Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

My phone was sandwiched between my ear and my shoulder, the smooth voice from the other side of the line explaining to me that there had been an incident involving my son. My fingers hovered over my work keyboard and I stared blankly at my screen, closely listening to what I was being told. From start to finish, the scenario was played out for me before the voice fell quiet allowing me to process everything.

Finally, "Well Mr. Sawamura, I know you are a very busy man but I am concerned about your son's behavior today-"

The chatter of children buzzed in the background, "I completely understand, please let me know what I can do." I finally spoke, breaking myself from my trance.

There was a thoughtful pause followed by a small sigh, "I feel bad about asking this of you, but I think we may need to have a short parent-teacher conference?" this came out more as a question than a statement. I can pretty much hear a hint of distinct uncertainty in the man's voice.

The phone call moved along shortly after this, at this point I really had no other choice but to agree, in all honesty, I was almost excited. This excitement however really only pertained to the opportunity of getting to see my son's teacher.

The void of feeling disappointment or anger towards the boy for the alleged trouble he had been causing made the small tinges of excitement stick out like a sore thumb.

In an attempt to overlook the shy guilt I could feel building in the pit of my stomach, I reminded myself Tobio had recently begun living with me alone and due to my hectic work schedule, had to be enrolled in daycare.

Seeing as Tobio was not only young but also somewhat pretentious when it came to other kids, it was understandable how he would not be adapting well to his new surroundings regardless if he already had friends in the class or not.

It hadn't really helped that even a couple of days into meeting Mr.Sugawara and enrolling Tobio, I had been unspeakably late to come to pick my boy up. But since then, after hours of stressing and going 35 miles over the speed limit, I had been pretty timely. Only sneaking in basic conversation with the gray-headed man, 'hello's' and 'how are you's' when I came.

Each time I would follow my better judgment of not trying to make more small talk past that. Constantly I would try to convince myself to give in and try, but I knew my intentions went past innocent friendly chatter. If only I had a quarter for every time I had to remind myself that he was my son's teacher.

That is until I got a phone call from the daycare.

Now I find myself here, sitting in a chair that is uncomfortably small for me at an equally small table with bright shapes of all different categories spread across it. Tobio's, undeniably attractive, daycare teacher sitting with folded legs directly across from me.

Mr.Sugawara picked up his arms and folded them over each other on top of the table. He pushed some of the falling hair behind his ear sighing deeply as he did.

"So, Mr.Sawamura..." I could feel the stress in his voice. The softness that hung on his words created a contrast heavy weight that shot past my ears straight down to the pit of my stomach, bursting as it hit the bottom, freeing a wave of butterflies.

He continued, and immediately my ears perked up, "as I said on the phone, Tobio has gotten himself into some trouble. A fight, actually".

This was a fact that was left out from the earlier phone call, but in all honesty, I couldn't say I was surprised at this fact. I almost felt like I had almost even called it, through my weak attempts to comfort my guilty conscience earlier in the day.

But regardless the notion was true, setting my excuse aside, Tobio has always been a strong-willed boy. Even at such a young age he felt like the world owed him something, not that I could blame him he was an amazing kid (I wouldn't replace him for the world) ( I mean of course I wouldn't; he's my son, not a pair of jeans that didn't fit).

I looked at the grey-haired man and tried to feign the expression of shock, letting my head fall lightly to the side. Mr.Sugawara's eyes met mine, and for a second his face was unreadable. I almost had half the mind to think he had seen through me until he gave me the look. The look that could only be described as sympathy.

God, I hated that look. I hated people how people always gave me that fucking look. Ever since she left that's the only look I ever get from anyone any more people thought they owed it to me. My chest felt heavy again but this time it was different.

"Why? With who?" I asked, discreetly attempting to wipe the nervous sweat from the palm of my hand onto the surface of my jeans.

The man's brown eyes widened with what I could only identify as embarrassment before softening again into the same pity he wore earlier, before answering though, he called Tobio over.

Tobio was sat quietly across the room with his face buried in a volleyball magazine when Mr.Sugawara called him over. I could see a touch of clear annoyance on his face as he trotted over to our footstool sized 'table'.

Tobio's attitude, on most occasions, never ceased to surprise me but this was different. For days he had ranted and raved about how much he enjoyed Mr.Sugawara's company, and now it seems he can't even stand to be around him.

Briefly, I moved my eyes from studying Tobio and moved them towards Mr.Sugawara who looked away in an embarrassing state. It almost seemed like he was scared to look at me or Tobio.

"Buddy, what happened today?" I asked, grabbing his shoulders lightly attempting to relieve the tension. Tobio's face balled up as he looked up at me before tearing his eyes away.

His voice was so quiet I almost couldn't hear him, "Well, I got into a fight with Shoyou",

Now, this was interesting information. Tobio, as much as I've tried to put past him, was kind of known to hate a lot of things and didn't get along great with a lot of people. Shoyou, no matter how much of an act Tobio tried to push, was not one of these people. Sure, he may act as if he couldn't stand the boy but it was so clear that the boy had an overwhelming soft spot for the other.

Attempting to put my knowingness in the back of my mind, I put on my best-surprised tone. "Shoyou?! You guys are best friends. What happened?"

I moved my eyes from Tobio to Mr.Sugawara again, attempting to gauge his reaction to all of this. To my surprise, the man was looking back up at me but when our eyes met he once again tore his away in embarrassment, but even that split second of eye contact made my heart skip a beat. As bad as I felt for Tobio's sake, I couldn't deny the return of the underlying heat in my chest I felt being around the man.

I almost hated that this was the card I was dealt with, having an unwarranted school girl crush on my son's daycare teacher, especially when I'm supposed to be focusing on the fact that my son just got into a fight with someone he's been friends with since birth. And was absolutely not supposed to focus on the fact that the velvety glow of the man's skin and the puffiness of the man's bottom lip, a result of biting it from the stress, made my stomach do flips.

Tobio hesitated, I could tell he was debating against his desire to be open with me but risking letting the other man see him with his guard down. Sighing, he decided to spit it out" he said he wants to marry Mr.Sugawara".

Again, the quietness of his voice made it so I just barely caught it, but as it hit me I felt an odd wave of confusion. As I thought about it, as bad as I felt for thinking it, kids are typically attracted to pretty things so in a way it only made sense that Shoyou took a liking to Mr.Sugawara. Hell, before this incident, Tobio had taken a liking to the man as well- not to the level of marriage, but a liking nonetheless.

Before I could question him further he spoke up again, and what came next sent me into a further state of shock and confusion.

"He's supposed to marry me! It's not fair!", and although Mr.Sugawara did not catch it, as I eyed the small boy, I noticed the small pools of water begin attempting to fall from the boy's eyes. I could feel my heart aching a little bit, not even thinking of taking the actual severity into consideration but rather reacting as a parent whose child is hurting.

" it's not fair... I've known him longer. I've liked him longer"

A couple of tears had successfully squeezed from the boy's eyes, however, he wiped them away so swiftly so that even under my watchful eye, I had almost failed to notice. I couldn't tell if it's because he doesn't want to cry in front of the teacher or if it's because Yuu just came in hand in hand with Shoyou.

Chapter Text

"Sorry, we're late. Traffic was hectic" Yuu said, taking a seat on the floor at the end of the table pulling Shouyou into his lap.

Before Yuu had even opened his mouth again, Mr.Sugawara had abruptly excused himself to head to the restroom. As he stood and announced his brief departure, I noticed that his eyes were nervously darting around the room in an attempt to avoid eye contact. At first, I had tried to convince myself that his exit had nothing to do with Tobio's confession, causing the man to flee in an attempt to momentarily spare himself from the embarrassment. But the tomato red blush that ignited Mr. Sugawara's face as he headed out the door was enough to convince me otherwise.

Shoyou looked up awkwardly at Tobio and then towards the door of the classroom.

"Da where's O-Me?"

Yuu rested his chin on Shoyou's head as he answered: "He had to finish something at work, he'll be here soon". As if on cue, Asahi bolted in the room. His hair was tied up in a messy bun, the loose strands of hair were being held back by his glasses which rested just in front of the crown of his head.

He stumbled to where we were all sitting and hastily took a seat next to Yuu, swiftly giving him a kiss on the cheek and then Shouyou a pat on the head. Knowing Asahi, he most likely was rushing to get situated because he was under the false assumption that he had made it before Mr.Sugawara. Honestly, punctuality had never been the long-haired man's strong suit, and through the years of spending countless hours together both in and outside of work, I had learned that the hard way.

They both looked over at me giving me big smile's as we engaged in the usual, mindless, silence filling small talk. However, between the three of us, the small talk wasn't forced or awkward. Yuu, Asahi, and I had been best friends since high school seeing as we were on the same volleyball team. Even after graduation, before we three even had the chance to become distanced, I had Tobio and they adopted Shoyou, so it only made sense that he and Tobio would be childhood friends and we three would stay in constant contact. Even if this had not been the case, Asahi and I were working for the same company. When you really think about it, it's almost as if I couldn't escape the two -- even if I really, really tried.

Soon, Mr.Sugawara returned, and our chit-chat ceased as he took his seat again before us. Against my better judgment, out of fear of getting caught staring, I scanned his face for any lingering trace of emotion and I was almost relieved to see that his face was pretty much back to its milky state. Shamefully enough, I put a heavy amount of stress on that 'almost' part, I would never admit it out loud but she silver-haired man's embarrassed expression was cute.

He clapped his hands together awkwardly as he began to speak, pulling me from my realm of thought, "So, I've called you all here today because it seems that Shoyou and Tobio have had a bit of a falling out."

At that moment Asahi let out a loud gasp, "Yuu! You told me that we were having a meeting about Shoyou being in the sandcastle building nationals" he exclaimed, sadly it didn't sound sarcastic.

Yuu tried to suppress his laughter "Ok, first of all, that was an obvious lie, and I can't believe you actually fell for it. Secondly, I think we all know if I had told you that Shoyou had gotten into a fight you would have a nervous breakdown."

"It's true" I added smugly. In all my years knowing the pair, Asahi had been the level-headed worrywart who was too caring for his own good, and Yuu had been energetic and carefree. Sometimes I didn't really understand how they even made their relationship work but I guess opposites attract. It's been like 5 years and couldn't even wrap my head around on how they were able to care for a child for at least this long with not even one death scare.

Asahi looked at us both in betrayal with his mouth gaping.

"Close your mouth, babe. You're going to catch flies," Yuu said, reaching over Shoyou's head to gently attempt to push Asahi's chin upwards.

Yuu dropped his hand back down and looked over at Mr.Sugawara.

"Do you know why they got into a fight?" He questioned with genuine curiosity. A question I knew would perplex them out of anything that could have been asked. It almost felt like deja vu from only moments before when I had first heard the news behind us all being here.

Mr.Sugawara's tongue flicks over his bottom lip. My heart starts to race a little, honestly, I was a little bit taken aback at how he could do that so carelessly. Did he know the effect that that had on people? His stature alluded that it was all subconscious, which made it all the more dangerous. Nothing scarier than an individual who doesn't know they're attractive, it's like a loaded gun with the safety on.

In my thoughtful staring at the man's lips, I watched them part slightly as he tried to form the words of his explanation but it seems like the words just wouldn't come out. He kept tripping over his words, soft whispers of words sputtered from his mouth, sounding similar to an old scratched record. Once again, in his struggle, the tomato red blush returned to his face and the wave of butterflies fluttered in my chest -- then followed by a wave of guilt.

In a self-redeeming attempt to relieve myself of the guilt, I blurted "Tobio has a crush on Shoyou, and he was mad because Shoyou was giving his attention to someone else.".

The bashful man in front of me looked at me, the relief clear in his eyes, as he flashed me a small closed-lip smile as if to say thank you and for a moment it kind of made up for the death stare that Tobio was giving me. This time, it was my turn to sport a blush but not from embarrassment, that blush was now worn by the two boys who had brought us here in the first place.

Tobio looked over to Shoyou quickly and his face instantly dropped the look of betrayal full to embarrassment. We all watched as he pulled his eyes away from Shoyou and turned his head up to the ceiling, letting out a distressed moan, before slamming his head on the table.

"Dad, oh my god" he groaned, face down on the table.

I sold my son's most precious secret for a fucking smile, damn. Really, awfully enough, it was worth it but I would obviously never let him know that.

Yuu looked over at Asahi and whispered "you owe me $10, " and then leaned down to whisper something to Shoyou. The fact that they had been betting on my son's emotions was scandalous and strange but not something that really shocked me at this point. Honestly, at this point, I don't think I even had the right to find it scandalous as I had basically done the same thing but with something better than money.

Shoyou slowly got up from Yuu's lap and walked over to Tobio's side of the table pulling him up by the arm to stand in front of him. Even as Tobio rose to stand, his body slumped, barely able to keep himself from throwing himself down in shame.

I can't lie, I was a bit scared. With Yuu's influence on whatever he told Shoyou, anything could happen. Sometimes I questioned whether Shoyou was actually adopted because Yuu and Shoyou were just so much alike and this had only furthered my disbelief on how they have been able to keep that boy alive.

Shoyou took one of Tobio's hands in his, reaching the other to caress the small of Tobio's face gently lifting it to bring his eyes to Shoyou's.

"Let's run away together. They just don't understand our love, baby" Shoyou cooed. Tobio's face twisted in horrified confusion, but before he could open his mouth, Shoyou slapped him.

Shoyou exclaimed "I hate you" then quickly kissed Tobio aiming for his lips but missing almost completely, "but I love you."

Asahi's head shot in my direction with his mouth fully agape, trying to gauge my reaction, before shooting to Yuu, exclaiming "Yuu I told you to stop letting Shoyou watch soap operas."

Asahi's mouth moved a mile a minute, scolding Yuu about the consequences of letting Shoyou watch soap operas as Yuu fell back on the floor, clutching the sides of his stomach in laughter. I probably would have been laughing too if I wasn't in such a perplexing state of utter confusion.

Tobio's mouth was still gaping in shock while Shoyou had already gotten over what just happened and started rambling to him about some volleyball match he saw on T.V. At this point, I was so far down the rabbit hole of shock, I hadn't even noticed that Mr.Sugawara had stood up and was standing behind me until he tapped my shoulder.

Frantically, I stumbled to stand in front of him, and when I finally did get up, I was almost too embarrassed to look at him. Not particularly because of the situation, but more so because it happened in front of him. I stumbled with my words as I tried to find what I was trying to say to try and explain just happened but I couldn't find it in myself to actually get anything out other than just really weird mouth noises.

He raised his small hand and put it on my shoulder " Thank you so much for covering me back there.", he said in a small voice. " I-, I was just so embarrassed I don't want you or them to be under the impression or be disappointed that I am unable to do my own job properly."

