Chapter Text
Cosmo meandered about the room. I watched him from afar. It was Vee’s idea to descend into the depths of Gardenview. The facility, once our home, was crumbling.
There he was, Cosmo. He had the same face, that tentative stride, but.. he was dead. It was like watching a rabid animal. Instead of foam, a foul black liquid fell from his lips. It made me sick.
“Sprout.”
A hushed reminder broke me from my trance. Vee. She had crept behind me.
“Don’t be fooled, Sprout. That isn’t him.”
I know that. I know that isn’t Cosmo. Vee had decided to use her stern whisper on me. As if I were some child who needed guidance. I sighed wearily. As irritating as it was, it kept me in reality.
“Yeah. I know Vee. You don’t have to tell me again.”
My voice seeped with bitterness. I didn’t mean for it to, but I couldn’t stop it.
“Do you need any more food?” I asked this question quite a lot. As much as Vee was smart and well, egotistical, she was slow.
When she walked she left metallic footsteps behind her, and despite being an automaton, she seemed fatigued. She wasn’t made for mobility. This led to frequent injury.
“Oh.”
“Well?”
She wore a brief frown, averting her eyes.
“I suppose I could use a bite.”
“Good.”
I unpacked a morsel of bread from within my scarf. “Eat it. Please.”
As Vee bit into the stale meal I went back to my gazing.
Cosmo.
I was pulled into a warm memory.
“Are you okay? You seemed to have dozed off?”
Cosmo was looking at me, his big eyes glittering with concern. I chuckled.
“Okay? Cosmo, look at yourself for a moment. Are YOU okay?”
He would roll his eyes. How many times had we had that conversation?
“I’m okay Sprout.” He would respond with a laugh. I missed his laugh.
“Hey Sprout, do you know how to make meringue?”
He would talk often about baking. So much that whenever I saw a pastry I thought of him. It takes dedication to form such a strong association in someone else’s mind.
“Of course I do Cosmo. It’s not all that hard I can show you.”
Cosmo had a habit of flapping his hands when he was excited. You could see it in his eyes, that vigor and energy.
I had raised my brow. “Let me guess. You want me to teach you now?”
“Yesaroo!”
I chuckled. “First you need egg whites,” I would open the fridge, unloading the cartons. “Depends on how much you want to make.”
I would instruct him, leading him step through step.
He waited eagerly, catching on quickly.
“Woah slow down- you don’t want to beat the whites so fast.”
I corrected and guided him. Commenting on his technique.
Finally the meringue was finished.
“Does it look alright?”
“Of course it does! Don’t think it’s even possible for you to mess up Cosmo.”
It broke. That memory broke and I felt my skin tighten. Vee was gone, hiding behind a stack of crates. I turned around and- Cosmo- that thing was sprinting at me.
“NO!” I practically barked it out, getting on my feet. I ran, swerving and panicking.
Stop. If it had been anyone else. If you had been anyone else I wouldn’t care, but.
My heart was pounding. I wanted to turn around. To embrace him. I don’t want to run from my best friend.
Vee gestured to me, frantically, silently. Trying to fight emotion with reason. Trying to point a hiding place out to me.
I could feel my chest burning. Soon my emotions had seeped into my physical stature. He was getting closer. No. I won’t die here. I won’t die here!
I turned the corner, sprinting around the diner counter. He lunged towards where I was but I was gone already. I’m sorry Cosmo.
I wish I could have saved you.
He was off somewhere else now.. I curled up. I was hiding, not just from those.. things.. but from the others. With the sting of tears in my eyes, I balled in on myself.
Finally, I opened my eyes. Boxten was working on a machine, his key turning as he focused. Often I sympathized with his fear, but now it only made me angry. I know I should be protecting him too, but why me? Why do I have to be the one to shield others? It hurts me, and when I break, it hurts them.
I don’t even succeed half of the time. It pisses me off.
My eyes darted upwards as I heard footsteps. It was just Boxten walking towards me.
“Hey Sprout-!” He spoke tentatively, curling up beside me. He was like Cosmo, his heart was worn on his sleeve. As I watched him I could sense many emotions, radiating off of him.
Fear, guilt, lethargy. I had a keen eye for emotion.
“Boxten. Are you doing well? Need anything?”
