Chapter Text
Love of mine. Someday, you will die.
The wheels of Dick's Malibu crunched against the gravel road to the manner. The road was muddy from the recent bout of rain. When he reached the black gate connecting to the enormous stone wall he punched Alfred's key code in. As a teenager, when Bruce kicked him out of his home, Alfred had been the one to invite him back in and lend him a code that even the big bad bat wouldn't dare revoke.
His brothers would be there tonight before patrol. Alfred had declared tonight a family dinner. The secret laid heavy on his tongue caged behind his teeth. This would be their last family dinner. Or at least, the last time any of them would see Dick alive.
Before Dick went in he took a moment to reflect on what brought him to this moment.
~~~
The Titans were loosing. Dick cursed.
He wasn't even supposed to be on this mission. He swore he was done with the Titans, done with teams in general. He was 27 and it felt like it was finally time to start living his life for him. No more waiting at Bruce's beck and call. No more being the family sponge responsible for defusing everyone's neuroticism. And no more being responsible for other heroes.
Then again, he was always the type of man to put himself aside for other people so maybe from the get go he should have known he was lying to himself and this resolution wouldn't last.
Donna knew it too. No matter how many times they swear, this time, for real, no actually, they were done. When someone needed help, they would always say how?
Plus, it was Raven who'd shown up at his door in Blüdhaven at 2 in the morning. What was he supposed to do, shut it in her face? Raven who'd never asked for his help like this before. Raven who'd drove all the way from Jump. No, he couldn't turn her away. Donna would understand, she would have done the same whether she admits it or not.
Raven explain that a fallen one, Aërial was tying to escape. Which is bad for humanity and what not. But lucky humanity, the Titans are assembling to fight it. Even luckier apparently Dick's mother Mary was descended from a long line of Saphia which happen to be predestined to fight fallen ones. Yeah, humanity. Whooo.
"Dick, there's a reason Saphias tend to go into hiding. They're blood can be used to trap the fallen ones but it should only be used as a plan D. I can help you prepare for the ritual if it comes to that, but by Azerath I pray it doesn't."
"Then let's get started."
The battlefield was chaos. For many many reasons this was hell. Dick shortlist would be, the blood actually raining down from the sky, the crack in the Earth where the sky beam of fire was occurring, and the actual demons from hell that were attacking him and his teammates. It was time for plan D and he knew it.
"Donna, Vic, I need you to help me get to the center. I can stop this." His voice called out to his friends over the wrech of the world around them.
"No!" Donna cried out desperately.
"There isn't another way. Look around the world is burning." Dick hoped he sounded brave, really he just wanted to turn tail and run.
"Then let the world burn! What has it ever done for us? It doesn't always have to be you!" Her voice was furious and cracked with pain.
"I'm sorry Troy. This time it does. You're an Amazon, remember that. This is your duty. Now stand and fight with me." Finally, his voice had successfully mastered the commanding tone he was going for out of the sticky fear coated place in his gut. He really really didn't want to die.
"Damn you Grayson." She ran to him and wrapped him in such a tight embrace. For a moment there was no last stand, no war, violence, fear, or danger. The sound of Cyborg sonic cannons giving them cover was faded into obscurity and the blood could be humid tropical rain. The smells of burnt flesh and the choke of smoke, the screams of civilians who couldn't run fast enough, and the horror of the situation were no existent. There was only two childhood best friends and their love for each other.
Then the moment was over and the girl whispered to the boy who'd long become a man, "To the end?"
His voice full of promise, "To the end."
Then they whirled together a cyclone of blades and fury. Donna had an Athenian Xiphos named Niko and Dick had a bo staff he was using more like a spear. Stabbing, slashing, and wacking their way through the horde to the center of this monstrosity.
"Got my 6?"
Donna was once again Troya. Her voice was stiff but playful all the same, "like you'd even have to ask short pants."
"Hey Donna?" a pause was thick, "you are the best friend I've ever had."
"Hey scaly panties, shut up because you're coming out of this fine. Now do your thing. I've got your back."
Nightwing pulled out of his utility belt the sacred items Raven has given him before.
First he surrounded himself in a circle of grave dirt, then he placed a bowerbird's foot in the center, lit a sprig of scarlet sage, and held on in his left hand his mother's golden Robin brioche.
"Oh, Fallen one. Aërial. I come to you on this desecrated ground. I offer myself to you in body and mind. Come on this plane and make me your vessel. For my body shall be your place and my place shall be in your body. Come pledge with me and take what is yours."
