Chapter Text
It was as though the world had slowed. The muffled noise of shouting. Screaming. Wailing. Metal against metal, air being sliced. It was only then that he had realised he had fallen.
Fallen.
Laying in a pool of mud, staring at the grey sky. Ironic; ending right where he started from, born of dirt and suffering.
He was beginning to find it hard keeping his eyes open. Tired of fighting his body, he gave in, seeing nothing but blackness. The sound of his blood pounding in his ears gave a steady beat to focus on, the drone of the noise outside becoming quieter and quieter to him.
He felt his eyes become wet.
‘Am I dying?’
And there was no one there to even answer him that.
…
The war between remnants of Jun Wu’s forces and the rest of the heavens was always to be a bloody one.
Many lesser heavenly assistants had been indoctrinated by Jun Wu, and thus were outraged to the point of full blown riot by his entrapment in Mt Tonglu.The leader, Kai Chao, one of the very few middle court officials who turned to Jun Wu’s side organised the attack.
But the war should be easy. For who else is a match for the mighty martial gods, the civil gods and the upper court combined.
When it comes to war, despite these gods being undoubtedly strong, sometimes quantity really is the deciding factor to victory or failure. And Kai Chao used this to his advantage.
Kai Chao and the other heavenly assistants had gathered thousands upon thousands from the mortal realm to join their fight.
It was an unbelievable feat.
What the enemy lacked in individual technique or power, they made up for in sheer numbers.
The heavens were already in shambles, and with a lethargic flow of spiritual energy giving the gods almost less half of what they would usually have, a sense of impending doom hung heavy over their heads.
…
A humourless laugh sounded through the cool evening air, “I suppose this is that bastard's way of giving us a final parting gift huh? Even beyond the grave he's still creating bullshit problems.” Feng Xin muttered aloud, more to himself, but Mu Qing was to his right.
“Hmm” he hummed in response.
After some seconds Feng Xin finally looked up from where he was re-stringing his bow, having expected Mu Qing to respond with more than just a hmm.
Feng Xin eyed him quizzically from where he sat.
Mu Qing was standing, arms crossed in his dark sleeves, eyes fixed on the field.
A beautiful field, almost glowing with the light from the setting sun, soon to be filled with blood, pain and despair.
“Hey” Feng Xin said as he stood and walked over to Mu Qing.
“Mu Qing..?” he spoke cautiously, the other god’s eyes still fixed on the scenery in front of him.
The silence stretched, Feng Xin getting more and more confused at the others out of character behaviour.
Mu Qing took an audible breath, “I have a bad feeling” as he turned to look directly at Feng Xin.
Feng Xins breath caught almost imperceptibly, for he had never seen Mu Qing hold such an expression.
Mu Qing had always been unreadable to him, and to almost everyone else too. And though his expression was still unreadable, his eyes held something akin to, dare he say, vulnerability?
They held each other's gaze for a while.
Which in itself wasn't an odd thing for them to do. They would glare at each other from across the martial capital hall, when they'd spar, whenever they were together.
But the difference is, they were glaring. They held each other's eyes fueled with anger, aggression and competition. But this moment was unlike those before.
They were gazing. Neithers intent obvious, but it held neutrality. Or, maybe something different.
Mu Qing broke away first, wordlessly walking away toward his tent.
Feng Xin’s eyes trailed after him as he stood a little dumbfoundedly until he turned to look out at what would soon be a graveyard, trying to see what Mu Qing saw.
He sighed and sat back down, finishing stringing and cleaning his bow.
…
The roaring of soldiers got Feng Xins blood pumping. He was in command of a small unit on the east side, whereas Mu Qing was holding the west side of the battle ground.
Feng Xin was shooting arrow after arrow, having to work twice as hard due to only half the spiritual energy powering them.
Feng Xin stopped for a moment to catch his breath as he commanded his unit to cover him.
He glanced up to the sky, “tsk, rain” he muttered, as he reloaded his quiver and bow and began to kill and push the enemy back.
He didn't know how long the battle had been going on for but it must've been a while, especially with the field turning into a mud bath and his energy depleting.
