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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Draco Malfoy was well on his way to resurrecting his family’s name. He’d embraced the idea of settling down with his pureblood heiress and breeding her like their ancestors intended, letting his cock wander on the side.

    Unfortunately, his wayward libido kept leading him back to the same exact place.

    - OR -

    Crime Boss Draco Malfoy engages in a decades-spanning affair with Minister for Magic Hermione Granger. Chaos ensues.

    Please Note: This fic does not have a posting schedule. Each chapter is a vignette based on a different song, and the only through-line you really need to know about is that they be cheatin'. They're both toxic, but in like a fun way.

    This fic in no way condones the use of the endearment “pookie”. I know it’s awful. Hermione knows. Draco knows. And if you also know, then you’re in on their joke.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,847
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    233
    Kudos:
    408
    Bookmarks:
    135
    Hits:
    11,473
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Persephone Granger-Weasley, Dominique Weasley, and Vanya Stryde return to Hogwarts for their second year of magical education… but for the Minister’s werewolf daughter, her part-Veela cousin, and Hogwarts’ first vampire, their second year at Hogwarts will be no calmer than the first.

    Also, because people sometimes seem to think it is: this is not your tranny-approved ticket for a guilt-free Potter fix, don't get in my ear about how this makes you feel less guilty about engaging with the fandom. It's explicitly meant to critique Potter and its writer, and I am not a Harry Potter fan. It's just in the form of a story because that's what I'm good at. This is not a work of fandom, no highly esteemed story is commemorated here. This is especially true of Birds of a Feather, which is only ever not a critique when I am effectively telling my own original story. The only reason I haven't taken it down and stripped out the serial numbers is because a solid chunk of the story relies on addressing the actual consequences and horror of those serial numbers that are often consequences of JK Rowling's IRL beliefs.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    250,400
    Chapters:
    56/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    215
    Kudos:
    321
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    24,846
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Draco attempts to remove his dark mark one night before the turn of the millennium, only to wake up twenty-five years later face to face with his future.

    [Podfic Included!]
     

    ----
    “Perhaps I should qualify my question,” Draco pinched the bridge of his nose. “Who are you to me? Since you seem to know who I am.”

    Scorpius propped his feet up on the footstool that most assuredly hadn’t been there the day before.

    “I ought to know who you are. I'm your son. The question is, how did you get here?”

    “My son?” Draco asked sarcastically, it was patently impossible that this teenager was his son.

    “Welcome to 2024.” Scorpius gestured widely. “Now, any idea how you got here?”
    “Twenty–you mean…” Last Draco knew, it had been the end of December 1999.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,488
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    251
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    3,008
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Hermione Granger has it made; she’s the Minister for Magic, the youngest ever and the first Muggleborn to maintain the position. Her best friend is the Head Auror at the DMLE. Under their close eye, she’s sure the Ministry will flourish.

    The problem? She can’t stop thinking of her security detail.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,257
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    152
    Kudos:
    236
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    4,127
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Rcently divorced and single dad Harry leads him to have feelings for Malfoy, little did he know his future would pan out with Malfoy in it

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,023
    Chapters:
    5/12
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    663
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Being the Minister for Magic's daughter isn't easy. Not when she’s put on a pedestal, hates her job, and has a sinful crush on her best friend's father.

    On Christmas Eve, Rose picks a new path, proving she's nothing like her overbearing mother.

    “I'm the same age as your father.”

    “Maybe you are my father…” Rose saunters toward him, decanter in hand. “With the way my mother looks at you — we can't be sure.”

    Courtesy of her too-high heels, she trips, swearing like a sailor as dark liquor sloshes.

    “No.” Draco gestures vaguely in her direction. “That's all Weasley.”

    Or is she just like her?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,494
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    99
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1,377
  7. Tags
    Summary

    The desk of the Minister for Magic has surely seen war and peace; begging and bargaining; and all manner of vices.

    But Hermione Granger has never been content simply matching the accomplishments of others.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,806
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    69
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1,469
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter defeated Voldemort and the Wizarding World ushered in an era of post-war bliss. Now he's a skilled Auror in a Ministry that's becoming fanatically anti-pure blood and also trying to fight a mysterious rise in crimes of Dark Magic. And he's a father. And it's his second son that's starting to unearth some truths about himself that Harry really would rather keep buried. Age doesn't make certain scars fade-that takes growth- and out of all the challenges currently in his life, the one the scares him the most is that he might no longer be the hero he was at seventeen.

