Chapter Text
Morning sunlight had scarcely tinted the sky when King Dedede jolted out of sleep, gasping for air as he sat upright in bed. His racing heart pounded frantically against his chest and his vision was blurred, the dimmed colors of his bedroom watery and distorted. The fog of his dreams dispersed like vapor, and what remained left him feeling unsettled, displaced.
Dedede blinked the clouds out of his eyes. It must have been a bad dream, although it was strange that he couldn’t seem to recall it… He gave a yawn, stretching lazily.
Maybe he ought to go check on the Fountain. Though he knew that its magic couldn’t keep the worst nightmares away, it would put him at ease to see its waters shimmering.
The shadows of his room took unfamiliar shapes in the gloom of dawn, warped shades clinging like twining ivy to the walls. King Dedede yawned and rubbed his eyes again, seriously debating on whether or not he should go back to sleep. He sat slumped on his bed for a few more moments, before he sighed, drew back the covers and hopped out, switching on his lamp as he went.
Yawning again, he wandered into his closet and flicked on the light, trying to remember what was on his agenda today. He recalled that some school children were hosting a bake sale later in the week (the young ones, meaning the bakers in question were their mothers and their lovely desserts), although the specific time escaped him. He could ask Bandana about it when he saw him, because for now he had to get dressed. Or, er, try to.
Dedede frowned, eyes widening with bafflement as he took in the state of his wardrobe.
Where… Where were all of his clothes? Dedede sifted past identical coat after identical coat, jaw lax with disbelief. His costumes, his kimonos, his obi, even that horribly tacky Bronto Burt shirt Meta had given him last April, all of it was missing…
Could it be that they were getting washed? He frowned. No, that was silly. He’d worn formal wear once in the past week, and that alone was definitely not enough to constitute dry cleaning his whole wardrobe. He reached forward and began to rifle through the racks of clothes.
Sashes, sweatbands, mittens- Were those socks? Why would he have those? He doesn’t even wear shoes! And the material was so cheap too…
Just when things couldn’t get any weirder, he pulled out a sequined blue tux, and grimaced at the horrendous thing.
When did he get this? The color was awful, and it was covered in stains! He inspected it closer. The bow tie was sewn into the collar and the flower tucked into the chest pocket was fake. It looked like a Halloween costume.
What the...
Something was going on here. A practical joke? Did someone break into his room? No, he didn’t think that was it. Unless it was Magolor or Marx, Dedede would’ve woken up. Did he accidentally spend the night in his old room? Maybe, but that wouldn’t explain the travesty that was this closet. His stomach flopped, and confusion weighed heavy in his gut.
What is going on?
Dedede tossed the suit jacket to the floor and yanked off his nightshirt and cap. No tank-top, no kimono, no obi, oh Nova, what was he going to wear? He was missing everything! Sighing frustratedly, he grabbed one of the sweatbands folded beneath the racks and a red coat and tugged them on. They were loose on him without his usual extra layers, but this would have to do while he figured things out.
Now then, where was his crown? Dedede rifled through the various drawers, snooped through all of the cubbyholes and found nothing he recalled ever owning. Seriously, when did he ever buy a bacon-themed baseball cap?
(He definitely had a clown hat that was identical to the one in the next box over, but for some reason that disturbed him more than it would have if it hadn’t been there at all.)
The king threw up his hands and left the wardrobe, marching to the window to throw open the thick red curtains. He squinted as the dawn tried to blind him, and as he lifted up the sash, he became acutely aware of the breeze against his feathered head. The sun had begun to crest the horizon, pouring golden light into the gloom and chasing the shadows from the room. Shapes that were once unrecognizable in the dark were now discernible, and really, at this point, Dedede shouldn’t have been surprised by what he saw.
He gave a low whistle at the state of the room.
First of all, it was a mess. Candy wrappers, chinese takeout boxes, ramen cups and the like littered the room. A massive TV dominated the far wall in front of a duo of beanbags. A gaming console that looked like an NES rip-off sat on top of the TV stand, with two controllers laying haphazardly on the floor in front of them. Shoved into the corner of the room was an old rocking horse, similar to one that he faintly recalled from his childhood. Beside it was a large multicolored beach ball and an overflowing toy chest.
He must be in the bedroom of a big, spoiled child, because there was no way in Halcandra that this was his room.
Right?
Dear Nova, please tell me I wasn’t sent back in time.
There wasn’t much that he remembered of his childhood, other than being given whatever he wanted so he’d leave his parents alone. So this? This was ultra, mega, turbo speed right down Traumatic Memory Lane and he was not diggin’ it.
King Dedede became dimly aware that he was breathing a little too fast, and quickly leaned against the window sill to support himself. His head was starting to throb, a mix of panic and dread as he turned over the idea in his mind. He forced himself to take deep breaths and count Brontos.
