Chapter 1: And All That Jazz, Part One
Chapter Text
“Come along, Cosima. We’re going to be late and they don’t allow latecomers – it says it on the ticket!”
She isn’t even within ten feet of Alison before she’s getting berated and, actually, they aren’t even late yet. She thinks of turning around but her feet keep moving and she swallows back whatever witty retort was brewing, cocks her head a little and smiles sweetly.
“Hey, Ali, I’m, like, so sorry to have made you wait,” she croons, laying a warm palm on Alison’s stiff forearm (it doesn’t relax under her touch). “Train was delayed again.”
“Oh, really?” Alison blinks and seems to stiffen even further. “And was the train delayed because it was smoking marijuana?” She whispers the last part as her eyes go wide, and Cosima has to stifle a laugh.
“Ah,” she starts, stalling, but comes up with nothing. “Look, how about I make it up to you by getting us a bottle of wine for the show? I’ll even get white, just as a peace offering, you know?” Cosima squeezes her arm and makes her way through the glass door of the theatre without waiting for an answer.
She knows that Alison is following because she can hear the fast clacking of her heels behind her, and she starts unbuttoning her coat as she strides towards the bar.
“Fine,” she hears Alison huff. “But then we’re heading right in to find our seats.”
“You got it,” Cosima grins over her shoulder and rolling her eyes when she turns back to the bartender.
She orders their bottle, accepting the plastic cups that they need to take in and noting where the bottle will be left at the interval, and takes a moment to enjoy the pre-show buzz that inhabits the foyer.
It’s busy, but not uncomfortably so. A good audience for whatever musical Alison has signed them up for this time. Cosima would prefer a different kind of night, where she wasn’t restricted to a seat, where the music was loose and fluid and where she could be too, but she promised Ali that she’d come to see a few shows with her as a thank-you for putting her up when she broke up with her ex earlier in the year.
Plus, none of their other sestras could bear Alison for this amount of time and Cosima considers herself to be sympathetic to the arts and even kind of likes the shows sometimes, if they’re well done and the tunes are catchy enough.
That this one has women dancing around in little to nothing might have had an input into Cosima’s keenness to see it is neither here nor there. Obvs.
There’s a bing-bong from the speakers that has Alison in a flap again, and Cosima’s being pulled by her free arm into the auditorium even though they still have a good five minutes to get to their seats, which are nicely situated mid-stalls.
“So sorry, excuse us,” Alison chirps as people stand up to let them pass, and Cosima’s hoping that the show begins before Alison has the opportunity to reprimand her again for her almost-tardiness. She loves her sister; she does. It’s just that sometimes she can’t believe that they were made the same but have turned out so differently.
They’re in their seats way before curtain up, anyway, and Cosima takes the opportunity to shrug her coat off and pop it on to the vacant seat to her left. Alison’s already sipping eagerly at her wine and turning her phone off.
“All good, Ali?” Cosima checks and is rewarded with a genuine smile now they’re actually sat down and ready to go.
“Mmm hmm,” Alison nods. And then more softly, “Thank you, Cosima. For coming with me. I know it’s not always something you look forward to but I do appreciate it.”
Cosima feels like an ass and shakes her head as she nudges Alison’s thigh. “Hey, that’s not entirely the case, like, all of the time. And I enjoy spending time with you. Ok?”
She dips her head to try and show her sincerity but Alison isn’t usually one for being open with her feelings so she pats Cosima’s hand like they’re old ladies who just met on a park bench and Cosima pulls her hand back, grinning and shaking her head.
The house lights start to go down, then, and she’s just about to take a sip of wine when she hears a whisper close to her ear.
“Excuse me, I am sorry to bother you but I believe that your coat is on my seat,” the voice says, and Cosima whips her head around so fast that she almost catches the woman in the face with one of her dreads.
“Oh, God. So sorry,” she’s managing to say, though she has no idea how because the woman leaning over her is an absolute vision. “Here,” she tries, and moves her coat onto the floor in front of her seat, forgetting to worry about whatever might be on it.
The woman, with large, dark eyes and pinned up blonde hair, smiles a big, toothy smile and starts to lower herself into her seat.
“Thank you so much,” she whispers again. “I am not usually late to these things so I understand that you thought the seat might be vacant, but I just had to get a glass of wine, you know?”
As she speaks she leans her upper body toward Cosima’s, letting their shoulders bump together, and Cosima feels her mouth go dry as she catches a whiff of what can only be a very expensive perfume.
She wants to ask a million questions (Where is your accent from? Why was it so important to get wine? How on earth did you end up sitting right next to me? Will you marry me?) but the curtains are beginning to open and the music is starting, so she settles for an, “I hear you, dude,” as she raises her glass in solidarity.
The smile and the mouthing of the word cheers has Cosima’s gaze fixed on the woman’s lips, so much so that she needs to shake herself out of whatever trance she’s been put in and turn towards the stage where the show has started without her even really noticing.
Several scenes pass before she realises she isn’t paying the slightest bit of attention, so she shakes her head and takes a sip of her wine, hoping that it will start to relax her. Wincing at the sharp fruitiness, Cosima clears her throat lightly and leans back in her seat. Next to her on one side, Ali is sat with her back straight and fingers lightly tapping against her thigh, engrossed already, and Cosima allows herself a small smile. It’s nice to see her sister like this, in her element and starting to unwind; Cosima just wishes she could do the same.
It doesn’t help, then, when she feels warm breath in her ear, followed by quietly, softly, (and, with a French accent?) “Have you seen this show before?”
Turning her head, she finds the other woman’s face very close to hers, and it takes Cosima a moment to remember how to connect her brain to her mouth, and then dips her head towards the woman’s ear, their cheeks brushing together gently in the process.
“Uh, no,” she manages. “Just the movie.”
Cosima, head almost in the woman’s neck where a few stray blonde curls are dangling, catches the faint smell of a perfume she doesn’t recognise but instantly memorises, moves her head back just in time to catch the woman’s eyes sparkle.
“Ah,” she whispers again, lips by Cosima’s ear again. “A philistine. I see.”
She’s about to object (mainly just so she can put her face back into the smell of perfume and, she thinks, perhaps cigarettes) when the woman winks at her and turns back to face the stage. Gawping momentarily in the direction of the woman’s profile, Cosima blinks, chuckles quietly to herself and tilts her head back to the show, tapping a crooked index finger against her lip as she wonders what the hell is happening (both on stage and off).
It takes some effort but she manages to get into the show, and it’s actually pretty decent (though, Cosima decides, none of the dancers are a patch on the stranger-cum-acquaintance who’s currently sat next to her, sipping delicately at red wine and nodding her head to the rhythm every now and again), so when the first act finishes it’s almost a surprise.
Her glass is almost empty so the first thing she does is down the remainder, and she’s about to turn to the woman next to her to offer a smile or ask what she thought of the first act when Alison grabs Cosima’s hand tightly.
“Oh, Cosima!” she starts, lips stretched wide into a big grin. “Isn’t it just wonderful?”
“Uhh…” she starts, turning her head to the left just in time to see the woman turn her back and start edging along the aisle. Trying not to feel too deflated, she manages a, “Sure,” and a smile in Alison’s direction, and tries to listen as Alison waxes lyrical about the production and drags Cosima back towards the foyer.
It’s not until Cosima spies some curly blonde hair and its owner making its way to the exit (to smoke, hopefully, and not to actually leave) that she resigns herself to paying attention to what her sister is saying.
“… personally I think she’s the best I’ve ever seen in this role and, believe me, Cosima, I’ve done my homework on this one.”
“Mm hmm,” Cosima hums, finding their waiting bottle of wine and topping them both up, feeling the plastic crinkle underneath her fingers as she grips a little too strongly.
Alison continues, only pausing to take a healthy swig of her wine, and Cosima wishes she had more to contribute to the conversation but, really, she’s just there to keep Alison company and her sister seems oblivious anyway, so there’s no real problem.
(Except Cosima knows why she’s distracted and that’s the real problem.)
Waiting for a pause, Cosima leaves Alison with their drinks and heads to the bathroom.
“Don’t be too long, Cosima! The second act starts soon and I will not wait for you past the five-minute warning!” Alison reprimands, but Cosima is already walking.
“You got it,” she shouts over her shoulder and is grateful for the tiny bit of a peace she gets whilst in the cubicle.
She has left it a bit late though, she knows, when she’s one only person there washing her hands, water running a little too hot under the faucet. It’s distracting, almost enough so that she doesn’t hear footsteps behind her until they’re next to her and hands are running the faucet in the adjacent basin.
“Hello, again,” a voice says, and it’s smooth and lilting and Cosima has to stop herself from closing her eyes and sighing into it.
“Hey,” she manages, though, and is rewarded with a full-on smile when she glances into the mirror.
“So, how does it compare?” the woman asks, and when Cosima, tilts her head in a question, she adds, “The show to the movie. Which do you prefer?”
“Ah, well,” Cosima starts, shaking excess water off her hands and approaching the hand dryer. “It’s cool, seeing it at the theatre, you know? It feels, ah, more real?”
Puffing out a small laugh, the woman smiles again, and even though Cosima knows she’s mocking her slightly she can’t help but grin back.
“Oui, it is certainly that. May I?” she asks, and gestures towards the dryer.
“Oh, sure. Go ahead,” Cosima nods, and starts to move her hands away. Before she can, though, she feels a damp hand placed lightly on her wrist, pulling it back in place.
“I did not mean to jump the queue – we can… share. Yes?”
Cosima, thrown again for the umpteenth time this evening, nods dumbly and allows wet fingers to trail up her wrist and across her palm, all the way to her fingertips, before they’re taken away and starting up the automatic dryer.
“Merci,” the woman smiles above the noise, and Cosima nods again, managing a bashful smile before staring directly at her hands, which were dangerously close to the other woman’s. If she moved even a little they would be touching – it was almost too much to think about after the ghost of her touch still lingered on Cosima’s fingertips.
All too soon, though, their hands are removed and the quiet takes over, and suddenly Cosima’s head is full of nothing.
“I, um, I have a confession…” she starts as she collects her purse from the counter. Cosima raises an eyebrow and takes a step forward.
“Oh?” she asks. “Is it that you’re secretly a fan of the movie too?”
She laughs, does the woman, like it’s surprised her, and she shakes her head.
“Non, I am afraid that I much prefer the real thing,” she pauses, lets that hang there, and tilts her head to the side. “My confession is that I… might have followed you in here.”
At that, Cosima has almost nothing. And she’s usually so cool in these situations, but she’s usually in a bar or a club, and once or twice in a coffee shop, and she’s had the upper hand. She’s usually the one to initiate and she knows she can walk away if she wants to – the control is hers.
But here, now, this woman is calling all of the shots and they have to go back inside and sit in the dark, side-by-side, or another hour and pretend they didn’t have this conversation.
Luckily, then, the moment is broken somewhat as the woman chuckles and says, spinning her hand around in the air near her head, “You know, saying that out loud sounds a lot stranger than it did in my head. I am sorry.”
“No!” Cosima’s saying then, quickly, flapping her own hands around as she speaks, taking another step closer. “No, no. Don’t be silly. I mean, yeah,” she laughs (they both do). “It could come off as a little creepy but I’ll let it go – on one condition.”
“A condition? Hm. We will see,” the woman says, one side of her lips twisting up into a grin. “What will it be, this condition of yours?” She takes a step closer so that, if Cosima wanted to (which she very much did), she could reach out to place her hands on the woman’s waist.
Shaking the thought away, though, she remembers herself (and, in the back of her mind somewhere, hears her sister’s irritated voice telling her not to be late) and puts her hand on her hip.
“Your name,” Cosima manages with more confidence than she thought she had. “The condition is your name.”
“Oh, well that one is easy,” she smiles and then, conspiratorially, in a stage whisper, “I thought you might have been a little more adventurous.” She raises her eyebrows once, and Cosima immediately questions everything that has happened in her life up until this moment.
“Well, why don’t we just start there?”
“Oui, bien sur,” the woman acquiesces and extends her hand. “Delphine.”
“Cosima,” she smiles, savouring the sound of the woman’s - Delphine’s - name as it rolls around inside her head and the feel of her warm palm inside her hand.
“Enchanteé,” Delphine smiles, and Cosima smiles back, even wider.
“Enchanteé,” she mimics, bouncing from one foot to the other.
Just then, the announcement that there are only five minutes remaining resounds throughout the bathroom and Cosima pulls her hand away first, instantly missing the feel of Delphine’s.
There is still so much more she wants to know, but it’s a start, and she knows that if she delays any longer she’ll spend the rest of the evening trying to get back in Alison’s good books (again).
“Come,” Delphine says then, as if sensing Cosima’s struggle. “I must get a refill before the second act begins. See you in there?”
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure,” Cosima nods, passing as Delphine holds the door open for her and keeping going as she spies Alison thrusting out a glass for her near the door to the auditorium.
