Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Paxton knew his friends were going to like Devi but he couldn’t help but feel so proud to have seen her socialize all evening. The girls really liked her, and even though they were way more Devi’s type than the friends he had in high school, he was just proud of her. And hopeful. Hopeful that they were finally going to work out. Like they were supposed to from the beginning. He always felt the timing was wrong, and finally it didn’t feel like that. Of course the distance was a thing, but it didn’t feel scary or like a burden. They were going to handle that.

Not too long after their late evening stroll the couple entered Paxton’s dorm again. Devi let out a loud sigh as she let herself fall on Paxton’s bed. ‘‘You have a great bed, you know that?’’

‘‘I know. You’re welcome to come sleep in it anytime.’’ He said from the kitchen.

Devi let herself slide from the bed and walked towards his small kitchenette.

‘‘Nightcap?’’ He looked up to her from the fridge as she leaned against the doorpost.

‘‘Sure.’’ Devi hopped up on the small kitchen counter as Paxton grabbed two beers. He handed her one and leaned back against the fridge opposite of Devi.

He stared her up and down slowly, taking her in.

‘‘Stop looking at me like that.’’ Devi said as she folded her arms. On purpose.

‘‘Like what?’’ He took a sip of his beer as he let his eyes linger at her cleavage.

‘‘Like that!’’ Devi looked away for a moment but couldn’t help but let their eyes lock again.

‘‘Why?’’ He let his head fall back against the fridge with a thud.

‘‘Because it’s making me..’ She quit her sentence when he pushed himself off the fridge and shuffled a step closer.

‘‘It’s making you want what?’’ He asked.

‘‘It’s not making me WANT anything.’’ She took another sip trying to look like she wasn't affected by him. Paxton raised his brows and smirked.

‘‘Put the can down, Devi.’’ He said in a firm voice.

‘‘It’s not finished, yet.’’ Oh, how she loves this game. Paxton knew what to do with her occasional bratty performance.

‘‘Do it.’’ he breathed. Devi put the can down.

‘‘Are you gonna boss me around, Paxton?’’ She asked and he took a step closer.

‘‘Stop talking, Devi.’’ Another step closer.

‘‘Make me.’’

‘‘No.’’ Paxton said as he shook his head. He was now close enough to stand in between her legs and his hands closed over her knees to push them out a bit further.

‘No?’’ Devi tilted her head.

‘‘You have to listen.’’ He moved his hands upwards in one swift motion, gripping her upper thighs tightly.

‘‘No I don’t.’’

‘‘Stop talking.’’ He squeezed and let his thumbs dig into her hips. He was moving dangerously close to her center now.

‘‘You stop talking.’’ Devi whispered.

‘‘I do what I want, Devi.’’ He smirked, kissed her nose and turned around for another beer. After opening a new one he leaned back against the fridge door, keeping eye contact.

Devi grabbed her can from beside her and acted like nothing happened. ‘‘I like it when you’re being bossy.’’

‘‘I like it when your being bratty.’’

‘‘Good.’’

‘‘Good.’’

Devi downed the last sips of her drink, still watching him like a hawk. She paused and let her eyes watch his mouth as he took some big sips. That was all Paxton needed. He jumped forward and crashed his lips on her, his almost empty can falling on the ground. Devi gasped at the sound of it but that was only a welcome entrance for Paxton to immediately deepen the kiss with his tongue. Devi’s arms clamped around his neck. The taste of the beer combined with the smell of his cologne made Devi dizzy with anticipation. Finally, it was their time. Her hands roamed his back and towards the front and she started to pull on his shirt.

‘‘Off, take it off.’’ she breathed.

Paxton let go of her and grabbed his shirt on his upper arm and pulled it off in one swift motion. Devi laughed immediately, having a flashback from a dream she once had.

‘‘Why are you laughing?’’ Paxton said with a grin as he let his hands search her back and sides, looking for a zipper. Devi started kissing his neck.

‘‘Don’t laugh about it, okay?’’

‘‘Mmmhh...’’ he murmured, ‘‘I won’t’’ he said, concentrating on pulling down the zipper he found at the back of her neck.

