Chapter Text
Since Maria’s return from the snap in the last three months things were nothing but pure chaos and overwhelming in every aspect of her life. She couldn’t even try to focus or grasp everything that happened. Right now she was still stuck in a grieving period from learning about Natasha. It seemed like ‘old news’ to everyone else and she never talked about it. Instead, she laid awake in that lingering state of insomnia and never ending exhaustion.
It was some overtired state that compelled Maria’s brain to conjure up a scenario and once she was there, she couldn’t leave. She was sitting a bar, in a corner booth. The bar was empty, not another person around but you could still hear light bustling like people were there. It was warmly lit and the wooden booths had a light oak wood color. Maria looked around confused for a moment. In reality, she wouldn’t mind sitting in a bar right now, so she guessed that’s why she was here.
Suddenly Natasha showed up, Maria was a mix of shocked and unsurprised. Natasha was sitting across from her, casually, in the cool relaxed way Natasha always sat. Natasha’s hair was a rich red, it was was long, a little unruly but in an ‘out running errands’ type of vibe. Natasha didn’t look surpassed to be there at all.
“You’re late.” Maria said a bit annoyed. Even in her mind she had to wait for Natasha to show up. This was the first thing Maria said to Natasha? Seriously?
“This one is on you.” Natasha smirked as it quite literally was and Maria laughed.
“Hill! How’s life?” Natasha joked with a little play on words or play on the situation.
“I don’t know. Chaotic, overwhelming, louder than I remembered it?” Maria mumbled.
“I guess it’s okay though.” Maria shrugged.
“How is death?” Maria in the same tone as Natasha joked.
“After the initial shock and fear of it, it’s not so bad. Surprisingly warm. I don’t have to tell you, though.” Natasha smirked and Maria looked a little glum.
“Yeah, I guess it’s not so bad when you can’t think about it anymore.” Maria mumbled to herself.
“Debbie downer over here, yikes.” Natasha took a sip of her beer and even though she drank from the mug the amount of beer in her cup stayed the same.
“Oh, bottomless, nice!” Natasha held up her beer mug to cheer hers with Maria’s but Maria didn’t hold hers up.
“You are going to leave me hanging, seriously, Hill?” Natasha asked stunned. Natasha was so full of life and energetic, she just glowed from the joy of being here in this bar alone with Maria.
“You can’t cheer if you take a sip first, it’s bad luck.” Maria cautioned.
“You think my luck is going to get worse?” Natasha couldn’t help but laugh, but Maria looked serious.
“Fine.” Natasha said she slid the beer glass across the table and it fell off the edge, onto the ground it didn’t crash or break and a new one appeared immediately appeared on the table.
“Wow! I love this place. Talk about the Avenger we always needed. Come to Hill’s brain where there’s no mess and never ending drinks. And when you sit with someone at bar you can actually hear them talk and it’s not too hot or too cold, and the lighting is just right, a warm dim-y glow.” Natasha held her beer up again and this time Maria did cheer her before they both took a drink but neither of their cups lost any beer. It could be great up in Maria’s head if she wanted it to be.
“Why isn’t there any food?” Natasha looked around at the mostly empty table that had nothing on it except their beer mugs.
“Oh my god.” Maria groaned. Was Natasha this annoying in real life?
“You think I want to come out of the void for there not to be any food? I’m not in my twenties anymore beer on an empty stomach just doesn’t sit right.” Natasha said with a big playful grin on her face.
Maria imagined two plates of some fancy salad that’s all she could think of.
“Happy?” Maria asked and Natasha looked down at her plate.
“Hill, what is this? Am I happy to eat a meal of beer and salad? What is wrong with you? You think I came out of the dark for iceberg lettuce overpowered by like old goat cheese or something, what are you thinking? Ordering this in a bar?” Natasha laughed as she examined the plate.
“I hate you.” Maria groaned as the food changed again to buffalo wings.
“You’re making me say these things.” Natasha said with a laugh again because it was true.
“Better?”
“Too messy.” Natasha squinted.
“There’s no messes here remember?” Maria pointed out.
“I know that’s a cute little gag for this bit you have going on but you know your mind is a total mess, right?” Natasha asked a little more seriously.
“Don’t even get me started.” Maria muttered and she changed the food again to one large shared basket of French fries that sat between them.
“There we go!” Natasha approved.
“You don’t want anything with protein?” Maria questioned.
