Chapter Text
Sin explodes. His world faded to black for a moment, his ears ringing, and eyes unable to see. He felt like a naked mole rat.
The can of dry dog food he opened was pressurized and full of chemicals. Within its fine all-organic ingredients, lie the traces of mushy gear cells and miscellaneous slop. The highly volatile chemical of slop. Similar to napalm. The strange sludge-like substance COATED his face like a burger colliding with another smaller burger.
“In space, no one can hear you.” cackled Happy Chaos taking a gun out of his pistol-shaped handbag that was inside a pistol-shaped box.
Sin was then shot 17 times.
Sin sees his life flash before his eyes but it’s every burger he’s ever eaten. He imagines a burger with 32 pieces of soggy lettuce and nothing else. Recently he was trying a new recipe, order of his mom (and Necros holding Happy Chaos’ pistol and waving it around).
Happy Chaos shoots him a dastardly smile before actually shooting him again.
Bang!
Sin can only wonder why before Happy Chaos elaborates.
Happy Chaos likes soggy lettuce. His mouth waters at the thought of eating a Burger King foot lettuce wrap. He imagines the soft, crispy texture of the green leaves stacked up on top of each other, glowing in the light like gooey radioactive green slop. He feels like a brachiosaurus when he eats it, the way it crunches in his teeth as he elongates his neck like a giraffe. He could eat that chewy, plain, soggy slop every day. His tongue darts from between his lips as he imagines taking a bite out of that delicious, home-grown slopurger.
Nagoriyuki shook his head. This is the 27th time this week that Happy Chaos has vividly imagined soggy lettuce meal via Sin final death moments fanfiction he has been writing.
Nagoriyuki turns his head to unsheathe his samurai sword, but instead of his trusty daishou weapon, there is just Happy Chaos’ pistol in its place. He screams. Nagoriyuki doesn’t know what a gun is, and this is the first time he has ever seen one.
Happy Chaos is about to take a bite out of his soggy slopurger before Nago hoists up the gun, pointing it at him with shaky hands. His fingers danced over the trigger, shaking and trembling. A bead of sweat rolls down his forehead, thoughts racing.
He then drops it only to misfire and shoot Happy Chaos directly in the head.
COUNTER!
Another Happy Chaos appears, shrugging his arms nonchalantly. “Glad I’m not that guy!”
“Hey!” said Sin. “whaddya I miss?”
“No one can hear you scream in space…” whispered Nago in a loud, booming voice.
“Are you gonna eat that?” Sin asks as he points to the slopeurger, which has spilled into a million pieces on the floor.
Hapty Chaos smushes it back into form “yeah”
Nago stares at the slopurger suspiciously. “Is there… gear cells in that burger?”
“Putting gear cells in burgers is consider highly unethical by todays standards.” Said Asuka from outside the space station. His loud, disembodied voice ricocheted throughout SIn’s mushy and very smooth brain.
“Hey! Putting gear cells in burgers is consider highly unethical by todays standards” said Sin
Nago stares at the slopurger suspiciously. The slopurger began to twitch, out of excitement?
‘Are you gonna eat that?” Nago asked, his mouth salivating. There was drool coming out his mask, spilling out of his mask like an abundant waterfall. Happy Chaos wanted to drink it. Just to try.
“No.” Asuka R# replied. “It is much easier to destroy it.”
A swarm of Happy Chaos’s stampede Asuka R#, he will not let him destroy his Slopgeur
The hurt Asuka R# is face to face with the last remaining Happy Chaos, his words will forever stick with him
“You can’t hear in space!” chipped Sin happily, whirling his flag pole in his palms like a windmill that was working overtime, spinning out of control and slipping out of his hand to crash into Asuka’s face. “No one can!”
COUNTER!
Asuka jolted back in shock, his Mana Shield bursting with a little “doo do doo.” He got flashbacks to when Sol would punch his face in. He liked when he did that.
He really liked it, but he had to shake the thoughts from his mind, to deal with the problems at hand.
No one could know how he truly felt. Not yet (SUBTLE FORESHADOWING).
It’s not like anyone could hear his thoughts in space. Because you can’t hear a thing in space. Unless you’re psychic or something. (SUBTLE FORESHAQWDOINE)
Except for Slayer. Slayer always knows. He always knew…. He was there was Asuka was born. He watched his grow, his singular grow, take his first baby steps whens the gear cells grow as Asuka was born. No one could hide from Slayer. Not even you.
As Nagoriyuki reached out for the burger, Happy Chaos took out his samurai sword and pointed it at Nago, Sin, Asuka, and Slayer all at the same time.
“I MUST HAVE IT.” he proclaimed, twiddling his thumbs as he reached over for the burger.
Romeo walks into the room. The crowd cheers viciously as the endless clapping echoes throughout the chamber. Fireworks crackled in the background, sparking up like shiny little stars. The 47 Happy Chaos clones begin having a dance party in the background, one of them breakdancing on top of the moon. Tis really cool.
“BEDMAN IS BACK!” All the Chaos’ yell in perfect unison.
“Hey!” said Romeo. “whaddya I miss?”
“I said the same thing earlier!” Replied Sin, “We’re so alike!”
They looked at each other for a fleeting moment, their eyes locking. Romeo looked away, brushing a strand of lavender hair off his face, timidly tucking it behind his ear. He dipped his head ever so slightly, his foggy glasses catching the glint of the light as he looked away. Sin couldn’t help but glance into his glowing brown orbs, his sweaty hands fidgeting with the flagpole he had been spinning furiously just moments ago.
“I too am in this fanfic” said Faust, who was looking rather Faustly today.