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The Fractured Asshole by SuperGuy653355
Fandoms: South Park, South Park: The Fractured But Whole - Fandom
02 Dec 2025
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When 50 year old Cartman had chosen to help his old friends out to change the future, he prayed to God that when he was done, he would still end up in a home at Colorado Springs, with his loving wife family. Of course, he would not know that his decision to help change the future would lead him to be a miserable drunk, with no home to go to, and no family who loved him.
Because, he never went back to the new future.
Instead, Eric Cartman wakes up in his room, 40 years in the past, with memories of his life in the future, and seeks to get his family back together.
However, he soon realizes that his mission will become a lot more complicated.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,955
- Chapters:
- 1/?
- Hits:
- 1
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Random MMU + TMUA Headcanons by 34stars
Fandoms: Murder Most Unladylike Series - Robin Stevens, The Ministry of Unladylike Activity Series - Robin Stevens
02 Dec 2025
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Just a list of various MMU and TMUA headcanons I have. I'm pretty sure I've only put ones I came up with myself, obviously someone else might have thought of the same headcanon as me, though.
Enjoy
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𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑑, 𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑜. 𝐼𝑡'𝑠 𝑎 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑡ℎ 𝐸𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑒 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑠 𝑓𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦. 𝐼𝑡'𝑠 𝑎 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐵𝑢𝑐𝑘’𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦'𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑒'𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑛𝑜 𝑟𝑢𝑠ℎ 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑢𝑠ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦'𝑙𝑙 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦, 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒. 𝑆𝑜 𝐵𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑛𝑜𝑤, ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑢𝑛. 𝐸𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑠𝑝𝑜𝑖𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 ℎ𝑖𝑚. 𝐼𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑑, 𝐵𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑠 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑖𝑚.
𝑂𝑟
𝐵𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐸𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐵𝑢𝑐𝑘 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛. 𝐸𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑠 ℎ𝑒'𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝐵𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 - 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑'𝑠 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠.
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A fluffy, modern Highschool AU that follows sassy punk, Levi Ackerman and lovable dork, Eren Yeager, as they fall for one another.
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Swapsaken (Spade's AU) by Spadenadduo for x_Arcticfox_x
Fandoms: Forsaken (Roblox), Roblox (Video Game)
01 Dec 2025
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Sooooo I haven’t found a SINGLE Swap AU x 007n7 fic except for stuff in oneshots, so I’m like, “If nobodys making this, Imma make it”, so this fic was born in a google doc using my dang school account.
And EVERYBODY, yes, EVERYBODY, EXCEPT THE KIDS, will be in this 007n7-centric harem. Everybody’s swapped EXCEPT for 007n7, so it's a swap AU x OG!007n7 fic. Will add more characters soon, maybe even the NPCs in the lobby, but now, it’s mostly just the playable characters.
This is a FORSAKEN SWAP AU where The Spectre was bored and decided to swap EVERYONE except 007n7, who had accidentally glitched out into The Spectre’s limbo and then didn’t get swapped, then The Spectre decided to make EVERYONE fall in love with that single father yay!
This was inspired by: “Love Bug” by TVgirl000, and “007n7’s guide to friendship! (Gone Wrong)” and also “Why is everyone looking at my dad in a weird way?” by Anonymous
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Bruce can’t help but be suspicious. Ed is wearing a suit, something obviously high quality but a little oddly cut. Avant garde, maybe, by some obscure designer. He’s missing a tie, but it’s hard to tell if that’s a style choice or if he’d just lost it somewhere along the way. The whole thing is badly wrinkled, as if he’d left in a hurry and hadn’t had time to pack. It speaks well of him.
Or it’s designed to give an impression that speaks well of him.
or: how Tim Drake starts on a journey to heal his childhood one step at a time
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Fighting shadows ASMR (GONE WRONG!!)
3M views 5 hours ago42,053 Comments
Top CommentsAnon 3 hours ago
Joker what the fuck
28K LIKES 8K DISLIKES
Joker (✓) 3 hours ago
it wasn't me. i promise... :)
34K LIKES 10K DISLIKES
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“If you want me to feel sorry for doing it....it won’t happen.” - said Robert confidently, and Aaron didn’t see him being confident ever since Kev left his flat. The last time he saw Robert this determined, he was telling Kev that he would always choose Aaron. And even though it made his heart melt, he was supposed to be mad at him. He risked his life to go against a psycho!
“Robert…”
“No, look.... I didn’t even know I was gonna do it, alright? I just did. It wasn’t a choice. It was instinct.” - he shrugged. And how could Aaron be mad at him when he says things like that?
or....
After Kev's gone from the flat, Aaron takes Robert to the hospital. When they come back, Robert doesn't want to go to the flat; he wants to stay at Vic's. After settling there, they talk about what happened, and when later on, Robert has a terrible nightmare, Aaron comforts him. -
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In the remains of Vox's divine weapon, Lucifer appeared nearly forgotten. However, it was the most unexpected of sinners—equally injured and battered—who reached out a hand and pulled him from the wreckage.