“Protein? For what? No. I want to stuff my face with unlimited fried potatoes and never feel bad about it again.” Natasha answered gleefully grabbing a handful of the fries and Maria smiled.
“So, buddy, what’s going on?” Natasha asked leaning in toward the table looking at the dismayed Maria. She would have thought Maria would be pretty happy to see her, instead she looked so sad despite her attempts at smiling and laughing.
Maria thought about how to answer Natasha and she was quiet.
“Why are you laying your bed at 2:45 AM awake and conjuring up dead women in your mind at a bar we clearly have never been to but is a mix of like four places different we’ve gone to? Are you having a nervous breakdown?” Natasha asked.
“That seems the most likely.” Maria nodded.
“Well snap out of it. Ha! Get it, snap?” Natasha joked.
“That’s not funny.” Maria dismissed.
“Ahh give it a couple years.” Natasha waved her hand and Maria looked unimpressed shaking her head no.
“Alright, alright, it’s not funny, I know, I do know that, for real.” Natasha got a bit more serious to match Maria’s tone.
“Why did you leave me here with all these people? I hate all these people.” Maria finally asked Natasha abruptly and sadly. Natasha looked around the empty bar there wasn’t a soul around but fake Natasha knew that wasn’t what she meant.
“Do you even notice them?” Natasha joked.
“I notice that you’re not here.” Maria pointed out quickly.
“Oh c’mon.” Natasha waved off. This wasn’t going to be a grief session, was it? Natasha was not a therapist.
“Can’t we have a good time, can’t we just have fun and laugh like before?” Natasha asked.
“I don’t think so, not yet anyway. I want too, but it’s just so hard.” Maria sighed.
“Well, you have to try harder than this.”
“What do you even know?” Maria dismissed annoyed and Natasha glared at her.
“What? What! What do you mean? What do I even know? I had to do this same thing five years ago!” Natasha pointed out with a laugh. Where was Hill even getting off with that question.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” Maria realized that was true and she didn’t mean to get mad, her grief was mingling with that anger stage pretty closely.
“And, I lost you and Yelena, too.” Natasha pointed out.
“Is she okay?” Natasha asked about Yelena.
“Nobody’s really okay right now.” Maria sighed. There was a lot going on, it was impossible to think and process and realize the loss and change the world had been through.
“Oh..” Natasha made a face.
“I mean, they’re happy to be back and alive again.” Maria quickly added, Maria realized she probably shouldn’t have said that to the woman who died for everyone, but it was true. This was a struggle for everyone.
“Oh! Okay, good. I’m glad. Thank god.” Natasha and Maria both laughed a little.
“But I miss you.” Maria said lovingly and out of nowhere.
“I miss you, too.” Natasha agreed and she tried to smile and Maria just stared at her.
“What?” Natasha asked.
“You had to do it this way?” Maria asked skeptically.
“Yes!” Natasha had no doubts or second thoughts about her decision.
Maria looked at her like she didn’t believe her.
“No, Hill, I just did it because eh, why not? It was faster.” Natasha said sarcastically. Maria looked unimpressed at Natasha.
“Are you mad at me?!” Natasha asked Maria and Maria raised her brows at her and then she shrugged, Maria was afraid to admit that part out loud even in this fake imaged conversation.
“I wanted people to see their loved ones again. You could see your mom again. I just wanted the world to go back to feeling whole.” Natasha admitted.
“What if you are the loved one?”
“You have to get over it.” Natasha said with a loud yet smug sigh.
“Natasha!” Maria scolded sternly and Natasha was not phased.
“No, get over it. People didn’t die so you can wallow around and be miserable, hanging onto an idea of me that was never going to be the same when you came back anyway.” Natasha dismissed rather casually.
Maria looked angry and offended.
“What?” Natasha asked.
“Why are you doing this to me?” Maria asked stunned.
“Hill. First of all, you are doing it to yourself. I was hanging out in the nothing, just fine, no responsibility, no thoughts, no problems, and suddenly I’m just popped in here to deal with your internalized emotional crisis.” Natasha pointed out pointing a French fry at Maria.
“I get to be sad, I get to miss you and grieve and I get to ask questions and have emotions, even if it’s just in here.” Maria asserted, she was saying to herself but in the image of Natasha who she somehow changed into adversary.
“Yes. You can always miss me and you can be sad. But, this? Girl. This is like … a lot …” Natasha gave side eye to the bar set up and then opened her hands and gestured to the this imagined world Maria created in her grief.
