1 - 20 of 111 Works in Roach Has the Brain Cell (The Witcher)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt is nearly sure that he is being followed, while in a field he gets to test his theory and becomes the muse of a God.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,410
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    356
  2. Tags
    Summary

    We've all read the stories where Jaskier collects Witchers, well my friends this is where the Companions of Witcher's Collect Jaskier.

    OR

    The one where Roach loves her noisy-foal and so do the others.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,897
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    655
    Kudos:
    3,301
    Bookmarks:
    939
    Hits:
    42,519
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier meets another bard who seems to be perfect for him in every way. Geralt doesn't like it.

    “What surprises me,” Jaskier continued, “is that there’s a musician of such skill and I’ve never heard of him. He wasn’t at Oxenfurt, doesn’t compete in the tournaments and big festivals, has no reputation whatsoever. He knew all my songs but had none of his own to play. With talent like that – not to mention a face like that – he’d be a sensation. Melitele, Geralt, is this what envy feels like?”

    I don’t know, Geralt thought. I’ve never been envious. Have I?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    82,500
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Comments:
    292
    Kudos:
    505
    Bookmarks:
    101
    Hits:
    8,492
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt would probably prefer he went to bed and left him to his hunting. Jaskier would prefer it as well. But he also preferred to sleep knowing his witcher was safe at his side. He would get no rest at all if he was fretting over the possibility of finding him unconscious under a pile of rubble knocked loose by the griffon he was sent to hunt. Or half-frozen and septic in some swamp after being ambushed by a particularly nasty water hag. Or tied to a tree in his skivvies by a jilted succubus. Or…

    ~~~~

    Or, Geralt went out on a contract and didn't make it back by the time the tavern closed. It's up to Jaskier to find out where his dear witcher went. Shenanigans ensue.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,905
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    632
  5. Tags
    Summary

    At the fourth stumble of the morning, Geralt’s patience breaks. Fine, the little fool is too stubborn to see he should leave and get it over with. Geralt will do the hard work for him, will simply move so fast that the bard has no choice but to end this farce already. He shifts his posture, squeezing Roach gently with his legs to urge her on faster-

    -and nearly goes flying purely out of surprise when she gives him a warning buck, a single crow hop before she settles again.

     

    (there's a reason mares lead herds)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    2,966
  6. Tags
    Summary

    After traveling alone for over a year, Geralt ends up in a town for a contract. He was not prepared to ever meet Jaskier again after the mountain. Now that he is confronted with his past mistakes, will the Witcher find a way to make up for them?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,555
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    191
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    2,443
  7. Tags
    Summary

    "Rest my-!" The bard's voice leapt an octave, and the witcher winced once more. "Geralt, how can I rest my voice when I need so badly to rehearse?! I suppose you think I can just waltz into an inn and pull a song out of thin air. Nobody has any respect for artists these days. Do you know how much work it takes to maintain these vocal cords, and now they're compromised...!"

    ~

    Jaskier gets a cold.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,676
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    245
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    2,452
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier knew who he was immediately.
    In his bones, the wind, her whispers, his heart; he knew him so tenderly.
    Knew he was his.
    Jaskier's Destiny.

    Geralt had no fucking idea why this fool was talking to him. Or why his blue eyes seemed to glow so brightly in the dimness of the tavern, but he was so kind; and no one was kind to Witchers.

    Maybe that should have been the first warning.

    __________

    In which Jaskier has the gift (or curse) to see the future, and the ability to take the skin of a deer. As if that wasn't enough, his possessive ex won't leave him alone, the world is prophesized to end; and the Destiny of him, the girl at the center of it all, and the Witcher he's Destined for, rests upon his shoulders.

    And that's all a secret.
    So don't tell anyone ;)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    97,336
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    266
    Bookmarks:
    92
    Hits:
    8,497
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier is trying not to slip.

    When he does, Geralt is panicking at first.

     

    I plan this to be pure fluff but idk.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,789
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    315
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    4,701
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Hi! So I have a weird aversion to finishing my stories. This "book" will be filled to the brim with my Geraskier ideas and/or scenes I have in my head that I'll probably never get written down. All of these are up for grabs! If something here inspires you to write/finish a geraskier fic then by all means go for it! All I ask is you comment your fic so me and everyone else can read it!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    349
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    615
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Almost of its own volition, Geralt's hand passed across the bard's eyes and twisted into the sign, and when he barked "Axii!", what he really meant was, take all pain from him.

    The familiar chime of his medallion was loud in the silence that followed. Jaskier relaxed entirely, his eyes flickering shut, and for one horrible moment Geralt thought he'd killed him.

