Chapter Text
7th September, Tuesday, 3 PM
Hey,
I know we haven't spoken in years, and it's possible you've forgotten who I am. To be honest, I don't blame you; if I were in your shoes, I'd want to forget about everything that happened at the time.
I recently saw this huge interview with you, and I was pleased to see that you had become a Symbol of Peace in the United States. It's a little ironic that all of your attacks are named after states, but that's beside the point.
I was going to start with a lame but friendly “hi Deku," but I don't think I have the right to do so. Fuck that. I've never had the fucking right to refer to you by that stupid fucking nickname.
I was a stupid kid who wanted to be better than everyone, even when his fucking inferiority complex was dragging him down; but that's no excuse for what I did to you, and I don't feel like I have the right to ask you to forgive that stupid fucking brat from the past.
So now I don't know what to call you anymore. We are not acquaintances or friends. We are just strangers with memories, some of which I am ashamed of because of my idiotic behavior.
Sugar-coating shit, which I need to say, was never my thing, so I'm just gonna get to the goddamn point. I want to say that I'm sorry for everything.
From the stupid nickname to the bullying to the cruel and hurtful words you never deserved. I'm sorry, Izuku, I'm truly sorry, and I'm really not asking for forgiveness. I don't deserve it, but I just wanted to let you know how I feel. Fuck me. I'd never known how to express my emotions other than being angry and cursing everyone in my vicinity.
I still do that sometimes, but I'm trying really hard to work on those issues and suppress all of that useless anger that brings me nothing but shit that I don't want.
One of the things that urged me to write this after such a long time is that I finally figured out why I hated you so much, and it's so fucking childish and stupid that it makes me want to smash my head against a fucking wall.
Maybe I'm wrong, but if my memory serves me correctly, it happened when we were around four years old, perhaps a few weeks before my quirk manifested, and we were in the woods behind your apartment complex, looking for cicadas or other strange bugs that fascinated us at the time. And it all happened so quickly: I saw this big, colorful bug and thought you'd like it, so I went straight to the tree trunk that was dangling over the river. I don't remember exactly what happened and how the fuck my ass ended up in the water, but I do remember that I fucked my right knee pretty badly and the fact that I still have a big ass fucking scar is my reminder of what happened that day.
Anyway, I couldn't walk because I was bleeding and that shit hurt like a bitch, but you rushed up to me and urged me to get on your back, despite the fact that you were smaller and weaker than me. I still remember your small hands trembling as you stood in front of me, staring at the wound, and, fuck Izuku, it took us nearly half an hour to get back to your apartment, but you never let me down.
This is going to sound corny, but you were a hero to me at the time. When my quirk appeared but yours did not, I tried to convince myself that you were a late bloomer, that your quirk was so impressive that you needed a little more time to prepare for it. Your quirk, even after a year, wasn’t there. You were quirkless.
I'm not sure what emotions I was feeling at the time. Maybe disappointment, betrayal, or even numbness. In my view, the person I admired for a short time appeared to be a fake. The person who carried me on his back while shaking like a fucking idiot was hardly anything like the child who always trailed behind me with a fake smile.
And when we enrolled in the UA and I found you had a quirk, my entire illusion about you was shattered in an instant. You were so strong, and I felt like I was falling behind, like I was going back to when I couldn't do any-fucking-thing. It's never been so painful to look at your back as it was back then. So I tried my hardest to keep up with you, but my inferiority complex ate me alive in the end.
I never understood why you never gave up, why you still wanted to go to UA, and why you never resented me when I told you to... take a dive. Fuck, those words are still haunting me, and now I'm glad you didn't listen to me and kept moving forward… Naw, never mind. I don't want to talk about that. Fuck that.
So, yeah, I know it was a mistake to treat you that way, and I apologize once more.
I'm just going to switch topics because I know you don't want to read and relive those horrible memories.
Some of our classmates are still in touch with me, and I occasionally team up with them. Ochako is doing fantastically well. She achieved her dream and, man, she is thriving as a pro hero. And even Todoroki is a big deal now; after abandoning his revenge plan, or whatever it was, he created his own agency and took in all the children who had been neglected by their parents, giving internships and even financial support to those in fucked up situations.
They are all working hard even now.
I'm also working hard to maintain my position as the number one hero, which I'm pretty fucking proud of, but the name "Ground Zero" is starting to weigh on me.
Anyway, I'm not writing this to bitch about my life. I hope you have a good life as well, and that you have finally found happiness and fulfilled all of your dreams and aspirations.
Write me back or don't. Do whatever the hell you want,
Katsuki Bakugou
12th September, Saturday, 8 PM
Kacchan,
From the moment I opened the letter, I knew it was you. Not because of what was written, but because I will recognize your beautiful handwriting even after long years of nothing. I saw that hey and instantly panicked haha. I even needed to close it for a whole half an hour to just... breathe. You almost always make me need a breath.
Wait, don't take that the wrong way. Alright. I know your whole letter was like, forgive me for my shitty behavior that stemmed from personal problems that should have never involved you in any way, or at least, this close to it. It was something like this. And while I can admit that I needed it. This letter. I needed this kind of closure, I needed to read it and feel it in my bones, because I did. I felt it. You never do things half the way. Never did. And even though we haven't seen each other in years, haven't talked at all, I follow what you guys do. I follow you. Even through a screen, even if it's a controversial thing or the thousands of heroics you do and nothing more, I can still see that intensity you put in everything (You managed to remain so secretive and impersonal outside your Pro Hero identity while me, right here, was discussed yesterday on a widely known tv show about the kind of underwear I have depending on the weekdays. Atrocious. How do you do it?)
I just want to say, the short version, that you never half-ass things. You do them. I know your apology was the most of sincerest things I will ever receive, and perhaps that is why I cried like a baby. But hey, you know me, I am an emotional guy. Though I can't say these last years gave me permission to be, with how much rests on my shoulders. Responsibilities and all that. So, yea. Thank you for making me have a cry session. A truly ugly one. It was riveting. Freeing. I had a good time.
Now that this ramble is over, let me lecture you a little bit. First of all, this sentence right here, the I don't have a right to ask for your forgiveness, is utter bullshit. With due respect, Kacchan. That doesn't stay in your right to choose if I forgive you or not. Asshole. Yea, you asshole. I can well damn forgive you, because it's my right to do so if I want. Which, yes. I want. I fact, I already did it a long, long time ago. You just didn't know because... well, because I didn't say that. Because I didn't need to. Because maybe you didn't want to know that you had my forgiveness, or maybe because I thought you weren't ready to have it at that time, it wasn't what you needed. I know for damn sure it wouldn't have been the type of closure we both needed. So there, don't wallow in self-pity for things that are now behind us as a whole. You need it now, and I'm giving it to you with all my heart: I forgive you, Katsuki Bakugou.
Also, second of all this: You calling me Izuku. Oh, God. What is that. How. I can't even imagine. No, shut up. Please. I'm sure you had changed in many ways, and a screen can't really project all of it, but I've heard your voice these days, and let me tell you, my brain trying to imagine you saying my name with that tone of yours is kind of. Terrifying. The Symbol Of Peace of this generation is terrified of that. I will not explain how is not in your right but in mine to say if you can call me Deku or not, because I think you got it for sure, but yea. Deku is alright, Kacchan. It basically came from you, even if the meaning had changed, even if it had been something not so pleasant at first. But hey. Development happens, right? You've felt it, I've felt it. We have to accept it. Deku is a hero right now. Deku is good.