    Set to the POV of many characters but mostly Harry/Albus.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    244,131
    Chapters:
    53/?
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    130
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    8,505
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Draco hates the Minister. The Minister hates Draco.

    But they’re both also hella horny.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,812
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    103
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    2,148
  10. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,314
    Chapters:
    1/5
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    344
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Draco Malfoy has been laid low after the trials and has nothing better to do than avoid the darkness waiting for him in a stripped and desolate Manor, in the absence of an Azkaban-bound Lucius and a frail and ailing Narcissa. Draco's proficiency with charms and potions is the closest he will ever get to having his Mother and Godfather back, and all he needs to get himself as far away from the legacy his Father left him. In the scrutiny of those who have not forgotten his crimes, Draco has plenty to prove. It is in the exhausted indifference of everyone else that he is granted the opportunity to bring about real change for all the victims of the war.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,128
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    377
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Harry refers Draco to the Ministry, believing he will be able to conquer a new uprising threat in the magical world. Draco cannot escape his past, somehow finding himself back to where his nightmares started. With help of a skilled legilimens, he is able to reveal many unexpecting secrets and truths and revisit his bitter relation with Hermione Granger, who can’t seem to crack him.

    -

    "Don't bullshit me, Granger." Draco's voice fills the car, causing Granger to shut up, and stare at him. "You don't want a death eater in your home. Reasonable request, I don't blame you."

    "Okay, fine. My house isn't cluttered, I just hate you." She says, her expression blank and difficult to decipher.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,872
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    488
  13. Tags
    Summary

    After receiving McGonagall’s offer to fill in for the newly retired Potions Professor at Hogwarts, Draco thinks his life is finally starting. However, he quickly finds himself entangled with Harry Potter when a strange mark appears on his body, and unfortunately, on Potter’s, too. Old emotions start to resurface, and Draco has a lot on his plate, managing the growing tension between himself and the DADA Professor, all while handling Slytherin house and making sure not to repeat previous mistakes.

    Or, the one where a strange mark links them both, and he thinks it’s a soulmate bond.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,299
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    350
    Bookmarks:
    101
    Hits:
    9,943
  14. Tags
    Summary

    A terrible fate has befallen Draco Malfoy: his hair potion is discontinued, and it's all his wife's fault.

     
    I came up with this after seeing a series of TikToks talking about how clearly Lucius Malfoy failed as a parent because he didn't teach Draco about the correct hair products for his platinum shade.

    Rated Mature for Language and Occasional Reference to Sexy Times.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,411
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    256
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Hermione Granger - Minister of Magic

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    62
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Hermione meets Draco in a disused safe house, in search of relief that only he can give her.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,898
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    152
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    2,636
  17. Tags
    Summary

    As a woman in her thirties, Celeste believes she has reached her peak. Not too happy, not too sad, she lives every day for the next.
    A letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry arrives on her doorstep changing everything.
    No longer an outcast, she quickly has to adjust into this new world and soon realises she may have just found what she was made for.

    Part 1 is now complete! Part 2 will be coming in Feb 2026.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,353
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    143
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Все це відбувалося всього на одній маґлівській вулиці. На тій самій, де стояв старий паб із облущеною вивіскою Відбійний гном. В середині стояло задушливе повітря, змішане з густим сигаретним димом, запахом пива та дешевих парфумів.

    Саме тут, у цьому пабі, сиділа Герміона Ґрейнджер — нинішня Міністерка Магії, одна з найвідоміших чарівниць свого часу, спостерігаючи за життям інших людей, за їхньою безтурботністю.

    Language:
    Українська
    Words:
    9,546
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    16
    Hits:
    120
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Harry feels empty. All the emotions he once felt in his life are gone. He doesn't laugh, he doesn't cry, he doesn't feel anything, just the emptiness of his soul and the absence of what was once there.

    It has been three years since Voldemort died, three years since Harry lost the horcrux inside him. Now, the Ministry sends him a letter, forcing him to reclaim all of the late Lord Voldemort's personal belongings, including his corpse.
    When Harry is forced to take the Dark Lord's body home in preparation for his funeral, he discovers that, when he touches it, all his lost emotions return to him, as if he still has that piece of soul in him. Now Harry must decide between losing his emotions or keeping the corpse of his enemy for himself.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,720
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    119
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    1,929
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Fleur Delacour, restless and confined by a "perfect" marriage, has secured a 90-day conditional freedom from her husband, Bill Weasley. Determined to redefine her life and reclaim her identity, she arrives in Paris as a Hunter, seeking a thrilling conquest.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,574
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    117
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    2,415

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