He looked to his side to see Pei Ming ordering his Ming Guang palace officials to prepare for a sudden aggressive charge, Pei Xiu standing to his side. Ling Wen and her deputies were just behind them on the defensive, creating shield upon shield after they were broken with opposing force and powers.
Feng Xins side was doing well. Suspiciously so he thought.
He and his deputies were taking down enemy after enemy and no more were coming. Soon their section of battlefield was clearing, only bodies remained sinking into the mud beneath.
He saw Quan Yizhen and managed to trudge his way over.
Qi Ying was cutting the people down left, right and centre.
“Always so feral” Feng Xin commented to himself before yelling,
“QI YING! OVER HERE”
Quan Yizhen startled, cleanly finished off the last person in his immediate vicinity and made his way over.
“Nan Yang” he said, voice devoid of his usual enthusiastic tone. The continuing spray of rain had made his hair a huge frizzy mess. Under different circumstances, Feng Xin may have laughed.
“The east side is practically clear, the mid ground is stable with Pei ming. Im- there's no way we've beaten them this much already though” he stated, disbelief seeping through his voice.
“My thoughts are exactly, it's almost as though they've pulled troops away from the east” Quan Yizhen stated.
“I wonder if-” But Feng Xin was cut off as a horn sounded
Both whipped their head westward where the sound was coming from, they could just about make out a figure running to the middle, Pei Ming running to meet them halfway.
“I’ll go and see what's happening, you stay here”
Quan Yizhen quickly nodded.
Feng Xin made his way to them whilst hacking down those who got in his way with his secondary sword.
His eyes widened when he realised it was Lang Qingqiu.
Lang Qingqiu who was meant to be stationed west.
Mu Qing was also stationed west.
“WHATS GOING ON” Feng Xin shouted across
“THE WEST IS COMPENSATED, THEY AMBUSHED US, THEY FLANKED THE WESTERN UNITS, WE’RE BARELY HOLDING ON” Lang Qingqiu responded.
“Fuck, FUCK” Feng Xin said angrily has he made it to Pei Ming and Lang Qingqiu
“I've had reports they've even managed to secure a number of easily influenced lesser ghosts and spirits” Pei Ming reported.
Feng Xin couldnt believe what he was hearing, how could they be so stupid not to realise such an obvious plan.
“And Mu Qing, what of Mu Qing, why- hes- HES ON HIS OWN NOW?! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LEAVE HIM AND HIS UNIT WITH NO SUPPORT” Feng Xin exclaimed. Grabbing Lang Qingqiu by the front of his robes he continued “TELL ME GENERAL TAI HUA, WHY IS HE LEFT BY HIMSELF NOW-”
“NAN YANG” Pei Ming intervened, ripping Feng Xin from Lang Qingqiu who honestly looked like he was about to collapse any second.
“He-he told me to go- to warn, you all, I- he was insistent, I-”
“ARGH that fucking self sacrificing fucker, never fucking learns, hes always so-”
A blade whizzed past Feng Xins face.
The corpse of a ghost landed at his feet.
“FOCUS GENERAL! And you owe me one for saving your pretty face” Pei Ming said.
“YOU- oh shit” a swarm of ghosts were heading right toward them from enemy lines directly opposite.
“PEI XIU, GET TAI HUA BEHIND LING WEN” Pei Ming ordered.
“PEI I NEED TO GET TO MU QING” Feng Xin shouted over fighting off the ghosts.
“GO, FENG XIN, I CAN HANDLE THIS, GO, GO”
Feng Xin ran. His pounding seeing the amount of people and ghosts the further west he went.
Even more alarming was how the floor had become a complete mud bath.
He was fighting his way through, hacking and slashing, almost Yizhen style until he felt something sending him to the floor.
A hand with an iron grip held his ankle.
“GET OFF, GET THE FUCK OFF ARGH” he yelled finally manging to slice it.
‘I have to get up, I have to get up’ he repeated to himself. The effort it took was immense. There was fighting happening all above and around him. The mud was making it impossible to move, he kept slipping every time, further draining his energy.
He channelled his limited spiritual power to give him strength and he was finally on two feet, stumbling forwards trying to get his bearings.