    ~

    There's a strange magic woven through this bard, and Geralt isn't sure how to fix it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    78,371
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    345
    Kudos:
    974
    Bookmarks:
    245
    Hits:
    18,586
  12. Tags
    Summary

    "There's no brothel here," Jaskier says between gritted teeth, clenching his fists to keep his hands away from his crotch.

    "I can find someone--" Geralt says.

    "WHO?!" Jaskier screams. "Quite the come on, 'oh, if you don't fuck me raw to oblivion and make me cum a thousand times, I'll die'. Bet they'd just drop at my feet, begging for my dick."

    Geralt doesn't correct him, and Jaskier turns on him with fire in his eyes at his silence.

    "Wait...will I--?"

    Geralt hangs his head, speaks to his feet. "Not a thousand times, but...yes."

    "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!”

    Geralt wishes he was.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,847
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    656
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    7,572
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt thinks he knows everything about taking care of his human companion. Then Jaskier falls ill.

    Or; Somebody drugs Jaskier. It goes as well as you expect.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,328
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    300
    Bookmarks:
    44
    Hits:
    3,270
  14. Tags
    Summary

    It was an unassuming morning in the middle of a harsh, biting winter that Julian had first laid eyes upon the butcher.

    **
    OR: An AU in which Jaskier is a young noble trying to escape his family's tyrannical clutches, and Geralt is (quite literally) the butcher of Blaviken.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,547
    Chapters:
    8/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    148
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    2,382
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt and Jaskier travel to Kaer Morhen for the winter. But things are never that easy, and after an encounter with a mage they are suddenly faced with a new problem.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,729
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    106
    Kudos:
    628
    Bookmarks:
    80
    Hits:
    9,376
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt said his blessing would be to not have the bard around anymore? So be it. Jaskier would do just that, he would take himself off the witcher's hands... But apparently the mountains and her more monstrous inhabitants have other plans for the bard.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,166
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    392
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    4,188
  17. Tags
    Summary

    “You didn’t have to throw that guy through a table you know.” Jaskier says absentmindedly plucking at his lute as he walks beside Geralt down the dusty path.

    “He was being an ass.” Geralt reminds him.

    “Yes, well it did get us kicked out of the inn though so maybe not worth it?” Jaskier says still plucking at his lute more than likely trying to subconsciously perfect a tune that would soon make an appearance in one of his latest songs.

     

    Just a cute little one shot I dreamt up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    545
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    102
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    703
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Aiden quickly assessed that the man on the horse was not a threat, and without hearing any other signs of life following, he rushed to the man’s side. The horse came toward him and nosed his hand, as though looking for assistance with her rider. Aiden put his hand on the horse’s muzzle and rested his arm on the man’s leg, shaking and calling softly as not to startle him. The man groaned, and his eyes flickered open. He looked startled, but then cast his eyes down at Aiden’s medallion and stilled. Aiden wasn’t even sure why he still wore it after his betrayal, but something about its presence seemed to calm the man, who started to slowly shake his head as if to clear his thoughts.

    “Are you alright?” Aiden asked.

    “Mmmm, no, we’re in trouble…” is all the man got out before he slumped forward onto the horse again.

    ***

    Aiden has been betrayed and left for dead. He decides to travel to the stronghold of Kaer Morhen to seek out his closest friend, Lambert. Unaware of the location of the keep, he travels through the Blue Mountains, encountering an unconscious man on a horse. He realizes the man had been traveling with a Witcher, and that something dire has befallen the pair.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,114
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    1,170
    Bookmarks:
    63
    Hits:
    9,005
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Morning came far, far too soon for Dandelion’s tastes, and judging by Lambert’s expression upon waking, it came too soon for him as well. Geralt, meanwhile, was already bustling about, preparing to head out as soon as possible. They ate, reapplied their layers of clothing, and headed out, three men and two horses plodding through the snow. More had fallen overnight, and it now rose up over the tops of Dandelion’s boots. Geralt encouraged him to ride Płotka while he could, as soon the trek would become steep and harrowing enough that riding her wouldn’t be an option, so Dandelion did as he was told.

     

    ~

    Dandelion travels to Kaer Morhen with Geralt, and meets the other witchers (and witches) who winter there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,076
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    320
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    2,000
  20. Tags
    Summary

    At this worst possible moment, a breathless, nervous giggle burst from him, but the line about at least buying him dinner first died on his lips as the witcher snarled and Jaskier felt a teeny, unusual twinge of genuine fear.

    "Get in the way one more time-" Geralt ground out each syllable in turn, pinning him to the bark with his glare as much as his fist "-and I will leave you at the next inn for good."

    ~

    Desperate not to be left behind, Jaskier keeps a dangerous secret.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,921
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    310
    Kudos:
    1,216
    Bookmarks:
    260
    Hits:
    14,488

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