Chapter Text
Bella and Jacob were pulling up to her house when she saw it in the glow of the headlights.
Carlisle’s car.
“Stop!” she cried, slamming her palms against the dashboard. “Jacob, stop the car!”
Jacob hit the brakes suddenly, jerking them both forwards painfully. Bella could feel the burn on her throat from the seatbelt but she didn’t care.
“What?” he said, alarmed. “Is it her, is it Victoria?”
Bella didn’t answer, she was too busy untangling herself from her seatbelt.
“Bella?” Jacob asked urgently, doing the same.
“It’s Carlisle’s car, it’s the Cullens! They’re here!”
Bella half threw herself out of the car in her haste, not even caring when she landed directly in a puddle, not caring as the muddy water soaked into her canvas trainers. She half-feared the car would vanish, like a fata morgana, that it was just some other trick her brain had come up with.
She hadn’t expected to see the Cullens again.
Ever.
Bella tried to keep her hopes in check, to not allow them to expand too far in her chest. She’d been far too hurt the last time to do that. But maybe Alice was there. Maybe Edward…
No.
The only person she could tell for certain was there was Carlisle, because it would only make sense that he would be the person who had brought his car, and even that was more than she had ever allowed herself to even hope for.
“Bella, wait!” Jacob called, making to get out of the car as well.
“No, Jacob, wait in the car!”
She needed to do this alone.
Jacob stared at her incredulously. He clearly didn’t have a particularly high opinion of her sanity, first with her cliff-jumping and now her insistence on entering a house that might well contain a certain flame-haired vampire out for her blood.
“You want to go in alone? There are vampires in your house, and you want to go in alone?”
“Yes!” Bella cried in exasperation, throwing her arms out wildly, fully aware it wasn’t doing anything to make her look more balanced or sane. “It’s not Victoria, it’s Carlisle. There’s no danger.”
Jacob snorted incredulously.
“Bella, I can’t let you go in there alone.”
“Just wait here Jake, I’ll call you in a few minutes to let you know everything is fine. Or you can call. But it’s just Carlisle!”
With that, she half ran, half walked towards her house, heart in her throat and eyes fixed on the Mercedes parked out front. Her soaked shoes squelched with every step. She was still trying to keep her hope in check. There were many Mercedes in the world, after all. Maybe it was just someone parking for a few minutes to check their phone, maybe it was a new friend of Charlie’s…
Bella’s hands were shaking as she unlocked the door.
It was pitch-black inside, the kind of darkness where she could have held her hand up in front of her face and not seen it at all.
Charlie usually left the porch light on at least. He rarely forgot.
Her heart skipped a beat.
Oh, God, maybe this was a trap after all. And she’d wandered straight into it like a fool.
Bella fumbled for the switch, fingers scrabbling on the wall for the smooth plastic. She couldn’t find it, and everything was so dark.
Her heart was pounding so hard that she was certain Jacob could hear it outside.
The switch flicked on suddenly as her fingers finally found it.
Bella blinked against the sudden bright light, almost painful to her eyes after the oppressive darkness that had greeted her when she had first entered the house.
Somone suddenly came out of the living room and into the hallway, someone taller than her, and for a second Bella wanted to scream for Jacob, still trying to blink clear her vision.
Then the figure came into focus, and she recognized Carlisle instantly.
Bella didn’t even think before she throwing herself into his arms. She’d forgotten how solid vampires were though, and the impact almost sent her flying to the ground but Carlisle caught her deftly before she could fall.
“Hello, Bella,” he said gently, steadying her and looking at her with deep concern in his pitch-black eyes.
He looked as perfect as ever, but also more disheveled than she’s come to expect from Edward’s usually immaculately dressed father. His wavy blonde hair was sticking out at strange angles, as though he’d been running his hands through it a lot, and the shadows under his darkened eyes were more purple than she’d seen them before.
Bella had never been so glad to see anyone in her life. She immediately pulled him into a hug.
Then she burst into tears.
“Oh, Bella,” Carlisle said sadly, wrapping his cold arms around her as well and holding her up as she cried. Bella could feel her tears soaking into Carlisle’s probably quite expensive navy sweater but didn’t dare pull away.
She couldn’t believe this was happening.
“Are you really here?” she sobbed into his now damp shoulder. “Please, tell me you’re real.”
“I’m here, Bella,” Carlisle said soothingly, rubbing comforting circles on her back with his cold hand. “And I never should have left.”
“I’m so happy you’re here,” Bella sobbed. “I thought I had lost all of you forever.”
“Everything is alright,” Carlisle said, before gently removing her from his arms and leading her to the kitchen. Bella allowed herself to be led without question, still too shaken to do anything else. Once there, Carlisle sat her down in a chair at the kitchen table and poured her a glass of cold water.