Wow, this is gonna be a long one, but I have so much to say about... everything. Also, before I go on another really long tangent. You seeing me on news makes me want to rewatch every interview I've done so I can see if I said some stupid shit or not, or if there's some improvement to my English. I'm really trying, but the accent is fucking me up sometimes. A real struggle, Kacchan. My English tutor is always joking about how unstoppable I'm going to be when I will be able to rant in two different languages. I think he's exasperated with my Japanese mumbles as much as you were haha.
I know I'm stalling the big Elephant In The Room but. I kind of don't want to open the subject of the little childhood story you told me. Made me cry hard, sure, but also, it's heavy. It's something I don't want to talk about right now. Your letter was cathartic, and it also was closure for you and for me, and I think you meant for it to be sent and just that. I know for sure you won't expect an answer, that you think you don't deserve it.
I'm answering, Kacchan, but I won't talk about what happened in the past right now. I forgave you, and I'm at peace, and I got my closure for all those times. I hope you got it too. I truly do. I just want to talk to you. I want to ramble about anything else, everything. I'm already doing it, but I want to do more. I want to catch up, and even if none of us is ready for a call, or a video call, or even to exchange numbers, I will send this shit show of a letter in hopes it kinda makes you smile, and in hopes you'll send another one of yours. So we can talk. And catch up.
Some day maybe. Maybe we can talk about it. About why it happened, about all the details, about me and you of that time, but right now we're in our mid-twenties and you extended an olive branch to me and I took it so let's make a goddamn tree together and build something healthier between us. (What do you say?)
Also, I talk to Uraraka from time to time(but your little update on her warmed my heart.) Yes, she is indeed thriving. And as merciless as ever. She's always asking when I'm coming to visit. Relentless, she is. But I did do a double blink when I read that you and Shouto are... interacting. It's. Wow. It's something to think about. I haven't seen any interviews with you two, or articles for that matter(I said I follow you guys, but I also am a dumbass with lots of stuff to do so don't take those words to heart? I don't really see everything going on. The internet is a trippy space for me. They're forcing me to make a Twitter account right now, and it's been a war about that.) You and Shouto as a duo seems to be something absolutely horrifying for all villains in Japan. Good luck to them, I say.
Wish you could have written more about Ground Zero. About you. I don't care if you call it bitching about your life. Bitch to me. I'm here for it. I will do it in return, but only if you initiate it. Let's bitch to each other. (It's an invitation. Be polite and accept it, Kacchan. Or just tell me to go fuck myself. It's fine either way.)
My dreams are... they are ongoing, to be honest. Can you really say you achieved something that is still happening? I'm sure you get it. Let's hope for the best. Let's hope for more. Let's be happy and then some. I am happy, but there's the more , you know? There's a world to protect. There's always more.
But I hope you are happy as well. Sometimes I think things in Japan can be even harsher than in America. The media there is ruthless. Not that here it's not, but I don't know. It's just a feeling that I'm having. Remember, if you want to bitch. My mailbox is open.
My rambling stops here.
with happiness,
Midoriya Izuku (Deku :) )
14th September, Tuesday, 2 AM
Hello, this is the person you referred to as an "asshole."
First, I cannot fucking believe it. You, Iuzku Midoriya, had the audacity, the fucking audacity, to call me, Katsuki Bakugou, Ground fucking Zero, an asshole. A fucking asshole. Damn, that caught me off guard a little. Someone became sassier in the last few years, ha.
Yeah, I wasn't expecting a response, and I can imagine how you felt when you saw mine. I was hesitant to open yours because, well, you never know. I was prepared to take all of your harsh words and even a fucking letter from your lawyers threatening to sue me for all of the emotional, physical, and psychical trauma I had caused you in the past. It was fortunate for me that it wasn't that.
It took me days to write to you again, and I still have no idea how to respond to yours or what to say; because this is strange, you know, being able to talk to you and seeing that you forgave me. Holy fucking shit, Izu, I'm still shaking just by thinking about it.
I'm not going to repeat myself about how I still don't think I'm deserving of your forgiveness cause something inside me tells me that you gonna fly your ass here just to beat mine so, uh, thank you? No, fuck, it’s fucked up to say “thank you” for something like that, isn’t it? But I believe you understand what I'm trying to say, which is that I'm grateful.
The way you wrote and phrased your sentences reminded me of how long it's been since I've been able to hear (or see in our case, but that's beside the point) you. I'm not sure if it's because I was a jerk in high school or because the years have changed us both, but you're expressing yourself so well, even with your ramblings and mumblings. And, yeah, I'm sure the poor dude is done with you if you're still as bad as you were when we were kids. Jesus, why are you still doing that? Still overthinking shit like you used to do, hm?
Also, what exactly do you mean when you say "I follow you guys"? Because the last time I spoke with Todoroki, you stated in an interview that "social media isn't really for me, so I stay as far away as I can." Give me an explanation for that one, nerd; you've piqued my interest. For your information, I simply bark at any reporters who approach me; they become terrified and decide to leave me alone,,, Nah, I’m kidding, I wish it were that simple, but I try to stay out of their way as much as possible, and the fact that they see me as a reckless but invincible hero helps? I believe so. I don't know, and to be honest, I couldn't care less about what the media thinks of me and my personal life. If they are not up my ass, they can say whatever they want. Seriously, they thought “Deku's underwear” was a good idea? Who the fuck approved of that? Can’t you, fuck, sue them? Yeah, you should sue them, BUT, if you were wearing old all might merch, then don’t. It’s totally your fault and I stand by that. You and your underwear, I fucking swear.
Don’t. Don’t you fucking dare to re-watch your interviews dumbass, you’re doing fine. Don’t stress about it. Take your time, even if you're having trouble with your accents and shit. I believe that actions speak louder than words, and in our field, actions are everything.
You said you wanted to know more about me, about Ground Zero, but I'm warning you, it's not going to be anything spectacular; it'll just be basic nonsense. Yes, Todoroki and I collaborate on occasion, and I am proud to say that he is one of my closest friends. Izu, a lot of fucked up shit happened after you left, and he was the only one who stayed by my side during those times. Don't get me wrong, fucking Icy-Hot right now is still annoying, and I sometimes wish I could gag him (please, for the love of fucking god, don't make this weird. Not in that fucking way, but violently and mercilessly.) and ignore whatever he says, but I know I would never be where I am now if it weren't for him. I'll never be able to thank him enough for everything he did for me. Denki and Shinsou are also close to me, because Pikachu here decided that dating a wanna-be Aizawa was a good idea, and it was. He's a good guy, too, and it's easy to work with him. He's also fun to be around. I believe you would like him.
That's all I have to say about my personal life because there hasn't been much in the last few years. I keep training and overworking myself, but now I also have paperwork to complete. It's difficult to run an entire agency by myself while also being on the field around 80 percent of the time, and fatigue is beginning to take its toll.
Closure. The word itself makes me terrified for some reason. Closure. I think... I think it is something that we both looked for in these years. Closure. Yeah, I needed that, maybe more than ever. And maybe you were the only one that could offer me that closure. That feeling of peacefulness. The feeling of being whole. Thank you, Izuku. For everything that you said in that letter, and even more, even the things you left out, thank you for all of that.
It still doesn't feel real for me to be able to talk to you, so I apologize if this was a mess or too short, but I need more time. It's time to give myself permission to feel these emotions. This does not imply that I will simply stop responding to your letters; don't jump to that conclusion. I just need some time to get used to you again, which I believe we both need. We changed, things happened, and now we're in our mid-twenties, as you mentioned. We're not the same as we used to be, but we're still similar in some ways, and I have to accept that.