Knowing how my previous attempt to talk, I stared at the man for a second, trying to gather my thoughts and prepare a response. My brain was going a million different places all while I actively tried to fight letting another blush fight its way on my face. Finally, I had compiled a response but before I could express it, Yuu loudly announced that they would be leaving now.

I glanced at the gray-headed man in front of me and decided, against my not so better judgment, that it would probably be better for both him and I called it there to save ourselves from any further embarrassment.

"I should get going too," I managed out, trying my best to smile without making it obvious that I was so undeniably into him.

"Have a beautiful night, Mr.Sugawara."

I picked up Tobio and rested him on my hip heading for the door. I was almost scared that Tobio might have been able to feel my heartbeat off my chest to his. "You can call me Koushi" He called after me quietly. So quietly I almost didn't catch it, so I pretended not to and walked out, down the hallway, out the doors and into the parking lot.

When I reached my car, Yuu was leaning against it with Shouyou, and when he saw me, he instantly broke out in a smile. I let Tobio down and told him to play with Shoyou while I talked to Yuu.

"So, what's going on with you and Mr.Sugawara" He instantly asked

"I don't know what you mean," I replied, half genuine and half knowingly.

"Come on man; you look at him like he's the best thing since sliced bread."

I sigh " I don't even know him." Then I began to smirk " You watch soap operas?"

"Shut the..." He trailed off looking at the two boys for a moment, " Fudge up. Asahi makes me a sap for love stories!"

Chapter Text

I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand and slammed the knife that occupied my other hand on the messy kitchen countertop. Tears of frustration almost fell from my eyes, my wrists throbbing from the hours of my countless attempts at cooking.

Looking at all the failed attempts materialized as inedible scraps of what once used to be food, I had almost tried to let myself believe I was only doing so poorly because of the pain of my wrists. Almost had half the mind to try and use the excuse of claiming the pain started from the hours spent typing and writing at my desk from work.

But I didn't even allow myself to further entertain my one-man pity parade, knowing fully well that it was better to just admit the inevitable then to live off a lie.

Nevertheless, even with the self-rewarding feeling of allowing myself to accept the truth, my pride was still hurt. I almost felt embarrassed; why was it so hard to make a simple boxed lunch.

Momentarily, I squeezed my eyes shut in hopes that the lack of a visual reminder of my shame would halt my embarrassment. when I opened them again, I quickly glanced at the clock on my laptop, 12:33 A.M. it read. I let out a huge sigh as I closed out of my countless "How to pack your kids lunchbox" tutorials and roughly pushed the laptop shut before tucking it under my arm. I was so exhausted that cleaning up my mess wasn't even a priority.

Pushing cleaning to the back of my mind, I almost let myself skip up the stairs until I remembered that Tobio had fallen asleep hours earlier on the couch while he was watching Voltron on Netflix in the living room.

Slowly and quietly, I tiptoed over the small sleeping boy where he was sprawled out on the couch and gently scooped him into my arms, leaving my laptop in the space that remained.

I carefully began walking towards the stairs, I couldn't help but look down at the raven-haired boy that I cradled in my arms.

I couldn't comprehend how someone so small could take up such a large portion, maybe even all, of my heart. I couldn't comprehend that, for him, I would risk everything. I would give him the moon, the sun, the stars, the trees if he so much as asked for it.

It was at this point that I had waddled up the stairs and was making my way towards Tobio's volleyball themed room.

The room was lined with posters of a variety of different volleyball teams and even pictures of me when I was a high school volleyball captain. On the floor were scatters of crayons and different portraits Tobio had drawn out of blank printer paper of himself and Shoyou, and Shoyou and Me and him, and even some of her.

I inwardly winced at the mere thought but quickly put it to the back of my mind, gently bending over to lay him in his bed.

God, I needed to sleep this day off.

I leaned over Tobio's bed, getting ready to tuck him in until I noticed his eyes slowly peeled open.

"Dad, can I sleep with you?" His voice was so quiet I almost didn't catch it.

My heart swelled. The sun, the stars, the moon, the trees, I wanted to give it all to him. Forget asking, he deserved it.

In fear of swooning to him out loud and boosting his already massive ego, I just nodded quietly. Tobio lazily lifted his arms up, letting me know without words that he had no plans of walking there himself. Chuckling at him, I bent over and gently picked him up. Instantly he clung to my neck while we made our way to my room, holding on to me as if I might vanish if he were to let go for even a second.

That is until my bed came into reach. Then he hopped out of my arms and sprawled out over the mattress, I soon followed his example.

Drifting off to sleep.

*

*

*

"So, you have a crush on Sugawara?" Asahi asked.

His words instantly made me tense and I tore my eyes from my keyboard to look at him.

"Jesus, Asahi, you can just ask that," I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Do you though?"

I let out a heavy sight. Why must we be having this conversation? Knowing full well that it would just be in my best interest to give him an answer instead of holding off, only to get asked constantly for the rest of my life, I give Asahi the satisfaction of an answer.

"I just think he's really, I don't know, beautiful. That's all ''.Looking at him through my eyelashes as I continued "I swear, sometimes I think that man bun of yours is so tight it's cutting off your brain circulation."

Asahi gave me a shit-eating grin. "Well, for the record, I think you should go for it. He's cute, good with kids, looks at you like you're god's gift to the earth. Basically the whole package."

I leaned back in my chair folding my arms behind my head. " Ok, first of all, he does not look at me like-"

The sound of all 'Lemonade' by Beyoncé, my ringtone, interrupted me mid-sentence. The song choice made a vibrant blush of embarrassment spread across my cheeks.

I pulled out my phone and glanced at the name that was spelled out on the screen.

Mr.Sugawara. After he called me the other day, I thought it would be better to save it. For the convenience of course! Nothing else.

"speak of the devil" I mumbled as I answered, trying to hide the small bit of excitement that I knew was inside of me.

Immediately I was met with the soft angelic voice I had fawned over just yesterday, in this very same seat.

"Hey. It's me, Mr.Sugawara. Koushi. Your son's daycare teacher? I know you're at work and all but I had to call you. Please don't be mad, I'm really sorry. He's fine. But I'm sorry, and, oh my god I'm sor-"

"Hey hey hey" I softly interjected. "You don't have to apologize. I'm sure everything's fine, and you're more than welcome to call me anytime." This statement earned a cocky smirk from Asahi which set off the realization of what I was saying.

Quickly, I attempted to save myself from impending embarrassment, "What happened?"

The line went quiet for a moment before I heard the breathy nervousness through the phone, tickling my ear, as he prepared to talk again, "Tobio got sick".

The lunch box I made. " I'll be right there. Thanks for cal-"

Before I had the chance to say goodbye Asahi snatched the phone out of my hand saying things like 'Daichi thinks you're really pretty' and ' he wants to know if you want to date him'.

I instantly snatched the phone back after that glaring at him while I held the phone back to my ear.

"Sorry about that. Asahi's man bun is cutting off his brain circulation. I'll be there soon"

Before even letting Mr.Sugawara reply, I started scolding Asahi. "How old are you? 5? 6? Jesus Christ"

Ignoring Asahi and his smug remarks, I quickly muttered another quick apology into the phone followed by a goodbye to which was returned and marked the end of the phone call.

I slammed my phone down and punched Asahi in the chest. He was huge so of course, it didn't do any kind of damage, he even laughed a little bit.

"You're an ass, do you know that?"

*

*

*

Finally, when I had reached the building I sprinted towards the nurse's office where I saw Sugawara sitting in the waiting area filling out something that looked like paperwork.

He was so deep into the work that he hadn't even noticed my presence until I had stood in front of him and quietly cleared my throat.

The grey-haired man instantly shot up.

"Daichi," the man exclaimed, nearly dropping the clipboard and paperwork. The sound of my name coming from him caused my heart to skip a beat.

"Hello, Mr.Sugawara" I replied softly.

"I don't know what happened! He said his tummy hurt then out of nowhere he just started throwing up" He said. His big brown eyes sparkling as he talked.

"About that... I tried to make him lunch but I'm not a cook whatsoever and now... Here we are I guess."

Sugawara looked down and played with his fingers. " um..." he trailed off and went silent before he continued again " Um well, if you want, I could maybe teach you? So Tobio won't get sick anymore... maybe?"

His face twisted a little, kind of like he said something that he really didn't mean to. " I mean, no. Never mind, that was so unprofessional -- forget I even asked."

But it was already too late, in that instant, I was on cloud nine.

Chapter Text

Silence filled the room and a look of confusion flashed across Daichi's face.

Oh my god.

Oh my god

I had always had the problem of being a blabbermouth but volunteering to teach one of my student's dad how to cook was a little bit over the top.

I couldn't help myself. Daichi was just so... Daichi

Tall

Tan

Handsome

I quickly shook my previous thoughts out of my head. He is one of my student's dad and by the look on his face, I had definitely overstepped my boundaries. Embarrassment instantly washed over my body and I buried my face in my hands to hide the burning blush that was evident on my cheeks.

"oh my god, I'm so sorry. I probably shouldn't have said that. Now I look like a complete freak and I'm starting to ramble. I'm so embarra-" My self-loathing mumbling was cut short by a startled gasp that slipped from my lips when I felt a large set of hands wrap themselves around my wrists.

In all honesty, I was confused and a little turned on.

Daichi's hands were covered in a light layer of callus that gave them a slight roughness and they were so perfectly wrapped around my wrists. Shivers ran down my spine as I thought of the things that those hands could do to me.

It wasn't until Daichi spoke that I snapped out of my hand trance.

"No, you're fine. So fine. In fact, I'd absolutely love it if you would teach me how to make some dishes."

He licked his lips before he continued, "Maybe if you're not busy, you could join us for dinner".

I felt like I was standing on the sun, burning alive. I couldn't help but beam up at him, smiling so hard It almost hurt and he was smiling back.

I noticed that Daichi's hand had slightly lost some of its grip and were now hanging loosely around the base of my palm, his palm was spooning my knuckles, and his pinky slightly intertwined with mine.

Daichi has taken a notice to this too because he awkwardly released my hand and let out a small, dry, cough. The loose string on my apron suddenly became much more interesting and I began to pick at it.

" I would love too,"

There was an awkward pause, so in a desperate attempt to try to fill it I spoke up again.

"Join you for dinner, I mean."

*

*

*

I sat in my car outside of Daichi and Kageyama's house resting my forehead on the steering wheel. It was obvious that I had made a mistake coming here.

I'm so undeniably gay and Daichi was the definition of my dream man.

But Daichi has prohibited territory in every way possible. I even took it upon myself to make a list entitled: Reason why Daichi Sawamura is poison

1) He's my student's dad.

2) He's a dad. Meaning he's 99.99% likely to be a flaming heterosexual who has no interest in other men. How else would he have been able to have a biological son? And unlike Mr.Yuu and Mr.Asahi, there didn't seem to be another partner in the relationship.

3) If there is, by unlikely chance, that he is interested in me he will definitely break my heart in a way that I can never recover from. Even if we end on a good note I'll still be destroyed because Daichi is perfect and I know I'll never meet another guy like him.

4) HE'S MY STUDENT'S DAD!!!

A deep sigh filled the silence of my car as I ran my hand over my face.

'Just leave. Go home and say something came up and you couldn't make it' I thought to myself.

Before I could act on that thought, however, I saw a mass of black hair trotting down the long, elegant, driveway and to my car. Tobio Rounded his way around to the driver's side and opened my door.

" My dad said you've been out here for a long time and he's starting to get worried."

I glanced up at the big house and I could make out Daichi's outline leaning against the doorway.

Tobio reached for my wrist and pulled me seemingly in an attempt to get me out of the car before I could even attempt to make up an excuse. Between his groans, he managed out "Were really hungry. So, if you would just come with me, please."

For a kid, Tobio was surprisingly fast and I struggled to keep up with him as we ran to the doorway of the house. I could see Daichi chuckling at the scene. When we made it to the door I couldn't help but notice that Daichi's sleeves were rolled up, revealing some of his toned forearms, and his usually neat hair was now all over and messy. He looked almost sinful.

I could already feel that tonight was going to be hard for me, I might even have to go against my list, just a little.

Chapter Text

I felt his small warm hands run frantically against my forearm.

"Daichi, please stop!" The smaller man yelped, his fingernails lightly digging into my skin nowhere near hard enough to leave any traces of marks.

Before I could process what was happening, the hand-mixer I was attempting to use began to fling chunks of food in every direction imaginable.

I let out a string of inhuman sounding noises and out of panic, I flung the hand-mixer around in a desperate attempt to get it to turn off which unfortunately caused more food to fly. Mr.Sugawara's --Koushi's, as he told me requested I called him-- hands flew out and snatched the mixer from me, hastily pulling the plug out from the wall. A sigh of relief slipped past his lips as he looked up at me. Awkwardly enough, I was already staring at him.

In complete awe.

With my mouth gaping.

I suddenly realized what an absolute fool I had just made of myself. I'd covered him, almost completely, in tomato paste. I glanced at the splotches of red gunk that were hanging from the strands of his smooth grey hair before I buried my face into my hands.

"I'm so sorry. If you want to leave, I understand. You can use my shower before, of course." I mumbled into my hands.

Silence filled the room for what seemed like an eternity to me.

Finally, I heard Koushi begin to walk away.

Embarrassment and regret instantly fell over me. Why do I have to be so incompetent and worthless?

I leaned over on the kitchen counter, resting my forehead against the surface. Static filled my ears and my body went numb as the realization that I had absolutely ruined any chances to exploit m current situation in hoped id have a chance with Koushi because I was too incompetent to even have control over a basic kitchen appliance.

In the midst of my mental grieving, I felt something run across my head, neck, and back.

Assuming that I had heard Koushi walk away, probably out the front door, I realized that the person who was attempting to comfort (or clean me) was Tobio. It would make sense because from all the sound that we had made he probably come to see what all the commotion was about.

"Tobio, go watch T.V. or something. Daddy needs some time alone right now."

Tobio continued to rub my back.

Letting out a sigh and straightening myself out, lifting my head up from the counter.

When I turned to face who I thought was my son, I was met with a tumbleweed of grey hair that was infested with red everywhere and big beautiful brown eyes. The realization hit me like a truck and words began flying out of my mouth before I even had a chance to process what I was really trying to say. I was nothing more than a blubbering mess and Koushi stood in front of me, in a fit of laughter.

"Does Daddy still need some alone time?" Koushi asked playfully, obviously mocking me for confusing him for my son. His words alone sent me into another state of shock but for an obvious different reason than before. I almost had half the mind to think he knew exactly what he was doing by saying that. If things were different like if Koushi wasn't my kid's daycare teacher, for example, I would have almost gone as far as to call the exchange flirting.