“MU QING” he shouted, continuing to lethargically strike his sword around.
MU QING”
He was looking out for dark, cool coloured robes, bright silver armour, long black hair, a mighty sabre flying through the air. But there was nothing.
“Shit, shit, where are you, where are y-you, Mu Qing” he said, panicking now, as rain ran down his face. His mud soaked clothes weighing him down.
Whilst briefly lost in his mind he hadn't noticed the sword coming to his right.
He was a second too late to notice that he wasn't able to flawlessly dodge and his right side was sliced.
He tried to muffle a groan of burning pain as his hand came to grip his side and his other swung at the enemy.
‘I have to keep going, I have to, I have to’ he kept repeating to himself in his mind.
Feng Xin knew Mu Qing was strong- they both were practically the same in strength, and in any other situation Feng Xin would not be worried.
Worried.
He was worried? For someone he had been at odds against for over 800 years…
Under these circumstances of environment conditions, little spiritual power and sheer numbers of enemies, Feng Xin was panicking, no one alone could come out of a situation like this unscathed.
With some renewed vigour he began to run, or run as well as he could, stumbling as his feet would immediately start to sink the second they were put on to the ground.
“MU QING” he began shouting once again, his voice hoarse.
‘Mu Qing, can you hear me? Hello? Mu Qing, where are you?’ he spoke hurriedly into their communication array.
But there was no response.
“Shit, fuck this, i-” he spoke aloud, teeth chattering from the coldness of the rain, still weaving and slicing through the complete chaos around him.
He was looking to the ground until a familiar glint of silver caught his eye.
Although the object was half buried in mud, he would recognise it anywhere- Mu Qings beloved hair guan- tsk of course he cared about looking good when fighting.
He moved his eyes until he saw a form sprawled on the ground. From this distance no one could tell who it was, but Feng Xin could recognise Mu Qing by his mere shadow.
…
The sky had grown dark by the time Feng Xin was finished with preparing his weapons for the battle tomorrow.
He looked to the stars and sighed
“I hope our fate is to be a victorious one”.
Making his way to his tent he passed Mu Qings (which was very close to his own, typical).
He was surprised to see candles still lit and the silhouette of the man not standing or sitting on a chair, but instead knelt on the floor.
“What is he doing?” Feng Xin whispered.
Truthfully Feng Xins nerves had begun to heighten with the growing night, unusual for him, but this was to be an unusual battle afterall, so more apprehension was to be expected.
He wanted something to ease his mind, some company perhaps.
‘Pfttt Mu Qing as company? And no less would he want to see me either’
‘But I could go in to see? The worst he’ll do is just kick me out- but then I don't-’
“Feng Xin, I know you're out there, come in or leave”
Feng Xin froze, then lifted the tent door and with an awkward cough entered.
“Dumbass” Mu Qing said, rolling his eyes.
“HEY I-” but Feng Xin cut himself short when he looked down to see what Mu Qing had in his hands, it was a needle and thread.
“Oh, uh, what are you doing?” Feng Xin spoke rather awkwardly.
“Well esteemed General Ju Yang, this is a needle, and this is thread its commonly used for something called sewing-”
“You little shit I’m not dumb” he said irritably.
He took a moment to think, or perhaps not to think at all, as against all better judgement he huffed and sat down in front of Mu Qing.
“H-HEY?! What the hell do you think you're doing?! Making yourself at home in MY tent?!!” Mu Qing exclaimed, caught off guard.
Feng Xin masterfully ignored him, “Whatcha sewing then?”
Mu Qing looked at him and blinked, “Im embroidering” he said finally, rolling his eyes as per usual.
“Embroidering what?” Feng Xin asked
Mu Qing looked up, “Gods you're like a child. It's a ribbon”
“I like the thread, the gold and silver, it's uh nice” Feng Xin attempted to compliment.
“Yeah?” Mu Qing said evenly, eyes averted back to his work.
“Yeah” Feng Xin responded.
A silence stretched between them.
Feng Xin sat crossed legged, and without warning found his eyes drifting to focus on Mu Qing.