‘‘I once had a dream about you and that was the exact way you took off your shirt.’’

‘‘So, it was a sex dream.’’ he pushed the zipper down. He pulled back his head to look her in the eyes. ‘‘Why would I laugh at that?’’

‘‘Because it’s embarrassing.’’

‘‘No it’s not. Do you have any idea how many sex dreams I had about you? Not only sex dreams by the way.’’

‘‘I don't care. Can we stop talking?’’

‘‘Oh, now you want to stop talking? Told you I wasn't gonna make you.’’ He slid the bands of her dress down her shoulders.

‘‘I know, you win. Now hurry.’’ She hooked her fingers into his belt and pulled him close against her. ‘‘I need you, Paxton’’

‘‘Yeah?’’ He asked with a husky voice.

‘‘Mmhmm..’’ She tried to sound agreeing but it turned into a moan when he sucked on the pulsepoint In her neck.

‘‘Let me feel how much you need me then.’’

He took her dress at the hem and pulled it up, gathering the fabric on her middle. Devi grabbed his head to kiss him again as she gave him better access by opening up her legs a bit more. His hand wandered down, pulled aside the fabric of her panties and dipped inside her folds. He let out a groan when he felt her wetness. A soft moan escaped her throat immediately. His light touch wasn't enough. Devi bucked her hips forward so he had better access. He pressed a finger inside and started to apply pressure to her clit. That made Devi only kiss him wilder.

‘‘Fucking hell.’’ Paxton whispered when he broke the kiss for a moment. ‘‘You’re so wet for me, aren’t you?’’ Devi nodded frantically, her eyes shut closed. When he pressed a second finger inside Devi almost lost it. She held on to his neck while he skillfully used his fingers on her. His other hand was everywhere all at once. He pulled her hair at the back of her head, pushing her legs out, squeezing her thigh. Then he roughly pulled down her bra and palmed her breast.

‘‘Pax..’’ Was all Devi could bring out with her face buried in his neck.

‘‘Are you close?’’ She nodded again. That was all Paxton needed to know. He started curling his fingers inside of her and that made Devi see stars immediately. He continued until her legs started to tremble and she pushed her hips into his hands. Her hands grasped the counter and she let her head fall back against the cupboard with a thud. ‘‘I..’’ She tried but couldn’t form words anymore. She didn’t need to as she started to tighten around his fingers as she felt the waves of her orgasm wash over her, her eyes squeezed shut and a tiny cry slipped her throat. She was grabbing his neck, trying to keep herself up but Paxton crept a strong arm around her middle, holding her up while she rode out the last shocks of her orgasm.

Slowly she opened her eyes again, looking into his. He pulled back slightly, allowing her to sit up again. Immediately she started fumbling his belt, trying to take it off. Paxton needed a second to realise Devi was already moving on to the next part. ‘‘Oh.’’ he mumbled. Devi chuckled.

‘‘We can move over to the bed.’’ He suggested.

‘‘No..’’ Devi looked up into his eyes. ‘‘I need you now.’’

He didn’t need another word. He quickly retrieved a condom from the wallet in his back pocket and opened it while Devi finally succeeded in opening up his belt and buttons of his jeans. He rolled on the condom as Devi took off her bra, as it sat uncomfortably on her middle.

‘‘Are you really sure?’’ Paxton asked. Devi nodded, scooting forward and opening up her thighs eagerly.

‘‘Because we can stop, of course.’’ He tried again.

Devi looked up again, and took hold of his face. ‘‘It’s very sweet of you to ask but yes, I’m really sure.’’ He nodded, deciding her confession was honest. ‘‘Unless..’’ Devi hesitated. ‘‘Unless you don’t want to, of course?’’ She asked unsure, closing her legs a bit more.

He grabbed her thighs and pushed them out again, a bit startled by Devi thinking he had even one doubt about having sex with her. ‘‘No, I want you.’’ He said firmly. ‘‘I desperately want you.’’ She chuckled. ‘‘Then what are you waiting for..’’ She whispered, pulling his face closer, foreheads against each other.

