Chapter Text

You've had a hellish day at the office. In general, you know that clients are always idiots, but you’re confident that today’s one has been the worst ever.

“Karnstein! Did you see the CEO’s face? I was on the verge of killing you when you suggested that maybe they should hire another advertising agency for their campaign. I don’t know how you saved it, but I definitely want you to stay with us forever!”

“He's an idiot that doesn’t know what’s good for his company. If he had paid more attention to our proposal the first time instead of Elsie's legs, he would have understood it correctly in the beginning.”
At least you have fun winding up Ian, your boss. Ever since you started working with him as a trainee, he has never ceased to be frustrated by your behavior. But he’ll never let you go because he knows how good your ideas are and how well you do your job, even though he swears that his hair has gone grayer since you joined the firm. From the day you started, his business and client base has kept growing, so he knows your work is beyond reproach. Now that you're the Creative Director, his agency is the country's number one.

“Hey, sweetie… Uhm, I mean, Carmilla, you have several calls from the school.”

Elsie has been working as your personal assistant for several years. Ever since that one time that you lost your composure at the New Year’s company party and nearly slept with her, she thinks she can flirt with you all the time. Fortunately, she doesn’t try to cross any boundaries during working hours; when there are people around you in the office, she’s professional and mostly subtle about what she thinks is going on between both of you. As far as you’re concerned, nothing’s ever going to happen between Elsie and you. But apparently, she’s convinced that it’s only a matter of time.
“Thank you, Elsie,” you reply curtly. “I’ll return the calls in a minute. You can go now.”

“‘Sweetie, eh? Now you're like the voyeuristic guy from that teen movie who sleeps with his assistant?” says Ian when she leaves.

“That was bondage” you reply to your boss who looks surprised by your correction. “Ian, anyone with half a brain knows the difference between voyeurism and BDSM,” you sigh.

You try to make it clear that you haven’t read any of those books. That is if you can call them books at all.

“Whatever, Karnstein! I just wanted to congratulate you on getting the account, so I’ll let you make your calls ... Sweetie.”

Your boss walks out of your office laughing, and you pick up the phone to return the calls from school.

An hour later you find yourself walking through the school hall, following a secretary taking you to the appropriate classroom. When you arrive, you see three children sitting at different desks in the room. At the back, there is a child with a black eye. It's a lot worse than you expected from the phone call. There’s snot pouring out of his nose as a woman tries to wipe his tear-streaked face, while a man beside them with crossed arms looks bored and apathetic.

In the middle of the room, there seems to be a little kid almost hidden in their black hoodie, which prevents you from seeing who they actually are.

Near the main desk and beside the door, you find the reason for your presence there; a small girl with curly, honey-blond hair. But her hair is not as flawless as when you left her to the school this morning, nor her clothes as clean as expected. Stunned, you stand in front of her small desk, waiting for her to raise her eyes and acknowledge your presence. She knows you’re there but keeps her head lowered because she knows what awaits her. After watching her with folded arms for a few minutes, you bow down to look into her eyes.

“Do you want to explain what this is all about, Cupcake?”

The small girl raises her head slightly, and you can see the regret on her face.

“Sorry, Mommy,” she whispers.

When you stay silent, she continues to talk. “But it's not my fault, I swear. He started it! There was no need for him to be mean. He said horrible things. He shouldn’t have said them. We supposed to be kind to others. It really wasn’t my fault.”

“Hayley, you can’t just punch a kid because he insults you.”

Ugh, you don’t recognize yourself. Carmilla Karnstein preaching against violence?

“He didn’t say anything to me. But he still said ugly things. I asked him to stop saying them, but he wouldn’t stop, Mommy!”

You breathe deeply before finally understanding what your daughter is trying to say.

“Wait, if he didn't say anything bad to you, then why did you hit him?”

“Because he was bothering Sloan,” said the blonde, looking towards the other child you had noticed earlier.

When you turn around, your gaze connects with the eyes of a distressed little girl who had lifted the hood of her sweatshirt. The child’s hair is almost the same intense black as yours, and her pale skin makes it seem even darker. There is something about her that draws your attention, and you give the girl a friendly nod before returning your gaze to the blonde.

“I understand Hayley, but you can’t go around the world defending every person you meet. She has to learn to stick up for herself; you’re not always going to be there to take care of her.”

“But he said horrible things! He was making fun of Sloan and said she was ugly, and I told him that Sloan is not ugly, and he didn’t need to be mean to her. But he wouldn’t stop. He said no one wanted to be friends with Sloan and that her clothes were dirty, and it was awful. I told him to leave her alone, but he didn’t stop and kept saying bad things. Then he pushed her. You always told me that no boy should lay a hand on a girl, and that’s why I hit him!” says your daughter in a rush.
That is one of the worst things about Hayley; she can talk for hours. When Will brought her to the fair, you had to listen to her stories for at least a week afterward. And yes, it can drive you to distraction sometimes, but you had also learned to love it.

“Hayley, you can’t do that. I know you wanted to defend the girl, but really you can’t go around hitting everyone just because they’re attacking someone else.”

“It's not fair! He was bothering my friend.”

“Hayley, today was the first day of school. You don’t even know her!”

“It doesn’t matter! Sloan's still my friend,” insisted Hayley.
You can feel the gaze of the other child again and turn to notice her staring. You're not sure, but she seems stunned at hearing Hayley’s assertion.

“Buttercup …"

“It's not fair,” says your daughter again with downcast eyes and pouting. You’re defenseless and realize that you’ve lost miserably. You breathe deeply as you have been doing ever since the blonde came into your life.

You straighten up and start to walk towards the couple and child when something interrupts you.

The room door suddenly bursts open to reveal a flustered blonde entering the room awkwardly. The woman remains frozen for a minute when she sees you looking at her, and you manage to register a slight blush on her face when you raise one of your eyebrows in question. Her hair is just like your daughter’s, only messier, and her eyes were just as piercing as Hayley’s.

The short blonde stares at you a few more seconds before running to the black-haired girl, but not before bumping into a pair of desks on the way.

Your mind has gone blank since you saw her but you manage to gather yourself together again before approaching the other child's parents. You easily manage to convince the father to drop the whole matter, but the real difficulty is with the mother who doesn’t want to accept that her child is also to blame for what happened.

“I think your son owes an apology to my daughter!”

The voice that interrupted your discussion with the child's mother makes you shudder for a moment. You turn around a bit to find the blonde next to you, and she’s absolutely furious.

“Rudolph doesn’t owe anything to anyone. He deserves an apology for being hit!”

You try to speak, but the tiny blonde cuts you off.

“Hayley was just defending my daughter from your son's bullying!”

You again raise an eyebrow at the blonde. She is supporting your daughter, and she says her name as if it were the most natural thing in the world. It also seems that her cheeks go red again when she sees you watching.

Not that you've been staring at her enough to notice how cute that is.

“How dare you! My son is not a bully! Why don’t you do something about your weirdo daughter’s attitude?”

The blonde woman goes red in the face again, but this time, it’s a little terrifying and not remotely cute.

“Oh! I will not allow you…"

The blonde takes a step towards the other woman who seems terrified by her action. But you grab her wrist to stop her, even though you’re a little scared of her yourself. You still find it amusing to see how this little woman becomes a maelstrom of violence to defend her daughter. It’s humorous and cute.
Still scary, though.
The blonde trails her gaze from your face to your hand taking her wrist and back to your face again. Now you’re the one who’s blushing slightly, and you slowly loosen your grip to talk with the boy’s mother.

“Look, lady, there is no need to make this bigger than it is. Hayley will apologize to your son, with the only condition being that he apologize to …"

“Sloan,” says the blonde when she sees you don’t know the name of her daughter.

“Sloan,” you add, nodding to the blonde.

The woman agrees, intimidated by the look of the blonde while her husband, who is now sitting on one of the desks, seems to enjoy the scene a little too much. The blonde goes over to her daughter, while you rejoin Hayley.
“Cupcake, you have to apologize to the kid for punching him.”

“But Mom, that’s not fair!”

Again a sigh leaves your mouth when you get lean down to be eye level with Hayley.

“No, it isn’t, and the world isn’t always fair. But it's what you should do.”

Your daughter looks at you, still unconvinced at your words. But you know your daughter, and you know how to persuade her.

“Look, the thing is if you apologize to the boy, he will apologize to Sloan. Wouldn’t you like Sloan to feel better?”

Your daughter's eyes light up even though you see she still wants to argue the point but convinces herself that what you said is true.

“Fiiiineee.”

Your daughter walks to the back of the room to apologize to the child. You perceive that the boy cringes slightly when he sees your daughter getting closer, but when she opens her mouth to apologize, he calms down and just nods.

Hayley walks back to you, and you can see her eyes rolling while she crosses her arms. You try not to laugh in front of everyone because you know what that gesture means. Your daughter can’t stand to be told she’s wrong in her beliefs. You know she did nothing wrong, but you can’t let her go through life trying to solve her problems the way you did at her age. Being a mother means that you have to at least prevent your child making the same mistakes you did.

The other child gets up and apologizes to Sloan in a forced and blatantly unrepentant manner, while the small black-haired girl only looks at him and nods briefly.

The mother of the girl has her arms folded, and you swear that she rolls her eyes in the same way your daughter did just a few moments ago. This woman is something else.

The boy has left the room with his parents when you notice the blonde coming towards both of you, holding her daughter's hand. Sloan’s head is bowed, and again her hoodie is covering her face completely. You can almost feel the sadness emanating from the girl. You recognize something in her that calls out to you.

You look at the blonde, and you can see her concern for her daughter. But she looks into your eyes, a smile emerges on her face.

It's beautiful.

You feel yourself smiling back, but you manage to curb it. The only one who has ever made you smile like that before is your daughter, and it mystifies you that you’d do it now to a woman that you’ve only just met.

“Thank you very much for defending Sloan,” says the blonde while leaning down to Hayley.
“’It’s okay, Sloan’s mom. She's my friend, and I will always defend her,” replies Hayley, sincerely.

You see the woman's staring wonderingly at Hayley as she sheds a small tear. But she wipes it away quickly, and her smile is even bigger. You don’t know how that could be possible, but it is.

“I'm Laura.”

The blonde reaches out to offer her hand to your daughter, and Hayley shakes it firmly.

“Nice to meet you, Laura. This is my mom; she’s called Carmilla.”

You feel your daughter stare at you quizzically when she introduces you, as you’re still staring silently at the blonde.

Laura. That’s her name.

“She’s a publicist. No, she is the BEST publicist in the world. She’s Creative Director of the agency. Her agency is the best. I like to go with her to the agency because they have a basketball court. I am too small to reach the basket, but I like to see how my mom's friends play. Sometimes they let me play with them, and they carry me to shoot. Sloan is taller than me, I’m sure she could get baskets by herself.”

You feel your daughter is covering for you, after noticing you still haven’t said a word. And you still don’t.

Laura is listening fondly to your daughter, looking as if she wants to smother her with tender kisses. And the funny thing about the situation is that you are there watching this woman in the same way.

“Wow! That sounds exciting, Hay.”

The affectionate nickname that Laura gives Hayley makes you jump. It's the same one you use when your child is sick, and you want to show how much you care for her.

“I'm not very good at basketball either,” continues Laura. “I'm about as small as you but I like to run, and I’m very fast. I’m sure Sloan would love to play basketball because she’d be very good at scoring; there are times I ask her to throw out her trash and she shoots from many meters away and manages to score without touching the rim.”

This can’t be happening. You have to stop the cute conversation these two are having, or you’ll probably never get out of there.

You touch your daughter's shoulder to let her know that you two should go and finally Laura lets go of her hand.

Laura rises to her feet and now extends her hand towards you.

“Laura,” she says.

“Carmilla," you reply. “Hayley, we have to go,” you say awkwardly when you realize you’re still staring at Laura.

Hayley walks to Sloan and gives her a hug. The black-haired girl tenses slightly when she feels your daughter’s arms embrace her.

You and Laura are just spectators for the scene, and she smiles again at your little girl's actions.

Again she looks at you and then looks at her hand still clasped in yours. You withdraw yours immediately. Is it getting hotter in this damn room!? They were supposed to have installed a new air conditioning system, according to the tour you had to take when signing Hayley up for this school, right?

“Mom, before we leave, can I show Bagheera to Sloan please?”

You can only nod to your daughter's wishes and pass her your phone to search for pictures of the black cat that you got her for a pet.

There is a brief silence as the girls sit at a desk away from both of you to look at the cat pics. Hayley starts to tell Sloan about how you took her to the pet shelter to get the black cat and that she named him ‘Bagheera’ after her favorite book.

“Really, thank you so much,” says Laura breaking the silence while leaning on the desk in front of you. “Sloan has a hard time making friends. She is very shy, and that makes her reluctant to talk to other kids. So they think it's weird because she's always reading or listening to her music. She has never had a real friend.”

You look askance at Laura, but you keep watching the two girls and how they interact. Your daughter is already recounting the first day that the two of you tried to bathe Bagheera. He gave you dozens of scratches while you tried to get him into the bathtub, leaving both of you wetter that the cat after the ordeal. Hayley dies laughing whenever she tells that story, and this was no exception.

Sloan is attentive as she looks at the pictures and all she does is nod and smile at the contagious laughter of your daughter. That always happens to you too, no matter how tired, angry and frustrated you are. When you hear Hayley's laughter, you can’t help but smile.

“You know Sloan told me that Hayley had said she was her friend. Your daughter is an angel.”

She is, you think.

“I would love her to be friends with Sloan if you didn’t mind. I’m sure Sloan would love for her to come home to play.”

Now Hayley has one arm around the shoulders of Sloan who looks a little overwhelmed with the situation while she’s holding your phone and continues to show her more pictures. Your daughter has removed the hood so they can see each other while chatting and the girl lets her do it without flinching. You find yourself recognizing a kindred spirit in Sloan.

“It’s fine by me,” you finally manage to say.

You look at Laura who is still smiling, apparently heart-warmed by the actions of your daughter and your approval of the friendship.

“Whenever you want us to do it, call me,” you say.

You spit out the words without thinking, and when you realize how they sounded, it’s too late to take them back.

“I meant, when you want Hayley to play with Sloan,” you say awkwardly. “Look, just give me a call and we can schedule a playdate.”

Stupid school, it is clear that they lied to you about the air conditioners. The room is hotter than hell. Laura obviously finds it warm too, because you see her fanning herself with her hand

“Thank you. You don’t know what that means for me… well, for Sloan and me,” Laura answers as if nothing happened and you thank her silently for ignoring your foolish comment.

You nod and call Hayley again to pick up her things so that both of you can leave. Laura tells Sloan to do the same.

“Again thank you for defending Sloan. That other child is such a brat.”

“Well, you can’t blame him with parents like that. Who the hell names their child Rudolph anyway?”

Somehow, Laura makes you feel comfortable enough to release one of your classic snarky remarks. The blonde lets out a loud laugh. Loud and melodious laughter, like choirs of angels. That laugh.

A few minutes later, the four of you are standing outside the main door of the school.

Hayley again embraces Sloan who seems increasingly comfortable with each hug and approaches Laura to hug her too as she says goodbye.

“So, The Clash, eh? You have excellent taste. See you soon, kiddo,” you tell her while you point to the hoodie.

The girl looks up to you and smiles shyly. You ruffle her hair and return the smile while saying goodbye.

Laura extends her hand to you again.

“It's been a real pleasure, Carmilla” Laura says cheerfully.

“A real pleasure, Laura” you agree.

Still smiling, you walk back to your car with your daughter’s hand in yours. After all, it has been a very good day indeed.

Chapter Text

You wake up with the first rays of the sun, and you smile. You think it’s going to be a special day, like every day. You have so many things to do, but surely you’re going to enjoy them. The light coming through the window seems a lot brighter than it should be.

You wake up quickly and look at the clock that is on your bedside table only to realize you've overslept and only have about twenty minutes to get ready. Jumping out of bed, you race to your daughter's bedroom, only to find her sitting on her bed, fully dressed and ready for school. It’s at times like this that it seems that she is the mother rather than you. Giving her a grateful look, you run back to the bathroom to get ready and leave.

“Are you excited for your first day at school?” From the backseat of the car, Sloan gazes out the window without looking at you. You already know she’s isn’t excited, but don’t want to dampen your expectations of her. You love your daughter, and you’d love her to be happier. She doesn’t smile very often at people she doesn't know. That has never worked out well for her.

“I love you. Today will be a special day, Sloan. You’ll see,” you tell your daughter when she’s out of the car walking toward the school. She nods and drags her backpack along the ground, without uttering a word. A few hours later, you find yourself in your office at Channel 3, where you’ve worked since you were at college. You started as an intern and over time you've climbed the ladder to become Chief Editor at the channel. This ensures long hours of work and great pay, but it also means less time to spend with Sloan. While this makes you feel constantly guilty, you just know that your sacrifices will pay off later.

“Hollis, I can’t believe you broke this story about the scandal in the Prime Minister’s office!” says Sophia, your boss.

“It’s something we couldn’t pass up. Besides, you know that we need to let people know the truth.”

“Laura Hollis, defender of free speech!”

You laugh at the name but secretly you feel honored that she recognizes and values your principles. You’re humble, but then again who doesn’t like to see that their work is appreciated? “Laura, you have a call on line five. It’s from your daughter’s school.” You run to the phone to take the call. Clearly, there must be an emergency for them to call you on the first day of school.

“Laura Hollis.”

“HI, Laura. Sorry for the call but there was a situation with Sloan…”

“Is she okay, Perry?”

“Yes, Laura. She's fine but she was involved in a fight, and we need you to come down to the school immediately.”

“Thanks, Perry. I'm on my way.”

You hang up, and you tell your boss that you have to go. Sophia knows how important your daughter is in your life and how good you are at your job. So she lets you go immediately. You drive away from the building only to run into a long line of traffic that makes you a lot angrier than it should.

You're anxious about Sloan. She’s a sweet but very shy girl, and couldn’t make any friends during her years in kindergarten. You’re worried that such loneliness will harm her. You're a mess, and you've been aware of that since you decided to have Sloan. Over the years, you’ve tried to improve things to give your daughter the best possible life. But you're still the same oblivious and somewhat clumsy Laura Hollis of your university years. That has never stopped you from loving Sloan and wanting to do whatever it takes to make her happy.

Perry is the director of the department of psychology at Silas Elementary School. Knowing Sloan’s situation, Perry convinced you that it was a good idea to enroll her in her school so that she could observe and help with her socialization problems. The redhead has been your best friend since college, and you trusted her enough to accept the offer. When you finally get to the school, you head directly to the main office, and they informed you what happened: A third-year boy was bothering Sloan, and one girl in her class stood up for her by striking the boy. You talk to Perry trying to find out about the girl who defended your daughter. Perry confirms that she will take the problem personally so that the child isn’t disciplined more than what's necessary for her actions. She understands that it was provoked by the boy's behavior and tells you that she’ll make sure the boy leaves Sloan alone in future. Perry accompanies you to the room where the kids and their parents are. But halfway there, she receives an urgent call and has to direct you the rest of the way. She promises to call you that evening to discuss the incident and says goodbye with a hug as she always does.

You quicken your steps. You know you have to get there as soon as possible to reassure your daughter so that she wouldn't feel guilty about what happened. That’s typical of your little girl; being such an introverted child, she gets very apprehensive with situations around her and always ends up blaming herself for anything bad that happens. When you enter the room, you realize that you’ve been running to get there. You open the door in such a rush that you almost collide with everything in your path. You feel the stares of the group of people already there and that paralyzes you. But you can’t help but gawk at the most beautiful woman you've ever seen in your whole life. Intriguing and beautiful.

You cut the staring when you feel your cheeks getting redder than Perry’s hair and run awkwardly to the desk where your daughter is sitting. Your first instinct is to embrace her tenderly. Sloan returned the hug as tears begin to run down her cheeks, and you try to wipe them away.

“I'm sorry, Mom,” she sobbed.

“Sloan, this is not your fault. Are you okay? What did that kid say to you?”

“The usual stuff.”

You see your daughter sink deeper into despondency. During her years in kindergarten, there were some incidents where the other kids insulted and taunted her because she preferred to read by herself rather than play with them.

“Mom, it's my fault. I don’t want to Hayley to get into trouble.”

Your daughter throws a peek at a small girl with curly blonde hair seated at the front of the room. You feel it’s like looking at your younger self in a mirror. She’s smaller than your daughter, and it amuses you a little that she still stood up for Sloan by beating up a boy that was much bigger than her. When you turn to look at him, you think for a moment that you’d be afraid of him too, but she wasn’t. She stood up for her friend.

“Everything will be fine, Sloan. This isn’t your fault, honey. We’ll help Hayley so that everything goes well for her.”

“Mom…” Your daughter takes another deep breath as if the situation had the best of her. You see her debating whether to tell you more, but you nod to give her the courage to say what else is on her mind.

“Hayley said she was my friend. She told her mother that. I don’t want the only girl who ever wanted to be my friend getting into trouble because of me.”

You melt. You go back to hug your daughter and look again at the little blonde playing now and trying to place her feet on the desk, frowning when she fails. You smile. There's something about that girl that makes you want to hug her.

“Sloan, none of this is your fault. I promise that everything will be okay. You and Hayley are going to be great friends.”

Looking to the back of the room, you see a raven-haired woman arguing with the child's mother while the father looks entertained without making any comment. Typical son of an irresponsible father and a doting mother, you think.

“I think your son owes an apology to my daughter,” you say, interrupting the conversation.

“Rudolph doesn’t owe an apology to anyone, he deserves an apology for being stuck.”

“Hayley was just defending my daughter from your rude son!”

You feel the eyes of the raven-haired on you while you blush again. You don’t know how you can focus properly when you look at or face the boy's mother.

When the woman rants defending her son and insinuates that your daughter brought it on herself by her behavior, you explode. You know that children pick up many of their ignorant opinions from their parents. Intolerance is something that is taught at home, and it is clear that you will not let anyone insult your daughter or take her down just for being different.

“Oh, I will not allow you…” you say while you point at her with your index finger menacingly. It’s not that you're usually in favor of violence, but the intransigence of this woman tries your patience.

You’re usually a very placid person unless people mess with the ones you love. Especially if it’s your daughter. But your mind can not process what you were going to say next because you feel a hand gripping your wrist. The contact is firm, yet gentle. You return your gaze to the owner of the hand and focus on her eyes again. They are a deep brown, penetrating yet warm. Her skin is as pale as your daughters, and like her, she has black hair that makes it look even more so. It's like looking at Sloan when she grows up. You hope your daughter will be as beautiful as this woman when she gets older. You look back down at her hand holding your wrist and back again to her serious face. Serious, but also friendly.

At this point, you know your face is redder than it’s ever been. You're stunned when you manage to hear her voice clearly for the first time. Everything she says indicates self-confidence, and it’s almost as if you felt protected by it. The woman offers the mother’s child a truce. Hayley apologizes to him if he apologizes to Sloan. You're not happy that the child will get away with just an apology, but it feels like the best deal for Hayley to save her from getting into trouble. You promised your daughter she wouldn’t, but you still think it’s unfair.

You go back to Sloan, finding that she has the hood over her head again. She does that whenever she wants to isolate herself from the world. You can’t help thinking that this experience will make her problems worse, but you hope that Hayley still wants to be friends with her at least. You look at the small blonde child apologize and immediately the other child drags his feet over to Sloan to offer a false apology to your daughter. Sloan just nods while you roll your eyes at the child's insincerity. Yes, your little girl is definitely much more mature than you are. The child and his parents finally leave.

You want to thank Hayley and her mother for defending Sloan, so you walk towards them with your daughter in hand. You can’t help but smile at the pair. You think for a minute that the woman smiles back but within seconds her face is expressionless. Maybe she's upset because her daughter has gotten into trouble because of Sloan? You hope she doesn’t want to stop their budding friendship. You speak to Hayley first.

“Thank you very much for defending Sloan.”

“It’s okay, Sloan’s mom. She's my friend, and I will always defend her.”

Definitely, your heart melts again at this moment because of this girl, and you want her to be part of Sloan’s life. You will not let her leave your daughter’s life.

You chat with Hayley, and she introduces her mother, Carmilla, who remains silent. Apparently, she’s a publicist. Interestingly, she doesn’t mention a father or partner.

What are you even thinking of, Laura! You scold yourself.

The raven-haired woman is as silent as your daughter, and you find yourself chatting with the little blonde as if you had known her for years. The familiarity of this girl hits you, and you can’t take your eyes off her. You keep talking with Hayley but glance sidelong at her mother. She remains still but looks away from you. When she puts her hand on her daughter's shoulder, you feel the urge to make them stay a little longer. So you finally introduce yourself to her, holding out your hand to feel a firm grip. Firm and cozy. You hear her voice and try to not close your eyes from sheer delight.

Fortunately, Hayley distracts you when she walks to Sloan to give her a hug. And yes, more than ever, you really want the little blonde to be part of your daughter's life. You return your gaze to the raven-haired woman. You feel a chill when you notice that your hands are still clasped. Carmilla seems to be embarrassed for the first time, and you feel that the security and self-assuredness in her voice suddenly becomes nonexistent.
Hayley takes your daughter to see pictures of her pet away from the pair of you. Both of you remain silent Feeling your legs tremble at being left alone with her… with Carmilla, you find a convenient desk to lean against.

“Really, thank you so much.”

The silence is broken when the words come out of your mouth. You don’t know why but you feel really nervous being left alone with Carmilla.

You pray to the gods that she doesn’t notice and realize what an idiot you are. It takes a few moments before you feel more confident with Carmilla, and you tell her that Sloan has trouble making friends.

The publicist remains as quiet as ever; she nods but keeps a watchful eye on the dynamic between your daughter and hers.

You can hear Hayley’s laugh and see how your little girl smiles at her. A smile, you think. Sloan smiled with Hayley, and that's not something she allows herself to do with anyone but you. Your heart swells a little thinking about the possibility that the blonde could help Sloan out of her shell.

“You know Sloan told me that Hayley had said she was her friend. Your daughter is an angel,” you say to Carmilla.

Both of you watch the two girls interacting as if they had known each other all their lives. You can almost see a friendship blooming like Lafontaine and Perry’s at that age.

If someday they would happen to fall in love like your friends, you wouldn’t have any problem with that. You feel you can trust your daughter with Hayley.

It's risky to speculate so early, you know, but you're used to making up such scenarios in your mind.

Hayley has managed to remove the hoodie from Sloan’s head and keeps your daughter in a close embrace. You feel some jealousy because Sloan looks as comfortable with Hayley as she does with you. But you banish that thought because you know it's silly and you’re grateful that Hayley can do something so easily for your daughter that’s taken you years to achieve. Unable to stop smiling at them, you ask Carmilla would she allow Hayley be friends with your little girl. You don’t know if the women will accept. You’re still afraid that the closed off expression on her face is because Hayley got into trouble by standing up for Sloan. But you can’t let your daughter miss this opportunity to have her first real friend.

Carmilla seems to agree. You can’t remember her exact words because you are so focused on looking at her lips when she finally spoke after such a long silence.

Not that you've been looking at her lips this whole time. No, not at all.

Carmilla goes on to say something like “We should hook up" and "call me" combined in a sentence that makes your face feel as warm as the late summer heat. Carmilla rectifies her sentence, and you don’t know whether to laugh or feel disappointed at the correction.

Laura Hollis, get it together!

But you still feel that it’s warmer inside that room than it should be, compared to the school yard in the sunshine. You fan your face as subtly as you can to cover up your embarrassment and slowly swallow because suddenly your mouth feels completely dry.

“Thank you. You don’t know what that means for me… well, for Sloan and me.”

Now you’re the one correcting yourself. You hope Carmilla doesn’t notice your awkwardness and the fact that you’re a bundle of nerves right now.

When Carmilla finally tells Hayley that they have to leave, and you do the same with Sloan, you thank her again for her little girl's good deed.

She responds with a funny comment about the bullies' name that makes you drop one of your silly laughs. You’re suddenly ashamed that this sophisticated woman has heard you laugh so childishly, but you can’t help it. Carmilla does not react in any way to your laughter. But at least she doesn’t act as condescendingly as the boy and his family.

So it’s progress. You think.

When you’re outside the school, Hayley hugs your daughter again, and you can almost feel Sloan trying to hold onto her.

The blonde comes up to you and gives you the same loving act. You receive her with open arms.

You listen to Carmilla praising Sloan’s musical taste, and you see a shy smile on the face of Sloan that seems to make it glow. It’s strange the way this woman has made your daughter smile when she has never met her before today. Nobody else had ever achieved that.

Your heart jumps like crazy when you look at Carmilla and notice how she also has a smile to share with your daughter. She smiles indeed, you think. And it is the sincerest smile you've seen in a woman in years. Sincere and beautiful. You do not understand the reason why, but you have to see and to feel Carmilla again. So you girl the hell up and extend your hand to shake hers.

“It has really been a pleasure,” you say.

“A real pleasure,” Carmilla replies with the same smile on her lips, and you're two seconds from passing out right there.

You take Sloan's hand and walk towards your car to make the journey home. Before you reach it, you turn around for a last look and see the other couple walking away from you. You find yourself smiling again.

This has definitely been a very special day.

Chapter Text

Carmilla

You’re dealing with a client when Elsie reminds you that you need to leave if you want to make it on time to your meeting with the school counselor. So you wrap up everything as quickly as you can to make the appointment on time.

When you arrive, Will is sitting outside the office, absorbed in whatever’s on his cell phone. He’s probably sending messages to his latest fling, you think. Beside him, Hayley is reading a book that you recognize as Kipling’s The Jungle Book. Ever since she was a baby, it’s been one of her favorite books, and she enjoys it even more when you read it to her at bedtime.

You sit next to Will after hugging and kissing your daughter. He’s still completely focused on whatever’s happening on his mobile, and you have no intention of interfering with his fun. Besides, you don’t want to disturb your daughter’s reading, so you take out your own phone and start reviewing the emails from the office.

More changes have been requested for the last tourism campaign, two customers have sent you feedback on proposed projects, and there’s some artwork that needs to be amended. That one you decide to take responsibility for, as you can’t trust your subordinates to do that properly.

You’re still going through your emails when you the office door opens, and you hear a voice that sends a shiver down your spine.

“Thank you very much, Perry. Please don’t forget the barbecue this weekend. Danny is excited about the new grill. I think she even purchased an apron and a chef's hat. Tell LaF we hope to have some of their infamous sangria. You can’t miss it.”

“Of course, we’ll be there, dear. Goodbye, Sloan.”

You try not to watch the participants in the conversation because that's rude.

Staring at people for so long is impolite, especially when you probably look like you want to eat the very talkative little blonde. It’s extremely bad manners, you tell yourself.

You try to stop, but you’re failing miserably. Fortunately, the blonde is facing away from you and doesn’t notice.

Sloan walks away from the redhead and over to Hayley who had waved her over to sit beside her. When she does, Hayley begins to read whatever page she was on to Sloan.Sloan smiles shyly at you watching her for a second.

You can almost feel her confusion at all the information that your daughter is imparting to her.

She looks a little different, maybe a little less withdrawn. You’re glad that Hayley can make her feel more at ease.

“Hayley, come in, please,” says the redhead, while watching the office wall-clock and trying to cut off the flow of talk from her friend.

“Sorry Perry, I see you’re very busy. But I’ll see you at the weekend,” says the blonde, giving the psychologist a parting hug.

Will and you get up from your seats and follow Hayley to the office. She placed the book in her backpack after hugging Sloan goodbye.

Now you find yourself facing the blonde, and you try not to look as pleased as you feel at meeting her again. Pleased and happy.

You freeze because the blonde seems to be just as glad to see you and smiles in the way that only she seems to know how. You wonder if it’s the afternoon heat that’s making her cheeks look scarlet.

“Carmilla," smiles Laura, and you try to pretend that you’re unaffected by the way that your name sounds when it slips from her lips.

That your heart does not jump like it wants to spring out of your chest, or that your hands aren’t sweating almost as much as the first time you held your daughter.

“Hi, Laura,” says Hayley, coming forward to talk to her before you can say anything.

“Hi there, Hay. How have you been? Are you still playing basketball with your mom’s friends?”

“Ha! Friends?” says Will suddenly in a mocking tone.

Will is still distracted by his mobile, but he could never pass up the chance to make light of the word "friends" where you’re concerned.

You sigh because you know he will make another snarky comment but thankfully his current fling has sent him another message, and he focuses his attention on his phone again.

“I haven’t, because I’m grounded, so I’m not allowed to go to the agency to play,” replies Hayley sadly. “I’m also not supposed to hit anyone ever again. Mom says it wasn’t bad to defend Sloan, but it was to hit Rudolph. I think she's right. Nothing should be fixed like that.”

Laura looks like her heart just melted, and her reaction causes you to feel the same. It's like a chain reaction, and you don’t even know why.

You try to get yourself together, grateful that Will is so engrossed in his cell than he doesn’t witness what’s happening right in front of him.

“What a pity, Hay. Hopefully, being grounded will be over soon, and you can come to visit our home to play with Sloan. Right, S? We wanted to invite you, but some important things came up at work, and I haven’t had time to prepare something for you to do with us. But I'm sure your mom can make an exception to your punishment and let you come visit us soon.”

“Right, Carm?” she suddenly says to you.

“I…”You’re struck dumb. These two blondes mess with your mind every time they get together; because they can speak far quicker than your brain can process.

Wait. Laura just called you ‘Carm.’

Of course, your stupid heart starts to flutter inside your chest. How can she call you by this endearing and loving nickname when it’s just your second encounter? And now you have a blond duo in front of you with puppy dog eyes watching you as if they had been lost and starving in the woods, and you had the tastiest steak in the world in your hands.

“We'll see,” you finally manage to say after clearing your suddenly very dry throat.

Someone else clears their throat, and you see that the redhead is trying to lead you into her office.

Your daughter gives Laura a hug and runs into the room.

Will raise his eyes and for the first time seems to notice the blonde. Of course, his gaze sweeps over her from head to toe and back again. He says nothing, thank the gods, and enters the office while the redhead is waiting for you to enter as well. But you don’t, so she goes inside and leaves the door open to wait until you’re ready.

“Well, I think I have to go. I suspect I'm going to be more schooled than Hayley. I feel as if my mother’s going to scold me for playing in the rain,” you say.

Laura seems to find this hilarious and laughs out loud. God, that beautiful laughter should be prohibited by law.

“I hope we can get together to arrange the playdate soon,” says Laura when she finally stops.

“Yes, we should definitely hook up soon.” You close your eyes and mentally face palm yourself.

You did it again. ‘We should hook up.’ Honestly, Karnstein? Not that you are opposed to the idea but ... No! What the hell's going through your mind? Stop.

“Like, schedule the play date, I mean,” you try again.

Judging by the crimson cheeks of Laura, you realize the blonde may not have been averse to the idea either. You smile to yourself.

The blonde looks sadly at you when she extends her hand to say goodbye. And there’s that electricity traveling your whole body again.

“We should definitely hook up soon,” she says with a smile.

Was that flirting? No. You refuse to believe that Laura intended to make an innuendo like that.

Before you finally head to the office, you turn your attention towards Sloan.

“The Misfits? Kiddo, you certainly have one of the best musical tastes I've ever seen,” you say as you bend down to get eye level with her.

Sloan lifts her eyes to meet yours and returns the smile on your face. You give her knee a friendly squeeze before you make your way to the school psychologists office. But not before exchanging a look with Laura that leaves her with one those bright smiles that you’re starting to love.

Laura 

You don’t have enough time in the day to take care of Sloan properly. But you’re grateful to have Danny in your life because you honestly don’t know what you’d do without her.

The scandal with the Prime Minister has become a media circus, and as your channel was the first to break the story, this has made you even busier than usual. For the past two weeks, if you ever manage to see your daughter, she’s barely awake after her bath, and you need to put her to bed. Sometimes she’s not even awake when you arrive home.It shouldn’t be like this. You want to be there for her more than you are, but you're also aware that your work plays an important part in your life. But you knew what you were getting into when you decided to take the new position. However, nothing can ever replace those moments that you lose with Sloan.

“How was your day, Hollis?”

“Fine, I guess,” you sigh.

“You guess?” replies Danny from the kitchen where she’s cooking dinner.

You take a seat across from her. The kitchen is another place where you’re a disaster. It's definitely not your thing.

“Danny, do you think I'm a bad mother?” you ask, tentatively.

“Laura, what are you talking about? You’re making halves of yourself to be with Sloan as much as you can. You're always aware of her needs and never miss any of her special occasions. You do everything you can to make her happy. Personally, I still don’t understand why she was so glad that you got her the complete Sex Pistols discography on vinyl. But she looked so thrilled when she received it for her for her birthday. There’s not a day that you don’t tell Sloan that you love her and not a day you don’t prove it to her.”

You smile shyly because you know that at least that much is true. You do everything possible to make your daughter happy even though you don’t always understand her. Nothing will stop you from trying to please her. Even if you had to raise Jim Morrison from the dead, you would do it if Sloan asked you.

“I know, it's just that sometimes I wish I could spend more time with her. I’d love to have a Time-Turner or Tardis so that I could be in two places at once.”

“You're such a nerd, Hollis,” replies Danny, giving you a funny look. You stick out your tongue at her in response for mocking you.

“Thanks, Danny. I really don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Anytime, Laura.” Danny gives you a warm look at the same time putting a bowl of her famous ‘Pasta Lawrence’ in front of you. It’s your favorite, so you don’t say anything else.

You let your taste buds tingle with delight with what the redhead prepared and take a break from your thoughts.

Some days later, you find yourself outside Perry’s office. Sloan has an appointment with her to work on her socialization problems. As the minutes pass, you begin recalling the past few weeks. Since the bullying incident, you’ve been snowed under with work, and you didn’t have time to schedule the playdate with Hayley or her mother. Above all, you want to talk to Carmilla again. Not that you were thinking about the way she looked when you were talking to her daughter. Or how soft her hands felt when they held yours.