So, please tell me who is the current Pro Hero Deku and who is the real Izuku Midoriya. Tell me about the real you, not the one who is on display in public. Deku, I would like to get to know you, so talk to me.
Don't worry, I'll do the same,
Katsuki
16th September, Thursday, 11:20 AM
First Of All,
First of everything, I should've expected you to tease. Why didn't I? I should've. That's how you are. I know that even though I wasn't the one really at the receiving end, that you love to fucking tease. You used to do it with Kirishima all the time. Flustered the poor guy into oblivion so many times. (How is he, by the way? Saw him in a dramatic news report about a hidden love-child? News at home are ridiculous as fuck, but we're not talking about that right now-) You teasing bastard, Kacchan. How do you read a whole paragraph about me freaking out over you calling me Izuku, then decide to still continue calling me Izuku, then you add an extra drop of salt into the wound and come up with Izu.
You're out to get me, in the worst and best way. Izu. Holy fucking fuck. Fuck you, really. Like, truly fuck you, Kacchan. Do you know how many people here use first names as a way to address everything, uncaring of personal and impersonal status? I'm used to strangers calling me Izuku, where there would have been a Midoriya, and I'm used to Deku, because that's who I am. (I kind of miss the way you used to say it. It's that sadistic of me? I'm sure it is. I'm a bit of a weirdo, it seems.) But Izu? Who the fuck is Izu, I asked myself with I first read it in your handwriting, then I realized that it's me. I'm Izu.
Alright, I needed to get that out. I'm sure this name thing from you is going to be a constant problem for me, so congrats, you're able to fluster the one that was tilted as an Untouchable Hero when it comes to that type of thing. Also, let's be real. The sassy one is not me. That's you. Sometimes I wonder how fucking razor-sharp your brain is. Like, really. Some of your responses to the press hurt even my soul, and I'm miles away from home. Of course they're gonna leave you alone. Your intimidating aura is still impressive even after years of knowing you.
On the subject of razor-sharp, I hope you and Shouto are playing nice most of the time with each other. (Refrain from gagging him violently, please, Kacchan. Let him figure out his kinks on his own.) The fact that you admitted that he is one of your closest friends made me take a break from the letter to just eat and compute it all. No wonder there are some tabloids going on about you two being a secret thing in the romantic sense almost every month, (did some research these days. This is what I'm talking about with 'follow you'. Also, I won the war about social media accounts, but yesterday I received an invitation to be the next bachelor of this season's The Bachelor? Wild.) your relationship with Shouto is one of the most intriguing things in Japan, and I agree honestly. Tell him I said hi, and he should write to me too. I miss his dry humor.
DENKI AND SHINSOU? Well, things are bound to be... interesting, in that particular household, then. (You're still calling him Pikachu. Adorable, Kacchan.)
Also, no. I don't wear All Might underwear anymore. You'd think I would figure out that wearing my dad figure in front of my dick a lot sooner than I did, but at least I did. My underwear is pretty simple, really. A lot of dark blues and greys. Maybe some hot reds if I feel bold enough. I am a full-fledged adult, Kacchan. Honestly.
You said that I would come there and beat your ass because of the forgiveness thing, but I might as well fly and beat your fucking ass anyway because I don't like you saying you're overworking yourself. Take some breaks, the number one Hero needs to put himself first so the others have his utmost support at all times. Seriously, go to some spa sessions and find someone to teach you some Yoga, Kacchan. I know you have many skincare routines; it's time you had some for your mind and body. Keep them in shape in more ways than one.
I love how we both are like "tell me more about you" and yet we both deflect and say some impersonal stuff and then pass the torch to the other one in hopes of more and then we end up with nothing from each other. You said it will take you some time to get used to it. I respect that. I agree with it. So. Let's play a game. I tell you something about myself in every letter, like a fact that needs to be stated, and you do the same in return. Let's take it slow, yes?
Alright, fact one: Sometimes I walk naked around my house, well almost naked. It depends on my mood, you know? Clothes can be really restricting often, so I like to unwind by taking them off when I'm at home. Just being free of everything, metaphorically or not. Then I moved to another house after a stalker incident, and I didn't realize that I have big glass doors and windows, so I may have flashed all of my naked glory to half of my neighbors for a week and a half before realizing that I'm doing it. (On second thought, now I think I know why and how half of the world is talking about my underwear. Huh.)
with amusement,
Midoriya Izuku
19th September, Sunday, 12 AM
C’mon,
Back in the day, I don't think I teased Kirishima all that much, or at least that wasn't my intention. He's fine; we actually had a business dinner a few days ago, where we talked about an interview we were asked to do and caught up on our lives. He was ecstatic for me and the fact that I started talking with you again. He said something to the impact of "pretty manly of me " or something along those lines.
And that shitty thing about the love child? The fucking idiots saw him and Mina looking after a child while they were off duty and started the whole fucking thing, but the truth is that the poor child got lost and our stupid friends had to look after him until the parents arrived to pick up their offspring.
Don’t get ahead of yourself, nerd, cause it wasn’t just reading “a whole paragraph about me freaking out over you calling me Izuku, ” . Do you think I didn’t need a fucking second just to goddamn register all of that? Just the fact that you freaked out over my fucking voice ? Motherfucker, that smacked me in the gut like a ton of bricks. Izu , you are not the only one who is disturbed by the small and insignificant details written in these letters.
And yeah, Izu . Why? Simply because I desire it. I think it's something,,, cute , let’s say. What, saying your name now, is now equivalent to something like saying a bad word? Unfortunately, and we both know it, I fucking adore saying bad words.
Yes, Americans are indifferent about honorifics and the like, which is peculiar for all of us who were taught how and when to use them from a young age. I can imagine you being very flustered and puzzled when people addressed you by your first name, and I can also imagine you adding "san" and "chan" to the end of their names for no reason other than habit. It's amusing.
Jesus fucking christ, now you're cursing the fuck out of me, Jesus fucking christ! Fuck Izu , America really made you so brave. Yes, cuss me some more. I'm curious to see how many cuss words our little Izuku has picked up. Is your dear mother aware that her sweet, sweet child is uttering the words "fuck you" with his entire chest? Hm? Tell me Izu, does Inko know? (Also, a small point to add so I don't have to write a big ass fucking paragraph about it. I don't think it's strange that you missed that; maybe a little sadistic, but not strange. That's all there is to it.)
What the fuck did that little nickname do to you? I can't imagine you getting worked up over a simple nickname. That didn't change at all; You're still a big softie. That's interesting to know. And, to answer your question, I'd say yes. Extremely sharp. (I wanted to add that fucking lame winky face, but that would be too much; however, there is a wink at the end of that sentence.)
Like I could be in a fucking relationship with someone who looks at me like they're my fucking therapist, who crashes on my couch every two days so we can watch all of the stupid shows he pushed onto me, and who still bitches about his father on every occasion. No way, that's a big no for me. Besides, the fucking bastard would rather stab himself in the back of the head with a dull frigging fork than date me, and I'd rather eat rat poison than date my best friend. Don't worry, I'll tell him to write to you when he wakes up, because today was one of those days when we were both bitching about this TV show while eating soba on my couch, and now he's out cold on the same said couch. This dude is going to hibernate for at least fourteen hours because he ate too much food.. ( I’m not really gonna gag the bastard and, Deku, I really do not wanna get into the discussion about Todoroki’s kinks. Not ever again.)