They both looked down as Paxton grabbed her hips, pulled her in more and lined up with her opening. He slowly started to push in. The intimacy of looking down together at them joining was the most erotic experience Devi ever felt. Overwhelming even. Just the thought of them finally having sex. She couldn’t believe how they finally ended up here. Devi was snapped out of her thoughts when Paxton spoke. ‘‘Shit, Devi..’’ he muttered, ‘‘I’m not gonna last long..’’ He sighed when he was finally in all the way. ‘‘So tight..’’ he murmured.

‘‘Ahh’’ She gasped in his ear, her breath stuck in her throat. Fuck, he was bigger than Devi ever had. Then again, she didn’t have that much to compare with, but Ben and Ethan had been decent in size, definitely average, she came to the conclusion talking to Eleanor. They might have been above average, but this was different. Paxton was thick.

‘‘Okay?’’

‘‘A second.’’ She managed to get out. He pulled back a little but Devi immediately stopped him. She smiled up at him. ‘‘Just a second.’’ He squeezed her thighs, pushing them out further, making room for himself.

‘‘Devi, I need to mo..’’ He started. ‘‘It’s okay.’’ She interrupted and he immediately answered by pulling out almost entirely and slowly but confidently pushing back in.

‘‘Oh my god.’’ She breathed. They were still looking down together. ‘‘You feel so good.’’ She added. Once accommodated to his size, it felt glorious. His strokes were long, possessive and slow. Devi savoured the feeling of being so full of him, her normal impatient behaviour suddenly forgotten.

‘‘Fuck, stop talkin’ or you’re gonna make me come to soon.’’ He said firm, speeding up his pace. Devi finally looked up and saw Paxton staring into her eyes already. Her mouth opened but no words came out.

‘‘I know, honey.’’ He murmured, pulling her closer, and picking up speed once again. She grabbed his shoulders, holding on for dear life as his movements became ragged and rough.

‘‘I’m close.’’ he managed to get out, ‘‘hold your leg for me.’’ He released one of her legs and reached between them to rub her clit once more. His rough thrusts combined with his skilled fingers made her build up her second orgasm right away. ‘‘Just like that.’’ Devi said breathlessly.

‘‘Are you gonna come for me again, Devi?’’ He asked. Devi nodded fervently, her face now buried in his shoulder, holding on for dear life as he pounded until his own release. Just a couple more motions of his fingers of her clit and she saw stars, clenching around him. ‘‘Fuck, Devi. Such a good girl.’’ He said right before he came with a low shout right in her ear.

Paxton had to hold himself and Devi up against the counter while they both catched their breaths, Devi just hanging numb around his shoulders. After a minute of catching his breath Paxton slowly moved out and pushed himself away from the counter. ‘‘Paxton..’’ He looked up and saw a smiling Devi. ‘‘I don’t think I can stand anymore.’’ She said with a giggle.

‘‘I’m barely able to as well.’’ He said, sighing, still catching a breather. ‘‘Hold on.’’ He said and placed Devi’s hands on the counter, so she could sit up herself. He walked towards the bathroom to get rid of the condom and to fetch something for Devi to clean up, stepped into a pair of sweats that was lying around on the floor and got Devi something comfortable to wear, too. He gave her the washcloth and stood before her. Devi took it gratefully and started to clean up.

Paxton scratched his head and took a deep breath. ‘‘What?’’ Devi asked as she looked up and saw him fiddling the sweatshirt for her, a deep frown on his face. ‘‘Why are you so nervous?’’ She asked as she gave him the washcloth back and stepped off the counter carefully. She got rid of her dress, still pooling around her middle and put on the sweatshirt.

‘‘I feel like I was too rough. This is not how I imagined our first time.’’

‘‘Oh. Did I do something wrong?’’

‘‘No! I did something wrong.’’ He pulled her into a hug.

‘‘Did you hear me complain?’’ Devi giggled into his neck. Now he laughed too.

‘‘No, but still. I wasn’t too rough?’’ he asked unsure.

‘‘No. I liked it rough. That was great, I feel great. You don’t?’’

‘‘I do.’’ He said, relieved to hear her answer.

‘‘Can we cuddle now?’’

He nodded and bent down to pull up her legs to carry her to bed.

----- the next morning.

