I'M DISTRAUGHT
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Summary
Scout’s gonna ask Sniper out. It’s gonna be clean, it’s gonna be good, and Sniper’s gonna be certified Wooed. Ain’t nothing gonna fuck this up, Scout’s been preparing.
Once he’s got ol’ Legs on top of him whispering sweet nothings, gyrating into him with reckless abandon, it’ll be a victory sung for the ages. It’ll go down in history as one of—nah, the best—moments of seducin’ ever seen by man. His crowning achievement, something on par with Tom Jones’ “What’s new Pussycat?” That is to say, fuckin’ brilliant. Something Medic would say ‘Wunderbar’ at, because Scout’s pretty sure that means ‘fuckin’ brilliant’.
Ain't nobody gonna be suckin’ Sniper’s dick but him.