i think this might be one of the funniest things i've ever written
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You Turned Around (And You Stole My Heart) by negativefouriq
Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender
27 Aug 2022
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Summary
“I’m gonna be honest with you,” he says, shoving some cans on a shelf, “I get paid less than minimum wage, which is legal because I am a student. My manager has yelled at me no less than four times since I clocked in, one of which was for the fact that it was raining and I did not beg god hard enough to stop it. If you fold your hand into the shape of a finger gun and inform me that you’re robbing the store, I will personally put every dollar from the register in your pocket and then ask you to pull the trigger. My soul is so dead that I don’t even have a joke for it. I don’t give even an eighth of a shit if you steal that cabbage.”
For the first time since his speech, the employee glances at Keith, and then does a double take. Some light seems to return into his deep brown eyes.
“Actually, you’re cute as hell,” he says, and Keith goes red. “Take two cabbages.”
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OR: Keith steals from Wal-Mart. He feels like it must be a little justified, because the hot employee stole his heart.