Devi sighed comfortably as she snuggled up into Paxton’s side after waking up slowly together, her head on his shoulder.

‘‘I can’t believe I finally slept with Devi Vishwakumar.’’ Paxton whispered.

‘‘Uhm.. okay.’’ That made Devi spiral. After all his assuring words he did it only to sleep with her? ‘‘What.. do you mean by that?’’ She pushed herself up to look into his eyes.

‘‘I don’t mean anything by that, I just realised that after all these years were finally back together.’’ He pulled her back down.

‘‘Oh, wow, okay. You had me for a moment.’’ Devi chuckled.

‘‘What? Why? Did I say something wrong?’’ Paxton asked, now only realising Devi hadn’t liked what she heard.

‘‘No, I mean, yes, a little bit. I guess I’m just afraid this was just a one time thing were we like, fucked one out of our system.’’

‘‘No, no, no, Devi, listen.’’ Paxton sat up and flicked on the little lamp on the bedside table. ‘‘I just meant that I’m so glad we finally found each other again. Please say you believe me.’’

Devi nodded.

‘‘Shit, you know. This is what I meant when I said yesterday that wasn’t the way I wanted to have sex with you for the first time. I wanted to show that I really care a lot about you.’’ he told her.

‘‘It’s okay. I’m glad it happened, I enjoyed it very much.’’

‘‘Me too, but still.’’

‘‘It’s okay, we can try again later.’’ Devi smiled. ‘‘But, promise me we are not going to have a nasty break up again.’’

‘‘Of course not, I’m not letting you go again.’’

‘‘It broke my heart, Paxton. We need to talk about our problems before one of us jumps to conclusions.’’

He nodded. ‘‘I think we both didn’t handle that very good back then.’’ He added and pulled Devi up to sit next to him.

‘‘Long distance is gonna be hard.’’ Devi said with a pout.

‘‘I know Devi, I know. Do you wanna know what I think?’’ He asked, trying to catch her eyes. She nodded and leaned her head on his shoulder. ‘‘We will fight and we're going to not like each other sometimes but I’m not letting you go again, okay?’’ He gave her a tight hug.

‘‘How are you so sure this time?’’ She asked with her face against his chest. He pulled her in his lap so she was straddling him.

‘’We’ve both grown so much as a person and we're both so much sure about who we are. We know who we are without each other so I know we are both going to be better people with each other. We can learn from each other. And most of all, were coming from a place of friendship now. Not from an unrealistic image we think the other is.’’ He told her with his eyes fixed on hers.

‘‘How was I an unrealistic image?’’ Devi asked with a frown.

‘‘Do you actually think it was normal for me that a girl came up to me to ask me to have sex with her?’’ He caressed her side and he flicked his eyes down, only now realising she never put on any underwear after they went to bed the night before.

‘‘Yeah okay. You really have to mention that so often?’’

‘‘It still blows my mind to this day.’’ Paxton confessed with his hands in the sky.

‘‘You know what i gonna blow now.’’ Devi folded her arms.

Paxton chuckled. ‘’I feel you're talking over it. Seriously Devi, We're ready for each other. We're going to be a team.’’

‘‘You did not invite me to just have sex right?’’ She asked one last time.
‘‘Okay. You know what? Take off your clothes.’’ Paxton answered firmly and pulled her off his lap.
"Take ‘em off me.’’ Devi answered, not really understanding his vibe right now.
‘’No, take em’ off, put on your pyjama and get comfortable because we need to talk first.’’ Devi stared at him for a beat but then complied.
‘‘You were in your head all weekend, weren't you?’’ He asked when they were back in bed, Devi now wearing underwear and shorts with her hoodie but back on his lap, straddling him. Better, not that distracting, Paxton thought.
‘’Well, yeah, I always am. I overthink stuff, that's just who I am.’’

‘‘Okay let’s start talking about stuff. How was your first time?’’ He asked.

‘‘I'm not gonna tell you about it.’’ Devi answered defensive.

‘‘Why not?’’

‘‘It was with Ben! I can't tell you about it, that’s weird.’’

‘‘Yeah, you can. You can tell me everything. ‘’

‘’No.’’