Suddenly a beautiful lady walked out of the fire as it parted for her and towards Nightwing. She was one of the most beautiful people Dick or really any of them had ever seen. Garfield would remember later thinking she looked like a sad Angel. That there's no way she could be anything but celestial.
"You pledge yourself to me?" Her voice was melodic. Tempting in a way that almost compelled those around who heard it to argue "no. I pledge." "I pledge first." "Mistress forget him and choose me."
Donna had to stop herself from proclaiming that she would die for this stranger.
Grayson's voice put those feeling to rest with his "I do."
"Free of mind, body, and spirt you knowingly enter in this contract to be my representative on Earth. You submit your will and gift me your body on this day?"
"I do."
"Then be it for all to hear that Nightwing has gifted himself to Aërial for all eternity. That he entered this agreement of his own free will. It shall be sealed and it shall be done."
Drawing a blade from seemingly nowhere the enchanting woman first carved into his shoulders. Then his upper back and finally his heart. The blade burn against skin like acid. The feeling of dread and panic nestled its way up as if his very being was telling him to run. Run from the pain. Run from this Abomination. Run from it all.
When the beautiful woman was done mutating him she pulled him forward and kissed him.
He lips tasted like cigarette ash and pain. She bit into his lip, hard. Breaking skin and drawing blood. Then she disappeared. Looking down at the pit though a hideous woman crawled out with long fingers nails and pussing pockets of skin. She crawled on all fours with inhuman speed and disfigured joints straight into Dick's body.
It was on this day Dick learned being possessed hurt. Besides the burn of the ruins she carved into him, his body suddenly ached like he'd gone one too many rounds with Killer Crock and his head screamed like he was fighting Grodd.
Donna told him later when he woke up in the next bay after the hellspoon entered him he started seizing and his mouth foamed like a rabid dog choking on his own tongue.
"You tricked me." A voice in his head hissed vile and decrepit. "You fool, now we will both die. Your soul will poison me as I will poison your body until there's nothing left of us. Release me from these bindings while there's still time and I will spare you and your friends."
"Never. Remember? I promised my body will be your place. I just left the part out where my body will be your prison."
"How very brave Saphia. It's not fair though is it? You're youth wasted holding me in. Give me control. Give into me and you'll be free. No more pain or sacrifice. Just peace."
Dick imaged the voice materialize before him.
"You know what will happen as time goes on don't you? You'll burn out. You'll feel fine at first, then as it sets in all those bad feelings you keep locked up with come to the front, followed by an exhausting so deep with settle in your bones, your body will start to waste away, you're beauty gone, and those lovely, those are just the first symptoms. By the end a fever so hot your blood will boil your brain. Not to mention the intense pain you will be in."
She came forward and cradled Dick's check like a mother. "But I can save you from that. Just put me in the driver's seat and I'll tuck you away. I can protect you unlike the Bat who just used you and threw you away."
Her offer is so tempting. To have all his suffering whipped away and be no more. But then he thought of Damian, of Donna, of Jason and Tim, Wally, Cass, Babs, Stephanie, the Titans, Uncle Clark and Aunt Dianna, of Sam his favorite barista, and every other person counting on him right now.
"No." his voice was firm and as steady as a surgeon's hand.
"No?" Disbelief coated the demon's voice.
"No." His voice and heart were even more sure this time.
"You realize that's suicide!"
"No. It's sacrifice. There's a difference."
Then Dick imagine chains wrapping themselves around the fallen one. Thick manacles binding her wrists pulling her to her knees. Snake like binding curling their way around her body. A gag firm between her teeth.
Then darkness over took him and he woke in the Titan's med bay with Donna holding his hand.
~~~
But that was months ago and he needed to get his head on straight or else his family would see right through him. Dick can't let that happen. They would do something stupid trying to protect him and get hurt or worse accidentally free Aërial and this would be for not.
Before getting out the car Dick cranked up the heat. Lately he can't get warm. His fingers and toes always have a chill set in them. It doesn't matter how many pairs of socks he puts on, his toes are always cold.
His skin is starting to lose its olive hue too. For tonight he put dark foundation on his face, neck, and hands in an attempt to keep his brothers from asking questions.
Maybe he can convince them that Bruce is actually a vampire and bit him in his youth and the store was out of spray tan. Probably not though, even if he could Jason would just be pissed he didn't get bit too. "Golden boy always daddy's perfect solider."