Hollis, enough! You are at your child's school. Stop thinking about those things.

Fortunately, Perry peeks through the door and asks you to come inside to speak with you and Sloan.

When the appointment is over, and you leave the office, you remind Perry about the barbecue that weekend at your home. Danny has tried for months to get you to agree to have your friends over for this. She wants to try her culinary arts on the grill, and you finally yielded to her request.

Perry interrupts your rambling, and when you turn, you see Hayley and Carmilla are waiting. But this time, there’s a man accompanying them. You get a heavy feeling in your stomach. Hayley's dad, you think. Typical. It was too good to be true. You smile anyway because no matter what, Hayley still makes you want to hug her… and Carmilla ... maybe she makes you feel the same.

Husband in sight, you remind yourself, and you curb your stupid daydream.

But at least you can still enjoy the view in front of you. So you greet her by name, hoping that will settle you.

Hayley greets you back, and you try to focus on the words coming out of the little girl. You ask about her basketball games with Carmilla’s friends, only to be interrupted by the man.

“Ha! Friends?” He barely glances up from his phone because the beeping sound of a message catches his attention. He seems to be one of those parents that are focused on their work and don’t spend any time with their children. You pray to heaven that you never get to that state. Also, Carmilla looks distressed with the comment of her... husband?

Hayley's voice interrupts your thoughts as she tells you about being grounded for her actions in defending your daughter. You give her a sympathetic smile, and you melt at the little blonde’s mature speech.

You mention the playdate again while putting on your best innocent face to convince Carmilla to lessen Hayley’s punishment and it seems to work. You don’t even look at the father because you're sure he's so attached to his mobile that he’s not even aware of what’s going on around him. He’s obviously one of those parents.

Wait! Did you just call Carmilla, Carm?

Where did that come from, Hollis?

Surely the husband noticed?

Fortunately, he’s still engrossed with his mobile. That was close.

Carmilla says the playdate plan still stands and you breathe a sigh of relief. Not that you want to see her again. Oh, who are you kidding? Of course, you want to see her, but you still think that Hayley is a very positive influence on your daughter and whatever makes Sloan happy, makes you happy.

Especially if it includes seeing Carmilla again.

Perry clears her throat suddenly, and you remember why they’re there.

Hayley embraces you as hard as she can and says goodbye to you before you leave the office.

The man looks at you for the first time, and you almost feel like he’s devouring you with his eyes.

Asshole, you think. How dare to look at you like that in front of his ... wife?

Especially when his wife is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen in your life. Hell, now if Carmilla was your wife ...

Enough!

“Well, I think I have to go. I suspect I'm going to be more schooled than Hayley. I feel as if my mother’s going to scold me for playing in the rain,” Carmilla says.

She points at Perry, and you can’t help but drop another laugh. Of course, you had to get in again with your stupid, ridiculous laugh. Well done, Laura. Ugh!

You try to change the subject so Carmilla wouldn’t have time to make fun of you and you bring up the playdate again.

“We should definitely hook up soon,” you say.

You can perceive how nervous the raven-haired woman gets at the implication of ‘hooking up’ with you and you can’t do anything but smile as you feel the warmth and color in your cheeks grow.

Of course, I would love to ‘hook up’ with you, you find yourself thinking.

Oh God, being so close to this woman makes you think the most awkward things in the world.

She’s a married woman, and you feel excited when she agrees to ‘hook up.' God, Hollis you're hopeless.

To your disappointment, Carmilla corrects her comment. Yeah, you're completely hopeless. But you have to feel Carmilla’s touch again.

Your mind convinces you that you can have it as something platonic. So you extend your hand and say goodbye. When your hands grip hers, it feels comfortably familiar. It’s a firm pressure in your hand, but you almost feel the electricity surges through your body.

You say ‘we definitely should hook up’ and you don’t know where that bravery come from. You only hope Carmilla understands that you’re talking about the play date. She seems to anyway, and you feel relieved.

Carmilla goes on her way, but not before heading over to your daughter to praise her musical taste again.

Your heart sinks a little when you see Sloan getting her attention. It seems that Carmilla is not sort of person who misses the little details, but always refers to the things your daughter wears.

It surprised you ever since their first meeting at the way Carmilla seems to instinctively understand Sloan. Possibly much more than you do.

Sloan smiles in response, and you could die of happiness at that moment. It’s as if is there’s an aura around the pair that makes them understand each other with the bare minimum of words required.

You couldn’t be happier. Or maybe, you can when you notice the same smile on the face of Carmilla.

God, that woman will be the death of you.

Your daughter is still smiling at her.

You smile just because you can.

Carmilla 

Finally, it's Friday. One of the things that you love the most about working in an advertising agency is when Friday comes because it’s customary to leave early.

You have worked so hard during the week to have everything done so that you get out early to pick up Hayley from school.

No wonder your team calls you Genghis Karnstein. It doesn’t bother you much. The work must be done perfectly. As far as you’re concerned, this generation knows nothing about responsibility and obligations.

When you're driving toward your child’s school, you think about the last time you were there and your encounter with Laura and Sloan. Thinking about the duo makes your heart beat faster.

It's strange how Sloan seemed to bond with you. You feel nostalgic every time you see her wearing a shirt from one of your favorite bands. You remember how hard it was for you to fit in with people and perceive something in Sloan that calls out to you. It’s not that you don’t empathize with your daughter, but you often disagree with her opinions. Or rather, how energetically she defends them.

This wanting to be friends with everyone is not a situation to which you're accustomed. Hayley has given you more trouble than you would ever want. Like the time she dragged you to that Harry Potter convention, wearing a full Ravenclaw outfit and you had to be around at least five hundred people holding brooms and dressed in wizard’s robes. But secretly you enjoyed seeing your daughter playing Quidditch with her new ‘friends.' Because the little blonde needs no more than two minutes to meet someone to call them that.

Case in point, Sloan.

After just one day, she was her best friend and had to defend her against the bully who dared to taunt her.

You can almost see your daughter striking the blow in the same way that Laura threatened his mother. Because seeing Laura in action is like watching your own daughter. She calls you ‘Carm’ when she barely knows you, which makes you smile.

When you arrive at school, you can see Hayley run out, with her hand in with Sloan’s. They’re becoming inseparable. Your smile remains on your face nourished by the friendship between your daughter and the tiny black haired girl.

Hayley hugs Sloan who smiles shyly without returning the hug. It doesn’t seem that Hayley minds much either way, you think. Before your daughter gets into the car, you see her greeting someone else, and you look to see who else she’s talking to.

To your surprise, you watch Laura returning the greeting and receiving Sloan with a sincere embrace, in the same way that your daughter said goodbye to her. Again, the little girl only welcomes the gesture and then receives another hug from a very, very, tall redhead who keeps her arm around her until they reach the car.

The smile that was on your lips for several minutes disappears.

Laura and the redhead get into the car, one next to the other. They happily speak with Sloan and then exchange a couple of words between them. Laura laughs. She laughs like she does when you make your snarky remarks because you are close enough to hear her melodious laughter.

But you’re not smiling anymore.

Laura has a wife, a girlfriend, or whatever who makes her laugh like that.

Damn it!

Chapter Text

Laura

It’s Saturday and your first free weekend in ages. But you still had to get up very early to prepare everything for the barbecue. Cleaning and tidying up your home isn’t much fun though. I

It’s not as if your place needs an intervention from Perry, but it was about time to impose some order on the chaotic mess in your house.

Danny is outside in the backyard, preparing to light the grill. It’s one of the redhead’s great passions, and you realize again how lucky you are to have her in your life. Especially as you have no idea how to even light a match.

"Danny, I don’t think I've seen you this excited about something since that time the Summers defeated the Zetas in the Great Pizza Battle.”

"Leave me alone, Hollis. You know you love my food.”

"Oh, yes. I’d never deny that.”

Danny sticks her tongue out in response while pouring so much flammable liquid over the grill that you’re not sure whether she wants to light it or burn down your house.

Sloan is still in her room reading her new book, the same one that she asked you to buy her after the session with Perry. That was the day that you saw Carmilla again. There’s no need to keep thinking about it, but it was still something that happened. "The Jungle Book" now seems to be Sloan’s new favorite book. She had let it slip that it was also Hayley's favorite.

You don’t want to pressurize your daughter into leaving her room, at least not until the guests arrive. You have learned over the years how Sloan works.

Some hours later, your house is full with five red-heads and one tall brunette.

Perry and Lafontaine have been together for years. They met as children, and it was no surprise to anyone when they finally became a couple during their college years. Months after their graduation, they decided to get married. Their children are one year older than Sloan, and although they get along together, they have never really bonded with each other.

Laf and Perry’s children were twins and redheads (obviously). Perry allowed Laf to name them and they chose Darwin and Jean after the famous biologists.

Although they began raising them as non-binary, within years the children were defining themselves. Perry and Laf never put them under any pressure and always accepted their wishes in this regard.

The three of you met in college, and have been inseparable ever since, through the most difficult moments and the happiest ones in your lives.

Sloan finally leaves her room to greet everyone. But it isn’t long before she decides to sit on one of the swings in the backyard and continue reading as the other two kids run energetically around her.

Even with all these people, you find yourself thinking how different it would be if Hayley were there. How wonderful it would be if the small blonde and her mother were there with you.

Immediately you realize you’re kidding yourself. Not because of Hayley, but because Carmilla is obviously a married woman. She was accompanied to the meeting with Perry, and even if they aren’t married, you have to assume that he must be Hayley's father at least.

“Laura. Are you okay?" says Danny, trying to catch your attention.

Even though there’s a party going on around you, you’re still lost in thought. All you can think of is Carmilla.

Carmilla

"I'm bored!”

"Hayley, I have just to update some files, and I'm all yours for the weekend.”

"But I'm bored now!”

"Why don’t you go to the play room while I'm working in my office, Cupcake?”

“There’s no one here! That's boring. When there's nobody here, I can’t play or score baskets because I’m too small, and I can’t reach. No one else is here to help. You never want to play basketball with me.”

Your daughter has a point. You're a mess as it comes to sports. You never found any satisfaction running after a ball without something to motivate you. Baskets, goals, touchdowns, pitches; you don’t know what those terms mean. It’s doubtful whether you’d be able to tell one sport from another if Will wasn’t so fond of them.

But he’s not available this weekend.

Despite what everyone thinks, including you sometimes, your brother actually has a job. He works as an attorney in one of the country’s top law firms. However, you have no idea how successful he'd be if your mother weren't the owner of the law firm where he works.

Your older sister Mattie and Will are in charge off a major case that has kept him out of town for the past few days. Apparently, the Prime Minister’s office has been involved in some shady business, and they’ve taken on the services of your mother's company.

“I’M BORED!”

Your daughter is usually well behaved except when she’s like this. If she can’t find something interesting to do, she becomes a real pain in the ass.

“I’M BOOORED!”

You breathe deeply.

If there’s one thing that Hayley has taught you in all the years that you’ve had her, it’s patience.

Not that you bother using it with anyone else. She’s the only one that you don’t feel like killing when your patience runs out.

“I AM SO BOOOOOREEEEED!”

You count to ten. You keep searching for files on your computer, trying to ignore your daughter’s antics. You know that the more attention she gets, the more you’ll lose your equanimity. You breathe again.

You and Hayley normally spend the weekends together unless you have an emergency in the office, like today. You try to fulfill all her wishes. If the Harry Potter convention didn’t prove how much you love her, perhaps trips to the zoo, to camps or the beach would or even Dr. Who marathons would suffice.

Especially Dr. Who which you hate even more than Harry Potter. But because it’s Hayley you’d tolerate even that to make her happy.

Sometimes you wonder when you let this blonde take over your life. But you already know the answer. It’s been ever since you held her in your arms for the first time and you got lost in her brown eyes. Eyes as deep brown as Laura’s.

Really, Karnstein? Are you daydreaming about the mother of your daughter’s best friend while you’re supposed to be working?

“IIII AAAMMM SOOO BOOOOOREEEEEEED!”

You find yourself wondering what would happen if Laura and Sloan were there too for all the places and conventions Hayley drags you to. Or if you were at the beach, you’d imagine that the two blondes would run together between the waves while playing and chasing each other on the beach. Meanwhile, you and Sloan would sit on the shore reading together and listening to The Doors. You sigh.

Seriously? Yes, because now you sigh when you think about Laura. Of course, it’s useless to indulge any thoughts you have about this beautiful woman. She's a married woman. She went to pick up Sloan with another woman by her side, and they looked too familiar with each other to just be friends. Sloan seemed to know her well. Laura is unavailable.

“I’M GONNA DIE FROM BOREDOM!”

Laura

The party takes goes well, and when night falls, the children go to the living room to watch a Harry Potter marathon. It’s not that the adult conversation is dull, but you’d prefer to be inside watching your favorite movies rather than being outside talking with your friends. It’s supposed to be your free day, and you don't want to think about the weeks of madness ahead of you with the ongoing scandal at the Prime Minister’s office.

You can see your daughter lying down on the floor with Laf and Perry’s kids, but Sloan isn’t paying any attention to the screen. She’s still absorbed in her book. You could never get your daughter to share your enthusiasm for J.K. Rowling’s books. Not even a couple of years ago when you tried to make her believe in magic with an experiment that Lafontaine taught you.

So you’re stuck on the porch instead with your friends, bored with the adult conversation.

Perry is talking about how hard it is to keep children well-behaved at school if their parents don’t put any limits on their behavior at home.

Lafontaine is annoyed on how difficult it is to get permission to do experiments after they blew up the laboratory for the third time this month.

Kirsch is trying to prove that being a teacher of physical education in high school is harder than trying to convince a Summer to accept a compliment without believing it to be a macho demonstration of suppression that women have suffered for too long under the yoke of men.

Danny is arguing Kirsch’s point and adding that it is harder to be an English Literature teacher at the University. Young people today don’t read anything. Or write. According to the redhead, Shakespeare spins in his grave every time her students hand up an atrociously spelled essay.

Typical adult conversations in which you are not remotely interested.

"Who wants more of Lafontaine’s Super Special Sangria?”

"Honey, I think you’ve had enough.”

"It’s okay Perr, I have my favorite designated driver.”

"Then stop encouraging everyone else to drink more.”

"Honey, the kids need to have fun. Look at Laura’s face, it seems she haven’t heard that word in years.”

Lafontaine rises to prepare a pitcher of their special drink, and you laugh at the couple’s dynamic. Albeit it’s at the expense of making fun of you. You try to resist their teasing, but you’ve never could accomplish it.

"I know what fun is!”

"A Harry Potter marathon on a Saturday night is the perfect definition of fun for Laura,” replies Danny, joining in on the teasing.

Great, now everyone’s making fun of your boring life.

“Hey, little nerd! You have to look for more adult fun!”

"Honey, I almost never agree with Wilson, but this time he is right,” says Perry.

"We're old enough for those kinds of things. We have children now, and they are our fun, Kirsch."   

"Laura, I also agree with you on that, but life is more than work and children," replies Perry.

“ I bet Laura would be having fun if her mysterious broody crush were here,” says Danny.

You look at Danny stunned, wondering where she got that idea.

Actually, you do know.

You haven’t stopped talking about Carmilla since you met her.

Starting with the day that you met, you spoke on the phone with Danny about what had happened at school with Sloan. You told her about this amazing blonde girl who had defended your daughter during one of the breaks, but somehow it had ended with you telling her about the girl’s mother. You spoke about how her hair fell like a silky cascade over her shoulders and easy it was to get lost in her eyes.

There was even a description of the way her skin seemed to shine in the sunlight and how her smile made you forget everything else existed, except for her because in the end only she existed.

The following days were no different. You told Danny about the uncanny resemblance between Sloan and Carmilla, not only physically, but in their mannerisms. It was almost as if Sloan was Carmilla’s daughter. It was in the way they shared similar gestures like the way they breathed deeply as if everything around them was out of reach or how they raised one eyebrow and looked at you intensely while searching for an understanding of the world around them.

The day when you came back to find Carmilla outside Perry’s office was mentioned and how easy it was to make her laugh with just one comment. Or the tender side of Carmilla when she approached your daughter to compliment her on her shirt. Or the way her hand was so warm and soft like an angels. Because yes, when you put your mind to it, you can get into that writer mode that can almost create poetry, not that you have to strive too hard because everything about Carmilla is a poem by itself.

Boom! Eat your heart out, Pablo Neruda. You’re just an amateur compared to the great Laura Hollis!

Then there was the day before the party when you had taken time off from all the craziness at work. Danny had finished her classes, and she was to take care of Sloan for the whole afternoon. So, when you called to invite Danny to have lunch with both of you, she gladly accepted. Both of you just had to pick your daughter up from school and go to your favorite restaurant.

When Sloan left the building, she was running with Hayley while holding her hand, something that your little girl never did by herself. Your devotion to the blonde overwhelmed you, and you waved hello to the girl. As you followed her with your eyes, you saw her approaching a car where you recognized the woman of your dreams. You sighed, because every time you see her, you sigh. You gave your daughter a hug and Danny did the same before letting her inside the car, while you ask how her day was. Danny made a silly comment about the color of your cheeks and your heart-eyes as her gaze followed yours. Her teasing ended when she declared that she understood everything.

"Mysterious broody crush?" Perry asks. 

You laugh. But it’s too loud and nervous to fool anyone.

You’re embarrassed to find all eyes on you. It is definitely the last time you talk to Danny about something, no matter how many years of friendship there are between you. She can forget about it forever after putting you in this situation.

"It's nothing. I met a woman who caught my attention. No big deal.”

You try to make the issue seem very reasonable. Anyway, it’s not like Carmilla and you could ever have anything together.

"Where? How? Laura, darling, you have to tell us all the details!” Perry can’t contain her excitement. You almost feel like you’re back in college when you told her about your attraction to Danny.

"In your school.”

You decide to tell the truth because in the end, it doesn’t matter. Anyway, the woman you’re attracted is married or straight at least, and nothing will change that.

“What?"

You do not know if your friends agreed, but Perry and Kirsch shout in unison. Danny is still trying to stop laughing but fails miserably.

"Well, Perry, it’s Carmilla.”

"Hayley's mom?”

"That’s her. But I know that nothing will happen between us. For starters, I know it's silly because I've only met her twice and to hope for something more is the stupidest thing I could think of.”

You say this while trying not to be so disappointed about the fact that the woman you like has a husband.

"And why not?" asks Perry.

"Because I wouldn’t get involved with a married woman. My own life may be a mess, but I’d never mess with someone's marriage.”

Perry throws you a look of utter bewilderment. Kirsch and Danny exchange glances.

"Honey, what are you talking about?”

"Carmilla and her husband. The man who accompanied her on the day of Hayley’s session.”

Perry looks at you like you just say the funniest joke in the world. She’s trying not to laugh at you, but like all your friends, she fails.

"Oh Laura, honey. Will is not Carmilla’s husband.”

“He’s Hayley’s dad?”

"No, he’s Hayley's uncle. Will is Carmilla’s brother.”

You feel your jaw drop. You had been sure that the man with Carmilla and Hayley was related to them but never imagined he was her brother. Or maybe if you had stopped to look past him being an asshole, you’d had noticed the similarities the siblings share. Better yet, how different the blonde was in comparison to them. Anyway, it could be that Carmilla's husband was unable to attend the meeting and went with her brother instead. So you think it's better that you don’t get your hopes up.

"Well anyway, a woman like her wouldn’t be single. Surely Carmilla must have a husband?”

"What Carmilla?”

Lafontaine has returned with a pitcher of sangria in each hand, totally lost by the conversation.

"Carmilla Karnstein.” Perry is still laughing, and so are Danny and Kirsch.

You wish the ground would open up and swallow you. Karnstein? You did not even know what her last name was. Carmilla Karnstein.

"Hold on. Carmilla Karnstein? Carmilla, Carmilla?" asks Laf, giggling while serving drinks to everyone.

"I don’t think we know any other Carmilla, honey.”

"LaF, you know Carmilla?" you ask them, intrigued.

"Carmilla and I attended the same high school. We were even ‘friends’ for a couple of years if you could call it that. When we started college in Silas, each of us went our separate ways.”

Well, tonight is full of surprises, you think.

"And Laura ... she can’t have a husband. Carmilla Karnstein is the gayest person I know.”

Did you think that your jaw couldn’t drop any further? Wrong, Hollis.

Undoubtedly, the night has given you more than you expected.

Something totally unexpected.

Chapter Text

Carmilla

It’s getting late, and you’re still stuck in your office watching the sun gradually set.

At this hour, you’d much prefer to be at home watching Netflix with your daughter rather than being stuck working at your office. Even if you had to go through the sheer torture of watching one of those films of the boy-wizard with the scar on his forehead and his battle with ‘He Who Must Not Be Named.' You've never quite understood why no one could say his name.Voldemort! That’s all it is, it’s not that difficult.

You enjoy your job, maybe you even love it. It would be the best job in the world if you didn't have to deal with some of the imbecilic clients.

A campaign that had been accepted a couple of months ago has been put on hold because the new CEO of Dentifrice wanted to make some last-minute adjustments. Sometimes you think they are determined to ruin your life just for the fun of it.

"I think you and me should go for a drink to relax after all this mess," says Elsie, working beside you on the commercial sequences that were already published.

"Elsie, I thought I made it clear that there’s never going to be anything between you and me. To start with, I'm your boss; I could get fired for that alone. Not to mention that I have no interest in having a relationship with you.”

"It seems that you didn’t say the same to Miss I'm-too-blonde-to-have-brains that appeared in the jeans’ advertising campaign last month," she responds angrily.

You curse yourself for the umpteenth time and wish you hadn’t been so drunk at that party that kissing Elsie seemed like a good idea.

Maybe that's why you refuse to have a serious relationship with a woman. Why should you have to account for your time, or be pestered with questions about everything you do or who you spoke to or looked at that day? You don’t have time for petty relationship jealousies and insecurities.

You’ve already lived through that once.

"Are you insinuating that blondes are brainless? Do you even realize how ironic it is when that offensive remark includes you?" you answer with a smirk.

Elsie frowns and rolls her eyes at your reply and seems to back off. For now, anyway.

Your phone starts ringing, and you can see that it’s your house number. Elsie leaves the office after the interruption.

“Karnstein."

"Why is it every time I call you, I feel like I'm talking to a drill sergeant?”

"What do you want, William? I have a lot of urgent work to do, so get to the point already.”

"Sir, yes Sir! Just calling to report that private Hayley has finished her homework, has had her bath and she is in the living room with me watching her favorite program, Sir.”

"You're really hilarious. Anything else?”

"Sir, yes Sir. I want to know if your ‘urgent work’ is real work or ‘work'?"

You can almost see the air quotes around the word. He’s trying to find out if you are in the office or with one of the models that you usually find in the commercial castings you organize.

He's an idiot, you know, but you couldn’t imagine your life without him. He has played an important part in raising Hayley, and although you’d never admit it, you are so grateful to him. When that tortuous event happened, Will did everything he could to help you through it, including moving closer to you to care for Hayley in your absence.

"It's real work, Will. Unlike you, some people have to actually work for a living.”

"Sir, yes Sir. I was just wondering how much longer it will take you, Lieutenant? I too have a lot of... 'work' tonight.”

"I’d be finished a lot quicker if my stupid brother wasn’t calling to rush me because he wants to sleep with his latest conquest.”

Will just laughs at your reply. He doesn’t even bother denying it.

"I'll be home in about an hour. Would that be convenient for you?" you ask.

You hate the way he falls in love so easily. Not that he's a child, but you're worried that your brother is a soft touch for every woman that he believes he’s in love with. Women always find one way or another to break his heart. Sometimes you think it’s like having a second child. Actually, it is because you practically raised him since your own childhood.

"Sir, yes Sir. That would be the perfect time.”

"Sometimes I don’t know how you can be such a Momma’s boy. Or now that I think about it, I get it. You're an idiot just like Dad was, and we know that Mother has an inherent attraction to idiots.”

"Carmilla, can’t you just forget your hatred for our parents for one day in your life? Dad wasn’t an idiot, he just didn’t know what he wanted in life.”

"Oh, of course! Because leaving a woman with three children when you realized you wanted to travel around the world to find yourself isn’t the most idiotic thing ever. But that certainly makes him the most irresponsible parent ever. You know what that did for him? Killed him while trying to ride a 30-foot wave in Hawaii!”

"Ok, I understand your hatred for irresponsible parents. Please, I don’t want to hear your speech about Mother again. I already know it by heart.”

You close your eyes and take a deep breath to calm the annoyance talking about your parents always causes you. It’s not that you hate them. Your dad was always good to you, playing and laughing; but you never forgave him when he decided to abandon your family. Perhaps Will was right, he was not an idiot, but your brother constantly reminds you of him. He was a child, a child like your brother. A child who never ceased to be one. And talking about your mother ... Best abort the conversation.

"Okay. I will finish up soon so that I can come home in time. Is that all?”

"Sir, yes Sir. No, wait! A woman rang for you too.”

"A woman?”

"A woman. She was looking for you. She said she was… Uhm… Slash's mom?”

“Sloan?"

Suddenly your heart is filled with hope. You realize that it can only be one woman. The woman that you have been secretly thinking about in recent weeks. The one who hasn’t left your mind since your first meeting. But then you remember something else. She’s a married woman! She can’t be looking for anything other than seeking your daughter's friendship for Sloan.

"That's right! Sloan. Where do they get those names for their children? Anyway, she said her name was Laura Hollis. She wanted to know if Hayley could visit her home this weekend to play with her daughter.”

"And what did you say?”

"Sir, I’d never make that decision for you, Sir! I told her that the Lieutenant had to answer that directly.”

Yes, your brother is definitely a child who hasn’t even got over puberty yet.

"Please tell me you didn’t use those words.”

You fear your brother's immaturity made you look as stupid as him, in Laura’s eyes. Laura Hollis. You sigh. Laura.

Laura, the mother of your daughter's best friend, period. That’s all she is, Karnstein.

“Easy there, Kitty. I told her Hayley was still grounded.”

"Stop calling me that. So?”

"Well, I just don’t know what else she actually said because she speaks so fast, but all I could do was give her your mobile number and tell her she would have to talk directly with you.”

"Did you give her my personal number?”

"Yes. She’s the mother of a friend of Hayley, I didn’t think there was a problem. Is there?”

"None whatsoever.”

Laura has your phone number, but she hasn’t called you. Or maybe she has, and you're wasting your time with your useless brother. You start thinking about all the possibilities, like how it would be if Laura were single. Ugh! A woman like Laura could never be single. Anyway, if the woman you saw wasn’t her wife, she’s probably her girlfriend. Or whatever.

“Carmilla?"

“Huh?"

"You’ve gone quiet all of a sudden. Are you okay?”

“Yes."

"Monosyllabic now. Wait! Is she hot?”

“What?"

"Slash's mom.”

“Sloan!"

“Yeah, right. So, answer the question. She is hot, isn’t she?”

“Will, stop it! You’re talking about the mother of Hayley’s best friend. A woman who’s probably married. Will you just grow up!?”

"Ugh! All right. It’s just that you stayed silent when I said who she was and that I gave her your personal number.”

"I am trying to focus on finishing my work, and you’re delaying me. I will be leaving in half an hour, one way or the other. Goodbye, you dimwit.”

"Sir, yes sir. See you later!”

You hang up the phone. But you still can’t focus on anything, except Laura Hollis. At least, not until Elsie enters your office with more coffee in hand and you decide to return your attention to work.

Laura

  "So, what did your mysterious broody lover say?”

"Nothing, Danny. I couldn’t talk to her because her brother Will answered the phone. Apparently, Carmilla had to work late at her office, and she wasn’t home yet. And don’t call her that, Sloan could hear you.”

After a strenuous day at work, you find yourself having dinner at home with Danny. Sloan is listening to music in the playroom while reading her book.

"Laura, there is nothing wrong with being interested in her. Also, you say that Sloan likes your mysterious… uh, ‘Carmilla.’"

Danny glances at Sloan who is so immersed in her reading that the redhead is sure she can’t hear her, but she still lowers her voice so as not to bother you.

“Danny, I’m not going to date her. We haven’t even seen each other for weeks. With all the work I have, I hardly have any time to spend with Sloan. Moreover, what real chance there is of Carmilla having any interest in me?”

You remember the conversation you had with Lafontaine last weekend. Somehow you managed to sneak out for lunch, and you subtly asked them for more information about Carmilla. It seems that Carmilla always had a reputation as a heartbreaker. Apparently, she entertained an incredible number of ‘study buddies’ during high school. But at the start of her graduation year, she began a serious relationship with a girl called Ell.

As far as the redhead knew, the relationship was maintained throughout university. They even heard rumors that they were getting married. Although Perry insisted that the information that the school had was confidential, she confirmed that only Carmilla and Will were listed as emergency contacts. There was nothing about anyone named Ell.

Laf had no idea what had happened because Carmilla had stopped speaking to them while they were studying at Silas. Then you understand why you never knew of the publicist's existence in college. And your friend never knew what had happened to the couple. Laf even suspected Ell had something to do with Carmilla breaking all ties with them.

Either way, Carmilla’s reputation didn’t inspire confidence on the relationship front. But of course, LaF and Carmilla hadn’t spoken for more than ten years, and people can change a lot in that length of time. The woman had a daughter now. She wouldn’t be so irresponsible as to sleep with every woman going. Or would she?

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Hollis. You and I dated, and although it didn’t work out for other reasons, you are a beautiful, smart woman. Any woman would be lucky to have you by her side.”

"Thanks, Danny, but you’re only saying that because you're my friend. And need I remind you that no one has been happy to have me ‘at her side’ for a long time. Do you remember why I decided to have Sloan?”

"Maybe you just haven’t met the right person, Laura.”

“Don’t you think we’re old enough to stop believing in fairy tales?”

Danny gives you a fond look but just shrugs as if she doesn’t want to accept that you’re right.

"Well, what happened to your proposed date with Carmilla?" she teases.

"Ha Ha! Carmilla and I don’t have a date. It’s a playdate between Sloan and Hayley. Besides, I told you she wasn’t home. Will told me I needed to speak with Carmilla and gave me her mobile number. “

You think about what Danny says; an actual date with Carmilla. The thought makes you smile. It would be nice to go out with someone like Carmilla for a change. Actually, it would be nice to date anyone in general. Since Sloan came into your life, you haven’t met many people, mostly because you haven’t given yourself permission to do it. If it was hard enough to meet someone when you were single, it’s even less likely that someone wants to take on baggage that includes a journalist that’s already married to her work and a daughter who barely speaks. In fact, you've already tried.

Danny tried you to set you up one of her friends, a professor from college a few years ago. The first meeting went well until you realized that the redhead forgot to mention you had a daughter, and she freaked out. She lost all interest after that.

“And?"

"And what?”

"Laura, did you call Carmilla?”

“I…"

"Laura, you have the perfect excuse to call her.”

"Danny, my daughter is not an excuse. I don’t have anything to say to her, other than asking her to allow Hayley to come here to play with Sloan.”

"Well, maybe that's the main reason. But if she accepts, you’ll at least see her again. Girl the hell up, Hollis!”

"I don’t know, Danny. Maybe it's better this way. I don’t want to be under any silly illusions. Moreover, I really don’t know enough about her. Maybe I’m building her up to be something she’s not. I love how she gets along with Sloan, but that doesn’t mean that she’s compatible with me. I do not know what sort of person Carmilla Karnstein is.”

"Laura, none of us know the people we’ll fall in love with. Some people even started off by hating each other. I mean, did you ever imagine that Kirsch and I would end up together?" she says, jokingly.

Well, that’s true. You never thought that Danny and Kirsch could end up in a loving relationship after all that hatred they bore towards each other during college. In fact, it took a few years for them to be just friends, then more than friends and now they live together. And they're happy. Like, really happy.

"I understand, but what are the chances that Carm is interested in something more?”

"Carm, eh?”

"Shut up, Lawrence.”

Danny tries not to laugh at the affectionate nickname that you already have imposed on the publicist.

"Call her, Hollis. You have nothing to lose, and you can win a playdate for your daughter. And ... who knows, maybe a date for you.”

You laugh at the insistence of your friend. You know she won’t drop the matter until you promise you’ll call. Not that you don’t want to. Of course, you wish Danny's words would come true, but you are afraid of making a hasty decision. Can Carmilla even see you as anything other than the mother of her daughter's friend?

The sound of a car horn jolts you out of your thoughts and Danny looks out through the front window of your house.

“It’s Kirsch. I gotta go. I have his dinner with me. He must be exhausted from training. See you tomorrow, Hollis.”

Danny takes a container with Kirsch’s meal. You wonder how Danny could have become so domestic and practically a wife. Neither of them ever said that they wanted to formalize the relationship through marriage. But you are almost certain that Kirsch has wanted to do it for years.

Your friend says goodbye to Sloan who’s still deep in her book, and you walk her to the front door.

"Laura, let's just ignore all the corny parts of fairy tales. Call Carmilla, schedule the playdate and at least give yourself a chance to know her better. Maybe it won’t end up like a Hollywood rom-com, but it’s possible that you can at least make a new friend.”

Danny hugs you and makes her way to the car where Kirsch’s waiting for her. She gives you a last wave goodbye, and you return it.

"Call her!" Danny yells while she gets into the car to kiss Kirsch.

Give yourself a chance to know her better? Why not?

Carmilla 

It took you a little longer than you thought to get home to Will and Hayley. Mostly because Elsie continued to badger you about going out together, and it took longer than necessary to finish the final edit of the commercial. You really need to hire a new assistant, but apart from her constant harassment, Elsie is very good at her work.

Your phone starts to ring while you're driving home. Without even looking at the number, you press the car’s bluetooth button to answer.

"What do you want now, you dog-face?”

“Carm?"

Your mind freezes as you turn to the dashboard display of your car and see an unknown number on the screen. Thank goodness you have to stop at an intersection because you're certain that if you’d been driving on the highway, you would have crashed.

So you don’t need Will to make you look like an idiot in front of Laura Hollis; you’re doing a good job of that on your own.

"Laura? I'm sorry. I thought it was my stupid brother again.”

There’s an awkward silence after your apology. It seems eternal until you hear the most beautiful sound you've heard on earth. That laugh. Her laugh.

"Okay. You sound busy. I can call you back later if you want. It's not some big impending emergency. I know you have to work late at the office. Maybe you should keep working. Sorry to interrupt you. I'll call you tomorrow when you're free. Well, not that I think there's a time when you are not busy, but ... “

“Laura?"

“Yes?"

"I'm not busy.”

"Oh, good, good. So you're done working. That's good. It's really late. Although, of course, your job is very demanding. I fully understand. Mine is too.”

God, does she stop to take a breath, you wonder. But you really don’t want her to stop. No matter what she’s saying, you just want to keep listening to that voice.

The traffic light changes to green and your head is still in the clouds listening to your favorite blonde rambling. But the sound of several horns blaring in unison and urging you to hurry up soon brings you back to earth.

"Carm, are you driving?”

Carm? She’s still calling you by that sweet nickname, and you smile stupidly at that. You’re pathetic, Karnstein!

"Uh, yes. I'm heading home.”

"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to distract you. I call you later. When you get home, or you can call me back when you're not busy or when you can. There's no rush. It's not a life or death thing …"

"Cupcake, Cupcake. It’s okay. What do you need?”

You freeze. You just called Laura ‘Cupcake’ without thinking. This woman’s rambling sounds familiar; as familiar as when your daughter does the same thing that makes you affectionately call her the same thing.

Silence. Silence on the line and you're sure that Laura has hung up on you after your brain-fart.You pull in to park at the sidewalk and hit your forehead against the steering wheel to punish yourself for your slip-up.

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”

"Ahm ... Carm?"

You look up at the dash display, and well that’s just great! Laura Hollis hasn’t actually hung up and has heard everything you said.

"Carm, is everything okay?”

"Uh ... yeah. A woman walked out in front of my car, and I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

Laura giggles. That freaking, contagious giggle. You smile again.

"Well, I called because I wanted to know if Hayley was free this weekend to come to our house to play with Sloan.”

Our house. You like how that phrase sounds and imagine how nice it would be if it could be used in another scenario. One in which Laura was referring to a house together with Hayley, Sloan, her and you. You sigh. Until you remember that Laura has a home with Sloan and probably with another annoyingly tall, redheaded woman.

"I think we'd really like that. I mean, Hayley. That Hayley would like that.”

Well, Karnstein. As if you hadn’t put yourself through enough. Please continue, no problem at all. Idiot!

“I’d love to have you with me. That is, both of you, Hayley and you with us. In our home, like Sloan and I.”

You smile even more. Did Laura Hollis just flirt with you? Nah! Carmilla, the blonde is already spoken for.

"Good. What day and what time?”

"Saturday. Eleven in the morning. I’ll text you my address and the directions.”

"Sure. It sounds great. We will be there on Saturday.”

"Thanks for letting Hayley come.”

“It’s no problem. I think she’s been punished enough and has learned her lesson.”

Silence filled the line. This time, you don’t take away your gaze from the display in case you make a fool of yourself in front of Laura Hollis again.

"Good. Until Saturday then. Good night, Carm.”

"Good night, Laura."

Chapter Text

Laura

Once Danny has left, you sit next to Sloan for a few minutes while she’s reading her book. Your daughter snuggles into your embrace, and you remember the first time that she began to read. Your heart melted to see the way she hesitated and stuttered with each word, sometimes only advancing one page per night. But it hurt to know the real reason why Sloan decided at such a young age to read on their own. She had told you a few years later when she could read a book in six or eight weeks. Sloan had learned to read for those nights when you couldn’t get home before it was her bedtime and didn’t want to be a burden on you.