The way deft hands pulled the needle through the ribbon; the way the flickering candle light added warmth to his dark hair. He had always been good at things that required patience and delicacy.
Feng Xin supposed things had changed after Mt Tonglu, for Mu Qing would have not of liked to let Feng Xin sit here observing him sew, especially with how much weight and memories the action of sewing had.
Mu Qing looked up, and pulled a puzzled expression.
Feng Xin cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, “Ahem, well I’d better get going” standing up.
Mu Qing also stood and moved to place his embroidery down.
Feng Xin stood in the doorway, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning then. Goodnight”
Mu Qing turned to look him directly in the eyes, “Goodnight Feng Xin”.
And Feng Xin left.
As Feng Xin settled into his own tent, he realised something. Mu Qing never asked why he was here, what he wanted. He just let him stay. A small voice told him maybe Mu Qing had wanted the company as much as he did.
And with that fleeting thought, he drifted off into rest.
…
Feng Xins eyes widened as he rushed towards him, wildly swinging at oncoming spirits and ghosts.
“GET OUT THE WAY” he yelled ferally, eyes only locked on to Mu Qing. And the ghost standing over him.
“MU QING” he yelled.
He was suddenly pushed and sent falling heavily to the ground, looking up just in time to see a ghost sword plunged into the other man's gut.
Feng Xin couldn't breathe.
He was shaking as he attempted to crawl his way to standing whilst repeatedly getting knocked down and practically stomped on.
He made it over, and that ghost was gone.
He slumped to his knees next to the man.
The man's face was covered in blood and mud, Feng Xin reached out to desperately wipe it away but found he only ended up smearing it.
“Hey come on, open your eyes”
“Mu Qing?”
His eyes trailed the rest of his mud and blood soaked body.
“Mu Qing? Mu Qing? MU QING? MU QING MU QING”
Feng Xin was shaking violently, his voice cracking with every repeat of Mu Qings name.
He grabbed Mu Qing by the back and cradled his head on his lap.
His frenzied shouts turned into hysterical laughs which soon turned into agonised cries.
He hardly recognised himself. He could hardly believe it was happening again, Mu Qing at Death's door.
He could sense something behind him, but he did not have the motivation, nor the energy to defend himself.
He closed his eyes and almost immediately shot them open again after hearing a pained screech from behind, and slowly turned to see a corpse at the feet of an image clad in white.
“Xi-Xie Lian?” He voiced in an almost whisper.
“Feng Xin!!” Xie Lian said eyebrows knitted, “OH GODS” he exclaimed after seeing what Feng Xin held in his arms.
“I can’t help him,” Feng Xin hopelessly choked out.
Xie Lian stood there, in pure shock seeing his two lifelong friends in front of him in such a situation.
He blinked hard, forcing himself out of his state, “C-come on, Come on, we need to get you behind Ling Wens lines, can you do that?
No response.
Xie Lian grabbed Feng Xins shoulder and shook, “Feng Xin? Feng Xin!??”
Then finally Feng Xin slowly nodded, as though processing such information took several minutes.
Xie Lian, as skilled as he was, still struggled with the enemies surrounding them, but managed to keep a clear path as Feng Xin carried Mu Qing on his back.
Eerily reminiscent of a time not long ago.
…
“Did… Mu Qing Fall?”
It was then, that however much they fought, however much they physically and emotionally hurt each other, however much they supposedly ‘hated’ each other, Feng Xin was scared, truly scared.
To suddenly lose something that had almost been a constant at his side for 800 years?
He had felt a numbness, a horrible empty feeling begin to course through his veins.
…
Mu Qing could just about tell he was slipping in and out of consciousness.
‘Huh I really fucked up this time’ he thought.
He felt as though he was underwater, sinking deeper and deeper and deeper into the void.
Until he felt a blinding pain in his gut. He wanted to scream.
He Needed to scream desperately.
The searing pain too much. Too much.
He couldn't take another breath, his lungs were burning.
…
“GENERALS REGROUP AND RETREAT, WE CANNOT HOLD ON”
Pei Mings voice boomed across the battlefield.