Realizing that I probably was acting like a creepy idiot just standing and staring, so I attempted to explain.

" I thought you left...", my words soft and wavering with the overwhelming embarrassment lodged in my throat to blame for their weak execution.

Koushi's face twisted in a dumbfounded look as he looked up at me, tilting his head slightly to the side as if he were a confused puppy after being asked if he wanted to go for a walk. My eyes moved from his eyes and down to his body in an attempt to try and read his body language as I waited for him to reply. Immediately, as my eyes worked their way down,I noticed the towel that I had felt wiping me down was hanging loosely from Koushi's arm.

My eyes followed his hands as he carefully reached his hand up and brought it to my hair, lightly picking chunks of tomato from it.

Finally, "I think you forgot, I work with children. I'm more than used to mess." the pale man explained, quickly flashing me a heartwarming, earth-shattering, smile.

At this point, I was almost convinced that maybe Koushi was actually flirting with me, not just me overcompensating my optimism that was in the back of my mind that one day I would have a chance with him.

Something about the way he touched me felt so intimate. Even though it was light and fast, it still sent shockwaves down my spine. The shock just almost triggered my muscle memory and reacted how I would have had I been touched like that by someone I was in a relationship with. The temptation was hard to resist because it was the first time in a couple of years that I had felt the urge to kiss someone. Or call someone pet names. Or craved affection from someone other than my own child.

The unfamiliar feeling was almost painful, wanting something so bad that I knew I could never have. My irrational thoughts forced an unwanted deep blush to creep its way across my cheeks.

"Well... I still do need to take a shower. So would you possibly mind if I went before you? Then while you take yours I'll clean this mess up, yeah?" Koushi said. As he spoke, he ran his hands over my face in an attempt to get some of the mass of remaining food particles off, obviously not being able to get it all but just enough to function. I fought the urge to step back from his touch from the rear that he'd be able to feel the heat that was radiating from my face on the palm of his hand, but didn't as I knew it would come off as suspicious or rude.

I tried to hold back saying the classic 'we could just save water' line no matter how bad I would love to be able to shower with Koushi. I was no longer a horny college student which is probably the only category of people who actually use that line. Instead, now having a reason to flee from the man's touch, I took a step back causing his hands to slip off my body and back to his sides and began to lead him to the bathroom, saving myself the risk of opening my mouth and saying something that I probably shouldn't.

Koushi, understanding that I was wordlessly leading him to the bathroom, followed behind me as I led him.

After a while of weaving through hallways and climbing stairs, I looked over my shoulder at him I said, " While you get undressed in the bathroom I'll bring you some of my clothes that you can borrow while I wash yours for the time being". To which the boy behind me just sounded in agreement.

Finally, after climbing all the way up the stairs and walked down the hallway, we had finally reached my bedroom. Swiftly, I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a towel from one of my drawers and handed it to the boy. It was obvious that his eyes were wandering like he was searching for something, or taking in new surroundings. He looked incredibly timid and it was driving me wild, making desires from earlier unwillingly resurface.

Knowing fully well how strange and uncomfortable it probably is to be in the bedroom of someone that you met not too long ago, I quickly tried to get the situation moving. Quickly, not even attempting to make eye contact, I motioned to the bathroom door.

Realizing that it was probably just as awkward that I was just wordlessly commanding him around I sheepishly said, "The bathroom is just through that door."

As he went in I followed after him. I made sure to show him how the shower worked because god knows how complicated it is when you try to maneuver someone else's shower. I then told him that I would be back in a second with some fresh clothes, closing the bathroom door behind me as I walked back into my room.

I did everything I could to find the perfect shirt to get Koushi to wear. This was my probably one and only chance to be able to simulate what being in a relationship with Koushi could be, that is if he had even a chance of taking interest in me. Sharing clothes and cooking dinner together. I basically ripped through half my closet before I finally found it.

My old Volleyball team hoodie, it had my name on the back and everything, and a pair of sweatpants that were incredibly too small for me but probably just right for the smaller man.

I was so ecstatic about the outfit that I practically pranced back to the bathroom door, knowing that Koushi couldn't see, and lightly knocked on it.

But when the door opened, I nearly passed out at the sight of Koushi with a towel wrapped tightly around his waist with one hand securing it and the other holding his dirty clothes.

Without thinking I ripped his clothes from his hand and shoved mine into their place rapidly slamming the door as soon as the transaction was done.

Koushi barely had a chance to get the words "Thank you" out before I was already flying out of my room and down the stairs.

I was burning.

My world was burning.

Chapter Text

I desperately tried to figure out how the shower works without the guidance of Daichi. He had just explained to me how to work it but then he gave me the change of clothes and I looked at him and my mind instantly went blank. How would I explain that to him?

'Oh yeah, I know you just showed me how to do this but you're just so beautiful it made me forget how to follow instructions.'

Yeah right.

Not to mention, I would have to go all the way back down the stairs to get him or even worse, call him back up the stairs. I already made it awkward enough just being a quiet fool, I can't go around bothering him every two seconds.

In the end, I just decided to tough it out saving myself the probable embarrassment and swooning.

No matter what I did I could not get the water to come on and I was starting to come to the conclusion that this was in fact not a shower but some kind of alien contraption sent from the devil to frustrate people like me.

Out of irritation, I began flipping all the different handles at once. In the midst of my war against the alien shower, I did something that has finally triggered it to start running.

Ice cold water rained from the showerhead onto my bare back which caused me to let out an involuntary yelp. Not being able to really see or focus from the sudden coldness, I began flipping random shower handles in a desperate attempt to warm up the water.

After about twenty minutes and more frustration than necessary later, I had finished taking my shower, got dressed, and began trotting down the stairs to greet Daichi.

As I reached the bottom of the stairs Daichi was nowhere to be seen. I turned the corner and made my way into the kitchen but still, there was no Daichi around.

I softly called out for him. To my surprise, my call was returned with the light sounds of snoring.

I did my best to follow the sound, which led me into a room that I could only assume to be the living room. First I saw the T.V. showing some type of volleyball game that Tobio had been watching which Daichi and I heard screaming at earlier from the kitchen. I still couldn't see Daichi nor Tobio but I could tell the sound was very clearly coming from that same room. In an attempt to better scan the room for the source of the snoring, I peeked over the couch and spotted the most precious thing imaginable.

Tobio was curled up into a ball on the floor with one of his hands clenched tightly against Daichi's shirt. Daichi was sprawled out on his side, one arching in an imperfect halo on the ground over Tobio's head, the other arm carelessly laid over Tobio's body.

I inwardly let out a squeal, feeling heartache at the sight.

Tobio had always been a very... interesting kid in class. I genuinely believe he has what the kids call 'anger issues' or 'bipolar disorder', so to see him resting so peacefully is so precious. He was like a baby kitten.

Then Daichi.

Daichi.

He looked like a Greek god, even while sleeping! Who gave him the right to look so godly! He looked like one of the characters from Dream Daddy. The sleeves of his button-up were covered in specks of tomato paste and loosely rolled up, letting his toned forearms show, and his hair was messily styled around, somehow still managing to look really, really good.

I quickly tried to snap out of my cuteness trance and squatted down in front of the two angel boys. I pushed Daichi's hair from his forehead and softly called out his name, trying my hardest to only wake up the older man and not Tobio. When I realized my first attempt didn't really work, I put my other hand on Daichi's broad shoulder and gave it a gentle shake. I called his name again, but this time I leaned in closer, my lips were just barely grazing the surface of his ear, I tried to convince myself that it was purely accidental but let's face it.

Daichi let out a sleepy groan and his eyes flashed open for a quick second before he instantly drew back, shutting them again.

I let a sigh slip out from my lips and stand up. I would let him sleep like this and finish dinner myself, but he was filthy from tomato paste and desperately needed a shower.

I repositioned myself so I was now standing directly above Daichi. Leaning over him, I grabbed both of his shoulders and roughly shook him.

Finally, his eyes shot open and he instantly sat up from the floor and gapped at me. For whatever reason, he seemed to have a glazed over look and his tongue was pushed against his bottom lip. He quickly came to what seemed to be his senses because he began to move increasingly frantically.

In the process of his minor meltdown, he tripped me. In an attempt not to fall on Tobio, who was still somehow sleeping next to us, I fell right on Daichi's lap. And Daichi went from a sitting up position to on his back again.

I was too panicked that I might have hurt Daichi when I fell on him to think about our undeniably compromising position.

"Oh my god! Oh my god!" I whisper shouted, "Are you okay?"

I ran my hands all over his head searching for any sign of damage that the man may have gotten from his fall. It sounded like he hit something pretty hard against the floor when he fell back.

He whimpered beneath me when I pressed certain spots on his head and brought his hand to the throbbing spot, his face balled up.

I whispered about a hundred 'sorrys' to him and without thinking I began pecking small kisses all over his forehead like my mom did to me when I was younger.

After a second Daichi tensed up in realization and grabbed my hips, accidentally slipping his hands under my oversized hoodie. He sat up and gently but frantically lifted me up and moved me off him and onto the floor.

He quickly stood up and without facing me even when he made his hasty exit out of the room.

I sat there dumbfounded for a while after he left and I would have kept sitting there, maybe even died of embarrassment there, if it hadn't been for Tobio waking up.

"Hey. buddy. You want to help make dinner" I asked.

Chapter Text

My whole face burned.

My whole body burned.

And all in one my life as I had known it was all crashing down.

I ran up the stairs and to my bedroom as fast as I could, stumbling up a couple of stairs on the way.

There was nothing wrong with what happened down there. Everything was perfect. Koushi was perfect. But if I had let him continue, I don't know if I would be able to hold myself responsible for what happened next. I was really at my breaking point for giving in and allowing my instinct to take control.

The constant imagining and secret desires for affection from the man had been bad as is, but it could have never prepared me for how I would react if something from my dreams had materialized into a real-world scenario. And all from something as little as Koushi so much as straddling my lap and giving me small kisses on my head. The cherry on top being how perfect he looked wearing my clothes.

I closed my bedroom door and softly banged my head on it a couple of times. Remembering what happened downstairs was making me go crazy.

I began to peel the tomato paste covered clothes off my body and made my way to the bathroom. I started the shower, making sure that it was set to cold water in hopes to try to distract my brain from the current situation.

I quickly took a shower, got dressed, and made my way down the stairs. In all honesty, I half expected not to see Koushi when I reached the miraculously cleaner kitchen seeing how I overreacted. But, there he was standing at the stove stirring something in a pot.

Slowly, I walked up behind him, placing my hand on the small of his back so he knew I was behind him. The slightly smaller boy hummed quietly and turned his face toward mine.

"Listen, I'm really sorry about everything tonight. I should have watched the food network instead of having you come all the way out here to see me act insane." I mumbled, hanging my head low, not daring to look at Koushi's face.

Koushi quickly dropped the wooden spoon into the bowl and suddenly turned, now facing my chest.

The slightly smaller boy raises a single hand to my hair and he gives it a soft tug, trying to put on his best attempt at an angry face. My knees almost gave in.

"I was the one who offered to come help and I'm glad I did. Nothing you can say can convince me that you have done anything wrong tonight."

"but-"

Koushi cut in, "I said no. Now, could you please stir this. I have to chop some veggies". Before I could respond, he promptly turned on his heels and skidded off to the counter where the veggies were. As I stirred the pot, I watched the man from the corner of my eye and smiled to myself.

The both of us worked in comfortable silence, minus Koushi's occasional humming and my occasional mumbling of profanities the couple times I made a mistake. Before we knew it, an hour had gone by, and, with the help of various commands Koushi dealt out to me, dinner was just about done. Tobio had made it his job to set dinner in the living room so he could watch volleyball matches while he ate.

Just as we sat down to start eating the phone began to ring, Tobio shot up from his spot on the floor and ran to go answer it. As soon as he put the phone to his ear he started screaming insults and saying things that were hardly real sentences.

Glancing over at Koushi, I explained, "He's talking to Hinata about volleyball."

"I take it that this happens a lot?"He responded with a chuckle.

"Every day. Without fail."

Chapter Text

I sat in silence for a while, staring at my plate.

My stomach howled at me. I desperately wanted to take a bite but my newfound nerves of Daichi's approval of my cooking suddenly stopped me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I glanced at the tan man beside me. He still hadn't taken his first bite.

I placed my hand on the handle of my fork and gripped it so hard that my knuckles began to turn white.

"So," I started, "does everything look ok?"

Daichi looked over at me and a smile instantly glazed over his face and hummed lightly. Dimples began to make themselves present in the center of both of his cheeks, and my heart swooned

"Perfect," He said in one short, sweet breath.

A little shock surged through my body. His tan skin glowed in the faint light of the living room lamp as he reached his hand towards his fork. He stuck his fork in the middle of the contents of the plate and lifted it to his mouth.

Nerves instantly filled me as scenarios of his disapproval began to play in my head.

After a couple of moment silence, Daichi exclaimed "Holy shit,"

"What drugs did you put in this?"

My face twisted in confusion,"Excuse me?".

At this point, Daichi was shoving the food into his mouth like this was his last meal, he could barely take a breath to finish what he was going to say.

Usually, if it were someone else, I would be repulsed.

But it was Daichi. And Daichi was different.

About an hour had gone by, and Daichi, Tobio, and I had all finished our dinners. During the time we were eating, Daichi kept complimenting me on the food and insisted on doing the dishes. At first, I protested, but in the end, he ended up snatching up all the plates and running to the kitchen, leaving me on the couch.

As time went by, Tobio stopped screaming; it began to drizzle, then rain, then the storm -- the loud thunder replacing the void of sound that the boom of Tobio's voice had once occupied.

The faint noise of the T.V. mixed with the storm outside was so calming. Before I knew it, my eyelids began to get heavy.

And when I opened them again, my eyes were met with bright sun streams that we're peering through the blinds of my bedroom window.

I raised my arms above my head and then brought my hands to my face. I rubbed my eyes softly and then let them fall back to the bed, still keeping my eyes closed.

When I heard the faint noise of screaming my eyes shot open instantly and I looked at my surroundings. I knew full well I wasn't in my own house. The walls were filled with unfamiliar pictures, and the bed was much bigger and firmer than my own.

But, I had seen this room before. It was Daichi's.

I sat up and rubbed my hand over my face again, sighing as I tried to recall why I was in Daichi's bed instead of my own. Hoping deep down that this was all a dream

Once I noticed rubbing my eyes wasn't working at waking me up, I finally allowed reality to set in and gave in to letting my eyes travel around the room. For a while, I just sat in the same place contemplating finding a window that was low enough that I wouldn't break anything when I jumped out but later decided against it.