Seeing that the book is about to fall from her hands, you call her gently. There’s no doubt that she’s exhausted, and she should be in bed for some much-needed rest.

When you leave your daughter’s room after tucking her into bed, you start thinking about how different it would be to have someone else with you to share the day with Sloan; all your joys, your sorrows, your worries, your triumphs. It’s true that you have your daughter and your friends, but it isn’t always enough. At the end of the day, you end up sleeping alone in your room without being able to share everything you have within you.

You find yourself thinking that you want to share that with someone special; maybe someone like Carmilla.

She’d understand what being a single mother is like, you think. From all the information you’d managed to find out, it seems that there’s no someone else in Hayley’s life except her.

Although you’re not totally confident that Carmilla is single, you try to hold on to that thought for a little longer. There is nothing wrong with imagining for a second that Hayley lies in the other room sleeping alongside Sloan, as you walk down the hall toward the living room where Carmilla waits for you with her sweet smile.There both of you talk about your respective days at work, your daughters and make love before you both fall asleep entwined together.

Well, Hollis, the first thing you should do to make sure that’s even an option is to call Carmilla. Then you can make an appointment for your daughters to share a fun day together, while you could learn more about the woman that’s been on your mind for weeks.

Taking out your phone and the paper where you wrote down Carmilla’s number, you lose your nerve. But after a few minutes staring at nothing, you remember Danny’s last words 'Call her.’

What the hell, let’s do it.

The phone rings three times, and you realize that you’re biting your nails, something that you hadn’t done for years.

"What do you want now, you rabid dog?”

Carmilla's voice sounds pretty even when she snarls an unexpected insult that you really hope wasn’t aimed at you. You wait a few seconds before answering. And of course, you slip up by calling her ‘Carm’ again.

Carmilla doesn’t answer immediately. There is silence on the line that makes you wonder if calling her was a good idea. But then you hear her voice again, and it sounds incredibly gentle and even a little bit shy. She apologizes for her rudeness and tells you that she thought you were Will. You're an only child, but you've seen many times the way that siblings usually deal with each other. But you have never been lucky enough to experience for yourself the way in which an insult can be equivalent to an ‘I love you.'

You’re silent for a moment by this analysis until you laugh that ridiculous, childish laugh of yours again. It probably sounds even worse over the phone, but there's nothing you can do to stop it.

You try to cover it by talking to her. Or rather, you start to ramble like you always do, and hope you haven’t interrupted Carmilla doing anything important. You intuitively realize that Carmilla is devoted to her work, so now you’re afraid of being a nuisance. The one thing you don’t want is to be a bother to her.

Carmilla interrupts you and assures you that she isn’t too busy to talk. She’s probably just being polite, but it means the world to you.

There’s a faint sound of traffic, and you wonder if Carmilla is driving. The last thing you want is her answering the phone without paying attention to the road. But when she confirms that she’s heading home, your mind takes you to a scene where Carmilla leaves work and heads home to you and the girls. You try to sweep those thoughts from your mind and tell Carmilla you can call later. Then something happens that makes not only your head spin but your whole world.

She calls you 'Cupcake, ' and you can do nothing but bite the back of your hand to keep from squealing with joy. For God’s sake, Hollis! You acting like an excited teenager because her crush has called her a pet name. The way she says it sounds so natural, that it is as if Carmilla has been calling you that for her whole life.  And straightaway, you’re back to thinking about those crazy scenarios where the woman is more than the mother of your daughter’s best friend.

What else can you say after that? Perhaps you do know, but you prefer not say a word because you know that if anything else tries to come out of your mouth, your voice will break completely.

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”

It's the next thing you hear Carmilla saying, and you don’t understand what just happened. You are so engrossed in the way your brain is repeating ‘Cupcake’ over and over again that you don’t have time to think about what is happening on the other end of the line.

You call Carmilla by her nickname while thinking that it's not as cute as the one she has given you. But you like how it sounds, so you dare to say it again and ask if everything is okay.

Carmilla says a woman walked out in front of her car, and that it had given her a bit of a shock. You laugh. You laugh because you can almost see your daughter’s reaction when she cycles in the bikeway down the street when a pedestrian starts walking in it. Carmilla probably looks just as cute as Sloan when she’s frowning.

Finally, you gather your thoughts when you remember why you called Carmilla in the first place.

"Well, I called because I wanted to know if Hayley was free this weekend to come to our house to play with Sloan."

"I think we'd really like that. I mean, Hayley. That she would like that,” replies Carmilla.

You love that she agrees to your proposal and even more pleased to hear that she seems happy with the idea of seeing you.

“I’d love to have you with me. That is, both of you, Hayley and you with us. In our home, like Sloan and me.”

Although you know that what you just said is totally honest, you're not certain how Carmilla would interpret it. So you clarify the comment in your usual awkward manner, promising to forward her your details. She confirms that they’ll be there, and you thank her. She admits that her daughter has probably learned her lesson, and you agree wholeheartedly. Carmilla, you think, is indeed a good mother.

You don’t know what else you can say to that wouldn’t make you, and possibly her, feel awkward, so you wish her good night.

"Goodnight, Laura."

They are the last words you hear from her before she hangs up, and the smile on your face couldn’t be bigger. Closing your eyes, you imagine hearing those words in your ear before bedtime for the rest of your life.

Carmilla

It’s Saturday morning. In a few hours, you’re meeting Laura, and you’re already awake before your alarm sounds. You're not used to waking up at such an insufferable hour on your days off, but the anxiety you feel at the prospect of meeting her again won’t let you sleep until the alarm does go off.

And you wish you could have slept more because now all you do is think about the way that Laura Hollis makes you feel. But that’s not the only thing that occupies your mind. Unfortunately, you’re also dwelling on the fact that the blonde is a married woman or at the very least, is unavailable.

You're excited to see her, but the redhead that you saw with her last time will probably be there too, and you hate that. Maybe it would be better to send Hayley with Will? At least then you wouldn’t have to see Laura next to the Amazon with whom she shares her life.

Really, Karnstein? What's wrong with you? You've never been jealous of anyone, not even her . But you can’t stand the idea of Laura Hollis having someone else in her life. Someone else that’s not you.

Finally, the sound of your alarm goes off; you turn to your right to appease the hellish noise and bury your head in your pillows so as not to wake your daughter up.

"You’re killing me, Hollis!”

Laura

You wonder if Sloan is as excited as you are for today. Maybe she is. No, actually you don’t think so because you hardly slept the whole night. You've been waking up almost every hour on the hour because you’re so anxious.

When you think it’s the right time, you decide to get out of bed and go find your daughter in her room. She's already awake, staring at the ceiling. Slowly you climb into her bed and lie down beside her, stroking her hair with one hand while the other rests under your head. Your gaze is directed towards the same point as your daughter's.

"Mom, do you think Hayley will like our house?” asks your daughter, tentatively.

You've never heard her sound so worried about something, though to be honest, she’s never had to go through this situation. It is the first time that someone outside the family (including your father and your friends with their children) has come to visit Sloan at home.

"Sloan, Hayley’s coming to see you, not the house. No matter what sort of house we have, she'll be happy just to share this day with you."

"Mom, Hayley has shown me pictures of her room. It’s all so yellow and blue. She has tons of Harry Potter stuff, and everything seems so bright. It’s nothing like mine."

"Sloan, Hayley will love your room. Do you know why?”

When your daughter finally turns to look you in the eye, you reply, "Because Hayley loves you. You're her friend, and that's all that matters to her."

Sloan takes a deep breath. Maybe your answer hasn’t entirely convinced her, but you think it's true. Because it's the same way as you feel about your daughter. You and she don’t share a lot of tastes in common, but you love her no matter what.

Sloan's room is a little dark and gloomy for your liking. The only things decorating it are posters of bands that even you have no idea how Sloan managed to learn of their existence. But you still love to be with her in that room, sharing moments like this morning where you can encourage her to say more than more than two words at a time.

"Come on! You have to get up for breakfast and be ready when Hayley and her mother arrive."

You make an attempt to get up when your daughter tugs your shirt to stop you. Pulling you close, Sloan embraces you tightly, something that she hasn’t done in a long time. With that hug, she’s sharing all her fears with you. You answer the embrace with the same impetus letting her know that everything will be okay.

On your part, you have the same fears. You don’t know if Camilla is going to be comfortable in your home or if she would even like it. You get a sick feeling in your stomach at the thought that she won’t.

After breakfast, you ask Sloan what activities she wants to do that day with Hayley, and it’s not at all surprising when your child sighs deeply at the list of choices you've made. But she agreed to some things like watching movies, some from your Harry Potter collection and some from Sloan’s Hitchcock collection. Then you’d order pizza for the four of you; play some video games, go to the park to play with other children and end up with a sleepover.

You not sure if Carmilla will agree to the last part, but do not want to crush Sloan’s hopes. She is more excited than you have ever seen her before. But she doesn’t show it the same way as you do. She squeezes her hands tightly, and her eyes light up at the thought that Hayley would spend the night in your home. Taking a quick look at the clock, you realize that both of them will be here in ten minutes.

Carmilla

"Cupcake, no!”

"But Moooom..."

"We’re not bringing Bagheera, and that’s final."

"But I promised Sloan. Laura said that he could go with us," insists your daughter with a pout.

"Cupcake, your cat is not coming with us, period!"

Laura

You hear the car parking in front of your house, and your hands start to sweat.

Getting up off the couch in the living room, you open the door as you see the maelstrom of love that’s Hayley Karnstein running towards you. Her arms are outstretched as if she hadn’t seen you in years, and she greets you with a hug that makes you stumble on your feet.

"Hi, Laura! Where’s Sloan?”

"Hello there, Hay. Sloan must be in her room. I don’t think she realizes that you’re here yet. Why don’t you surprise her? Go up the stairs, is the second room on the left, the door has a moon with her name on it. "

Hayley nods excitedly, and she loosens the hug to run upstairs and look for your daughter.

You find it odd Hayley has come alone to the door of your house. You begin to worry that Carmilla has only come to drop off her daughter here without even thinking to say hello. But you breathe again when you see her climb slowly out of the car.

For a moment anyway.

She’s dressed in a ripped tight black pair of jeans that fit her legs perfectly and make you want to jump her, a black shirt decorated with moon phases and a leather vest on the same color. The whole look is topped off with aviator sunglasses who make her look incredibly young. You've never seen Carmilla with such a relaxed style, but then again you’ve only met her twice. Both times, she was wearing an expensive looking tailored suit.

The raven-haired woman is holding something in her hands, and at first, you fail to recognize what it is until she draws near you. Then you finally recognize Hayley's pet cat. Carmilla is carrying Bagheera in her arms.

Your smile gets bigger with every step the brunette gets near to you. You can’t help but notice how cute this woman looks with a black kitten in her arms.

"Good morning, Laura. Sorry, Hayley insisted on bringing Bagheera with us. She said that you had given your approval."

"Hey, Carm. Of course, the three of you are always welcome here."

You see a touch of red on Carmilla's cheeks after your statement. So you thought she couldn’t get any more adorable? Wrong again, Hollis.

When Carmilla finally reaches the front door, you freeze because you don’t want to scare Carmilla off. You don’t know whether to shake hands, just say hello, kiss her on the cheek or stay there for a few moments.

She remains still, and you have no idea what to do next. You think you could stay on the porch for hours just looking into her eyes, but Sloan and Hayley have other plans when they run down the stairs.

"Mommy, Mommy, Sloan's room is so cool. She has music posters everywhere. It also has a guitar and a telescope to see the stars. She and Laura made a bed for Bagheera. I want to take him there so he can feel at home."

You see Carmilla withdraw her gaze from your eyes and place the cat in the arms of your daughter who has taken a step towards her.

"Hello, Kiddo. You want to hold him?"

Your daughter nods shyly as she takes the animal in her arms, greeting Carmilla.

"Hey, Carm."

Your gaze wanders between the two of them and you notice a slight smile on both of their faces.

"You're very strong, Kiddo,” Carmilla says, ruffling your daughter's hair, in that characteristic sweet gesture that you’ve grown to love. She always does that to your daughter, and your knees feel a little weaker. You lean on the door to hold you because Sloan always reacts in the same way, accepting it with a smile.

The girls climb back up the stairs vanishing from sight, leaving Carmilla and you in silence again.

"Well, your porch is lovely, Creampuff. But as much as I like it, are we going to stay out here all day?"

You freeze briefly on hearing the new nickname, but you force your body to react appropriately. For some strange reason, it does not sound as nice as the first time when she called you some pastry pet name. Carmilla's attitude has suddenly changed, and you don’t know why.

"Of course not! Forgive my rudeness, come in. We can make iced tea and watch something on Netflix while the girls are playing upstairs or we can talk, or I could leave you alone if you want. Not that we have to stay together throughout the day. For a moment I thought you wouldn’t stay with us, but now since you're here I'd love to spend time with you, that is, talk about the girls, or work, or life. Unless you don’t want to, of course."

"Iced tea is perfect, Buttercup," she replies tersely.

That's not the Carmilla with whom you had met on previous occasions, and even the odd-but-affectionate nicknames don’t sound the same. Usually, they make you feel like there are butterflies in your stomach. You're not so sure you like this change. The woman is giving off a haughty and arrogant aura.

Carmilla sits at the breakfast bar in your kitchen, and while you get the pitcher of iced tea from the refrigerator, you catch her eyes wandering in admiration around your home.

After pouring a couple of glasses for the girls and taking them to Sloan’s room, you return to the kitchen where the Carmilla is still waiting, somewhat impatiently drumming her fingers on the table. If she’s already bored after just a few minutes in your house, you don’t want to know how long the day is going to feel if she keeps behaving like this.

"I hope you like tea."

"I would have preferred coffee, but you don’t look like a coffee person, Cutie."

"What's wrong with you today, Carm?"

"With me? Nothing, Sweetie. I'm perfectly fine."

Nothing that comes out of Carmilla’s mouth makes you feel comfortable this morning. She’s definitely not the woman that you were so hopeful to see. Maybe you were right when you told Danny that you doubted if Carmilla would be even compatible with you.

You can’t kick her out of your house because that would mean that Hayley would have to leave as well. So you huff to soothe your disappointment. You have to be a good hostess to this woman who doesn’t seem so appealing now. Of course, that’s a lie, because she still makes you feel things in unmentionable places, but you’re definitely not going to let them know that. Now, less than ever.

Fortunately, your phone starts ringing, and you make your excuses to Carmilla, apologizing for the interruption.

"Danny!"

"Good morning, Hollis. Just calling to see how your date is, well Sloan’s playdate anyway, is going?”

Danny’s teasing of the supposed love tryst between Carmilla and you, makes you laugh bitterly.

"All good, thanks. You want to come to see us? ... Please, Danny, you have to come. I need you here. Carmilla is being a raging b…. bad person!"

You get up from your seat and walk away to your backyard whispering the second half in case Carmilla heard you.

"What? Laura, what am I to supposed to do? Be a third wheel between your broody lover and you? "

"Please, Dan. If you come, you could stop me killing Carmilla Karnstein. Trust me, I don’t think I can stand today’s jerk face attitude.”

"Okay, okay. I believe that you’re exaggerating, but I’m just dropping Kirsch at the training camp, and I’ll be there after that.”

"Thank you, Danny. You're the best. I love you. Bye,” you say while walking back to the kitchen and talking in a normal tone. You see Carmilla sighing impatiently and rolling her eyes.

God, she’s so annoying. What is the matter with her?!

Chapter Text

Carmilla

After spending all morning trying to decide whether to get Will take Hayley to her playdate with Sloan, you finally decide to do it yourself. Actually, you realized it would have to be you when your brother didn’t reply to any of your messages and phone calls. He’s probably busy with yet another new girlfriend.

SJ has prepared breakfast for Hayley and you. The brunette has been around since your daughter was born. She began working for you after the ‘incident’ and all of you consider her part of the family. She’s the one who keeps your house spotless, and you’re grateful to have her as part of your life because without her in it, your home would look more like a war zone.

"Good morning, SJ."

"Good morning, Carmilla. Good morning, Hayley. " 

"Hello, SJ. Everything smells delicious. You're the best cook in the world! My tummy jumps for    joy every time it smells your food!” 

"Thanks, Hayley,” replied SJ with a smile.

“It’s great that you love my food so much. Carmilla, is Will having breakfast with us this morning?" 

"No, I think he has other plans for today.”

You've always suspected that SJ has a huge crush on your brother although you don’t know if anything ever happened between them. But you hope that if anything does, that Will doesn’t do anything stupid.

Honestly, you're not against the idea. Your brother would be lucky to have a woman as good as SJ in his life for a change.

SJ can’t hide the disappointment on her face, while you decide that it would be insensitive to say that he’s probably bedding yet another girlfriend. For the sake of SJ’s feelings, not to mention your daughter's mental health and your own, it’s preferable to spare everyone the details.

After breakfast SJ begins her weekend cleaning routine and you leave the table with Hayley to prepare for what you feel is going to be the longest day of your life. You’re going to be spending time with the blonde that leaves your mouth dry, the black-haired girl that captivates you with her musical taste and a giant redhead that reminds you of a Groot in autumn.

Well done, Karnstein! This nickname is the best so far. Very mature of you, indeed.

All these thoughts running through your head are freaking you out by the time you finish your shower and sit on the edge of your bed to get dressed. But that’s when your phone distracts you. Taking it from the nightstand next to your bed, you see that it’s Will.

Willyboy: You missing me, pussycat?

Kitty: I survived five years of my life without you. And believe me, they were the happiest of my life.

Willyboy:Your twenty messages and other calls saying that you want to see me say otherwise. What do you need, little sis?

Kitty: I'm older than you, idiot! Hayley needs you to take her to her playdate with Sloan.

Willyboy: Oh! Slash and the mom you like. If that’s the woman we met at Hayley’s school, she’s really hot. Do you have to work?

Kitty: I told you before, it’s Sloan! And no. I just don’t feel like seeing Laura.

Willyboy: You?! You don’t want to see a woman like Laura? I don’t believe you! What's up?

Kitty: I told you already, Will. I don’t want to see her.

Willyboy: Ah! Wait, now I understand. It’s the wife you’re avoiding. Look, I’d help you out, but right now I have breakfast ready, and I don’t mean food.

Kitty: Will! Gross!

Willyboy: Everything I know about treating women, I learned from you. But seriously Carmilla, I can’t help you today. I promised Mother I’d meet her for lunch.

Kitty: Fine, Mama’s boy. Enjoy your meal dimwit and I don’t mean mother’s lunch.

Willyboy: Kitty, you have nothing to worry about. Look, she may be married or whatever, but that doesn’t mean you should treat her any differently from all the other woman you've known. You're Carmilla ‘Lady-Killer’ Karnstein! Why should it be different with Laura?

Kitty: Yeah! That’s my name. Thanks, asshole. We love you. Have fun.

As much as you hate admitting it, Will’s right. Laura is just another woman; you don’t have to act differently with her. Okay, you feel things that none of the other women you've met in your life have made you feel. Not even her.

You have had enough experience with women in your life to be upfront that you are not interested in anything other than spending a night with them. That was mostly back in your high school days before meeting your ex, with whom you had a long and monogamous relationship, although she never wanted to acknowledge it.

After you had Hayley, you never wanted to have a serious relationship. Your daughter is priorities number one, two and three in your life. There’s no way that you're getting involved with someone or in something that will hurt her in the long term. If it was just you, then you could handle another breakup or separation, but not when your daughter’s wellbeing is also involved.

But occasionally you give yourself permission to return to your old ways of champagne and seduction eyes for old times sake. It’s usually with the advertising models that you deal with at work and only when you're sure that they won’t be hanging around.

After deciding that Will has a point, you decide to dress the way you normally do for your casual dating. Jeans, shirt, your leather vest, all topped off with your sunglasses.

So much for trying to dissuade Hayley from taking Bagheera with her to Sloan’s house. You still can’t say no to your daughter. Now all three of you are in the car for the trip to the happy couple’s home.

When you finally arrive at their house, your daughter can’t restrain herself and jumps out of your car to run and hug Laura at the front door. Laura is smiling that special smile of hers that you’re sure will kill you one of these days. But it would be so worth it.

While waiting in the car for a few minutes, you’re considering how odd it is that only Laura is there to welcome you. Maybe the wife isn’t there right now because she had to work or perhaps she’s inside the house. Maybe she’s just her girlfriend, and she doesn’t live with them. Or else you’re being stupid and overthinking this. Just be thankful that she’s not around at the moment and that you don’t have to deal with the fact that Laura is off limits, for now anyway. She’s still waiting for you, and you take a deep breath before getting out of the car with Bagheera in your hands.

You can do this Karnstein!

Laura is dressed casually in a pair of jeans that perfectly accentuate her figure and a somewhat short shirt that reveals part of her shapely firm stomach. You can almost sense how soft the skin there is. Behave! The only Lady-Killer here is you.

Laura is giving you a run for your money with that outfit, though. Her hair is up in a ponytail that makes her look much younger than she is. The way her face is illuminated by the morning sun makes you wish that you could wake beside her early every morning just to see that face.

No! You can’t think like that. This woman will never be yours.

You walk in with her, and you notice Laura’s every little action. She's breathtaking.

After saying good morning and apologizing for your daughter's cat, her face lights up, and she welcomes the three of you while calling you by that pet name again.

When you’re inside the house, you don’t know how to approach the situation. Even if you manage to check out the house and find no trace of the redhead, you don’t want to do anything that’ll ruin your game.

Your daughter and Sloan run downstairs to ask for the cat, and you give him to Sloan while saying hi to her for the first time that day. She calls you by the same loving name Laura does, and you can’t stop the smile that fills your face. It warms your heart the way that the pair of them welcome both of you into their home. How you wish it could be Hayley’s and yours too.

Stop daydreaming, Carmilla!

The girls return to Sloan’s room with Bagheera, leaving you alone with Laura, and you’re temporarily at a loss for what to do next. But before long, you start acting like you do with nearly every other woman you know.

You smirk as if you were with one of your ‘work buddies’ and you can see how this act affects the blonde; you’re not sure if it’s something good or not, though. Well, whatever, Karnstein, you don’t need to be worried about what Laura thinks of you. That’s the whole point of this.

When Laura disappears from your sight to take some iced tea to the girls, you check the ground floor. The Amazon doesn’t seem to be here, but you’re still not certain.

Laura's house is comfortable and cozy, possibly not as tidy as yours but you know that's because of SJ’s hard work. If it were left up to you, chaos would reign in your apartment. But here, you feel that Laura’s house is bathed in a loving, homely atmosphere.

Laura returns, and you try to act aloof and distant with her. She notices it immediately, and you’re surprised that she recognizes the change in you after only a couple of meetings between the pair of you. You want to apologize for your behavior and treat her like before. She deserves better. But like a sign from heaven, Laura receives a call. Just from the smile on her face, you understand that this is from the redhead and frown when you think Laura isn’t watching.

You hear Laura saying ‘Danny’ to the woman, and there’s nothing you can do to feel at ease in the blonde’s kitchen as she gets a call from her female ‘knight in shining armor.’

Laura laughs when she leaves the kitchen to go out and take the call in her garden. She laughs again at something you can’t hear and your stomach sinks, feeling as if you’re about to throw up the breakfast that SJ had prepared for you that morning.

After a few minutes, Laura is back, smiling, giggling and saying goodbye affectionately to Clifford. Your mind is proud of your sarcasm, but your stomach is sickened by the scene you’ve just witnessed. The blonde says an ‘I love you’ and now the sick feeling seems to spread to your chest where you imagine your heart would be. But there’s an only empty space there because Laura is a woman that will never be yours.

You sign resignedly. Laura Hollis is not meant for you.

Laura

After Danny’s call, Carmilla seems to become even more distant and almost harsh with you. There are no warm looks and shy half smiles today. All that remains now is pure sarcasm and a smirk that makes you want to smack her and not in the fun enjoyable way but to really let loose and slap that sneer from her face.

You try to keep up a friendly conversation with her, but Carmilla spends most of the time on her phone. Judging by her smile, she’s texting what seem to be increasingly flirtatious messages. She’s paying a lot more attention to whoever it is than anything you’re saying. You’re not trying to pry, but you manage to see the recipient is named Elsie.

Your heart breaks a little, not just from realizing that Carmilla’s not as interested in you as she is in this woman, but because you had really high expectations of this whole day. Now it seems to be turning into the play date from hell. It’s hard to believe that this woman is the same one that made you feel things that you never felt with anyone else.

And that’s just great, now she’s now texting to someone else, someone called 'Mattie.' Another woman, perfect. This day is just perfect! Hollis, you were crazy if you thought you could have any chance of a real relationship with this infuriating woman. It’d be preferable hanging out with that creepy dude at the station that’s always flirting with you and regularly inviting you to go out for a drink after work. You think he must be the most clueless man in the world if he hadn’t noticed at this stage how gay you were. But right now, you’d rather go out with him for that drink than ask Carmilla for a real date.

Carmilla receives a call, and now she’s talking to someone called 'SJ.' That stupid grin gets even wider on her face, and you feel that you’ve already had enough. Lafontaine was right. Carmilla was a player, and she hasn’t changed one bit. No wonder her former girlfriend never married her, you think. She’s insufferable.

Carmilla giggles freely with the woman on the phone line, and you just want to kill the woman. It’s just a question of which one first, the one in front of you or to the one on the other end of the line.

Hollis, stop! You can’t be jealous of someone you don’t even know.

Carmilla turns to see you and smirks as she says goodbye to the woman affectionately.

No. Definitely, you could never fall in love with Carmilla.

Worst crush ever.

Carmilla

When Laura returns from her call, you act all disaffected as if anything you heard hadn’t got on your nerves. But it did. However, you refuse to admit this. So you message Elsie about work stuff, and you laugh as if 'Carmilla, I already told you yesterday that the final proposal for the new sports brand campaign is on your desk'  was the most flirtatious message that could be shared with a woman.

Laura seems uncomfortable. You can clearly see it on her face, and for a moment you wonder what you’re trying to achieve by continuing with this. Then you remember the 'I love you' that the redhead got, and that makes your mind up for you.

After the seventh meaningless message, Elsie decides that she has had enough of your work-related messages on Saturdays and sends one that says 'Go to hell Carmilla, I have a huge hangover here, see you on Monday!' and you smile at your mobile as if you were sexting.

But there’s nothing more to say, and while Laura rambles on about things like your daughter’s school, you try and pay attention. But it’s hard when you can’t help staring at her lips and wondering what they’d taste like. The thing is, you really want to find out. So in desperation, you text your older sister.

You've never been as close to her as you are with Will. When your father left, your elder sister was already a teenager with her own problems. As soon as she was old enough, she went to college and left you and Will alone with your mother, even though she knew how it would affect you.

But now you need to continue with your plan. It’s the right choice, you try and insist to yourself.

You text Mattie asking about the political case because it’s the only thing you can think of when you’re writing. Will hasn’t stopped talking about it in recent weeks.

Your sister answered with a simple ‘Carmilla, is this you?' And you laugh again, trying to make it look like a casual flirtation. When you reassure Mattie that’s it’s really you, your sister replies with an 'Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve never been remotely interested in anything related to Mother’s business’. So you laugh loudly and smirk at Laura to make her believe you're seducing another woman.

Laura leans a little towards you, and you accidentally-on-purpose let her see your sister's name on the screen of your cell phone. She tenses a little, and her face scrunches up in anger.

Just as Mattie is ending her conversation with you, miraculously SJ calls you to confirm that she’s locking up the house and leaving. You couldn’t be more pleased with how things are playing out so far. 

"Hello, SJ. Is there 'something' I can help you with, cutie?” you drawl suggestively while watching Laura’s mouth fall open in disbelief and look away. 

“Cutie? Oh, my God! Carmilla, you’re with a woman, right?” SJ giggles. She knows you and knows what you’re like when you're trying to charm a woman out of her clothes, only this time it’s different. You’re not trying to seduce Laura. What would you do if you’d thought you’d have half a chance of it? Well, it doesn’t matter because you don’t even have that. And in fact, you wouldn’t be anything like this. Not for Laura Hollis. Things with Laura would be different. You’d invite her to go out with you on a real date. Then you’d bring her to dinner and treat her as she deserves with courtesy and manners, just like one of those Jane Austen novels you read as a teenager. Because Laura Hollis can only remind you of Lizzy Bennett and you swear you'd die to be her ‘Mr. Darcy’. You’re such a sap, she already has someone, and you can only walk in the rain without the heroine of the book in your arms. 

“Carmilla, if you want to sleep with someone, you don’t need to do this and if you want to date her, just tell her. Do us both a favor and just ask her already,” says an exasperated SJ.

You laugh really loud because you can only imagine how funny SJ would find your dilemma that the woman you want is not as single as you wish. 

“Ok, fine. I see you on Monday, Cutie,” you end up saying and hang up the call with SJ laughing after your last comment.

You’re pretty sure it’s mission accomplished after that until you hear the front door open, and none other than the redhead makes an unwelcome appearance.

"Danny!" says Laura, happily. 

"Good morning, Laur.”

You grind your teeth as your skin crawls in the Amazon’s presence. At this very moment, you feel like Bagheera when he’s acting territorial and alert to danger. Which is stupid because Laura Hollis is not your property, this house is not your territory, and the giant is not the intruder here. You are.

You hope against hope that the woman doesn’t kiss Laura in front of you. You even pray to the heavens to have mercy on your soul before realizing that Karma is a bitch, and she probably hates you anyway.

The redhead comes into the kitchen and gives Laura a big hug. It’s the sort of hug you wish you had got when you arrived this morning. Then you hear both your daughters running down the stairs.... her daughter and yours. Stop thinking like an idiot, Karnstein! Sloan isn’t yours, and this is not the right time.

The girls run into the kitchen, and the redhead greets Sloan who gives her a quick wave. 

“Hi, Aunt Danny," she says.This is just great. The redhead has come and ... Wait.

Aunt? Aunt Danny? The name reverberates in your mind. What the hell? 

"Hayley, Carmilla. I want to introduce you to my best friend, Danny Lawrence," says Laura who’s all smiles.

Best friend? Danny, the big red beanpole is only Laura’s best friend.

To the puzzlement of everyone in the room, a huge sigh of relief escapes from your lips.

Chapter Text

Laura

Danny is a godsend because if you had to spend any more time alone with Carmilla, things could have gotten ugly.

You hug her so that you can regain your composure and help calm the anger you feel. The girls’ come downstairs and Danny greets your daughter who gives her usual mumbled reply.

Standing beside Danny, you introduce her to Carmilla and Hayley.

Carmilla sigh of relief is a little weird, though. What the hell is that about?

But she recomposes herself while Danny holds her hand out, which Carmilla shakes as if afraid that your friend has some sort of contagious disease.

She says her name and, as always, the little ball of enthusiasm that is Hayley approaches to greet the redhead.

“Mom, we’re hungry,” s ays Hayley suddenly, addressing Carmilla. Her mother looks at her without saying a word, and when she turns around, you notice that spark in her eyes is back. Her look has softened, almost like the time when you two first meet each other.  You are not sure what just happened, but she seems more relaxed, and she’s smiling again.

God, it’s beautiful.

Once again, your legs feel weak when you lock eyes with Carmilla. You don’t know how much time has passed, but when you hear the TV, you realize that Danny and the two girls have moved out to the living room. As usual, you daughter has a book in her hands. Danny clears her throat and says something your brain doesn’t quite catch because you’re lost in Carmilla’s eyes.

No, you’re not doing this. You can’t be with a woman who seems to get more text messages and calls than the city’s emergency service. You readjust your thoughts and tear away your eyes from Carmilla.

“I’m sorry, Danny. What did you say?”

“Uhm, Hollis. I was asking if you had something I can cook for the girls or what are they eating?

“Eat, right. Girls. Yes, uhm… I was planning on ordering pizza. Is that okay with you, Carm?”

You look at the brunette with a slight smile on your lips and hide it immediately. Are you for real, Hollis? Carmilla gazes at you for a second, and you feel yourself melting again.

No, this cannot happen.

“Yes, pizza!” Hayley yells from her seat and claps vigorously while trying to encourage your daughter to join in, but Sloan just shrugs her shoulders. It’s become a habit of hers when she accedes to the blonde’s wishes.

“Perfect, I think I’ll order one for myself too,” replies Danny with a laugh, while you place the order with the pizzeria.

After arguing for a few minutes, you choose to order different pizzas. Sloan orders her usual pepperoni because she doesn’t like to try new foods and Carmilla offers to share with her.   Danny decides to order one with every type of cold meat available on the menu and take the leftovers home for Kirsch. You and Hayley opt for a sweet pizza because the restaurant offers that option; so both of you create a pizza with cream cheese, chocolate, banana and peanut butter. Carmilla and Sloan have the exact same disgusted expression when they hear Hayley and you selecting the ingredients. You’re not sure if Carmilla approves of Hayley eating a pizza like that, but at least she doesn’t disagree, which is a good sign.

When you are about to eat together in your living room, Danny gets a call from Kirsch. It seems that he hurt his shoulder while trying to block one of his students in football practice and now he’s resting at home. Danny apologizes for leaving and takes her pizza with her. As soon as your friend leaves the house, you notice that Carmilla seems a lot more relaxed. This puts you more at ease too.

There are only the four of you now. You let them know you’re going to the kitchen to make some iced tea to go with the food.

“Hey, Laura, can I help? I have an awesome idea. I know how to make the best lemonade in the world. Right, mom?” Hayley shouts excitedly as she gets up from her seat, but not without checking for her approval. Which Carmilla gives without a second thought, nodding.

Both of you have fun making the beverage, and it feels like the most natural thing in the world as if the pair of you had done this countless times. You help Hayley to climb up the chair so that she can reach the ingredients.

“You’re going to love my secret recipe, Laur” declares Hayley and you feel your heart melting at the pet name she has given you.

“I’m sure I will, Hayley ” you reply, giving her one of your biggest smiles while hugging her, which she happily returns.

When it’s finally ready, you assure Hayley that it is indeed the best lemonade you have ever tried. Probably is because it contains a lot of sugar, just the way you like it.

“Wow, Hay! This is truly delicious. Did you mom teach you this recipe?” you ask

“No, this is SJ’s secret recipe. She taught me how to make it by myself when she’s not at home.”

The smile you had since the beginning of the lemonade making process, fades away. SJ; that’s the woman Carmilla was talking to this morning. You hesitate for a moment, but you need to know more about this woman, and you don’t know why. Ok, fine, you do know why. You want to know more about Carmilla and her life. You need to know if what LaFontaine told you about her is true. Is there someone else in Carmilla’s life?

“Uhm… Hayley, is SJ your mom’s girlfriend?”

Hayley laughs keenly at your question. Almost as keenly as you laugh and you blush because she makes you feel like you've asked the most ridiculous question ever.

“No, silly. SJ is our housekeeper, although she’s really more of a friend. She’s the one who always takes care of us. Sometimes she takes care of me when Mom or Uncle Will can’t. She makes us delicious food and the best breakfasts ever. You have to try her Belgian waffles, they’re my favorite. They are fluffy and delicious. I think they are my mom’s favorite too.”

You breathe a sigh of relief after Hayley’s explanation. At least now you know she’s not Carmilla’s girlfriend. Then you remember the way she spoke to SJ on the phone. Perhaps there’s something going on between Carmilla and SJ that Hayley doesn’t realize? Would she be capable of sleeping with her housekeeper and hiding it from Hayley? Not that you’re not one to judge, but part of you doesn’t want to believe that she’d do something like that.

You want to believe Carmilla is different.

You let the subject be for a moment before it drives you crazy. Stop overthinking this, Laura! What difference does it make if Carmilla has a girlfriend or whether she’s bedding the housekeeper? So what if she’s a lady killer? Being interested in you is not even an option. She has shown you that with her flippant attitude this morning. Why would she let you witness how popular she is with other women if she was really interested in you?

What kind of idiot would do something like that?

Carmilla

Hayley runs to help Laura make her special lemonade in the kitchen and leaves you alone in the living room with Sloan.

For the first few of minutes, there’s only silence; neither of you makes any attempt to talk to each other. From time to time, both of you glance at Hayley and Laura working together in the dining area.

Sloan is absorbed in her book, and you can tell from the cover that it’s the same book your daughter proclaims to be her favorite. You smile and suspect the little girl knows that and that’s the reason she’s reading it. You smile because you're convinced that Sloan would do anything to make your daughter happy.

“Hey, kiddo. How’s the book?” you ask.

Sloan looks up and shrugs, a gesture you interpret as a “not bad.” You don’t know if she wants to share some more. Both of you look at the blondes when you hear your daughter’s laugh, and you notice that Laura is blushing furiously.

You and Sloan share a surprised look as you shrug at the same time, both of you equally bemused.

After a couple of minutes, you move closer to Sloan who’s still reading.

‘Oppress not the cubs of the stranger, but hail them as Sister and Brother,

For though they are little and fubsy, it may be the Bear is their mother '

It’s one of Hayley’s favorite phrases that you’re quoting to Sloan You truly believe it sums up your daughter’s instinct to defend the weak with everything she’s got, especially when she stood up for Sloan after she had only known her for a few minutes.

Sloan looks up, smiling shyly. But it’s gone as quick as it appeared.

“It’s Hayley’s favorite quote,” you explain, and her smile seems to light up her face when she understands.

“My favorite one is ‘My heart is heavy with the things I do not understand’ near the end,” she replies quietly.

Sloan fascinates you. You don’t know why, but you want to understand her better.  So, you rise from your seat and indicate that you want to sit beside her. She nods, and both of you start to chat about the book. Apparently, this is the third time she’s read it in the short time she’s had it.

“What would you like to understand the most, Sloan ?” you ask after spending a few minutes discussing the story with her, trying to understand what meaning she takes from that particular phrase.

For a moment, her shoulders tense, but eventually you can see her loosening up a bit, although her gaze is still directed at the floor.

