Chapter Text
I was prepared to kill him.
He was a beautiful creature, that Lestat. In our world of vampires, it was difficult to find anyone to want. If you were given eternity, you would find that no one would seem very special anymore. But something about Lestat resurrected a desire in many. A desire that, in most vampires, had long been dead. He was so interesting, so emotional, reckless, and fresh. But despite all of this, I had no wish to spare him. I did not want to give him pity.
For centuries, Akasha and I had been together, sitting side by side like eternal lovers, as though we were the very definition of "God" and "Goddess". By the time that Lestat came to visit our steward, Marius, we had lived enough lives to be able to predict life. There was no reason to stand from our bench and partake in the world, but we did not want to die.
When there was no longer any hope of seeing or feeling anything beautiful or new ever again, Akasha and I had pledged to at least be there for each other. For as long as we were together, it was simply that we had each other, we had someone, or else neither of us would have survived this long.
It was that oath that gave us any reason to exist at all. It was our purpose to fulfill. For this, I loved her.
She was unhappy. I could feel it, always. And it made me ache. I would have been unhappy, too, but all I had to think was, "I have her," and I would pretend it was enough. It helped me to bury my gloom in a faraway corner. It hurt me that she could not do the same.
When Marius opened the door to our chamber and descended the stairs that memorable night two centuries ago, we already knew he had another with him. We had sensed him as Marius brought him to the house, and for Marius to bring him at all meant that he would be special.
When I first laid eyes on Lestat, I never imagined I would want to hurt him. I never imagined that this vampire would arouse in me a violent desperation to crush him, when no one, mortal or otherwise, had given me any feeling whatsoever for thousands of years.
Just like Marius, I was intrigued by him. And so was Akasha. He had the kind of beauty that made you create a kind of royal status for him in your mind. He was aboveeveryone else. The fact that he was unaware of his desirability made me want, all the more, to take advantage of it.
My awe of him distracted me from the jealousy I felt that Akasha was captivated by him, too. I could hardly blame her, and I didn't think it would make sense to worry about her infatuation. Lestat was only a guest. He would be gone before long, there was no reason to give him anything more than our interest.
But Akasha thought differently. She gave him her name.
Marius told Lestat about Akasha and I, "Those Who Must be Kept". I didn't mind. It was all quite impressive information, I enjoyed seeing Lestat's awe and his shock and his horror. I liked having such a strong impact on someone, it gave me some little, temporary sense of purpose again. While Lestat was captivating to Akasha and I, he was captivated by Akasha and I, and I knew he would not ever forget us.
What I did not know, was how very unpredictable this vampire was. When Marius left the house to Lestat for the day, it was our room that Marius forbade him from trespassing. But Lestat's curiosity of Akasha and I was so strong that he could not bring himself to question what he would do, lest he realize it was wrong, and his questions would go forever unanswered.
The foolish little vampire thought that he could actually do something to make us rise from our bench. He thought he could inspire life back into us, but it was not inspiration that brought me to life.
Instead, he gave me a new purpose, of which I was certain he would regret.
Lestat stepped into our chamber, and walked down those stairs, by himself this time, a violin in hand. By then, I was nervous. I could feel Akasha's fascination of him, and I was concerned of the impact he had on her. I did not want Lestat to change anything.
It was in the moments that followed that my appreciation for Lestat changed to resentment. He played the violin and it was unlike anything we had ever seen or heard before. The magical music felt famous even though I knew he had never played the violin before.
He changed Akasha, I could feel it as he played, and I wanted more and more for him to just stop. The song he was playing was of an exotic melody that you could learn to sing to as you heard it. And while Akasha and I had only allowed ourselves to interact with each other, and pretend to be dead in the face of others as unmoving statues for so long, she broke away from our secrecy. She sung to that song.
She stood up right before Lestat, when for so long she had only moved before me.
She moved forward, and she embraced him, like she had never embraced me.
She gave him her blood, and she took his, in the most intimate manner, right there, right in front of me, as though I did not matter. Lestat was taking her away from me.
Is this what he wanted? If not, then why did he come down here at all?
I was prepared to kill him then. I did not want to give him pity.
I got up, and in moments I had his skull between my palms, and the expression of unleashed terror bursting at me from his eyes. I was in the very process of crushing him, when Marius stopped me.
But the damage was done. Lestat may still be alive, but the peace had already been stolen.
Marius cared to guarantee the safety of his minuscule guest, but he cared not to guarantee the safety of Akasha and I, of whom he had been taking care of for so long.
I developed a grudge against Lestat. Marius could feel it, and he sent Lestat to go far away, and for a long time. He thought my grudge would tire, eventually.
And it might have.
But even 200 years later, Akasha still felt for Lestat, and she abandoned me in pursuit of him.
More than ever, I wanted to crush him, crush his spirit, and Akasha's abandonment was the last straw. I had no more purpose now, nothing would hold me back.
"If you're going to take my love," I thought, "then I will take your's." For I had the power to even see that he had found his love, and just recently, too.
That would be the first thing I would do. There was more. I could not let this go simply. Thousands of years of being together, and becoming gods together,Lestat had taken that away. There was a rage I was giving way to, and for having felt so little for so long, it was invigorating. I merely wanted to show Lestat that this recklessness of his had consequences. He wanted something, anything to happen.
He invited it. And I would accept.