Slowly, I moved my leg's over the side of the bed. In attempts to not let anyone in the house know I was awake, I tiptoed my way into the bathroom.

Looking at the familiar set up of the bathroom, memories of the night before started flooding my memory, and looking in the mirror I could see my cheeks flash rouge. Before my face could heat up anymore I turned on the faucet and threw some water on my face and slicked some through my hair.

My hands made their way to a flat resting position on the slides of the basin. My eyes scaled over the contents of the surface.

A bright yellow post-it note caught my attention.

"For you :)', It read.

I lifted the note and it revealed an obviously brand new toothbrush. Smiling lightly to myself, silently thanking God.

If I was going to have to face Daichi after this, I'm really glad that I won't have to do it with morning breath...

Chapter Text

Dishes were never really my forte.

Honestly, if the pressure of Koushi finding out that I'm a dirty slob didn't exist, I really would have just thrown the plate away. I wasn't really used to using real kitchenware anyways, the daily takeout that I tended to pick up always included disposable products.

That all being said, when Koushi tried to volunteer to take care of the dishes, I just couldn't accept it. I had already put him through more than enough for the night so it was the most I could do to let him relax while I made my best attempt at washing the dishes.

And that's where I found myself now. Standing at the sink, heavily regretting the time that my dishwasher broke and I just thought: 'I don't even wash the dishes; I might as well not even pay to get it fixed'. Even though there weren't that many dishes, to begin with, the fact of the matter was that this could have all been avoided.

I let out a small sigh, mentally deciding that it would probably be for the better if I just stopped worrying about dish problems and just finished the task.

As I continued, since my thoughts had drifted from dishes, they moved onto a topic just a tad more complicated. Obviously, that topic being Koushi.

After everything that happened tonight, I couldn't really tell where we would stand. I could only imagine the conversations that we would have when I go to pick up Tobio in the following days. But, in all honesty, before I had a little playground crush but everything was starting to feel different.

I felt stupid saying it because the cause was doomed before it really even started. There was no way that he would ever be into me. In fact, I know the only reason this all happened was because he's way too nice for his own good.

He was patient.

He was soft and kind.

He was perfect.

And he was going to be the absolute death of me.

When Tobio's mom and I split, I had originally made it a pact with myself that I would never get involved with someone else romantically. Tobio would always be the most important chapter in my life and it was only right that he'd be the one to take up all my time.

I also told myself that, if for any reason there was someone who broke through my barriers, I vowed that they would have to treat my son like he hung the moon. And honestly, I thought it was a little impossible. Not because Tobio was anything short of perfect but because not a lot of people harbored enough love in their heart that could convince me.

Sure, there had been a handful of times where I met someone and thought that maybe they would be different. Each and every single time, I was just let down.

Soon enough it was just me and Tobio against the world and for a long time, it was fine that way.

We survived just fine, me, him, along with Asahi, Yuu, and Shoyou. Those were really the only people we let into our lives.

After Kageyama's mom, I learned that you can't really trust everyone. Kiyoko, while beautiful, had a lot of secrets. The person I thought I knew, I thought I loved, turned out to be a completely different person.

Before I knew it, I felt hot tears running down my face. I hadn't even noticed that I was crying. Quickly, I whipped my face and finished the last of the dishes, not that there was even that many left.

When I did finally finish, I quickly stopped in the bathroom to make sure that I was fully put together before even attempting to face Koushi again.

Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I didn't really recognize myself. Sure, it was me but it didn't feel like me, it didn't look like me.

Honestly, I couldn't say if it was a bad feeling or a good one. I was feeling things that I had kept harbored inside myself for years and in a way it was liberating but it hurt so bad at the same time.

Attempting to put all of that aside, telling myself I'll wait until Koushi leaves to mope, I splashed some cold water on my face. Whatever is going on, I'll find it out and overcome it the best I can, but that will just have to wait.

After looking at myself one more time, I walked out of the bathroom and made my way back to the living room.

On my way there, I couldn't help but notice the soft sound of rain that was coming down from outside. I didn't really notice it before but it was very clear now but I didn't think much of it.

Rounding the final corner, the living room finally made its way into my view. The first thing I saw was Koushi's mass of hair peeking out from the couch.

The room was quiet for the most part except for the T.V. that was still playing reruns of volleyball games and the soft breathing from what I assumed was the boys.

Rounding the couch, I saw one of the cutest things I've seen probably ever.

Koushi and Tobio were leaning against each other sleeping. Tobio had a surprising habit of being a very cuddly sleeper, so he had his face nuzzled into Koushi's side and one of his tiny arms thrown over the man's legs.

As cute as it was, I kind of had to decide how or even if I should wake the boys up. They looked so comfortable but at the same time, Koushi had a home of his own and a life of his own. And no matter how much he tried to deny it, he was probably getting fed up with me.

Just as I made the decision to wake the grey-headed man up, a crash of thunder rang out followed by the sound of hard rain hitting the surface of the house.

I could really say that I was mad because that was a clear lie. I secretly wanted Koushi to stay but I would never tell anyone that.

First, I peeled Tobio from Koushi. As I took him into my arms, he woke up for a hot second and mumbled some nonsensical words before just drifting back to sleep. Even though he couldn't see me, I smiled down at him before carefully taking him upstairs to his room.

As I pulled back the sheets to his bed and began to lay him down, he once again woke up and started talking again. Except for this time, he was fully aware.

A little sleepy but aware.

"Is Mr.Sugawara gonna live with us?" he asked innocently, rubbing his eyes.

I chuckled at him a little, tucking him in tightly before answering.

"No, I don't think so."

"Awh, he makes really good food. And he knows a lot about volleyball.", it was hard to believe that, just a few days prior, the boy wouldn't have even batted an eye if the grey-haired man had died.

I hummed to let him know I was listening but didn't really say anything.

"I really like him, dad. We should keep him.", subconsciously I jokingly mused the 'keep your friends and your enemies closer' saying causing me to let out a real, deep laugh.

"Tobio, he's not a puppy. We can't adopt him."

Lightly, the small boy raised his hand and patted my cheek.

"Consider it, big guy."

And with that, he yawned, smuggled himself into the sheets, and drifted off to sleep.

As I left Tobio's room and headed back downstairs, I thought about what Tobiojust told me.

Knowing my own son, or what I thought I knew, it was hard for him to really come around to people. Tobio really had done a fill 180 from where we were before, now he was asking to keep him like he's a stray cat he stumbled upon.

There had to be a reason behind it but I'm sure it's not anything to worry too much about.

And as once again reached the living room and looked down and the man sleeping on the couch, I still didn't understand.

As I gently picked him up, bridal style, and carried him up the stairs, I still didn't understand.

Honestly, it wasn't until I made my way to my room and got Koushi into my bed that there was something that clicked. Looking down at him, snuggled in my comforter sound asleep, I understood.

And right then and there, my world as I knew it came crashing down

Chapter Text

Peering at myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth, I couldn't help but wonder how I got up to Daichi's room and just completely lost all recollection of how exactly I had actually made it up here. Moving my eyes from my reflection to the water spewing out of the sinks faucet, I shook the sleep from my brain and focused on trying to piece the timeline together. Even after a few minutes of deep thought and mindlessly bursting my teeth, I still couldn't fully recall the events that occurred between dinner and climbing into Daichi's bed.

Desperate to fill in the blanks, I almost had half the mind to let myself pull the conclusion that maybe I had fallen asleep downstairs and Daichi had carried me up here. It was more feasible than the concept of me, still being a sane human being, coming up here myself. No way, I had barely had enough courage to be able to talk to the man on the phone without tripping over my words like a dunce.

Still, I denied it. No matter how realistic it sounded in comparison, there was no way that Daichi could have or would have done something like that for me.

Could he have?

I rinsed the toothbrush, placing it carefully in the holder where Daichi's own toothbrush sat lonely. Taking one last glance at myself, installing noticing the bright red blush that has spread across the entirety of my face, I walked out of the bathroom.

My thoughts, sadly, followed me out. However, as my eyes took in the scenery of Daichi's' room, the tone of my thoughts went from confusion to guilt.

Because at the end of the day --regardless if he had carried me or not-- this his house and he should have gotten to sleep in his own bed. In fact, I shouldn't even be here. I have a whole house of my own; empty and lone, waiting for me.

Knowing feeling guilty wouldn't take away the fact that there was no way to go back in time and fix what I felt like was a mistake, I went over to Daichi's bed. Carefully I began to tuck in the duvet that I disheveled in my sleep. Doing my absolute best to erase any evidence that any human had even been in the bed. Hoping that my own thoughts would smooth away like the creases in Daichi's sheets.

In general, making beds in the morning had always been comforting to me. Really, cleaning, in general, comforted me. I preferred an organized space if I could help it. Even now, as I stood in someone else's room, I had to fight the urge to go on a cleaning spree.

Daichi's room was just as you'd expect out of a man like him. It was obviously clean in his eyes but to me, it was cluttered. My house, on the other hand, almost always looked like there was no one living in it. Granted, that was because it really wasn't.

It was just me. No family, no pets, no boyfriend. I had no one to impress or entertain.

But I understood why Daichi lived like this. It was something that I was pretty familiar with.

He, like my Dad, used to have someone that would take care of things like that for him. For my Dad, it was my Mom and for Daichi, it was Tobio's Mom.

My Dad had gone through a divorce when I was still pretty young. Even though my childish ignorance to relationships, I was just old enough to notice the steady decline in the organization of the house. For example, laundry that once used to be sorted and washed by color turned to be scattered all around the house unwashed. I remember barely being able to find things that were once effortless to find.

Simply put, it was the mess of someone that could only really be described as a single dad. Messy and disorganized but not exactly a disgusting pigsty. Just right in somewhat of a between.

As I finished making the bed, I slightly gave in to my instincts and picked up the clothes that were scattered all throughout the room and put them in the hamper.

In the progression of my mini cleaning spree, I tucked the loose clothes that were hanging outside back into the drawers they were hanging from on the dresser.

I was finally on the last pant leg, but due to the drawer almost to the point of overflowing from all the clothes that had already occupied the space, having to forcefully shove the fabric to fit. This move caused the dresser to shake just a little and some things that were placed on the surface of the dresser to fall over.

Quickly, I stood up to fix the things that toppled over.

Various colognes, deodorants, and a picture frame.

Out of sheer curiosity, when I went to straighten out the picture frame I glanced at the photo that was encased behind the glass.

It was of a woman who had shoulder-length black hair and glasses with a kid that was no other than Tobio sitting in her lap.

The woman was really beautiful.

Even though I knew exactly who she was, how could I not have, I tried really hard to put it in the back of my mind.

Slowly, I put the picture back on the dresser.

Desperately trying to forget that I even saw that, I mentally decided that it was time for me to go downstairs. Even though seeing Daichi was probably the last thing I wanted to do, it would give my mind a distraction.

And when I got downstairs, a distraction was exactly what Daichi was.

He was geared out in full pajama wear and was frantically waving his spatula around by the fire alarm in a desperate attempt to keep it from going off. At the stove, there was a cloud of grey smoke admitting from a pan of mysterious black contents. Whatever it was, it could barely be compared to food.

In just a couple of short periods of standing in shock, my fight or flight reaction kicked in as I ran over to take the initiative to get the situation under control.

"For someone as strong and smart as yourself," I started, glancing at him from the corner of my eye.

"You really suck at cooking." I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

His face went almost completely red and I snickered.

"Like, really bad," I added, emphasizing I was only joking.

He playfully swung the spatula at me, "Alright, I get it!" he exclaimed.

"Like, terrible!" now I was just teasing.

And suddenly he lunged at me, thankfully my reflexes reacted and I jumped back a little. When I saw in response to this, Daichi continued to move towards me, I started fast walking around the kitchen island. Closely behind me, I could hear him yelling for me to take it back. We ran laps around the kitchen island.

At one point, I had tried to fake him out. But much to my demise, he was a little too quick for me and he had me caught. He had me pinned between him and the countertop, his arms acting as guard rails. He was slightly out of breath causing him to breathe a little harder than normal, I could pretty much feel it grazing against my head and forehead. He hunched over a little, getting closer to my ear.

Now I could feel his breath on my exposed neck and ear. I felt incredibly vulnerable for some reason.

I tried to meet his eyes but he was staring at my ear, almost looking past me. I tried to back up little into the counter, desperately trying to create some space between me and the man that was towering over me. When he noticed this, he turned his gaze towards mine but made no attempts to move back. My legs gave out a little, causing me to involuntarily sink my back more into the counter.

Daichi let out a low laugh and leaned in closer to my ear and whispered:

"Take it back or you're gonna regret it."

Oh, holy mother of pearl.

If he kept doing stuff like this I was going to regret way more than saying his cooking was bad. Say things I will probably regret, feel things I will probably regret.

Maybe I already did.

Chapter Text

I knew full well that I was too close for comfort.

How could I have not?

He was visibly trying to make some space between us but I kept moving forward into his personal bubble, throwing all regards to personal space out the window. I couldn't comprehend the sudden compulsion right then and there in the moment but I clearly wanted to just be close.

Truthfully, I wasn't even mad that he said that I couldn't cook. It was undeniably a fact and I couldn't even attempt to prove him wrong even if I wanted to. The unbestowed truth is that I had the desperate desire to just be in existence in the same space as Koushi.

It was as if my overnight realization had finally set in and completely changed my whole attitude towards the man. Just yesterday I was reserved and timid, scared that if I were so much to look at him for too long that he would shatter in front of me.

But now, it all was so different.

Now I was shockingly valiant.

I had my sights set. Granted, I knew that he would probably never want me in that way, but maybe I would be able to feel a sense of relief for him just noticing that I exist.

Knowing that I'm here and thinking about him.

But, even with my newfound boldness, I still couldn't find it in myself to look him in his eyes while moving in closer.

Well, that is until he stumbled a bit and fell a little further back into the counter, then I looked at him.

Catching his gaze quickly, I chuckled lowly before tearing my eyes away from the electricity I felt. Even something as simple as a glance from him was affecting me.

Damn.

I tried my best not to make it that I seemingly wasn't fazed by this exchange Even though indisputably it was obvious, but that was beside the point. Leaning in closer towards his ear, I whispered, "take it back or you're going to regret it." I genuinely tried to make it sound authenticity menacing but it came out more lighthearted and playful.

Slowly, I pulled back from him. Moving my gaze from the side of his head to his big hazel eyes, letting a smirk play against my lips. He, for a brief second, wore a look on his face that looked slightly panicked but quickly eased to be smug.