“What kept you?” Alison starts, already on her way back in. “I was beginning to think you were in some sort of trouble.”
Glancing towards the bar, Cosima sees long legs beneath a tight black and white dress, and the most perfect ass she’s ever seen (and she’s seen a few), slender arms reaching out to pay for her drink, and the back of a neck that she remembers the smell of, and she thinks yeah – you and me both, sis.
~
As with the first half, Delphine takes her seat just in time, and Cosima greets her with a warm grin.
“I am not usually late to these sort of things,” she comments, sliding elegantly into her seat without spilling a drop of wine. “You must be a bad influence on me.”
“I can live with that,” Cosima remarks, and manages a wink of her own before facing forward.
She’s starting to feel like she’s getting back on track as the house lights go down, the brief reprieve that Delphine gave her allowing her to regain her composure, albeit unknowingly, and, hopefully, the upper hand.
It’s a better position to be in, and she pops one elbow on their shared armrest, the wine glass in her other hand balanced on her right thigh.
And she’s almost allowed herself to get completely engrossed in the plot of the second half (only almost, though, because Delphine’s is a presence not to be forgotten) when she feels it.
It’s almost imperceptible at first, so much so that Cosima takes a moment to register it. But, then, it’s unmistakable; there are the backs of fingers rubbing gently, tentatively, against the side of her thigh through her tights.
Instantly, the show in front of her becomes a blur, and the music and the singing becomes nothing but white noise, a murmur against the sound of her heart beating very loudly inside her head. It’s almost like being high – her senses are heightened but they’re focussed on one thing only, and that one thing happens to be the feel of a relative stranger’s fingers slowly rubbing up and down just where her skirt meets her leg.
She grips hold of her wine glass a little tighter, opting to take a sip to try and regain some sense of who she is, but it doesn’t work as the fingers continue to move, pushing a little further underneath her skirt.
At that point – and Cosima’s amazed that she can hold it together at all - the fingers shift and are suddenly pressing flat, fingertips now grazing the top and then, Jesus, the inside of her thigh.
Her breathing, she knows, is almost laboured but she’s trying not to let it show even as she feels eyes on her. She can’t turn her head, though – mostly due to the way her brain is slowly shutting down to reason but also because she’s scared that if she does then the owner of the fingers will stop and Delphine will move away.
So she stares forward, feeling a warmth building between her legs. One that she hasn’t felt for some time and absolutely not in a place like this with her sister sitting next to her, only inches away.
It’s then that she feels it – that breath next to her ear again – and she closes her eyes.
“Cosima. Can you be cool?” Delphine whispers, her fingers never ceasing their movements. “Nod once if you can.”
There is no option. Cosima nods.
“Good girl,” Delphine breathes, and Cosima feels her knickers dampen. “Pick up your coat from the floor, slowly, and put it across your lap.”
Taking a moment to steel herself (because what the fuck?) Cosima switches her wine to her left hand and slowly reaches down for her coat.
Chancing a glance at her sister, Cosima notes that Alison is far too engrossed in the show to pay her any attention, so she takes a breath and pulls her coat up slowly over her legs and, crucially, across her lap.
Without looking, Cosima can tell that Delphine is sitting up straight in her seat, just leaning a little closer to her than before, and that she is facing forward, her fingers still moving gently as Cosima leans towards their shared armrest.
She takes her wine glass back into her right hand in an effort to somehow shield what’s happening from Alison should she look over but it’s dark and no one cares what they’re doing. They could be anywhere.
Delphine’s hand, now flat on Cosima’s thigh, resumes tracing patterns, slowly, discreetly and deliberately. She’s in no rush to get anywhere fast, Cosima notes, and she’s almost grateful as it gives her a chance to collect herself, just a little.
Her eyes are fixed on nothing and everything on the stage, and as Delphine moves her hand a little further around her thigh Cosima spreads her legs on instinct (or at Delphine’s suggestion, which, at this point, seem to be intrinsically linked).
It seems to spur Delphine on, then, and her hand edges its way underneath Cosima’s skirt and, her little finger makes its first contact, just a light brush against Cosima’s now aching cunt.
She stiffens, which Delphine must notice as she stops moving, and Cosima couldn’t bear it if she took her hand away now, so she makes herself relax, unclenches her thighs and opens her legs just a little bit wider.
Delphine must get it because after a beat, she slides her pinkie up the length of Cosima’s cunt, just lightly, and then twists her hand around slightly so that all of her finger tips are following suit.
It’s a miracle, Cosima thinks, that she doesn’t moan out loud. And, okay, so she hasn’t had this sort of experience ever before (who has?!) but she does know about keeping quiet during sex (she used to be a student, after all) so she swallows it down, whatever is threatening at the back of her throat, and lets Delphine slowly begin to break her apart.
Her fingers push down harder, then, and Cosima feels the pressure even through tights and knickers, directly onto her pulsing clit.
It’s slow, the whole thing (too much movement would give them away, Cosima knows) but Delphine is pressing down in just the right place with the tips of her middle and ring fingers and it is doing all of the right things to Cosima.
She wants to touch Delphine, any part of her, but she knows that she can’t. She wants to know if her nipples are hardening, if her skin is warm, if her cunt is wet, and if it would open for her the way she wants to open for Delphine now.
It’s that thought that spurs Cosima on even further and she has to try desperately to keep still because all she wants to do is push herself into Delphine’s hand, to grind against her, to find release from the pressure that’s been building since (if she’s honest) she heard Delphine ask to sit down at the beginning of the evening.
She closes her eyes, then. She has to, as it’s all too much, all at once, and she’s feeling it now. This high, this drug that’s being administered, and she can’t get enough.
Delphine presses down again, and moves her fingers just that little bit faster, and Cosima’s jaw clenches.
And she doesn’t know why she does it, at that exact moment, but she leans her head back, ever so slightly, and lets her gaze drift in Delphine’s direction.
What she sees is enough to push her over the edge; Delphine’s eyes are squeezed tightly shut, her bottom lip held firmly between her teeth, and her chest is moving with the heavy breathing of someone who is desperately turned on.
Cosima can’t hold back then, and she lets out a sharp breath. It seems to alert Delphine, who is clearly incredibly perceptive, and she presses harder against Cosima’s clit, rubbing just that little bit faster.
Gripping the edge of her seat, and leaning into the armrest, Cosima’s lips form a tight ‘o’ shape and she looks at Delphine again.
This time, Delphine is looking right at her, one eyebrow slightly raised, still biting her lip and her face – it’s pure amazement, Cosima can tell, like she almost can’t believe what she’s doing, and then Delphine swallows and nods, and Cosima feels like she’s been given permission to break.
And she does, coming hard, so hard that she knows she just flooded her knickers, and she does not know how she’s staying so quiet and still as the waves roll over but it must be something to do with Delphine’s eyes, which have not left her own.
Delphine’s fingers push on, seeing Cosima through her orgasm, slowing and releasing the pressure as Cosima comes down, and she squeezes her thighs together as an indication for Delphine to stop.
She can feel herself breathing heavily so she takes a big gulp of wine as she does, feeling Delphine’s hand return to her thigh, holding her gently. She chances another glance then – Delphine’s eyelids are hooded, and Cosima can see her want showing, but then her lips break into a small smile, and she laughs, just quietly, softly, but it’s enough to make something clench inside Cosima’s chest.
She smiles back, baring her teeth, and Delphine’s smile gets a little bigger, and then she drops her head.
Is she bashful now? Cosima wonders with surprise (though, really, she knows that she should stop being surprised by any of the events of this evening as it’s all been entirely unexpected and completely awesome).
Risking it (because why not, at this point) Cosima slips her own hand underneath her coat and finds Delphine’s.
They keep looking forward and Cosima realises that this is the most nervous she’s been all evening, which is clearly ridiculous, but something unknots in her stomach when she feels Delphine’s palm slide into her own (again) and their fingers thread together.
The remainder of the show is spent like that, with each of them rubbing gentle circles across the backs of hands, warmth spreading through Cosima’s body in an entirely different way.
(She does think about attempting to return the favour but Delphine’s on her left side and, well, this is logistically difficult enough and she doesn’t want to be terrible when Delphine was so very good.)
Cosima has no idea what happened in the second half so, when the finale comes and Alison is sobbing into her now empty wine glass, she has no clue what to do other than (very reluctantly) remove her hand from Delphine’s, pop her wine glass on the floor, and start clapping.
She feels like she’s been given permission now, and she sneaks a peek at Delphine who isn’t clapping but is, instead, holding her right hand to her lips with her eyes closed, and Cosima feels her cunt twitch all over again.
Cosima can’t take her eyes off of her, this blonde vision of a woman whose accent is like butter, who is deliciously funny, and totally and completely filthy.
She wants more. She doesn’t want to have to wait.
As the house lights come up and everyone begins to stand, Cosima doesn’t make the same mistake as she did at the interval and leans over to Delphine before Alison can begin her emotional review of the last two hours.
“Delphine,” she begins, her voice low and her fingers on Delphine’s elbow. “I know this might be a little forward but… would you like to have dinner with me? Somewhere… dimly lit?”
Delphine chuckles, softly, and turns her head towards Cosima, her eyes sparkling.
“Oui, Cosima. I would like that very much. Also, I think…” and she leans in close to Cosima’s ear once again, and Cosima closes her eyes. “I think that if you don’t kiss me soon then I might just burst.”
Taking a sharp breath in, and feeling her stomach flip, Cosima squeezes Delphine’s elbow and leans back to look her in the eye.
“Well,” she says, glancing at Delphine’s lips and licking her own. “We can’t have that. How about I meet you outside in ten minutes?”
“Perfect,” Delphine smiles. “Until then…” She leans in and kisses each of Cosima’s cheeks in turn, oh so close to her lips, and turns on her heel leaving a flushed and eager Cosima in her wake.
“Who was that?” she hears behind her, and turns to find Alison dabbing at her eyes with an eyebrow raised.
“That?” Cosima starts, and then realises she has no idea how to say that that was the hot French woman who just made her come by just rubbing her through her tights in that seat right there and she’s going off to find her very shortly to continue where they left off.
Instead, she settles for, “Oh, that’s Delphine. We met earlier – I’m going to meet her for a drink when we’re done here.”
She’s so nonchalant that she thinks she’s got away with it, but Alison knows her (almost as well as she knows herself and the rest of their sisters) and the eyeroll she gets is textbook.
“Only you, dear sestra, can find a date whilst sat in the dark watching a show. Honestly,” she says, shaking her head and collecting her bag. “When did you even get time to talk?”
Cosima wants to laugh because, yeah, talking hasn’t been a big part of this so far, but instead she mentions the bathroom, and some bullshit about gaydar, and Alison buys it and drops the subject in favour of her routine review of the show.
They stop outside and Cosima spies Delphine standing just a little away from the doorway, smoking and looking unfathomably cool, and gives her a little wave.
Delphine waves back and breathes out a puff of smoke as Alison clears her throat.
“Right, well. Here is where I leave you,” she says brightly. “I will get a cab and you… well. You go and do whatever it is you do. Thank you for coming with me.”
She leans in to hug Cosima gently, clearing her throat as she pulls away.
“It was a pleasure. Honestly,” Cosima grins. And, well, it’s not actually a lie but she doesn’t mean it in the way Alison thinks. It does the trick though because Alison smiles and swats Cosima’s shoulder.
“Okay, enough now. I’ll call you?”
“Great. Dinner on Sunday, right? I’ll help Gemma with her bio homework?” Cosima offers because, as much as her sister gets on her last nerve sometimes, there is no way she’d turn away her niece on such an important subject.
“See you then. Toodles!”
“Later,” Cosima calls after her.
And then, taking a breath, she turns around and finds Delphine waiting for her, hands in pockets and hair whipping around her face in the chilled Toronto air.
“So,” Cosima begins as she makes her way towards Delphine. “Where were we?”
“Right about here,” Delphine says, and pulls Cosima towards her.
Chapter 2: And All That Jazz, Part Two
Summary:
Cosima and Delphine pick up where they left off after the musical.
Notes:
So, I think you might need to suspend disbelief a little on this one. Call it artistic licence?! Also, sorry it took bloody ages to get this chapter done. Very NSFW. Hope it's worth the wait!
Chapter Text
She’s lost in the moment, almost completely. She has no real idea how she got here, only millimetres away from kissing this gorgeous woman who has totally turned her world upside down this evening, but she does know that she needs to stop thinking and let it happen.
They’re almost there, so close that she can feel Delphine’s warm breath against her already open lips, and everything else melts away until –
“Ah, Delphine,” says a voice that’s far too close to them, and then the warmth is gone and Cosima, dazed, falters on her feet.
She opens her eyes to see that Delphine’s are closed, shut tight as she whispers a soft, “Merde,” into the cool night air.