Then, slowly, he sat down opposite her, every inch the concerned doctor as he took in her bedraggled appearance and the tears still streaming down her flushed cheeks.
“Are you well, Bella?” he asked. “I ask because I was sent here under the impression that you were no longer with us.”
That finally stopped Bella’s tears in their tracks.
“What?” she managed to croak out. “What do you mean?”
Carlisle crossed his arms and looked at her cautiously across the table. Almost as though he couldn’t believe he was seeing her either. Suddenly, his harried appearance made slightly more sense. And his being at her house in the first place.
“Alice came to me this morning in a complete panic because she had seen you jumping off a cliff,” he explained, as gently as he could. “She waited, but she didn’t see you re-surface. She drew her conclusions.”
In that moment, Bella realized what must have happened.
“Oh God, she must have thought-“
Bella broke off and stared at Carlisle in horror.
He gave her a small, sad smile.
“She was very upset, as you can imagine. She told me I had to go to Forks, because someone had to confirm what had happened. And she wanted someone to be there for Charlie.”
He pushed the glass of water across the table towards her. Bella took a small sip, still not able to believe what she was hearing. The Cullens had all assumed she was dead. And Carlisle was here because he was expecting to find her dead and Charlie distraught at her loss. No wonder he was looking at her with so much concern.
“I left immediately, of course. The house was empty when I got here, but I could tell you’d been there recently. So, I told myself I would wait until Charlie returned home, and ask him myself. I was prepared to apologize, and maybe also to explain why it was we left the way we did.
So, you can imagine my surprise when you walked through the door, alive and well.”
Carlisle gazed at her thoughtfully.
“It still doesn’t explain why Alice saw you jumping from a cliff, however. Her visions can be fickle, but she’s never been entirely wrong before.”
Bella slowly put the glass back down on the table. Suddenly, her whole cliff diving adventure seemed incredibly ill-calculated and dangerous. And she was pretty certain Carlisle would not approve. He wasn’t exactly known for being a risk-taker, or someone who enjoyed adrenaline rushes. Especially if she mentioned the hallucinations of Edward that had led to her making the fateful leap in the first place.
“I, err,” she started awkwardly.
Carlisle looked at her expectantly.
“I was getting into cliff diving?” she offered weakly. “I saw Jacob and some of his friends doing it, and it looked sort of fun. So, I…gave it a go myself.”
Carlisle was staring at her with exactly the sort of horror she had expected. She definitely hadn’t won any points there.
Bella wondered if he also thought she had finally lost the plot.
“But Alice didn’t see you getting out of the water,” he told her, brow furrowed in confusion. “Hence the assumption you had perished.”
“Jacob pulled me out,” Bella explained. “I was very lucky that he was there.”
“You certainly were,” Carlisle agreed. “Is this new friend of yours by any chance Jacob Black?”
“Yes,” Bella said, surprised. “Do you know him?”
“Not personally, but I knew his grandfather.”
Carlisle looked at her closely. The dim light of the kitchen cast stark shadows on his youthful face, and made the deep shadows under his eyes all the more obvious. Clearly, she was looking at someone else she had inadvertently put through hell.
That was a group that seemed to grow by the day.
“Can I safely assume you’ve had your fill of extreme sports for the time being?”
“Yeah,” she said, quietly. Nothing would make her jump off a cliff again. Not even the off-chance of seeing a ghostly version of Edward.
“Good,” he said. “That’s certainly a relief.”
Then he rested his chin thoughtfully in his hand and gazed out of the window at the trees outside. The gentle sound of rain dripping from the leaves was the only audible noise for several seconds. Bella took another sip of water.
“What I am wondering is why Alice did not see Jacob in her vision of you. If he was there, it would have made sense that she would also have seen him rescuing you.”
Bella shrugged. Alice’s visions and how exactly they functioned wasn’t something she had ever claimed to know particularly well, and she wasn’t about to complain about any glitches in them if it meant she was now back with at least one Cullen.
Carlisle suddenly leaned forward and fixed her with a barely concealed expression of alarm. Something had clearly just occured to him.
“Bella,” he began uncertainly. “Bella, how much do you know about the Quileutes?”
Bella gave him a confused look.
“Do you mean the whole wolf thing?” she asked. Surely Carlisle wasn’t going to attempt to explain that her now.
“Good, you know,” he said. “I wasn’t quite sure if that was something I should spring on you right now. You’ve had quite the day, it would seem.”
He returned to gazing pensively out of the window.
“Maybe you should ask Alice about her visions, I have no idea why she couldn’t see Jake,” Bella said hesitantly.