“Like look at this mash up level of detail, there’s a pool table over there, and you can vaguely hear people playing pool despite nobody playing pool.” Natasha pointed out.
“I wanted to be alone.” Maria shrugged.
“But I didn’t want to be a weird alone where it was too quiet.” Maria added in.
Natasha raised her brows and tilted her head at Maria.
“So you are focusing on setting the ambiance for a fake conversation with a fake person?” Natasha laughed.
“I wanted to feel chill!” Maria explained.
“You’re right. There’s nothing weird about being in a ghost bar.” Natasha couldn’t stop smiling and it was totally the opposite of Maria’s mood. Like Natasha just wanted to goof off and have a nice time. She didn’t want take things too seriously.
“You know what? Get lost. I can’t, even.” Maria huffed jokingly at Natasha for smacking her fake bar and Natasha immediately disappeared. Maria gasped as she didn’t realize she could do that as the logic of this fake place was very unclear to her. She didn’t mean to do that… right? Wait did fake Natasha do it?
“Oh no! Come back to the ghost bar. No, no.” Maria shook her head and covered her eyes with her hands upset with herself. And Natasha reappeared again this time in a cute gray leather jacket and she had blonde chin length bob that was very cute.
“Whoa, you full on ‘Thanosed’ me there.” Natasha said grabbing her beer again and taking a drink.
“I did, a bit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s okay, just a warning though I’m not going to sugar coat anything in order to just keep sitting here. I guess unless come back with a haircut I really like, then I’ll try to stay around longer.”
“I like this haircut.” Maria said.
“Me too, it’s a good one. You should cut your hair like this.”
“Maybe I will. Should I dye it blonde too?”
“You, a blonde?” Natasha asked curiously.
“I can’t see that.” Natasha shook her head.
“No, I don’t think it would look right.” Maria agreed and they both laughed.
“Can you make mine red again?” Natasha pointed to her hair and then her hair changed back to red but in the same bob and it looked awesome.
“This is kind of fun. We could just stay in here change our clothes and hair and never think about anything real or important again.” Natasha proposed.
“Okay.” Maria agreed with a smirk she was fine with that.
“I’m being sarcastic.” Natasha looked down at her jacket.
“Oh! Is this one of the jackets you stole from me?” Natasha asked.
“I gave that one back, it was too short in my arms.” Maria defended herself.
“Yeah, yeah. Remember that one you “borrowed” the dark brown one, with the gold zipper?” Natasha asked. Maria shook her head no.
“I want that back.” Natasha added.
“I don’t have it.” Maria lied and suddenly she was wearing that same jacket that Natasha described.
“Did… did your subconscious just betray you?” Natasha asked with a big grin.
“Just because I remember it doesn’t mean I have it.” Maria clarified.
“You can keep it.” Natasha said with a little laugh.
“Thanks…” Maria bit her bottom lip.
“Which you were clearly going to do anyway…” Natasha glared at Maria with a light smile.
“Can’t give it back if you’re not here.” Maria pointed out.
“You’re right! Reverse time!! Go back!! I take it back! I changed my mind if I can’t get my jacket back that Maria stole I’m going to reverse everything! Fuck the soul stone!!!” Natasha yelled into the empty bar jokingly.
Maria rolled her eyes.
“If you really wanted it you knew were I lived and you could have raided my closet and taken what you wanted.” Maria snarked.
“You are right, I should have showed up to your grieving mother’s house and been like ‘I just want my jackets back.’ Did you notice I said jackets, plural?” Natasha teased.
“I didn’t have that many.” Maria rolled her eyes. What? Did she have like two or six of them?
“It’s fine, I had a better eye for jackets than you, that’s fine. You can’t have every skill.” Natasha teased and Maria grinned but shook her head no.
“Ohhhkay, lady.” Maria said like Natasha was nuts.
“Truth is truth.” Natasha stuck to her guns and she looked at Maria to confirm. Maria sighed loudly.
“Fine! You happened to get lucky a few times, and found better jackets than me. Sometimes.” Maria admitted with an eye roll.
“I’ll take that one to the grave.” Natasha joked with a laugh.
“Stop it!” Maria huffed, it wasn’t funny.
“That was hilarious.” Natasha defended herself.
“No it isn’t.” Maria snapped back.
“Is it doing you a lot of good to pretend I’m not dead?” Natasha asked.
“No.” Maria answered quickly.