If we're talking about low-quality TV shows, don't accept the invitation! I don't want to watch that show (yes, Todoroki and I watched all 25 seasons don't judge us) and see you with a fucking custom-made dildo in your image or anything like that. It's also a waste of time, money, and intelligence. Yes, intelligence because it's so stupid. After 25 seasons, believe me when I say that I know pretty much everything there is to know about that stupid show. Tell them to fuck themselves and that you won't be there just so they can fucking skyrocket their audience because they fucked up last season and lost views. Nah-ah. Nope.
I could hear that scream for fucks sake, yeah nerd, Denki and Shinsou, the weird and weirdo. They are two peas in a pod. He had been drooling over the insomniac bastard since the first time he saw him and decided to confess to him in our final year because he was afraid of losing him. It was kind of cute, but the whole thing was a fucking disaster, and you're lucky you weren't there.
Took you some good years to stop wearing them, and yeah, I bet red is your color, Mr full-fledged adult.
Can you really see me doing yoga? For fucking real, Izuku ? Just the thought of me in a park, doing some fucking strange moves like,,, fucking I have no idea? Crow pose and fucking lord of fishes! Who the fuck named all of these moves, they are all dumb as fuck. ( I had to look them up because I had no idea about any yoga poses) Plus, Izu , the books and paperwork won't write themselves if I don't pull a few all-nighters every month. I'm taking care of myself in my own unethical way, but rest assured, I'm fine. You would have received an invitation to my funeral if I hadn't been, and had truly overworked myself because Todo is worse than my old hag.
We pass the thing back and forth because we're both dumb, and we're both a little uncomfortable with it, which is fine. It's perfectly normal for us to take our time. Only one thing at a time. Baby steps. This way, we'll be able to build something even stronger between us.
You must believe me when I say that I wheezed so hard that I choked. Izu , you're such a fucking idiot. How on earth did you miss the fucking huge ass glass wall? How? Fuck, you might need a pair of glasses. Your new neighbors were extremely fortunate to be given the opportunity to partake in a nude catwalk-style experience. Fuck me, that’s fucking funny. Be careful; you might wake up one day to find that your dick or ass is trending on Twitter.
Ok. It's my turn now.
I'm still in the small apartment I got after my parents kicked me out when I was around seventeen. It's a small space with a bedroom, a living room that's connected to this lovely kitchen that I've grown to love after a few funny incidents, a small bathroom, and a balcony that I also enjoy. For two reasons, I never moved out. To begin with, moving from one location to another is inconvenient and time-consuming, and I don't have much time on my hands. Second, I have so many memories in this tiny space that I'm afraid I'll lose them all if I move. Even if some of them aren't the prettiest, they are still significant parts of my identity. So there you have it. Ground Zero, the big bad Pro Hero, lives in a tiny apartment in a desolate part of town. Just him and his cat.
I hope that one day you will be able to visit this place that I call home and where I have so many memories, and perhaps add a few more,
Katuski.
24th September, Tuesday, 7:57 PM
Dear Bakugou Dick Or Ass Is Trending On Twitter Katsuki,
It's hard to respond to everything written in these because I get sidetracked easily between topics but I will try my best.
Firstly, it's already happened so no need in being careful now. The Twitter thing. Well, kind of? Long story short, a year or two ago there was chaos on Twitter with my name as the cherry on top. Apparently, a series of pictures with my "dick" started to travel throughout all of Twitter, under all the goddamn topics. Didn't matter if it was under the K-pop topic or the Food one, my "dick" was present, uncensored and all. It was... messy. Not to mention the fact that it wasn't really my dick. They all thought it was, because surprise, surprise, apparently all the world thinks I'm supposed to be the only person with dark green pubic hair? (This is delving into a really weird topic, but I'm powering through for the sake of the story) So yes, all of Twitter is screaming about this particular picture of an average dick surrounded by dark green pubs, and my name and hero name all both in every tweet. When I tell you I was freaking out... Oh, boy. For multiple reasons; mainly, I was thinking "Is this a ploy to lure me out somehow to post my own dick pics? Is this a genius move and I'm falling for it?" and "How the fuck do I get out of this mess?" And before you say something, shut up, alright? I know my freaking outs are weird, but my dick is my dick. I know it, and I don't like people thinking they can see it as they please and that is that dick. I like my own dick.
Alright... Enough talk about my dick. I already wrote that word too many times, it's getting strange. End of the story: the guy whose pee pee was posted all over the internet under my name revealed himself with proof and everything and after three days of people screaming about all that some more everyone forgot about it because of course, it's the internet. What did I expect?
Now onto something else. Yes, you should try Yoga, Kacchan. Those weird positions are said to bring peace into your body, and mind. C'mon, I know you're flexible enough, just try it. You never know what could be your vibe. Yoga could be it. Tight pants, a tank top and Yoga. Talking to cool moms while doing the Down Dog On A Chair position. Shouto should come with you. We all know you both need it. Some relaxation. (I know he's seeing you as his therapist as well. It's concerning how you found that level of internal liberation in each other when you're both the way you are. What is going on? )
Kirishima and Mina taking care of a child for a while and the whole thing getting written in the press as some salacious affair with a love child is both hilarious and really upsetting for some reason? Also, sounds like the plot of some type of fiction that many would eat up.
And no, I'm not adding 'chan' just for everyone, Kacchan. You of all people should know. :)
(Not talking about names and nicknames with you. I'm done with these. Fucking tease.)
I don't know if I should be concerned about the fact that you had the patience to watch 25 whole seasons of these, but to be honest, it almost urges me to accept just so I can receive letters full of you screaming at me about it with your strange The Bachelor geekiness in between. Still can't fucking believe you're a The Bachelor geek. (Shouto? Not so surprised. Not really. Just look at him, he'd love this type of torture). But then again, this show requires lots of flirting for me, lots of girls to be falling in love with me, and sudden make outs? I don't really feel like kissing one girl per hour, or telling twenty something girls that they are what I'm looking for and I'm falling for them. And I don't think The Bachelor would bend the rules and add some guy participants just for me as well. Shame, really. That maybe would have convinced me.
My neighbors might get tired of seeing my abs and my scars, really. And my perfectly normal underwear that is sometimes red. They have to take me to dinner first if they think they can see my real dick.
We are so different in this aspect. It's interesting to think that you would like to stay in a modest home, a nostalgic one, one that is full of your essence in every way, and here am I, not being capable of settling in one. I love large rooms, space. I love glass windows and heights. I can't really stay in small homes for a long period of time without feeling suffocated. It's not about luxury, not really. I just... the feel of it, like it's a whole world that I could call mine. Maybe that is why we have such a stark difference of privacy. You know how to keep it, how to take care of it. I just move on. People follow it, my trail. I don't care if villains know where my home is(They can try and come for me in my house. I dare them.) or if paparazzi find it and I end up half-naked on international tv.
YOU HAVE A CAT? Tell me their name. That is so adorable. :(
(Stepping into your little corner of comfort that you name house would be the most wonderful thing I wish I could do even right now. I hope you will receive me, someday.)
I guess now it's my turn. And if we’re already on this topic...