And then she’s composing herself with a gentle squeeze to Cosima’s arm, and what looks like an apology in her eyes, before turning to her right to face the owner of what was already the most irritating voice in the world.
“Dr Leekie, I did not know that you were here this evening.”
“Didn’t have me pegged for a connoisseur of exceptional performance?” he says drily, with a clear gleam in his eye, and then gasps in faux-shock, holding his hand to his chest. “You wound me!”
He laughs like it’s meant to be a joke, not appearing to notice when Delphine forces a grin.
“Of course, that is not the case, Aldous. I know you are a connoisseur of many fine things,” Delphine squints out another smile as this dude – Dr Leekie – dips his head almost whispers into her.
“Indeed, you do,” he drawls and Cosima’s certain that, if her sleeves had been rolled up, she would have seen her own skin crawling.
Delphine has turned her face away from him and Cosima knows the look she’s wearing – creepy old dude trying it on. Again, by the looks of it. Gross. And so not cool.
It’s then she decides that she’s had about enough and takes a step forward.
“Hi,” she manages, brightly, thrusting out a hand to be shaken. “I’m Cosima.”
The man straightens up and turns his head; clearly, he hadn’t even noticed that Cosima was there.
“Cosima,” he says, regarding her, and taking the proffered hand. “Dr Aldous Leekie.”
“Yes,” Delphine says, and Cosima feels her relax a little, even though they’re not actually touching anymore. “Where are my manners. Cosima, this is my boss.”
It’s not lost on Cosima that Delphine doesn’t actually say who she is but, then, it might not be the easiest of explanations and she’s not sure that Delphine is particularly interested in extending this particular conversation.
She doesn’t mind, though, when she feels Delphine’s arm slide around her waist as Dr Leekie releases his grip on her hand.
“Pleasure to meet you,” she says politely. “Did you enjoy the show?”
“Ah, yes, very much. It always amazes me that people have such gumption, to stand there in front of people and perform so exquisitely. Fascinating.” He chuckles, and regards them both, eyes flittering between them.
Luckily, then, Delphine takes the pause in conversation to jump in and save them both.
“Mm, definitely,” she starts, agreeable yet dismissive. “It was lovely to bump into you, Aldous, but Cosima and I were just on our way to dinner.”
Cosima nods and smiles in agreement, moving her hip gently against Delphine’s.
“Ah, excellent,” Aldous smiles widely. “I’m feeling rather peckish myself. You two lovely ladies don’t mind if I join you, do you?”
Delphine stiffens again and Cosima knows there’s no real way to say no; he’s backed them into a corner.
“Of course not,” Delphine manages, again with the smile forced, and Cosima has to wonder if Delphine feels as disappointed as she is, and her imagination drifts to what Delphine’s underwear might be like at this point; is she as wet as Cosima is right now? She’s desperate to find out, but she knows that now, seriously unfortunately, is not the time.
“Great!” he creaks, leaning back and clapping his hands together, and then pulling Delphine’s free arm to link with his. “I know the perfect place.”
Setting a leisurely pace, he begins walking them both, talking about the wine at the restaurant he’s leading them towards.
“I am sorry,” Delphine whispers against her ear, and Cosima smiles and dips her head.
Yeah, Cosima thinks. Not as much as I am.
~
If it weren’t for Dr Leekie yammering on at them, Cosima thinks that she would actually really enjoy this restaurant.
It’s Italian, which is fine, but the mood is so chill that Cosima feels immediately right at home within its dark brown décor, the only light provided by candles and dim wall lights. There are books everywhere, lining the walls in high rising shelves, and the seating is separated into floor tables and booths.
They opted for the latter, towards the rear of the restaurant, and Cosima slides in next to Delphine as Leekie takes their coats to hang up.
“Cosima,” Delphine starts in a whisper, placing her hand on Cosima’s thigh. “I am so sorry. I did not know how to say no. He is my boss, you know? And he presumes he can just…”
“Hey, hey,” Cosima interrupts, placing her hand over Delphine’s, rubbing her thumb across her knuckles. “Look, I’m, like, not thrilled about this turn of events but I totally get it. And, you know, it could be worse.”
“Oh?” Delphine queries, raising an eyebrow as Cosima’s fingers trail a little further up her hand and over her wrist.
“Yeah. I mean,” she grins, locking her eyes with Delphine’s, trying to show her intent as best she can in the low light. “I could not be sitting here in my very, very wet panties imagining my head between your legs as you come in my mouth.”
Delphine gasps as Cosima pushes her fingers into the palm of her hand and rubs a firm circle in the centre.
“I see,” Delphine swallows. “Well, in that case, the only thing I wish is that you didn’t have to imagine.”
Cosima realises their heads have dipped towards one another’s and they’re close, again, so close, that Cosima feels the wetness pool between her legs once more.
“Me too,” she whispers, no longer smiling, as her eyes flick over Delphine’s lips, and then, suddenly, Delphine is straightening up.
Leekie, Cosima thinks before she hears him, and rolls her eyes as she sits back against the faux-leather seat.
“Now,” he starts, clearly oblivious to what he’s interrupting. “Who would like some wine?”
“Yes please,” Cosima and Delphine answer in unison, which seems to amuse Leekie no end and he beams at them across the table.
“Excellent. Red okay with you, Cosima? I know what Delphine likes. Mi scusi signore,” he says, flagging down a waiter without waiting for a response.
Cosima grits her teeth and lets the thought flit across her mind that, perhaps, Leekie isn’t just Delphine’s boss. He’s way too familiar and totally cocky. Perhaps, she wonders, this is something that has happened, not just something that he wants to happen.
As he’s ordering, Delphine leans in to her ear again, and Cosima struggles to keep her eyes open as she feels Delphine so close to her face.
“Do not worry, cherie,” she breathes. “He does not know all of the things that I like.”
There’s a soft kiss on her cheek, then, and Cosima realises that she’s tensed up and manages to relax again at the touch.
She grins and glances at Delphine who winks at her before Leekie turns around again.
“So, Cosima,” he starts, hands clasped together on the table. “Tell me about yourself.”
“Well,” she begins, and goes to move her hand away from where it’s resting in Delphine’s under the table, but feels Delphine tighten her grip, so she just lets it be. “I’m a PhD student here, just into my second year.”
“Oh? And what is it that you’re studying?” Leekie asks as the waiter returns with their wine, allowing him to take a sip before pouring some into each of their glasses.
“Um, Evo Devo,” she nods, taking her wine in her left hand as Delphine mimics her with her right, before stopping to look at her.
“What?” she asks, and Cosima grins, turning to look into confused eyes.
“Evolutionary Development. We call it Evo Devo here.”
“You are a scientist?” Delphine asks, eyes wide.
“Delphine, you don’t know what your friend studies?” Leekie laughs. “Bizarre, since your fields are so closely related.”
It’s Cosima’s turn to look confused as she tries to come up with something to save Delphine, but the blonde beats her to it.
“Um, yes, well. Cosima and I haven’t actually known one another all that long.”
“That’s right,” Cosima jumps in. “Actually, Delphine is my sister’s friend. From... pilates.”
“Right, yes. That is correct. And we three were meant to dine together this evening but unfortunately Alison was feeling rather light-headed after the show and took her leave of us.”
“Total bummer,” Cosima shakes her head, clicking her cheek as she tries not to laugh into her wine, completely impressed (and a little scared) of how quickly Delphine was able to lie.
“Well, it is a shame to learn that I could have shared this delightful bottle of wine with three beautiful women instead of just two but I am sure I will make do,” he chuckles and raises his glass.
Cosima does the same but grits her teeth as she does it, followed by taking a large gulp as she hears Delphine follow suit.
She’s going to need it, she thinks, if she’s going to get through this evening without saying something to Leekie that she would regret.
Then she remembers what he said about their fields being closely linked, so she turns to Delphine with her head resting on her hand.
“So, Delphine, what is it that you do?
Before she can answer, though, Leekie is chipping in so that Cosima has to turn her attention towards him instead.
“Dr Cormier,” he begins, and Cosima blinks. “Is one of our finest immunologists at the DYAD Institute.”
“Oh, Dr Cormier is, is she?” Cosima asks, amazed that there was something that made this woman even hotter than she was already – she’s clearly super smart.
“Aldous flatters me,” Delphine smiles. “But yes, I have been at DYAD for several years now. It allows me the space to continue my research and work with some of the finest minds in the country.”
Cosima’s rapt, listening to Delphine talk about her work, and almost forgets that Leekie is there. She runs her thumb in circles around Delphine’s wrist as she asks her more about her work, only pausing to order some lingiuni though she never takes her hand away.
The conversation is much easier now, and even with Leekie chipping in every now and again, it feels to Cosima sort of like a date.
It freaks her out a little, that thought. She’s gone from wanting to fuck this woman to wanting to hear about her life in the space of about an hour. It’s a little soon, really, to be feeling the things she’s feeling, so she decides to take back control of the situation as their mains arrive.
Turning back to the table, she continues to eat with her left hand while her right releases Delphine’s wrist and lets her fingers rest on the inside of Delphine’s thigh, which is bare and the feeling of her skin underneath Cosima’s fingertips reminds Cosima why they’re here in the first place.
They both lean forward, all available elbows on the table, and Cosima takes it as an invitation.
Leekie’s talking about the most recent development in epigenetics (a conversation that Cosima would usually turn into an argument but she has another focus this evening) and Delphine, Cosima notes, is trying to pay attention even as she opens her legs for Cosima.
She’s not sure how far Delphine wants this to go but, she thinks, fuck it. She’ll try her luck. After all, she’d let Delphine fuck her while she was sat right next to her sister so this isn’t nearly as bad.
Although, she thinks, nodding at something Leekie is saying but not really hearing it at all, they were in darkness before, and not in the middle of a conversation, and Cosima wonders if she can make Delphine come whilst sat directly across from her boss. Or, rather, if she should.
Testing, she runs her hand further up until her hand is pressed completely up against Delphine’s underwear and allows herself a moment as she feels that they are soaked through.
She lets out a breath she didn’t realise she’d been holding and clears her throat.
“Are you all right, Cosima?” Delphine asks casually and pushes her cunt into Cosima’s hand.
It’s then that Cosima realises that she’s not in control of this situation, not even a little bit. And that she’s actually okay with it.
“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” she smiles and takes a sip of wine.
“Is it too hot for you?” Delphine asks and pushes forward again and it takes everything Cosima has not to close her eyes and fall into the moment.
Taking a breath, she steels herself, and curls her fingers to press through the fabric to settle on Delphine’s clit.
“Nope,” she says, her lips in a thin, serious line as Delphine’s drop open, just a little. “I can handle it.”
“Good!” Aldous says from across the table, almost breaking their spell. But Cosima won’t let him and pushes down harder, rolling her fingers around Delphine’s clit, and thinks that this won’t take long – perhaps not even until dessert.
Aldous is talking again and Delphine is doing a good job of keeping still as Cosima works against her. She has no idea how Leekie can just keep rambling on but his self-involvedness is working in their favour so she doesn’t bother to question it for long.
But he is looking directly at Delphine, whose cheeks are getting more and more flushed, and Cosima can’t move her hand too much or he’ll definitely see, covered as much as they are by a large tablecloth.
She figures that, at this point, she has two options.
Option one: take her hand away, admit defeat, and hope that they can pick this up again later.
Option two: push Delphine a little further and see how far they can get.
She’s mid-debate when she sees Delphine bite her lip and it makes Cosima’s decision for her.
The angle is awkward but she manages to very slowly curl her index and middle fingers around the side of the sodden fabric and move tenatively over the short hair that she finds there before pushing her fingers slowly into what she thinks is the wettest cunt she’s ever felt.
She hears a moan, then, something from the back of a throat, and when she sees two sets of eyes on hers she realises that it’s come from her own mouth.
It’s then that she feels a hand around her wrist, pulling her away from in between Delphine’s legs, and the disappointment she feels is gut-churning.
“Are you sure you’re okay, Cosima?” Aldous asks, dropping his fork down into his spaghetti.
“Oui, Cosima. Perhaps you need some air?” Delphine asks, threading her fingers through Cosima’s, and it snaps her back to reality.
“Actually, yeah. Sorry – I won’t be a moment,” she dabs at her mouth with her knapkin and reluctantly pulls away from Delphine’s touch.
She slides out of the booth, shaking her head, and is almost at the front door when there’s a hand in hers again and it’s pulling her away and back through the restaurant.
“Quick,” Delphine whispers. “Through here.”
She leads them through a door near to the entrance to the kitchen and then up a short flight of stairs.
“Delphine,” Cosima manages, massively impressed at how fast Delphine can move in such high heels. “Where are we going?”
They reach another door, and Delphine pulls Cosima inside and pushes her against the wall of the dark space.
She can’t see her but she can feel Delphine’s lips close to her face and it strikes her again that they still haven’t even kissed. They’re both breathing heavily from their almost-jog through the restaurant and Delphine’s hands find their way to Cosima’s waist.
