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2013-10-24
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Runs in the Family

Summary:

He had his doubts, at the beginning, whether leaving Loki and Thor on Midgard to learn all the things a wise king should know – teamwork, responsibility, thinking before reacting – would be a good idea, but Frigga had convinced him. Now Odin is starting to see that perhaps they might actually be under good tutelage, with a sensible man like Fury being in charge.

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Odin really did not plan to go to Midgard personally to discuss something like this, but he feels he has no other choice. Clearly, giving his sons time to clear up their differences on their own has been the opposite of helpful and apparently, it is time for their father to get involved. Nevermind that his sons both already have a millennium under their belt and should really have learned to share their toys by this point.

The first Midgardians he meets are all dressed the same, and all very nervous. Clearly they know of Odin's reputation, but considering that Loki is one of the two sources they might have gotten stories about him from, Odin really is not sure whether that is a good thing or not. ...rather, he's pretty sure it might not be. If Loki has told these Midgardians the story of that time he practiced his magic and somehow managed to transform his father's sword into a snake and Odin definitely did not screech like a little girl (he was surprised, as anyone would have been! It never happened anyway), Odin will take Loki back to Asgard and have him sit in on petition hours under the guise of "teaching him responsibility". Within the week Loki will be so bored he will beg Odin for forgiveness; some things never change.

The nervous mortals lead Odin into a building and into a room, where they bow a lot and tell him that "Director Fury" will be with him in a moment. If Odin had not had Heimdall tell him the Midgardians' names he would be very confused now and wondering why they wish to send someone who directs anger to him.

As it is, Odin takes a seat in front of the desk dominating the room and looks around, taking in the absolute lack of any sort of decoration. He does not have to wait long: soon Director Fury, the one responsible for supervising the band of warriors Odin's sons have joined (and he sure does not envy the man the task), enters the room.

He is a warrior. Odin did not expect that, yet it is plainly obvious in his gait, the way he holds himself like a leader, not to mention his battle scars. Fury meets his eyes without fear or intimidation and does not bow and scrape like his underlings did either. Instead he growls, "Please tell me you're here to take those two idiots back."

Not many people talk to Odin Allfather that way, and certainly not about his sons.

Curiosity piqued, Odin raises one eyebrow. "What destruction have they wrought this time?"

Fury tilts his head and appraises him. "Apparently Stark paid too much attention to Thor and Loki took offense. Something about honor, blahblah, I don't listen when they try to explain to me why it was necessary to destroy a building in the process of settling their differences."

"Listening to their explanations only makes one feel the need to punish them harder," Odin nods in agreement. He had his doubts, at the beginning, whether leaving Loki and Thor on Midgard to learn all the things a wise king should know – teamwork, responsibility, thinking before reacting – would be a good idea, but Frigga had convinced him. Now Odin is starting to see that perhaps they might actually be under good tutelage, with a sensible man like Fury being in charge.

"Exactly," Fury agrees with a nod, something almost like a smile playing around the gruff man's lips. "These morons need to learn that sharing is caring or whatever and that "I licked it so it's mine" only applies in kindergarten."

Very sensible man. "I agree completely," Odin nods. "Though I suppose in the spirit of fatherly loyalty, I must add that if they only destroyed one building before their differences were settled, they are definitely improving."

Fury snorts. "Whatever, so long as you keep funding them I don't care. Though I probably gotta admit, you know for diplomacy and all, that Loki's come a long way since he tried to destroy the whole of New York, so whatever you did to punish him was very effective, but don't tell anyone I said that. Come to think, how did you punish him? Neither of them will say, they just keep makin' vague references about how horrible it was."

Odin smiles serenely and says nothing. Ah, petition hours.

Exhaling noisily as he realizes that Odin does not intend to tell him, Fury crosses his arms. He seems more amused than displeased, though. "So, why are you here? Suppose it must be something big if you come down personally."

Odin does his best not to blink or otherwise show his surprise when he realizes that... he cannot recall. Why did he come to Midgard? It was something about Thor and Loki, that much is certain.

Well, no matter. He'll remember eventually, and in the meantime... "I wished to discuss my sons' recent conduct with them, but I see you have it well in hand. Tell me, how do you punish them?"

Fury grins suddenly. "Nuh-uh, no tellin', tit for tat. You show me yours, I show you mine."

Odin smiles.

When he eventually returns to Asgard – still not entirely sure why he went to Midgard in the first place, but not really caring anymore either way – Frigga takes one look at him and starts to laugh. Eventually, she manages to say, "Like father, like son," then starts laughing again at his expression.

 

PS:

Thor is practically trying to climb on top of Loki, clinging to him and wailing about the horror he has witnessed. Loki's expression is one of shock, mixed with a little bit of disgust and maybe even some fear.

Tony chortles, "No, but it actually makes sense! Between them they have one complete set of eyes! It's a match made in heaven!"

Clint is preoccupied with something else; he looks completely disturbed. "Does that make us step-siblings? Like, if your father and my boss..."

"Oh god," Loki says and covers his rapidly paling face with one hand. Thor has degenerated to whispering "no no no" and burying his face in Loki's neck, like the world will go away if he doesn't look at it.

"I think you are all overreacting," Steve says with as much dignity as is possible for somebody with a beet red face. He was with Thor when they walked in on... that. "I think it's beautiful they found love so late in life."

Loki makes a strangled noise, pushes Thor off him and runs off for the bathroom. Instead of showing his boyfriend some sympathy Tony is howling with laughter and only gets louder when Natasha says, "I don't think it was love they found, Steve," which prompts Clint to cover his ears and start singing "lalala" really loudly. Thor remains crumbled on the floor where Loki pushed him and mumbles something about wishing really hard the mortals had already invented this thing called "brain bleach" they keep mentioning.