The way I spoke was almost demanding. Stress does strange things to your voice.
“Oh uh- no- I just came by to let you know the elevator’s.. gonna take off soon.”
I was partially listening. It was like Boxten, to check on people so frequently it became annoying. Perhaps we are similar.
“Alright then. You’re doing good work out there, Boxten.” I spoke with authority, as if I hadn’t been hiding for a majority of our tirade.
“Thanks Sprout.. means a lot coming from y-you.”
For a moment there was silence, it wasn’t awkward though. It was almost a relief. Boxten wasn’t the type to pressure you into a conversation. He spoke little but got his point across well.
He reminded me so much of Cosmo it almost made me sick.
As he had said, a sudden siren indicated the completion of machines. The elevator forced its way open and I gestured for Boxten to leave.
Together we sprinted to the metal door letting ourselves relax once we were safe inside of its industrial walls.
There weren’t many of us left, but there weren’t many of us to begin with. Goob was panting slightly. That look of innocent friendliness that often brightened his face was gone. It struck me that.. Shrimpo was not with us.
My heart sank. Boxten walked over to Goob, resting his hand upon his shoulder.
“I’m sorry Goob..”
“It isn’t fair!”
I winced. Goob sounded nothing like he usually did. He sounded.. like me.
Boxten still stood close to him. Even he was beginning to change. Usually he would rest fearfully in the corner, but now he could comfort.
I wished such experiences would make me a better friend, as it did to him.
“Someone should have kept an eye on him.. I should have kept an eye on him!” Goob’s voice was so raw. I had never heard him so upset.
It was as if he were bargaining with fate. If only I had done that, if only I had done this. You can’t undo what’s been done, lord knows I’ve tried.
The elevator creaked and chattered, the metal clanking. I sighed.
I was no use in this situation.
“You did your best Goob.. you really did.” Boxten’s voice was genuine, dripping with care and emotion.
I watched as Goob pulled him into a tight hug, holding him as if that could protect him. As if that would immortalize him.
It was a futile effort.. but I understood.
In the corner Toodles was seated, resting with Shelly and Vee.
I still don’t know why Vee agreed to bring Toodles. We’ve already lost so many toons. Gone from our roster forever. Distorted and forced to wander those floors. I was spiteful, sure, but Vee didn’t understand. She had Shelly, the only one she cared about. She hadn’t lost. Not like Toodles had. Not like Goob had. Not like Boxten had. Not like I had.
I tried to remember.
Rodger had been killed a few days ago. He was too slow, and on his way to the elevator he tripped. I remembered Toodles screams as Poppy dragged him by his legs, his feverish crying.
It was horrifying. I hadn’t seen what happened to Shrimpo.
Astro had gone missing days ago, only to appear in that accursed diner. A pair of arms bursted from his back. Back then we had Poppy. I remember yelling over and over for her to hide but she fought tooth and nail until.. she was gone.
The husks that remained were uncanny. Then.. there was Cosmo.
Scraps had caught him by the arm with her tail. I didn’t see it, but I heard it. He was screaming. I could hear it from the elevator. I begged to go back. I begged to find him but the others refused. It was too late for him. He had died the moment he stepped onto that floor.
I could have saved him. I could have. I didn’t but I could have.
Just like Goob I was tangling the past with the now. I wanted to undo it. We all wanted to undo it.
“Hey Sprout. Stay on task we’re almost on the next floor.” There was Vee, standing before me. Trying to get me to work again. Get me to function again.
I scoffed. “What do you mean stay on task? I’m not sleeping. I’m perfectly present Vee. Why don’t you stay on task and untangle your chords or something?”
I deflected her comment with ease. Shrimpo was dead. As much as that guy was a nuisance, a loss was a loss. I bet Vee wouldn’t be so curt if it had been Shelly.
Vee gave a mechanical hiss. “Okay. Well then. Nice talk, but you better be ready next floor.”
She paused as I rolled my eyes. “Please stay safe..”
I was broken from my indignant cloud of frustration. I couldn’t pin her with blame could I? She was afraid. Maybe she hadn’t lost, but she was afraid of losing me.
“You know me. I’ll be fine.” I brushed it off but I was conflicted. No. Vee wasn’t at fault, it was just easier to push blame, when my whole world was crumbling apart.