“Why am I so different from everyone else?” she replies with the faintest voice, and you freeze for a moment. You are not sure how to respond.

“Do you think being different is bad, Sloan?”

“People don’t like it. Sometimes it makes it hard to live up to people’s expectations of you.”

Your heart breaks at the fragility this girl is showing.  Normally, this only happens with your daughter. You do not comprehend how you feel such a bond with Sloan when you hardly know her, yet the most shocking thing is that you understand what she’s trying to communicate with those words. It’s not just about the hardship of trying to live up to other people’s expectations, but the crushing failure you feel when you don’t.

“Sloan, people can be a real pain in the ‘ass,'” you reply, lowering your voice at the last word, as you’re not sure how accepting Laura would be with you using that kind of language in front of her daughter. Come on, you don’t even use it in front of yours, but you feel that Sloan is different. She would know exactly what you mean.

Sloan giggles slightly and you continue. “You shouldn’t worry about pleasing others Sloan because those that matter, don’t mind and those that mind, don’t matter.”

“Did you just quote Dr. Seuss, Carm ?” replies Sloan with a teasing smile and raising one eyebrow.

For a moment you’re stunned by the girl’s response, yet at the same time, you are moved because she keeps using that nickname her mother gave you. That couple has stolen your heart since you met them. Your heart? Oh, come on, Karnstein! What is it with this pair that makes you think the cheesiest things? You could throw up. Stop, please.

“Well, only someone who has read Hayley’s books would know that ,” you reply with a grin. Sloan’s cheeks turn crimson while trying to hide her embarrassed face in her hoodie.

Busted.

You shift closer getting comfortable on the sofa next to her and play with her hair as you burst into laughter.

Laura

Hayley helps you out by carrying a tray with four glasses while you carry the full jug of lemonade she made.

Carmilla is sitting next to your daughter on the sofa, both of them laughing. You’re so surprised that you almost trip over your own feet and drop the lemonade, but somehow you manage to catch it. Perfect, Hollis; you’re about as graceful as a baby elephant. But thankfully no one seems to have noticed your clumsiness. Well saved!

You’ve never heard Carmilla laugh before, and it’s more beautiful than you could possibly have imagined. Her husky but delicate voice seems to reverberate through your mind. You feel like engraving her laugh in your mind forever. It’s a melody you crave to hear over and over again.

Sloan is laughing so familiarly with Carmilla that it’s as if they’d known each other for years, almost as if they were mother and daughter.

Laura Hollis, again with those useless thoughts? The only mother Sloan has is you. Stop it right now!

Carmilla makes herself more comfortable on the sofa while caressing your daughter’s hair and placing her arm behind her in a protective manner. Hayley sits on the other sofa and invites you to sit next to her, letting Carmilla and Sloan share the other one.

You’re eating the pizzas while watching ‘Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban’ on Blu-Ray. You and Hayley steal a couple of slices of pepperoni pizza from the other two and stick your tongues out at them when they protest. But they don’t stop you either and never complain.

You try to focus on the movie but can’t help noticing from the corner of your eye how both of them eat their pizza the same way, taking it out of the box slice by slice to eat the pepperonis first before proceeding to eat the rest. Meanwhile, you and Hayley have messy faces from eating your own portions, and your fingers are still sticky from the chocolate and other sweet toppings, despite all the napkins both of you have already used.

When you’re done eating, you choose to take a couple of blankets from your closet to share. You sit next to Hayley and offer the other blanket to Carmilla, who takes it to cover Sloan.

It’s amazing the way your daughter cuddles closer to Carmilla, who places her arm around the little girl to wrap the blanket around them. You do the same with Hayley, hugging her close with the blanket wrapped around you while watching the movie.

Carmilla looks at you and smiles. You smile too and think how pleasant it is to be home with this pair, sharing everything and nothing at the same time.

Arranging this date ( play date Hollis! ) with Carmilla was a good idea after all.

Chapter Text

Carmilla

You walk through a hallway that you recognize as part of ‘that’ house. This isn’t the first time you’ve been here, but for several years it was always with ‘her.' You need to get to the room at the end of the corridor, but the harder you try, the further it moves away. The desire to run, to reach that room and open that door is overwhelming, but to your despair, your legs refuse to obey you.  

On the other side of the door, you can hear a desolate wail. It’s a baby’s cry, acute and penetrating. You try to force your body to move, but it refuses to respond. The crying continues to increase in volume. You must get to the child. You must.

A blonde woman slowly steps in front of the door. You can’t see her face, but you know exactly who she is. She has her back turned to you. Just like the last time.

She reaches out and takes the doorknob between one of her hands, ready to open it. That’s when you finally find your voice.

Ell!

You want to run but not to her. It’s because the crying is heartbreaking and never-ending. There is nothing you desire more in the world than the crying stop. That the pain stops.

This time though, there’s a hand on your shoulder that pulls you out of the hallway, and you’re helpless as it leads you out of the house.

The air outside is a mix of your favorite fragrances; a miscellany of freshly brewed coffee, soil after rainfall, old books and also an indefinable something you fail to recognize but that pervades your entire being. Whatever it is, you could get used to it.

The crying begins to ease and gradually begins to fade away.

But that hand on your shoulder still feels too real to be a dream. Then the sweetest voice you’ve ever heard calls out your name. It’s so tender and makes you feel so secure.

"Carmilla." "Cupcake?"

"Carmilla? Carmilla! Carmilla!!"

"Cupcake, I love you, I'm never going to leave you."

"Carm, wake up!"

It’s the nickname that brings you back to reality. No one else calls you that. Or rather, you have never allowed anyone else to call you that.

Little by little, you open your eyes to allow them to get used to the light in the room. You don’t recognize it yet, but you feel at ease here.

Your mind must still be playing tricks on you, because of the most perfect vision there, right in front of you.

This must be a dream. But it feels so real.

The honey-blonde hair, the glowing skin and that smile that sends a shiver down the spine can only belong to an angel. You have to be still dreaming, right?

You raise a hand to toward the vision and to your surprise, one of your cold hands touches her cheek. It feels warm to the touch and the longer you leave it there, the warmer it seems to get.

The smile becomes wider, and it feels like your heart is about to leap out of your chest. A hand rests on yours making it beat even faster if that was possible. You feel as if your whole body is on fire.

"Hey.”

"Hey."

The gentle almost whispered reply calms you down for a moment. Only for a moment though because then your mind catches up with the signals that your body is sending you and you realize that you’re awake.

Before your eyes is Laura, Laura Hollis, gently stroking your hand and leaning into your touch.

Quickly you withdraw your hand from her cheek and try to rise, almost knocking her over in the process.

"Carm, are you okay?"

"Yes, Cup… Laura. Yes, I’m fine."

"It looked like you had a bad dream. Are you sure that you’re all right?"

"Of course. I'm sorry I fell asleep."

"No need to apologize, but I was getting worried listening to you. You seemed distressed and were on the verge of crying. I guess it was a nightmare. At first, I didn’t want to wake you because you looked so peaceful. Not that I was staring or anything! But… I… I mean… you were here and I…"

You try to hide the smirk at the blonde's babbling and notice that she’s blushing even more if that was possible. But it’s a lost cause as you can't help smiling at her.

"I’m sorry I fell asleep on you Laura. Where are the girls?"

You change the subject to allow the blond to compose herself. Also, even though you refuse to admit it, the moment you just have shared with Laura Hollis has left you breathless.

"Don’t worry, Carm. We all took a nap. The girls woke up a few minutes after me and went upstairs to feed Bagheera”.

Once again, the nickname makes your stomach flutter.

You make yourself more comfortable on the couch as you take in this new information, but you can't think of anything to say. Besides, there’s nothing more interesting in this room than Laura.

Laura, who is currently is sitting on the edge of the armchair with her hands on her lap, gazing at you with a concerned expression. She’s is the first to break the silence.

"Ahm… I can prepare coffee if you want. We could have a cup and just talk if it's okay with you? Or not, if you don't want to. Only this morning, you mentioned that you liked coffee and I thought it was a good idea and…"

"I think I would like that very much," you answer with a smile.

Passing one of your hands through your hair, you realize it must be a disaster at this stage. Your appearance after waking up from your recurring nightmare can’t be the most attractive.

"I just need to wash my face to freshen up, and my hair is probably a mess. I must look gross."

"No! I mean, you look beautiful, as always. I mean, you look fine. That is to say, yes. Not that you look terrible. I mean, yes, you can use the upstairs bathroom if you need it.  Isn't that what you meant because you don't need... Well, I don't know…. The bathroom is the first door to the right.”

She’s rambling again.  It’s possibly the most charming thing you’ve ever seen when she gets nervous and talks non-stop.

Wait, did she just tell you that you’re beautiful? Laura Hollis just gave you a compliment.

Just accept the compliment. Say something Carmilla! Damn it, react!

"I have to go to the bathroom."

What the frilly hell, Karnstein! Is that the best you can do?

It seems so as you make your way to the bathroom. Laura Hollis tells you that you look beautiful and you flee from her as if you were a teenager in the midst of puberty when your crush finally notices you. Where’s the renowned publicist Carmilla Karnstein, business woman of the year, mother and lady killer extraordinaire? All these qualities fly out the window as soon as the blond looks at you.

Laura

There’s no better sight to wake up than to see the two girls whispering and giggling together. Unless, of course, a sleepy Carmilla and you doing the same thing or something a little more daring.

Really, Laura Hollis? You’re sitting beside your daughter and Hayley, and you can only think of her mother in a non-PG way? Behave yourself!

A moment later, Sloan is laughing as Hayley tickles you. Sloan has never laughed so much. Your daughter doesn’t usually like these type of games, ever. At least, not before getting to know Hayley. Feeling a little ashamed, you erase any impure thoughts about Carmilla and concentrate on enjoying this moment with your daughters.

Your daughter! Your daughter and Hayley.

But she feels so like yours too.

After a few minutes, Hayley remembers her cat and asks you for some milk to feed it.

While you’re getting the milk from the refrigerator, Hayley asks you for one of the cookies that she sees on top of the kitchen cupboard.

Your cookies. Cookies that you don't share with anyone.

But it’s Hayley that’s asking. What’s more, you let her take as many as she wants, showing that she’s addicted to sugary foods like you. She grabs as much as she can fit into her tiny hands and runs away, but not before challenging Sloan to a race upstairs. Sloan only raises one of her eyebrows before chasing after her.

Heading back to the living room, your eyes meet up with the most beautiful vision since the time you first laid eyes on your daughter. Carmilla is still asleep on the couch. Completely lost in the arms of Morpheus and once again you notice the similarity to Sloan.

Her black hair falls over her face in just the right way to highlight the perfection of her features. The warm light of mid-afternoon that enters through the window seems to caress her pale skin, making your hands itch with longing to stroke it.

You approach the couch slowly, and you’re about to call her when she begins to murmur in her sleep. She seems to get more anxious, and you’re uncertain of what to do until you see the desperation in her face and hear her call out a woman’s name. The name that you recognize as the one LaFontaine mentioned to you. Her former girlfriend and possible wife.

You sit beside Carmilla hand and call her name softly, trying to wake her up without frightening her. Even during dreams, she calls you by the same nickname as she gives Hayley, possibly confusing you with her. Despite her obvious distress, you still can’t help feeling that it would be nice if she were saying it to you instead.

Are you certain that she’s talking about her daughter though? She mentions that she’ll never abandon her and your heart aches a little at this claim. Why would Carmilla need to reassure her daughter that she’ll never leave her behind? You push that thought to one side when she opens her eyes in a panic before she gradually calms down.

A few minutes pass that make you almost combust next to her; her hand on your cheek, the sleepy voice on awakening and a soulful yet fragile look in her eyes make you realize that this woman has just turned your world upside down.

In typical Hollis fashion, you manage to put your foot in your mouth and blurt out that you've been watching her sleep, so now she probably thinks you’re some sort of peeping tom!

At first, Carmilla doesn’t seem to appear to notice that comment. But a second later you’re uncertain when her gaze turns challenging. Yes, well. Now not only does she think you're an idiot, but that you are a depraved pervert who gets their kicks from staring at sleeping women. Perfect!

Your cheeks couldn’t possibly be redder when she asks where the girls are.

You offer a coffee after a few moments of awkward silence, and in the most adorable manner, Carmilla accepts. She asks to use your bathroom because she says she feels a mess.

Okay, you realize your brain has absolutely no filter when your mouth spits a desperate  'You look beautiful, as always'  in response to Carmilla’s assertion. Mentally, you face-palm. From bad to worse, Hollis.

Carmilla lets the comment pass and heads to your bathroom. When she leaves, you finally feel you can breathe again, and you take the time to bury your face in one of the sofa cushions.

" Worst crush ever," you groan, before rising to prepare the coffee you offered Carmilla.

Carmilla

As soon as you leave the bathroom, you hear the girls talking and giggling and some satisfied purring from Bagheera. Curious, you peek into the room where the sound is coming from.

Your daughter is lounging on Sloan’s bed, listening raptly to the black-haired girl read from a book that you recognize as  'The Little Prince' while giggling slightly. Hayley is covered with cookie crumbs and devours another one as you watch. Normally, you’d put a stop to that straightaway. Normally yes, but she looks so happy with Sloan, that you haven’t the heart to do it. But you still make a mental note of telling SJ to make up for that in next week's meals.

Sloan is immersed in a black (obviously) armchair pouf in the form of a star, with a book in one hand while the other hand gently stroked the kitten resting peacefully on her legs.

None of the girls seems to notice your presence, and you sigh, thinking about how wonderful it would be if this were a recurring moment in your life. Immediately, you realize what’s missing from this picture.

Laura! Laura is waiting for you downstairs. You move slowly but quietly past the room so as not to disturb the girls.

In the kitchen, Laura is standing beside the island, looking absently out the window and holding a cup of what you assume is not coffee judging by the amount of chocolate on top.

You pause for a moment to admire the room. The soft light that enters through the window shines directly on Laura, making her blond hair glow in such a way, that you notice every subtle tone in it. Your vision is transfixed on her lips; delicate, soft pink lips that you fantasize brushing against yours.

You feel a sudden urge to walk up behind and take her in your arms, to rest your chin on her shoulder and pepper her neck and jaw with kisses until you reach those lips. Those lips that will drive you mad with desire if you don't kiss them soon.

Calm the fuck down, Karnstein! Her daughter is upstairs with yours. You can't have these sorts of thoughts about Sloan's mother. It’s not appropriate.  

Or can you? It’s clear now that the Sasquatch is only Laura’s best friend. Also, judging by the conversation you overheard while waiting for the pizza, Xena has a boyfriend. So that means Laura and her are not a couple. And so far, nothing in the house seems to indicate that there is a significant other in her life. Cut this shit out, Carmilla!

Clearing your throat gets Laura’s attention and makes her jumps slightly before she turns to face you.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," you mumble.

"Carm! You’re back. Sorry, I was just daydreaming. Here’s some coffee, I don't know how you take it, so I put the sugar on the table so that you make it to your liking and I wasn’t sure if you wanted some cream in it, but if you did I’m sorry to say that there isn’t anyway. I’m not a fan of coffee, and I only have it at home for visitors because my friends say that hot chocolate at my age is childish…."

That smile, tinged this time with sadness is going to be the death of you. You take a few steps forward to and rest your arms on the kitchen island.

"Laura, it’s okay. Breathe. Black coffee is perfect."

Despite your smile, the worry doesn’t leave her face.

"Laura, are you okay?"

She seems to be touched by your concern, and her smile relaxes a little.

" I'm fine, Carm. Thanks for asking," she replies shyly.

Right now, you just want to hug her to cheer her up. But you don't, so take a seat at the counter to drink your coffee.

There is another awkward silence between the two of you that you wish one of the girls would break. Or maybe a call from your cell phone or Laura’s charming rambling. Or anything at all.

“Carm… Who Is Ell?"

Okay, anything but that.

You almost spit out the coffee when she says her name. You try to answer, but your mind goes blank, and you can’t find the words.

"I'm sorry, Carm. I didn't want to bother you. You don’t have to answer. It's just that you called out that name when you were dreaming and I… I'm sorry. Forget it. I’m an idiot."

"No, Laura, you're not."

It’s the only thing that you’re able to say. You don’t want Laura feeling guilty about upsetting you. It’s not her fault or yours. The blame lies with the bitch who owns that name.

"Really, it’s okay, Carm. You don't have to talk about it. Unless you want to, but I think that you don't. It’s not as if we were friends or something. I was wrong to ask, and I’m sorry."

"Ell is my wife."

Her reaction is even worse than you feared. Laura’s jaw drops and her disappointment is palpable.

"Well, my ex-wife."

Finally, you’re able to breathe and notice that Laura seems a lot happier about your clarification.

" Carm, seriously. You don't have to tell me anything..."

And that’s the moment when your brother decides to text you. You ask Laura for a few minutes and go outside to clear your head. It’s make-your-mind-up time. Do you need to speak about your ex-wife with Laura? Could you tell your story to this woman that you’ve only just met, and who you know nothing about, but about whom you’re dying to know everything?

Ell is my wife. What were you thinking?! The perfect way to seduce Laura, Karnstein.

No, not seduce. You don't want to seduce Laura Hollis. You want to woo her. Does wooing sound better? Oh God, you’re getting worse!

For the moment, maybe it’s better to direct your attention to your brother’s message.

Willyboy:

Mom sends her greetings. She will be in the city in the coming weeks. She wants to know if it is possible to have all four of us together for dinner. I think she really just wants to see Hayley

Kitty-Carm:

Dinner with mother, always a great way to spend an afternoon. You’re full of good news.

Willyboy:

Oh! Bad humor and sarcasm. Not unusual for you, but I thought you were with your beloved Laura and that you would be happy. Oh! Is the amazon wife there?

Kitty-Carm:

Not that it’s any of your business, but she’s not her wife. Or girlfriend. Just her best friend. And no. We’re alone.

You're walking across the porch as you reply to your brother.

Willyboy:

WOW! What’s the problem then? What are you waiting for, Kitty? I thought you had a plan. What’s with the bad vibes?

Kitty-Carm:

We fell asleep watching a movie (don't even go there, our daughters were with us) and I dreamed about $%#"(

You can’t even bring yourself to type her name.

Willyboy:

Oh, no! Not the ex from hell again. Look, Carmilla, you’re with a woman that you like and judging by the way you speak of her, someone you're interested in. She’s the only one that I have seen for a long time that turns you into a lovesick kitten.

Kitty-Carm:

Love? Will, no one said anything about love!

Liar. You just said that you wanted to woo Laura; that means you want her to fall for you. Doesn’t it?

Shut up, Brain!

Willyboy:

Kitty. Stop brooding over the past for once and open your eyes. You may find what you’re looking for is right in front of you.

Maybe your brother is right. You do what he asks, and you raise your eyes to look through the window.

Perhaps, you can look forward to a different future.

Maybe even a future with Laura?

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Carmilla

"Yes!"

That’s the answer you hear in the distance as you try to hide the smile on your face. The key word being 'try.'

Laura says nothing else, and only nods eagerly when you promise to arrange everything for the date (a date with Laura Hollis!) when you pick up Hayley and Bagheera the following afternoon.

A few blocks from Laura’s house, you decide to take a diversion. You need to collect your thoughts and absorb what just happened, so you go to the one place that throughout your life has been your sanctuary. It’s a woodland area of the local park, perhaps the only part of the city that you love more than anything in the world.

In the darkness of the night, you recognize your favorite space. It’s a solitary tree in a clearing, the same tree that sheltered you during the most important or worst moments of your life. You found it that first day that you needed to flee from all around you when your father had decided to leave his family behind and chase the dreams of his youth. Or the time you discovered that your mother had forgotten your birthday for the first time in your life, with the excuse that her 'new boyfriend' was taking her away on a weekend break. It sheltered you under its branches when you realized your feelings for Ell went beyond friendship.

This tree has seen you during the times that Ell fought over every little thing, such as the way another classmate glanced at you or that insignificant compliment about your clothes that the girl in the local café paid you. It knows the things that you stopped doing, such as sketching everyday street and university scenes because once you included a detailed drawing of a beautiful woman sitting beside the campus lake. It’s seen you neglect your friends because of her jealousy. She couldn’t tolerate even the most innocent friendship between you and someone else. In those moments, of course, you did whatever she wanted, because you thought that was how love worked. You wanted to make her happy, even when it went against all your instincts.

The tree was your refuge when Ell left your life after years of a stormy relationship. It was here that you finally realized how poisonous that relationship was.

Bringing all these bitter memories to the surface almost makes you sick, and you can taste the bile in your mouth. But then you remember that Laura said ‘yes’ and the feeling disappears.

She said yes to you. Sitting at the foot of the leafy tree, hugging your knees to your chest and you’re smiling at the blonde’s response. Even so, your feelings are in turmoil. You want to take your brothers advice and leave the past behind, but you’re so afraid.

Although you don't know Laura that well, the little time that you’ve spent together convinces you that the blond would never hurt Hayley or you; but perhaps all the other people that have done so never intended to do that either.

They all said that they loved you and yet, they left without a backward glance.

Just as you turn your gaze toward the sky, you picture Will asking you ridiculous questions regarding your relationship with Laura. What relationship? Friendship, at least? Well, at least there’s that between Laura and you. Then, you feel your phone vibrating in your jacket.

My forbidden love:

Good night, Carm.

You smile because there is nothing else you can do lately when you think about Laura Hollis.

But on the other hand, you remind yourself never to lend your phone to your brother again ‘for an important call.’ Because you’re going to kill him.

"You're an idiot," you yell at your brother as soon as he answers your call.

"And a good evening to you too. Sis. But what is it I’m supposed to have done now?’

"You changed Laura’s contact details to My forbidden love! Are you serious?"

Your brother explodes in laughter, and your anger increases a little more. He’s so childish. Dealing with him sometimes is worse than trying to talk to Hayley during the latest Dr. Who episode. You could say the world is ending, but she won’t pay the slightest attention to you. Eventually, your brother recovers from his fit of laughter

"Okay, Okay. Perhaps I went a little far but hey! At least now I know that you're in touch with her. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have noticed the name."

Okay, maybe you didn’t think this through before calling your brother. In your mind’s eye, you can see your brother waggling his eyebrows as if to say, ‘caught you.’

As you try to smooth out the frown lines on your forehead, you wonder how you’re going to tell Will that you have a date with Laura.

Just like that, the mere thought relaxes you and makes you smile again. What the hell, just tell him!

"I have a date with Laura."

Laura

When you wake up the next morning something is different. You feel lighter, more carefree. And the first thing on your mind is the last thing you fell asleep thinking about. You have a date with Carmilla.

You haven’t the slightest idea what she has in mind, but one thing is sure. That fluttery feeling in your stomach is enough to make you smile foolishly without knowing anything more other than you get to some spend time with her. Alone.

Just then, a noise from the kitchen attracts your attention, and you hurry to the ground floor to see what’s happening. You discover Hayley on top of one of the counters of the breakfast area and opening one of the kitchen cabinets. She’s already placed a bottle of milk on the table, your favourite chocolate cereal and is currently trying to carry three breakfast bowls.

" Good morning, Laura. I tried to wake Sloan, but she only turned three times in bed before falling asleep again. I don't think she likes to wake up early and I was hungry, so I thought I'd bring you breakfast in bed. It’s what I do when Mom doesn’t wake up or when SJ isn’t coming to the house," she says as you approach her to make sure she doesn’t slip off the stool.

"Yeah, Sloan hates getting up early, unless it’s a school day. Although I don’t think that it’s because of classes, but because she gets to see you on those days," you reply with a wink and a laugh. Hayley blushes in response.

"It’s okay, I'm used to it. My mom also hates waking up early on the weekends. If she could, she’d sleep until five in the afternoon every day and do everything at night," she replies, and you’re fascinated again as you discover something new about Carmilla.

After feeding Bagheera and finally waking Sloan after several attempts, the three of you have breakfast in your bed while watching Vampire Diaries. Not however without your daughter passing several snarky comments about the episodes, saying how silly is that the vampires fall in love. Neither Hayley or you agree with this assertion. Sloan only turned a deaf ear to both of you when you refute her arguments. You and Hayley watch several more episodes while your daughter leaves to get her book and cuddles up to you while reading it. You know that she’s secretly enjoying the company; it’s not necessary to participate in the same activity if just being in the same place makes you happy. Your heart hasn’t felt this full in a long time.

After telling the girls to take a bath and change into clean clothes, you find a message on your phone, and you're almost certain who it is. Or at least who you’re hoping it’s going to be.

Carm:

Good morning. I hope I’m not waking you.

Laura:

Carm, it’s 2 in the afternoon

Carm:

Sorry, I just woke up. I wanted to know at what time is convenient to pick up Hayley .

Laura:

Would 6 be okay? I want to take Bagheera to the park for a walk.

Carm:

Laura, you are aware that Bagheera is a cat? They don't like being brought for walks, they’re independent creatures.

Laura:

Even the most independent creatures can change, Carm. It's just a matter of love and care.

Carm:

If you say so, Creampuff .

Carm:

I’ll be home at 6.

Carm:

*Your Home. Stupid cell phone. I'm sorry.

The smile you've had since you opened the eyes that morning gets bigger at the new nickname from Carmilla and you giggle when Carmilla recognizes the implications of her last comment. Although, honestly, part of you wants to believe that you could get that message and that ‘home' for Carmilla is one that you could share together.

Oh! Do you remember the fluttering in his stomach this morning? It’s back again and more intense than ever. As six o clock draws closer, it seems to get worse. May the gods have mercy on your soul! If this is how you feel at the thoughts of arranging the date, what are you going to be like on the actual date?

Calm down, Hollis! It’s not as if she asked you to marry her.

Great! Now that thought alone makes your stomach feel even more nervous.

Well, your brain is not going easy on you today.

Carmilla

"Growth in our normal markets has been stagnant, and now we have a new product that we’re aiming at young people. The biggest challenge is to make them feel that it’s 'cool.’ Do you believe that your agency can make a floor cleaner something that will appeal to teenagers?"

"But of course! There is nothing that our creative team can't do. Isn’t that right, Carmilla?

… Ahem, Carmilla? Karnstein!"

Someone kicks your leg, and you turn to find the culprit. Beside you is your assistant. Elsie nods to your boss who is waiting impatiently at the other side of the conference table. He doesn’t look happy.

You turn quickly and notice the screen is displaying a floor cleaner with a stupid name. For teens? For God's sake! Each time a new client thinks they know how to market something, another little piece of you dies inside.

After hours of analyzing the proposal and trying with all your might to convince the client that his idea wouldn’t work but that you have something more workable, you exit the meeting room completely frustrated.

"Carmilla?" What’s wrong with you today?"

“What are you talking about, Elsie?" you reply with a grumpy tone.

"All day long you've been distracted," she replies

"I don't know what you mean, I've been working hard all morning."

"We have just come out of a meeting where you didn’t listen to a word, and then you spent hours on an amendment that any trainee would do in three minutes. When the designer did the presentation, you didn’t yell at them even though the heading was ' SHP For Sale: 220 liter plastic drums ’ and could be read twenty blocks away. Your emails haven’t been answered, and account executives are sending more; shall I continue?"

You remain silent, not even aware that you had passed a blatant spelling and punctuation mistake. You, the grammar nazi. Elsie continues to stare at you in disbelief as you keep tapping your desk restlessly with your pen.

"It’s because of this date you have tonight, isn't it?"

You look at Elsie in confusion.

"How did you know…?"

" You forget that I am your personal assistant. I made the reservation, and I don’t think that a working dinner would make you this nervous. It’s true that in part I was disappointed not to be the one you’re taking out, but I never imagined the day would come when Carmilla Karnstein was almost dying of nerves because of another woman.”

Elsie leaves your office, and you’re still amazed at her words. Even if you wanted to claim that it has nothing to do with Laura, you can't do it. You know it's true. This very night, in a few hours, you’re going on your date with Laura Hollis and never have you felt so nervous and insecure. You're like a twelve-year-old again.

It’s a just a date! Get a hold of yourself, Karnstein!

Despite leaving work a few hours ahead of schedule, somehow you manage to catch up on all your work and leave everything in order.

When you arrive home, Hayley, your brother, and SJ are on the couch in your living room watching TV.  Your daughter is sitting between Will and SJ, although you notice that your brother's arm is resting on the back of the couch suspiciously close to your housekeeper. You pretend not to notice when he moves it as you enter the room. More than anything, you don’t want SJ to feel awkward. But of course, you have enough blackmail material to tease your brother. He’s been spending a lot more time at your house lately, and now you’ve witnessed the reason why. You smile a little because this was something that you had desired for a long time. Even though your brother can be annoying, you know he’s earned this opportunity.

He deserves happiness with someone like SJ. Someone who will love him for all his strengths and weaknesses, with the ability to notice beyond what others see on the face we all present to the world. Someone who can love him unconditionally and who wouldn’t leave at the first opportunity to do so. Real love.

You truly believe Will deserves it. But do you? Do you deserve to be with someone like that? Someone like Laura Hollis?

After tucking Hayley in and giving her a good night kiss, you prepare to leave for your date. But not before threatening your brother with a gruesome death if he even breathes a word about it.

Thankfully, Will appreciates living too much to make any comment.

When you get in your car, you check the glove box to make sure the small package is still there. It’s wrapped in paper that’s decorated with small stars. It’s the fifth time you’ve done this today, but well, one can never be sure. It’s always possible that someone could look for and steal the exact package that is stored in your glove box. Very possible.

Taking a deep breath, you look in the mirror one last time before starting your vehicle. All you have to do is pick up one last thing before collecting Laura.

Tonight’s the night, Karnstein!

Laura

When Carmilla tells you that she’ll pick you for dinner the following Friday, all you can do is smile and blush. You feel that you could die of nervousness!

But she rings the bell, you open the door and see Carmilla leaning against the doorframe with her arms behind her back. She’s dressed in tight black jeans that seem to hug her curves and a white tank top that clings to her torso in the most perfect way; which, honestly, should be classified as illegal. She’s also wearing a long black blazer that almost reaches to mid-thigh with the sleeves pulled halfway up her forearms, and combat boots that make her look like the most desired oasis in the middle of the desert.

You’re sure this woman is going to be the death of you. What you’re not so sure of is whether you’re against the idea.

"Hey, Creampuff," she says with a smile

"Hello, Carm."

The vision in front of you makes your voice sound three times higher than it normally would. You don't know what else to say and Carmilla and your stare at each other for what seems like an eternity, until the black-haired girl has the audacity to break the silence.

"Ahm, Sloan is already in bed?"

You manage to hide your disappointment because you don't expect the first thing she’d do is ask for your daughter, you thought that this was about the two of you; but of course, you're still touched by her interest in Sloan.

"Sloan is staying with some friends of mine. I thought that… I… like you said that without the girls… and I didn't know at the time that we would… I can't leave her alone at home…"

"Laura, it’s okay. I just brought a small gift for her."

Carmilla stops your rambling with her characteristic raised eyebrow and smirk. Your legs feel like water, and your heart skips a little more because of Carmilla’s attentiveness to Sloan

She hands you a small package that’s wrapped in blue tinted paper covered with stars of various sizes. By the feel of it, you realize that it’s a book. You don't have the slightest idea of what it is, but you’re sure Sloan will love it. And you can't feel feeling the same way about Carmilla when your heart beats a little faster again. You may have to make an appointment with the doctor after this because there’s no earthly way it should be beating like that. That is, of course, if you live through this night.

"It's nothing special, really. It’s one of my favorite books, and I thought that Sloan would like it," says Carmilla casually, when she hands it to you. “When I was here the other day, I noticed she didn’t have it in their collection. I hope she likes it. It’s ‘Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea."

"Carm, you didn’t have to go to that trouble. I’m sure Sloan will appreciate it. She doesn’t have this one, so I’ll give it to her tomorrow.”

Taking the book in your hands, you turn to leave it on the table in the entry hall.

When you turn back to Carmilla, you’re certain that she’s committed to destroying your sanity.

Carmilla is standing in front of you with a small bouquet of white flowers. You can’t say what sort they are, but it’s the most beautiful one you have ever seen.

“These are for you,” she says.

A tear almost escapes from your eye. You couldn't ask for more from this date and Carmilla’s only been here two minutes.

Internally, you beg the universe for strength to get through this night, because there’s no other way you’re going to live through this date.

You're not going to survive, Hollis!

Chapter Text

Carmilla

It’s risking certain death to drive through this city on a Friday night. You are aware of this, but for tonight, you think that you can tolerate it for the sake of surprising Laura.

Before arriving at her house, you make a brief visit to your older sister. She’s been in the city for a few days dealing with the scandal in the Prime Minister’s office and is stunned when you contact her two days before the date to ask for a favor.

"This must be someone very special, Munchkin?"

"Are you going to give me the keys, yes or no?"

"WOW! That’s not the right way to ask for a favor."

You mutter something under your breath.

"Excuse me, Carmilla? I didn’t quite catch that. Could you repeat it?"

"Mattie, please could you give me the damn keys so that I can leave here and not have to look at your smug face a moment longer?"

"You're such a dear. I’m sure that the woman with whom you are going out tonight won’t be able to resist your charms," she replies sarcastically while handing you a pair of key cards.

"Thanks, I learned from the best."

"Just make sure they’re back here at eight in the morning, you little monster. If Mother learns of this, she’ll kill me, and I’ll come back from the dead to kill you and your date.”

Laughing, you hug your sister goodbye. The relationship you have is not the closest, partly because she went away to university when you were still young. When your relationship with your ex began, your sister was the first one to warn you about her. Unfortunately, you were so blinded by your feelings for your girlfriend that the distance between Mattie and you only increased. But in the end, Will and her were the only ones who supported you when the blonde disappeared from your life.

But when you left your sister, something happened that you still can't stop thinking about.

***

When you came out of your sister’s office, you spotted the place you visited the most during your first year of marriage. After she left, you never set foot in it.

Entering the store, you realized you had no idea what to buy. The owner came over to ask what you wanted, and you answered honestly that you didn't know. Miraculously, the woman recognized you after so many years. Surprised, you asked her how she did.

"You ordered a bouquet of yellow tulips, every week for more than a year. Delivered always to the same address,” she answers with a smile. You found yourself smiling too at her good memory even though it referred to that time in your life.

"So, do you need a bouquet of tulips?" she asked.

You shook your head. This was not in your plans, but you checked your watch and realized you had a few minutes to spare.

"There’s someone else, isn’t there?"

You nodded while looking around in search of something that you consider worthy of Laura.

"You’re not cheating on your wife, are you?"

Again, you shook your head.

"So, what do you like about this new girl?"

When you shrug, she finally asked, “What's the occasion?"

"It’s our first date."

For a moment, you thought that this was the best conversation you had with another human being who wasn’t family, a work colleague or Laura. And you’d hardly said more than a few words.

She looked at you for a moment and then asked you to tell her all about the woman you’re meeting tonight. After listening for a few minutes, she leads you to the counter.

"I think this is the best choice for you."

Your first reaction was one of disdain. The flower that she showed you was small, simple and the most boring thing of all? It was white.

"Don't look at me like that. I can explain everything."

"You have a good reason for this?"

"I'm going to tell you how I knew that your first marriage was going to fail and why these flowers are the best choice."

***

As you stroll towards Laura’s house, you realize that your palms are sweaty. Which is awkward as your hands are full and you can only hope that what you’re carrying isn’t ruined.

When Laura opens the door, you realize that paying attention to the florist was the right decision. You try to remain calm so that she doesn’t notice how nervous you are. As you take in the sight of her, you think that if angels exist, then Laura Hollis must be one.

She’s dressed in a sleeveless emerald green dress that shows off a pair of well-toned arms. It almost makes you think that maybe you should sleep less and start working out at a gym if these are the results. It has a V-cut that allows you to appreciate the beauty of her collarbones and the top of her cleavage. The dress seems to cling to her curves and ends around mid-thigh, giving you the opportunity to check out her shapely legs. Okay, maybe you should take up exercise yourself. Her calves are accentuated by black shoes with a small heel, but she’s still a little shorter than you which you’re grateful for.

If there’s a God in heaven, you’re grateful to them for creating such visual poetry.

Her eyes almost light up in excitement and shine like the honey that reflects the first rays of the morning. Her hair is styled, but in a charmingly disorderly way and you smile to yourself at how it seems to emphasize that characteristic tint of her cheeks

Laura turns to leave Sloan’s gift on a table and God! It would be an insult to the good taste if you didn’t take this opportunity to admire her ass. These are probably the best utilized seconds of your life.

When you present her with the bouquet, her eyes seem to light up even more if that was possible.

Laura

After thanking Carmilla for the flowers, you go to your kitchen to place the bouquet in one of the vases. You cannot avoid inhaling their delicate fragrance one last time and smile again.

When you return to lock the front door, Carmilla extends her right arm to escort you to her car. She even opens the door for you and waits until you’ve fastened your seatbelt before closing it again.

Carmilla’s manners make makes it seem as if she had been born hundreds of years ago when courtesy and respect was the way to attract a woman’s favor. But you don’t feel that she needs to do it for you.

The journey is brief, but Carmilla and you enjoy talking about her day at work and at home. You feel so happy to have someone with whom you can share your experiences with Sloan and understand you the way Carmilla does.

The restaurant Carmilla has chosen is one of the best in the city. You always wanted to try it but to go to an establishment so elegant with your daughter is hardly the most romantic way to spend a weekend.

The waitress brings the menu, and it is not difficult to notice how she almost drools over Carmilla. Her attempts to flirt with her are so obvious and pathetic that you can't do anything other than turning a blind eye to her constant smiles and suggestive winks.

The only thing comforting thing about it is that Carmilla doesn’t pay her any attention, as she’s too busy reviewing the menu, commenting on what’s available.