The Demon’s hand lingered—a disconcertingly warm weight on the King's upper arm—waiting to ensure Lucifer was steady on legs that felt like crumbling stone. The foreign, sustained contact made Lucifer’s skin prickle, but it was not the expected nausea of disgust. To his utter horror, deep in the marrow of his bone-deep exhaustion, he found himself profoundly relieved to feel the slightest bit of a comforting, steadying presence—a touch that was not administered in pain or malice. He had been utterly alone in the wreckage, surrounded only by the ghosts of his own inadequate power, and now the unlikeliest of sinners was showing the rarest, most forbidden form of basic consideration.
“Careful, Bambi,” Lucifer murmured, the nickname laced with a dry, venomous sting. “Someone might actually start to think you have a heart."
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The story of Julian Guerrera, a Drone named Ace and thousands of other Humans and Drones as they survive the Absolute Solvers war on life in the galaxy. Scavenging ships, running for their lives, and fighting back when they can.
This is not required reading to understand Desperate Attempt but I encourage you to read it so you know who they, and the faction they are from, are when they show up.
Series
- Part 1 of A Series of Desperate Attempts.
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Courtney gets horny at work and needing help out of a costume gives the perfect excuse to be alone with Shayne
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Baekhyun never expected his father’s best friend to be the one stuck babysitting him for the summer. At forty five, Chanyeol is all sharp edges and strict rules, a man who keeps his house—and his emotions—spotless. Baekhyun, fresh from heartbreak and itching for trouble, makes it his mission to crack that polished armor.
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Two weeks after the end, they find him.
He shouldn’t exist.
Yet, he breathes.[Indefinite schedule for new chapter uploads. Focusing on building the story first, a living narrative; chapters may be revised at any time. Raeiun's gift to herself.]
Series
- Part 1 of Plume and Hearth
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earthquake drills by gemini_in_tauro for Reddorebel
Fandoms: 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
01 Dec 2025
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The day Mia had to go to the city and take the LSAT, Maya and Miles were left alone in the house.
Maya is about ninety-nine percent certain that Miles doesn't know how earthquake drills work.
Series
- Part 1 of Lovely to sit between Comfort and Chaos
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“It was a date. When you and Marisol ran into me and Tommy, it was a date.”
“Marisol thought she was pregnant and I realized that I do actually want another kid, but not with her.”
The simultaneous, overlapping confessions hang in the air like an executioner's axe as Buck and Eddie stare at each other with wide eyes, both blue screening a little as they process the dual bombs just dropped.
Eddie recovers first, his head shaking slightly. “Wait, you and Tommy? So you’re-?”
Buck makes a pained noise, hands flying through the air once he finally gets his brain working again. “Uh uh, that is not the important thing here; Marisol is pregnant?!”
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Buck's coming out scene looks a little different when Eddie admits that he wants to have a baby.
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Karkat practically flies up the stairs to the meteor’s roof. He can’t hear anything over his own breathing, but he feels the snapping of blood from blood.
He feels when things are wrong. And oh fuck, are they ever wrong. He feels like he’s going to throw up, but he just forces himself to fall up the steps even faster. Don’t be late again. Don’t fucking do that, Vantas.
He stumbles out, heaving in breaths as he takes in the scene, brain working furiously to compensate for the terror thrumming in his veins and the pounding of his head.
(Updates Sundays)
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The Brain — is wider than the Sky —
For — put them side by side —
The one the other will contain
With ease — and You — beside —The Brain is deeper than the sea —
For — hold them — Blue to Blue —
The one the other will absorb —
As Sponges — Buckets — do —The Brain is just the weight of God —
For — Heft them — Pound for Pound —
And they will differ — if they do —
As Syllable from Sound —Emily Dickinson’s “The Brain — is wider than the Sky —” (1896)
Series
- Part 3 of The Promised House of Butterfly
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Pierro is a cunning man, that much is know across the fatui and the nations of Teyvat. An yet, there is little else that is known about the Director of the Fatui Harbingers, shrouded in mystery. But beneath all that, Pierro is a vengefull man, simmering in his rage for as long as needed until the timing is due. And now, 500 years after the Khaenri'ahn cataclysm, one of his most awaited plans is finally taking shape. Not only can he begin his revenge on the gods of Celestia, but also on those who wronged him when his nation was at its worst. The boy had been hidden from him years ago, but know that the Jester knew his true potential he couldn't allow the young Alberich to run free while letting everything he had to offer go to waste. Wether he likes it or not, Kaeya Alberich will meet his destiny, and Pierro will make sure to be the one claiming the glory of it all.
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Or: A story based on my Khaenri'ah and Kaeya headcannons. Basically Pierro wants to kidnap him to fullfill his own agenda and revive their homeland. Kaeya suffers and his friends do his best to find him with little to no clues. Mind the tags! -
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pencil goes to a party, goes home, and ends up kissing golfball
or
stupid ass drunk lesbians can't handle feelings
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The path towards the sun, towards freedom, is not an easy path. Ace, Sabo and Luffy, three brothers with dreams of seeking such freedom, know this better than anyone. Five years on, and it almost seems hopeless. But perhaps a few helping hands, and an old pirate's offer, can give them everything the world had tried so hard to take away.
Or:
How Ace, Sabo and Luffy were slaves once, and how a family of pirates help them break their chains.
(Cross-posted from FF.net under Sesshomarusama3)
Series
- Part 1 of When Our Hearts Were Filled With Gold
