basically Jon thinks that Martin is over him and he's big emo about it
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Summary
"I really loved you, you know."
The statement was in the past-tense, unavoidably so. Like ships passing in the night, it seemed that Jon had come to his senses enough to love Martin anything close to the way he deserved just as Martin finally got over whatever had possessed him to care for Jon. So Jon had no right to the way Martin held him, at least no right to feel so at home in it. If Martin wanted to be affectionate with him, Jon didn’t think he could find it within himself to stop him even if he wanted to, but he would have to do his best to meter the fluttering of his heart and keep all his unwanted emotions tamped down.