"Then I'd just be lying to you. Is that what you really want? A lie?" He narrowed his eyes at me playfully, laughing faintly as he did.

The literal sun was between my arms. All this time we thought the sun was a hot ball of glowing gasses when in reality it was just a man named Koushi Sugawara.

And even though he had somewhat insulted me, that all went out the window. I couldn't think. Everything was blocked. And even though I knew that in real-time only a couple of seconds had passed, it felt like it had been years. Before I could comprehend it, my mouth was forming words.

"Maybe it's because my hands are more skilled in other fields."

The statement was more suggestive than I would have preferred to verbalize out loud. However, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't mean for the statement itself to be suggestive.

But thankfully, my dual advances went right over the man's head.

"And what exactly would those skills be exactly?"

I let out a lighthearted chuckle before letting my hands slip away from their position on the counter. Quickly, before Koushi had the chance to react, I brought my hands to the sides of his stomach.

Instantly, I started mercilessly tickling him.

"I warned you!" I exclaimed, ignoring his pleas for me to stop through his sea of laughter.

This went on for a couple of seconds.

I kept demanding that he apologize if he wanted me to stop, to which he refused many times due to pride.

It wasn't until his socks had caused him to slip against the kitchen floor that I had stopped tickling him to catch him.

Out of reaction, I pulled him tightly to my chest making sure that he was safely standing straight before quickly releasing him. I honestly would have rather just held him, but I knew that was probably way out of line.

He was about to open his mouth to speak but the sound of the smoke alarm going off for the second time that morning interrupted him. He snatched the spatula from my hand and ran over to it, waving the smoke away.

When it stopped, he sighed lightly and waltzed over to the stove.

With his back turned to me, he said

"I think that is evidence enough."

He grabbed an egg from the carton and broke it open.

"You really, really suck at cooking." In response to this, I let out a deep laugh, knowing full well I couldn't even argue at this point.

Slowly, I approached him.

I stood at his side, attentively watching him cook.

" Then what do you suggest I do?"

Koushi hummed, "you should probably just stay far, far away from any type of cooking honestly."

A small gasp of mock betrayal slipped past my lips.

"I'm wounded. How do you expect me to feed myself and my darling son?"

For a while, we just stood in silence while Koushi tried to think of a solution to my dire problem. It got to the point where I was almost convinced he either didn't hear me or was just ignoring me.

But then he answered.

"I'll just have to help you," he muttered, so quietly that I almost didn't hear him.

I was a little taken back. After everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours, he was still intent on helping me.

"But you told me to stay away from the stove."

"Yeah, but maybe it will go better under my supervision." He replied, peering at me from the corner of his eye.

As he flipped the egg, he continued talking.

"At least till you learn, maybe."

I stood in absolute shocked silence. Koushi took this silence as disapproval because he instantly tried to take his offer back insisting that it was probably a bad idea and it was fine if I didn't want that.

But I cut him off.

"No, that actually sounds perfect"

Perfect, amazing, flawless, excellent, and every synonym in between.

Chapter Text

"Honestly, I have no idea why I even offered,"I explained, stabbing my fork back in the salad that I had prepared earlier that morning for lunch.

Keji narrowed his eyes at me.

"That was the second time, Koushi."

A soft sigh slipped past my lips and I lightly bit at the inside of my cheeks anxiously. I had been trying to give myself the benefit of the doubt by not thinking about my repeated negligence, but Keji just wanted to pour salt into the wound. Mentally, I reminded myself that Keji, while a good friend, was very blunt and didn't intentionally mean any harm. That being said, I still felt like trash.

Where I sat now, the weekend had come and passed and we were all back to our regularly scheduled program of work. However, I still was reminiscing about my misfortunes. I guess it didn't really help that right when I removed myself from the immediate situation, I came and discussed matters with my co-worker, but it's obvious at this point that I don't make the best decisions.

"Yeah, I know that but he's just so-"

Frantically, I waved my hands around, partially to attempt to find the right words but also trying to talk with my hands.

"He's just so, Daichi."

Keji crossed his arms and rested them on the table.

"That was very descriptive."

The Raveonettes sarcasm causes a small smile to force its way onto my face as I gave him a weak shove but I didn't even try to rephrase the statement. At this point it was hopeless, if I couldn't even explain it to someone else, there was no way that I'd be able to understand it myself.

I began to pack up the reminders of my food.

Recess was almost over and all the kids would probably be on their way in pretty soon. Usually, for recess our gym teacher, Bokuto, would watch the kids while the other teachers got to eat lunch. Hence Keji and I having the time alone to talk about my problems.

Thinking about Bokuto reminded me that I had something to ask Keji.

"While we're on the topic of the men that won't get out of our lives, how are things going with Bokuto?"

A sheer hint of red spread across Keji's face.

"He just won't leave me alone, very persistent."

I smirked at him, "He won't leave you alone? Last I heard from you, you were thinking about giving him your number."

"To get him off my back!" the man exclaimed back, now wearing a look of betrayal.

I lowly snickered at him, he was so very obviously interested in Bokuto but I knew he would never openly admit it. As much as I would have loved to milk the situation, the bell that signified the end of recess rang through the halls.

Keji and I headed back to our rooms, making small conversations here and there.

"Keji, wait up!" A voice yelled from behind.

I didn't even have to turn around to know that it was Bokuto. Keji side-eyed me, silently begging me not to leave him alone. For a millisecond, I considered being a good friend and staying there with him but soon decided that if I had to suffer multiple awkward encounters, Keji should too. It was only fair.

Smiling smugly to myself, I muttered a quiet goodbye to both of the men and walked solemnly to my classroom.

-

The day ended just as it had begun, in absolute toddler chaos. Parents trying to drag their kids out of the room to take them home.

Almost all the kids, excluding Tobio and the ones that were getting collected by their parents, were running all around the classroom doing whatever popped into their minds. Tobio, on the other hand, was posted in the desk nearest to mine, sitting there as if he were guarding me against the absolute pandemonium that was playing out.

It was very apparent that he had taken a whole different attitude towards me since I had been to his house. One mention of volleyball and the kid was practically wrapped around your finger, not that I minded anyways. Most of the kids liked me, so when Tobio had his prejudice towards me a couple of weeks ago, I was understandably nervous. But that was all behind us now.

He continued his self-proclaimed duties up until the point that Shoyou walked up to him and started excitedly yelling in his face about god knows what. I couldn't really hear from all the noise that was emitted from all over, but I'm not really sure that I would even want to. Shoyou was interesting, to say the least.

Gradually, as more and more parents arrived, the noise began to die down. It was to the point that there were really only about five to six kids that remained.

I tried my best to keep my cool but it was getting increasingly difficult as time passed. The more and more people that left meant the more private the room would be when Daichi finally showed up. He did have a habit to show up late and most of the time last. And after I had spent the night at his house, he had gotten very comfortable.

It was hard to describe but he had changed in a way. Not in a bad way but it was a change nonetheless. I wanted to call it flirting but I didn't want to get my hopes up, and I quickly put that thought to the back of my mind.

Most of the kids that had remained slowly left the facility and, just as I feared only Tobio and I remained.

Knowing that Tobio was probably bored at this point, I pulled up a volleyball match on my laptop and handed it to him so he would have something to watch. Usually, people wouldn't want their private electronics in the hands of children but I don't have anything to hide so there was no point.

Tobio and I made small talk and joked around as we waited. Not that the wait was that long because, after a couple of minutes, there was a light knock against the doorframe. I didn't even have to turn around to know who it was because the knock was instantly followed by the oh, so familiar voice that belonged to Daichi.

"There go my two favorite boys!"

Flirting, the thought resurfaced. I once again pushed it back before responding.

"I'm a grown man, so I'm not sure who the other boy is."

Daichi gave me a small, playful smirk. " My favorite boy and my number one, most adored man."

My knees went a little weak and I mentally thanked God that I wasn't standing close enough to Daichi for him to notice.

"If we're your favorites, then why are you so late?" I questioned dismissively counter to Daichi's endearing words.

"It wouldn't feel as special if there were other people around now would it?"

I rolled my eyes at the man, trying not to make it obvious that I was swooning over him as he approached me. Lightly, he grabbed onto the lower part of my forearm, almost grabbing my hand causing me to abruptly face him.

"You're coming over this weekend, right?"

Say no, my brain screamed at me.

You're getting too deep into this, it continued.

"Yeah, of course."

Chapter Text

"He offered to keep on helping me," I said, not even looking up from my keyboard as I typed away at my Wednesday report that I'd been working on.

Asahi let out a bewildered gasp.

"Even though you got him filthy, harbored him over-night against his will, almost gave him bronchitis from the smoke off your terrible cooking, and preyed on him like he was a piece of fresh meat?"

The statement was enough to tear my eyes away from my keyboard to stare evilly at the long-haired man. Asahi let out a small chuckle which made me involuntarily soften my glare, I couldn't stay serious around him for too long. He was a gentle giant and in all honesty, he was asking the questions that I was asking myself.

But as I moved my eyes away from Asahi, they momentarily traveled down to his desk. Instantly, I took notice of the array of photographs that were spread out all around it. The cubicle walls, the surface of the desk itself, all of it consisted of mosaic type memories.

My eyes scanned over Asahi's high school pictures and Shoyou's crayon pictures but gravitated more towards his pictures of him and Yuu.

I would never admit it to either of the men but I was extremely envious. Obviously not because I ever have had or ever will have a thing for either one of them but more because they had something that I have never had.

It was something that really went beyond the luxury of being defined using the English language, solely because it wants something that could even really be explained in general.

It was complex.

It was a dance between two people and even though I had been friends with both of them before their relationship even started, I was never able to pick up the choreography.

For Asahi, it was all jokes. He didn't know how it felt to go home to a house that held nothing but the memory of what could have been because there wasn't 'could have' in his vocabulary. For him, everything just was.

In the corner of my eye, I could see Asahi's mouth moving, but it was all static.

I had never necessarily thought about any of this before. Asahi's cubical had been the same for years, with the exceptional additions here and there. But now, after all this time of not having someone of romantic interest in my life, these were the things that crossed my mind.

Constantly reminding myself that I always tried to reach for things that were just too far out of my grasp.

Tobio's mom.

Koushi.

God, I should have never got involved with him. Everything would have gone so much more normal, better, in my life if I had just left the crush I had alone.

But instead, I had to push it.

I had to-

My thoughts were, thankfully, cut off by an abrupt vibration against my thigh. I swiftly pulled out my phone and read the message displayed on my home screen.

Koushi

'So, I was thinking of stopping by the supermarket after work to pick up stuff for dinner Friday and Saturday, what were you thinking meal wise?'

I read over the message and then read over it again. 'Friday and Saturday'? We had only talked about dinner for one day.

My thumbs hesitantly hovered over the keyboard but before I could type anything out he sent another message.

Koushi

'Also, I was thinking that I could just spend the night again maybe? Then I could also help out with breakfast since you obviously need help in that area too. If you don't want me too that's fine, just let me know.'

Maybe, just maybe, things might be different for me. Before responding, I glanced back over at Asahi.

" Do you think Tobio could spend the night at your house on Friday?"

-

The rest of the week ran smoothly.

I suddenly flirted with Koushi every chance that I got. Sliding little things in while I was picking Tobio up and when we were texting. But now, Friday had finally arrived.

I picked up Tobio as usual and then parted ways to let Koushi go to his house to pack an overnight bag. I hadn't yet told him that Tobio would be spending the night at Shoyou's, just for the sheer fact that I didn't want to come off as a creep. I didn't want him to think that I was intentionally trying to have private time with him even though that was exactly what I was getting at.

Tobio had packed his bag the day that I told him and had it waiting by the door, even though he denied multiple times that he was excited.

And when the doorbell rang, he instantly shot up from his spot on the floor and ran over to the front door. I could hear his disappointed groan from the kitchen followed by an angelic chuckle.

"I'm wounded, Tobio. Am I not who you expected to see?"

Tobio let out a small, dramatic sigh and started walking towards the kitchen.

"Sorry, I'm happy to see you, but I was waiting for Shoyou." The small boy explained, melancholy present in his voice and he plopped back on the floor.

Koushi just continued chuckling at Tobio as he hauled the groceries he got into the kitchen, setting them on the counter and putting his overnight bag on the ground.

I watched him as he rolled up the sleeves on his jumper and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. I leaned my back between one of the inner corners of the counter, mentally swooning. This was my third time seeing Koushi out of standard work clothes and it was my new religion. He was so cute. It felt odd to think that and not try to take it back.

As he finished washing, he turned to me and flicked the remaining water from his hands onto me.

"Maybe you should stop staring and start getting to work," he said smugly.

I mocked a military salute and exclaimed: "Yes, captain!" And with that, both of us got cooking, joking around as we did.

It wasn't long into it though that there was another knock at the door.

Tobio did just as he did when Koushi had arrived and sprinted to the door. I heard him excitedly swing open the door and excitedly start to call Shoyou's name, but his voice slowly drifted off right in the middle of saying it.

"Mom?" Tobio's questioning voice echoed.

Chapter Text

To say I was shocked was honestly an understatement. Really, I didn't even know if 'shocked' was even the right word to describe how I felt if there was even any real describable feeling.

Daichi's initial visible shock had died down. Clearly, he had no idea that she was just going to show up like that but he was still clearly uneasy.

After Tobio had unknowingly opened the door for her, she had boldly invited herself in. She attempted a conversation with Tobio but he was just as flabbergasted as Daichi and I were.

And that's how we got where we were now. Her, sternly standing in front of him and him just nervously fiddling with his fingers and staying notably quiet.

As bad as it might have sounded, I was sort of at ease knowing that Daichi was uncomfortable rather than happy or giddy. Throughout my time as a daycare teacher, I had learned some of the true secret intentions that some single parents had. Their slimy tactics of using their child as some kind of third-party wingman to get back with their old partner, but Daichi didn't seem to have those same intentions.

"So, I was wondering if I could take him for the weekend?", straight to the point.

Daichi stopped fiddling with his hands and brought them to his face, lightly pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and his index finger as he let out a small sigh.

"And you've never heard of, I don't know, texting? You know, before just showing up on someone's doorstep."

His words were laced with venom, probably a little more than he had intended. But it didn't seem to really phase her, as she continued to calmly give Daichi a blank stare, almost as if she didn't even notice at all.

In fact, she smiled curtly.

"You'll live. I didn't expect you to have company."

She smiled again but this time she had it directed towards me. I attempted to smile back, simply just out of my instincts for mutual respect but the smile did not reach my eyes.

She took a breath before getting ready to talk again but Daichi cut her off. Once again attempting to explain to her that she was in the wrong but she once again dismissed Daichi completely, suddenly taking an odd amount of interest in me.