The women writes down everything Carmilla orders as if it was a prayer raised to heaven. Well, that's acceptable because you're as distracted as the waitress by Carmilla’s lips as she speaks. The difference for you is that your thoughts are far from sacred. The young woman is so bewitched by the vision that is Carmilla that she almost forgets to take your order. Luckily, Carmilla noticed.

Although you’re enjoying her company, you find it hard to relax here.  The restaurant is beautiful and elegantly lit up in such a way that it reminds you of a European castle. If you look around, you can see people dressed in their finery and perhaps the formality of this place is what makes you feel uncomfortable.

Carmilla is telling you a story about one of her clients when you receive your starters, and you suddenly realize that carpaccio means that the fish you’ve been served is raw. Fortunately, Carmilla has asked for some smoked salmon blinis and without thinking twice, offers to exchange hers with yours when she notices your dismay.

If possible, the level of appreciation that you have for Carmilla has increased even further.

"Carmilla?"

An unfamiliar voice calls from the middle of the restaurant, and the two of you turn. A pair of leggy blondes is heading towards your table. For a split second, Carmilla’s face contorts in a annoyed expression, but it’s replaced almost immediately with a calm, neutral expression.

Almost.

"Fancy meeting you here! Do you remember Svetlana?" says brown-eyed, blonde number one. She has the sort of body that you’d never achieve even if your job allowed you to spend all day in the gym. You’re lucky sometimes if you’re able to do a few hours of yoga every week if you’re not dead tired by the time you get home. Blonde number one smiles from ear to ear as she approaches Carmilla who rises and greets her with a kiss on the cheek.

"Elsie, what a pleasure, I’m sure. I haven’t seen you since this afternoon at the office,” replies Carmilla carefully before she turns to blonde number two. Who by the way has not ceased to look you up and down while the first one has completely ignored you. If these are the sort of women that Carmilla is used to dating, you don't have a chance with her. Blonde number two has eyes that are a mix of blue and green, beautiful fine features, and her legs look as long as you’re tall.

Where would you even go to meet such women?

"Good evening, Svetlana, long time no see. I didn't realize you were back in town."

"I suppose not because I never received a call after… the jeans commercial."

You don’t want to think about what blonde number two is implying, but it’s safe to assume that she isn’t referring to the commercial. But now you realize she’s a model. Which explains the long legs and a body that’s apparently sculpted by the gods.

Stupid short genes!

"Ah yes, I had forgotten that commercial,” replies Carmilla coldly.

"I could never forget it, much less the night after recording. I think I should be offended."

You roll your eyes, unable to credit the things that blonde number two is insinuating about her 'relationship' with Carmilla.

Carmilla says nothing more and your clear your throat because these two goddesses have caught the attention of the whole restaurant. You don’t think for a moment that you can compete with women like them.

"Elsie, Svetlana, let me introduce you to Laura Hollis," says Carmilla when you attract her attention.

Blonde number two looks surprised., You’d like to believe that it’s because your presence is imposing, but you get the impression that she’s sneering at you. She’s not hiding it very well either because, behind the fake smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, she’s looking at you as if you were an insect. Blonde number one, (Elsie?) was the name on Carmilla’s phone when she was in your house for the play date. But she barely acknowledges you even though she has enough manners to extend her hand to greet you.

"New girlfriend? I never thought I’d see you in a relationship," says Svetlana.

"Please! Carmilla doesn’t do relationships. That much should be clear to everyone,” replies Elsie, before Carmilla can respond.

"Maybe that’s because she’s finally found the right woman," you say, unable to stay silent for a moment longer.

Perfect, Hollis. Just because you feel intimidated by the beauty of these women does not mean that you have something to prove. Oh! You just make implied that you and Carmilla are girlfriends! That’s not what you meant to say. You try to recompose your words.  "You can relax, Carm and I aren’t together."

"Carm?" questioned the blonde number one, the one that is called Elsie and immediately you turn to Carmilla.

" Well, it was great meeting again I’m sure Svetlana, but I think you should go back to your table before you lose it," says Carmilla, completely ignoring Elsie.

"Yeah, they should!"

Woah there, Hollis! Seriously? There’s no better way for you to make a good impression on the first date than acting like a spoiled child. What’ll you do next, stick your tongue out at them?

They’d deserve it.

Fortunately, none of the three women say anything about your comment although you think Carmilla is barely holding back her laughter.

The women say goodbye, mainly to Carmilla, and are seated at their table.

Which ‘mysteriously’ isn’t too far from yours.

Carmilla takes her seat again, and you excuse me yourself to use the bathroom. Of course, it’s gigantic, imposing and makes you feel even smaller. This night hasn’t gone the way you expected.

You decide to cool off and wait a few minutes so that your turmoil is less obvious to Carmilla. When you think of Elsie, you’re reminded of what LaFontaine told you about Carmilla. Are you just going to be another name on Carmilla’s list of women, another notch on her bedpost? It is not that you wouldn’t do it, but…

No! No, Hollis, no. You're not going to be just one more woman.

But you realize that Carmilla ignored the suggestive comments she received. That eases your uncertainty a bit and convinces you that she must have seen something more than the physical in you to bring you on this date. It’s not the most comforting idea, but at least you think she wouldn’t have asked you out if she wasn’t interested.

As you walk back to your table, you notice that the waitress is back and flirting with Carmilla again. You take a deep breath, realizing it will be a long night and not for the reasons that you had imagined.

Carmilla

You did not expect to run into Elsie and Svetlana on your date with Laura. Of course, your assistant is shameless in showing you up by not only appearing at the restaurant that she booked for you but in the company of one of the advertising models you had a one-night-stand with. That’s the straw that’s broken the camel’s back. You wouldn’t have cared if you were with some other woman and charming her into your bed. This night was to be all about Laura, and you don't need her thinking that you just want bed her. Not Laura Hollis of all people.

When they leave, Laura excuses herself to go to the bathroom and your take the opportunity to ask for the main course. You couldn’t even enjoy your starter, but you decide to forget what happened a moment ago and salvage your dinner plans.

The waitress makes every lame innuendo known to man when she recommends the duck 'breasts' or the ‘sexy little Chateaubriand.' Seriously? Can't she at least try and think of more original material?

Laura returns to the table, and you smile. Although she returns the smile, you may notice something more. It’s hard to know if she’s angry about what happened with Elsie or maybe she hates the restaurant. Perhaps you’ve managed to ruin everything with her. You ask the waitress for a few more minutes so that Laura can decide what she wants to order and she leaves, but not before throwing you a wink.

Seriously, could someone just teach this waitress how to flirt already?

You try to draw Laura’s attention to the menu but notice that she only glances at it. The blonde has a half smile on her lips but seems distracted.

"Everything okay, Creampuff?"

"Ahm… Yes, Carm. Everything’s perfect, thank you."

"Are you ready to order?"

"Uhm… No. I don't know what the main courses are and I don’t want the same thing to happen as with the starters. You should just order for me."

Laura looks tense and uncomfortable in her seat. For a moment, you think she’s about to get up from the table and leave. You can’t let that happen.

"How about a nice burger instead?"

Laura's face lights up, and it reminds you of your daughter when you purchase her the largest chocolate bar from the candy shop.

"That would be great. But I didn’t think they did burgers here."

"They don’t."

"Then what?" replies a confused Laura

"Let's get out of here, Creampuff. I know where they prepare the best burgers in the city and we still have time to get there before they close."

Laura gives you a delighted smile, and your heart is pounding as if you had just run a mile in two minutes. Is that even humanly possible? Who cares. You didn’t think that your heart was capable of beating this way anyway.

You pay the bill immediately, and when the waitress returned with the payment receipt, there’s another piece of paper with some numbers and a name written on it. Such class. You ignore it.

But Laura has cheered up, and you’re delighted to have made her smile again.

You park in the street not far from the city center. When you were in college and used to go out at night, mainly with her and her friends, there was no better place to end a party than Dean's Burgers. It’s an old food truck that almost no one knows about.

"I know it doesn’t look great and that it’s very different from the restaurant, but I promise you won’t get a better burger than here…"

"Carm, are you crazy? I don't mind eating from a food truck, and I love the smell of fast food."

"You haven’t seen anything yet because you’re really going to become addicted to these burgers. Although you’ll probably die from a cholesterol overdose after just one, but the flavor is unmatched."

Laura lets out a laugh. That laugh. The one that makes you smile like an idiot every time that it’s melodious symphony resonates in your ears.

To Laura’s surprise, you order your food to go.

"But Carm, I told you that I don't mind eating outside."

"Hush, Creampuff. I have a much better idea for where we can eat our food."

The blonde seems intrigued by your answer but at the same time cannot prevent her moan of pleasure when the food is ready.

Taking the greasy paper bags full of the most mouth-watering smells in the world, you start walking. It’s only ten blocks away, and you don't want to waste any time looking for another place to park. Besides, it’s not a good idea to use the parking lot where you’re going.

Even though it’s a summer night, there’s a cold breeze and Laura with her dress is the one who suffers the most from it. You ask her to hold the takeaway bags, and you take off your blazer to put over her shoulders.

"Carm, no! You're going to freeze. I am fine, really, you don't have to..."

"Cupcake, Cupcake, it’s okay. You've been shivering for the past two blocks. It wouldn’t do to catch a cold in the middle of our date,” you say with a smile as you take back the food. Laura thanks you and buttons up the jacket.

The building is the tallest one in the city and is lit up in the evening to let the ordinary people know that those that have offices here are part of the select few who run the country. It houses wealthy business men and women who boast of being multi-billionaire property developers. To you, it’s just a building made of bricks, iron, and glass that fails to compensate for the souls that these people lack.

Of course, your mother is one of them. You take the access cards that Mattie gave you and take the elevator to the top floor. What’s the point in having office space in the best building in the city’s business district, if you can’t also boast about having the best view of the city?

When you arrive at the conference room, you can see Laura almost jump with excitement as she observes the city view from the windows that extend from floor to ceiling.

"Carm! What are we doing here? Why do you have keys to the Morgan building? I thought we were going to dinner. Look at this view.  I can't believe that we’re up here. I think I can see my house from here!"

"Calm down, Creampuff. I don't want you dying on me from excitement because that would be my worst date ever. Mmm… except perhaps for the time when a girl vomited into my mother’s fishbowl at home."

Laura giggles again and you can't help but think that no matter how nerdy it sounds, you could listen to it forever.

After placing the food on the large meeting table, you open a hidden door that looks like part of the wall, but which you know leads to a private room. When your mother, Mattie or Will are working late, they use this room to grab a nap to recharge for an hour or two before continuing with their work. Fortunately, no one had to stay this evening. The case involving the Prime Minister’s office seems to be going well, and you’ve no doubt that your mother's law firm will bring it to a speedy resolution. You haven't even asked them about it and prefer not to do so. The less you know about your mother's business, the better.

You turn on the light, and you are going to one of the alcoves. Laura is standing in the doorway door watching your movements.

"Carm… I don't know what you were planning on here, but…"

For a moment, you don’t understand what Laura is getting at, but suddenly you realize that the only thing she knows is that she’s alone with you in the highest building in the city, and you have taken her to a private room with a big bed. So, you decide to have a little fun. You stop what you were doing and stand in front of her, almost pinning her against the door.

"Come on, Cutie. You're not going to tell me that you don’t know what’s going on here?" 

Laura’s expression is priceless. "Carm… I... ahm…"

It’s too much, and you can’t hold in your laughter any longer.

"Calm down, Creampuff. I only came in here to grab a few things we need for dinner," you say when you manage to stop laughing.

You’ve seen the blonde blush many times already, but you swear that none of them have compared to this. And Laura biting her lower lip; okay, now you’re thinking about the same thing as Laura was.

"Unless of course, you want to 'eat' here?" you say while pretending to give her your best seduction eyes.

"Carm!"

Laura gives you a small scolding slap when she stops blushing. You laugh and take two blankets from a white closet. The room also contains a small bar, and if there’s one thing you can rely on your mother for, it’s her good taste in alcohol. Only in alcohol though, her personal life is a disaster. While picking a bottle from the bar, you ask Laura to grab two pillows from the closet.

Laura also carries the food and follows you through the corridor, up the emergency stairs all the way to the dome at the pinnacle of the building.

When you arrive at the rooftop, you place one of the blankets on the ground and arrange the two pillows to make them more comfortable.

Laura runs immediately to the ledge to get a better view of the city while you wrestle with the champagne cork.

"Carm! It looks even more amazing from here. I can't believe that there’s a better view. It’s so beautiful.”

“Very beautiful,” you say as you gaze at Laura.

But the view around is nothing when you have the most divine woman in the world in front of you.

Chapter Text

Laura

You’re dreaming.

You must be dreaming, this can’t truly be happening to you.

You’ve been telling yourself that ever since you and Carmilla exited the restaurant, leaving two dumbstruck blondes behind. That seemed like the perfect moment to stick your tongue out at them, but you tried to refrain from that because you’re not a five-year-old.

Ah, but what the heck! Carmilla wasn’t watching anyway, so that’s exactly what you did.

As both of you walked out of the restaurant, Carmilla placed her hand around your waist. Although you jumped a little at the contact, you couldn’t help the warm feeling that permeated your body. You never wanted her to remove it and when she did to open your car door, you felt a little disappointed by the loss.

Thankfully, the sensation returned when she gave you her blazer even if it was more from the gesture itself than the actual garment.

Every minute you spend next to Carmilla makes your heart swell that little bit more inside your chest.

Now that you’ve eaten, you approach the edge of the Morgan Building to admire the view again.

"It's been a long time," you say with a wistful sigh.

Carmilla looks at you curiously but waits for you to elaborate.

“Since I’ve spent a night away from Sloan and yet still felt so relaxed and happy.”

Carmilla rises hesitantly from the blanket to approach you. Even though she’s steadier on her feet than you, her glass is already half-empty, and she keeps away from the edge of the building.

"I feel the same way, Laura."

You have heard your name many times from her lips, but it feels different this time. It feels warmer and more intimate, and her voice makes your legs weak. Or maybe that’s the alcohol. Perhaps it’s both.

"I doubt that the blondes from the restaurant ever felt the same," you say, trying to tease her. But you sound more jealous than you intended, and Carmilla becomes serious again, and she doesn’t meet your eye.

Well done Hollis. Way to put a downer on the best night out you’ve had a long time!

"Laura, I'm sorry you've had to put up with that…."

"Carm, that’s not what I meant to say…”

Carmilla and you sigh in unison as you run towards each other, stopping when you’re face to face and looking into each other’s eyes. She feels the need to apologize while you want to take back your words.

The scene seems so silly and corny that both of you end up laughing. This is the first time you’ve heard Carmilla laughing so freely, and you don’t want it to be the last. It affects you in a way that no other laugh has for years, and you never thought that you were capable of feeling this way. Your body begins to tremble, and you want to believe that it’s because of the height or maybe it’s the cool summer breeze. Who are you trying to fool, Hollis? It’s her. This woman has turned your whole world upside down from the moment you set eyes on her.

Gradually, both of you stop laughing, but without taking your eyes off one another. Carmilla rubs the back of her neck and bites her lip as if unsure of what to say next. It's like watching Sloan at the library trying to carry more books than she can handle and looking to you to help her with all of them.

"I’m serious, Carm. This night has been wonderful. After I had Sloan, my whole life was built around her.”

"I understand," replies Carmilla with a sigh. You believe that there is an interesting story there, but don't want to pressurize her to tell you more. But you feel if she trusted you, she would share that story. So, you do the only thing you can think of which is share something of your own to give her the confidence she needs.

"Sloan has been a blessing in my life, regardless of the circumstances. I have never regretted my decision to raise her alone.”

As you stand near the cornice of the building, Carmilla is sitting on a raised block nearer the center of the roof. Her champagne glass is by her side and her hands intertwined between her legs.  

Her silence lets you know that you have her full attention and encourages you to continue.

"I always knew that I wanted to be a mom some day. I never planned my children's names, or how I’d dress them or raise them, but I think I always knew that the day I had my baby in my arms that I would love them forever. It's funny how the scenarios that we have in our head, almost never end up being a reality. I thought that when this decision was made, that the woman with whom I decided to spend the rest of my life would be by my side; that my parents would be there being the stereotypical grandparents like you’d see in the movies and that it would be like something from a Hallmark Christmas card. But life laughs at our plans in the most unexpected ways. I was in my last year of high school when my mother had a heart attack, and suddenly she wasn’t there anymore to hug me, to encourage me on my bad days, to prepare cocoa in the way that only she used to do so, and make me smile with a single glance. I would never hear her voice ever again."

Carmilla diverts her gaze and fiddles nervously with her fingers. She still doesn’t say anything but a slight nod of her head encourages you to continue.

"Danny and I had a relationship for almost three years during high school. I'm not going to lie, but I often wondered if she and I would end being that family that I longed for. But for some reason, I always knew that wouldn’t be the case. When we broke up, I felt strange. I didn’t miss her as much as I thought I would. I missed her as a friend, but not as my girlfriend.”

“But it did make me reflect on my personal life and who I wanted to be by my side. I will never forget the following weekend with my mother. When I returned home, she received me with open arms. We talked all night, she lay down beside me in my bed hugging me, and it was almost like when I was younger and had had a bad day because some kid stole my cookies. It was the sort of hug that no matter what happens to you, it makes you feel that you’ll always have a place where you’re going to be protected. We take for granted so many things in our life, things that you think will never change.”

“For some reason, we ended up talking about children. My mother told me that there was no way for people to choose the right moment to have children, Life itself lets us know when we’re ready and all we have to do is listen .  I didn’t begin to understand that until days later after my father took me out in the middle of the school day to tell me that my mother had died suddenly. There was no warning."

Carmilla lifted her eyes and her gaze alone was enough to show you what she felt. The brightness and the empathy in her eyes were enough to make you feel safe and secure.

"Mom always loved lakes and rivers, so I always celebrated her birthday by the pond in the university because being there always made me feel closer to her. I wanted to remember the old days when we visited the lakes outside the city during the summer. It is strange to think how to someone, one day can be a normal day and yet for others, it may be the memory of the worst day of their lives. But I still find comfort in my mother’s words; Life puts us at the perfect moment.

I finished college six months later, and Channel 3 had already offered me a job for when I graduated. It was ideal because I would have a stable job that would allow me to start thinking about what I really wanted from life. That day at the lake, I decided I would have a daughter after a year. I began to think about and to love Sloan for the first time.

I didn’t think that would happen until I had her in my arms, but the truth is that before I bore her, I felt like I already knew her.”

The moon and stars illuminate Carmilla perfectly, so even through her bangs, you can see that her eyes are moist.

"So, after a year in a stable job and with all the recommendations of my friends and overprotective father, I began my sessions in the maternity clinic and became pregnant three months later. After that, it was just Sloan and me.”

“I don’t regret becoming a single parent, although it is sometimes difficult to have to deal with everything by myself. Between work, home, my daughter, my father and my friends, sometimes it’s hard not to have someone else with whom to share life's joys or sorrows Doing everything alone hasn’t really done Sloan any favors and many times I’ve been absent during crucial events. Last year she was a vampire on Halloween and not in as good a costume as I promised her. It was a pitiful one, where she had to use an old curtain and some food coloring that Perry gave us to simulate the blood. Thank heavens that all Sloan’s clothing is black, so we had no problem there. But although she said that she was grateful, I knew how disappointed she really was. Of course, all her classmates teased her, and her self-esteem decreased even more. I don't know if I’m doing enough to make her happy and that hurts me a lot."

"Cupcake, no. I am sure that in Sloan's eyes, you’re the best mom in the world. I've seen you with her and the way you look at her when you give her a hug or kiss. I’m certain that Sloan knows how much you love her."

Carmilla has stepped off the ledge and stops in front of you, taking care not to get too close to the edge of the building. You may notice that she wants to get closer, but you're not sure if it is for you to do so or if it has something to do with how high up you are.

"Thank you for tonight, Carm. I’ve never had told any of this to someone. Not to my closest friends, not even Danny."

"Thanks for confiding in me. Believe me, I understand, being a mother is not easy. It’s even harder when things don’t work out as you planned."

You smile widely to Carmilla, and she returned the smile.

Carmilla

Listening to Laura talking about Sloan has been somewhat difficult, yet enjoyable to the point of understanding how delicate it is to open up to someone else this way. You don't think you can be as open as her, but it’s a comfort to know that although her circumstances are different, she feels just as pressurized by motherhood as you do. You don’t know that you have done to deserve her trust, but you’re grateful to her and want to return the favor.

None of the women that you’ve been with understand the importance of your daughter in your life and you have never introduced any of them to Hayley. When Ell left,  you wanted to protect your daughter from going through the same issues as you did at her age when your father abandoned his family. From that day on, you decided that it’s best for your daughter to only have one mother in her life.

"Thanks for confiding in me. Believe me, I understand, being a mother is not easy. It’s even harder when things don’t work out as you planned."

Laura looks up with a smile which encourages you to share your own story, and for the first time in your life, you want to tell it. You want to tell all to Laura Hollis. Everything.

"It is true what Elsie said, Laura.  I’m not the girlfriend type. It wasn't until the last year of high school that I met the woman who I thought was the love of my life. Ell filled the void in me I fell madly in love with her, so much so that I did anything she asked without a second thought. We became girlfriends and Ell was my whole world. Literally. That first year, everything was incredible, we spent as much time together as we could. There were nights where I even snuck out of the house to see her. My family was suspicious of her, and my mother never approved of our relationship. My siblings tried to accept her for my sake, but never trusted her. Whenever I confronted them about it, it always ended in a fight, and I distanced myself from my family to protect my relationship with Ell."

You have never told this to anyone, and you feel as vulnerable as if you were completely naked in front of a murderous crowd with their torches and pitchforks. It seems that Laura notices this when she sits down on the blanket and pats the space beside her After covering yourself with the other blanket and settling beside her, you feel confident enough to continue your story.

"They all talk about how people feel disenchanted after a few months of a relationship. It took us a whole year. I was beginning to feel suffocated by her. While I loved to spend time with Ell, I had other things in my life too. I needed to attend classes and deal with my own friends and family. Ell felt threatened by all that. Any time that I had to be away from her, she would say that I would meet someone else and leave her. She found my friends annoying, and I couldn’t speak to a woman she considered even a little attractive because then she’d say that I was cheating on her. As ridiculous as it sounds, I actually began to sit at the back of the class or sit between two men so that she wouldn’t be unhappy. Nothing was ever enough. But I loved her so much, or thought I did, that I endured all her jealous behavior for almost five years."

You don't know how, but the presence of Laura next to you is comforting, and you find yourself leaning toward her. You didn’t expect her to notice, but one of her arms reaches around your shoulder and embraces you until you find your head resting in her lap.

"In our last year of university, I foolishly thought that I could save the relationship if I told Ell that I didn’t want to spend my life with anyone but her. I thought marrying her would be the answer, it would ensure that there was no one else. It didn’t work. The jealousy of Ell didn’t go away; it actually got worse. But we went ahead with our plans anyway and got married with just her friends, her family, and my family attending.

Only my mother and my siblings turned up for me because I had no friends left to invite. In fact, Ell asked me not to invite Mattie because she was the one who was the most against my relationship with her .   Mattie didn't like what I had become since Ell came into my life. I couldn’t uninvite my own sister from my wedding and Ell almost canceled the ceremony because of that. The first year of marriage had its good and bad moments. Sometimes we were happy simply because we were together and other days we just fought for no reason."

Chills run down your spine when Laura’s hand starts to play with your hair and caresses it with a delicacy that you have never received from another person; not even during the good times with Elle. You don't know when it began, but now you feel the tears rolling down your face.

Well, that’s a great impression you’ve made on your date with Laura! Crying into her lap and feeling sorry for yourself. Just pitiful, Karnstein.

The curious thing is that you don't think that Laura feels sorry for you. It’s not like any other occasion when you have to mention your divorce and people spout the usual platitudes such as 'I'm sorry,' ' that’s terrible,' ‘such a pity’ and the worst of all ‘I know how you feel.’ How can people who don't know what you feel pretend that they do? However, a mere touch from Laura tells you everything you need to know. You can just sense it.

"Ell always wanted to have children. I wasn’t too sure about this; my parents had three and were rarely there for us. I practically raised Will, and I didn't know if I was ready to do it again, especially with the way my marriage was going. But without my knowledge, Ell began visiting a pregnancy clinic. One day I came home from work, and the house was a complete mess. I thought that we had been broken into or something had happened because all our things were broken and thrown around the house. I found Ell in the spare room that we had decided to keep as a nursery in case we did decide to have a child someday.”

“She was unrecognizable, she was crying and hugging baby clothes that I didn't even know she had. Apparently, she had bought them for when she decided to surprise me with the news. But the problem was that she couldn’t become pregnant, and she knew that I wouldn’t agree to. After a few months, we talked about adoption. It was the only alternative. Ell promised me that things would be different after we adopted a daughter, which was what she wanted most in the world and that this would give stability to our marriage. I wanted to believe that was the right thing to do; I wanted to make her happy, and I agreed. Eventually, we finally found the girl Ell longed for. She was blonde like her, and Ell did not want to wait any longer. We adopted Hayley when she was six months old."

Your tears still haven’t ceased, and Laura pulls you closer, cradling you as if you were a little girl. It’s similar to the way you embrace Hayley during a stormy night. Minutes pass before you’re able to continue.

"When I finally held Hayley in my arms, I knew she was my life. As soon as I saw those brown eyes, I was a goner. Foolishly, I thought that everything would be fine then, that we would be the family that I didn’t know I craved and that Ell always said we could be. But Ell was still insecure, only this time it was not because of other women. It was because of our own child.”

“She said that Hayley had stolen my love for her, and began to neglect our daughter. When I’d come home from work, Hayley would be crying because she was hungry or needed a diaper change. I don’t know if she ever did anything more serious to her, but the fact that her basic needs weren’t being met terrified me. The fights between us were becoming more frequent and grew in intensity. Ell even threatened to return Hayley, as if she were an object, something that can just be discarded after a few months because it didn’t work the way you expected.”

“One day when I returned home, there was no sign of Ell anywhere. Hayley was crying again; it was heartbreaking because there was no one around to attend to her. I ran as fast as I could to her room and tried to calm her down. It seemed to take an eternity to get up the hallway to her room. I couldn't think of anything else, I just wanted to comfort her.”

“As soon as I had her in my arms and calmed her down a bit, I began to check the house. There was no sign that Ell had ever lived there. All her clothes and things were gone. The only thing that was left was a small note in our room saying she couldn’t do it anymore. That this was not what she wanted and that bringing Hayley into our lives had been our biggest mistake. So, she walked out on us.”

You didn’t think it was possible, but Laura hugs you even tighter. Turning in her embrace, you cling onto her as if she’d fade away if you let her go. You’re shivering and you know it’s not because it’s cold up on the roof. Laura is still rocking you in her arms, and gradually your body stops shaking. You don’t recall ever crying so much, not even on the day that Ell deserted you like most of the other people in your life.  From that day on you had to be strong for your daughter and all those feelings were bottled up. You were not going to let your child see you weak.

Laura begins to hum a lullaby, and you realize how exhausted you are after sharing that story. Your eyes are drooping with tiredness, and you need to process what you've had to relive this evening. Everything hurts as if you’ve just climbed out of a hell pit, but Laura is still here. She’s holding you safe, and for the first time in years, you feel that everything is going to be okay.

Laura

 You have no idea how much time has passed since Carmilla fell asleep in your arms and you gave into the temptation to do the same. But when you open your eyes again, she still hasn’t woken up.

You can't believe the hell this woman has been through. She seemed so wonderful, but you had no idea just how strong she was. After a stormy relationship and a failed marriage, she raised an amazing daughter that she never planned to have. That’s not something that just anyone could do. You thought that your story was sad, but you are sure that the strength that Carmilla has shown in moving forward for her daughter’s sake is extraordinary.

And despite the inner strength and independence she so clearly possesses, this impressive and beautiful woman is asleep in your arms like a defenseless child. You can’t be certain, but judging by her tears, Carmilla has never told anyone else this story and awful as it was, you feel privileged to hear it. You want to be the one to listen to all her fears and insecurities, but you also want to be the one who will help her to overcome them and be the cause of her future happiness.

Even with her eyes swollen from crying, her makeup ruined and the fact that she’s currently drooling on your lap, Carmilla Karnstein still looks like the most beautiful woman in the world. It’s not fair. This should not be possible, and yet despite everything, it is.

The sky is beginning to brighten in the east, and there isn’t much time left until the sun rises.

Your body feels sore, and your sitting position with Carmilla in your arms is getting increasingly uncomfortable. But you’d do all over again if that’s what she needs to feel safe.

The light begins to emerge on the horizon making her pale skin glow and caressing it as you wish you could with your lips. You’re envious that the first rays of the sun dare to touch her face when you can’t. As if it had a mind of its own, your right hand begins stroking and exploring her face until it rests on that exquisite jawline. Okay, this woman must definitely have been created by the gods, gods benevolent enough to want to share such beauty with mortals like you and you’ve never felt more blessed.

Carmilla shifts slightly, and you withdraw your hand from her cheeks, but the black-haired girl still doesn’t wake. She sighs deeply and licks her lips. It is a delicious torture to have this woman in your arms, so close that you could kiss her and yet so unattainable because you can't fathom how someone like her could ever notice you. Carmilla said she wasn’t girlfriend material and you don’t want a light and causal relationship, no matter how much you like her and want to be with her. You couldn’t do that to Sloan.

Carmilla probably doesn’t want anything serious with you, and you don't want to hurt your daughter. It would be terrible for her to be away from Hayley if something went wrong. Also, you’re sure that Carmilla would agree with you; your daughters must come before your own needs.

You should stop having those thoughts about Carmilla and see her only as the mother of your daughter’s best friend. The best you can hope for is to be platonic friends who share in the growth of their daughters. Nothing more.

You're so absorbed in your thoughts that you haven't noticed that Carmilla has already woken up and is looking at you patiently.

"Hey."

"Carm! How long have you been awake?"

Great, now you’re blushing again. There must be something you can do to stop it happening every time you hear her voice. Just one word from her and your face is illuminated like an ambulance siren.

But that voice and the way she speaks! You’re powerless. And she has decided to wake up with a smile on her face. Thanks for the heart attack, Carmilla!

"Just a few minutes, Creampuff."

"A few minutes! Why didn’t you say anything?"

"You look beautiful when you’re lost in thought. I didn't want to interrupt."

Is it possible for your face to get any redder? It must be because your cheeks have reached that level and it’s impossible to hide. Carmilla giggles at your expression.

"I don't know what you’re talking about," you say while trying to ignore the intensity of her gaze. Carmilla turns in your arms to take a closer look at you. She has an amused smile as she points at your forehead.

"Your face is so expressive, and I suspect that you have an internal dialog going on where you talk to yourself and react to each time. So, I really want to know what you were thinking about that had you frowning and biting your lip."

"Ahm… I…"

I was thinking I wanted to kiss you senseless, but that's never going to happen. It would be so easy to say that if your brain didn’t short circuit at that smug expression on her face. But thankfully the universe finally takes mercy on you when Carmilla’s phone starts ringing and interrupts the moment.

"Mattie!... Yes, of course I’m awake… What time is it?... Ten minutes, Mattie, ten minutes and I’ll be there."

Carmilla runs around clearing up the mess on the roof with one hand while talking on the phone and you help as best as you can. After returning everything to its place inside, both of you take the elevator to street level where she parked her car. You tag along even though she has to meet Mattie, because what else you can do?

Go to your house and continue the date? Sure, that’ll end well.

"Cupcake, forgive me; my sister needs her keys to the building immediately."

Okay, date’s over. You begin to take off her jacket and prepare for a walk of shame.

"Creampuff, wait!”

Damnit, what did you do?

"I, I thought…"

"Don't do it so early in the morning, it’ll run that beautiful face," she smirks. "What do you say to some breakfast after I drop off the keys?"

Now the smirk is replaced by a slight blush as she looks nervously at you and it’s probably the most adorable thing you have ever seen.

Carmilla Karnstein is nervous of me!

Your answer sticks in your throat and all you can do is nod while continuing to walk by her side as you look for her car.

Driving through the main shopping area of the city with Carmilla, you notice all the designer boutiques. But the one called ‘Madame Perrodon’ catches your attention; you’ve only been there a couple of times, but the memory makes you smile.

Finally, Carmilla pulls up in front of a huge apartment complex that’s nearly as luxurious as the Morgan Building. Carmilla opens the foyer door for you and waiting in the main reception is a woman that looks like a goddess. She radiates power and confidence, and the Louboutins on her feet look like they cost more than your entire wardrobe.

"Well, well! That must have been one hell of a date!" is the first thing she says when she sees both of you.

"Mattie, behave please. Laura, this is my sister Mattie. Mattie, she is my… Laura, this is Laura," says Carmilla who looks like she wants the ground to open up and swallow her. You feel the same.

"Nice to meet you, Laura. I hope that my sister has been treating you well."

The woman extends her hand, and the softness of her skin lets you know that she can afford the best when it comes to manicures and beauty treatments.

"Nice to meet you too, Mattie. It has been the best date of my life."

The words just come out, and Mattie’s stern expression is replaced by one of complete surprise. Carmilla looks the same, and now you’re wondering if there’s a deep enough hole to hide your embarrassment.

"Wow! I'd love to stay to hear all the details. Actually, no I wouldn’t. There is a line that I don't want to cross when it comes to my little sister's sexcapades."

"Mattie! No!"

"Oh, God! we didn’t…"

Mattie laughs at your reactions, but her amazement seems to increase.

"No need to apologize, darlings, we’re all adults here. However, Carmilla, I cannot deny that I am surprised at you if that’s true."

If looks could set someone on fire, you’re certain that Carmilla’s glare alone would have Mattie in flames by now.

"Okay, I’ll say no more. I must leave, or Mother will disown me if I arrive late. Carmilla, I hope that you have left everything in order. Mother cannot find out about this, or we’ll never hear the end of it.”

Carmilla hands the keys back to her sister and while hugging her goodbye, whispers something in her ear. Mattie smiles warmly and then turns to hug you goodbye too before striding toward a sumptuous black limousine that awaits her at the main entrance. A chauffeur is holding the door open for her.

Woah! Everything about Mattie screams class.

"So, how about breakfast?" asks Carmilla with a smile. She takes your hand in hers and leads you back to her car. Casual or not, you can’t deny that this is the first time in years that you’ve felt so happy with someone. Perhaps Carmilla’s right and you need to stop thinking so much. Maybe you should just let yourself enjoy the experience.

Especially as her hand feels so warm in yours as you walk together in the early morning sunshine.

Chapter Text

Carmilla

When you finally open your eyes, your first instinct is to scramble out of Laura's lap. But when you catch a glimpse of her face, lost in her own thoughts, you can’t bring yourself to do it. The blonde isn’t looking at anything in particular, but sometimes her lips move, and her expressions are constantly changing as if she’s holding an internal dialogue with herself. There’s a small dreamy smile at one stage, then her lips straighten into a thin line as if she was scolding herself. The one that charms you the most is when her forehead furrows as she’s biting her lower lip and it fills your mind with all sorts of thoughts of what you’d like to do with that mouth. At least until Laura notices you looking at her.

Your teasing is cut short when your phone rings. Mattie is on the brink of an aneurysm because it’s almost eight in the morning and there’s no sign of you returning her keys. As you try to tidy up the mess from last night (with Laura helping), you promise to drop them off at her apartment as quick as possible.

As you make your way down towards the car, you realize that you don't want finish the date like this. It looks like she’s making up her mind to go and you can’t let it end this way, so you put on your big girl pants and invite her to breakfast. There is still so much left unsaid between you. To your delight, Laura agrees to your plan. Great start to the day!

Although you’re well used to your sister’s impertinence, you don’t want her scaring Laura away. So you try to ignore her remarks and hand over the key cards. But you still take the time to embrace her before you leave and whisper ‘I like her, Matska.’ Using her full name lets her know just how serious you are. As she hugs Laura as well, you know she gets it. When Mattie finally leaves, you turn back to Laura.

"So, how about breakfast?"

Laura still looks a little hesitant though, so you offer her your hand, and she takes it.

You try to ignore how warm it feels in yours.

Laura decides that it’s her turn to treat you. She’s rambling about the best pancakes that you will ever taste in your life, and at this stage, you can't deny Laura Hollis anything. Even with tousled hair and tired eyes, her face lights up with delight when she describes them. If you had any lingering doubts about Laura Hollis, this alone has removed them. There’s just something about her.

Laura gives you the directions to the cafe, and as soon as you reach the street, you realize that you know this place. It’s a bittersweet memory. This a place that you’ve visited so many times with Ell. The Lustig Cafe is still open after all this time. The walls seem to have got a fresh coat of paint, but all the battered tables and chairs seem to be the same ones as when you last set foot here. That was the same day that Ell made a huge scene when a waitress complimented your leather pants.

"Laura!"

A brunette with curly hair leaves her place behind the counter as soon as you enter. The woman obviously knows the blonde well and gives her a heartfelt hug.

"Mel! Please tell me that you have a place for two."

"Of course. Is Sloan with you?" asks Mel, looking past Laura .

"No, not today. I left her with Perry and Laf. Mel, this is my friend, Carmilla."

Mel nods at you in greeting and regards you curiously.

"Do I know you?"

"I don't know, but it’s been a while since I’ve been here."

Laura is stunned by your reply, and Mel doesn’t mention it again as she guides you to a table and takes your orders. Of course, Laura Hollis can't ask for anything other than pancakes with chocolate chips and your order some normal ones with bacon on the side. Laura tells you that they’re Sloan’s favorite and you smile at that new piece of information.

When Mel leaves to get your orders ready, you ask Laura for a few minutes to touch up your makeup which is a disaster. Mattie didn’t appear to have noticed when you met or perhaps she was just too polite to comment on it. Whatever the reason, you’re grateful she didn’t.

