Chapter Text
Gran was furious.
Not that it was anything new. Furious was Gran’s default setting. You would assume that the goddess of love and beauty would be more likeable, but unfortunately under all those “good” looks is nothing but a cold, bitter heart.
Gran had never been this furious, however.
Usually, Henry would know why - mainly because he was the reason. It doesn’t matter what he did, Gran would always sniff out a flaw. Which is why this was such a surprise. It wasn’t just the sheer amount of anger (Henry swore he could see steam curling out of her ears), but the fact that, for once, he wasn’t the cause. He almost wanted to celebrate. Almost.
There was still a furious Gran, after all.
Thankfully for Henry, he didn't have to ask her what was wrong. Gran launched into it herself.
“Do you know what the mortals are up to, boy?” she sneered.
“No, Gran. I don't know what the mortals are doing,” Henry replied, already bracing for the storm.
“They have decided to worship a mere mortal instead of me! Can you believe it? A mortal! As if anyone could be more beautiful than me! I am a goddess! Of love and beauty, no less! Yet they think some lowly mortal is better?”
Wouldn't be surprised, Henry thought, but he didn't dare say that out loud. At this point, Henry wasn't even listening to Gran. He learned to tune her out long ago. Nothing good came from listening to her anyway.
“-then that stupid Alexander-”
“-need to do something. Need to make them pay-”
Now, Henry was fully listening. It wasn't good when Gran wanted revenge. She never actually did anything to enact her revenge. She preferred delegating the task and hoarding the credit. And since he was the only person around, well, the job was clearly going to land on him. Which will happen in 3… 2… 1…
“HENRY!”
“Yes, Gran?”
“I need you to punish this Alexander mortal. Make him pay. Find the ugliest monster you can find, something truly revolting, and use your arrows to make him fall madly in love with it.”
Henry’s stomach twisted. He hated using his arrows. The thought of making a mortal fall in love against their will? He didn’t like it one bit. Forcing them to fall in love with a monster? That’s downright cruel. However, he didn’t feel like facing Gran’s wrath. Especially when today was already such a good day. It wasn’t like he could refuse anyway.
“Okay,” he muttered, regret already settling in his gut. “Do you know anything about this mortal?”
“Does it matter?”
Henry sighed internally. Of course it does! How else will I know who to shoot? But he doesn’t say it out loud. Deep breaths, Henry, deep breaths.
“Just wanted to know,” he said lightly, walking towards the window. “I will go and do it now.”
Then, without another word, he leapt and soared out of the window.
જ⁀➴ ♡
“Hazza! What brings you here?” Pez greeted Henry brightly, ushering him inside.
Pez’s house was luxurious, over-the-top, and comfortable in a way that made Henry feel like he shouldn’t be allowed to sit down. Not that it stopped him. He had been here more times than he could count.
“Would you like some tea, Hazza?” Pez offered, already halfway to the kettle.
Henry shook his head. “I need information.”
If anyone knew anything about this Alexander person, it would be Pez.
“Straight to business?” Pez tsked, but he didn’t seem bothered. “You wound me, Hazza. But fine, what are we unraveling today?”
Henry explained his situation, telling Pez about Gran’s fury, that apparently the mortals are worshipping someone else instead of Gran, and the punishment she had planned. The more he spoke, the more Pez’s eyebrows climbed up his forehead.
“So,” Henry finished, rubbing the back of his neck, “do you know anything about this Alexander person?”
“Are you seriously going through with what that witch told you to?” Pez asked, frowning now.
“It’s not like I have a choice.”
“There’s always a choice.”
“Not when she’s involved.” Henry’s voice had gone quiet, tense. “Please, Pez. Just help me?”
Pez didn’t respond. This alone made Henry nervous. It was rare for Pez to be quiet. Is he going to refuse? Henry stared, frozen. Pez silent was never a good sign. The silence was deafening, and each passing second seemed to stretch on forever.
“Fine.” Pez finally answered.
“Really?” Henry jolted up in disbelief.
“Of course I will help you Hazza, but on one condition.”
Henry groaned. “Of course there’s a catch. What is it?”
“I have a plan. And I need you to follow it exactly.”
This made Henry pause. It wasn’t that Pez’s plans were bad exactly, but they always came with a side of chaos. Still, this was his only hope. Plus, Pez’s bizarre plans had a weird way of working out - one way or another.
“Okay, what’s your plan?”
“Well,” Pez said with a mischievous glint in his eye, “it depends.”
Henry frowned, confused, but chose not to dwell on it. Pez was always up to something, after all. This was probably another one of Pez’s antics.
“On?”
“Details, timing, fate, the color of the moon tonight, who knows?” Pez winked.
Henry wrinkled his nose. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“Since when do I make sense?” Pez grinned and then clapped his hands. “Now sit tight, Hazza! There is a lot I can tell you about Alexander.”
And there was. Pez launched into a rather enthusiastic monologue about Alexander (and his sister and best friend as well) and how he was a prince, adored by mortals, and blessed with looks that rivaled the gods.
“-and his sister? An absolute goddess. And she’s a mortal! Can you believe it?”
“Pez, please stay on topic.”
“Right, right! Of course, Alexander. He’s said to be more beautiful than that witch, you know? But his sister-”
“Pez, please.”
“Okay, okay! But did I mention his best friend yet?”
“If you say one more word about his sister or his best friend-”
Somewhere in the middle of all this rambling, Henry realized he was sipping on some Earl Grey. He didn’t even remember accepting the tea, but enjoyed it nonetheless.
“He’s just your type, Hazza!” Pez announced suddenly. Henry nearly spat his tea out.
“What? ” He asked in disbelief.
“I’m just saying! Gorgeous, clever, moody, you’d be perfect together!” It didn’t take long for Henry to put two and two together.
Henry stared, wide-eyed. “This is your plan, isn’t it?”
Pez just shrugged, but he was far too pleased with himself. Henry, still in disbelief, sank back into his chair. He may be lonely, and painfully single, but he couldn’t possibly imagine being able to get a lover. Gran made sure that his so-called “dalliances” would never see the light of day, squashing any spark before it could ever become something real. If he ever were to get a lover, it would be of Gran’s choosing.
“As much as I appreciate your concern, I’m not making someone fall in love with me. It must be of their own volition.” Henry said quietly, “It has to be real. It has to be their choice.”
“Listen, Hazza, this is for your own good! You’ve been single all this time, and you need someone in your life that cares for you other than me and your sister! Someone who actually sees you!”
Henry shook his head. “Pez, you know what Gran would do if she found out.”
“So what? That witch has already decided for so much of your life! Ever since your father has been sent to rule the Underworld, she’s had you on a leash! You deserve better! You deserve choice.”
That stopped Henry cold, because it was true. He was tired. Tired of being pushed around. Tired of pretending not to care. Tired of being alone. Tired of Gran walking all over him. After decades of hiding, a small, dangerous flicker of hope sparked in his chest. This might work. Maybe, just maybe, he could make a decision for himself. Still, he had to be careful.
“Okay,” Henry relented, “but I mean it. No manipulation. Not even a drop.”
Pez grinned as if he didn’t just shift the weight of Henry’s entire cosmos. “Oh, Hazza, trust me. Alexander’s going to fall so hard for you, ballads will be written about it!”
Henry couldn’t believe what he just agreed to. Still, a part of him hoped that Pez was right.