“Function room – we had a Christmas party here once,” she breathes, and takes Cosima’s hand in hers and guides it back between her legs. “Cosima, I can’t take it any more. Please touch me.”
Cosima grins, knowing that she might just have the upper hand for a short while, so she uses it to her advantage, and gently traces a line over the top of Delphine’s panties.
“Like this?” she whispers against lips that are so close to her own, even if she has to arch her neck up to find them.
“Non,” Delphine manages. “Harder, please.”
“Oh? A little more like this?” she teases, cupping Delphine’s cunt in her hand and pressing the heel of it against her clit – she knows it’ll feel good but also not nearly enough for the state Delphine is in.
“Cosima...”
“Delphine...” she whispers back, brushing their cheeks together and breathing Delphine in, once again. “Why don’t you tell me what you really want?”
Cosima squeezes her hand a little, and, after sharp intake of breath, Delphine whispers, lowly into her ear.
“I want you to fuck me. Hard and fast. Right now.”
And Cosima doesn’t need to be told twice; within moments she’s got Delphine pushed back against the wall and their lips finally find each other with an intense fury that Cosima’s not sure she’s ever felt before.
It’s even better than Cosima had imagined, the feel of Delphine’s mouth on hers, but she doesn’t have the time to dwell on it now as she hoiks Delphine’s dress up and over her thighs and slides her wet panties down her legs and tosses them to the side.
Her hand finds Delphine’s cunt again, and she has to drop a shoulder a little to get the right angle, but not too much, though it takes her mouth away from Delphine’s.
(She’ll come back to it later; and it will be softer and smoother and filled with a different kind of intensity that she knows she’s already addicted to.)
Taking a moment to discard two rings from her right hand, letting them clatter around on the floor, Cosima allows herself to fully appreciate how wet Delphine really is and slides her entire hand up through Delphine’s cunt as she spreads her legs a little wider.
“Inside?” Cosima asks, a little wary of slowing the pace; she knows they’re on a time limit and also Delphine’s so dripping wet that Cosima can’t wait to give her exaclty what she wants.
“Oui, s’il vous plait,” Delphine whispers, and Cosima doesn’t waste any more time, and slowly pushes her index and middle fingers up inside a ridiculously wet and warm Delphine.
“Holy shit,” she breathes, her face in Delphine’s neck as she feels fingers digging into her biceps. “You feel fucking incredible, Delphine.”
There’s a deep, satisfied moan from above her as she begins to move her hand, like Delphine’s been waiting for this all evening.
Perhaps she has, Cosima wonders, and then realises that this was inevitable; they were drawn together and this moment, right now, had already been written before they even understood what was happening.
She’s getting too lost in her head again, though, and she’s got a job to do. So she pushes in a little harder, still slow, but building, until Delphine’s begging her to up the pace.
“Yeah?” Cosima throws back. “You want it fast?”
“Yes.”
“Say it. Say it again,” Cosima requests, and stills her hand, feeling Delphine clench around her.
“Fuck me, Cosima. Fuck me hard and fast. I want to come with you inside me,” Delphine whispers, and finds Cosima’s lips again as Cosima does as she’s told.
And, fuck, she knows this is good by the way Delphine is opening up for her, and she’s giving everything she’s got, straining her arm as she fucks Delphine against the wall.
She knows it won’t take long and, as much as she’d love to drag this out, make Delphine come in all sorts of ways, she knows she can’t right now, so she curls her fingers every so slightly and starts pushing at the spot she hopes will push Delphine over the edge.
It starts to work as she feels nails digging into her skin, just enough to spur her on, and it’s then that she presses her thumb against the side of Delphine’s clit.
“Fuck!” Delphine shouts, and it’s kind of loud, but neither of them care as Cosima smashes into Delphine’s cunt, wrapping her other arm around Delphine’s waist to pull her even closer.
“You want to come for me?” she asks, their cheeks pressed together again.
The response she gets is a series of short, sharp breaths that increase in speed as Cosima pushes everything she can into fucking Delphine.
“Oui, yes, yes Cosima. You’re really fucking me,” she manages, and Cosima feels it in the pit of her stomach.
“I’m really fucking you. I’m fucking you so hard,” Cosima breathes into Delphine’s neck as she starts to feel Delphine’s cunt tighten around her fingers. “Yes. Do it.”
And Delphine does, letting out a long, soundless cry, as Cosima pounds into her a final few times, before releasing and coming hard, all over Cosima’s hand. There’s a warm gush as she slows and works out Delphine’s orgasm for her before Cosima feels her twitching and reaching down to still the hand inside her.
They take a moment, just breathing into each other, as Cosima removes her fingers, somewhat reluctantly, and she wonders how Delphine’s legs are even keeping her standing up right now.
She holds her hand to the side but the other is still wrapped around Delphine’s waist, and it feels intimate, then, as Delphine drops her forehead to rest against Cosima’s.
“Wow,” Delphine manages, and then giggles, and Cosima wonders then if she’s already falling. “That was... you are...”
“Yeah?” Cosima asks, her face breaking into a smile.
“Oui,” Delphine affirms, and then Cosima feels two fingers pressing gently below her chin, tilting her head up. “Oui.”
Delphine kisses her then and, she’s right.
Yes, Cosima thinks. Just yes.
~
Putting on one’s sodden undergarments after being fucked in a restuarant function room by someone she only met a few hours ago is always a surreal moment for anyone, but Cosima watches Delphine do it with grace and poise, her eyes having adjusted to the darkness of the room.
Infinitely classy and completely beautiful, is what Cosima thinks, and then remembers that she’s standing there like a dork with Delphine’s come still drying on her hand. Collecting her rings from the floor, she wonders how they’ll fit, if that’s even where this is going. And then she forgets what she’s thinking as Delphine approaches with a napkin that she’s taken from her purse, and softly takes Cosima’s hand and cleans it for her.
“Uh, thanks,” Cosima manages, reaching up to scratch between her dreads. “Wasn’t quite sure what to do with that.”
Delphine raises an eyebrow before pulling Cosima’s hand up to her lips and pulling into her mouth the two fingers that had just been inside her.
Cosima can only stare as her fingers are released.
“There are always plenty of options, Cosima,” she whispers and steps a little closer. “Perhaps we should... take this somewhere else so that we can explore them, oui?”
“Uh, yes please. That would be completely awesome.”
“Bon,” Delphine says, taking her hand and threading their fingers together. “Then let’s go. Think you can fake being ill a little longer?”
“If it gets us out of here and to somewhere that I can get you naked then hell yes,” Cosima grins and Delphine smiles back, rewarding her with a quick peck on the lips.
And Delphine leads them away, back to where Leekie is waiting at their table. If he notices anything he doesn’t say, and Cosima coughs a few times before throwing out another apology as Delphine collects their things for them, not even bothering to protest when her boss offers to pick up the bill.
They’re out on the curb, waiting for a taxi, when Delphine reaches for her hand again. Cosima lets her take it, playing with her fingers as they stand as close to each other as they could dare.
She shakes her head at herself, wondering how exactly she got here, hand in hand with this incredible woman who she can’t wait to learn more about. She chances a look at her, her bun messy from where Cosima had her pushed against a wall, and she throws a soft smile in Cosima’s direction that makes Cosima both excited and shy all in one go.
“My place?” Delphine asks, and Cosima shrugs with one shoulder, grinning all the while.
“Sure,” she says. “Anywhere.”
Chapter 3: This Song is Not About a Girl
Summary:
Set during the second half of Season 3, Delphine's life has changed radically and she's struggling to come to terms with Cosima moving on and the new role that she has to play. So she deals with it badly...
Notes:
**Fair warning**
This story is from Delphine's POV but features Shay and Cosima. It is NSFW so don't read at work and/or if you aren't happy reading about Shaysima. I still see this is as a Cophine fic, though.
If you do read it though, then thank you, as it's not really about Shaysima at all. It's about Delphine dealing with this new situation and trying to reconcile with herself the fact that she is the one who set it in motion by ending her relationship with Cosima.
I don't know where this came from; I didn't plan to write it and it just came out this way.
But also it is NSFW and features music so it's rightful place is within the Music of the Night fics.
Cheers guys.
Chapter Text
She can’t stand it.
Lying here, in the dark, again. At almost midnight. Half a bottle of scotch from the night before next to her bed (she's only had a nip this evening and had felt no better for it) and butts from almost an entire pack of cigarettes squashed out in an ashtray next to it.
She considers lighting another but her chest is almost so tight that she thinks one more might be enough to constrict her lungs completely and so thinks better of it.
(She wonders, not for the first time, if she smokes this much just to try to get close to the pain that Cosima feels, so that she can understand better. But then she knows that she never will. Not when she’s the only one willing to try to see the other’s point of view.)
There’s no point having another shower as that didn’t work before, and she hates the sight of her hair before she’s straightened it. It reminds her of a time before now, when she didn’t have to put on a suit (a disguise?) every day and a time when she smiled and got to see those eyes first thing every morning. A life before this one where she got to feel the soft skin of the woman she loves (she doesn’t even catch herself on it anymore – it’s just real) and whisper a quiet Je t’aime into her neck as she began to wake.
A time when Cosima was sick and needed help and each breath was hard work. When Delphine hadn’t had to make quite as many difficult decisions to keep Cosima safe but could be there to hold her hand and kiss her forehead through the procedures and the tough times and the long nights.
Before she’d made the one decision she’d never wanted to make. The one that broke both of their hearts.
And, okay, sure, she thinks as she rolls over onto her back. She was stupid and naïve to think that Cosima would see it for what it was and wait for her. Give her a chance to get things moving at DYAD and work out a real and permanent way to cure all the sisters and then they could be together.
She knew it wasn’t something she could count on but she’d had it in the back of her mind. And, whilst she couldn’t say it out loud to Cosima, couldn’t ask her to hold on, she just kind of thought that they were it. They were meant to be together so, eventually, they would find their way back to each other.
But now…
Delphine can barely stand to think about it, and wishes for the hundredth time that she hadn’t washed the sheets since the last time Cosima had been there just so that she could smell her perfume or the wax for her dreads or find a stray, wavy hair between the pillows.
It makes her too sad to even think about it and, with that, she knows she’s not sleeping tonight.
“Merde. C’est fou ridicule,” she mutters to herself as she swings her legs out of bed, feet hitting the warmed laminate floor, and she begins to pace.
Going back on her previous plan she decides to smoke without giving it too much additional thought and is surprised to find the pack empty (how hadn’t she realised? Is she even paying attention to anything at all anymore?).
She could get back into bed but she can’t see the point so she pulls on a pair of baggy-yet-too-short harem pants that she couldn’t bring herself to include in the bag she had taken to work for Cosima after it had ended.
(After she had ended it and brought this pain upon herself.)
There’s a baggy jumper by the door and she’d really never dream of going out like this usually but it didn’t really seem to matter at this point. So she pops it on and slings her purse over her shoulder, grabs her keys and heads out.
It’s cold outside, she realises as she heads into the parking lot at the bottom of her building, and she’s absolutely used to it, being from Europe. And it barely touches her now anyway.
In the car she attaches her phone to the Bluetooth and plays the mix that Cosima made for her. It’s a good one, mostly electronica, some in French and some in English. They all mostly remind her of Cosima for one reason or another, either from the lyrics or from remembering Cosima dancing to them in their lounge or just that they’re on this playlist.
She knows what she’s doing to herself but she can’t quite get out of this funk – she’s not even sure if she wants to.
The one thing she knows that she does want currently wants something else entirely. It was sickening.
It’s why she’s really beyond confused and concerned when finds that she’s driven all the way to the apartment that she’d stalked only a few weeks back. The one where she knows that if she parks in the right spot that she can see directly into.
She stops and turns off the engine and wonders if this is what it’s like to lose her mind.
She doesn’t get much of a chance to wonder about anything at all, though, as she catches the sight of movement. And then her stomach drops and flips all at the same time.
There they were, right there on the couch, with Shay’s hand up her girlfriend’s tank top.
She knows she should go. Get out of here right now, get to the store before she sees any more of this… this… whatever it is. She knows what she’s seeing but her brain won’t form the words.
And she’s frozen to the spot, both hands still at ten and two on the wheel and line of sight absolutely locked on to what’s in front of her.
She watches, then, as Cosima tilts her head back into the cushions as Shay places kisses down her neck, hand moving against her breast under Cosima’s top before pulling away and pushing the top up over her bra and then quickly popping Cosima’s breast out of it.
They’re moving fast, Delphine notes, and remembers how Cosima likes to be played with over her bra for a lot longer than that; likes for Delphine to press her tongue against the fabric and suck through it before dipping inside to find her nipple.
But Cosima doesn’t seem to be protesting, holding both sides of Shay’s face as she licks the nipple into a hard peak before taking it into her mouth entirely. And then Delphine sees Shay rock the thigh that’s between Cosima’s legs into her and up against her cunt and Delphine has to close her eyes for a second.