“And I’m not. I asked you how death was, if you recall.” Maria pointed out.
“I mean, does that count? What else you were going to ask when you made me show up late to your own imagination?” Natasha asked with a little laugh and Maria sighed.
“I’m dead, I died. Gone forever. Never coming back, dead, totally dead. I died alone on the cold hard ground.” Natasha said and she wasn’t sad about it, it was like she was saying it boldly.
“Stop.” Maria said in a demanding tone.
“That’s the truth. It sucks, but it is what it is. I’m over it.” Natasha said confidently. Maria looked stern and mad at Natasha for saying those things.
“Hill, c’mon. It was going to happen one day any way. It’s going to happen to you too… again…” Natasha said with a lighter sigh.
“It’s harder, knowing what’s waiting for you even though you already, always kind of knew there was nothing there.” Maria admitted. There was a lot of emotions going on, grieving Natasha, recovering mentally for being dead for five years without knowing it.
“At least next time when it happens to you, we’ll be together.” Natasha offered some relief.
Maria shook her head no.
“You know we won’t.” Maria said solemnly.
“It’s just nothing and nobody. You know it and I know it too. Nothing means anything, everything is pointless. It’s stupid, it’s dumb. Everything is so fucked up.” Maria said in a frustrated and aggravated tone yet she couldn’t even believe she was complaining to the woman who sacrificed her life so Maria could be back in this fucked up place.
“Well, not to quash this misery party early, but everything was pointless and meaningless and fucked up before you blipped too. It was like that before you were born and it will be like that after you finally leave this life for good. It doesn’t mean you can’t make it meaningful or have purpose again, if you so choose.”
“Why? Why even bother? We do all the work that nobody sees, that nobody even knows exists and in the end what do we get? Nothing. Literally. You got nothing.” Maria sighed.
“Since when do you care about getting something out of it?” Natasha asked skeptically, who was this woman? This was not the Maria the Natasha remembered.
“The men always get to go home and we don’t, and never makes any sense to me.” Maria said annoyed.
“They have families.” Natasha shrugged.
“We…” Maria started
“You have family and you just left her!” Maria raised her voice at Natasha. Maria’s own underlying abandonment issues coming through as she referenced Yelena.
Natasha looked shocked and then sad, because it was true.
“I know.” Natasha acknowledged.
“What were you thinking?” Maria scolded more than asked.
“That I’d miss her a lot.” Natasha admitted and Maria shook her head at Natasha.
“What did you expect me to do?” Natasha asked seriously.
“Something else!”
“There wasn’t anything else I could do.”
“You guys cheated time once and you can’t do it again?” Maria scoffed.
“Yeah, you’re right, I should have lured another timeline’s version of me back to this timeline, tricked her and then forced her to sacrifice herself for this timeline that she does’t live in, just so you wouldn’t have to be sad for a while.” Natasha muttered but she added a little laugh. Maria rolled her eyes, she didn’t mean it like that. Surely, they could have found some way.
“But go head, go find some other me. Steal a variant of me away from another variant of you. Very ethical.” Natasha nodded as she sipped her beer again which was now a bottle and not a mug. Maria didn’t even notice when she changed it in her mind.
Maria just sighed, the Natasha she imagined up in her mind was right.
“There are more important people in this world than me.” Natasha pointed out.
“To who?” Maria asked. To Maria? To Yelena?
“You’re right, Maria, you’re right. I’m sorry.” Natasha said trying not to sound sarcastic even though she was.
“I was only thinking about myself and no one else.” Natasha added.
“Extremely selfish of you to sacrifice your life so everyone could see their loved ones again even if you couldn’t.” Maria agreed. This was Maria joking to herself, since there was nothing but selflessness about it even if Yelena and Maria did get hurt. Maria knew she was the one being selfish because it hurt so much but she could never say these things out loud she could only think about them in a place like this where nobody would ever judge her for thinking them, except this fake version of Natasha who was appropriately harsh on the topic.
Maria and Natasha stared at each other.
“Can this be tacos now?” Natasha asked pointing to the never ending basket of fries. Suddenly it changed to tacos and Natasha examined it.
“Chicken?” Natasha asked skeptically and Maria changed it to steak tacos.
“Much better.” Natasha nodded.
“Include your specifics I can’t read your mind.” Maria sighed.
“Which is weird because I am a creation of your mind so you can read my mind actually.” Natasha grimaced.
“I can’t believe all you want to do is eat.”