Dick wishes he could explain to Jay that their the same just instead of trying to get Bruce's love by rebelling, Dick tries by doing everything right all the time. They both fail anyway so why are they each other's competition?
"Which is why you should kill Bruce. He never loved you. He can’t love you, never could. You are just so deeply unloveable." The wench in his brain whispered.
"Shut up." His inner voice boomed only to be rewarded with a migraine.
Fuck, get it in gear Grayson.
Dick pulled the keys from ignition and made his way inside.
Everyone was sitting and the dinning table which means he was more than late. Oh well. It's not for a lack of effort, it took him an hour and half to get up this morning. He tried, he really did. And he knew he needed to start getting ready about 25 minutes before he actually did. It's just so hard lately and all he wants is to sleep. Sleep is warm and quiet.
"So glad you can join us Goldie. I was beginning to think you forgot the way to Gotham. It's been months since you've been down here. We too posh for you now?"
"Harde har har Jason. You're just jealous because I have a real job. And you do what with your time? Flirt with Roy?"
"Do not." Jason mumbled into his mash potatoes.
"Do too." Damian grumbled.
"Timmy. How's things at Hudson?" Dick asked changing the subject, trying to avoid a fight.
"Good. My favorite class this term is the effects of metahumans on microeconomics with Henifer."
"Henifer is still there. He's got to be a thousand by now. Is he still a hard ass?"
"He was never a hard ass. You were just uninterested in being there."
"Touché."
Dick grabbed small portions. Nausea was a really bitch and when his head hurt it was always worse.
"Grayson?"
"Yeah Little D?"
"I have an art show coming up at school. Do you think you could make it?"
"I don't know Dami, I'll have to check my calendar and get back to you."
The rest of dinner was pleasant small talk. Alfred joined them at the table, sitting opposite the side Bruce normally did. Dick was so glad Bruce had some charity something or another to go to and wasn’t here. He think Alfred knew he was avoiding Bruce too since he waited until Bruce wouldn’t be at the manor to invite Dick. Bruce could be a hard person for Dick to be around on a good day. And since lately, there are no good days. It was definitely for the best.
"Hey it's time for patrol.” Jason said looking at his watch. “Bet I can make it to the cave before you losers." Jay sounded happy with just a hint of smug.
"Tsk. There's no way a weakling like yourself could ever out pace me Todd."
"Really? You're on." In a blink of an eye the three boys took off running.
"Master Dick, aren't you going to chase after them?"
"Nah Alfe. I already know I can beat them. No need to bruise their egos."
"Not in this state you could" the whispering continued.
"I said shut up!" His headache suddenly spiked.
"'Master Dick, are you alright?" his grandfather's voices was deep in concern.
"Aces."
This was the hard part. It's time to put on the performance of his life. "Hey Alf, I have a favor to ask."
"Anything Master Dick."
"Could you refit my Nightwing suit to fit Tim?
Surprise flashed across the old man's face and then was quickly covered. "Of course. Are you choosing a new identity?"
"Something like that" his voice trailed off.
When it picked up again Dick settled on these words, "Thank you. For everything." Dick wrapped his arms around his grandfather, surprising him twice in a row and gently squeeze.
When Dick broke away he went upstairs to his room and took the Flying Graysons poster off his wall and placed it gentry on Jason's bed with his R-Cycle (later refitted to the Wing-Cycle) keys and a note that read "Oh, dry the glistening tear that dues that marshal cheek. Thy loving childern here in them thy comfort seek. With sympathetic care their arms around the creep, For oh they can not bear to see their father weep."
Next he placed a note on Tim and Damian's bed. Turned heal and made his way out to his car. It was almost a quick escape too, except for the fact Damian caught him 5 feet before he made it to the safety of his car.
"You're leaving." His voice was accusatory.
"Yeah, you know how Blüd gets this time of night."
"You're a lier."
"Nothing gets past you does it my little Robin?" Dick rand his fingers down Damian’s face and hugged the closest thing he'd had to a son, choking the tears down his throat.
"I love you so much never forget that." Damian smelled like sandalwood and chamomile. Dick pressed his lips to Damian's forehead and for just a moment couldn't hold back the dam of feelings. Then pulling himself together and said, "go get ready with your brothers. You know Jason will leave you here given the chance."
Then he opened the car door and got in. Seatbelt on, put the keys in the ignition, the car in reverse, and drove away from his family. Feeling too in cowardly to offer them a last goodbye.