Carlisle sighed. There was clearly something else on his mind, something else that was troubling him.
“How is Jacob’s control?” he asked carefully, looking down at his pale hands and not meeting her eyes.
Bella stared at him.
“Are you really going to lecture me about why werewolves are dangerous?” she asked him incredulously.
“No, I suppose not,” Carlisle said apologetically. “Forgive me for doubting him, I should be grateful he was there.”
“Yeah, you should be,” Bella said, irritation bleeding into her words. A sudden flare of protectiveness over Jacob had flared into existence in her chest and she didn't want to hear Carlisle doubt him. Not when he had done so much for her.
“I apologize,” Carlisle said, sincerely.
Bella nodded.
“It’s not the only time one of the wolves has saved me,” she said. Something in her was determined to show Carlisle that the pack were not dangerous to her or anyone else. And that they had been there for her when the Cullens had abandoned her.
Carlisle’s eyes widened with alarm.
“I almost don’t want to ask.”
Bella sighed and ran a fingertip slowly along the rim of her glass.
“Laurent showed up in the meadow,” she told him.
Carlisle frowned.
“Laurent, as in the Laurent who we met whilst he was travelling with Victoria and James? Who has been staying with the Denali clan these past few months?”
Bella nodded.
“Tell me, quickly,” Carlisle implored her.
Bella quickly explained about the meadow, Laurent, and how he had wanted to harm her. How the wolves had destroyed him in front of her.
Carlisle listened intently, occasionally nodding as she explained certain points in more detail. His dark eyes narrowed when she mentioned that she had gone to the meadow alone, but he did not interrupt her at any point.
“Right,” he said slowly, when Bella was finished. “Alice didn’t see that either, at least not that I’m aware. You’ve certainly been through a challenging time, Bella, and I can only apologize to you for the part I played in it.”
He looked deeply upset at himself, and Bella could read on his pale features how much it troubled him that she had been so upset and alone. But the blame didn’t rest on him alone, and Bella was sure he had only acted because Edward had convinced him and the rest of the family they would have to.
“It’s not your fault,” Bella hurried to assure him.
“Well,” Carlisle said, pale features still drawn. “It seems I have been sent here on something of a fool’s errand. And I need to make several calls.”
He stood suddenly, and neatly slotted the chair back under the table. The sounds of water dripping outside suddenly seemed uncomfortably loud and intrusive. Carlisle looked out of place in the small kitchen, and from the way he was holding his hands awkwardly at his sides, Bella could tell he was uncomfortable.
Then, she suddenly realized what was happening.
“You’re leaving?” she asked in horror, the small flickers of hope she had been feeling seemed to die in her chest. He had only just gotten here. They had barely even spoken.
The panic set in. Bella felt as though her lungs were shrinking in her chest. This couldn’t be happening again. She wasn’t strong enough to do this for a second time in only a few months.
“Please, Carlisle, you can’t just leave,” she begged him, her voice shrill.
Carlisle shuffled his feet awkwardly and cast a quick glance at the door.
“Bella, I shouldn’t have come back in the first place, I shouldn’t have intruded into your life again, just as you were beginning to move on. It’s for the best if I leave now and you continue on.”
Bella could feel tears beginning to well up again, prickling uncomfortably in her eyes.
“But you only just got here,” she wailed. “Please, just one more day?”
Carlisle took two steps until he was standing in front of her. He surveyed her carefully.
“You don’t look well, Bella,” he said slowly, allowing his eyes to roam over her damp hair, her tear-stained cheeks, her wet shoes. Bella could feel that there was snot streaked across her cheek and she swiped at it angrily with her sleeve.
“Thanks,” she managed to choke out.
“Our leaving so abruptly hurt you more than I released,” he said, quietly and apologetically, more to himself than to her. “I can see that you have suffered. Emotionally.”
He looked at her carefully, weighing her up.
“I will remain in Forks tonight,” he finally said.
It suddenly struck Bella more obviously that Carlisle did not look well either. Of course, vampires always looked the same, but his pitch-black eyes spoke of weeks without feeding and his demeanor was downtrodden. And Bella could have sworn he hadn't looked so grey only a few months ago.
“Are you alright, Carlisle?” Bella asked croakily, wiping a damp sleeve across her eyes.
Carlisle smiled at her gently.
“I am fine,” he said, not convincing her in any way.
“You should hunt,” Bella suggested quietly. “While you’re here.”
His dark eyes were unsettling her. They made him look ill.
Carlisle opened his mouth to answer when the phone suddenly rang behind them, cutting rudely through the peace of the kitchen.