Probably just using me as a distraction tactic to defuse Daichi's hostility.

"Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Kiyoko, and you are?"

I hesitated before quietly murmuring my name to her, not really wanting to make a conversation with her. But against my luck, she continued to make small talk while Daichi protectively shuffled towards me.

"Sorry for intruding! It looks like you guys were starting dinner, I feel kind of bad now." she chuckled lightly, tucking the loose hairs that had fallen from the bun holding up her hair behind her ears.

I had half the mind to break and offered her to stay and eat with us but I digressed before the thought had the time to materialize into words and I half-heartedly hoped that Daichi couldn't either.

Kiyoko had obviously noticed the tension in the room, I could see it on her face that she was trying her best to make all the right moves.

"You know, I could take Tobio for the weekend and you guys could have a date night," she suggested.

This took me by surprise.

She thought that Daichi and I were a thing. It was already kind of suspect that we were having dinner together alone and I guess it didn't really help that Daichi was standing so close to me to the point that we were basically breathing the same air but the fact she pointed it out. Daichi almost guarded me from the woman.

Daichi and I, of course, we're not dating but I could kind of see how she might have drawn that conclusion. Even though there weren't many visual clues, I feel like there was strong energy that Daichi and I were probably giving off. Or maybe that only I was giving off, seeing as I was obviously infatuated with Daichi and her presence was visibly off-putting to me.

Even though I secretly had hopes that one day a relationship might spark between the two of us, for Daichi's sake I don't want Kiyoko to get the wrong idea. I could only imagine how uncomfortable Daichi probably was, so I quickly opened my mouth to correct her but Daichi cut in.

His voice was a bit gruff, "That's very considerate but Tobio had plans to spend the night at Asahi and Yuu's."

Another wave of shock coursed through me. Daichi didn't even attempt to deny her referring to us as a couple, I could only have assumed it's because he was more focused on her so I put it to the back of my mind.

The slim, black-haired woman in front of us face twisted, looking a bit pained.

"Knowing the two of them, I'm sure they'll understand."

Daichi stepped a little bit closer, the front of his body lightly pressing against my side. He lowly made an annoyed sound and angrily ran his hand against his face. I turned my head slightly and peered at him through my eyelashes briefly.

He was wearing an expression that I couldn't ever really say that I've seen from him. It looked like a mixture of different emotions; anger, disappointment, disgust.

"Kiyoko," he started, his voice booming but low, " you can't just show up when you decide that you suddenly have time for Tobio. Show up out of the blue when it's convenient for you."

Shocked, I studied the expression that was painted on her face. I felt bad for her, to say the least, and I couldn't help but hope that Daichi would be done and cut her some slack.

But, sadly he went on.

"Tobio has plans and a life of his own. A life that you decided that you didn't really want to be a part of. So, I'm sorry that you came all this way, un-invited may I add, but-"

I cut him off.

Briskly, I turned my body to face him and I grabbed his arm firmly, giving him a warning look with my eyes, he gave me a dumbfounded one in return.

"That's enough," I said sharply before dropping Daichi's arm.

An embarrassed blush spread across his face and his shoulders slouched in shame.

"Now," I said, softening my voice and letting vexation face, "I think Tobio should spend the weekend with his mother. I'm positive Shoyou will understand, don't you think?"

The dejected man slowly looked up to meet my eyes, let out a small sigh, and nodded before tearing his eyes away again.

When I turned to look at Kiyoko again, she had pools of tears threatening to spill from her eyes but she quickly wiped them away before they actually did. She looked like she had so much that she wanted to say but the words refused to come out, so I saved her the effort.

"Daichi, you go get Tobio and let him know about the change of plans while I help Miss Kiyoko take Tobio's bag out to her car."

And with that Daichi mopily moved to leave the room and Kiyoko and I went to the entryway where Tobio's bag that was originally meant for Shoyou's house was there waiting. She remained quiet as we took the luggage outside.

When we reached the car, I couldn't help but notice a blonde-haired woman sitting in the passenger seat but I chose not to comment on it, knowing fully well that it wasn't my place. I had already overstepped enough today. I instead moved my focus to place the suitcase into the trunk and carefully shut it when I finally got it in.

I briefly looked to Kiyoko and gave her a small smile before turning to go back into the house. That is until she grabbed me by the wrist before quickly letting it go.

"Listen, I just wanted to say thank you."

Her eyes met mine and I responded.

"No, you don't have to thank me."

She let out a pained sigh. "But, I do. Daichi was right, everything that he said was exactly right." Tears pooling in her eyes again. Wiping them away she continued, "But I'm trying to change that." Her voice was strained. She glanced over her shoulder to the woman in the car and then turned to me again.

"Thank you, Koushi," she whispered. This time, I stayed silent.

Instead, I smiled at her one last time, but this time it was genuine and heartfelt before going to walk back inside. As soon as I got inside, I met with Tobio and Daichi. The two boys were deep in conversation. Daichi seemed to be going over some ground rules with Tobio, telling him to be good and respectful and what not.

It wasn't long before they finished up and Tobio hugged his dad before muttering a quick 'I love you'. And just before he went to go out the door, he turned to me and opened his arms towards me.

I was a little shocked but it was clear that he was expecting a hug. I bent over and embraced him in a short hug before muttering for him to be good. And with that, he was out the door.

Daichi and I stood quietly in the open door frame, watching as Tobio opened the door, waved goodbye one last time, and drove off. As soon as the car was just out of sight, Daichi slowly closed the door and I turned to him.

"Listen, I think I should go home now."

Chapter Text

The realization of the true situation hit me like a freight train and right before my eyes everything was coming undone in imperfect concession.

Everything was processed through my brain all at once, like just a couple minutes earlier my brain had completely shut down but now it was back and running, slowing informing me of all the horrible mistakes I made. Mistakes that went beyond yelling at my ex-wife but rather relaying the man who was there to witness it and my son who stood between it.

Yelling at Kiyoko was the least of my problems. In fact, I felt no pity for her whatsoever because everything that I said was absolutely true. And had it not been for Koushi, I probably wouldn't have let her even take Tobio and I would have been able to sleep just fine knowing I didn't.

She had countless opportunities to call, text, fucking email but she chooses to do none of those things which not only violates the court ruling but isn't morally fair to Tobio or myself.

But it was beyond wasting my breath about now.

Now I had to deal with the fact that Koushi dismissed me so he could escort her away from my harsh words so she could leave with my son.

Now it was my turn to feel guilty and at fault.

My thumbs slightly shook as I tried to type out Asahi's number to let him know not to waste his time coming. While on the phone, I tried to be as vague as possible telling Asahi that I would tell him all the details some other time to which he hesitantly complied to. Asahi was never one to pry. I knew I had to have sounded like a wreck over the phone but he didn't mention anything about it.

Quickly, I did my best to regain my composure knowing that next I would have to face Tobio and I couldn't let him know that I was upset.

Dragging myself up the stairs to the boys' room which he ran up to a little while after his mother stepped foot inside. Mentally, I hoped that he didn't hear me yelling from up here but if he did I guess it wouldn't be that bad.

Tobio was a bright boy so I wasn't worried about it. He would probably act more mature about the situation than I was.

I let my knuckles rise up to the white painted wood that closed off Tobio's world from mine and softly knocked three times. The knocks were not answered but the door swung open revealing the small boy.

A small smile that didn't quite seem quite too genuine appeared on his face as he looked up at me.

"Is Shoyou here now?" he questioned, his small voice filled with empty hope.

Now it was my turn to flash a fake smile. It was obvious that he knew what exactly was going on but he nor I had the desire to say it out loud.

Sighing, I let the artificial smile slip off my face. Tobio deserved better than that, he deserved the absolute truth. Hesitantly, I kneeled down so that I was face to face with the small boy in front of me and I placed my hands lightly on his shoulders.

I had what I wanted to say encased in my mind but it kept rephrasing itself in my mind. Knowing that it wouldn't take Koushi and Kiyoko that long to get the car together, I decided it'd be for the better for all of us if I put matters over mind.

"Actually buddy," pause, breathe in. "You're mom wants you to spend a couple of days with her." breathe out.

As the words came out of my mouth, I felt my eyes glue themselves to Tobio's face attempting to gauge his reaction. But, to my avail, there wasn't much to be reported. His face was blank.

He didn't look disappointed or sad or, god forbid, excited. The only way I could really describe the look to be was, thoughtful as if he was pondering the situation. His fingers nervously became entangled with each other and he rocked back and forth from the heels of his feet to the pads.

But just before I took his silence as a form of non-verbal compliance, he spoke up.

His voice was quiet, almost to the point where I couldn't hear him which was unusual for the boy but it was something.

"That's alright, I guess."

The words didn't have much emotion behind it.

"Tobio," I shook him lightly in an attempt to make sure his attention was on me," you know all you have to say it the word and I'll send her away and you can go over to Shoyou's"

He looked at me but didn't yet dare to speak.

"I know this is harder for you than me or her combined but you have to talk to me and let me know what you want and I'll support in whatever you want to do," I said, my voice growing uncontrollably desperate.

I needed him to know that he had the option. Not the option to pick sides or do what he thinks I would want him to do. At the end of the day, none of this was about me and it never was. From the day that Tobio was born, it wasn't about me and Kiyoko or Kiyoko. It was solely Tobio.

My feelings didn't matter. I would get my heart broken a thousand times over by Kiyoko or anyone else just to ensure that Tobio was here and happy and content. Loosening the grip on Tobio's shoulders I slowly started to stand back up, assuming that Tobio seemingly didn't have much to say on the matter.

I slowly started to inch my way from the boy, quickly telling him that his things were being packed into his mother's car before turning my back to him and proceeding to walk away. Behind me, as I walked away, I could hear his light footsteps as he followed me down the corridor.

The steps started at a walking tempo but gradually sped up to a jog and suddenly I felt a soft tug against my shirt.

The voice came before I was able to make out his face.

"I don't want to go," thank god, "but I will."

I opened my mouth to respond but he started talking again.

"Mr.Sugawara always says to give people a chance before judging them."

Mr.Sugawara, of course. A smile made its way onto my face but this time it was genuine. Without saying anything, I swooped down and collected the boy's small body in my arms giving him as big a hug as I could muster. He groaned in protest but the giggles that slipped through right after led me to believe that he was enjoying it.

But I knew we couldn't sit here and hug forever, even if I kind of wish we could. But I wouldn't say that out loud to him in fear of emotionally embarrassing both him and myself.

Hesitantly, I released him and briefly smiled down at him before mumbling a quick 'common. With that, the two of us made our way down the stairs and to the front door.

Through the windows next to the door, I could see the obvious silhouette of the grey-headed man making its way back to come into the house, leaving Kiyoko back at the car. Knowing just what was coming next, I decided it would be in my best interest to kneel down to Tobio and say my final goodbye before I sent him away for the weekend.

I quickly told him how proud I was of him and him how amazing he was. I tried to fit in just about everything I have ever said or wanted to say to him, acting almost as I'd never see him again.

As the door slowly came open, I refrained from saying too much more and settled on giving him a final hug, whispering another 'I love you' to him, standing right after not making eye contact with Koushi.

I stuffed my hands in my pockets as I watched Tobio shyly make his way over to the grey-haired man and embrace him in a short-lived hug before making his way outside.

Unintentionally silent, the two of us watched through the window. The atmosphere stayed continually silent until Kiyoko's car was just out of sight. Just as I got prepared to apologize profusely for, well, everything he opened his mouth.

With all the scary sad things that had happened today, Koushi's words came in a solid second.

Because he said, with what I could only assume to be disappointment.

"Listen," is how it started.

"I think I should go home now." is how it finished.

And it absolutely broke me.

Chapter Text

Any words that I could have said, at this point, we're beyond me. The look on his face, without him even physically touching me, reached past my skin and stole the breath from my lungs. Shockingly enough, he looked sad.

Maybe the better word was hurt.

Wounded.

His mouth moved, and he thoughtfully attempted to push words out to fill the silence but nothing came out. He just stood, solemnly in his dejected silence not daring to make any movements. But I guess in this moment, there wasn't really anything that could be said.

In the hindsight, there was truly no reason for me to really stay. Tobio was gone and Daichi had proven to be going through enough and I don't think that I could provide as a safety blanket for him.

After all, what did I mean to him?

Other than to act as a teacher of a tutor, there was nothing really going on between us. No matter how much I wished there would be a day in the future that a relationship flourish, but I knew that would ever be a possibility.

But watching him get so worked up earlier in Tobio's defense just tore me apart. To see one person care for another so immensely was something that I couldn't fathom. Daichi's whole world was built into the small body of a boy and while he never really verbalized that to me, I could see it in his eyes. I could hear it in his voice.

And when he was screaming his soul out to Kiyoko, I realized something.

No matter the circumstance, be it negative or positive, Kiyoko and Daichi will always have a connection. They have a history.

They will always have a force that is constantly drawing each other together.

That being the case, they can never fully move on from each other. In the eyes of a stranger, they are labeled as 'family', and that was something that I could never be with Daichi. He was something that would always be just out of my reach. In a reality that I could only view from behind a glass window.

And as I walked back into the house after leaving Kiyoko, I came to the realization that I could no longer be a spectator. The more I looked on, the more attached I got. And even though at first I didn't notice it off the bat, I was starting to fall in love with the man.

But, emotionally, I couldn't afford to fall so I decided maybe it would be for the better for both of us if I just stayed away. Or at least as far away as I could be realistically, his son was enrolled in the daycare I was employed at.

I looked past Daichi into the blank space, desperately trying to hold onto it and wedge it in between us. The tenseness in the room was almost suffocating me and the silence was steadily being replaced with static in my brain.

Slowly, almost knowing that Daichi wasn't planning on saying anything to me, I began to inch my way towards the door. At this point, I didn't care about the overnight clothes that were waiting to be changed into that I left sitting in the living room or the half-cut vegetables sitting neglected on the kitchen counter. All I wanted was space. Pushing all those things to the back of my mind, I turned my body fully so that I wasn't facing him knowing that my emotions were written all over my face.

But just as my hand had turned the doorknob, the afternoon air threatening to spill through the door, something stopped me.

Well, someone. Daichi to be exact.

The skin on his hand sliding against mine as he tightened his grip around my wrist, not hard enough to hurt but it was enough to make me stop in my tracks.

Still, I didn't dare to face him, possibilities of what he was going to say flying through my brain, all materializing with different outcomes. But as his mouth opened and his voice fell past his lips, quiet and breaking, the thoughts disappeared.