Ling Wen and her officials had been busy drawing an array to send them back up to the heavens.
The Generals of each division and their surviving troops were gathering around the array.
“WE NEED EVERYONE TO PUT IN THEIR SPIRITUAL POWER TO MAKE THIS SEND ALL OF US UP” Ling Wen shouted to everyone.
The enemy and ghost were beginning to pick up speed making their way towards the array; the shields put up would not hold for much longer.
“EVERYONE GET IN”
“Feng Xin here!! Put Mu Qing down” Xie Lian hurriedly spoke.
Feng Xin, amidst the chaos and hurry, slowly and carefully laid the half dead man to the floor.
Once everyone was in, Ling Wen started the activation, as one by one, everyone began to feed in some of their spiritual energy.
The array was lighting but flickering, incredibly unstable.
“Shit SHIT” Pei Ming explained, “This isn't enough!!!”
Feng Xin gave one last looked to Mu Qing and in a daze like state, limped over to Xie Lian,
“See he gets help immediately. Please” he said solemnly.
Xie Lian turned after hearing that voice,
“Feng Xin?”
But it was hard to see through the chaos, the panicking crowd. He could just about see Feng Xin walking away.
“FENG XIN!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING COME BACK!” he yelled trying to push his way through to grab him.
But it was at that moment the shields broke.
“THE SHIELDS ARE DOWN, THE SHIELDS ARE DOWN” Quan Yizhen shouted.
“LING WEN” Pei Ming said, his panic in the eyes of everyone else around him.
“I- I- WE-” Ling Wen stuttered.
Was this it?
Was this how the heavens met such an end?
The enemy was close, so close now. The screeching and wailing getting louder, more aggressive.
Until the ground shook suddenly
The array lit up. Brighter than ever.
And all those looked to where they sensed the source of energy coming from.
Feng Xin.
He had stepped some metres out of the circle and was currently using every ounce of his strength and energy into powering this.
“Oh gods” Ling wen whispered , shocked.
N-NO NAN YANG, FENG XIN, NO” Pei Ming shouted.
“FENG XIN PLEASE, FENG XIN NO PLEASE DONT FENG XIN” Xie Lian sobbed helplessly. Now crouched by Mu Qings body.
Everyone was wide eyed and shocked.
Feng Xin somehow managed to hold a watery smile as he tried to ignore the shouts and pleas for him to stop. But he had to get everyone to safety. Especially Mu Qing. Either they all died, or he could try and finally be successful in his life.
Next thing he knew, the array, and everyone within it, disappeared. Their pleading expressions scarred into his mind.
He took a breath, swaying as he turned around to face hundreds upon hundreds of ghosts and people.
‘Ironic’ he thought, ‘I call Mu Qing the self sacrificing bastard, but look where I am’
He choked out a laugh, “Shit” he said weakly before his vision darkened and he fell to the ground.
…
Light.
It was light and warm Mu Qing realised after fighting to open his eyes.
It took some time to process where he was, but he realised he was lying in a bed, in a room with a large window to the left decorated with flowing white curtains.
He heard some noise to the right and slowly turned his head,
“Mu Qing!!” Xie Lian rushed in at the sight of Mu Qing eyes open.
“Mu Qing, how are you feeling?”
Mu Qing could only look at him wide eyed.
“Mu Qing? We’re in the heavenly capital right now. Do you- do you remember what happened” He asked in his soft voice.
At that line of question Mu Qing averted his eyes.
He remembered- remembered lying on a field of mud, surrounding by darkness, a searing pain in his gut, a pain so unimaginable it-
“MU QING!? Come back to me. Mu Qing, it's okay you're safe, come back!” He heard Xie Lian say, starting to panic, taking one of Mu Qings hands.
Mu Qing hadn't realised he had been shaking violently, eyebrows knit together.
“D-dianxia” he, with much effort, managed to whisper, before falling back into unconsciousness.
Some time later he awoke again, feeling a lot better than he had done before. So much so that he was able to sit up in bed with ease, and combed through his hair with his fingers.
SMASH
His head whipped to the direction the sound came from to see Xie Lian frozen in the doorway, a glass smashed on the ground by his feet.