This is too much. And it’s so wrong. She shouldn’t be here, she knows it, yet… she doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Delphine opens her eyes to find both of their tops off and on the floor as Cosima pulls down Shay’s pants to reveal lacy white underwear. Delphine’s knuckles go white as she tightens her grip so she pulls her hands away into her lap instead.
Cosima’s pants are the next to come off (she takes those off herself – always so eager) and then Shay is settling back down with her thigh pressed against Cosima’s centre again.
It’s then that Delphine remembers the feel of that – how during their second time she’d done the same thing and was so surprised to find Cosima warm and wet and ready for her.
They’d been in Felix’s loft and she hadn’t been sure that anything would or should happen but then it did. And it was beautiful and it felt so much more real than the time before when she’d been Delphine Beraud and Cosima had just been a student and no one was a clone or a monitor or themselves. The second time felt like making love, and when Cosima had pushed down onto her thigh Delphine had pushed back and their eyes had met.
They’d made each other come just like that and Delphine had wanted to touch Cosima with her fingers, to make up for her inexperience, to learn, but it had felt so good to have Cosima in her arms, underneath her, and kiss her as she came, that she didn’t want to move.
She had come only moments after, riding Cosima’s thigh with hands pressed against her shoulder blades and the soft whisper of come for me in her ear.
It’s the recall of that voice, she thinks, that has her fingers slowly making their way between her thighs and pressing up against herself through the thin pants as she watches Shay rock into Cosima, their kisses picking up in speed as they move against each other.
Shay pulls back then, but only to remove Cosima’s boy shorts, tossing them across the room as her hand trails down Cosima’s stomach until it disappears from Delphine’s view, hidden by Cosima’s thigh.
But Delphine doesn’t need to see that to know what’s happening; Cosima’s face says it all and she clenches her eyes shut and her mouth falls open and Delphine knows that Shay is inside her.
She doesn’t know why she does it, really (though, later, she’ll tell herself it’s because it was the closest she could get to feeling a connection with Cosima) but Delphine’s slipping her hand inside the pants and finding herself incredibly wet.
She sighs. She doesn’t know if it’s out of relief or confusion that her body is reacting like this but, as with so many things lately, she decides not to question herself and just do it.
She watches as one of Cosima’s hands finds her own nipple and starts tweaking at it roughly and Delphine dips her fingers into gather some of her wetness and starts pushing slow circles around her clit, watching as Cosima’s breasts bounce from the sheer force of being fucked.
It’s easy to imagine those fingers pressing against her own clit, as they’ve done so many times in the last few months, or at least in the months before she left for Frankfurt. She knows how skilled they are and she tries to copy Cosima’s movements with her own fingers.
Watching Cosima’s body jolt, Delphine can tell that Shay is moving hard but not too fast and Delphine’s wondering how many fingers that woman has inside of her girlfriend (she can’t work out how to stop thinking of her that way just yet) when she sees Cosima nod, and then tense, as Shay pushes into her again, slowly, in a way that Delphine knows means three fingers.
Just how she likes it.
Delphine’s fingers start to speed up as she watches Shay pull Cosima’s legs over her shoulders and she tries to blink back tears as she remembers how good it feels to be so deep inside Cosima that she forgot where she ended and where Cosima began.
(She still couldn’t tell you where that is but the answer is starting to become clearer.)
And then Shay speeds up, leaning over Cosima as she does to take a nipple into her mouth as Cosima’s hand finds the bottom of the couch and grips it hard as Shay slams her fingers into her.
Delphine’s matching them for speed, her own fingers slip-sliding around her wet cunt, her clit hard and aching and waiting for Cosima.
She doesn’t have to wait long, though, as she watches Cosima break, legs over Shay’s shoulders and mouth open and panting.
Delphine comes with her, forcing herself to keep her eyes open, silent tears now streaming down her face, and convinces herself that she can hear Cosima’s cry from across the street. She bites her own lip until she can taste blood in her mouth, her knickers flooding with the force of her orgasm.
She’s still watching as she works herself down, and is just thinking that she’s glad they’re like that. Glad that they’re rough and it’s just fucking and they’re not falling in love. And it’s not like what she and Cosima have.
Had.
But then Cosima’s opening her arms wide to welcome Shay in, and then there’s a head on Cosima’s chest, pressing a kiss over where her heart is.
And then Delphine begins sobbing, hard, her hand still in her pants, and presses her head against the steering wheel.
It’s over. She knows it is. She didn’t know before but now she does.
She cries it out as much as she can and when she raises her head again she doesn’t look back up at the apartment.
She’s seen enough.
Wiping her eyes so that she now has two wet hands, she shakes her head at herself.
“Fine,” she says. “Fine.”
Taking a breath, she starts the car, and drives home on autopilot, almost forgetting to stop for cigarettes as her thoughts take over.
She might have lost Cosima as her girlfriend. As her love, her friend. But she hasn’t lost her as a subject and the experiment must continue.
She’s got the file on Shay ready to use when she needs it (or, at least, when she can decide if she’s compiled it out of concern or jealousy) and she makes a decision as she smokes out of the window, curls blowing in the wind as she exhales.
They have work to do, and they each have their part to play. So she would play the one assigned to her and lead the project.
For herself. For Cosima. For the rest of the sisters. For all their futures.
Chapter 4: The World at Large, Part One
Summary:
It's a brave new world and Cosima's starting at a University in England, ready for whatever she might find there...
Chapter Text
It’s not until she gets to her dorm room (which is in what are called ‘halls’ here, apparently) that she stops to wonder what the hell she’s done.
The whole way through this process she’s been giddy with excitement; ready to breathe in the crisp British air and experience a different culture, to properly begin her scientific career and become a new and improved version of herself. And, yeah, that’s totally still there but, it’s as she sits down on the edge of her single bed, staring at a blank cork noticeboard, that she really starts to take it all in.
The journey had been an easy one, really, Cosima thinks as she forces herself to start unpacking, and manages a smile as she remembers her moms seeing her off at the airport. They’d clung to each other so tightly, one of them stoically present as usual, the other sobbing into her sleeve, as they waved her to the gate, shouting words of encouragement so that Cosima couldn’t help but laugh.
She didn’t cry until they were out of sight and, even then, it was only a few small tears.
She loves her moms so much but she was so ready for this adventure.
Clearing her throat now, though, it hits her just how far away they are. Only a phone call away, sure, but the time difference is a bit wacky and will totally take some getting used to. It’s unusual for them to not speak that often and she’s not sure it’s something she wants to get used to.
She’s in the future now. The thought leaves her sitting back on her heels and rubbing her forehead, just above her glasses, trying to push away the pressure that’s building there.
Finding some resolve from somewhere, Cosima decides that making her bed is her first priority. At least, that way, she can lie down and breathe in the smell of home and try to find a way to make the scent of it live on in her new surroundings.
Maybe, at some point, the two would combine, all atoms and molecules converging to build a new version of home, or at least something a little bit like it.
~
It’s dark when there’s a knock at the door, and Cosima realises that she’d nodded off. Not that she’s surprised; the jetlag was bound to get her sooner rather than later.
There’s a second knock that forces her to her feet and opens the door to find a familiar face.
“Hey,” she begins, smiling wide. “Sarah, right?”
“Yep, nice to actually meet you, Cosima,” the British girl with Cosima’s face says with a smile much tighter than Cosima’s. “All right if I come in?”
“Oh, oh yeah. Sure,” Cosima says, opening the door wide for Sarah to pass through and into the small room. “I, uh. Sorry. I kinda fell asleep while unpacking.”
Sarah surveys the chaos with a smirk.
“I see that. Your trip all right?”
“Yeah, yeah fine. Just, you know, a little lagged.”
“Yeah, I hear that’s a thing,” Sarah says, leaning against the dresser. “I wanted to see if you fancied a pint? We could go freak people out when they see a couple more clones together.”
“Ha!” Cosima barks, shuffling on her feet and crossing her legs at the ankle, feeling herself relax. “I know, right? It’s still so crazy. People are used to it now in San Fran. Since the whole thing came out I’ve had a couple visitors, though when it’s only two of us at a time people don’t stare for that long.”
Sarah’s still grinning, but has taken to twirling around one of Cosima’s rings from the dresser between her own bare fingers.
“Yeah, people aren’t quite as chilled here yet, but that just makes it more entertaining.”
“You, uh, ever hang out with the other one that lives here? Rachel, is it?”
Sarah squints up at Cosima and shakes her head.
“Nope. Bit of a stuck up bitch, if you ask me. Seems to think that she’s better off alone. Which, you know, I don’t blame her for too much,” Sarah says, somewhat thoughtfully. “But hey, you seem half-decent, so maybe we can change that and be mates, yeah?”
Nodding once with a toothy smile, Cosima collects her coat from behind the door.
“Mates who… maybe sometimes drink wine instead of beer?”
“Pfft,” Sarah scoffs, standing. “Don’t push it, Cosima. There’s a bloody line, yeah?”
Laughing, Cosima holds the door open again, this time ready to follow where Sarah leads her.
“Right,” she grins. “Got it.”
~
The bar – no, pub - is nothing like anything Cosima’s been to in San Fran.
(For a start, she wasn’t old enough to drink at home but England’s legal age of 18 means that she’s officially an adult here, or so she tells herself.)
It’s busy, and dark, but full of people of all ages talking and laughing, pints of beer in various stages of consumption, and it’s a little overwhelming for a jet-lagged American, but Sarah is leading them through the throng of people with a practiced ease for which Cosima is instantly grateful.
Her confident clone has already promised her a glass of red and it’s as she’s ordering that Cosima catches her first glimpse of blonde hair from across the room.
It’s instant, then, the force that hits her, and she wonders if the jetlag is about to fuck her up completely. But then the girl laughs, throwing back her head and shaking it as someone hands her a shot of something mostly clear. They cheers, some of the liquid spilling onto the girl’s fingers before she downs the shot.
Cosima almost loses it completely when the girl brings her fingers to her mouth and gamely licks the tips of them one by one.
(Cosima swears that it all happened in slow motion; or, at least, that’s how it plays in her brain later when she’s back in bed, biting her lip, and letting her hand push underneath the top of her shorts, and down, further…)
She must still be staring because Sarah’s calling, “Oi, geek! Get over here and take this, yeah? I need to carry the scratchings.”
Reluctantly, Cosima drags her gaze away and takes her wine, not daring to look behind her at the girl again for fear of completely losing her balance, and follows Sarah down some steps into what looks like the basement of the pub.
“Wow, Sarah,” Cosima says, eyes wide as she places her feet carefully down on uneven flooring. “How old is this place?”
“I dunno,” Sarah shrugs, flopping down into an armchair. “Not a bloody historian, am I?”
Cosima chuckles, finding a more upright chair and working her way out of her red coat. “I don’t know. What are you studying?”
“Social work, like with kids and that. Thought it might suit me, considering what a colossal fuck up of a childhood I had.”
Sarah takes a big gulp of her Guinness, making Cosima wince as she remembers trying it once at an Irish bar back home, the thought of which almost makes her feel nostalgic and homesick. But it’s a passing feeling that she shakes off, opting instead to keep the conversation in the here and now, and focusses on what Sarah’s telling her about an upbringing in the foster system, and they fall into a patter that surprises her.
They’re so different, both of them (all of them), yet so similar. And Cosima remembers that she can feel at home here, too, with someone she can call sister, and maybe even friend.
~
It’s after another glass, and a shot of tequila that she’s sure she’ll regret later, that Cosima excuses herself to use the bathroom.
Glancing across the bar, she’s disappointed to note that the girl with the delicious laugh and the blonde curls has gone.
Trying not to sulk too hard, she’s distracted when she bumps into someone just inside the ladies toilets.
“Shit, sorry,” she manages, and then loses the power of speech altogether when she finds herself staring into slightly hooded hazel eyes.
“Oh!” the girl exclaims, stumbling slightly and having to put her hands on top of Cosima’s shoulders to steady herself.
(Cosima feels the touch all the way down to her toes.)
“I am sorry,” the girl says and Cosima’s brain says French, and they both smile. “I was directly in the way.”
“Hey, no big,” Cosima manages, clearing her throat. “I haven’t been here before – didn’t realise the bathroom was so small.”
“Ah!” the girl says, smile widening, clicking her fingers and pointing them both in Cosima’s direction. “You are American! Or wait, no. That is too presumptuous. Canadian?”
“Nope, right the first time. And I assumed you were French but I guess I could’ve made the same mistake…?”
The girl chuckles, maybe even blushes, and Cosima tilts her head to the side to take her in.
“You were right also. I am from Lille. You know it?”
“Ah no, not really, but I – ” she’s cut off, then, by a girl barging out of the toilets and reaching for the girl (and Cosima’s not jealous at all, obviously, but she wishes the intruder would stop, like, intruding).