“I mean, c’mon I’ve been dead for what like five years? Ten years? I’m starving.”
“Like.. three months.” Maria corrected.
“Three months!? That’s it? It feels like forever.”
“It really does.” Maria groaned.
“Only three months? Ohh. No wonder you are mess. I feel kind of bad, I thought you were like beside yourself for years and just reached in the depth of your mind for momentarily relief.” Natasha realized Maria was in a hard spot for healing.
"Three month mark? That’s the hardest when you lose a loved one. Because everyone else has moved on, and you know you should be too but you just can’t let go. But then you start to let go a little on accident and then you remember that you forgot and you get hit with all over again and now this time you are mad at yourself too. It sucks. I remember that three month when you were gone, it sucked a lot.” Natasha acknowledged as she grabbed a taco.
“It sure does. Even if people don’t say it. It’s like you can see them thinking that you need to put your grief away now. I saw so many happy people reuniting and I just wanted that moment with you so bad.” Maria sighed.
“Yeah.” Natasha mumbled.
“I wish I could have given it to you.” Natasha sighed. The two of them paused for a minute and it was quiet. Even in her mind Maria had awkward pauses.
“So, what have you been up to since you’ve been back?” Natasha asked in a light tone.
“I’m thinking about becoming a villain.” Maria joked.
“Uhm, is my death your origin story?” Natasha perked up.
“Yeah.”
“And what would do?”
“In my goal to avenge your unnecessary and cruel death, I’ll be like a villain of minor inconveniences. I’ll set Thor’s shower so it will always be lukewarm no matter what he does.”
“Vicious.”
Maria laughed.
“What else?”
“I’d set Fury’s devices to reverse autocorrect so all words are automatically spelt wrong.”
Natasha laughed.
“Bruce?”
“None of his food would ever be seasoned enough.”
“Careful, don’t make him too mad.” Natasha grimaced and Maria laughed.
“Clint?”
“Decaf, watered down, cold coffee forever, and his socks are always dirty and not matching.”
“Ohh, wow, someone arrest this evil mad woman, she will stop at nothing to avenge me in the most meager ways possible.” Natasha laughed and Maria laughed too.
“Wait, why are you avenging me by going after the people on our side?” Natasha asked a little confused despite how much she liked the ideas.
“Uhm… I don’t know. But, see how it works is I’ll just drive them all crazy until they give up, turn on each other.”
“That’s a good plan.”
“Wait, what about Tony?” Natasha asked, Maria had to want to mess with Tony she worked for him he was a lot at times.
Maria paused and she looked at Natasha with a questionable look.
“Tony died.” Maria revealed.
“He did?” Natasha asked surprised and she frowned.
“Yeah, he died killing Thanos.” Maria explained.
“We killed Thanos.” Natasha looked confused.
“He jumped timelines and came back and tried to snap again.”
“After I did all that!” Natasha yelled stunned.
“Yeah. But Tony died killing him and his army so you didn’t die vain or anything.”
“Well that was nice of Tony.” Natasha laughed.
“Tony was a good guy.” Natasha looked glum.
“Yeah.” Maria nodded in agreement.
“You going to do this with him after me?” Natasha teased.
“Christ, no.” Maria shook her head.
“Let’s invite him!” Natasha said and Tony appeared with a confused look on his face.
“What the…” Tony started to ask but was cut off before he disappeared immediately.
“No! This is our time.” Maria shut it down and Tony disappeared instantly. Maybe he popped in for .2 seconds.
“Wow, ruthless. You are a villain.” Natasha laughed.
“Your sacrifice gets a little washed over sometimes.” Maria admitted.
“That’s okay.” Natasha didn’t mind.
“No it’s not.”
“I didn’t do it for the recognition.”
“That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve any.”
“I had to get the soul stone, I had to. You can’t say you wouldn’t do the same thing.” Natasha sighed.
“Fuck, the soul stone.” Maria huffed, echoing Natasha’s joke from before but Maria said like she really meant it and she ignored Natasha’s point.
“Wow Hill, are you trying to curse yourself with infinite powerful stones? I can say that, I’m dead, you still have a life to live, don’t want infinite all powerful soul stones lining up to get you.” Nat asked raising a brow.
“Those stones let everyone come back but you, they seem pretty finite to me.”
“Even magic has rules.” Natasha shrugged. There was nothing they could do about that.
“I hate it, it’s stupid.” Maria dismissed. Every time she thought about it she got so mad.