When you return to the table, Laura takes the opportunity to use the bathroom, and you take a second look at the cafe. Memories flood your mind; Ell and you having coffee after your classes, the tables covered with books while studying for your exams, uncomfortable meetings with your friends and Ell or her friends and you. When it was the latter, you don't have anything to talk about.

Ell constantly arriving late for dates.

Ell and her outrage when she thought some girl was flirting with you,  

Ell and your last visit here when she yelled at you in front of everyone for daring to smile at the waitress who complimented your outfit.

"Who’s the one with the internal dialogue now?"

It’s as if the sweetness of Laura’s voice pulls you back from those dark places. It’s like the time at her house when you were dreaming, and your name on her lips tore away that nightmare. Her voice, her always patient voice.

"Yeah, But I bet it didn't look remotely like your face this morning," you say with a teasing smile.

In the time that you have spent with Laura, making her blush has officially become your new favorite pastime. It’s fun to see how red her face gets. You've taken it as a personal challenge. This time is no different, and your smile grows larger when you see that you’ve succeeded again.

Mel returns with two plates in her hands and places them in front of you.

"I’ve definitely seen you before. You may not have the eyeliner, the disaffected look or the combat boots, but a face like yours isn’t easily forgotten."

You wish you could shove those words back down Mel’s throat. It’s like living that scenario all over again, and you’re panic-stricken. What if Laura reacts badly to it?

"I don’t doubt it,” says Laura with a giggle while pouring an ungodly amount of maple syrup on her breakfast. You relax again and remind yourself that you’re with Laura, a woman who is the exact opposite of your ex-wife. You breathe again and see that Mel is waiting expectantly for your answer.

Wait, did Laura just gave you a compliment too? Oh! She did.

"I used to come here a long time ago," you reply.

"Of course! You came in almost every afternoon with your girlfriend. I remember both of you ordering bucket loads of coffee when you were studying. Oh! I also remember she got really mad when I said I loved your look."

Mel laughs uproariously at the memory. Of course she would, for it had to be the most ridiculous thing ever to see a grown woman lost all reason because of a friendly throwaway compliment. It’s a pity that you can't look back at it the same way.

Laura spots your discomfort and quickly asks Mel for a coffee for you and hot chocolate for her, saying that she can’t enjoy her pancakes without it. Mel takes the hint and leaves while you try to forget the memory. Laura places one of her hands on top of yours, the same one that had gone white from gripping your fork so tightly.

"Carm, I’m sorry. I didn't know you knew this place. We can leave if you want. I used to come here all the time during my years in Silas and then with Sloan when we went out for breakfast. If you prefer, we can go somewhere else."

"No," i s all you can say as you relax your grip on the fork. The pain of that memory is mitigated when you look into her eyes. You’re here with Laura now, and those memories have no right to ruin this moment.

"No, Cupcake. I’m good here. Let’s enjoy our breakfast; it really smells delicious."

She loosens her grip on your hand, but you cling on to it. Laura grins while she cuts through her pancakes with the fork in her other hand and stuffs a huge chunk into her mouth in the least graceful way possible. You don't know if it was intentional, but you can't help but laugh, and she laughs with you. Laura Hollis is something else!

Mel returns with your drinks, and you notice her stunned expression when she sees your intertwined hands on the table.

"Uhm… Oops! Guys, this breakfast is on me."

"What? No, Mel, that’s not necessary."

Laura tries to take her hand from yours, but you grasp it tighter. No, you’re not letting go yet.

She insists again, and a reluctant Laura finally gives in when Mel reminds her that thanks to Laura’s advice and encouragement, she went from being a part-time waitress at the Lustig to being the owner. It seems that Laura can only bring blessings to the lives of all who know her.

Mel leaves to look after another customer, and both of you return to your breakfast. Neither of you releases each other’s hands.

Definitely one of your best days!

Laura

Okay, maybe it wasn’t  your best idea to bring Carmilla here. You were sure it would be safe, and that you would enjoy a pleasant breakfast together. It would never have occurred to you that Carmilla and her ex-wife were regulars here. And what were the odds that Mel would have witnessed all the unpleasant times between her and Ell?

But she relaxes at your touch and happiness overwhelmed you when her grip tightens on yours. After a few minutes of companionable silence, Carmilla clears her throat.

"Thank you, Creampuff."

"You have nothing to be grateful for, Carm. I'm sorry again that I brought you here."

"Laura, I'm serious. Thank you. I never thought I could return to a place that had so many bad memories. But your presence alone makes me feel strong enough to stay. Many years have passed and thanks to you I think it is time to get over it. Really, thank you."

Carmilla’s words make you fall in love a little more.

Wait, fall in love? Who said anything about love?

You're screwed, Hollis! No, no, no, no. No, that was not what you meant. Attraction, what you feel for Carmilla is just attraction because well, she’s a very beautiful woman. But she’s also a loving mother who cannot do enough for her daughter. A successful professional that excels in her field. A strong woman that in spite of the blows that life has dealt her continues to stand tall and give you that beautiful smile that she doesn’t seem to share with just anyone…

Oh, crap!

"Laura? Did I say something wrong? Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you."

"What? No, Carm! What you said was really sweet.”

"Then what?"

"What?"

"Could you tell me why you banged your forehead against the table and haven’t raised your head since?"

Oh, Shit! You hadn’t even noticed that you did that. You raise your head slowly and notice that everyone in the café is staring at you.

Carmilla is looking at you in wonder and is trying her best not to smile. You can’t even look at her directly. One night with her and she makes you feel things that you’ve never felt for anyone else.

Carmilla extends her hand to remove some of the hair that has been stuck to your forehead and rubs your eyebrows carefully. Apparently, hitting your head against the table wasn’t enough to make a fool of yourself. Some of the maple syrup dripped off your plate and is now stuck to your face.

You take a deep breath to calm your nerves, but you almost choke on it when the black haired girl takes the thumb she used to clean the maple syrup from your face and licks it clean.

Stupid Carmilla with her tempting red lips!

How could you even imagine that this goddess can look at you and overlook your klutzy antics? But then Carmilla responds to your silent question when she strokes your cheeks with the back of her hand, and you can't do anything other than close your eyes to savor the sensation. Your head involuntarily rests in your other hand to enjoy it more.

"Uhm… can I bring you guys anything else?"

Carmilla immediately removed her hand from your face, and although you've always been a peaceful woman, you could kill Mel for this interruption.

"I think it is time to go home, Cupcake. Our daughters probably miss us."

"Laura, you never told me that Carmilla was Sloan’s mother! Your daughters? Do you have more girls?"

Okay, you’re absolutely going to krav-maga Mel the next time you visit the Lustig. Or maybe not, when you notice Carmilla’s reaction, who laughs uproariously at her comment and explains that each of you is the mother of a little girl. You don't know if you feel relieved or disappointed, probably the latter if you had to be truthful.

Carmilla requests the tab, forgetting Mel’s earlier offer. But Mel doesn’t and further adds that she hoped that it would not be the last time that she saw both of you here. You hope so too.

The journey home passes too quickly; you don't want Carmilla to leave, ever if possible. But you have been together at least twelve hours, and the date is over. Twelve hours have been sufficient to realize that your heart expands when she’s around.

And of course, Carmilla opens the car door for you and extends her hand to help you out. While walking to the door of your house, she places her hand on your waist, and you close your eyes again to try and calm your breathing.

At your door, somehow you manage to contain yourself when you have to say goodbye.

Don’t go!

But that would be a terrible way to end everything, so you say the first decent thing that comes to mind.

"Thanks for the date, Carm. I really enjoyed the night."

"I should be thanking you, Laura. I enjoyed last night too. And this morning."

The sincerity in her words makes you melt a little more, and you are sure that if you weren’t leaning against the front door, you’d have a serious case of the vapors now. Or possibly jump her. And wouldn’t that be just ridiculous of you?

Both of you hesitate for a moment but thank God Carmilla is the braver one. She leans closer to you, ever so slowly and the seconds seem to pass like centuries. When you feel her breath on your lips, you cannot help but lick them in anticipation. You close your eyes to enjoy the moment, but she suddenly changes course, and she presses a kiss against your cheek.

What the hell?

"Have a nice day, Cupcake," she whispers into your ear.

You sense rather than see Carmilla walking back towards her car and finally open your eyes when you hear her opening the door. She smiles at you, and you do your best to smile back. You’re certain that the disappointment shows on your face, but she doesn’t seem to notice.

But when Carmilla drives away, you remember that kiss and touch the spot where your cheek is still tingling. Although it didn’t end the way you expected, you don't have any complaints about last night.

The first thing you do when you enter your house and notice the book on the table is to call Laf and Perry, You want to tell them everything, but you also want to check in on Sloan. Y friends care for her like she was their own child, but Sloan is always a little uncomfortable when you’re not around.

No big surprise when Laf answers the phone first.

"Tell me you just woke up a hangover and after the best sex you've had in years."

And naturally, those are the first words that come out of their mouth.

"LaFontaine!" says a horrified voice in the background that can only belong to Perry. There’s nothing else you can do except laugh.

"I can't tell you that, but I can tell you that it was the best date I ever had, that we had breakfast together and Carmilla has just left."

"Oh! Breakfast together? Wait a minute. Does that mean there was no hangover or no great sex?”

Perry groans in the distance while LaFontaine laughs.

"There was no sex, we didn’t even kiss. Unless you count the goodbye kiss. I suppose it’s a start. But there was something else, an intimacy that only comes through mutual trust.”

"Wow! Sounds like the pair of you hit it off, Laura."

"LaF, I don't know what to do. Carmilla is perfect, but I don't know if she’s actually interested in me. With what you said to me and something that happened last night, I still not sure if I want to take a chance on seeing her again. I’m not sure if  she’s looking for a relationship or just wants to add me to her list of conquests."

"Hey! Steady on, Laur. It was your first date, and you felt there was a spark there. I’m not saying that just to tease you. Why don’t you call over and tell us everything? I want to hear all the details, even if there are no X-rated bits.”

"Oh, my God!  Laura dear, just come over for lunch. Sloan has been asking about you. She’s in the shower but as soon she’s finished, we’ll let her know that you’re coming."

After thanking Perry, you hang up and prepare to run a bath. You notice the bouquet of flowers that Carmilla gave you the night before, and you take a sniff of them. There’s a card there that you hadn’t noticed last night. It has the name of the florist, a name that you recognize instantly. It’s from Madame Perrodons.

You open the card slowly and read the legend that is printed on the inside.

www.madameperrodon.com

 Find your flowers and their meaning.

Of all the florists in town, Carmilla picked the one owned by Perry’s parents. 

It’s not until you go to take off your dress that you realize that you’re still wearing Carmilla’s blazer. You hadn’t taken it off since last night, but it still smells of her. You hug the garment close before taking off your clothes. While waiting for the bath to fill, you open your laptop to pull up the florist's web page. You skim through the catalog that pops up on your laptop until you find the exact bouquet that Carmilla chose for you.

Giving flowers is an act of love. From time immemorial, mankind has used it as a way to show their feelings for one other. Each flower has a different meaning depending on the message you want to convey.

When you finally find it and read its meaning, you can't help shedding a tear and smiling like an idiot at your computer screen.

There’s no denying it any longer. You're falling in love with Carmilla Karnstein.

Carmilla

You’re convinced that you had never met anyone like Laura Hollis. She is the only reason you can banish the bad memories of the Lustig. But banging her forehead against the table top and her mortified expression when she got maple syrup all over her face is enough to convince you that this wonderful, yet dorky girl, is the most adorable person you have ever met in your life.

You just can’t help yourself. You clean the syrup off and caress her face tenderly. It’s the only way in which Laura Hollis deserves to be touched.

Honestly though, you were uncertain whether you wanted to thank or kill Mel for interrupting. You had eyes for no one else except this sweet woman, and you were a split second away from kissing her in front of everyone. Then again, maybe you should thank Mel. You don't want to move too fast; it’s only the first date, and you don't want to scare Laura off.

If she were anyone else, you’d be dumping her after a night of unrestrained but empty sex. Breakfast wouldn’t be an option either.

Not that you’d be offering anyway.

But she isn’t just any woman. It’s Laura Hollis. Laura Hollis that in just a few hours has captured your heart.

Woah, wait a minute. Since when did you become so corny, Karnstein ?

Oh, right! From the moment Laura came into your life.

But capturing your heart? Is that going too fast? She’s earned your respect and perhaps your sympathy. And Laura is a beautiful woman. You can't deny you’re attracted to her. Her beauty is unmatched, and you’d be a fool to deny that. But she’s also a concerned and loving mother who would do anything to help her daughter. She’s well-known in her field for her excellent work. It goes beyond what she reports on air; she genuinely feels a responsibility to make the world a better place. She’s the funniest woman you’ve ever met and somehow a moment never passed last night where she didn’t make you laugh, be it intentional or otherwise.

Her fortitude is impressive too. She made some tough decisions in life after the death of her mother, and they don’t seem to have changed her character at all. She’s always smiling, always happy and infecting others with her own happiness.

Including you.

Oh, no.

When you leave the Lustig, it takes all your strength not to grab Laura’s hand in yours because you don’t think you’ll be able to let it go again when you drop her home. So you drive as fast as you can, even though you don't want this to end. On the other hand, you have to act like a gentlewoman in case you do something impetuous. You have to do this the right way.

But you can’t fully contain yourself because when you help her get out of your car, you automatically place your arm around her waist.

Why do you have to leave?

After a few moments of awkward silence, you decide to take the first step. As you draw closer to Laura, your eyes fall directly to her lips, Lips that you're dying to kiss, but you must be strong. You don't want to scare Laura. But when you see her tongue between her lips making them appear the most appetizing delicacy in the world, it’s almost too tempting..

You realize that you are not ready, but you don't want to ruin the chance that something more happens between you, so you decide that it’s better to take that first step slowly and see how things work out between you. At the last second, you give her a kiss on the cheek, and even that leaves your lips tingling.

You get out of there before you do something stupid.

On the way home you can't stop thinking about the wonderful night you have shared with Laura. Her looks, her arm around your body, her hand in yours, her scent of sweet vanilla, cinnamon and chocolate when you kissed her. Laura Hollis’s addiction to sweets is very noticeable.

Your vivid dream of the blond is interrupted when your phone rings.

"Karnstein here."

"Mommy!"

"Cupcake! Is everything okay?"

"Yes! Uncle Willy and SJ are taking me to the cinema. Do you want to come with us?"

“I’m just coming home now. Do you already have tickets?"

"Yes! Did you bring Laura home?”

Oh, crap! You’re going to murder William when you get home, just as soon as you find the sharpest kitchen knife.

"Cupcake, how did you know that I was with Laura?"

"You looked so happy last night when you put me to bed. You only look like that when you’re going to meet Laura.”

You’ll let William live this time. Your daughter may be young, but she’s obviously not stupid when it comes to you and Laura.

"I’ll tell you what. What if we all met up after the movie and we can go to eat anywhere you like.”

"Really, I get to choose?"

"Yes cupcake, I promise."

You say goodbye to Hayley although you’re dying to see her again to give her a hug. The talk that you and Laura had the previous night has made you understand how much it means to have Hayley in your life. It’s not that you ever doubted it, but you’re more certain than ever that Ell was wrong. Hayley was never a mistake.

After so long, maybe even the time spent with Ell wasn’t either. If you had to go through the last few years again to have Hayley in your life, to watch her grow and love and learn, then you would do it without a second thought.  You’d even relive the pain of Ell abandoning both of you. Today, all because of Hayley, you dated someone you wouldn’t have met if she wasn’t your daughter.

***

"You have a good reason for this?"

"I'm going to tell you how I knew that your first marriage was going to fail and why these flowers are the best choice."

The owner looked behind the counter for a yellow tulip and played with it in her hands as she regarded  you seriously .

"People think that yellow represents joy because they think it’s a bright, lively color. But the flowers speak to us from a deeper level. Tulips are beautiful flowers, but they’re fragile. If you don’t pay constant attention to them, they die very easily. Yellow tulips may be more attractive than the others, but from ancient times they have always symbolized hopeless love."

You froze for a moment. You didn't have the slightest idea of that. The only reason you bought those flowers for Ell was because she said they were her favorites.

The owner puts the tulip down and toke back the small white flower that she gave you. She handled it carefully because it was so tiny and delicate that it looked like it would break if you looked at it wrong.

"This is a Narcissus, an overlooked flower because of its size and despised because it was associated with the old Greek legend where Narcissus loved no one but himself. So the people began to refer to it as a sign of selfishness. But isn't love itself a selfish act? Selfishness has a negative connotation when it makes us strive for our own happiness. But how can I love others if I don’t love myself first? Some philosophers say a rational egoism allows us to be true to ourselves and that means that we can live for others in a more reasoned way, to be the best possible person we can be for them.” 

“That’s why the white narcissus stands for pure love; what love can be purer than the love we have for ourselves? What’s the purest love you can give to others other than the love that rises out of love for ourselves? But it also represents chivalry, of giving yourself completely to someone you love. And finally, it stands for respect. When we respect ourselves, then we can truly respect others.”

“So tell me, is this flower as inconsequential as you thought? Or perhaps more worthy of veneration? Most pass it by without even noticing it, and some may even tread on it because it’s so small. But its real beauty can only be admired by someone who possesses the ability to see past its appearance and size.”

You smile when you recall her last words. Laura Hollis is definitely small and most definitely beautiful. But she has so many other wonderful qualities that are worthy of your admiration. Her beauty is soul deep.

You don't know how long you spent in your garage reviewing your visit to the florist. But there’s only one conclusion you can come to.

You're falling in love with Laura Hollis .

Chapter Text

Laura

It has been three weeks since your date with Carmilla.

From the moment you realized what you felt for her, you haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. Unfortunately, the only contact you’ve had with each other since then has been a constant exchange of texts.

Still, you’ve been incredibly busy since   you broke the story about  the misappropriation  of civil service pension funds by the Prime Minister’s office. But it’s gotten even harder in the last few weeks due to the intervention of their legal team. The relationship with your main sources has been affected; some have received anonymous threats against them and their family, others have made a sudden killing on the stock market and have left the city, making it impossible for them to ratify their testimonies. One even won the lottery ‘by chance’ and vanished without a trace.

They’re certainly mounting a strong defense ,  although not in the  most honest way. Since they took over, all of the most crucial witnesses have been intimidated or bought off. You don't know how much they’re earning for this, but it’s certain that this bloodsucking firm is earning a fortune out of this case, all paid out of taxpayers money. As far as your concerned, ‘bloodsucker’ is the appropriate description as they’re draining the life out of your story and sources.

It’s become a mess that has taken over your life, and you’re usually not home until Sloan’s bedtime. The only time you see her awake is when you drive her to school, and you’ve been so busy that she’s been spent the last two weekends at your father’s house. You’re a little anxious that Sloan is spending so much time away from home, especially when it’s at your father’s home.

It’s is not that you don’t love your father, but he’s always been overprotective when it comes to the people he loves. When you were a girl, he never let play outside the home without knee pads, elbow pads or a helmet. Thankfully your mother secretly helped you take them off when she brought you to the park so that you could run and play without looking ridiculous. Even though you’re an adult now and don’t have to wear them anymore, you somehow manage to stumble over everything in your way. You were twelve when you managed to scrape your knee for the first time after tripping on your best friends patio; it was also the first time you were allowed to go home on your own without adult supervision. You were so proud of your wound which lasted until your father discovered what happened.

After that, he never allowed you to cross the street on your own for a few years.

Sure, you love your father, but it was still fun to see his reactions when he realized that how daring you were getting as you became an adolescent, especially when you didn’t have permission to be out and had climbed the back wall to go to a party with your friends. It’s still funny to remember the time that you tried to get back in through the kitchen window and knocked everything off the breakfast bar, making enough noise to wake the dead. Fortunately, your mother was on the couch in the living room, and your father appeared in his boxers and baseball bat in hand ready to bludgeon what he thought might be a thief or a serial killer. Yes, apparently to your father a baseball bat would be enough to stop a serial killer.

Your mother covered for you by saying a large hungry raccoon had broken into the kitchen and was able to reassure your father. She told him to go back to bed as he had to be up for work in a few hours while both of you tidied up the kitchen. To this day, you’re not sure if he swallowed that, especially as you were still in your party clothes instead of your pajamas.

That was  the  night that you  know  that  your  mother  had realized what you were doing and stayed up until she heard you come home. She had never told you or your father. From that night on, you never went out without telling your mother where you were going.

But your mother is no longer here, and your father’s overprotective nature was only accentuated when she died. Her sudden death made him think that none of his care had been sufficient to keep her from harm. There was no precaution so small that it could be overlooked. Unfortunately, the victim of what was now Sloan.

The good thing is that your daughter is not a girl who runs or stumbles anywhere, preferring to sit and read under the lemon tree in your parents' house. The bad thing is that your father believes that if she remains under the sun all those hours that she’ll die of dehydration or heat stroke or that she’d be attacked by fire ants or something equally stupid.

You try not to think too much about what Sloan must be going through. But these weekends with you are added to the list of things that you have to make up for where she’s concerned. It’s a long list, and you don’t know if you’ll ever have time to make up for your failings as a mother. But then you remember Carmilla’s words from your date, and for some reason, it relieves your broken heart a little.

In addition to  this, you  can't stop thinking about the constant messages between Carmilla and you even though none of them have touched on the  most obvious thing . Sometimes you think you have the courage to  confess your feelings, but then you realize that you are very cowardly. You’re afraid to face up to the fact that maybe that they’re not reciprocated.

At the start of the fourth week, you call into Laf and Perry’s to pick up Sloan where she’s been spending the evenings while you try to work on your story.

"Do my eyes deceive me? Is it really you, Laura Hollis?"

"Ha-ha, Laf. Don’t remind me that I’m starting to look like Tom Hanks from Castaway with all the days I’ve been away from home."

"Hmm. Nope, sorry Laura. Not even Tom had a beard as impressive as yours."

Even in your tired state, you can't deny that their comment is hilarious and laugh. Perry hugs you with such force that you think your lungs are going to collapse. The twins do the same when their mother releases you before your daughter rises to give you the hug that you've really needed since the day began.

.

"Ready for the weekend, Laura?" asks Perry.

For a  moment you  don't know  she’s   talking about, then remember that  your  birthday is next week and that your friends have spent months planning for the occasion. It is not that you hate your birthday, but you weren’t exactly the most popular person in school after your ninth birthday party. That was the one where your father wouldn’t let your friends use the trampoline if all of you did not use helmets that he rented. After that, you spent the following years alone with your parents and one or two of your best friends, Danny being one of them.

That changed when Lafontaine, Perry, and Kirsch came into your life. From your first birthday at the university, your friends never let the day pass and always tried to give you the best party. Sometimes you think that they do so with the sole purpose of making you recover the fun experiences that you missed out on from your childhood. You don’t think it’s necessary, but their intentions are good, and you must admit that Laf and Perry’s parties are always entertaining.

"Wow! With everything that’s going on at work, I forgot that it’s my birthday.”

"Do n't worry, L. Perr and I already have everything ready," replies Laf.

Perry clears her throat all of a sudden, looking very unimpressed.

"Well, actually Perr  has  everything  ready,” said Laf, looking very sheepish after their wife’s reprimand. “I only helped to choose the theme for the party.”

Of course, you find the couples dynamic endearing and love the way their relationship has thrived despite their differences.

"I still can't believe I forgot my own birthday. Of course, I'm excited now that you mentioned it. What’s this year’s theme?"

"No, no, no. We want it to be a surprise,” replies Perry.  You have nothing to worry about because we will send you and Sloan your costumes on Saturday morning. Fortunately, I have both your measurements from last year, and I don't think that they’ll have changed a lot .

"But we promise you that it will be one of your best birthdays," adds Laf, waggling their eyebrows suggestively.

As usual, you can only laugh at Laf’s behavior before you take your leave of them and walk back to your car with Sloan.

“I’m sorry I’ve been away so much Sloan. I promise you that we’ll have a good time on my birthday. I know you don’t like parties that much, but try and have fun with the twins, okay?”

"It’s okay, Mom. I understand about your work and the party. I think that I’ll have fun,” replies Sloan with a smile.

Those  smiles  have  been more frequent since Hayley and she became friends. You will always be grateful for the little blondes positive influence on your daughter's mood.

Perhaps Lafontaine is right; maybe this will be one of your best birthdays ever.

Carmilla

Creampuff:

I'm sorry. S just falling asleep. We’re dead tired. Are you still in the office? Is Hayley with Will?

Carm:

Yes, and they’re both with SJ. It’s so obvious Will is into her. The other day, he claimed that an anchovy had gotten into SJ’s hair when I found him running his fingers through it. Isn’t that ridiculous?

Creampuff:

Hahaha. Completely absurd. They obviously have feelings for each other. I don’t understand why they don’t admit it.

Carm:

I agree 100%. It is stupid to deny it, especially when everyone else can see it.

Okay, maybe not ‘everyone’ can speak about their feelings for someone else; especially if it’s you and your own feelings for Laura Hollis. You’ve felt this way for the past three weeks, but haven’t been able to talk to anyone about it, especially not to Laura. Because well, you may not do the whole feelings thing, and there’s certainly no way in hell that you’d ever speak of them over a phone line.

Even if you were brave enough to do it in person, Laura hasn’t been free since your last date. Besides even she was, it’s not like you’d have run over to her house to declare your love for her.

Even by text,   Laura  has  a certain charm that makes your stomach do flip-flops . It’s as if your feelings grow a little more each time your phone rings or vibrates with one of her messages. Even though you haven’t seen each other in the last three weeks, both of you have spoken every day since the date. Sometimes both of you have been up until dawn because neither of you was willing to end the conversation.

After your last message, Laura was silent for a few minutes which felt like an eternity to you. When she finally replied, it was only to say she had to finish up at work and say goodbye because apparently, she hadn’t been sleeping well for the past few days. That might be something to do with the fact that in addition to disturbing her at work, all your messaging has been ruining her sleep. But you don’t want to seem pushy or disappointed, so you wish her a good night.

Although perhaps finishing it with Good night, Creampuff. Sleep well :** may have been too much, but you’d already pressed ‘send, ’ and there's nothing you can do to recall it. Hopefully, Laura was too sleepy to notice.

I thought that you grew out of puberty years ago, Karnstein! Sending cute emoticons in your messages as if you were a teenager with a crush on the captain of the cheerleading squad.

You try to redirect your attention to the current campaign you’re working on. It seems you’re going to have spend all night on this one, but after a few minutes consulting with your creative team, you’re interrupted by your phone ringing again. You don’t recognize the number and tell your staff to take a coffee break to give yourself time to answer.

"Karnstein here."

"Uhm..."

You can hear breathing and nothing else at the other end. Perfect, just what you needed, a pervert calling you on your personal number.

"Look dimwit, that’s the last time you call this number with this shit because the next…"

"Wow! Steady on, Karnstein. I can see that motherhood hasn't softened you a bit."

That voice.

It may not sound the same, but you’d still recognize that voice anywhere.

"Lafontaine?"

"And I see that your memory also remains intact. Hello, Carmilla."

"Lafontaine! But how?"

You’re completely lost. You don't know how Lafontaine got your number after losing touch with them so many years ago. You feel slightly guilty when you remember your last conversation with Ell regarding the redhead.

You met Lafontaine when they started high school. The fact of being so different from the rest of  the student population helped develop a bond between both of you. You respected them because they always kept calm when others tormented and insulted them especially when they came out as non-binary. You even remember the day t hat Lafontaine decided that  you  were friends  when  you  got up  in  the middle  of class  to defend them from the stupid math teacher  when he refused to call them anything other than ‘Susan’ despite multiple requests to stop .

When you finally got out of detention that afternoon, Lafontaine was waiting outside with Will, who was barely a child at the time. They had stayed with him until you were released and had even bought him a couple of slices of pizza in the cafeteria as thanks for your act of support.

You and Lafontaine were not  the  typical high school friends who met in  the afternoon  to paint their nails or share secrets of who their current crush was. You just enjoyed each other’s company and didn’t look for anything else in return. Many of your afternoons were spent in their father's basement, which Laf had turned into a cave cum lair worthy of a James Bond villain. Sometimes they let Will join them too if he was willing to serve as a guinea pig for Lafontaine’s experiments. Of course, you always had to be careful that these didn’t involve explosives or toxic chemicals that would harm your brother.

Although given the way that your brother behaves sometimes, you’re not certain that he hasn’t been brain damaged from some of Laf’s other experiments. One day you'll find the time to test that theory.

The redhead was the first to know that you had fallen in love with Ell. After a host of cheerleaders, choir singers, half the swim team and countless ‘study buddies’ you fell hard for the blonde. They even helped to organize the date where you asked her to be your girlfriend. But as the months passed, you began to spend less and less time with Laf because most of your free time was spent with Ell. Sometimes you had to lie to your girlfriend and tell her that your mother had returned from a business trip or holiday with one of her boyfriends and you needed to be at home. It was only then that you could escape to Laf’s to hang out with them.

Lafontaine began to suspect that your relationship with Ell was toxic and asked you to try to and establish some ground rules with her. It had already been at least three months since you had even spoken to them in the classes you both shared. When you tried to do everything they advised, Ell demanded that you stop seeing Laf. In her words, you were going to start college and didn't have any time to focus on anything other than your studies and her. When you recall her words, you can’t believe how stupid you were to believe all that crap.

You never  wanted to  tell your  friend  what  was really happening ,  so  you decided  that  it was best to break off the friendship graduall y. Each time they invited you to hang out, you would spout the most ridiculous lies. Sometimes it would be that Will was sick; in retrospect, he must have been devastated at all the times you made him lie to Laf about that. Sometimes it was that you and Ell were having dinner with your parents or that Mattie was in the city and needed you for something or that you had to study and so on. You’re well aware that Laf stopped believing any of your excuses, but for the sake of your friendship, they did not let you know how disappointed they were. Eventually, they stopped asking.

But now  they’re on the phone , and  it seems  as if it was only yesterday that Lafontaine invited you to hang out at their lair where you’d read your favorite books while they gleefully experimented with something that usually involved test tubes, flasks, and various chemicals.

"I have my methods Karnstein. Which basically means that Sloan asked Hayley for your number.”

Sloan? Hayley? What do they  have  to do with Lafontaine? You hear a laugh that makes you realize that you spoke that out loud.

"Never mind Karnstein. We’ll have plenty of time to catch up. What’s important now is that  this  conversation is between you and me. Laura isn’t to know about this. Next Saturday is her birthday, and we know that  you and her  are 'friends.' We’re having the party at our house, and we want you and your daughter to help us surprise Laura."

You roll your eyes because you can clearly imagine the expression on their face at the mention of the word 'friends.'

"Of course. Laura won’t know a thing. Hayley and I will be there."

"Wait. There’s one other thing. Ahm… all of Laura’s parties have a theme, so to speak. My wife helps all our friends with their costumes to make sure they’re appropriate to the theme of the party. She’ll need to spend  Friday afternoon on the last details to make sure everything is ready.”

"Lafontaine, what do you mean 'costumes'?"

"Come on, Karnstein, you useless lesbian. It’s Laura’s birthday, you can't refuse."

And maybe, just maybe, Lafontaine is right. There’s very little that you’d deny Laura. But you’re a little afraid of what sort of costume you’d have to wear for this party.

Before  saying goodbye, you discover that Lafontaine’s wife is  none other  than Lola Perry, the curly redheaded counselor at Hayley and Sloan’s school. Which makes sense considering that entering her office is like walking into a sacred, untouchable area where everything is spotless and not a thing is out of place.

When you hang up, your team is waiting for you, ready to continue working through the night. Reluctantly, you put all your thoughts of Laura to one side until tomorrow. That’s enough time to worry that you only have four days to find the perfect gift for Laura Hollis.

Laura

A  thunderous crash shocks you awake, and you’re filled with rage  because you were having a rather nice dream about meeting up with Carmilla again. It’s not if you’d had been doing that continuously since your date and after all the messages that have been passed between both of you. Sort of.

It is not until you wake up completely that you realize that the noise comes from downstairs and the first thing you do is to take the bat you have under your bed. It goes without saying that it’s a gift from your dad and you run awkwardly down the stairs while uttering your most terrifying scream. Well, it sounds terrifying to you at least.

In the kitchen, you’re met by your daughter who raises one eyebrow in confusion at the bat. Otherwise, she looks completely unfazed at your entrance. You haven’t been able to scare a small child, and you lower the bat in embarrassment. Meanwhile, Sloan gets the broom to sweep up the remains of a glass dish.

"I'm sorry, ma. I wanted to borrow one of the dishes, but it slipped out of my hand."

You’re almost in tears   at the little nickname. In all your years together, Sloan has never expressed herself so openly before. 

"It’s okay Sloan, it’s only a dish. Are you okay?"

"Sure, now that I survived the attack of my favorite gangster,” says your daughter with a smile.

Honestly, embarrassment has never felt so good to you.

"I'm sorry. Your grandfather wanted us to be 'protected' and I… Sloan why did you need the dish?”

"I was going to make you breakfast in bed. Hayley gave me  the  recipe  from SJ to prepare their  waffles  or as she calls them    'the  most  scrumptious  Belgian waffles in the whole world.' According to her,  when it’s her mom's  birthday, SJ  arrives  early to prepare them, and Hayley brings them to her in bed . But I didn't have anyone to help me  this  morning,  so I  asked  Perry to help me prepare them at home yesterday, and  this  morning I  only had  to heat them in the microwave to  serve them,  but the  plate  slipped out of  my  hand.  I  'm sorry,  really. I wanted to surprise you, just not this way."

If Sloan calling you ‘Ma’ hadn’t affected you fully ,  her explanation about the waffles finished the job. Dropping the bat to embrace your little daughter, you realize that this is the first time you heard Sloan speak so much at one time. She seems to be opening up more to you and around you. Each day she shares more, either of her experiences with Hayley at school or her thoughts. You love that it’s much easier to talk with her now. Once you don’t press her, she tells you everything in her own time.

You and your daughter decide that it is better to have breakfast in the kitchen while watching Hotel Transylvania, one of the few films that you both love.

It’s your birthday today, and although you and Carmilla have regularly been texting, you haven’t had the nerve to mention this little detail. You’ve even thought of inviting her and Hayley a few times, but you are not completely convinced that it’s a good idea. After what she did with the flowers and how close she was kissing you the last time, a party surrounded by all your friends is probably not the best way to see her again.

Do you really want Danny to question her intentions regarding you and threaten to harm her if she hurts you? Or what if Perry tells her exactly how she should discuss the matter with her daughter so as not to create a false sense of security that might harm them in later life? Or what if Kirsch bugs her by asking what football team she supports or whether she prefers baseball, soccer or any one of a thousand other sports? Do you really want her to be there when Lafontaine asks for a blood sample, on the pretext of keeping Sloan’s medical records and yours up to date? No, that’s definitely not the best way to meet Carmilla again.

So, you leave it out of your messages because you feel it’s a little pathetic that you’d have to tell her that it’s your birthday. But even now, when you’re sitting on the couch with Sloan in your arms, you can’t help wondering if she mentioned it to Hayley.

"Sloan, How’s Hayley?"

"Well?  Uhm,  this  week she’s spending a lot of time with  Will.  I believe that her  mother  had some things to do in the afternoon. "

"Things to do? Carm didn’t mention anything…"

Sloan raises an  eyebrow, and y ou ca n't believe  the teasing look she gives you as she smiles a little.

"Surely the two of you would have more interesting things to talk about?"

"Sloan!"

You give her a playful tap on the arm while you feel yourself blushing as Sloan laughs.

"Ma, you text each other all the time. Not even Hayley and I text each other that often."

Time to change the subject. While you love your daughter's new found self-confidence, it seems to bring its own problems that you’re not remotely prepared for.

After breakfast, Perry arrives with the twins to sort out the last details of your costume, and you cannot help but feel overwhelmed by what Perry has made you. You don't know how to thank her enough for choosing the theme of your party and can only hug her fervently.

Neither Perry nor your daughter lets you see Sloan’s costume, and you’re dying of curiosity as to why. The only thing you know is that you will be going as the main character. Sloan must have its counterpart, but you decide to let it be and not ask any questions.

At noon,  your  father  calls to take you and Sloan to your favorite restaurant, but much as you enjoy it, you’re still a little put out when Carmilla doesn’t text you during the day. Well, you know that she doesn’t normally wake up until midafternoon on Saturdays, but part of you was hoping that she’d have sent you a message to congratulate you on your birthday. But it’s almost four in the afternoon, and you are sitting with your father and daughter eating some delicious barbecue ribs. You can’t help thinking how glorious it would be if you were sharing them with Carmilla.

Hollis! This is your father and daughter. You should be ashamed of yourself!

Your father has given you a new emergency kit for your home, a phone that has all the emergency numbers of the city on speed-dial and it came with an app that sends a message to his cell if either of you is kidnapped. You don't know whether to be relieved because he’s finally trying to cope with modern phone technology or terrified by the new opportunities it’s given him to feel that he can still protect you.

All the waiters in the restaurant are gathered around your table singing 'Happy Birthday' while you and your father applaud. Of course, Sloan sinks into her seat as she tries to hide behind the book Carmilla gave her. This must be the third time that she’s read it in the last three weeks, and everywhere you go, she brings it with her.

When  the  slice of cake with a small candle is presented to you ,   you can only think of a single wish; the same thing that you have desired for weeks. Maybe you never grew out of childhood, but you believe that you can still have faith in magical things such as a letter saying you’d been selected for Hogwarts. Or perhaps that wishing on a star or when you blow out the candles on your birthday cake will make your fondest desire come true.

As you don’t have access to a shooting star at this time, your only recourse is to blow out all your candles in one breath and hope that somehow it will come true.