"Koushi,"

He paused and the sound of him carefully inching towards me, his other hand reaching for my free hand. Lightly he grabbed at it, pulling me to face him. I allowed my body to turn in the directions of his beckon but kept my gaze off of him, making it a point to keep my head turned towards the door.

The sound of Daichi shakily inhaling a deep breath filled my ears.

Softly he let some of the air pass through his nose and it just barely met the skin of my neck causing small goosebumps to arrive on the stretch of skin.

The sudden intimacy of the situation distracted me from the context of the whole situation, small shocks of electricity, and waves of chills shot through the entirety of my body.

"Please, Koushi."

He opened his mouth again, this time talking slightly louder than before but gradually returning to its softer state almost as if he hadn't been able to gauge the power he had behind his words. But I stood still, knowing full well what would happen if I gave in and looked at him.

"Could you look at me or something?" his voice finally gaining a steady bass behind it.

Don't, it will all be over, I subconsciously reminded myself.

Reluctantly, his grip on both of my arms loosened finally he let them go. Causing them to fall limp by my sides. Everything in me screamed for me to stay. To tell Daichi everything from A to Z, just in a minor attempt to fix this whole mess that I've created but my body refused to comply.

Wordlessly, I let them fall to my side with a heavy thud. I didn't make any kind of sudden movements for the door, I just stood there silently. Shaking off all the impulses screaming at me to do the opposite of what I was doing, begging me to turn around and stop the mess that I've created.

I could feel Daichi's stature moving closer to me, then past me. I watched as his large hands stretched over the doorknob twisting it open a little harder than necessary and he leaned even more forward to push the door open, his face inches away from mine.

He pulled back just slightly before pausing, his mouth just past my ear.

"I understand." He said.

A hot wet drop fell on my shoulder, sinking into the fabric of my shirt followed by another and then another.

Shocked, I turned to look at him but he had already pulled his face away and had it hidden away by the palm of his hand.

Finally, I realized the fault in my ways and I broke.

"Go!" he emptily commanded, no real candor behind his words.

I reached my hand out but as soon as the palm of my hand reached the warmth of his skin, he pulled away like I was a burner on a stove that had been left on. He attempted to mumble out more orders which turned to begs which turned into incoherent sobs. And before I knew it, tears were pouring down my face and my feet were moving before my mind had the time to process what I was doing.

My arms stretched out and I fell into the surface of Daichi's back, my face collided with the fabric of his shirt. The tears from my face sinking into the cloth, soaking small circles into it but I refused to pull away.

I desperately grabbed at his shirt, trying to force him to face me. Trying to sill a spew of sorries and 'I didn't mean its'.

Daichi frantically faced me, his eyes scanned over my face confused.

His face twisted from confused to something else, something I couldn't really make out.

His hand moved to my forearm and he lightly moved his thumb on the surface of my skin in small circles comfortingly but I was too scared to move. Too scared that if I let go for even a second, he might vanish into thin air.

"Hey," he said quietly, his own hurt almost untraceable now. His hands moved from my arms to my neck to my chin and tilted my head up to look at him.

"Hey," he said again, quieter this time in an attempt to soothe me.

Slowly, he let his forehead fall to meet mine, "You're okay."

Then, "It's okay."

His words were so silent, I almost didn't hear them but I watched his lips. But the words became meaningless and before I knew it, I had his lips on mine.

Chapter Text

The warmth of his lips against mine sparked electricity that started just in the apples of my cheeks but quickly spread to the rest of my body within seconds.

At first, my mind couldn't comprehend what exactly was happening. Koushi had momentarily tried to pull away, probably due to the fact that I was standing, starstruck, not kissing back.

Not wanting to waste the moment, I quickly snapped out of my trance and I gently pulled the man back in. I allowed my hands to aimlessly spread around the different maps of Koushi's exposed skin until they found a spot, comfortably resting at the nape of his neck.

At first, I took it upon myself to keep the kiss chase, since I knew Koushi probably didn't mean anything by it. But, as time went on, I couldn't help but feel myself slipping into the moment, leaning into his touch and hungrily moving my lips on his.

We kissed and kissed. I was savoring every moment of it. I could feel my lungs starting to tighten from lack of air but I didn't give the thought of breaking away the time of day. Slowly and lightly, I walked forward and pushed Koushi lightly so that his back was pressed against the wall. My hands slipped down from his neck to his shoulders, then down his chest and sides before finally resting on his hips. Subconsciously, I pulled his body towards mine in a desperate attempt to close the small amount of space that occupied causing him to cross his arms securely behind my head and let out a small gasp, momentarily breaking the kiss.

Koushi turned his face away from me, an embarrassed sheet of red spreading across his face. I stared at his lips as they frantically gasped for the air that his lungs had been denied for the entirety of the kiss. I couldn't help but let a dorky smile spread across my face, stretching from ear to ear.

Koushi mumbled some incoherent words, my ears were practically buzzing to the song of voice even though I had absolutely no idea what he was saying. He stuttered and stammered before letting out a strangled laugh and lightly turning his head, resting it on my shoulder. For a while, we just stood there like that. Neither of us dared to break the silence. Even though I knew that the position we were standing in was probably uncomfortable for Koushi, I didn't dare loosen my grip in fear that he would disappear into thin air if I did.

It all felt like a dream. For a second, I was convinced that it just might really be one until Koushi loosened his arms around my neck and pressed his face into the surface of my shirt and mumbled two words into the fabric.

"I'm sorry,"

The vibration from the words vibrated against my skin. For a second, I thought about letting him go and ending it all. I thought about calmly telling him it was ok and that he could go home if he wanted. But when he raised his face to look at me, for the first time since this all happened, I realized that I couldn't. I do myself the disservice of beating around the bush for any longer.

Although there were a lot of things that I wanted to say and confess, I decided to keep it short.

"Please don't say that."

Koushi's face twisted into confusion.

His eyes met mine, and usually, I would have looked away but I couldn't.

"Daichi, I really am. I know I crossed the line bu-"

Before he had the chance to finish and I had the chance to stop myself, my lips were on his again. Koushi, much to my surprise, kissed back instantly. His grip tightening up again around my neck, his fingers gingerly tangling themselves in my hair. Somehow this kiss was different from the other. It seemed as both of us had come to a similar realization and let go of the precautions we were carrying up until now. I would maybe even dared to say that Koushi seemed to enjoy it, maybe even wanted it just as much as I did.

The two of us sank into each other, letting the dance of our lips to speak the words that had gone unspoken for so long. But before long, the strain in my lungs had become too strong causing me to have to break away.

Koushi dropped back onto the balls of his feet since he had been standing on his tippy toes for the majority of the kiss, and I leaned over and rested my forehead onto his.

"Can I explain?" I questioned feebly, referring to my episode I had just thirty minutes prior without calling it by name.

Koushi tilted his head back slightly, attempting to get a better look at my face. He took his bottom lip in between his teeth and shortly glanced around the corridor thoughtful before nodding.

I took one final look at the man's now swollen lips one more time, desperately trying not to let myself slip in the temptation of kissing him again before dropping my hands off his body and stepping back. My body shuttered as his arms slipped from around my neck and his hands slowly ran down the surface of my chest before finally falling back to his side. I took another step back and watched as his back fell lightly onto the wall before turning away from him.

Slowly I made my way towards the stairs. My mind was trying to piece the story together in preparation for the moment where I would finally have to relive it. For years I've tried to put it all behind me. The wound had finally scabbed over and healed but now I was voluntarily reopening it and spilling my heart out.

Every step I climbed just heightened the anxieties that were pulling at my heart. I did everything that I could to push them aside but it wasn't until we reached the top of the stairs and were facing the exterior of my door that they were finally muted.

My hand hovered over the doorknob and the hard drumming of my heart mellowed to a steady beat.

I was ready.

It was time for me to finally come to terms with it all instead of pushing it all to the side and forgetting about it.

Steadily, I made my way to the bed. I slowly sat down on it, looking down at the floor between my legs and then at Koushi.

He was standing in the frame of the door, watching me with intent eyes. Lightly, I patted the empty space on the bed next to me, wordlessly beckoning for him to sit next to me. He complied and paced his way over to the bed and fell back onto the surface of it.

The bed dipped as he sat and for a while, we sat in a short silence.

I let out a short sigh before opening my mouth to speak.

"Kiyoko and I met in high school," I started, not daring to look up at Koushi.

"We started out as friends and then from there, things just took off. She and I did remotely everything together. All of my high school years were basically devoted to her. We were so in love it was almost sickening."

My hands became entangled with each other and I let out another short sigh at the memories.

"So naturally, as soon as we got out of high school, I got up the courage to propose. For months I worked my ass off to save up the money to get that ring, but that's beside the point. So she said yes and a couple of months later we got married. Thinking about it now, it was all so stupid but I was young and I didn't know any better."

I chuckled quietly at my own stupidity.

"But, somehow against all odds, everything was seemingly perfect. Or at least I thought so. We never really fought or even bantered so I thought things were going well. But, it wasn't until Tobio was born that things changed. She'd spend more and more time out with her friends and that led to us finally having our first fight. Which led to constant fighting. One time it got to the point that she packed a suitcase and told me she was going to her parents for a while, which wasn't true but I, of course, didn't know. For a while, I thought that she might have had postpartum depression. I would spend hours researching trying to find out some way that I could help. About a week or so after she had left, she finally came back but she was like a whole different person. At first, I tried to reason with her and understand but nothing was working."

Slowly, I leaned over and rested my elbow on my knees resting my forehead on my hands. Koushi gingerly placed his hand on my back and lightly rubbed it comfortingly.

"I begged her to tell me what was wrong. I told her that whatever it was, we could work through it. At first, she ignored it all but it wasn't long before she snapped. She told me that she couldn't do it anymore, that she couldn't be with me anymore. At first, I blamed myself. I hated myself for not doing something sooner but right before she left she explained it to me. She explained that it wasn't me. It wasn't me and it wasn't Tobio. She couldn't love me anymore because she was a lesbian and she was in love with someone else."

Koushi's hand stopped, "Daichi, you don't have to,"

I shook my head.

"Her name was Yachi, she told me. She apologized about a hundred times but they were just empty words. In about a couple of weeks, every trace of Kiyoko was gone. All her thing, all traces of her gone. At first, it was hard but Tobio made things easier. He was too young to understand what was going on. After a while, Kiyoko and I cut all our ties. The only time I ever saw her was in court. She didn't even bring the divorce papers to me in person, she just mailed them to me. She never even came to visit Tobio."

I picked up my head from my hands and Koushi's hand slipped from my back solemnly.

"That was it. All those years, wasted. Empty memories. I swore to myself that I would never be involved with a person in that way ever again, I would never love another person ever again."

"Daichi, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"It's fine, you didn't do it. You weren't there." I turned my head to look at him. His eyes were peering back into mine.

"But maybe if you were, this could have all been avoided."

Koushi's face twisted into confusion but he didn't say anything.

"Koushi," I paused, trying to build up the confidence to let the words move past my lips.

"I think I'm in love with you."

Chapter Text

I stared into the empty space that occupied the room. The words were flying around my brain settling in different formats but not fully registering. I could feel my heart racing in my chest, almost trying to leap out through my skin and onto the carpet.

Just moments prior to him confessing to me, he said he had promised himself that he would never love again, so it had to be a joke. Everything that he had gone through and everything I had just put him through. I just couldn't believe it. Assuming that it was a joke, I let out a light-hearted laugh.

"Way to lighten the mood, Daichi," I mumbled passively. My heart tightened in my chest as the words pushed past my lips. I could still feel the warmth from the kiss we had shared on the surface of my lips, they were practically tingling.

I felt the bed slightly shake as the man next to me turned his head to look in my direction. I watched him out of the corner of my eye but didn't dare to look at him. Even though I wouldn't admit it, knowing that it was all just a joke to him, I was hurt.

It had to have been embarrassingly obvious that I was actually interested in him. I had been throwing myself at him for weeks. My entire life basically revolved around the man but now I knew that he wouldn't even look at me in that way. Or rather he couldn't.

Not that I could blame him though. What happened to him in the past was terrible, but that didn't really stop me from hurting after being told the truth.

Silence filled the empty air for what felt like an eternity before he spoke.

"You're joking right?" he questioned.

I could feel my voice getting weaker in my throat as I began to form the words in my throat. Deciding it'd be for the better if I didn't say anything, I sat quietly. I didn't want to risk exposing myself any further or risking coming off as selfish. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Daichi shifting closer to me.

"Koushi," his voice rang out, sounding almost demanding. Almost as if he was pleading for me to answer.

"Will you answer me?"

Shortly, I smiled sadly and ran my hand over my face staying silent.

I waited for Daichi to laugh or congratulate me for catching on, but his voice never transpired. Next to me, however, the bed dipped and Daichi had risen from his spot.

Confused, I raised my gaze to look at him.

He was standing in front of me, staring down at me intently. Quickly he kneeled down between my legs. He positioned himself so that the both of his shins were against the floor, but he was sitting straight.

Daichi gingerly placed one on his hands on my thighs and reached for one of my hands with his other. Slowly, he licked his bottom lip and shut his eyes tightly.

"Fine, if you're not going to talk then I need you to listen to me," Daichi said firmly.

"It's okay if you don't feel the same way but I need you to know this. I can't keep carrying this weight inside me. And if you never want to see me again or want nothing to do with me, that's fine. That being said, the truth is; I like you, a lot."

As he spoke, his hand slightly tightened against my skin. Finally, I allowed myself to look at him. When my gaze met him, it was so intense that I almost had to turn away.

Quietly, words materialized from my mouth.

"But I don't understand, you said- "

"I know what I said, but that was before I met you."

I shook my head, "I just don't understand why. What's so special about me?".

His hands moved up from my body to my face, snaking up to the apples of my cheeks where he caressed them softly in his palm. The warmth spread from my cheeks and all the way down the core of my neck. Slowly, raised slightly for the position that he was in and moved his face closer to mine.

I watched as his eyes flicked. They flashed with emotion, that beyond one I had ever seen before on anyone.

I desperately wanted to crawl down his throat and into the vase that held his voice and hear what he wanted to say. What he eventually was going to say, but I couldn't. I just sat there helpless, awaiting the moment of my coming demise.

His mouth moved, then stopped just before any words even came out. He looks as though he had it all figured out, ready to read out the script he formulated in his mind but right as he was about to recite it he backed out.

To me, it seemed like he didn't have the answer, that was considering if there had even been one, to begin with. Gradually, one of his hands slid slightly down my cheek and right into the small of my neck. He pulled his eyes from my face and moved them past me.

Finally, "I don't know,".

"I have absolutely no fucking clue and that's the scary part. It just hurts. It hurts really fucking bad when you're not around me and I don't know how to explain it to you."