He turned up his chin and took a deep whiff of the morning ocean air. He was fine. He could manage this. After about 23 Brontos, Dedede opened his eyes and gazed out into the land. It looked… smaller. Wilder. The sight of the rural town in the distance made his shoulders droop and his chest squeeze tight. He really must have been sent back in time. It had been ages since the cities in Dreamland were ever this small, nor his castle so close to the sea. Nova, he barely recognized the whole place.
He turned his gaze to the castle courtyard, noting the sparse and simple landscaping, the waddle dee guards changing shifts, and nesting birds twittering on the parapets. Dedede eventually found his turque, and felt a bit dumb for not checking his nightstand a bit sooner. Although, now that he held it in his hands, he may as well just call it a hat, seeing as it was made of cloth and plastic rather than gold.
Even his poor crown was replaced with a childish recreation. Though, the big question was why everything still managed to be more-or-less his size… Time travel definitely didn’t work like that.
But until more tells revealed themselves, Dedede wasn’t going to make any assumptions. It was time to do it like Kirby and suck it up. He tugged the hat (he refused to call this thing a crown) on his head and returned to staring broodingly out the window, not really seeing the beautiful landscape before him.
Too many thoughts and questions were running rampant throughout his mind right now. There were a few that burned brighter than the rest, emblazoned in his mind like an addiction.
Am I alone here?
How can I go back?
Will they even notice that I’m gone?
—
The sun rose steadily from behind Dreamland’s grassy rolling hills, sending a cascade of light billowing across the patchwork landscape of crops and flowers. For the longest time, he leaned with his head in his arms, enjoying the breeze. It was warm, a bit muggier than he was used to. He last remembered waking up to the middle of Autumn just yesterday, but it seems time had shifted to somewhere around early Summer.
Glancing away, he wondered what time period he must have been transported to. It must not have been too far back, seeing as everything he had here fit, and that he woke up in an actual bedroom instead of the nursery he spent his formative years. Considering his possession of the crown (however cheap it was), it was safe to assume that his parents were already out of the picture.
Oof, that was a sad thought...
Dedede sighed, taking in the scenery once more. That pervading feeling of wrongness still hadn’t left him, sticky and heavy in his throat, his feathers shuddering with false chills and gooseflesh. Rubbing his arms, he sighed again.
Knock, knock, knock.
Well, chills be damned, that nearly gave him a heart attack.
“Your Majesty~! Wakey wakey! Breakfast is ready!” The unfamiliar voice was nasally and cheerful, and Dedede had to smoothen down the feathers that fluffed up from surprise. At his startled silence, the knocking came again, whiny this time. “Siiire, are you awake?”
Ugh. That must be either a butler or personal assistant to the king in this world. He recalled occasionally asking Bandana Dee to arrange a wake-up call for early morning meetings every now and again. Dedede took a slow breath and cleared his throat.
“Who is it?” A pause. Shit, that was definitely the wrong question to lead with, he should know these people after all. Idiot!
“Er… it’s me, Escargoon?” The voice answered, sounding a bit confused.
You and me both pal. Dedede wracked his memories for anyone by that name. It sounded only the faintest bit familiar, but not enough to conjure anything more than an inkling.
“Oh yeah! Come in!”
The door clicked open behind Dedede, and the king turned to see a purple snail with dull green facial hair and a deep green shell roll in a trolley laden heavily with food. The scent of bacon and pancakes filled the air, the greasy taste nearly tangible with a single whiff. Dedede’s stomach gave a curious gurgle, but he was too busy staring at the odd creature to pay it close attention.
At his studious look, the snail gave him an uneasy, and very worried, smile.
“Y-you… didn’t forget me again, did you, Sire?” The snail — Escargoon — looked very panicked when he didn’t answer right away and kept staring. Or, well, at all. Dedede didn’t want to lie to the stranger, but telling the truth seemed like almost the worst option, considering the poor guy looked ready to book it out of his shell. Instead, he ignored the question.
“Ooh, what’s for brekkie?” The king exclaimed brightly, clasping his mitts together, “Smells scrump-tee-umptious!” The snail blinked, then half-smiled.
“W-well, it’s pancakes, eggs, and bacon, Sire. Just like every other day.”
The idea made him pause. Gross!
“Well, it smells divine! Set it up on the balcony, would you please?” Dedede gave a hearty laugh as he waved his mittens at the snail. The snail hesitated for a split second, but when Dedede kept waving at him, he hurried to do as he was told.
The king’s eyes narrowed as the snail bustled past him and started arranging his breakfast on the tea table on the balcony. He knows for certain that he hasn’t seen that snail before. Probably. At most, maybe in passing, but nothing that jogged his current memory.
“Say, Escargoon? What’s the date today?”
“It’s the 26th, Sire. Of January.”
It’s not, according to what he remembered. And the weather, the ground was usually covered in snow by now, but it was as hot and humid as the Rainbow Resort, so that could mean…
“And the year?” Escargoon turned slightly, a confused look on his face. Dedede quickly schooled his expression to innocent curiosity.