‘’Devi, we can have open conversations about sex, even about your exes. That might even make it better for us.’’

‘’I don’t want to know about your exes. But.. I guess you're right. Okay, well, to be honest.. I have been nervous to sleep with you.’’

‘’Why?’’

‘‘Because I have this idea of you. Not like… the real you, I know that one. But the sex-you. The Hall-Yoshida swimming star-you. That's just 15-year-old-me still talking to me, I guess.’’

‘‘And you didn't have that with Ben so you weren't as nervous maybe?’’

‘‘Hmm, I really thought it was going to be you, you know. But then he was just there and it was the first time I actually felt sure someone wanted me so I just went for it.’’

‘’Makes sense. How was it?’’

Devi sighed, still not all the way comfortable talking about sleeping with Ben with paxton. ‘’Decent, I guess. Nah not decent. It was… eye opening? It wasn't what I expected. It was clumsy and awkward and I didn't really like it.’’

Paxton’s eyes had a hint of a glimmer for a moment. ‘’What didn't you like about it?’’

‘’It felt like I was doing it with a friend the whole time.’’

‘’But you got together with him later?’’ Paxton asked, generously curious about this situation.

‘’After I slept with Ethan.. that cleared my mind about the image I had of sex. I wasn't friends with him at all, not like I was with Ben. And then I realised I liked going from friends to lovers way more. So it opened my eyes about Ben and after that we got together. The sex got better too. Does that make sense?’’

‘’Yeah. i get it.’’

‘’How was your first time?’’ Devi asked, thinking it was his time to answer some questions.

‘’I don't really remember the first couple times that much. It was awkward and I didnt know what to do. I like to think the fifth time as my first. She was my girlfriend for a month, I liked her, she liked me and I don't know, it was nice.’’

‘’You were always so casual about sex.’’
"I was. Not anymore though, it was a wrong feeling. I guess the first couple girls I slept with didn’t make a big deal of it so that's how I came to think about it. I never realised that's not how most people, girls preferably, look at it, until I met you.’’

Devi chuckled. ‘’You’re welcome, you hoe.’’

‘’You really changed my opinion on sex and relationships. I didn't really want anything casual after we broke up.’’

‘’You got together with Phoebe after we broke up though. I hated that so much.’’

‘’I tried to go back to who I pretended to be before you. It wasn't right. It wasn’t fair to Phoebe either, actually.’’

‘’You had casual sex after that. You slept with Poppy.’’

‘’I know. I denied it for a long time. And I felt lonely. I was here, not doing well in school, and didn't have any friends. And having casual sex was my usual way of coping with hard feelings. So that's what I did.’’

‘’What has changed then? I mean every once in a while you might feel lonely.’’

‘’Yeah, like you, leaving in a couple hours. I know. What changed is I realised I was in love with you and I wanna have an old school boring romantic relationship with you. I don't want to have casual sex. I don't even really care about sex when I'm with you.’’

Devi scrunched up her face.

‘’No, don't get me wrong. I really really want to have sex with you. But there's other things I find equally important.’’

‘’Like what?’’

‘’I love to talk to you. I love to listen to you. I want to know about your day and what you dream about and what you had for dinner. How you liked your classes. I want to cuddle and stay in and cook with you and watch movies. I want to go on dates. Everything. Just everything.’’

‘’But why did that change with me? You didn't want that before in your relationships.’’

‘’I think I always looked for a connection with someone but never found it. You are not only a beautiful woman but also a very interesting one and I fell in love with your mind.’’

‘’Only my mind?’’

‘’You want to know all the things I love about you?’’

Devi nodded and smiled cheekily. Did she hear that word correctly?

‘’I love your temper and your wit. I like how you treat other people and your friends. I like how you deal with anything that gets in your way. I like your culture and how you're starting to embrace it.’’ He pulled her in for a small kiss.

‘‘I like your long hair and the color of it. It's so full and shiny and soft. The color of your skin. Your eyes, your lips. Your smile. How your emotions show on your face.’’ he let his fingers glide through her hair.

‘‘I love how your body is turning into a grownup woman’s body. Your cheekbones are maturing.’’ He let his hand follow the bones in her face, all the way to her jaw and neck. ‘’I love your collarbones. They're popping out a bit.’’