He pulled his eyes back to mine and somehow, I could see the word that he couldn't formulate cohesively to me. For Daichi, it wasn't about being special. It was much more than that.

It was about me, just being me. And I guess, in a weird way, I understood that. If a relationship is broken into the pieces of a puzzle, the pieces are supposed to fit. If a piece itself is different and new, it just won't fit. It's not meant to.

Daichi and I just fit.

I know we did because I could feel it. Even though the words weren't really there to explain it perfectly, I knew. And I don't just mean from him but in my own heart, and it had been that way for a while actually.

Noticing my thoughtful silence, Daichi slowly started to stand back up, the warmth of his hand slowly slipping from my face. Just before his hands fully removed themselves he said, "Just forget I even said anything.".

Quickly, my body reacted for the first time probably in the past hour in a half. My hands shot up and held his in place on my face. I stood up to meet his eyes. For a second, I cursed my body for reacting on instinct due to the fact that I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to say. But before I knew it, words were flowing out of my mouth.

"Daichi, I get it. I get it, I get it, I get it. And I feel the same way. And I'm sorry. And- "

Through my rambling, the sound of Daichi's angelic laugh cut through, cutting me off and causing me to blush.

"I like you, a lot" I mumbled, cheek tingling from embarrassment.

I moved my face closer to his, bringing mine to the point that our noses were basically touching.

"A lot," I repeated.

Chapter Text

The lightness that I felt in my chest was foreign. The weight that had once occupied that empty space had been there for so long that I had practically forgotten how it felt not to be pressured by the weight of pain.

I held the physical pieces of my heart that I had been missing for all these years in my arms, Koushi. The warmth of his body pressed against mine made my skin hum and my mind was buzzing with no comprehendible thoughts, just begging me to keep close to the man. Curiously, I moved my eyes from his eyes to his lips, imagining what they would look like with mine against them.

The desire to fulfill the concept urged me but before I could satisfy the desire, Koushi beat me to the chase. His hands moved like clockwork from my hands and gingerly moved onto my cheeks then slowly slipped around my neck pulling me closer.

Losing himself in the kiss, Koushi slightly began to lean back against the surface of the bed, causing me to lose my balance on the floor a bit. Not wanting to fall onto him followed his lead and leaned down slightly to match his angle, not willing to sacrifice breaking the kiss. We stayed like that for a moment until he continued to lean back, his grip around my neck causing me to go down with him.

I balanced myself against the bed by pressing one of my knees against the bed between Koushi legs while keeping the other grounded against the floor. My forearms were flush against the surface of the bed, Koushi laying between them.

My lungs slowly began to tighten, not satisfied with the fact that I was practically forgetting how to breathe through my nose. I tried to hold out for as long as I could but I knew if I didn't give myself a break, I would most likely pass out.

My mouth fell open slightly against Koushis and I flicked my tongue against his bottom lip. He gasped slightly and I took his bottom lip between my teeth and bit it lightly before taking my chance to pull away.

Koushi loosened his grip around my neck and I pulled away from him slightly in an attempt to get a better look at him.

His face was practically glowing peach, much unlike its usual pale hue. His hair was splayed in all different directions. My eyes scanned his face, moving half mindedly back to his lips which were now slightly swollen before moving back to catch his eyes.

He eyed me, "You bit me!"

Smiling down at him, now embarrassed, I replied "Hey! It's been a long time since I made out with anyone!"

Koushi smiled at me smugly and I couldn't help but smile back.

"You have iron lungs!" I attempted to retaliate. But Koushi just giggled dismissively, teasing me for biting him more before admitting half mindedly that he liked it.

We continued to joke around but soon enough, my arms began to get sore from being in that position for so long. I pushed myself up slightly before pushing my body upwards and falling onto the empty space next to Koushi on the bed. Quickly, I flipped so that I was resting on my side facing Koushi, and he followed my lead.

For hours, we just stayed like that. Lying parallel to each other, talking about everything under the sun, laughing, sneaking chaste touches and kisses. But before the two of us knew it, our eyelids outweighed desperation to stay open and we both fell into a slumber.

And then just as easily as the night had ended, the morning had come. The sun spilling through the blinds was what alerted me of that fact. Groggily, I let my hand fall against my face whipping away sleep from my eyes.

A small yawn bellowed lightly out of my mouth as I slowly sat up, in an attempt not to disturb the sleeping Koushi that was next to me.

Koushi sleeping next to me, the simple thought struck a burst of warm energy through my body. I turned to admire the sight, but my eyes were met with an empty mess of sheets. I stared at them blankly, the warm buzz in my body instantly replaced with chilling ice that shot down my spine. The sun shied away, its beaming stream ceasing to pour through the blinds, the air around me grew cold.

A fucking dream.

I knew it was too good to be true.

Koushi probably left after I made an absolute mockery of myself in front of him and my ex-wife and in his departure I drowned myself in alcohol and sorrow, fabricating that whole night. Slowly I raised my hands from the duvet before throwing them back down in frustration.

Roughly, I threw myself back onto the surface of the bed prepared to wallow in my own self-pity. Deciding that it'd be better to cry it out now so that when Tobio got back, I would be fully prepared to flash him a happy facade.

I pulled my pillow over my face in an attempt to block out all the light that had remained in the room, desperately wanting to be alone in the void. Firmly, I squeezed my eyes closed letting some of the newly forming tears absorb into the pillow.

Suddenly, there was an unexpected dip on the empty space of the bed next to me and the pillow was lifted from my face.

"Oh, good you're already awake." a voice greeted me. Then, "Are you crying?"

I shot up, my hands flying to my face frantically whipping at my eyes.

"No, that just happens sometimes when I wake up. I think I have weak eyes, the sun's rays... burn my corneas." I rambled. It was a dumb lie but I couldn't think of anything better, my heart was beating so loud to the point that I could bearly thing straight.

I cranked my head around to face the direction that the familiar voice was coming from and there he was. Koushi, illuminated by the sunlight that had coincidentally decided to make an appearance again at this exact moment. He smiled at me awkwardly, also looking like he was judging me for my obvious lie, but he looked exactly like an angel sent from God.

Recently, I had been questioning if I even believed in God, and most times the answer was no. But looking at the boy who was silently shading me made me send her a little thanks, apologizing for not giving her credit where credit was due. She had passed me down my second piece of heaven, finally completing the puzzle, Tobio being the first.

"If you say so, but you should get that checked out. Anyways, I made you breakfast." Koushi said, chuckling a bit. He sat upon his knees and reached around to the nightstand, grabbing the two plates that rested on the surface. He passed me one before laying out a napkin on the bed before placing his own atop it.

My eyes moved away from him and to the plate. There were some hash browns, toast, and a golden omelet with a small messy heart painted with ketchup squirted on top. As I looked down at the plate, I could feel my body slumping forward slightly. My heart was getting so heavy, my body could barely support the weight.

Slowly, I sat up. I looked over at Koushi, he had a fork loaded with food and had it on route to meet his mouth. I watched it, almost in slow motion. He was clearly talking at the same time, but I couldn't hear the sound. My body frantically jutted in his direction and my hands sprung to grab his face. Lightly, I pulled his face towards mind and, like magnets, our lips met together.

It took him a second but he kissed me back and when I pulled away, pulled me back and gave me one last peck. He chuckled and shoved neglected the food that was on his fork into his mouth.

"That's an interesting way of saying thank you," he mumbled smugly.

And I guess in a way it was. But it wasn't only for the food. It was because he was here, really here. Existing. Genuinely existing, not a dream. And whether I knew it or not, this is how it was meant to be. How it was going to be, for the rest of the both of our lives. Existing together.

Chapter Text

ays turned to weeks turned to months. I glanced over at the calendar, which this month was displaying a picture of a Dalmatian puppy, and sighed. My sigh slipped into the noisy air before disappearing into the chatter of the children who were running around the room.

I watched them intently, partially because it was, in fact, my job to do so but also in mindless wonder. Many of them stubbled carelessly around the room, spouting whatever popped into their mind, fearless of any repercussions from the weight of their meaningless words. Their heedless actions almost made them appear like they were floating, almost looking down on the rest of us. Like they were above us.

And I guess, in a way, they were. They had the ability that most lose in the procedure of aging, the ability to be careless. Both with words and actions. And in that way, their wrath was more feared than those of glare from the eyes God herself.

At first, I found myself envious of this power. Holding my tongue had developed into a talent and I swallowed my words like they were pills. After so long, compliance became my standard.

It didn't take too long for my compliance to be put to the test. The negligence of the children eventually rubbed off on me. It started with a small smudge, coming out of my comfort zone to ask something of others. And when the smoke had been rubbed into a full stain, I had been doing things I would have never even dreamed of doing. However, this was one of the first times, in all my years of being a daycare teacher, that this was the case.

It was almost a snowball effect. When I first started this job, I would never even imagine staying here with the mindset that I have right now, experiencing things I never even could imagine.

Lost in the time of my own thoughts, I hadn't noticed the amount of time that had come and gone. I glanced mindlessly at my wrist checking the time. Almost as if on queue a pair of parents waltzed through the doorway, their kids automatically dropping everything and ran to them.

I let a small smile make its way onto my lips as I wordlessly waved them off.

More parents came and the number of kids in the room was now down to just a handful, the amount of noise dwindled down as the numbers decreased. And when most of those kids left, all that remained was Shoyou and Tobio.

This was something that I was used to, and knowing their family situations I knew exactly why.

I let myself relax as I slowly walked behind my desk and fell into my chair. I watched the pair carefully out of the corner of my eye, knowing that the two of them were usually well behaved but Shoyou had his slip-ups at times.

I watched as Shoyou carelessly passed off a toy that Tobio had asked him for, ranting and raving to him about nothing in particular. My mind wandered curiously, imagining them in their later years. They had such an interesting bond, even at such a young age. A slight pang of jealousy struck me due to the fact that I could only imagine feeling that when I was that young, but quickly flattered.

In my thought, I failed to notice that Asahi had quietly walked into the room, directly followed by Daichi. The sight of the tanner man caused my heart to quicken in its pace and my body to become antsy, causing me to stand up from my chair.

I watched Daichi intently, almost commanding him with my mind to speak to me but he didn't. He walked directly towards Tobio and pulled him up into his large arms, causing Tobio to stubbornly protest claiming that he was 'too old to be carried'. Daichi chuckled at this, explaining to the boy that he would never be too old due to the fact that he would always be his 'little guy' in his eyes but complied and dropped the boy from his grasp.

At this point, I was practically staring holes into Daichi's body, to the point that he could probably feel the weight of my gaze against him. He pulled his eyes from Tobio and moved them to me.

Months ago, this move would have intimidated me. It would have made me pull my eyes away immediately, saving myself the embarrassment of blushing but now it was different. I was different. Now, I stood still staring into the brown pools of his eyes, wordlessly challenging him to say something to me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Asahi eyeing the two of us awkwardly as he gathered Shoyou. I heard him mumble out a goodbye to Daichi catching Daichi off guard making him pull his eyes away from me and move them towards Asahi.

As I moved my way out from behind my desk, the two shared a brief farewell. Slowly, I walked over to them silently waiting for them to finish up talking.

Asahi moved his eyes from Daichi and moved them to me. He abruptly stopped the conversation and began to walk in my direction.

He looked at me, his expression looking almost as if he was pitying me, and muttered a quick goodbye before making his way out the door. It had been a while since I had seen Asahi, due to the fact that Yuu was typically the one who picked Shoyou up, but I assumed Daichi had told him what was going on between us.

I watched Asahi walk through the door, waiting until I was certain he was out of earshot before turning my eyes back to Daichi. His eyes were glued to me but as soon as mine met his, he pulled them from me. A heavy sigh slipped past my lips.

"Daichi, are you really still doing this?" I asked, annoyance dripping from off my words.

His head hung, stubbornly letting my words fall into silent air.

I stepped closer to him.

"You have to talk to me at some point."

My words were met with more silence, I stepped closer. The closer I got, the harder it got for him to avoid my eyes. Another sigh fell through my lips.

"What can I do to make this better?" I asked, desperation falling through in my words. At this point, the silence was killing me. He, once again, moved his head stopping momentarily to look at me before pulling his eyes away. I waited, but just before I was about to lose hope he spoke.

"I want you to apologize."

I mentally rolled my eyes, not wanting to risk making him angrier.

Mustering up false sincerity, I found the words that were requested. Stepping closer to Daichi, closing what little space that had remained between us, I let the apology fill the silence.

Daichi, knowing the falseness of this apology still refused to look at me. I gingerly moved my hands upwards towards him and pulled his face towards mine making it almost impossible for him not to look at me. I stared up at him, my eyes falling soft, before leaning forward to capture his lips in a soft kiss.

"Are you really going to stay mad at me?" I asked, already knowing the answer to the question.

A thoughtful look painted its way on his face before erasing itself, replacing itself with a playful smile. His arms snaked their way around my waist and he leaned down, pulling me even closer, pulling me into another kiss.

Pulling away he said, "just admit that I'm a good cook and well call it even."

Not even really meaning too, a giggle erupted and Daichi glared down at me playfully.

"Sorry, but you and I both know that's not true. That stuff you made this morning was atrocious.", this caused a deep agreeing laugh to erupt from Daichi and with that, our petty argument from this morning had been forgotten.

"Y'all are nasty," Tobio mumbled quietly. In all honesty, I had almost forgotten that he was in the room.

Daichi's grip on me loosened, "Did you just say y'all? what are you a cowboy?" he asked playfully.

Tobio shrugged, "I might be."

Daichi let another laugh out and fully released me, my hand falling from his face and back down to my side.

"Alright then, cowboy. Are you ready to go home."

Wordlessly, Tobio walked forward in front of us towards the door. Daichi took that opportunity to lean over and kiss me again before following Tobio's lead.

"Alright babe, let's go home."

For a second, my feet didn't move. I just stood there staring at Daichi's back.

I stood there, warmth filling every inch of my body. There had been many moments in my life that I never thought that I'd ever been able to truly be in love or be loved by another person but looking at Daichi, my chest physically hurt.

In the past couple of months, everything that I had experienced was beyond anything that I could ever comprehend. Being with Daichi, even being around Daichi, made me question if the word 'love' was powerful enough to truly describe this feeling.

I watched as Daichi turned to look at me, noticing I wasn't following in his lead and he urged me to hurry up. And finally, following his command, my feet moved.

I jogged over to him and reached my desk to grab my belongings.

And with that, we started our way home.

My home.

With my family.

Chapter Text

So, as the chapter name says- I have started a spin-off book for Daycare. The book is uploaded if you want to check it out!

Thank you for reading regardless!