Chapter Text
---
My eyes shoot open.
No grogginess, no stretch, no sleep in my bones just wide awake like I never even slept.
That alone feels wrong. I’m not used to waking up like this. It already feels off.
Everything’s blurry.
And not just a little bit *wrong* blurry.
It hurts to focus.
I try anyway.
The first thing I see is… grass? No wait… a cliff?
Yeah. That’s it. A cliff.
Why the hell am I at the bottom of a cliff?
I push myself up, hands sinking into the grass. It feels too real. Wet, almost.
I glance around, but everything’s foggy. Like when someone shines a flashlight straight into your face in the dark.
> “Fuuuck... my eyes.”
I rub at them, like that’ll fix anything.
Doesn’t.
Everything’s still a blurry mess.
Maybe Sam was right. Maybe I *did* ruin my eyes with all that late-night gaming.
Great. Glasses now? That’d kill the style that Trish and I worked so hard on.
Whatever. I spot a big tree off in the distance its shape barely cutting through the haze.
Guess I’ll head there. Shade might help.
I start walking. The air feels heavy, like it’s pushing back against me.
Then I hear it.
Water.
Fast, crashing, angry. Not relaxing at all.
But before I can even think about that
I hear *something else*.
Crying.
No... *wailing*.
Like someone’s heart is being ripped out.
It freezes me.
Every part of me wants to turn around, get the hell out of here.
But... I can’t.
This dream whatever this is
I’m not in control.
I’m just *here*. Watching. Trapped.
Step by step, I get closer.
And it gets worse.
That tight, sick feeling in my chest? It won’t go away.
Like something awful’s coming, and I already know what it is.
I already *know*.
I push forward anyway.
And then I see them.
My dad.
On his knees.
I’ve never seen him like this before.
Not then. Not ever.
He’s breaking.
And next to him
Mom.
Her voice is shaking. Her hands are shaking. Everything about her is... *wrong*.
She didn’t deserve this.
None of them did.
*I* didn’t deserve them.
> “...please don’t leave us... please... oh Raptor Jesus, please, honey, tell me you’ll save him...
> he can be saved, right? Please... please tell me he’s okay...”
> "RIPLEY, PLEASE!"
That scream punches right through me.
This is it.
This is *the* moment.
The one I never talk about.
The one that made me wish i wasn't picked.
The one that *ruined* everything.
**The accident.**
The one I caused.
I want to move.
Run to them. Stop it. Say something.
*Anything*.
But I can’t.
It’s like I’m not even in my own body anymore.
Like if I was in the passenger seat before, now I’m not even in the damn car.
Just stuck watching it crash in slow motion.
My family...
the people who gave me a second chance,
who made me feel like I belonged
they’re kneeling over my baby brother’s body.
He’s gone.
And it’s my fault.
I want to scream. I want to tell them I’m sorry.
But my mouth won’t open.
My legs won’t move.
I just stand there. Frozen.
Watching.
Again.
Like some sick punishment, over and over.
Is that what this is?
Rewatching the worst moment of my life until I can’t take it anymore?
Yeah...
I probably deserve it.
I shut my eyes.
Tight.
Maybe if I can’t see it—
Maybe it’ll stop.
But I still hear her.
> *Mom’s voice.*
Please, no. I can’t—
I don’t want to hear this again.
> “Naser... baby... mommy's here
> I’m so sorry...
> Please open your eyes, tell me how fast you were able to run at school today.
> Tell me you want that pizza from Moe's that you love so much.
> It's our fault... I'm so sorry... my baby....
> I’m so sor—”
The way she's hugging the limp body of my brother, the blood, please make this stop.
> “STOP THIS! NO MORE!- !”
Something shifts.
Fast. Hard.
Like a rope snapping inside my chest.
Suddenly I *know* something’s wrong.
More wrong than it already was.
I feel it crawl up my spine.
My hands start to shake. My whole body tenses.
I try to back away
but it’s too late.
My parents are frozen... but... he...
He moves.
Naser’s body
it *moves*.
His head turns.
Twisted neck. Broken bones, wings. Doesn’t matter.
His eyes are open, devoid of light. And they’re looking *right at me*.
Dead eyes.
Still eyes.
But somehow... aware.
> “...Olivia.”
---
I blast out of bed. That was the worst one yet.
I’m sweating bullets through my scales my pajamas clinging to me like I just crawled out of a damn pool.
Dried blood on my hands.
Guess I dug my claws into my palms again.
Now I finally notice how fast my heart’s going slamming against my ribs like a war drum.
It worries me a little... but there’s this messed-up part of me that wouldn’t mind if it just gave out right now.
I force myself to breathe slow, trying to quiet the boombox my chest turned into.
I glance out the window. A palm leaf greets me.
And the dark of the night. Of course.
“Great. Incredible start to my return to that prison they call high school.”
I check my phone. 4:37 a.m.
Yesterday’s messages from Reed and Trish are still there they actually seem excited. I wish I could feel the same.
No point lying here. I drag myself to the bathroom.
First things first, wash the blood off my messed-up hand.
Then I face the mirror.
“Hair’s growing out again… I hate maintaining this stupid style.”
Pause.
“…Nah. Nevermind it’s grown on me. Thanks, T.”
I go through my morning rituals like a zombie.
Then I hear something outside the bathroom door.
All I can do is hope that when I open it, *he’s* not the one outside.
---
By the time I’m downstairs, dressed and armored up, I find Rip already in the kitchen. Silent.
Still not over our last fight, clearly.
Whatever. That’s a win for me.
We share the usual awkward breakfast until he finally breaks the silence.
“Liv… honey”
There he goes again. Deadnaming me. I want to shout at him *"IT'S CLAW"*.
It’s too early to start another war, so I let it slide.
“I hope you’re gonna behave today. No accidents, okay?”
God, he’s pathetic.
This tank of a ptero could stop a moving car with one hand, but look at him… groveling like this, just to keep me calm.
I bite down the bile.
Even in my head, that thought’s too cruel.
“Okay, Rip. I’ll give you that much, no accidents. For today.”
I catch a little smirk forming on his massive, stupidly kind face, i´ve only seen that face when he's with me.
Why is he like this? After everything I’ve done… after how far gone I am…
Why does he *still* try?
“I can give you a ride if you’d like. No cuffs this time.”
He chuckles.
*Raptor Jesus, why.*
“I’d rather walk today, Rip. This break got me a bit out of shape. You know how Sam is.”
“Mom cooks the meanest meals. I understand, I mean *"Look at me!"*”
I hate this, yesterday we screamed at eachother for hours, we even made Sam cry...
Why is he so nice to me?
How many minor felonies does it take for him to finally give up?
And Mom...
Holy shit. I don’t even want to go there.... She's the reason im not making a somersault into a red stain on the pavement gymnastics routine... I don't want break her heart even more
---
On my way to that concrete prison they call school, I check my phone one last time.
6:21 a.m.
January 6th. Year 201M2020 BC.
Volcaldera Bluffs.
Weather conditions:
Cold as shit.