His hands traveled down further. ‘’I really really love these. They're perfect. They fit my hand exactly like they should. I like it when you cross your arms and then my mind instantly stops thinking about anything else.’’ He said as he squeezed both her breasts over her hoodie. He paused for a moment and then decided to take the hoodie off, taking her breasts in hand again immediately.

‘’I like your belly. It's soft and your waist has the perfect curve.’’ He traveled down her sides and then settled on her hips.

‘’Your hips are wide and feminine. Your legs are insane. I love the flesh on your thighs. I can grab and squeeze them just right.’’ Paxton explained as he let his hands grab her thighs and squeezed them.

‘’Your legs are long and even though they stopped working for a while, they carry you. I realise just now, we never talked about the time you couldn't walk but we will later.’’ Another lingering kiss while his hands traveled to her backside.

‘’You have a great ass. Excellent form. Nice and squishy.’’ He said as if he was describing something prize winning. Then he sat back again. ‘‘I like how you act in bed. You’re confident but you're a bit submissive and I feel like you’re into praising words. But you’re not so vocal yourself. It’s the complete opposite. I love it.’’ Devi nodded, agreeing with his conclusion.

‘’Now there's one place I've been craving for years. Now, once I got a taste yesterday, I can't think of anything else anymore.’’ He almost whispered and slowly let one finger scrape over the fabric that sat tight over her center.

Devi held her breath but couldn’t help but wanting to let him know too. ‘’Do you wanna know what I love about you?’’

‘’I would love to know.’’ Paxton answered and he retrieved his finger, settling for her hips. He was definitely hearing the word love, too.

‘’You make me feel safe. I love to talk to you, too. You make me feel seen. I always felt like you understood me, actually’’ She gave him a small peck.

‘’I love that you're so sweet. Your friends love you, and I get why. You're a good person, and you’re genuinely nice. You never have a second agenda. You do things out of love for another. I think I like that most about you to be honest.’’

‘’I trust you because you make me feel like I can. I love that you somehow know how to deal with my personality and my temper.’’ She smiled.

‘’I really like your family and I see a little bit of everyone in you. I love how you treat and protect your sister.’’

‘’I love how you tried so hard in school and succeeded because you worked so hard. If you want it you go after it. You wanted to go to college and you got in. You follow your dreams.’’

‘’I… like that you are so strong. And you can throw me around like I'm nothing. Its like you choose to treat me softly because in a way, you could easily hurt me.’’ She held onto his strong shoulders.

‘’I would never.’’ he said soft.

‘’No, of course not but you could. And you choose not too. That's hot. Also makes me feel safe.’’

‘’Good.’’ She squeezed a time, encouraging her to go on.

‘’I like how you're so athletic. I mean I like your muscles of course but I'm not that shallow. I like that you're so good at sports. You're disciplined and your body shows for that. The muscles and the six pack are a result of it. It makes you who you are. I do like a dad bod too, so don't worry if you gain some.’’ he said as she let her hands roam his pecks.

‘’You do?’’ He asked, genuinely surprised.

‘’Yeah, you know, a bit of manly squish. Not saying you should. Just dont worry if you do. You don't have to shave your chest hair if you don't want to, too, by the way.’’

‘’Okay, noted.’’ He gave a small nod.

‘’I like your hair. It’s soft and curly. I like to play with the curls in your neck.’’ She did as she said.

‘’I like that you're part asian. Makes us connected in a type of way. We’re both Americans coming from a different culture.‘’ Paxton nodded and hummed to agree with her.

‘’I like how you treat me in bed. You make it about me. That’s hot. Makes me want to give it back. Like, I really want to pleasure you because your not selfish to begin with.’’ He smiled at her praise. ‘’I think that I like that you're more experienced. It shows, but you're not cocky about it.’’ Devi added.

She sighed soft. ‘‘So yeah, that sums it up I think. Glad we got it ou..’’
‘‘I love you, honey.’’ A big grin appeared on his face as he saw the reaction on her face, doing the same thing, smiling. ‘‘I love you too, Paxton.’’