Before he knew it, Xie Lian was running over and pulled Mu Qing into a hug.
Mu Qing startled, “Uh- Dianxia, Xie Lian wha-”
Xie Lian pulled away, “You- You're awake, you're actually awake” he said with relief and happiness lacing his voice as he pulled a soft smile.
Mu Qing blinked, “I- explain everything… please” he added weakly.
Xie Lian took a deep breath.
“It's been five weeks since you last awoke, and seven in total since the battle.”
Mu Qing blanched, opening his mouth to say something but Xie Lian beat him to it.
“We lost. The battle I mean. I'm not sure how much you remember but they flanked us from the west. Lang Qingqiu has recovered. The palace of Ling Wen has been trying to organise the heavens, as has Pei Ming. Pei Xiu and Qi Ying have been put in charge of the troops.
Mu Qing was trying to take all this information in.
So we lost huh he thought, typical.
With Xie Lian listing off all these names, Mu Qing couldn't help but realise an important one was missing.
He interrupted Xie Lian, “-And Feng Xin”
“H-huh?”
“Feng Xin. Nan Yang, Ju Yang, more muscle than brain” Mu Qing slowly stood from sitting on the bed and huffed “once I get my hands on him”
Mu Qing turned to look him in the face at the silence.
“What is it? Xie Lian, where's Feng Xin?”
Xie Lian stood, “I- Mu Qing he’s, he’s-”
Mu Qing froze, “He’s where?” he said through gritted teeth.
Xie Lian’s eyes became shiny, “Mu Qing” he started in a soft tone, “We were surrounded by the enemy. We had to activate an array to retreat, but we did not have enough spiritual power-”
“And?!” The other snapped, “what's that got to do with where Feng Xin is?”
“He didn't come with us” Xie Lian choked out, “He told me to get you help and then exited the array vicinity” He paused, Mu Qings expression unreadable.
“He then- he used all of his remaining spiritual energy to power it and send us to safety”
Tears began to slip from Xie Lians eyes, “ We scouted the area some days later and have been for weeks but- nothing, Mu Qing-”
Mu Qing was laughing, but not with humour “THAT BASTARD THAT FUCKING IDIOT, WHY?! WHY IS HE SO STUPID?!?” he shouted angrily to himself, head tilted to the ceiling.
Xie Lian began to move toward him, “Mu Qing-” he said weakly.
“No” he replied, throwing his hand out to distance them, “He's not dead. You say you haven't found him right? But you haven't found a body either?”
“I- well uh no; but if you saw what it was lik-”
“Then he's fine. He's somewhere. It's fine. He's probably purposely being difficult, just for me I assume- I’ll have to go get him myself” He said irritatedly, as if this was a normal situation of him and Feng Xin fighting.
“Mu Qing it's been weeks”
“So you don't think he's strong enough?”
“That's not what I- actually yes, yes at that time he was not strong enough, none of us were, none of us ARE, You’ve just woken up from weeks of unconsciousness and a stab to the gut!!!”
Mu Qing was a little taken aback at the outburst.
He sighed, “I'm going to find him, I’m sorry Xie Lian”
Xie Lian too, sighed and walked to leave but just before he walked through the door he stopped, “I can't change your mind can I? Just- you, you promise me one thing, you come back too” and with that he left.
Mu Qing caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and so turned to really look.
“Ugh what a state” he muttered to himself.
He was dressed in simple white robes, his hair loose down his back. His skin a sickly pale colour, his eyes dark. His eyes trailed his body, seeing faint remnants of cuts and bruises.
In ordinary circumstances such injuries would be completely healed within a week with an unlimited flow of spiritual power.
He parted his robes to check his torso, only to see a scar running down the centre of his abdomen.
And just like that, he was once again back in the void. It was cold, freezing even. He was falling deeper and deeper, a feeling of terror seized him, crushed his lungs, his entire body.
He sharply inhaled.
He was back in his room.
He stood dazed and proceeded to lay back on the bed.
‘Why does that keep happening…’
‘I'll come get you tomorrow you dumbass’ he thought before drifting off.