“I know. Me too.” Natasha agreed.
“I’ve never missed someone so much in my whole life.” Maria admitted changing the topic.
“I know the feeling.” Natasha agreed.
“That doesn’t help.” Maria sighed.
“No, it doesn’t.” Natasha sighed too and then the two of them were quiet again.
“We’ve been here awhile…” Natasha pointed out after a pause.
“I don’t want you to go.” Maria said she knew she was hanging onto the pretend Natasha in her mind. She could see things start to disappear slowly in the distance.
“I am going to have to go.” Natasha said plainly not as a warning but as a fact and Maria knew it was true.
“I don’t want to keep having to miss you.” Maria admitted.
“Then don’t.” Natasha said confidently.
“I meant I don’t want to miss you because I want you to be here.”
“I know. But there’s just nothing we can do about that.” Natasha admitted and Maria was quiet because she could just tell her fake time with fake Natasha was coming to an end and still felt has cold and miserable as all the time they lost in the real world.
“When you go through the anger stage of this process, can you conjure up Tony instead? But then me after so we can laugh about it?” Natasha joked with a smile and Maria barely faked a smile as her eyes swelled with tears. Maria saw the food between them disappear.
“C’mon, don’t go.” Maria said in a bit panicked.
“I think you know this little mind mesh imagination land thing has run its course.” Natasha sighed.
“No, I don’t, it hasn’t, I get to decide that.” Maria lied but she knew it was going to be over so soon, but Maria and Natasha exchanged a glance that they both knew this moment was almost over. It wasn’t even real and it still hurt.
“Maria, it doesn’t matter, it is not real.”
“I don’t want to try live carrying all these things I can’t say or feel.” Maria admitted sadly and she grabbed her beer bottle. Originally it was just a glass bottle with no label, now it had paper label she could pull at anxiously.
“So say them and feel them, in the real world, in your real life.”
“To who?” Maria asked again.
“Anyone you want…” Natasha narrowed her brows at Maria and then Natasha paused as she thought about Maria’s point again.
“Anyone but me.” Natasha added.
“It doesn’t help.” Maria sighed.
“It will one day.” Natasha assured. She went through this same thing too.
Maria shook her head no.
“You have a lot of things you need to get back to and I’m keeping from.” Natasha said the way she would excuse herself or leave someone’s company.
“No. I don’t have anything I need to do. I don’t. Don’t go.” Maria asked tearfully. Natasha tried to smile through a grimace but she knew she was about to go.
“Look have your jacket back, I don’t care.” Maria like a little kid bargaining and Natasha’s jacket switched to her dark brown jacket with the gold zippers that Maria was wearing.
Natasha just laughed.
“Thanks, but I don’t think I need anymore.” Natasha looked down admiring her long lost jacket from Hill’s closet. It did look good on both of them.
“There’s too many things we left unsaid.” Maria said quietly and sadly and her eyes were already red from tears swelling up.
“We could have said them now.” Natasha pointed out.
“I want it to be real.” Maria sighed her voiced choked up from crying.
Natasha leaned back against the booth chair. She sighed slowly and quietly as she looked somber, she no longer had that high energy return to the living glow that she did when she first appeared. Even the lighting in the ghost bar started went from a warm to a cold color.
“I had a good time, even if was all fake, but seriously, Hill, please don’t make me cry, I don’t want to leave here sad.” Natasha asked quietly.
Maria didn’t want Natasha to leave sad either. Natasha was right, they just should have had a good time and Maria wasted this whole time grumbling and complaining, feeling sorry for herself, and goofing off a little. The jokes were the best part, even if Maria resisted them at first.
Maria didn’t say any of the things she always wanted to say to Natasha. But, Maria couldn’t say the real things she needed to say to a fake Natasha because it didn’t go anywhere. It just stayed with her. This was the problem Maria was having, too much love, grief, and regret and no where for it go.
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, please don’t leave sad.” Maria apologized, she was apologizing for all of it, not saying what she should, making Natasha sad, not just wanting have fun. Maria had too many feelings and emotions coming up she could’t get together. She looked at Natasha and Natasha smiled at her. Maria reached her hand out to Natasha before the moment was gone but bumped her beer bottle and it fell over it shattered on the table. Maria looked down quickly at the broken glass, the glass breaking startled her and then when she looked back up to reach her hand across the table to Natasha before she left, but she was gone and this whole thing was over. Once again, everything between them left unsaid and unfinished.