“It’s erm…” the snail turned back to the table, “...it’s 5XXX, Sire.”
Inwardly, Dedede grimaced.
It was the same year.
Time travel was off the table then. He was in another world altogether, a whole new alternate dimension/reality/whatever, and, currently, was all on his lonesome. That would be well and fine if he had even an inkling on how he got here. Just his luck that he would happen to sleep through the whole boot-scoot-and-boogie, and end up with no leads. He only hoped his friends would figure out what happened like he had, and would take care of Dreamland while he was gone. The very thought of his kingdom in disarray was giving him a horrible headache.
He wondered if some of them had gotten swapped here with him. He’d have to rule that out as soon as-
“-okay?” Dedede blinked out of his thoughts, suddenly realizing that Escargoon had been speaking to him.
“Eh, sorry, what was that?” He asked, blinking innocently. Escargoon looked perplexed.
“I asked if you were okay…” The snail’s sharp green eyes looked him up and down, “Are you okay, Sire?”
The suspicion in Escargoon’s nasally voice made the king’s stomach roil uncomfortably and he forced down a swallow. He needed to get out of this world, and fast. Problem was, he had no idea where to start. He was no genius like Meta Knight and Susie, wasn’t a superpowered freak like Kirby and Magolor, by all means he was just a regular guy. An amazing, wonderful, incredible guy, sure, but just a guy nonetheless. How in the name of Nova was he supposed to get back?
“Just dandy!” Dedede lied with a grin as he hurriedly sat in the balcony chair. While he loaded his plate with food and set a napkin in his lap, he peered at Escargoon out of the corner of his eye. The purple snail flinched when their eyes met and looked away. Odd. Cutting his food in evenly-sized chunks, Dedede piped up again, “So, what’s on the agenda today?”
If he was going to be stuck here for Nova knows how long, he should keep the truth of his identity underwraps until he got all the information he could. That would mean he would have to take his doppelgänger’s place, and hope no one would find out. Dedede sighed quietly to himself, glancing at the suddenly silent snail.
Escargoon seemed enraptured with watching him eat, which was a creepy thought in itself without the snail’s awestruck expression added. Dedede had a feeling he was already well on his way to being found out, especially if everyone acted as suspicious of him as the purple servant. He was no actor, and pretending otherwise would be a useless effort. Might as well reap the benefits of being a doppelgänger until he was revealed a fraud. After repeating his question, louder this time, Escargoon snapped back to reality.
“Er… well, sorry Your Majesty… I was just surprised to see ya usin’ your napkin is all! Hehe…”
“Really…”
The snail looked at a loss for words, clearly struggling to grasp the situation as he politely chuckled off his nerves. It would probably be good if he avoided the Other Dedede’s right hand man as much as possible, at least without being suspicious. Only… it was starting to look like the two of them spent every waking moment attached at the hip. King Dedede had already made a handful of other tentative assumptions about this place and its people, though it wasn’t like it was hard. He barely knew a thing about the king he was replacing, although it was clear their dispositions were wildly different.
He could still recall the depressing early years of his rule and the cruel, yet thankfully lazy, tyrant he’d become in the wake of his parents’ death. It was astonishing the Dees even stuck with him during that time, but he wasn’t complaining now. He only hoped the situation here was at least similar. Judging by the small, orange guards marching on the walls, he would bet that it was. Dedede gently dabbed at his beak with a napkin and cleared his throat to get the snail’s attention again.
“How about this; what do I usually do every day?” The king offered with a placating smile. A myriad of emotions have been running across Escargoon’s malleable and expressive face since Dedede first greeted him, but the one most distinguishable right now was confusion.
“You… do whatever you want?” Perfect. With a harrumph, Dedede pushed his mostly empty plate away for the maids to clean and moved from the table. Heaving a satisfied sigh, he fixed Escargoon with a bright smile.
“Well! Let’s take a walk, yeah?” The king suggested cheerily, already marching off towards his bedroom doors. Idly, Dedede wondered what the other Dedede was like. The one that actually owned this castle, who knew this kindly purple snail, and how he was doing living in his Dreamland. Judging by his room, and the reaction of his attendant, King Dedede could assume that the Other Dedede either had a preference for childish things, or was generally immature. He winced at the thought, mumbled to Escargoon to inform the nearest waddle dee to clean up his disaster of a bedroom, and prayed to Nova that he could find a way to right this mishap soon.
If there was a single brick out of place when he got home…
When he turned again to look back into his room, Dedede found Escargoon staring after him. “Aren’t ya coming?” The penguin asked, an eyebrow raised. The purple servant gulped but continued to look apprehensive, until he finally slithered to where Dedede waited, head canted low and eyes thinning with suspicion.
Well, here goes nothing.
The King of Dreamland held back another sigh and closed his bedroom doors behind the two of them.