“Delphine, I need to get the fuck out of here,” the intruder slurs, slumping against the wall. “Everything’s spinning and I can’t remember where halls are.”
The girl – Delphine – looks from her friend and back to Cosima with apology in her eyes and, also, maybe, Cosima wonders, disappointment?
She goes to speak but the intruder is already pulling the French girl away and out the door, not caring that she almost smacks Cosima with it in the process.
Delphine looks over her shoulder, before the door shuts behind her, and Cosima is left alone, standing staring at a poster for quiz night that she’s not really reading.
All she can think about, then, in that moment, is the feeling of Delphine’s hands on her shoulders and the fact that her friend had mentioned halls.
Letting out a deep breath, she manages a smile.
She would see her again, this girl. This, Delphine. She was sure of it.
~
And she does.
She doesn’t even have to wait that long because it’s the next night in the student union (it was meant to be a dress up as your favourite super hero night but Cosima wasn’t sure that going as Charles Darwin qualified, even though she had a sneaking suspicion that she could rock a tux, so she had just gone as herself) that she sees Delphine at the end of the bar.
Giving a small wave, Delphine’s face lights up as she catches Cosima’s eye, and Cosima is glad for the dim light of the loud bar as she’s sure she’s gone bright red. There’s a song playing that she half knows, and she feels the beat in time with her heart; the suggestion of a dance beginning, the start of a rhythm playing beneath her breast.
It’s her round, though, and she knows Sarah (sporting her usual black leather jacket, black jeans, black everything, and refusing outright to even consider dressing up) gets even crankier when she’s without a drink, so she can’t ignore the questioning bartender more than once.
So, for the second time in as many days, she loses sight of the girl whose smile is imprinted on her memory, and asks for two pints of lager and a whisky chaser for Sarah.
She looks back along the bar but Delphine has already gone.
Cosima doesn’t see her again that night.
~
It’s actually not for another three days that they bump into each other again (not actually, this time, much to Cosima’s relief), just before classes are due to start.
What are the chances, she thinks, as she sidles up next to the leggy blonde who is pulling down a book on immunology from a section that is mostly abandoned by the rest of the student body.
“Hmm,” Cosima hums, and Delphine jumps a little, before smiling down in Cosima’s direction. “Now, if I’d pegged you for a nerd I probably would have made more of an effort to find you other night.”
Delphine barks out a laugh that causes a wide smile to spread across Cosima’s face before she can stop herself.
“Oh, so you think we’d have managed a conversation on…” Delphine trails off as she eyes the books stacked in Cosima’s hands. “Evolutionary development whilst dancing to Britney Spears and drinking pints of lager, yes?”
“What better time?” Cosima shrugs with one shoulder, and shaking her head with a smile.
“Well then,” Delphine whispers, almost conspiratorially, and leaning in close to Cosima’s ear. “In that case, I am sorry that I missed out.”
Cosima tries not swallow too loudly, particularly with Delphine’s breath still lingering on her ear, and clears her throat instead.
“We could always make up for it now? Maybe with some inoffensive indie music and a coffee?”
There’s a pause as Delphine seems to consider something, but then she nods. “D’accord,” she says. “Let me check these out – I know just the place.”
“Okay,” Cosima says, and then rolls her eyes. “I’m Cosima, by the way.”
“Delphine,” the girl says, and holds out her free hand for Cosima to shake, which she does, softly, letting her fingers drag against Delphine’s palm as she releases. “Enchantée.”
“Enchantée,” Cosima replies with a bounce, which remains in her step as she follows her new friend to check their books and then head out into the city centre.
~
They talk science. They talk hometowns. They talk more science, and drink cappuccinos and order muffins. (Delphine likes the lemon with poppyseeds and Cosima just about melts over the raspberry and white chocolate.)
The clone thing comes up, and Delphine’s eyes go wide but instead of asking something ridiculous like, does that mean you can all read each other’s thoughts, or, on the more vulgar side of things, so do you all kiss the same?, she instead opts for, “Aha, so, this has influenced your interest in this particular scientific focus, yes?”
Cosima could almost kiss her on the spot (not that it’s the first time she’s thought it) and answers with hands gesturing wildly the more excited she gets.
She notices Delphine watching her, leant forward with her elbows on the table, and she doesn’t mind. She’s not studying her in the same way that others do when they find out about her origins. She’s studying her, Cosima knows that. She’s just not sure it’s completely as a scientist.
~
To say she’s disappointed that Delphine has plans with her flatmates is an understatement, but it does mean that Cosima’s able to figure out where Delphine lives, which is only a few minutes away from her own halls.
When Delphine says ciao and kisses her on both cheeks, Cosima knows she’s smitten.
They’ve swapped numbers, and Cosima resists texting her then and there, knowing that it’s so far from playing it cool that she manages to talk herself out of it.
Besides, she has studying to do, and a skype call to make.
Saturday night is the last night of Fresher’s Week and it’s finishing with a big ass party at the union and Sarah’s made her promise she’ll go, and she really wants to get ahead of the game before classes start so she’s already running out of time.
She only finds that she’s looking forward to it, the party, when she realises that Delphine might be there too, and the first flutter of hope makes residence in her belly as she almost skips back to her room, counting down the hours until she can see Delphine again.
~
Despite her eagerness to get on with some work, she agrees to meet Delphine again the next day, who suggests grabbing some sandwiches from Pret and going and sitting down by the river. Telling herself that it’s because she hasn’t had much of a chance to explore the city yet (at least, not during the day time and at anywhere other than at pubs), Cosima can’t accept the invitation quickly enough.
She doesn’t have plans to see Sarah again for another couple of days, not until the party, which she likes. It’s nice to know Sarah is there, and she’s pretty sure they’ll be spending a lot of time together for the next three years at least, so the space that Sarah gives her is pretty much perfect.
They meet outside the coffee shop, and Delphine greets her with a kiss to each cheek that Cosima tries not to melt into, but Delphine is breezy and all smiles so she doesn’t get too long to dwell on it.
She almost doesn’t notice how cute the girl serving them is until she says that she’s allowed to give out a free coffee today, and she’d like to give it to Cosima.
“Oh, cool!” She grins, forgetting Delphine momentarily. “Well, thank you so much. Have a great day.”
“You too,” the girl smiles. “See you again.”
They’re quiet as they make their way outside, Cosima taking in the surroundings and holding her warm cup to her chest as they walk in what she assumes is the direction of the river.
“You know,” Delphine starts. “When they give you a free coffee there it means that they like you.”
“Huh? What do you mean?” Cosima asks, looking at her new friend for the first time after leaving the shop. It’s then that she notices that Delphine is no longer breezy, like she was just before; something’s changed in her demeanour, but Cosima can’t quite put her finger on what.
“It means that they like you.” Delphine says pointedly, glancing in Cosima’s direction but not quite looking at her.
“Ohhhhh,” Cosima drawls, the realisation hitting her. And then she lets the pride puff out her chest for a moment. “Well, obvs. I’m, like, totally exotic over here. Right?”
She grins up at Delphine, waiting for her friend to return her gaze.
When she does, something flashes across her eyes before she breaks, smiling at Cosima again.
“Right, exactly,” she smiles, and then gently nudges Cosima’s shoulder with her own.
~
It’s beautiful, the river, and they find a bench to sit on near where some ducks are chilling, just letting the current pull them along gently.
They talk more, and Cosima’s taken aback again at how easy it is, easier than with her parents, or her friends back home, or even Sarah, who’s made of the same things she is.
Delphine is smart, and funny, and seems to get Cosima in a way that she hadn’t realised she’d needed. It’s scary for her, then, when she realises it’s not just a physical attraction. She knows it’s happening too quickly but, as Delphine stands, reaching her hand out to Cosima and suggesting a glass of wine at the pub, Cosima knows it’s already too late to do anything about it.
~
It’s dark by the time they’re walking back, and Delphine knows a different way to walk that’s all street lamps, and old streets, and people making their way slowly to wherever it is they’re going. It’s a different route, but she follows Delphine, their pace languid and their arms bumping together as they go.
The moment is so perfect that Cosima’s thrown a little when Delphine comes out with, “So, did you leave anyone behind in California?”
“You mean like… other than my moms?” She asks, squinting up at her French companion.
“Oh, I mean like, anyone… special? I don’t mean to pry. It sounds a little rude now I’ve said it out loud.”
Cosima chuckles, taking the opportunity to rest a hand on Delphine’s arm, the wine making her a little bolder than before so that she squeezes before she releases (part of her brain acknowledging the fact that, wow, that is a bicep that can lift).
“It’s fine, you can ask me questions. I don’t mind,” she smiles, tilting her head to the side, waiting for Delphine to smile with her. “And, no. I don’t. It’s been a while since I had a girlfriend, actually. After I broke up with my ex there didn’t seem much point in getting into anything knowing I’d be coming here.”
“Oh,” Delphine says, quietly, staring down at her feet as they walk. “Well. Yes, that sounds sensible.”
“And you?” Cosima asks, holding her breath as she waits for the answer.
“Ah, well. I thought that I could do the long-distance thing, you know? But I… I had to end it.”
“That sucks, dude. I’m sorry.”
“Please do not be sorry,” Delphine says, linking their arms together. “It was my decision. It was time.”
“When did you…?” Cosima starts, wondering how fresh the wound is.
Delphine takes a breath, that Cosima feels resonate through them both.
“Yesterday, actually,” Delphine says, almost at a whisper, her fingers curling around Cosima’s wrist. “Something you said over coffee stuck with me, and I got home and I sat on my bed and I just knew it was time.”
Slowing to a stop, Cosima turns to look at her new friend, searching her eyes, wondering what the hell was happening.
“What did I say?” she manages, her voice low.
“Oh, it was something that you would call a… throwaway comment, maybe? But, to me, it was so honest and pure I… I couldn’t help but roll it around in my head, you know?”
Delphine’s smile is nervous, Cosima thinks, and nods for her to continue.
“You said that life, in the way that you see it, is full of paths that we can take. Ones that lead you to and from things and people and places, that the natural ebb and flow of the tide of the universe takes over and you can either fight the current or you can swim with it.”
There’s a pause, a beat, as Cosima searches Delphine’s face, and finds it earnest and present.
She shakes her head, a small smile breaking across her face, and her hand finds its way into Delphine’s, their fingers interlinking naturally.
“Wow, I really said that?” she offers, and Delphine laughs, squeezing their fingers together. “And you remembered the whole thing?”
“I did. I think, actually, that I will always remember it. I am not always so good with thinking outside of the scientific box, you know? But what you said gave me a little glimpse of what it would be like if I did.”
“And?” Cosima says quietly, fighting past the lump in her throat as she realises how closely together they’re standing.
“And… I liked it,” Delphine says, and Cosima could swear that Delphine’s gaze shifted from her eyes to her lips, just for a moment, before she was shaking them out of it. “But, come. I know I am only from across The Channel, but England seems particularly cold for September, no?”
They laugh, and Cosima nods in agreement, and they continue a conversation about the autumn in their respective home countries, but Cosima can’t feel the cold. All she can feel is a warmth spreading throughout her body like she’s never felt before.
She’s wondering if Delphine gets it too. She doesn’t feel like she’s getting this wrong. She doesn’t know how she possibly could.
~
Delphine walks her right to her door, even though Cosima insisted that she could leave her at the main entrance, at which point Delphine confessed to being a little nosey and wanting to see what her room was like.
They’d laughed some more and stomped up to the first floor, so that they were almost out of breath by the time they got there.
“It’s bigger than mine,” Delphine remarks over her shoulder, as Cosima follows, picking up stray bits of clothing as she goes.
“Well, then. In that case you should come over and watch a movie some time. My parents are paying for my Netflix, so…”
“Oh really?” Delphine says with a smirk. “Okay.”
“Okay,” Cosima grins, standing with her arms full of clothes.
“But now, I must go. I have some ramen noodles back at my halls that are not going to pour boiling water on themselves..."
“Well you could eat here, if you like? I can also offer ramen noodles, plus the added bonus of my company…” Cosima holds the ‘y’ at the end of her sentence, giving Delphine time to deliberate. And Cosima can almost see her mind working behind her eyes and wonders, not for the first time, just what exactly is going on back there.
“Ah, I would love to, mon ami, but I’m afraid that tonight is not our night. I’ve promised my parents a phone call – I’ve already put them off a few times so doing it again might mean trouble.”
“Cool, cool. Say no more,” Cosima says, dumping her clothes on her bed and trying not to let the disappointment sound in her voice. “Another time, for sure.”
“Bien, Cosima,” Delphine grins, and steps close to Cosima again, and this time, when she kisses her cheeks, Cosima can swear that Delphine is closer to her lips than the time before. “Ciao.”
“Ciao,” Cosima says again to a retreating Delphine as she holds the door open for her. She only closes it once Delphine has disappeared beyond the door to the landing and out of her sight.