I was in a relationship with this guy who is half cat. It was... a journey, for sure. Since then, I can't really entertain the idea of owning a cat? I love cats, but really... It's strange. It's like my mind can't separate those two from each other. It's dumbfounding. He told me it's normal. Ex-cat boyfriend. And I guess I can see why. After hearing someone like, meowing constantly while having sex you're bound to not hear it the same. Ever. And purring... And tails. Kacchan, my mind is a fucking mess in a lot of places, and one of them is because I fucked a cat-boy. But, the strange part is that the notion of owning a cat is weird, but when other people own cats... It's not. It's not at all, and that itself stresses me out. Like, how the fuck does this work. How the fuck?
(yes, my mom knows his sweet son cusses. don't worry, I'm still her sweet boy. :) )
with too much tmi written in a single letter,
Midoriya Mr. Full-Fledged Adult Izuku, or you know, Izu
17th October, Sunday, 12:13 AM
Oh, fuck fuck fuck, Izu I’m so sorry. Oh my fucking god, it's been nearly three weeks since I've been able to respond. Sorry for the late response.
Hero work got the best of me again, and there was a strange chain of events that culminated in me being invited to a funeral that didn't happen because the deceased wasn't,,, dead? I'm not sure what the fuck happened, to be honest. Maybe the dude got a special quirk that allowed him to regenerate slowly or even a second chance? At the very least, I wasn't forced to attend a funeral.
How the fuck have I never heard about your dick on Twitter astounds me. I don't use it, but Shouto does, so he keeps me up to date on the most boring, fucked up, and dubious things that exist. I was trying to feed our cat last night when this motherfucker appeared behind me, mumbling about some mutant monkey who might or might not have discovered a cure for some rare disease. And I was sitting there, tuna can in one hand, dry cat food in the other, staring at him as if I had just seen Jesus in my living room. I slapped him across the face with some kitchen towels and returned to feeding the poor cat.
Also, I can only imagine the number of people who got off with that horny photo because they were thinking of you. Got a lot of bitches on that fake dick pic. Strange question, because I don't want to be the only one who has experienced this. Did you ever get like nudes or like,,, I don’t know, weird shit from your fans, cause, and lemme tell you Izu, this morning when I returned from fieldwork I saw this small box on my desk, and when I opened that bitch,,, I really was ready to blow up someone (and not in a fun, kinky way. nope.) it was a fucking pair of panties, with a fucking photo of me on the crotch and a fucking letter written in period blood, according to what I was told later.
And this, this my dear, is my Villain Origin Story.
I'm not going to try Yoga or hang out with fucking milfs in the park looking for a hookup. EVEN MORE SO IN LEGGINS. Nope. I categorically refuse. Thank you very much. Never in your life,, and I mean /never/ put my name and yoga in the same phrase. Or you’re gonna hear from my lawyers. If I need to let off steam, I can go to the gym two blocks away. (and to respond to your “what’s going on” question, well, i have no answer. I just,,, bonded over trauma? Just kidding, I was stuck with him and realized I didn't hate him as much as I thought, y’know, he's fine)
Okay, but how about "-san", hm? What about that one? And why am I a fucking tease? I didn't do anything. Your honor, I am completely blameless. As if I were a newborn. The holy spirit resides inside me.
I wish we had stopped at those 25 seasons, but nooo, the bastard had to find more from that genre and force me to watch it with him, and again, fuck you and your smart mouth for calling me a geek when I was literally forced to watch that shitty show with a cute cat in my lap, unable to move from that worn-out couch, and with nothing better to do than watch it. And you can bet your ass that they won't bend the rules for your cute ass and just because you're the number one hero. Consider the possibility of them assaulting you because they all want to be on your dick or have their dicks in you. Izu, that's a no-no. Keep your ass safe.
Yes, I believe we have had enough of your underwear and dick for a while. Any more, and my therapist will be informed.
We've always been different, and it's ironic how I'm the one who clings to small things like memories and such. It's funny how I can't picture you in a small house like mine without seeing you fidgeting and looking like you have this huge pair of wings that can't relax in this cramped space. You're not someone who can stay in one place for long periods of time. That occurred to me a long time ago, perhaps after you had left us and moved away. You desired to wander, to be everywhere and nowhere all at once. You appeared to want the entire world for yourself, and let me tell you right now, you already had it. Long, long before you moved away. Don’t ask me how I know this, because I will not answer it, just, believe my words.
Please, for the love of God, Izu, don't invite any villains to your house. That’s just,,, No. Don't do it. Oh my fucking god. I swear to God, if I ever see that nonsense on the news, I'm taking the first flight out and whooping your stupid ass because I'm pretty sure you're in desperate need of some new brain cells.
So, I guess this is the point at which I'll tell you how I came to own this little angel. First and foremost, her name is Bubbles. She's a three-year-old white Siberian cat. I'd never wanted a pet because they're a big responsibility and I can barely look after myself, but when Shouto returned from one of his night patrols with a little dirty thing in his arms and begged me to save it because the poor thing was fading away, I couldn't help but drive 2 hours to the next city where we found an open clinic. Also, fuck this stupid city and the fact that there are no animal clinics open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. According to the injuries found on the little fluff ball, she was attacked by a large dog. We spent a lot of money that night, Shouto had to use Enji's card to cover the surgery and other large fees, and our poor baby had to stay in the hospital for a month.
We named her Bubbles because after we brought her home, she sat on the counter, watching me do the dishes, and out of nowhere, she jumped into the sink after the bubbles, and she also jumped into the bathtub with Shouto for the bubbles once more. So there you have it, Bubbles. I can't imagine coming home and not seeing her waiting for me in front of the door, or just walking into the living room and seeing Shouto and Bubbles napping on the couch together. It's just a favorite of mine.
Oh, she's a spoiled brat, which I'll blame on fucking Todoroki. This motherfucker gave her a FUCKING DIAMOND COLLAR as a Christmas present last year!! I'll say it again: a diamond collar. That bullshit is more expensive than my fucking apartment!
Okay, enough about my cat; I don't want to be one of those cat dads who can't stop talking about their pets.
YOU FUCKED A CATBOY? AND YOU DECIDED TO TELL ME THAT KNOWING THAT I OWN A FUCKING CAT? Oh fuuuuck me, just end me right fucking now. I DON’T NEED TO THINK ABOUT YOU FUCKING A CATBOY EVERYTIME I HEAR MY CAT MEOWING FOR FOOD.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck, i- i have no words. My brain just disappeared. Bye. Sayonara. No.
Quick fact cause it’s my turn and I’m just gonna take a break after to wash my brain with bleach. I need to get rid of the image of you having a tail around your dick. I don’t need that in my life.
I never had time for a serious relationship, and I wasn't mentally prepared to be in one, so I used to be in this situation with a guy I met once in a club. This shit went on for a few years. And it was fine; the sex was satisfactory but not sufficient. I'd moved on from the stage where all you want are empty things. We actually finished things a few days ago because we both did something stupid. The classic "oopsie, I moaned the wrong name" made us laugh, but it also made us realize that we are no longer enough for each other.
I picked up a lot of bad habits, like smoking and riding a motorcycle (this is a bad habit in Shouto's book, but I actually enjoy it), but I also picked up some good habits. He used to draw me after we had sex or in the middle of getting coffee. Little doodles and sketches. He would also draw on my skin if he didn't have any paper nearby. Beautiful flowers and amazing works of art covered my scars. So, I picked that as well, asked him to teach me the essentials, and now I'm probably on par with him.
Now that I'm writing this, I'm wondering why I've never been in love with him. Why couldn't I fall in love with him? But it's pointless to ask all of that now. It just wasn't meant to be.