Also, of course, that it includes a woman called Carmilla.

Carmilla

"Carmilla, come on!"

"No! Get out Will!" I’m not coming out until you leave!"

"Oh come on Kitty, it can’t be that bad!"

"No, leave now!" There’s no way you're seeing me with this on!"

"Come on, Kitty! You need to leave now with Hayley if you want to arrive on time for the party or the redheaded mafia is going to kill you if you deviate even one second from the schedule she sent you.

Your brother is right, and you hate it when that happens. So no matter how hard it is to go out dressed like this in front of him, you fix the costume one last time in the mirror before preparing to leave your room.

Just remember you’re doing this for Laura, Karnstein!

You’ve never seen your brother looked so shocked, but the biggest surprise for you is that there is not a single hint of mockery in it.

"Wow! Kitty, you must really like Laura."

"Shove it, Willy-boy!"

"Don't get me wrong; when you told me all about this party, I though you wouldn’t go. But as weird as it may sound coming from your brother, you look... Wow!"

"Do you really think so?"

"Carmilla Karnstein. Are you actually nervous that a woman won’t like you?"

"Don’t talk crap , William!  It's  just  that I don't know if  Ginger is pulling my leg   or if Laura is going to  like this."

"Oh! Believe me, even if there wasn’t a party, Laura is definitely going to love the way you look. Now go. I’ve used up my ‘good brother’ quota for the week."

You hug your brother tightly before saying goodbye to him and SJ. She’s there because apparently there’s a chronic termite invasion in her house that means she can’t go home until she spends the afternoon watching movies with your brother. She complimented your outfit and that combined with your brother's words helped to increase your confidence. When you realized your feelings for Laura after not seeing her for so long, you want to impress her. Also, it is her birthday.

"Hey, Kitty!"

Will comes back again before you drive out the garage. Hayley is in the back seat with the dress that Perry made for her, and you don't think she could look any more beautiful. Are fifty-six photos enough of your daughter in her dress? Nah! Surely you must take more when you arrive at the party. Then you have to take some of her with Sloan. And of course, a few of her with Laura….

Yow lower your window as Will approaches.

"Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you to Mother’s place?"

"It’s fine  Will.  I’m just going to make a quick visit to pick up something for the party. Mattie has texted me to confirm Mother is still in the office with her, so I’ll be fine. Thanks for asking; now go enjoy your 'Netflix  and Chill.'"

Your brother nods with a smile and wishes you luck as he waves goodbye to Hayley and makes her laugh by pulling faces at her.

It’s not long before you’re parked outside the house where you grew up. Cautiously, you get out of your car, undo your daughter's seatbelt and take her by the hand as you enter the house.

"Why are we at Grandma's house?"

"I need to get something out of the vault before we go to the party."

“Why are we here when she’s not at home?"

"Cupcake, we already talked about this. Your grandmother and I, we do not get along. We had an argument, and we have not spoken to each other since."

"Sloan and I had an argument too.  She  said that the  stars  cannot fulfill wishes because when they fall, it’s because they are dying and that if they are dead, then they can’t do anything for us. But I  told her  that it’s magic and that the last thing they do before they die is grant our wish before they fall to earth.

" Seriously? You argued about that?"

"For at least three hours, until I got angry because Sloan said that what I thought was stupid, and that made me angry. So I told her to go away and that I didn’t want to see her ever again. We didn’t speak for the whole recess, and then Sloan apologized to me and gave me half of the moonstone that her grandfather gave her for her birthday. I apologized too and gave her half of my peanut butter and marmalade sandwich.”

"Sloan did that?"

"Of course! And I was very happy because we were friends again and now I have something that reminds me of Sloan, and I always keep it with me."

"Tell me again why I'm getting a lesson in life from you?"

"Duh! Because it’s the same situation as you and grandmother, but what matters is that you apologize to each other and everything will be fixed, and both of you can be friends again, just like Sloan and I."

"I think that it would take more than an apology, Hayley. But thanks for the lesson. Wait a moment. Is that why SJ has been preparing two school lunches for you, these past few days?"

"Uh-huh. Sloan loves SJ’s lunches. She was always stealing my cookies or eating some of my sandwiches, so I asked SJ to prepare one for her too. Was that wrong?"

"Of course not, Cupcake. Tell SJ to also include an extra juice and cookies as well."

You are so engrossed in the conversation with your daughter that you do not realize that the main door of the house is open and the person you've avoided for so long is standing in the doorway.

"Carmilla, my dear. To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit? Or are you just here to pilfer a bottle from my cellar again?”

Busted.

"Hello, Mother," you sigh.

"Hayley, dear. Aren't you going to greet your grandmother?"

"Granny!"

Hayley runs to hug your mother, and for a moment you want to forget all those nights you had to take care of William and the times that your mother did not appear at your school plays because of work. But you also remember the times you opened dozens of presents under the Christmas tree with your brother and a note that rested on the fireplace saying that your mother was in Honolulu, Dubai, Venice, Santorini or some other exotic location enjoying the holidays with her latest fling. You cannot so easily forget all the responsibility that rested on your shoulders thanks to her absence.

"Would you mind telling me why I have the pleasure of your company in my house? Or would you prefer to tell me first why you and Hayley are dressed up like that?" asks your mother curiously while carrying Hayley in her arms and kissing her tenderly on both cheeks. Of course, that little act never worked with you.

"I need to get something from my safety deposit box in the cellar. I’m not here for anything more, Mother."

"Carmilla, don't be silly. I was just kidding, you never take anything that doesn't belong to you and your safety deposit box is still there for whenever you need it.”

You ca n't look your mother in the face when you know why  you put some things in that  safety deposit box. It’s too painful to think about now, and you don't want to ruin the mood you have. There’s no point in being nostalgic when you're about to meet Laura. So, you nod and say nothing as you walk through the house to access the vault in your mother’s house.

"Grandma, me and mama are going to a party!"

"Oh really Hayley, It’s 'Mama and I.' But do tell me more over cookies in the kitchen while we let your mother collect whatever it is she wants."

It’s the last thing  you hear before you stand before the great vault with four security doors. You can’t remember  the last  time you  were in front  of  them,  maybe before Hayley was born. But time seems to have stood still here and you feel a lump in your throat. You thought that it would be easier with the passing of the years. You thought you had gotten over things after so long.

Apparently, you're wrong.

Laura

Cupcake:

Are you still in bed, Sleeping Beauty? How are you?

Cupcake:

Mmm. I suppose that you’re still asleep. Sorry, sleep well.

Cupcake:

Carm? Are you busy? I just wanted to say hello and wish you good day. Kiss Hayley for me.

Cupcake:

Did I do something wrong? Aren't you going to speak to me in today? Has someone robbed your cell phone, and you're not Carm?

Cupcake:

If you are not Carm, please give my messages and tell her I miss her. If you're Carm, Hey! I don't know if you've noticed, but you have not answered or a single message today, and that’s not like you.

Cupcake:

Fine! Don’t answer me then. I don't care if you don't want to talk with me today. I have many other important things to do anyway. Have a good afternoon or whatever.

Okay, maybe the last message was unnecessary, but you’re fed up of texting Carmilla today without receiving any response. And it’s not as if you’re a crazy possessive … girlfriend? No, you and Carmilla are nothing more than friends; and yes, you do have feelings for her, but you don't even know if she feels the same way. It’s just that you’ve been so used to her replying within moments of sending a message that her lack of response, on your birthday of all days, is driving you crazy.

Maybe she got fed up after not seeing you for so long? Or she’s realized that it was not worthwhile persisting with someone like you? Maybe she’s been kidnapped by one of the blonds from the restaurant?

And if not them, maybe there’s someone else who’s willing to share all their free time with Carmilla, who doesn’t need to send silly text messages at night because they have nothing else to give her. Someone whose time doesn’t have to be split between their work and their daughter. Someone without commitments that allows her to sleep with them for one night and carry on with her life without any problems.

Thinking that Carmilla could be with someone else makes your stomach turn and is not the best way to spend your birthday. Time to put on your big girl pants, Laura. You've never cried for anyone; your only broken heart was Danny, and yet you never felt so disappointed. You thought that you and Carmilla had become close. As it is, it looks like she doesn’t want to know you anymore. Even if the tear that runs down your cheek says otherwise, you will not let this hurt.

There’s a knock on the door and Lafontaine around it after you tell them to come in.

"Laur, you look beautiful! It is not just that my wife has talented hands if you know what I mean, but that dress is exquisite."

"Please tell me you didn't mean  any sexual innuendo when you referred to Perry’s ‘ talented hands.'

What do you think?" replies Laf, waggling their eyebrows and smiling broadly.

"Laf! The last thing I want for my birthday is to have a mental image that includes you and Perry doing… that"

"Is that so? Geez, Laur! I believe that you really need to have sex. Oh, sorry! You need to have 'that'…"

As usual, you blush furiously. Although Laf has an argument in their favor, it’s not possible to do that because of who you want to do… that… with.

Seriously, Laura? You’re acting like a five-year-old that can’t say the word ‘sex.’ The person you want to 'do it' with hasn’t answered your messages, and you believe that everything has been ruined. Your lower lip is protruding alarmingly, and you’re on the verge of tears.

"Woah! What happened, Laura? I thought that everything was going great with Carmilla."

"What? How do you know that…?"

"Come on! You haven’t stopped talking about her since your date."

"Well, she hasn’t answered any of my messages today, Laf. I wanted to invite her to the party, but we haven’t seen each other since the date, and I thought bringing her here would be too much, with all of you present. Oh, my God, I love you! But I didn’t think it was the best occasion for a second date, and I haven’t been able to meet her because I have so little time between my job and Sloan. But honestly, who could go out with someone like me? If it weren’t for you and Perry, I wouldn’t have even celebrated my birthday tonight. And Carmilla is so beautiful and intelligent and nice and sweet, and I have to understand that she will never see me the same way."

"Hey, hey, hey! Laur, no. Don't say things like that. You are a great woman, you have a wonderful daughter and that child is so great, compassionate and gentle is because you’re a wonderful mother. Carmilla must be occupied with something important to not answer your messages."

"With something or someone," you reply bitterly.

"Give her the benefit of the doubt, and she might surprise you. Either way, we are here to celebrate your birthday, so let's talk about happier things. Perry wanted to know if you were ready to go down and I wanted to give you your present before you do," they say, before handing you a small envelope.

"I know that you've always wanted to  go  to Broadway to see  the  original, but with your job and Sloan, we know that  it would be  somewhat  difficult. S o I got tickets to a  local showing.  Of course, it won’t be as dazzling as the original, but I have heard  very  good reviews of the show.  Happy  Birthday, L"

"But Laf, Perry and you always give me your gift together."

"Oh! This is not our gift. This is 'my' gift for you. Open it!"

The smile of your friend borders on the absurd and you can't help smiling back. Taking the envelope in your hands, you open it. Inside are two tickets for Beauty and the Beast - The Musical.

"LAF!    I have no words. But thank you so much.  You didn't have to   give me anything else,  the party and your friendship are more than enough. I don’t think I can ever be too thankful for everything you do for Sloan and me,"

"Well, well. I knew you’d like them, but I’d didn’t know you’d be this cheesy , Hollis.  Now, if you're almost ready, I’ll let Perry know, and we look forward to seeing you downstairs. Okay?"

When Lafontaine leaves the room, you touch up your makeup that has been somewhat affected by all your emotions. But you still take one last look at your mobile.

Zero, nothing. Fine! You're not going to let Carmilla stop you. Fuck! Today is your birthday, you have your daughter and friends that you would die for, so you're going to enjoy your party and forget Carmilla completely.

Carmilla

Is it natural for your hands to sweat this way? When you arrived at the Weasley twins house a few minutes ago, you had to say hello to the walking fire hydrant or Danny as the other redheads called her.

You might have been more civil to her if the first thing out of her mouth wasn’t a warning of what would happen to you if you hurt Laura. What are you supposed to do with that?

Fortunately, catching up with Lafontaine gives you the patience to endure the situation. Unfortunately, the redhead is even more whipped by their wife than you had imagined. You can almost picture Molly Homemaker clicking her fingers and Lafontaine jumping as high as they can. That will never happen to you!

Okay, it won’t happen ever again. Never. No.

It doesn’t matter that this time you are in the living room of a strange house surrounded by strangers, in a completely ridiculous costume and waiting to see the woman that makes you sigh every time you think about her. Nope, you’re definitely not whipped.

There’s a tall guy that you recognize from somewhere but can't remember from where. Maybe you’re mixing him up with Lurch from the Addams family. T hat could be it.

You also discover that this guy is Groot’s boyfriend. Okay, maybe it would better if you stopped assigning nicknames to the redhead, but then where would be the fun in that?

When Lafontaine returns from their trip upstairs, they give you a bright smile. In fact, They’ve been smiling since you arrived at the 'burrow.' Of course, it’s an obvious reference to the Weasleys because it’s far too easy with two other small redheads dancing around the house with your daughters.

Correction. Your daughter and Sloan. Since you arrived, you haven't been able to exchange more than two words with Laf, because their wife has constantly been at their side making sure everything is ready for when Laura makes her grand entrance. Or at least, that’s what Curly Sue called it. Lafontaine asks you to go to the foot of the staircase and wait for Laura there.

From the moment you see Laura walk down those stairs, you’re sure you’ve forgotten how to breathe.

But if you see think Laura in her dress is not enough, the expression of surprise, the dilated eyes and the way her mouth hangs open as soon as she sees you make the wait and even the ridiculous garb worthwhile.

You extend your hand to help her down the last few steps, and for a moment you truly believe that time has stopped around her, leaving both of you alone amongst all these people. Laura smiles widely as you look into her eyes and you’re completely lost in them. Your gaze is distracted when Laura bites her lower lip, and you are sure that if the phrase 'Happy Birthday!' didn’t ring out from everyone, you’d have tasted those lips with your own.

Laura gets distracted by all the hugs of her friends and all the children. Perry   yells at everyone to come to the main table to have some snacks that she prepared that afternoon, and the children are the first to grab all of the sweet treats. They turn a deaf ear to Perry’s exhortation to take some of the healthier options. Lafontaine reminds her that it’s a party and she needs to relax a little.

You walk toward the table when you see the way Laura embraces Groot. It’s not that you’re jealous or something, you just wanted to spend a little more time with her.

You grab a couple of cucumber sandwiches and a small cup of mint tea when the tall guy comes over to make small talk. Apparently, it’s typical of sports fans to have nothing else to talk about because the first thing he enquires about is your favorite football team. You respond that you don't have any and that all you know is that your brother is a fan of the New England Patriots.

That was your worst mistake. Now the guy introduces himself as Kirsch and takes your comment as an invitation to have an actual conversation with you. This turns into a monolog on his part that your mind blocks as much as it can while you watch the graceful movements of the blonde around the room.

Laura greets someone you think is  called  Betsy, or something else that you can't be bothered remembering. Meanwhile, a tall and imposing woman who has been introduced as Laura’s boss talks with Lafontaine and Perry about something you finally realize is the process of artificial insemination by which they had the twins. In excruciating detail.

You manage a small laugh when you see Clifford is sitting at the children’s table which she dwarves. In reality, it is amazing how well she gets along with them as they talk and laugh together. Of course, your daughter is the one that speaks the most of the whole table, and Sloan shares a complicit smile with you when she catches your eye. The twins were trying to persuade her that apparently, Gryffindor is the best Hogwarts house. You feel a little sorry for them, they don't know what they're getting into when trying to discuss that with your daughter.

"Do you think that Tom Brady knew whether the ball was deflated or not?"

Perfect. This is your cue to leave the redhead’s puppy, and you make your excuses. A party is not tempting enough to make you want to be there when all you want is spend a little time with Laura. You cannot blame her; it is of course her party, and she has to spend some time with the other guests. Even so, you can't help but feel a little disappointed.

Looking for a bathroom on the second floor, you discover that the hallway leads to a small balcony at the front of the house. Perhaps a breath of fresh air would be better instead. You don't know how much time passed, but you feel a lot better after leaning on the parapet looking up at the stars when you hear a familiar voice.

"Can you die of happiness?"

"Cupcake, did you just quote Jane Austen?"

When you turn, you are met with the most sublime vision you have ever seen. The long white dress that Laura wears makes her look even more angelic than she already does. It has a modest cut across her chest, but it still allows for a delightful view of her cleavage. Her hair is gathered up with just a few strands framing her face while still showing of the delicacy of her exquisite neck.

"I'm only doing justice to the impeccable work of Perry and Lafontaine with this party. I never thought I say this, but I don’t think that anyone else would look as well as you do as Mr. Darcy.

"Well, I had to this properly if I was to be at the side of the most beautiful Miss Bennet I have ever seen."

Of course, Laura's cheeks go red again, and you give thanks that the moonlight illuminates such a perfect vision.

"I have something for you; do you think you can wait a few minutes?"

"Trying to seduce me, Miss Karnstein?"

"Is that a yes, Miss Hollis?"

Laura  laughs, and  you  can’t deny it any longer .  You're in love with  this woman  and will do  whatever is  necessary to keep her this happy forever. You can’t fight this anymore.

You race to your car and grab   the gift bag  on the back seat. You left it there because you are not sure if  your  gift  would be too much. But what the hell! Now you’re certain that Laura is going to love it.

When you return Laura is not on the balcony, and while you start to look for her upstairs, you bump into Lafontaine who has a smile from ear to ear.

"You looking for something, Karnstein?"

"Ahm. No, I had to go to the bathroom."

"I guess it’s easy to confuse a bathroom with a balcony."

"Oh God, you’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?"

You didn’t think it was possible, but  Lafontaine's smile grows bigger. After growling in exasperation, you finally give in.

"Fine! I’m looking for Laura."

"Oh! May I ask what for?"

"Lafontaine! I’ll kill you…"

"Okay, no need to murder anyone tonight. Laura is in the loft. Don't worry about anything, Hayley is in good hands. Take your time. Oh! When you see Laura, let her know that this is her gift from Perry and me.

You don't understand half a word of what Laf said. To be honest, the only thing that you care about is that Laura is in the loft Well that and that your daughter will be fine. So you can concentrate on Laura.

"By the way Carmilla? It’s great to see you again.”

Laura 

You don't  know what  you did  in your past lives to deserve the friends you have . Perry and Laf’s plan to have a themed birthday party based on Jane Austen (your favorite author ever) is the best idea they’ve ever had.

When  your dress was delivered, you couldn't stop thinking about  the  hours you spent during  your  adolescence dreaming about  meet  someone like  Mr.  Darcy. Of course, when you walked down the stairs and saw Carmilla dressed in brown trousers with riding boots, a white blanket shirt open that gave you a great view of her cleavage and a long blue coat, you thought you’d faint at that precise moment. You had long since abandoned the idea of finding someone like Mr. Darcy, but when you see Carmilla in your party dressed like that and knowing that she probably hates that sort of thing, you think you've found your Darcy.

And if Miss Bennet had the courage to accept his love for her, then what’s stopping you, Hollis?

A few minutes after Carmilla leaves you waiting on the balcony, you decide that you’ve wasted enough time. It’s time to let her know how you feel. Perhaps the woman won’t feel the same way, but it is certain that she must feel something if she did this for you.

You hear a few steps behind you and all you can think is that as soon as you see Carmilla, you’re going to kiss her with all  the  enthusiasm you've been holding back these past three weeks.

But curse your luck, because it’s Lafontaine. They beg you to help them look for a clean tablecloth in their loft because apparently, the twins spilled a bit of tea and Perry is going crazy trying to clean it up. You know what Perry’s like and of course you agree to help your friend. Laf goes back downstairs while you climb hesitantly to the attic.

But when you get up there , you realize Laf wasn’t being truthful.  T here is a small  table set up with some snacks and a small  cooler  containing a couple of  bottles  of wine. The  room  is  illuminated  by a few candles, and  the table is  positioned  just  below the  skylight, letting in the moonlight and giving you a perfect view of the stars.

You’re torn between admiring the romantic setting and trying to understand what’s going on when a familiar voice makes you smile again.

"Hey!"

"Hey!"

"I bumped into Laf, and they said that this is your gift from them and their wife."

"Of course it is…"

Oh…Oh!

Now it all makes sense.

Carmilla has a small gift bag in her hand, and your smile gets bigger when you realize that she went to the trouble of buying you something. But how did she know that it was your birthday?

"I’m thrilled to see you here, but … how?"

"You can thank Laf. We were friends a few years ago and, well, do you remember when I told you that I cut everyone out of my life? Laf was a part of that."

"Laf, how?"

"Well, it seems  your daughter  decided that they should be inviting me to  your party,  so  she got my number from Hayley. Laf called me at the  beginning  of  the  week with  the  invitation  and gave me the  details.  Yesterday we visited  the boss at her  office  to try on the costumes she made for Hayley and me. So, here we are."

"Carm… that is… Carm!"

"What, Cupcake?"

"Is that why you haven't answered my messages?"

"What messages? Laura, I was so eager for this party that I haven’t checked my phone all day.”

"Oh, my God! Don't pay attention to any of my messages. I wrote thinking that you knew nothing of my birthday and when you didn’t reply, I got angry because I thought that you were ignoring me and I wanted to hear your voice. I really wanted to hear from you, and there was no reply, and then I lost my temper and said stupid things. Please don’t read them."

You sink your face into your hands, and you feel so embarrassed that you can’t look Carmilla in the face. Of course, you’re going to look like a fool when Carmilla reads the stupid messages, and she’ll never talk to you again because you're crazy.

"Hey, hey. Creampuff, it’s okay. I understand. Don't worry about it."

Carmilla patiently pulls your hands away from your face. When you look up, you can’t believe all the generosity and softness that you see in her eyes. All the love?

"Would you like to open your gift?"

You probably should be saying something now,   but let's be  fair. With Carmilla looking at you that way, it’s impossible . So you nod. It’s all you can do, and she hands you her gift.

When you pull out what’s in the bag, you can't believe what’s in your hand. You try to touch it as gently as possible.

"Carm! I can't believe it. How did you get this?"

"My father was a collector of rare books. When he died, I inherited his entire library, including all the first editions. When Curly Sue told me that you were a fan of Austen, I knew this would be the perfect gift for you."

"Carm, I feel really flattered, but I can’t accept this. Your father left you this as part of your legacy, and besides, this must be worth a fortune."

"A few thousand Euros."

"How many thousands?"

"The last time a copy as good as this came up for auction, it sold for a hundred thousand euros."

"Carm! That's a lot of money, I cannot accept something  like that."

"Laura, I don’t want you to accept it for what it's worth monetarily. I want you to take it as a gift from me. I am sure that my father would be thrilled to find a reader of Austen as devoted as you."

Carmilla tells you this while taking your hands between hers and her body was dangerously close to yours. You place the invaluable first edition of 'Pride and Prejudice' on the table, with all the care that a book from 1813 demands.

"Carm…"

You can't take it anymore, you need to do something now before you really do go crazy. So when Carmilla eyes drop to your lips again, you pull her close and crash your lips against hers. For a second, you wonder if that was a good move because Carmilla seems to be in shock, but it doesn’t take long before she’s kissing you back.

It’s everything  you  imagined when you fantasized about kissing her. Actually, that’s a lie;   it is much  more  than  what  you dreamed. Her  lips  are insistent, but also soft and  gentle in the way they dance with yours. They taste sweeter than you assumed, which is surprising coming from someone that doesn’t have a sweet tooth like you, but there’s also a subtle citrus tang. Carmilla takes your face between her two hands and caresses each your cheeks gently as if she’s afraid she might break you. You don't want this kiss to end and curse the very human need to breathe.

Although she withdraws her lips, your foreheads stay together. You sense that like you, her eyes are closed in concentration and both of you trying to say everything with your hands that are still gently stroking each other’s faces.

When a 'Happy Birthday, Laura' leaves her lips, you smile, and a tear of happiness rolls down your cheek when you realize that birthday wishes can come true.

Chapter Text

Carmilla

Before you know it, your lips are moving in rhythm with Laura’s, and your heart is beating like a runaway train. Closing your eyes, you allow Laura to set the pace and let yourself be carried away. There’s no way you’re ruining this moment.

It was about damn time, Karnstein .

You’re still grateful that it was Laura who took the initiative though, not that you’d ever admit that out loud. All you can think about is the softness of her lips and how sweet they taste. There’s a hint of chocolate chip cookies and raspberry tea, something you’re sure you’ll never get tired of where Laura is concerned.

You haven’t the faintest idea how long Laura and you have been kissing, but it hasn't been long enough, and both of you will have to return to the party at some point. She hasn’t moved from her spot and still kisses you between smiles. Your heart hasn’t felt this full since you held Hayley for the first time.

As you continue to kiss Laura, your mind registers a murmur that you try to ignore. Why would you waste time talking when you’re savoring the best kisses you’ve ever had? Ah, of course! Laura; Laura Hollis wants to talk, and somehow you force yourself to stop and give her the bare minimum of space to let her speak.  

You last less than a second before you begin kissing her again between words.

"Carm... * kiss*  I think…* kiss*   we * kiss* should  * kiss kiss*   talk…."

"Creampuff, you're talking and honestly * kiss* it’s not what I want you to do now," you reply while holding her cheeks and staring directly into her eyes so that she knows you’re serious.

Laura smiles at your earnestness, but to you it’s almost a matter of life or death whether you keep kissing her. Even though a very small part of you is embarrassed at behaving like a teenager with her, it doesn’t matter. You only know that you want to keep kissing her. Nothing else will suffice.

But when you’re about to resume this very important task, she takes a step back and looks you in the eye with the same seriousness as a few minutes ago.  

Oh, oh.

You sigh resignedly. Although it’s almost physically painful for you to keep your distance, you still give your full attention to Laura and let her speak.

"Carm, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that. Really…"

“Me too, Cupcake. Please tell me why we’re we still not doing it?"

Honestly, you sound worse than a fifteen-year-old in the backseat of her parent’s car who has brought their girlfriend to the drive-in. For weeks, you’ve wanted to kiss her, but Laura isn’t smiling anymore because she obviously thinks you’re not taking this seriously. You raise your hands in defeat, give her an apologetic look and nod at her to continue.

"Carm, it’s just that I’m not certain if I can do this ."

Okay, that's new.

"Laura…"

"Listen to me. I like you a lot and I… I think I feel something more for you. But I need to know exactly what we are doing. I can't risk a one-night stand. Sloan loves Hayley, and so do I. If this doesn’t work out between us, then it would be hard on them. They shouldn’t have to pay for our mistakes. Can you imagine how strange it would be to see us after… well, you know and then… uhm, we don’t … ‘you know’ anymore .

"Laura…"

"Well if you don't believe it would be hard, I do believe that it would be odd. And I’m afraid to risk the best friendship my daughter has had in years. In fact, it’s the only friendship she’s ever had. I can't, Carm. I don’t think you would either because I know our daughters are the most important thing in our lives. If I mean nothing more to you than a one-night-stand, then believe me as much as I would love to, because God! Of course, I would love to, I can't…."

"Have you finished, Hollis?"

Laura looks mortified and agitated by everything she’s just said. How does she talk so much without pausing for breath? It’s probably one of those things that you’ll never figure out.

"Laura, of course I like you. Honestly.”

You take a step closer to Laura and take her hands in yours, interlacing your fingers.

"I need more than that, Carm. It’s not just our hearts that are at stake here."

Before you can react, Laura gives you an apologetic smile. She lets go of your hands to take your face between hers and gives you a small, almost ghost like kiss that you can barely feel on your lips. You hear her last words as if from a great distance before she leaves the loft.

"Thank you again for the present, but it wouldn’t be right for me to accept it."

And you’re stunned because your mind can’t process everything that just happened. Just a moment ago, you and Laura were kissing each other as if your lives depended on it; now you find yourself alone in the middle of an empty room thinking about what you should have said to make her stay.

Laura

"YOU LEFT HER THERE?"

"Danny! I already feel like an idiot without you rubbing it in."

"I don't know what to tell you, Hollis. You have been begging for an opportunity like this for months, and when it finally arrives, you chicken out!"

"I know! But it's not that simple Danny. Carmilla only said that she liked me and that’s not

enough. Imagine if she and I started a romantic relationship, and the girls further strengthened their friendship.  What if they believed that we’d end up living together and becoming one big family and then suddenly something bad happens between us and we end up divorced and hating each other? Sloan would never forgive me if she lost Hayley, simply because I couldn’t keep it in my pants.”

You whisper this last bit as if you were still a child and your father was within earshot ready to chastise you for saying a bad word.

"Woah! Calm down Laura, you’re rambling again. Before you get around to divorcing Carmilla, maybe you should find out what she’s looking for in your relationship first.  Don't take this the wrong way, Hollis, but from what you told me, you didn’t even give her a chance to speak for herself."

You consider your best friends words carefully. Maybe she’s right, but you’re not going to admit that yet because she’ll never let you live it down. You frown when you consider that maybe you've ruined the opportunity you had with Carmilla to be something more than the mother of her daughter’s best friend. It is true that you’re afraid that you’ll get your heart broken, but you’re still more afraid that Sloan will come off worse. You had never felt so confused in your life nor did you think that your birthday would end like this.

"Laura, I don't know Carmilla. I can't say that I’m confident that she won't hurt you, because you know I’m concerned about who’s at yours and Sloan’s side. But I think that you are worrying about things that may never happen."

Danny’s right. You know that.

You let out a groan and pout. After waiting for so long to see if Carmilla saw you as anything more than a friend, you passed up on a gold-plated opportunity to find out. You didn’t even try to see if it would lead anywhere.

Danny is sympathetic and understanding as usual, but you just want to scream at how stupid you were. A Tardis would come be useful now; you’d return to the loft and taste Carmilla’s lips on yours all over again.

"I think I ruined everything, Danny," you groan.

"No, I don’t think so. You just panicked and overreacted this time. Besides, it’s not like you’re never going to see Carmilla again. Why don’t you ask her out? Come on, Hollis! I know that you have the courage to face down a god if it came to it, so asking someone out shouldn’t be that difficult for you.”

"Are you telling me I should ask her out on another date?"

"If you think she’s worth it, then why not?"

Is she worth it? Of course, Carmilla Karnstein is worth any amount of trouble. You realize it’s time to pull up your big girl pants and fight for what you want. And if it means that you have to fight for Carmilla, then so be it.

"You're right, Danny. Carmilla is worth it, and I should put aside any preconceptions I have and speak plainly with her. No more imagining scenarios where everything goes wrong!”

Danny beams at your determination and acceptance of her advice Okay, it’s something that she’ll probably tease you about later, but you don’t have time to think about that. Now you need to focus on how you’re going to move forward in your relationship with Carmilla.

" Right! Carmilla Karnstein, prepare to be wooed by Laura Hollis, " you cry while doing your patented happy dance.

Danny shakes her head in bemusement at your antics, but can’t help smiling anyway.

"Don’t you mean, prepare to be wooed by Laura Hollis, queen of the nerds?"  

"Shut it, Danny!"

Carmilla

You haven’t heard from Laura for three days. After she left the room where you kissed, you hardly saw her at the party. Of course, she was surrounded by all her friends, so that wasn’t too surprising.

Hayley was the only one who got to speak to Laura. Between hugs, she gave her a drawing of Laura and her playing Quidditch on a huge field that was meant to be Hogwarts. You and Sloan were sitting in the stadium seats, cheering them on. According to your daughter, you’re a Slytherin which is supposedly something to do with your dark sense of humor. This time you’ve been drawn with a long green and silver scarf around your neck. Sloan wears a red and yellow in honor of the Gryffindor House. Hayley keeps saying that Sloan has the courage to belong to that house since she had to climb out the window to retrieve Bagheera when he escaped for a moment on her last visit. You find yourself agreeing with Hayley.

Great, now you’re turning into a Potterhead! These two blonds are going to drive you crazy. If they haven’t already done so.

But the absence of Laura reminds you that perhaps there’s only one blonde controlling your life. You don’t even get a good morning text when you wake up anymore.

Maybe it wasn’t the best decision to attend the party. Perhaps if you had given Laura enough time to make her understand that what you want with her is real, this wouldn’t have happened. Or if you had been quick enough to stop her before she left or courageous enough to look for her afterward?

There’s nothing you do about those things now. It is not that you don't want to contact Laura, but you’ve no idea if she wants to hear from you. Judging by the way she’s keeping her distance, it seems she doesn’t. You’ve ruined everything.

Deep breaths, Karnstein.

"Aren't you going to answer that?"

Elsie’s voice seems to come from a distance. When you don’t respond, she snaps her fingers in front of your face several times until she finally has your attention.

"What!?"

"Your cell phone, Carmilla. It’s been ringing for the past twenty minutes and driving us all nuts. Are you going to answer it or not?”

You grab your phone from your desk, hoping that maybe it’s a certain blonde at last. To your disappointment though, you recognize your sister's number.

Still, it must be serious if she’s ringing you during working hours. When you answer it immediately, you find a very cheerful Mattie on the line. Perhaps too cheerful for the middle of a working week.

"Oh good, you’re actually alive. Good afternoon, little monster! So glad you deigned to answer my call.”

"I'm sorry, Mattie, but I've had a really busy morning."

It’s the first excuse that occurs to you. There’s no way in Hell or Hogwarts that you’re going to admit that you’ve been thinking about Laura all morning.

Great, now you’re swearing by the name of a fictional place. From a child’s book series, no less. You’re going from bad to worse.

"Don't worry. I just wanted to know if we could meet up for lunch this afternoon."

"I can’t Mattie, I have to take Hayley to her painting class."

"Don't worry about it, Carmilla. Since I couldn’t get you on the phone, I told Will that he could take the afternoon as long as he collected Hayley from school and looked after her for the afternoon. Also, that girl, SJ, offered to 'take care of it' along with Will. It seems the poor girl is quite fond of our brother for some reason.”

You can’t help smiling at your sister’s approval. At last, Will has someone and you don’t have to worry about his heart being broken again. But although you decide to accept your sister's invitation, you know she’s up to something.

"Mattie, what are you not telling me?"

"Carmilla! Can I not just invite my sister out because I feel like it?"

"Mattie…"

"Okay, fine. It’s not just that. I need to talk about business."

"Business? Mattie, I don’t know anything about legal matters. I don't see how I can help you in that…"

"It’s okay, dear. I know Mother wanted you to be a lawyer, but I’m not asking you to be one this afternoon."

You laugh bitterly at the memory of these fights with your mother regarding your choice of career. While it’s true that your B.A. is in Philosophy, the opportunity to work for the agency came as a surprise when one of Ell’s friends invited you to take on a project after he saw your skill at drawing.  You were about to finish college, and it was an opportunity to earn some money for your imminent wedding to Ell. When you started there as a trainee, you never thought that you would become an essential part of the company. Not only that but you ended up loving the work and agency so much, that you’re still working there after so many years.

Mattie seems to notice your hesitation and her tone changes to a more business-like one.

"Carmilla, I really need your help. Just meet me for lunch and hear me out.”

Of course, you're not going to refuse Mattie, no matter how much it hurt you when she left to attend law school almost as soon as your father abandoned all of you. But she’s still your sister, and she has always expressed her love and support for you. You owe her this much.

Also, you may need a small distraction from everything that has been on your mind for the last few days, so you tell her you’ll meet her in an hour. Mattie doesn’t have to remind you where to meet. The Michelin-starred 'Au Trianon' is the most expensive restaurant in the country and it’s also Mattie’s favorite place for lunch.

When you arrive, you can see her sitting at the best table in the center of the restaurant. Naturally, Mattie loves the attention, but it’s not as if she has to sit there to attract it. She could be the darkest pokiest corner of this place, and her elegance and class would still be the first thing anyone would notice when they walked in.

When you approach, you notice an emaciated elderly man sitting next to her. He’s dressed in a tailored suit that looks like it would cost you thousands to just look at it. However, he has the appearance of a man ruined and mistreated by life. He’s a bundle of nerves and sitting beside your self-assured, confident sister makes him look even worse. He looks familiar, but you can’t think of who he might actually be.

Your sister greets you gracefully, waving her hand almost as if she’s the Queen of England acknowledging one of her subjects. When you reach the table, Mattie embraces you warmly and give you a tender kiss on the cheek, and you return it as best as you can. You thought that this would be a business lunch between be the two of you. Immediately your view is directed toward the strange guest at the table. The man gets up from his seat and shakily extends his hand. Finally, Mattie decides to introduce him.

"Carmilla, I’m sure you know Cornelius Vordenberg, Prime Minister of Austria."

Now it’s starting to make sense. You recognize the man as the same person that’s been all over the media in the last few weeks. But he looks very different in the flesh. He’s a weak man, almost sickly, with dark circles under his eyes. His smile is watery but almost hopeful. It’s nothing like the pictures of this man entering the legislature among a sea of journalists with thousands of questions, pictures that appear on a daily basis. They’re everywhere from the smallest outlets, to the most prestigious nationwide ones. You can only think of the one where Laura Hollis works. So here you are sitting in front of the Prime Minister, and still the only thing you can think off is her. Perfect!

Time to put your crush aside for the moment.

You take the hand of the decrepit man, and it's almost like squeezing Hayley’s plasticine between your fingers. His fingers feel like they’d break if you grip them too hard.

The Prime Minister greets you gently while your sister introduces you.

"Prime Minister, this is the best publicist in all of Austria. And I’m not just saying that because she’s my sister.”

You give Mattie a grateful look for her appreciative words. It’s hard for her to express herself so openly, so you're a little impressed with her.

As soon as the three of you take your seats, Mattie decides it’s better to order some drinks, so the conversation is more enjoyable. Your sister orders the most expensive wine from the list, and the Prime Minister does the same, while you order your usual whiskey and coke.

Before the drinks arrive, Mattie speaks with Vordenberg about some of the details of the case against him. In all the years you have spent with your sister, you’ve still never seen her at work. You’re aware that she’s good at her job and is very passionate about her career. She’s always been respected and has achieved great things in her life. There’s no doubt in your mind that she’s devoted to her work and she’s already known as one of the best lawyers in the country.