Bella pulled herself up and walked towards the phone. She tugged it roughly from the wall.
“Swan residence,” she said dully, watching Carlisle closely all the while. She didn’t trust him not to leave after all. The window was right there, after all. And Edward had never had any problems with entering or leaving through them. That said, she couldn’t really picture Carlisle engaging in such behavior.
“It’s me, Bella,” Jacob’s voice cut through with urgency.
Bella suddenly froze. She had completely forgotten her promise to call him, to let him know she was safe, and everything was alright. He was probably still anxiously sitting outside, waiting for her to confirm she was still alive.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine Jake, it’s only Carlisle here-“
“He’s there alone?” Jacob asked, his voice rough and tone insistent. Bella could practically see him in her mind, ready to jump to her defense. Ready to transform into that massive reddish-brown wolf, and tear Carlisle apart limb for limb.
“What? Yes, that’s what I just said.”
Jacob hung up on her.
Bella rolled her eyes.
“That’s going to be a problem,” she told Carlisle, who had come into the hallway.
“The wolves aren’t pleased that I’m here,” he said quietly. “Even if I’m alone.”
They stood in silence for a few moments before Bella suddenly remembered what they had been talking about.
“Where will you stay?” she asked suddenly. “I know you don’t sleep, but you still need to stay somewhere. I’m surely Charlie wouldn’t mind you staying on the couch or something.”
The image was ever so slightly comical, and she couldn’t help but picture Charlie and Carlisle having to make awkward small talk while setting up a sofa bed.
Perhaps not.
“I have a house,” Carlisle reminded her. “I can imagine I’m the last person Charlie would want to have camping in his living room at the moment.”
“But you can stay for a little longer?” Bella sked. “You haven’t told me about what you’ve been doing, or what the others have been up to. There's so many things I still need to ask you about.”
The name 'Edward' hung unspoken in the air between them.
“Alright,” Carlisle said quietly. “But not for much longer Bella, Charlie will be returning soon, and I don’t think this is a conversation anyone has the patience for this evening.”
“You’re probably right,” Bella said, with grudging acceptance. “I’ll tell him you’re in town though. You should come by and see him tomorrow.”
Carlisle’s eyes flickered up to the clock that hung in the kitchen.
“He always spoke so highly of you,” Bella told him quickly. “He’d want to hear how you were doing.”
“Alright,” Carlisle agreed, though Bella had the feeling he was only doing so to appease her.
He moved to the kitchen once again, more slowly this time.
“Have you eaten yet?” he asked her suddenly.
Bella shook her head, suddenly hit by a feeling of ravenousness. She hadn’t eaten for most of the day. In response to her thoughts, her stomach gave a loud grumble.
She made her way over to the fridge and pulled out a Tupperware with leftovers at random.
Behind her, Carlisle had resumed looking pensively out of the window. He hadn’t sat down.
Bella emptied the Tupperware of pasta onto a plate from the drying rack and shoved it in the microwave, then turned to him once again.
There was nothing for it. The elephant in the room simply needed to be addressed and Carlisle was clearly too concerned for her mental state to broach the subject himself.
The microwave hummed comfortingly behind her.
“How’s Edward?”
Carlisle froze. He turned to her slowly, uncertainty practically emanating from him.
“The last I heard from him, he was…coping,” Carlisle said hesitantly. His eyes darted to the door again.
Bella looked at him, the question clear enough in her eyes.
“He hasn’t been living with Esme and I,” Carlisle told her hesitantly. “He calls every now and then, to let us know he is still alive. Esme worries about him a great deal.”
From the state Carlisle was in, Bella doubted it was only Esme who was worried about Edward.
“Where is he?” she asked, needing to know something, anything about where Edward had been and what he had been doing since he had left Forks and broken her heart in the process. Even if it hurt to hear it.
“The last time he called, he was in South America,” Carlisle said. “I wish I could tell you more, Bella, but I don’t know very much about Edward’s day to day myself. I’m grateful he calls at all.”
Just then, Carlisle’s head jerked towards the street and he listened to something she couldn’t hear.
“Charlie will be here shortly,” he told her quickly, striding back into the hallway towards the front door.
Oh right.
The car.
Charlie wouldn’t recognize it the same way she had been able to, and would most likely conclude that there was an intruder in the house. Having him charging in with his gun out would definitely not help the situation.
“Please come back tomorrow,” she whispered, following him out onto the porch. “Like you promised.”
Carlisle turned back to her, the now switched on porch light casting deep shadows across his face. He looked ghost-like, like he would disappear if Bella blinked.
“I will, Bella.”
Then he got back into the Mercedes and down the road, turning the corner just as Charlie’s patrol car turned onto the street.