If you had too much tmi, i fucked up with too many feelings,
Kacchan.
20th October, Wednesday, 12:21 PM
Dear Too Many Feelings, I must admit
You scared the shit out of me. Alright, perhaps the best way to put it: I thought I fucked up.
I might not be as panicked of a mess as I used to be, but the moment a week passed and there was no sign of a letter from you, my mind was racing with the several scenarios of you being absolutely done and revolted with my explicit ramblings about dicks, catboys and I don't even remember what else I put in it, but surely it must also have been stupid shit from yours dearly. Shortly, I can say these three weeks were too long, with one too many breakdowns over the fact that I might have messed up our developing whatever this thing between us is. The beginnings of a friendship? Letter pals? Something .
But then your letter arrived (I might have done a totally embarrassing happy dance. It was a satisfying one.), and I'm ashamed to say that I forgot the fact that you almost always take things in stride, no matter the topic. The fact that your letter opens with your quick explanation (it feels like you wrote all that in a hurry, which I never thought words could emulate feelings so visibly) and all the worries went out the window, and most likely will never return so congrats, you got yourself a tmi letter pal that will never stop being too tmi.
Did you ever think that Shouto didn't want to tell you about my dick because he also never wanted to "see" it, so he deleted the whole thing from his memory as soon as it went into his head? Or he might have as well never seen it, and that's also for the best, because as I underlined in the last letter, that was not my dick, thank you very much. I never thought my identity being catfished will be bound to someone else's dick, but here we are, and I'm going to leave it at this, because it's beginning to sound ridiculous even for me. (I don't think slapping Shouto with kitchen towels will make him stop, Kacchan. The man has resilient pettiness. Also, good for the mutant monkey.)
And look, before I begin to ramble about how much more shameless America is compared to Japan and its own crazy horniness that borderlines on creepiness, I am quite worried about the fact that a mere fan succeeded in infiltrating your agency just to give you her panties and period blood in a wrapped up, fucked up present. Do you read these lines? A fan infiltrated a hero agency, Kacchan. What do I make of this? I'm beginning to fret. This is absurd. Who is in charge of security these days? Give me their name and address. I would want to send them a letter as well. A long one.
Now, onto the TMI. Yes, Kacchan. I do, in fact, receive horny stuff from people without my consent. I can tell you from the variety of things, like free-roaming access to Onlyfans accounts, to somehow getting my phone always hacked with porn videos dedicated to me in my texts and very peculiar gifts that range from sex toys to more... weird shit, that yes, you're not alone. America has its own way of doing things (this is the perfect time to tell you that I moved from one of my last houses because I came home one day to find a hysterical fan in my bed, masturbating with my name on their lips. that was a weird Monday.) Who knew the Hero life could have this side of it? If mom ever finds out the thousands of situations that are completely sexual and sometimes not in the good way, she would absolutely faint.
(I shouldn't laugh at origin villain story jokes, having in mind my line of work, and yours , you asshole, but fuck you for making me choke on air with this one. I can't believe this shit. You're the ridiculous one this time.)
You're only refusing to accept yoga and leggings because you know that this is going to be your final, most powerful form, Kacchan. It's too powerful even for you. It's quite alright, I will somehow, someday, make you believe in yourself and welcome it with open arms. (Talking about milfs seems like another conversation that should not happen now. Also, can't believe you two are literally the epitome of The Power Of Shared Trauma that every shonen anime has. Think about that together, you and Shouto, because I don't believe the stuck together story you're trying to force upon me.)
Alright, Kacchan-san, let's not go that far. Holy spirit seems too much like a lie, and we both know you don't like lies.
(My ass is as safe as it can be, thank you for your concern. You protect yours as well.)
I will ignore you insulting my perfectly functional brain cells in favor of going nuts on your cat. Can't believe you really have one, and it's named Bubbles. You, have a cat. Named Bubbles. And that's mindblowing, and I would fly over Japan just for your cat, and I think someday this vibration in me will overpower anything else and you'll wake up with me at your doorstep, ready to pet and love your cat named Babbles. And of course she's a spoiled little thing, she's your cat. You're a spoiled brat as well, Kacchan, don't blame it on Shouto. You will never settle for less, you'll always crave the best. Of course your adorable kitten is just like you; Shouto was just delaying the inevitable. (Diamond collar sounds about right. I bet it has a small, jiggling bell. I want a picture of your cat, Kacchan. I already have a coo stuck in my throat just thinking about it.)
And for the love of God, never imagine a tail around my dick. That, alone, is making me want to give you new brain cells. Don't smear the image of your cute cat with a tail around my dick. Jesus. Please. Be pure, you asshole. Your cat doesn't deserve that. (Your screaming words were enough for me to know you didn't deserve it, either. I tainted you.)
You totally are a dad who never stops talking about his cat, which, cute. So cute.
I can't say that my relationships were serious, but I do think they had some substance; they weren't exactly empty, and I admit that I feel a lot, fast, and real. What I can say with some resemblance of confidence is that I kind of expected for you to be on the side of 'not serious at all'. It's not because of our history, or your past actions. But I feel like it would be out of your comfort, to share with someone so deeply. A relationship is a lot, and from what you've told me (you cherish comfort, like your house, your cat, the people you hold close to your chest), it makes sense for you to not want to delve into something so unpredictable, and sometimes destructive.
I would have told you that being in a casual relationship that goes on for several years is a kind of commitment as well, but then you go and tell me that you guys laughed because one of you moaned someone else's name during sex, and I could never do that, I don't think. Even if it would be called casual, even if we say we don't feel anything, I think the mere notion of a stranger's name on their lips would shatter me. That's where we're at opposite sides of a spectrum again, eh?
But I guess there's some beauty that came from it, right? Having someone drawing flowers on your skin has to be a pleasant thing. Someone drawing you, even more. Learning to do it, getting something that becomes a part of you from a situation you would call uninhibited. My scars are too big and too many to be covered (i kind of don't want to cover them; they are a deeply-rooted pride, in a way), but the thought is almost wistful. (I bet you're pestering Shouto or Kirishima for some skin to practice on.) As for bad habits, I have nothing to say. I smoke too, picked it up like it was a need I thought I had, without any help from anyone. Motorcycles not so much, because I'm the type to go places by flying or jumping on buildings. (Though it suits you. Kacchan and motorcycles. :) It totally suits you.)
Love is not meant to be questioned, just like stars are meant to remain untouched. But wondering is only human, so I get it. I'm a wanderer, after all.
It will come to you, Kacchan. Someday, when you're ready to feel it.
Fact(a lighthearted one): You know I was nominated as the Most Intimidating Hero of this generation? I wondered how, like any other Pro Hero who doesn't believe himself to be that scary. Is it my power, I asked? And surprise, Kacchan, they said not really. They said, your face, Deku. You have a pretty fucking terrifying expression when you're pissed.
I thought about it, and I guess I can look like a crazed, green-electricity-wrapped clusterfuck of fury dumbass when I want to.
Hurray me!
With a smile for Kacchan-san,
Deku :D
25th October, Monday, 12:12 AM
Dear Izuku,
Please keep your smile to yourself or I'll have a heart attack from the cuteness overload.
Oh my fucking god, you and you fucking dumbass, I can't believe you. So, instead of me being preoccupied with work as Japan's greatest hero, what if I just said fuck it and decided to fritter away this opportunity? Lame. You're in desperate need of some new brain cells. (It also does things to me, good things, that you did a stupid happy dance just because of my letter. Feelings and stuff like that.)