~
“You’ve met someone,” one of her moms says, pointing her finger at the screen.
Cosima rolls her eyes but can’t hide her grin behind her hand quickly enough.
“Ha, I knew it. Jean, she has! I told you,” she shouts back to her wife, who Cosima imagines must be drying dishes in the kitchen.
“She’s a fast worker, our daughter!” is the called response.
“Yeah, just like her mother,” her mom winks.
Cosima closes her laptop with a shake of the head but allows herself the feeling of falling, ever so slightly.
~
She and Delphine exchange a few text messages that evening, as Cosima lounges on her bed that’s now covered in an orangey comforter that blends in with the deep maroons and purples of the rest of her throws that she’s draped over various items of otherwise platonic-looking furniture.
Turns out that Delphine’s mom (or maman) is a little harsher on Delphine than Cosima’s parents are on her. She managed to note the bags under her daughter’s eyes, which Delphine had tried to suggest was just from late night studying, though maman was clearly having none of it.
Cosima nibbled a little on her bottom lip as she composed a message that she hoped erred on the side of caution but simultaneously nudged at the edges of bravery.
I hadn’t noticed any bags, if that helps at all. You’ve looked lovely every time I’ve seen you.
The response takes a full seventeen minutes to come through, during which time Cosima thinks she’s put down her phone and picked it back up again no less then twice a minute, and she wonders what the crap she’s even doing to herself at this point.
Finally, though, her screen lights up, and she can almost hear Delphine’s gorgeous, dancing accent through her writing.
Ah, ma cherie, you are too kind to me! How about tomorrow night I say thank you with dinner? I can bring something over?
Not bothering to play it cool in the slightest, Cosima’s typing out a response with ring-adorned thumbs at a pace she hadn’t known she was capable of.
Totally no need to thank me for just stating pure and simple scientific facts – you being gorgeous has nothing to do with my opinion and everything to do with some of the things that molecules do and some strong, French genes. I knew I loved science for a reason ;) And yeah, tomorrow night sounds awesome. I’ll get wine.
She hits send before she loses her nerve and is beyond relieved when a smiley face comes though with a note saying that Cosima is very cheeky and a confirmation of her time of arrival for tomorrow evening’s rendezvous.
It’s not a date, Cosima. She tells herself, closing her eyes and lying down with her forearm across her forehead. It’s really not a date.
~
“Sounds like a date to me, Cos,” Sarah says unhelpfully, rotating 45 degrees in Cosima’s swivelling desk chair and then back again.
“It’s not, Sarah, okay?” Cosima replies, a little too short and snappy for her to even believe herself. “I don’t even know if she’d be into that.”
She’s tried on at least five different tops (a dress would be a bit much considering they’ll be watching a movie on her laptop whilst sat on her very small bed) and Sarah’s said yes to all of them, which is no help really. But she’s being even less helpful now, and she wonders if this is another side effect of being clones – they know exactly which buttons to push because their buttons are the same.
(At that thought Cosima stops for a second and considers her brooding clone, making a quick decision to keep Sarah as far away from Delphine as possible.)
“Well, you know what they say, Cos,” Sarah begins, leaning forward to rest her hands on her thighs, a gleam in her eye.
Despite herself, Cosima asks, “What?”
“Girls are like spaghetti – straight until we-”
“Get out!” Cosima yells through a laugh, throwing a pair of hareem pants as Sarah puts her hands up in surrender, catching them in mid-air.
“Okay, okay! I’m going! Bloody hell,” Sarah grins, chucking the pants back, and pausing with her fingers tapping the door handle. “Look, but seriously, Cos. Go easy, yeah? I don’t want her breaking your heart before term even starts, yeah?”
Cosima’s face softens, turning over a tank top in her hands, and nods at her clone/sister.
“I hear you. But, hey, maybe I’ll break hers.”
Sarah puffs out a laugh through her nose and shakes her head. “Maybe, geek monkey. I’ll see you tomorrow for the party, all right?”
Nodding, Cosima says goodbye to Sarah and checks her phone, realising that time has, once again, got away from her, and being half-naked when Delphine turns up might be going a little too fast for even her.
~
Delphine, without trying, looks stunning. She’s dressed casually, too, but as she’s unzipping her knee-high boots, Cosima accidently catches a look at her thighs from behind and images running her fingertips along the inside, feeling the rough and smooth of her tights as Delphine’s breath catches.
It all flashes before her eyes in less than a second, and Cosima has to turn around to steady her breathing – and her hands – before pouring them both a cup of wine (because no one had managed to bring any wine glasses along, but she did have two periodic table mugs that would have to do for now).
They settle on the bed with their backs to the wall and their feet just hanging off the end, Cosima’s laptop balanced on the desk chair in front of them as they dish out rice and noodles and vegetables between them. It had warmed Cosima how cool Delphine was about going veggie for the night (potentially more nervous about outing herself as a vegetarian than a lesbian meant that she was particularly relieved when Delphine had just said okay and asked if she liked ginger).
Picking a movie had been even more stressful. Anything gay-themed would be coming on too strong (plus, thanks for the selection, Netflix), anything French might seem like Cosima was pigeon-holing her new friend by her nationality, and anything science-y seemed too much like work for what was meant to be a relaxing evening.
In the end they went with The Big Lebowski, which Cosima knew would at least raise some interesting questions and, sure enough, as they munched through spring rolls and drank wine far too quickly, the conversation turned to nihilism, weed smoking and how awesome Julianne Moore is.
They had laughed, and Delphine had nudged her shoulder, and Cosima was glad she’d lit her room with candles as the evening wore on because the way the firelight flickered in Delphine’s eyes was mesmerizing.
She’s hooked. And a little tipsy. But pretty much too far gone to care.
It’s late when Delphine announces her imminent departure.
“Oh, no!” Cosima complains, but shifts herself off the bed and tidies up a little, their empty plates stacked on Cosima’s desk. “But it’s only… yeah, okay it’s almost midnight. Wow.”
“I know,” Delphine grins, throwing her scarf around her neck. “We talk like… well, like I’ve never talked with anyone else before, Cosima.”
“Yeah,” Cosima says, taking a step closer. “Yeah, same here.”
“It’s…” Delphine takes a big breath and closes her eyes, and Cosima can’t help but edge closer still. “Unexpected. You, this.” She gestures around the room before her eyes settle on Cosima.
She’s a good few inches shorter than Delphine, but in that moment that falls away, it becomes a non-issue, the space between them electrified. And Cosima knows she’s going to do it, even though there’s a little British voice in her head that’s warning her with a low Cosima… but she shrugs it off. Because Delphine’s eyes are hooded and, once again, they drop to Cosima’s lips.
There’s no mistaking it this time. Cosima just knows.
“I know, Delphine. I had no idea that I would meet you…”
It’s all she manages before she’s leaning forward on to her tiptoes and resting a hand on Delphine’s shoulder. She closes her eyes and arches her neck upwards.
And is gently but firmly pushed away.
“Cosima, I… I’m sorry, I…”
Cosima opens her eyes in a daze, trying to figure out what just happened, but Delphine’s already half out the door.
“What? Delphine, I thought…”
“It’s okay,” Delphine says with a wave of her hand. “Don’t worry. I have to go.”
And then she’s out of the door and it’s closed behind her.
Shell-shocked and regretting every single moment of her life that led her up to this point, Cosima stares into nothingness.
“Fuck,” she says into the sudden emptiness of her room.
Fuck.
~
She doesn’t tell Sarah. She can’t.
And Delphine isn’t responding to her texts.
Part of her wants to be hard on herself, remind her how stupid she is, but the other half still thinks that she wasn’t wrong. That she really did just know, for Christ’s sake.
But then, that’s a Leda trait. Stubbornness. Refusing to listen to reason even when it’s smacking you round the face with an obviously straight or at least not actually interested French goddess who smells like fancy cigarettes and expensive perfume.
Maybe she doesn’t know anything about women.
Maybe she doesn’t know anything at all.
~
What she does know is that she is not okay the next night when she sees Delphine again.
This time she’s not waving from the end of the bar, or biting her lip surveying a bookshelf, or grinning at her as she’s taking a sip of wine. This time she’s got her arms flung around some preppy dude’s neck as he’s grinding up against her.
It’s how Sarah finds her at the party, staring at the display on the dancefloor, and clutching her drink so tightly in her hand that her knuckles are going white.
“Shite,” Sarah says, though Cosima doesn’t turn her head. “That her then?”
Cosima does whip her head around then, dreads flicking her in the chin as she does.
Sarah’s shaking her head and downing the remains of her pint. “Can’t say I blame you, Cos. She’s fucking gorgeous. And, by the looks of it, filthy as fuck.”
Cosima doesn’t manage a word on the matter, because she really does not want to think about that right now, thanks, but just says shots loud enough for Sarah to hear, and makes a beeline for the bar.
It’s quite the display that she’s just seen. And she can’t ask herself if it’s for her benefit because Delphine is straight and that’s what straight people do. Each other. And it’s with that thought in her head that she starts to get as drunk as possible, as much as she needs to so that she can rid herself of the image from burning behind her eyes.
~
Part of her is well aware that it’s a dumbass move, playing the clone card to try and get someone’s attention, but they’ve had more free jello shots than they count, and common sense is currently not on the agenda. She doesn’t even know why she’d want to get Delphine’s attention anyway, not after what happened.
Cosima hadn’t heard anything from her since the other night, so she’d moved from alarmed to pissed at a rate of knots. She knew Delphine wasn’t in any trouble as she’d seen her from across campus (Delphine hadn’t seen her) and, fine, she wasn’t interested, but Cosima really thought they were becoming friends so ignoring her seemed pretty shitty.
She’s dancing up against Sarah, with their hands round each other’s necks, and she knows people are watching. Sarah, in her wonderful, inelegant way, is almost grinding down on Cosima’s thigh (but not quite – they’re too close to being sisters for that) with her eyes closed, clearly not giving a fuck about who’s watching. She’s just there to dance, and let go, before they throw themselves into studying on Monday.
Cosima can’t do that, though. She can’t quite seem to let go as her eyes roam the dancefloor, seeking Delphine.
She’d lost sight of her about half an hour ago and the jealousy stung red at the tips of her ears until she saw the douchebag dancing with some other guys so she knew that wherever Delphine was, she wasn’t with him.
But now, she can’t see either of them, and she’s wondering what the hell she’s doing, making a show of herself with Sarah, when she spots them again.
She wills her hips to keep moving, trying not to let on to Sarah that she’s about to have a minor freak out, watching as the dude spins Delphine around so she’s pressed against him, his front to her back.
Her eyes are closed and his hands are sliding up and down her waist, and Cosima wishes she could stop staring and almost does until Delphine opens hers and looks directly at her.
They don’t smile, or acknowledge each other in any way, but Cosima can feel Delphine’s gaze burn into hers from across the dancefloor.
She watches as Delphine sways her hips as the guy’s hands make their way up her stomach to rest just underneath her breasts. He’s all over her, yet she doesn’t take her eyes from Cosima’s.
The music is still fast, the beat still strong, and Sarah’s in the zone so it doesn’t seem like she notices too much as Cosima stills, almost coming to a stop. She’s trying to keep going, though, pretend that what she’s seeing in front of her isn’t bothering her in the slightest.
But it is, so very much, and as the guy moves his right hand so that his fingers just start to push under the top of Delphine’s jeans, Cosima realises she can’t take it anymore.
Pulling away from Sarah, she leans down to whisper that she needs some air. Her clone nods, furrows her brow – a silent question.
“I’m fine, just need a break. I’ll be back.”
Sarah lets her go and Cosima pushes her way through the bodies, making sure to keep well away from Delphine, and is stomping determinedly towards the door when there’s a hand on her wrist and she’s spun around.
“Cosima,” she hears before she can really understand what’s happening, but she has to shout above the music to be heard.
“What? What do you want, Delphine?” She’s harsh, she knows it, but she really fucking needs to get out of there and this is not helping.
“I…” Delphine stumbles, and Cosima throws her arm out of Delphine’s light grip.
“What? You don’t even know, do you?” Delphine hangs her head, blonde curls bouncing under the flashing lights of the union. “Look, you’ve probably left your boy-toy with a semi, so why don’t you go see to that and leave me alone, okay?”
She turns her head and finds the door before she can regret what she’s said, although it’s already too late. But she hears the door smack open and closed before she gets too far, and then there’s a much louder, angry French voice approaching her, so she stops by the side of the Performing Arts block under a dim orange street lamp.
“Do you really need to be so vulgar, hmm? Or are you just trying to hurt me?”
“Why would I do that, Delphine?” Cosima sighs, feeling herself deflate a little, and turns to see Delphine looking wild in white vest top and tight blue jeans and tears in her eyes.
“Because I… I hurt you.” She offers, looking at her feet, swaying slightly.
Cosima sighs, and takes a step forward. “I don’t want to hurt you, Delphine. I wouldn’t ever, because I…” She trails off, wringing her hands.