I'd like to say sorry for scaring you. I should have told you about my near-month-long disappearance into thin air. So get that stupid idea out of your little cute curly head, because no amount of dick talk and information about your kinks is going to scare me away.
Whatever you want to call it, this is what we have. I don't mind, and I’m way too busy to stress about labels now. We are who we are. Bakugou and Izuku. Just sending letters to each other. Izu, don't worry if you don't feel ready to put a label on this.
No, Izu, you have no idea how nosy Shouto has become. If something is trending on that fucking bird app, he'll be the first to know what's up, and this jerk doesn't have a filter. We would know if "your" dick had made it to Japan. I think he should have his own gossip magazine or podcast at times. Imagine Shouto Todoroki hosting a podcast where he spits on everyone while sipping hot tea on a Friday morning and discussing who fucked who the night before. Actually, fuck it, I'm going to encourage him to do that. (do I look like I care? No. I've done it before, and I'll continue to do it if I need to. Every day, the man will be slapped with wet kitchen towels, and he can shove his pettiness somewhere.)
Sir Big and Badass Izuku, try holding your goddamn horses. You ain’t gonna write shit. Leave my employees alone; they haven't done anything wrong. Security apprehended her as soon as they realized her intern ID was forged. Also, funny story, I recall receiving a letter from some random lawyer informing me that I would be sued for not paying child support. Me. As a father. What the actual fuck. (Yes, we did a paternity test and the child wasn't mine, so I sued the girl for defamation and won the case because I'm also a petty bitch.)
What were your thoughts on that fan? Sorry, I was too preoccupied with BOOKING A FUCKING FLIGHT TO MURDER SOMEONE. Izuku, how the fuck do they get into your house? Hm? Someone can get into an agency because it's busy, but your OWN house? Invest in a guard dog or a security system. Stop being a jerk and start taking care of yourself. If a fucking stranger showed up at my fucking door trying to sexually assault me, I'd freak out. It's odd, now that I think about it, that no one knows where I live. It's been years, and they still haven't figured it out? Or do they get lost in one of my neighborhood's many back alleys? In any case, I'm glad my house is still a safe place, because you and Shouto require a whole new level of security. (He used to have this thing where people would just show up at his house, cook for him, and even clean it for him, leaving him with disgusting shit and other fucked up shit He fucking found multiple condoms at his fucking door and even in his bedroom, all used and full of sperm. What the hell is wrong with these jerks?)
Oh my god, that was a hilarious joke. Actually, it's a very innocent one. Don't get your knickers twisted just because of that. Can we please, never fucking mention yoga? Like ever? Because I've seen that word so many times, I'm going to have nightmares. (We actually had a crying session while bitching about our miserable lives. And yes, dumbass, we bonded over trauma and shit like that. Happy?)
I believe Bubbles would adore you, so please pay her a visit if you ever find yourself in Japan. You'd be stuck with her in your lap for hours if she plopped herself in there. But I think, for both of us, it would be a win-win situation. Bring her treats as well; she enjoys them. I won't say I didn't contribute to her being spoiled, but believe me when I say Icy-Hot treats her like royalty. I had to sleep on the sofa once because the fucker was fast asleep in my bed with Bubbles, and they had taken up the entire bed. So, yes, the couch was waiting to meet me. (Yes, Shouto and I share the bed on occasion, and no, it's not weird.) Don't worry, I'll send you a picture of her.
What's the matter with my cat's tail? Bubbles' tail was never mentioned by me. I just assumed your ex-boyfriend had ears and a tail, so yeah. There's a tail. Plus, when did I become a prude? Hm? You wouldn't be able to taint me even if you tried your hardest. Todoroki, the fucking Todoroki, is my best friend. That says a lot. (Please, you monster, do not bring my pure Bubbles into this.)
Allowing someone else into this little safe haven I've created for myself feels like self-sabotage, so I try to stay as far away from it as possible. To make matters worse, commitment is a scary thing. I'm not sure how to explain this, but I doubt I'd be able to do so. Izuku, I don't trust myself or have the confidence to do it. It's just so unusual for me. It's the same when you're in love with someone. My inferiority complex, self-hatred, and everything else that's going on inside my head feels like it's going to eat me alive. I'll simply demolish what the other person is attempting to construct. And after all these years, I've come to the conclusion that love isn't for me… (We both sensed something wasn't quite right between us, and then we realized he's in love with someone else, and my mind is filled with somebody else, so it's funny that it took us so long to figure it out.)
Idiot, we weren't exclusive. He was seeing other people as well, and if he wasn't available, I'd take another person into bed. Our commitment was not the usual type of nonsense.
I don't think your scars can't be disguised with cute drawings and bright colors. Maybe one day I'll show you how to beautify your scars with flowers and random doodles.
I saw that in a magazine or an online article about how villains take a step back every time you confront them, and there was a small part about an idiot crying because you were so terrifying. Sorry, I don't recall much. But when you're mad, you can be terrifying. I felt that first-hand.
Now, here's a fact: Aizawa and I are still in contact, and we frequently have breakfast or dinner together to catch up on things. He served as my legal guardian for a period (this occurred shortly after you left), and I am grateful for everything he did for me.
I initially despised how he would try his hardest to communicate with me and simply try to get under my skin, but I later realized that he genuinely cared about me and was only trying to help. To me, he's like a father. We went to this small cafe for breakfast a few days ago (I believe he took me there, after he became my guardian and explained things to me. It's now our place,) and I told him about you. Regarding the fact that we talk and everything is fine. Izu, the smile on his face, I cannot explain to you, but he looked proud of me.
Anyway, it's getting late and I need to do some paperwork again, so good night Izuku,
Baku.
28th October, Thursday, 10:06 AM
Dear I Need To Do Paperwork At Ass O'clock,
Because I know it was ass o'clock when you decided that paperwork was in need of completion. Alright, I won't get into this, because I have this very insistent, very predictable feeling that this letter will be transformed into Scolding Katsuki Bakugou Until I Have No Words Left In Me, and I don't really have the time because I just came from work, I may be writing this with a concussion and maybe a few cracked ribs, my suit is kind of so fucked up that it feels like I'm from one of those porn videos: Beat Up Pro Hero Fucking Twink Villain Who Beat Him Up(yes, this is a legit title, and it may have been one sent to me by a horny fan who thought we should recreate it; or it was one an American friend sent me, because I have very strange taste in friends, apparently.)
Ok, I took a quick break from the letter to check if I really had cracked ribs, and the answer is a very bold yes, and you know what, I shouldn't have questioned it after years of being familiar with the feeling of ribs cracking after getting punched through four-five buildings in a row, but it's kind of funny that I still do it. It's like, every time my body breaks, my mind thinks of it as an itch that you don't know you have until you scratch it. Does this make sense? Am I speaking out of my ass because I'm clearly concussed and I should just go to the agency and get help? The real answer is yes. I might have to rewrite this whole thing after I conclude that is full of dumb typos. I might send it like this. It will depend on the shitty mood that I will have a few hours post-healing. My doctor is a very... peculiar fellow, you could say, and their quirk, while effective to the bone, leaves me with more mental scars than physical.
Ok, Ok, I'm back, and no, I didn't go to the agency, but I smoked a cigarette in the bathroom after I took my costume off, and now I can happily say that my head isn't swimming every few seconds and I decided to quickly write this before I go and I get patched up. So, sorry for rambling several paragraphs about the messy state I'm in. It felt good to just let it out on paper instead of smoking one too many cigs to get out my frustrations. Also, I am sure you're properly fuming at me right now, but you know what, Kacchan? I've always been the reckless one between the two of us, you gotta admit, so you could just think of this as a Deku thing that will never go away, because that's what it is, and perhaps that will make you feel better. Or maybe not. I tried.
Now, onto your letter. Firstly, I still cannot wrap my head about your friendship with Shouto Todoroki. Like, really. Think about it from my perspective? I've left in our third year, when you guys were still kind of hostile with each other(or you were; Shouto was more like... indifferent, or at least tried to talk to you peacefully.) And now you're talking about encouraging him to make a shameless podcast. You're sleeping in a bed with him, sharing a bed. You basically a raising a cat together with him, you're beating him up with fluffy kitchen towels like an angry housewife . Househusband? Let's just say house spouse, because whatever. Do you get it? It's kind of mind-blowing still. It's been weeks since we've first started writing to each other, and I'm still gaping whenever you tell me something about you two. And I'm sure your relationship with our other former classmates is doing so much better as well. I'm sure you and Kirishima are just as close as you were, and I'm sure Denki is around you constantly. And Mina. And Sero! I'm kind of proud, in a weird way.
(Now I will write about how I busted a goddamn lung just thinking about the rumors of your alleged love-child spreading throughout Japan like fucking crazy: I busted a goddamn lung. So hard. Oh, Pro Hero life shenanigans. You love and hate to experience it. I have no such story to tell you, but that's alright with me. I have no future kids in mind for the time being.)
I already love the idea of having my lap full of a purring cat. I don't care how many hours; I will move my whole life on that couch if that's what your precious, spoiled cat wants. You know... Perhaps having a cat is what made you begin with these shocking nicknames you're throwing towards me. I'm sure you're going around the house spewing every nickname possible towards Bubbles. Or I'm just still talking out of my ass, because you've always had a thing for nicknames, but the difference is their feeling. Like, your UA nicknames were kind of... flavourful, whereas these ones feel... tender. In a way. Sweet. It makes me remember this Pro Hero partner I had that would always be flustered whenever I would call her darling or sweetheart, even though I was doing it in a dry way, because she used to irk the shit out of me most of the time.
Yes, that's right. My patience isn't what it used to be. You'd be proud to see my mood swings, haha. They're a terrible, stretched thing, even if it doesn't have that often. Point is, I haven't had a partner in a year or so, and that should tell you enough.
I'll be waiting for that picture of Bubbles.
I'm not even gonna reopen the discussion of tails, or tainting you(though, for a second I was tempted to accept that hidden challenge you put in there. don't tempt me more.) The Shouto Todoroki. I can't stand your fucking ass right now.
Alright, diving into deep territory. You were talking about labels at the beginning of the letters, (i didn't touch that matter because my fuzzy brain couldn't work with it. still concussed, but whatever.) and I'd like to extract from that and say that the label of commitment, relationship, might be what is stabbing daggers into your back when it comes to it. I'm not saying I know better, and that you don't know what you're talking about. I would never claim that I know you better than you know yourself. Why the ever-loving fuck would I, when I haven't seen or talked to you in years. But. But, I can tell you what I've been reading from you, and while yes, I gathered that your zone of comfort is indeed, very limited in terms of space, of elasticity, I could also say you're capable of it just from the way you've evolved some things that I never thought you will. Your friendship with Shouto, for example, is one of them, and you can't tell me that it was a fluid thing. Not with how it started. You guys are a literal contrast, yet with some time, with some effort, you made a vast space for him in your life. Your relationship is not feeble, is not casual, and it has a type of commitment that doesn't need to be labeled. It's just there. And it's wonderful.
Of course, friendships and romantic relationships are totally, utterly different. But, they're both still a bond, so while you wrote it on your life's wall that you're not made for romantic whatsoever, I will take an impulsive guess and say you're just not prepared for it. To delve and decide that it doesn't need to be labeled, it doesn't need to be something big. It just needs to start slow, and develop, and it doesn't need to be stressed over. You never destroyed what you and Shouto have built together, and while ours is cracked beyond repair, I can say with confidence that it will never collapse. To tie it all off; we always evolve, for better or worse, don't write yourself off just yet. All your negatives will someday, possibly, transform into positives without even realizing. Or they will remain negatives, and they will be accepted, just like all the people in your life until now did.
But yea, we're heroes. I will not delve into the dangers of bonds in the guts of our careers. Villains have that twisted pleasure of always going for them, eh? I can safely say that I'm not beyond thinking that some bonds are merely impossible sometimes, after all, the majority of my relationships were with fellow Pro Heroes who could be put in harm's way without any doubts if anything were to ever happen in that way. It's not like most of them weren't a mess. Well. I really, really won't delve into this aspect.
(On a lighter note, know you will notice that I haven't talked about how a fan got into my house, but I think talking about my nonexistent sense of security or even the lack of concern over it will make you have some breakdowns that end up with you screaming bloody murder at me so... I will just. Say that I'm alright! I'm totally alright. And I will continue to be, because I'm me. :) )
I will once send you a magazine that wanted me just for the impressive number and size of my scars, and you will see just how covered in them I am, Kacchan. If I remember correctly, when I was still in Japan, only my hands and arms had them. Now... you could say that the only place that remained smooth might be my fucking ass and dick. Which is kind of hilarious, because for some reason, villains love to try and punch me in the crotch. Fucking perverts, some of them. Things is, I'm comfortable with how I am. It's visible that my body was never made for a Hero’s life(with my inherited quirk and all that), and I'm totally ok with that. I'm proving the world wrong, right? That's an accomplishment in itself.
One day I will develop a God complex just from people telling me I'm known for scaring villains off with just a look, and no one will be able to stop me then. Not that many can even now, anyway. Ha.
Now, after two hours of writing this mess of a letter, concussion-related breaks included, I can attempt my freak out over the fact that Aizawa is totally your fucking dad. Holy shit, Kacchan. Aizawa-sensei is your fucking dad. Alright, I might be too concussed to properly emulate the shit I'm feeling over this right now, b ut. BUT. The simple thought of you two going on weekly hangouts is so fucking adorable, my cheeks hurt from smiling. My whole chest hurts from smiling. I just imagine him questioning what you did all week, how was work, what villain you beat the shit out of. And now I’m manifesting the mental image of Aizawa-sensei coming to visit you with gifts for Bubbles.
It makes me remember the days where he was taking care of Eri. It's a sort of bittersweet nostalgia. I've heard so many great things about her. And I'm proud, and I miss those days, and at the same time, I'm so fucking happy. He helped her greatly, and I'm sure you feel the same way about your situation.
The conclusion of all this: Dad Aizawa for the win.
Now my fact: A year ago, I took on a mission where I had to infiltrate a prospering novice underground villain group that was starting to cause real problems so I could end it from within. My guilty confession to you will be: It kind of felt incredible to play the role of a villain for a bit. I might be a bit insane, Kacchan, because those days made me into a smug bastard who had twirled many around his finger, and I don't regret it even after all this time.
Don't get me wrong, my whole existence yearns for a Hero's life even after years of being a Pro Hero, but I can admit that it was a special type of experience, and that I'm really good at playing the bad guy.
... Alright, post-concussion Deku here. Maybe my nomination for most terrifying Hero of this generation is not so farfetched, now that I read the shit that I'm writing. Crazy shit.
Whatever. :D
With a laugh on his lips,
Deku