“Because you what?” Delphine asks quietly, closing the distance between them.
She doesn’t want to rise to it, and the anger flares up again. It’s not fair for Delphine to ask her that. Not when she already knows the answer.
“You know what? Forget it. You’ve made your feelings very clear.”
Cosima turns and, for the second time that evening, Delphine’s cool fingers are around her wrist and she’s spinning around fast, and before she knows anything more, Delphine’s got her pushed back against the wall and her lips are on Cosima’s in a desperate, forceful press that almost stops Cosima’s heart altogether.
It takes her a moment to respond, for her mind to catch up with her body, and then it’s like breathing when she wraps her arm around Delphine’s neck and pulls her in closer.
They move together quickly before Cosima slows a little, pulling back as if to ask a question, but it’s answered when Delphine moves in again, and Cosima feels a tentative tongue pressing against her bottom lip and she knows she’s done for.
Delphine’s hands are on her waist, gripping Cosima’s top, and Cosima just about melts when she hears a low moan escape from Delphine’s throat.
It’s Delphine who pulls away this time and, Cosima’s about to start panicking, expecting Delphine to run again, but, instead she leans her forehead against Cosima’s and takes a breath.
“Delphine, I…” Cosima starts, but then Delphine’s interrupting her.
“Take me home, Cosima,” she whispers. But it’s enough, and without wasting another second she’s got Delphine’s hand in hers and is leading them back to her room.
~
She manages a quick, apologetic text to Sarah en route, but they’re only minutes away so it’s not long before they’re both almost running up the stairs and Cosima’s willing her hands not to shake as she fumbles for her keys, lamenting the loss of contact with Delphine as she moves.
They make it inside without saying a word but, as soon as the door is shut, Delphine’s lips are seeking hers out again in the darkness, and she’s sliding Cosima’s cardigan off her shoulders.
As it pools on the floor, Delphine’s kissing her with such intent, forceful but gentle at the same time, and Cosima wonders if she’s ever been in control of this situation at all.
Willing herself to stop, just for a moment, she leans back and puts her hands on either side of Delphine’s face and gives them both the space to breath.
“Delphine, are you sure? I don’t want you to feel like we have to do this.”
“Cosima,” Delphine whispers, pressing chaste kiss against Cosima’s already bruised lips. “I want you.”
The words are clear, as are the hands roaming up Cosima’s stomach to the bottom of her top. It’s the only confirmation she needs.
The next time she kisses Delphine she pours everything into it, and it’s only then that she realises that she’s been holding back. It’s remained there, since the beginning, and it’s only now that she’s understanding how desperately she’s wanted Delphine the whole time.
And, even though her brain is currently mostly occupied with Delphine leaning back to pull Cosima’s top over her head, part of her wonders if it’s been there for Delphine for that long, too.
She needs more skin, though, so she shuts her brain off as best she can and peels Delphine’s tank top up and over her head. She only has a moment to register the wow before Delphine’s kissing her again and pushing her back so that her knees hit the bed.
She sits and takes the opportunity to unbutton Delphine’s jeans. She looks up, just try to check with Delphine that’s she’s okay with it, but all she sees is Delphine’s eyes squeezed tight with her teeth biting into her bottom lip. The way she’s illuminated by nothing but the streetlamps outside makes her look almost angelic, with her blonde curls gently covering one eye and her chest heaving, and Cosima feels a throbbing beginning between her legs that drives her forward.
Quick fingers pop the button open, and the sound of the zipper fills the room momentarily before Cosima’s leaning forward and kissing a soft line above Delphine’s panties as she rolls tight jeans down her thighs.
Cosima can smell her, then, and she breathes in slowly as she helps Delphine step out of the jeans altogether. It’s intoxicating, and she wants more, but they’re not quite there yet.
Gently, Cosima trails her fingers up the back of Delphine’s thighs, and smiles into her belly as she remembers the other night, and can’t believe she’s actually touching Delphine this way.
It’s almost overwhelming, so she knows she needs to change the pace, and bring Delphine back to her. With a gentle pull of the hand, she’s beckoning Delphine down towards her, and soon they’re laying face to face on Cosima’s single bed, pushed together as tightly as they can manage.
Cosima’s still wearing her skirt and tights, but she doesn’t mind for now – she doesn’t want to do too much too fast, so she settles for running her fingers through Delphine’s hair and holding on tight.
The kissing is phenomenal, and Delphine kisses like she thinks: with finesse and determination and passion. And Cosima realises that, once again, she’s not in control of this at all.
For once, she finds that she doesn’t care.
But it’s still a total surprise when Delphine pushes her onto her back and starts a very deliberate course down Cosima’s neck, kissing and stopping to suck in places, and Cosima groans into the darkness, fingers digging into Delphine’s back.
When her lips find their way to Cosima’s breast, Delphine stops for a moment, and Cosima holds her breath that she lets out with a groan as she feels lips closing around a nipple through her bra.
“Holy fuck,” she manages, and wants to squeeze her thighs together but Delphine’s knee is between hers, preventing any actual contact.
“Yeah?” Delphine asks, her voice muffled by the nipple in her mouth.
“Hell yeah,” Cosima manages, and pushes Delphine’s head down in encouragement.
Impressively, Delphine’s fingers find Cosima’s other nipple on their first try and they squeeze gently, almost like Delphine is testing her.
“Harder is okay,” Cosima offers, and she thinks she feels Delphine smile against her breast as she increases the pressure between her thumb and forefinger, and Cosima can’t help but arch her back.
“You like this?” Delphine asks, lifting her mouth and finding Cosima’s again, and Cosima can only nod an affirmation into her mouth. “Good.”
Cosima can barely believe this is happening to her, that this is where they are right now, and recalls Sarah’s comment from earlier in the evening, something about Delphine being filthy as fuck, and wonders how she knew.
Either way, she was completely right, because Delphine is leaning back and pulling down Cosima’s skirt and tights in one motion, and removing her own bra before she lowers herself back towards Cosima, and, instead of coming back in for a kiss she hovers with her breasts hanging down above Cosima’s face.
“Oh my god,” is all Cosima can manage as she lifts her head up to try and claim a nipple but Delphine’s looking right at her and moves out of the way before Cosima can find one. Cosima groans, but Delphine is looking down with her hair curtaining her face, and Cosima feels herself getting uncomfortably wet.
Delphine lowers her chest down slightly and Cosima tries again, only for Delphine to move out of the way.
“What do you say?” Delphine asks, her accent thick and heavy in the darkened room.
“What?” Cosima swallows, hands roaming over Delphine’s bare back.
“If you want something, what do you say?”
Shit, Cosima thinks. She’s going to ruin me.
But what she says is, “Please, Delphine.”
And Delphine obliges, pushing her breast into Cosima’s face, her hardening nipple into Cosima’s mouth, but coupling it with a push of her knee against Cosima’s now soaking cunt.
Cosima whimpers as Delphine groans above her, releasing a quiet expletive that Cosima doesn’t need to understand to know what it means, and she switches nipples, giving due attention to both of them.
She feels Delphine’s arms shaking next to her on the pillow, and pulls away to ask if she’s okay, but Delphine’s mouth is on hers again, and she’s pushing down so that their bodies groan together.
It’s then that Cosima feels how wet Delphine is because she has soaked through her knickers so much that they may as well be off.
And, because it’s that sort of evening, Cosima finds her fingers at the edge of Delphine’s underwear and starts to remove them as Delphine lifts her hips and lets Cosima do it.
The feeling of her, then, warm and wet against Cosima’s thigh, is almost too much, but she steels herself and, finding some energy from somewhere, pushes herself up and flips them over so Delphine’s on her back.
Poised over Delphine for a moment, they both breathe, and Cosima kisses her again, glad to have found some way of tipping the balance, and puts herself back in charge.
Kissing away from her mouth and round to her ear, Cosima sucks the lobe and whispers, “I want to be inside you.”
Delphine’s moan is a clear agreement, and Cosima moves her hand between their bodies and, for the first time, slides her fingers through Delphine’s wet heat and fuck if it’s even better than she had imagined.
Avoiding her clit for the moment, Cosima drags two fingers up through the wetness, of which there is plenty, and pushes gently against her entrance before moving out and up again.
She moves slowly, repeating the action with her lips against Delphine’s neck, and finally hears a breathy, please from her new lover’s mouth, and can’t bear to tease her any longer.
Moving back a little, Cosima looks into Delphine’s eyes and says, “Spread your legs.”
With another moan, Delphine complies.
“Good girl,” Cosima whispers, and leans on her side to get better access, enjoying the reversal of roles.
Keeping their eyes on each other, Cosima slowly pushes two fingers into Delphine’s cunt and they both sigh at the relief of it.
“Fuck, you feel incredible, Delphine,” Cosima manages, and starts a slow, shallow rhythm.
But Delphine’s already too worked up for that, it seems, and she grabs Cosima’s forearm and, still looking into her eyes, says clearly and firmly: “Fuck me.”
And Cosima does, pushing into Delphine’s widening cunt all the way up to the knuckle with force, and pulls back almost until they’re out and does it again, revelling in the cries that are working their way out from Delphine’s throat.
She takes no time in increasing the speed, feeling the wetness pool between her own legs and onto Delphine’s thigh that she can’t help from pushing into.
“Faster, Cosima. Please,” Delphine whines, and it burns Cosima’s arm but she’s so ready for this, and does as she’s asked.
Delphine’s releasing a series of short, high-pitched moans that Cosima finds she is now living for, even as she feels Delphine’s cunt start to clench around her fingers, much faster than she’d expected.
“Yes?” Cosima asks, breath ragged and catching.
“Yes, yes Cosima!” Delphine manages, and Cosima finds the spot that she’s been dying for and pushes against it, fucking Delphine with everything that she’s got, with a speed she didn’t know she was capable of.
It’s accidental, really, the way that she pushes against Delphine’s thigh through her own knickers, and she know she can’t hold back any longer, and feels her own orgasm building too fast.
“Delphine,” she says, almost frantic with the movements of both of their bodies, Delphine’s hips moving as if of their own accord. “Delphine, I think I’m going to come with you.”
“Yes!” Delphine cries, and pulls Cosima’s head to her chest. “Come with me, come with me…”
Cosima is so close, she can feel it, but doesn’t want to slow her rhythm inside Delphine. So she pushes on, as fast as she can, fucking Delphine’s cunt in a way that she’s sure will leave her aching tomorrow, but she knows it’s what they both want.
So she flicks her thumb over Delphine’s hard clit and whispers, “Come for me,” against her chest even as she feels herself breaking.
And then they both are, Cosima pushing down onto Delphine’s strong thigh, and they both cry out, together, as one, as Delphine’s cunt contracts around Cosima’s fingers and releases a flood of wetness as Cosima continues to grind down, seeing out both of their orgasms for them.
They’re breathing heavily, even as Cosima’s working Delphine through the aftershocks, pushing slowly against the resistance, and Delphine’s hand finds her wrist and brings it to a stop.
Cosima takes a moment, kisses Delphine’s chest, and finds her way back to Delphine’s mouth for a sloppy kiss that they both sigh into.
Pulling out slowly, carefully whilst Delphine is still twitching, Cosima wipes her hand on her own leg and gently lays herself down with her head on Delphine’s shoulder.
Delphine chuckles, and Cosima looks up at her, grinning, as their legs wrap around each other’s.
“What?” Cosima asks and Delphine turns her head to kiss Cosima’s.
“How is it, cherie, that I am very, very much naked and you are still in all of your underwear and your glasses?”
“You make an excellent point,” Cosima grins, and presses a tight, smiling kiss against Delphine’s mouth before leaning up to remove all of the offending garments.
Delphine hums as Cosima presses their bodies together, enjoying a gentle moment of tracing fingertips over delicate, cooling skin, and rubs her nose along Delphine’s jawline.
“Cosima,” Delphine starts, and Cosima knows that she’s about to say something vaguely serious by the tone of her voice. “I am sorry. About before. I was… scared. I had already… fallen for you, I think, and when you –”
“Hey,” Cosima stops her, leaning up to find Delphine’s eyes. “It’s okay. I was scared too. It’s been so sudden, this. I should have waited.”
“Non,” Delphine says, shaking her head, leaning up to leave a gentle kiss against Cosima’s lips. “We had already waited too long.”
Cosima rolls her eyes, threading their fingers together. “Delphine, it’s only been a few days…”
“Like I said,” Delphine whispers. “Too long.”
Sighing with a smile, Cosima rolls back over Delphine’s body, feeling their breasts press together and the hot warmth of both their sexes begin to reawaken.
“Well, if that’s how you feel, perhaps we should make up for lost time.”
Smiling widely, Delphine flips them over, surprising Cosima once again.
“I agree completely,” she says, and Cosima smiles into a kiss that feels a lot like it might be a beginning without an end.
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