Even so, it’s amazing that she is now representing no less a person than the Prime Minister. But at this point, the only thing you can feel is admiration for the easy way she deals with the man.

When the drinks arrive, Mattie raises a toast to Vordenberg before the real conversation begins.

"Well, Carmilla. I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve invited you to join us for lunch. I guess that you’re aware that the Prime Minister’s re-election campaign is being tarnished by unjustified accusations and fake news about alleged misappropriation of public funds. What we need now, is to help him to fight back against these slanders. We need to remind people of all the good he has done for this country. To do this, we want to bring your agency on board. "

This is a side to your sister that you’ve never seen before. She’s firm and confident, without the slightest hesitation in presenting her case. If this is the way she argues for her clients in court, you have no doubt that she will prevail against the Prime Ministers enemies without your help.

"Mattie, we don't have any experience with the political side of things. We wouldn’t even know where to begin…"

"Don’t worry about that, Bella. You will have full access and cooperation with the PM’s team. All of us will work together to restore his good name and defeat those sensationalist media who claim they have truth on their side when all they are doing is spreading unsubstantiated allegations.

"Mattie, I think that I would have to clear this with my boss first…"

"Oh! But that has already been sorted, Carmilla. Ian has assured us that we can count on you to be the creative director of this campaign. One of the conditions for giving your agency this substantial contract was that you were to oversee this. Ian, for his part, is very pleased because in his own words there’s no one more qualified. The real purpose of this meal is to make it official and let you know that from tomorrow you will receive all the information you need to run the campaign."

"Honestly Mattie, I think you might be placing too much responsibility on my shoulders.”

"If you’re concerned about the political element, there’s no reason to worry. The Prime Minister has assured me that he’s already hired one of the best press secretaries in Europe. He says her vast experience in working with many political household names speaks for itself. She has to finish up a few things before she comes to Austria, but as soon as she arrives, she’ll be in touch with us.

Vordenberg just nods to everything your sister says. He’s obviously experienced enough to give your sister free reign to be his official spokesperson and feels no need to add anything to her words. When she finishes speaking, he excuses himself to use the bathroom, leaving both of you alone at the table.

"Carmilla, I’m relying on you to deliver your very best efforts in this case. I know that I don't have to worry about your professionalism, but you need to know that I’m counting on you. I don't have to remind you that this is not only important for my career, but for Will’s and of course, for our mother’s business. Even if you don't want to accept or recognize it, she gave us many advantages in life. Mother did the best she could to care for us since our father decided he wanted to live the La Vida Loca and abandoned all of us."

You look your sister in the eye, and you can see how much she’s trusting you. She even seems a bit nervous because you know how this could make-or-break her, not just Will and your mother. You can't do anything other than nod with a slight smile.

"Mattie, you don't have to worry. I will do everything in my power not to disappoint you. But I want you to know that this has nothing to do with the money that’s involved, the future of the firm or the acceptance of our mother; I'm not even doing it for Will. I’m doing it simply because of my love for you. I want you to be fully aware of that."

"Well, well, Carmilla. No need to be so sentimental,” she says with a laugh. “We have a professional reputation to maintain. But I think we’ve had enough work talk, and it’s time to order our meals before we end up drunk in the middle of happy hour."

You laugh with your sister, and you realize this is what you’ve needed to distract yourself from constantly thinking about Laura Hollis.

Laura Hollis and her doubts.

Laura Hollis and her fears.

Laura Hollis and her lips.

Chapter Text

Laura

Okay, so this week has not gone as planned.

The Prime Minister’s office has begun issuing press statements accusing your channel of having a 'hidden agenda' in accusing him of embezzlement. It reeks of desperation more than anything, but they’re relentless, and it’s starting to have a serious effect on your audience figures.

Working at Channel Three is demanding at the best of times, but these last few days have been complete madness. All your time is spent keeping track of each new release or communication from the PM’s office. Your personal life is suffering, you’ve hardly seen Sloan this week, and your plans to fix your relationship with Carmilla haven’t made any progress.

Well, except for those few hours you manage to grab some sleep.

On one occasion, you even dreamed that Carmilla was in the clutches of Vordenberg and that her life was in danger; of course, you were the only one who could save her. It certainly wasn’t the happiest dream you've had about her, but the romanticism of the scenario appealed to your exhausted mind.

Ever since the party, you've wanted to call Carmilla, but you haven’t the slightest idea of what to say. How do you apologize for leaving her in that room alone, after receiving the best kiss of your life? Because Wow! She certainly knows how to kiss. And those lips. Phew! They’re the softest and sweetest you ever felt.

And really what you could say after that? Hey! Hello, I apologize for running out like an idiot. I realized that I probably have stronger feelings for you, and I panicked, but I now know that I want to take a chance on us though I’m still afraid to risk it. But I think you’re worth it, and I would like to try again is probably not the best way to start that conversation with Carmilla. This will have to be something sincere, yet also beautiful because she deserves that much. You want to do something romantic, something novel that would take her breath away, something where she couldn’t turn you down. You need to compensate for your stupidity.

But you’re barely getting any sleep as it is and the little bit of free time you get at home is spent with your daughter. You don't know if it's all the time you’re spending away from home, but Sloan looks taller than the last time you saw her. Can a girl grow so quickly from one week to the next?

At the moment, you can’t devote any time to plan your next step with Carmilla. So, you put it to the back of your mind and hope that giving Carmilla a few days to digest what happened on your birthday might make things less awkward when you talk to her again.

The strange thing is that you miss Carmilla. You miss her presence in your life even if it’s only the constant exchange of messages that cheered you up on your worst days and made you relax in the evening before going to sleep. You don't know at what point a few small words of comfort from Carmilla became the best medicine to relax in the evenings. And although these days you’re barely getting enough sleep, even a brief message now would restore you for a while.

You’re drafting the editorial piece for tonight’s bulletin when your boss calls you into the editing room. The reporters and cameramen that have been tailing the Prime Minister in recent weeks have arrived with some new footage.

As soon as you enter the room, you notice how happy Sophia is, and you hope that’s a good sign. Maybe they have something incriminating against Vordenberg. But when she plays the footage on the main screen, your heart stops for a minute. You don't know if that is even biologically possible, but it feels like it.

The first images show a majestic woman, dressed to the nines and stepping purposefully from a familiar looking car that’s parked outside the finest restaurant in the city. It’s the same woman that embraced you so warmly when you met her for the first time, nearly a month ago.

Mattie.

The following images are of the Prime Minister in person arriving in his own state car at the same venue. Naturally, he’s accompanied by an entourage of men groomed in elegant black suits, each with an ear piece and they keep the reporters away who’ve been waiting outside. Mattie appeals for calm and issues a brief statement saying that there’s nothing newsworthy happening, merely a private meal between a lawyer and their client. It would seem like the most natural explanation in the world if it weren't for the level of embezzlement the PM is accused of.

It sickens you. You don't know how this could be the same woman who wished you good morning and practically blessed the alleged relationship you had with her sister. To find her in the middle of all this commotion was the last thing you expected today.

Sophia fast-forwards the film to show Vordenberg taking a seat at the table with Mattie at his side as they have an apparently normal conversation and slows it to normal speed when a third person arrives at the table. The nausea you felt becomes almost overwhelming, and you don’t know if you can contain it much longer.

A woman in a black tailored dress, with ivory skin and black locks that have become a regular part of your dreams, appears on the screen. You haven’t the slightest idea why Carmilla is sitting at the same table as her sister and Vordenberg, but you’re certain it’s not for anything good.

You can't watch anymore and turn your gaze towards Sophia. Now you understand why she was so eager for you to see this. She’s recognized Carmilla from your party. What you don’t understand is how Carmilla and Mattie are involved with Vordenberg. You’ve known for a while that the Prime Minister had hired the best law firm in the country, headed by the prominent lawyer Lilita Morgan.

Lilita Morgan, who owns nearly half the city.

The owner of the most impressive building in the city, the Morgan building.

The same one that Carmilla brought you to a few weeks ago during your date.

You race out of the room and head to your office to rummage through the files on your desk. Finally, you find the one you were looking for, the one containing the investigation into the law firm.

It mentions that Lilita Morgan is widowed.

But you nearly faint when you read that her husband’s last name was Karnstein.

Carmilla

Laura’s continued silence is killing you, and it feels like it’s destroying your life. Okay, maybe you're being overdramatic, but since your date, you'd become accustomed to the continuous beeps on your phone every time you got a message from the blonde.

Your phone is still beeping but not for the reason you wanted. Ever since you accepted Mattie’s proposition, your phone hasn’t stopped. The PM’s advisors and the legal team are constantly sending you information and files to get the job done.

Ever since that meeting in the restaurant, you haven’t been able to sleep properly. The pressure of fighting the scandal and the confidence that your sister has been placed on your shoulders keep you awake most of the night. You’re feeling so stressed that the first thing you do when you get into bed is to take the cell phone and begin to write a few lines, the same lines you write every night but never send. Eventually, you give up and drop it on the bedside table.

But as far as you’re concerned if Laura was half as eager to get in touch with you like the rest of them, then she should be the one to contact you. Perhaps it’s for the best, maybe the blond is telling you that she’s not willing to take the chance. Maybe her fears are larger than her desire to be with you. Apparently, you’re not worth the effort.

It’s the last thought that crosses your exhausted mind before you finally fall asleep for the few hours your tight schedule allows.

The following morning, you wake up with a headache and constant notification alerts from your phone. Without looking, you reach across and stab blindly at it, trying to make it stop.

You're still not fully awake when you check it and find not only did you forget to close your messaging app, but that you sent a message to Laura in the middle of the night. It was just a simple Hey , the same word that both of you use to greet each other. But this time, you managed to type

'Heysjaiji'

Time sent 04:20 .

Nice work Karnstein! Could you sink any lower with Laura?

You don't know which is worse, the feeling of shame for having sent the message at such an inconvenient time or disappointment that after so many hours there still isn’t a response.

You turn and groan into your pillow. Is there a worse way to start the day than to receive confirmation that you mean nothing to Laura?

Maybe in some alternate universe, you pissed off some angry deity because the next thing you know is that your phone is ringing again. The name that pops up on screen is 'Theo Straka,' the man in charge of Vordenberg’s election campaign.

When you answer, the first thing he tells you to do is turn on the news immediately. Grumpily you do, but when you see what the morning headline is, you freeze. Throughout your advertising career, you're a professional who’s accustomed to being on the other side of the cameras, overseeing the filming and often getting involved in the casting of the models (not always for professional reasons). You’re never in front of them.

Realizing you’ve become part of the story hasn’t changed your mind either. You want to erase those headlines that put the worst possible spin on your lunch meeting with Vordenberg and Mattie.

Sold off to the highest bidder: Morgan & Associates will oversee the Prime Minister’s election campaign

Sister Act: the Karnsteins join forces to defend PM

Lilita Morgan and her children: The family that protects Vordenberg

It's funny how writers used the most common metaphors for this type of situation, and you can’t really blame them. After working in advertising for so long, you understand why; they’re effective, they work, and you can feel the impact of each headline as you flick through the news channels.

Theo ends the call by demanding your attendance in the Prime Minister's press office and to come up with ideas and strategies to counter the headlines.  Finally, you get to shower. By now you don't have time to think about Laura and her lack of communication, you have other obligations and responsibilities that must come first.

Before running out of your house, you say goodbye Hayley with a big hug. She asks you a question that you don’t hear, and tell her to ask Will instead. Although her involvement in the case is all consuming, Mattie has been able to arrange your brother’s workload so that he can take care of Hayley in your absence.

To no one’s surprise, SJ has also offered to stay over at your house to look after her.

The room for the press conference is still being prepared when you arrive. As the official spokesperson for the PM, Mattie will be issuing a statement and taking questions. After a few minutes, you step out on stage to take stock of the atmosphere in the room.

Immediately, your eyes are drawn to a head of honey blond hair, and you realize that Laura is also here.

Finally, you might get a chance to talk to her.

Laura

You’ve been editing this footage for hours, reviewing it frame-by-frame. You want to believe that this is an innocent meeting between sisters that coincidentally occurred while the older sister ate with her client, which just happens to be the Prime Minister and is suspected of using public funds to enrich himself.

It has to be. There is no way in which Carmilla would work with someone like this, and you shouldn’t be calling her integrity into question. She would never do something like that.

Or would she? Reluctantly, you must admit that you don’t know her as well as you’d like, so you can’t rule out her willing participation in this farce.

The urge to throw up has been present ever since you saw that video for the first time and the ensuing conversation with your boss hasn’t made it any easier. As you suspected, Sophia remembered Carmilla from your party and thinks that your existing relationship will give the channel an edge when reporting on this case . She has given you sole responsibility for covering the prime minister’s election campaign and press briefings, which of course, means even less time at home. Starting that very night, you make arrangements with Perry to take Sloan home with her and to pack enough clothes for a couple of days stay at her house.

If the disappointment of seeing Carmilla doesn't kill you, surely the guilt of spending so much time away from your daughter will.

The editing room is almost completely empty, except for the night editor and you have worked throughout the night to find the best way of presenting the latest news when a message arrives on your cell phone.

At any other time see the nickname that appears on the screen would have made your heart swell, but now it just makes you feel that little bit worse. Carmilla hasn't contacted you for days, not that you have made it easy for her anyway. But you’re already wondering if it’s anything to do with the fact that your working lives have collided so dramatically.

You open the message slowly, and you don't know what to think of it; Heysjaiji isn’t exactly the most eloquent message. What does it even mean? You decide not to answer because in truth your brain cannot think of a satisfactory response or at least one that satisfies your curiosity without crossing that line between your work and your personal life. How’s your heart going to cope when you find yourself facing her over the next few weeks?

The following morning when the news spread like wildfire you can feel the guilt consuming you. Your boss wants you to find and investigate any links between Lilita Morgan’s law firm and their participation in the Vordenberg’s election campaign. ‘Stir things up a bit, Hollis’ is how Sophia phrases it. You're not inclined to sensationalize the latest developments, but current ratings mean that decision is taken out of your hands.

Tidying your hair as best as you can, you call Perry’s number to wish Sloan a good morning. Your daughter is back to her old monosyllabic self with you, and that breaks your heart even more. But duty calls and your next assignment is to attend Vordenberg’s press conference. Maybe you’ll find the answers you need there, even if you're not sure you want to hear them.

It’s Mattie who’s leading the press conference, and it’s hard not to admire her performance. She deals with the journalists in attendance quickly and easily, smiling the whole time. Somehow, she manages to make the fact that the entire Karnstein family is working on behalf of Vordenberg seem inconsequential and unworthy of notice. You try to focus on the importance of this conference, of the question being answered or being deflected, but instead, you are looking at the stage trying to catch the eye of the one person you really want to talk to.

When your eyes finally meet, the atmosphere seems to grow heavier. Her face has the most business-like facade you've ever seen. It doesn’t have that cheeky smile, her eyes are cold, and those oh-so-expressive eyebrows that drove you mad in the past are rooted in place. She’s serious and fully concentrating on the job in hand. But when she notices you, her expression softens and despite yourself, you’re charmed all over again.

You supposed to be working, Laura. Concentrate!

"Laura Hollis, Channel 3 News; Miss Belmonde, what is your response to the accusations about your family and the relationship it has with the Prime Minister, Cornelius Vordenberg?"

You can see from the corner of your eye Carmilla stiffening at that question. Mattie for her part keeps smiling, but now there’s no humor in it. If looks could kill, you’d be struck dead on the spot.

"Ah, Miss Hollis, as always straight to the point," Mattie replies, making your fellow journalists laugh. Well, if the look wasn’t enough, she has other ways to make you feel foolish and insecure. But you just shrug your shoulders and try to look nonchalant.

It seems to work.

"I will respond briefly to your question, Miss Hollis. If your sister was the best camerawoman in the country, would you not use her talents to benefit your work? It’s the same principle surely, and there’s no law against it."

Some of the journalists don’t seem totally happy with that reply, so you decide to fight back.

"I don't have the pleasure of having sisters, Miss Belmonde. But if I did, I wouldn’t involve them in such a controversial story."

The murmuring grows a little louder at your answer, and for the first time today, Mattie looks annoyed.

Nice job, Laura! Irritate the hell out the elder sister of the woman you’re in love with. Don't you want to hit her brother too? Or drive over her mother? Maybe you could finish off by kicking Bagheera to make sure Carmilla completely hates you.

"Maybe it's what you lack, Miss Hollis because you’ve obviously never learned what it's like to work in a team. But I suppose it’s too late for your own mother to teach you that."

You’re stunned at her coldness, and you want to reply, your mouth opens and closes trying to think of an answer. But you can’t formulate a response because you feel like you’re about to burst into tears any second now.

Carmilla crosses the stage immediately and whispers something to Mattie that causes her to immediately terminate the conference. She looks at you, and you can see that she’s horrified. But you can’t hold her gaze because you can’t bear the fact that she has witnessed your humiliation.

The only thing on your mind now is to get out of this room as fast as possible.

Chapter Text

Carmilla

It seems you must have been someone truly horrible in a past life because there’s no way that all this bad luck you’ve been having lately is coincidental.

Day by day or even hour by hour, things were getting worse. First, there were the sensationalist headlines about your meeting with the Prime Minister, the ongoing pain of having to deal with that dimwit Theo Straka and the constant stress your sister is under. Then there’s the non-stop calls from the press to your office phone and your staff requesting an interview with you, no matter how many times they’re told no. But the worst thing to happen to you this week was to witness the despair and anguish of your favorite journalist.

"Maybe it's what you lack, Miss Hollis because you’ve obviously never learned what it's like to work in a team. But I suppose it’s too late for your own mother to teach you that.”

Your blood boiled as soon as you heard that and you looked at Laura to gauge her reaction. She struggled to maintain her composure at Mattie’s cruel jib.

You never moved so fast in your life. When you reached the podium, you told Mattie to end the press conference immediately. It was almost as if your feet had a life of their own.

Despite the shouting of the journalists who jumped out of their seats and continued to demand answers from your sister, you still saw Laura leaving the room, visibly upset.

"Laura!" you cried, not caring who heard you.

But she didn’t turn or indicate that she had heard you. Laura moved so quickly that you had to run to try and catch up with her. It made you even more aware of just how fit Laura was and reinforced the idea that maybe you should be doing some sort of exercise that doesn’t involve the bedroom. Or maybe you could fix that if you could only catch up to the blonde. But you managed to see her climbing into the transmission van with "Channel 3" on the side.

Should you have left things as they are? It’s clear that Laura didn’t want to talk to you. Perhaps there was too much noise in the press room, but outside you kept calling her name, and she still ignored you.

No, not this time.

But when you grabbed the door handle, you were surrounded by a mob of journalists. Thousands of questions are shouted at you simultaneously, questioning your family’s connection with Vordenberg, the business, the campaign and the diversion of public money. It felt like you were being buried alive until Straka managed to rescue you before you began murdering a few of them.

"Miss Karnstein has no comment to make" you heard him repeatedly say as he escorted you to the PM’s campaign headquarters.

You felt relieved when you arrived back, but the guilt felt just as bad because you couldn't support Laura when she needed it the most.

There is some respite until the weekend. But when you’re driving home, that’s when the reality of it all strikes back with a vengeance. You’ve driven about three blocks since you left work, but there are already three vehicles following you. Two of them contain photographers with some of the largest zoom lenses you’ve ever seen. The third is your own escort, a black SUV on which you catch a glimpse of an election poster depicting a large eagle with open wings above three segments of red-white-red while breaking chains that supposedly represent slavery. You laugh bitterly at the thought that never have you felt so trapped by your actions. Although maybe your relationship with Ell came close. Maybe.

The convoy follows you up to the gates of your house. All you want is to get into the tub for a few hours and try to put this week out of your mind.  Then you plan to lie in your comfortable bed, ideally for the next few weeks until this election campaign is over.

The protective detail assigned to you manages to keep the journalists away as you drive through your gate, hoping to find the peace that you've been searching for throughout the day.

When you open the door of your house, you’re greeted by the sight of Hayley and Will dancing around your living room while Ain't No Mountain High Enough blasts from the speakers of your sound system. Both are belting out the chorus as loud as they can.

God, you’ve given up on William at this point. You really don't know whether to laugh at their atrocious singing or cry because, in truth, the last thing you expected when you came home was to find a dance party in your living room. And yes, your brother is a die-hard fan of disco. Yuk.

But, it’s still kind of touching.

The second thing that attracts your attention is a small black-haired girl lying on the couch in your living room. Bagheera relaxes on her stomach, content to have their ears and head stroked. Above all the noise of the music and the laughter, you can still hear purrs of pure happiness. You’ve never been so jealous of a cat. It reminds you of the time when you used to pretend that you had the power to turn into a black panther to scare the bullies that always seemed to pick on your brother when he started school for the first time. Will always found it hard to make friends.

The third thing you notice is that behind the kitchen bar, SJ is preparing some refreshments for the four of them while dancing to her own rhythm and smiling to herself.

None of them have noticed you so far, and that’s fine by you. You want to enjoy this scene as much as you can. What if this could be your normal life? Imagine coming home to music, laughter, dancing, and happiness. But there’s something missing from this perfect scenario. You may not know exactly what until you see SJ come from the kitchen and leave the drinks on top of the coffee table before embracing your brother from behind to give him a tender kiss on the neck. Will lets go of Hayley and places his arm around her shoulders to pull her close. SJ is really happy with the action and smiles widely without releasing your brother.

William looks her directly in the eyes, and you notice how her own seem to shine when he does. He pulls her closer for a kiss, and while it’s soft, tentative and definitely PG13, you decide to cut in before your daughters …. your daughter and Laura’s that is, witness anything inappropriate.

The slight creak of the main door is enough to make them spring apart, and honestly, do they really expect you to believe nothing is going on between them? Idiots!

SJ runs out to the kitchen, acting as if she’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. William is even less subtle in his attempt to pretend everything is normal. Sloan sits up straight when she sees you, causing Bagheera to leap off her lap and run out of the room, protesting. Hayley is apparently the only one unfazed with your appearance. On the contrary, the blond seems to get even more excited after Will let go of her hand and runs across the couch to jump straight into your arms.

One day she’s going to give you a heart attack, you’re certain of it. It couldn’t possibly cope with Hayley much longer; she always does what she wants when she wants.  What were you thinking about again? For a moment, she reminds you of some other tiny fast-moving blonde.

No, no, no, Carmilla; just for one night, forget about her. Don't even dare to think about work. Put it to the back of your mind.

"Mom! I’m so glad to see you! Welcome to our party."

"Good evening, Cupcake! I didn't know that we were having guests," you say with a wicked smile to your brother, hinting that you’re not necessarily referring to Sloan. Hugging your daughter tighter, you realize how much you’ve missed that smell of cookies and sugar. Lately, it always reminds you of ...

Carmilla Karnstein, please! Get a grip!

"Mom! I told you this morning, and you said ‘Whatever. Go check with Uncle Will.’  Laura has been busy with her work and Sloan has had to stay with her friends and her grandfather. Did you know that they sell spray for bears? Why would you need a bear spray? As it is, I wanted to invite Sloan so that she wouldn’t be bored and you said I could ask her some day and that day is today. I just did what you told me, and I asked Uncle Will."

"And being the responsible adult that I am, I told her that I was sure that you’d love to have Sloan visit us.’

"Responsible adult?" you reply, raising an eyebrow.

"Totally."

"So, what sort of responsible adult allows two little girls to watch Return of the Living Dead 3D ?" you reply as you point the TV remote at the screen to display the most recent Netflix session. Sloan tries to hold back her laughter as you give her a sneaky wink.

"Hey! It was only the first two films, there’s only so much brain chewing that someone can endure in one night."

"And by ‘someone’ you mean you Willy-boy?"

Your brother blushes at the question, and that’s when you realize that he was the one that ended the session. He’s always been more of a fan of vampire stories anyway. From when he was a child, Blade had always been Will’s favorite comic, and he swore that he’d grow up to be the greatest vampire in the world and leader of the greatest clan. At the same time though, he was always easily scared. You still remember the time that you and Mattie made a recording of a chainsaw and played it for several nights outside his window at night while your parents slept. That ended when William begged his father to sleep in his room one night so that he could hear the sounds of the 'inbred mountain men who wanted to kill him.'

It goes without saying that for the next few weeks, you and Mattie had to do all the household chores that were normally assigned to William. To this day, having to do any sort of housekeeping fills you with horror.

"It was me, in fact,” says SJ. “This evening I prepared spaghetti bolognese, and I don’t think I could even look at it again after seeing those darn movies.”

It makes sense that she is doing it to save William. Her proximity is quite evident; you can almost feel the way she restrains from touching your brother. But if they insist on not making their relationship official, you're not to going to force them. Maybe some other day.

Seriously though, could they be any more obvious?

"Are you going camping with us?" asks Will.

"Camping?"

"Steady, Kitty. We’re not going anywhere, we’re all sleeping in the living room. Do you want to join us?"

"As tempting that sounds, I think I’ll pass. Too much has happened this week, Will. I just want to relax, and I don’t think my constitution could tolerate sleeping on the floor. I’ll just take a bath and go to bed."

For a moment Hayley pouts, but you know she’s aware of how much you need to rest. And as much as you want to join the party, you know that you’ll never get a good night’s rest if you do.

This is a chance for you to get some proper sleep. That afternoon, Theo informed you that the new press officer would be arriving next week to work with you on the election campaign. That means more work and less sleep. There might not be enough time to change the mind of the electorate, but you can still ensure that your sister's career isn’t ruined because of it.

Still, you’re growing increasingly nervous about you sister’s role in this campaign. A key witness has disappeared, and circumstantial evidence seems to indicate that the defense team was involved. To be honest, the rumors are pretty damning. But you’re certain that Mattie would never dare harm someone just to win this stupid campaign.

Reasonably certain, anyway.

You excuse yourself by hugging your daughter one last time, but not without noticing Sloan watching you from the corner of her eye. She seems somewhat embarrassed as if she wanted one too. In the last few minutes, you haven’t said anything to her, and it's almost like the first time you saw Sloan, sitting in that corner of the classroom room, hiding her face under her hoodie. It’s possible that her smiling at your teasing of Will was a good sign of how comfortable she feels now with your family, but you can't help but be curious about her progress with Perry. Is she starting to open up more around people or does she still feel as out of place as you did when you visited her home for the first time?

That was the day you summoned up the courage to ask Laura for a date. The same date where you shared your tragic back-story and began to feel something for her. The same feelings you wanted to convey with the kiss at her birthday party. Or rather, the kiss she initiated, and you returned as best as you could before she left you on your own.

Tonight is not the time to think about that. You need to forget Laura Hollis and all the lies that you hear every time you check the news. The accusations against you, your sister, your family. No, you can't let those thoughts invade now. It is better to leave them aside and rest. Tonight, that’s all you need.

You give your daughter one last kiss on the forehead and walk over to the couch where Sloan stares at a spot on the carpet. Bagheera has returned and made himself comfortable on her feet. You don't know when Hayley’s cat and Sloan became so close, but it warms your heart. Bending down, you wish Sloan a good night and pull her gently towards you to hug her too. The only difference is that you tousle her hair affectionately, making Sloan smile shyly. She grips you tightly before wishing you a good night and pleasant dreams.

Will and SJ also wish you a good night before you head toward your room.

Laura

From:  [email protected]  

To:  [email protected]

Laura:

I know that we agreed that you had the weekend off to spend it with your daughter, but this is really important.

One of the research team has been able to obtain Vordenberg’s bank records. The figures and balance seem to line up with their declared income. But they have been able to establish a connection with some accounts outside the country linked to the missing money, and you won't believe who the name on those accounts is; Lilita Morgan.

We cannot let this opportunity pass.

In other news, Betty is coming back to the channel. I know you weren’t informed before this but we need a presence similar to yours, and there is no better picture of truthfulness and trust for the public than a new mother.  The board members believe it is better that she handles the regular newscasts. We continue to rely on you to tackle the Karnsteins and their mother. We need the truth to come out.

All of us at Channel 3 place our full trust and faith in you.

Sophia

From:  [email protected]  

To:  [email protected]

Dear Miss Hollis:

Our eyes often deceive us. Too often, we only see the side of the story that we wish to see. We accept as truth what our bias wants us to believe, often by denying that there may be other versions of the story that are just as truthful.

Your reality and mine may be similar or different, and yet we would be telling the truth as we perceive it.

I can't say who I am, but I can help you find the truth beyond what your eyes have been willing to see, until now. I come to you because I know you’re willing to follow wherever the facts lead.

Remember, Miss Hollis, the premise of the immutability of truth can lead to unexpected paths. If you are ready to follow me down those these paths, please reply to this email personally and tell no one.

I will contact you as soon as you reply.

Trust yourself, suspect everyone else.

The Truth Speaker

From:  [email protected]  

To:  [email protected]

Laura! Have you heard from Sophia yet? I am so excited to work with you again after so long. I can’t wait to release the news tomorrow. I am sure that we’ll obtain the top spot in the ratings if we do an exclusive on the links between Lilita Morgan and Vordenberg. We can worry about the facts later. I’ve spoken with Sophia, and we believe that it is better to retract it later if necessary, but as things stand, we can’t waste time trying to find more evidence.

Sophia told me that I won’t see you until Monday, so I hope you have a good rest this weekend because next week is going to be mayhem.

Elizabeth Anne S.

From:  [email protected]

To:  [email protected]

Hey, Laur!

I haven't seen you in days. You haven’t answered any of my calls. I know that you must have a lot going on while the elections are approaching and the possible impeachment of the Prime Minister, but I was wondering if everything in the news reports about Carmilla is true.

Are you still in touch with her?

Laura, I do not think it is a good idea to have anything to do with a woman whose family is linked to someone who’s involved in embezzlement of public money.

Please contact me as soon as you can. I am very worried about you. If the people got to know of your 'relationship' with her, it could ruin your career. After all the years you have worked to get to where you are, think of what you could lose because of someone you just met. Just be careful and let me know what you plan to do.

Xoxo Danny

From:  [email protected]  

To:  [email protected]

Laura, you're not going to believe this. I just got off the phone with Matt.

Don’t ask me how he got the information; what researchers do with their sources is not my concern.

Theo Straka, the Prime Minister's campaign chief just called Austrian Air to confirm the purchase of a flight ticket from Paris to Vienna that arrives early on Monday morning. Apparently, it’s the new spin doctor for Vordenberg’s campaign; they must be desperate to clean up his image with so little time left.

Do you know it is? Hint: They worked for the French President during the scandal with that blonde who was employed at his house while his wife was recovering from her fourth pregnancy.

Estelle Von Habsburg!

Sophia

Who’s Estelle von Habsburg? You do however recall the infamous scandal; people couldn’t stop talking about the hypocrisy of the French President. He was known as the conservative family values type who established a government with a blatant anti-feminist, homophobic platform.

You’re too exhausted to think about it, so you close your email before going to bed. It’s best to take advantage of the first night you can sleep in late. Much as you miss having Sloan around, dark circles around your eyes are the perfect reason to give her permission to sleep at Hayley’s house. Perhaps not the best decision in retrospect if, as Danny says, people learn about the 'relationship' between Carmilla and you. To be honest, there is nothing there other than your daughters are best friends. So, you’ve nothing to worry about?

Betty’s back too. Well, that’s good.

No, not really. The line of journalism that she pursues has never gelled with yours. She’s more from the yellow press school, chasing scandal after scandal based on rumors that usually end up unproven. God! It’s going to be hard working with her again, but maybe after having a child, she might have grown up a bit and developed a more nuanced view of the world.

‘The Truth Speaker? Is this email for real? Should you trust it’s content? Do you see both sides of the story? The spin, the embezzlement and secret accounts holding money on behalf of the Prime Minister in Lilita Morgan’s name. There’s not a shred of evidence to prove that.

Then there’s Carmilla who followed you a few days ago to Channel 3’s transmission van, and you dared to think that she wanted to comfort you. Carmilla, who despite witnessing her sister's attack on you at the press conference, hasn’t contacted you since. Okay, neither have you but your life is in a mess, and a 'relationship' with her now would be crazy anyway.

How dare she look so good at such an early hour of the morning anyway! Not that you were checking her out or anything at the press conference. Of course you weren’t, you’re a professional.

Even after that date and the kiss, she still has an air of mystery about her. Does she know about her mother’s connections to Vordenberg? Does she approve of her sister’s apparent attempts to intimidate witnesses? What about the pilfered funds? Or the PM’s accounts? Is her brother involved too? How are you going to deal with Carmilla?

Carmilla who right now is probably sleeping next to your daughters…

Your daughter.

Sloan and her own daughter Hayley, while you are alone in your bed, missing both.

And her too.

Your eyelids feel heavier by the second and little by little as they close, your mind holds onto the image of the three of them, making you feel homesick. Tomorrow is another day in which you must deal with the mess your life has become.

For tonight at least, you’ll enjoy a few hours of restful sleep.

Carmilla

Getting by on so little sleep has become a habit with you. Even though you were exhausted going to bed, you’re wide awake again, and it’s still only the middle of the night.

The growl that comes from your stomach tells you that hunger is the cause. The alarm on your side table tells you that it’s just after three in the morning. Curse your stomach and its whims of waking up at this hellish hour anyway.

You try to make as little noise as possible while passing the living room where a mini Hogwarts made entirely of blankets, sofa cushions and pillows have taken over.

One of Will’s arms is wrapped snugly around SJ’s waist. For a moment, you’re tempted to run back to your room and grab your phone for a quick spot of blackmail the next day. It’s all very heart-warming though, especially with your brother's feet sticking out from under the sheets of the blanket fort the girls made. Obviously, they didn’t take his size into account during its construction.

Hayley is sleeping in her usual position, with her right leg bent at the knee while the left extends to one side and her arms are thrown above her head. Seeing this, you realize that your little cupcake is growing faster than you would like. Her barely parted lips indicate that her sleep is restless.

And for a moment, you lose the sense of time until a small purr diverts your attention to the kitchen. Sloan is sitting in the window seat with Bagheera curled up on her lap.

"Hey, Kiddo."

"Hey, Carm."

"Can't sleep either?"

You whisper just loud enough so as not to wake your brother, SJ, and your daughter in the next room. The breaths of the three resonate almost like a melody.

Sloan shook her head slightly while continuing to stroke Bagheera.

Of course, your stomach betrays you again, and you look somewhat sheepishly at Sloan who laughs with you. Blushing, you continue into the kitchen to see if there’s anything worth eating. After reviewing the refrigerator contents, you hear Sloan clearing her throat quietly and turn to see she has a pizza box in her hands.

"We ordered this earlier today. Pepperoni is your favorite, isn’t it? I remember that we ordered the same thing in my house and I saved a few slices of mine."

There’s still three slices of pizza in the box, and your heart turns to mush after witnessing such an affectionate gesture. You stroke her hair in appreciation while taking one of the pieces.

“You like cold pizza too?”

"It’s my favorite, Kiddo. It tastes a lot better, although people always say that …

"It’s madness?" says Sloan, ending your sentence.

You laugh, trying to not spit out the pizza. People often say that to you when you confess that you enjoy pizza a lot more the next day, rather than having it fresh from the oven. Many times, you fought with your mother as a child because you preferred to let the pizza cool before taking your first bite.

"Would you like a slice? It’s cold and delicious, just the way we like it," you ask while winking.

Sloan laughs, but shakes her head and picks up Bagheera who’s demanding her attention again. While you eat the rest of the pizza, she tells you that Laura never scolds her for eating cold pizza but has always found it a little odd. You can only imagine Laura’s horror and can’t help smiling at the thought.

You’re dying to ask Sloan about her mother, but that’s probably not the best idea at this hour. You’re supposed to put your feelings for Laura aside.

Wait, what feelings? Seriously? Cliché alert, abort mission!

You're still listening to Sloan’s adorable rambling about something or other when you notice her eyes are slowly closing.

"Thanks for the pizza, Sloan. Let's get back to bed."

Sloan’s eyes widen suddenly, and she begins biting her lip.

"Is everything okay, Kiddo?"

Sloan nods, a little too quickly.

"Is your first night away from home?"

"I usually sleep at Perry and LaFontaine’s or my grandfathers but this time is different. And Ahm… Hayley is a restless sleeper," she replies, blushing slightly.

She’s right there. While you sleep like the dead, your daughter is a whirlwind in her sleep. Ever since she was a baby, she never stayed still for long in her crib. She always seemed to wake up in the strangest positions. Over the years, the problem got even worse, and everyone in your family has been the victim of her night terrors. Will was winded once when he slept in her bed after a particularly scary one. Mattie woke one morning with a black eye which took her ages to cover with makeup on the day she was expecting a judge’s decision of one her most important cases. SJ has also been a victim when she moved a sleeping Hayley once to put her into bed. She never seems to remember her dreams.

Not even your mother has escaped. One time when William left her at your mothers, your daughter was having a nap and still managed to kick her in the shin.

Not forgetting of course, the many, many blows that you’ve received from your daughter. When Hayley has nightmares, she always sleeps with you, and you always seem to end up with a fresh bruise. There are also mornings when you’ve woken up with her feet in your face, or she’s lying across your stomach. Those are preferable to the times you wake up to find she’s wrapped her arms around your neck in a stranglehold or to a mouthful of blonde hair as she lies on top of your chest. These are some of the many strange situations that have greeted you on awakening.

"Do you want to sleep in my bed?"

"Can I bring Bagheera too?" she asks nervously.

Bagheera in your bed? Of course not! That cat isn’t even allowed in your room, and she wants it to sleep in your bed? Will has teased you many times by saying it’s a territorial thing because you’re supposedly like a cat. Hence, the ‘Kitty’ nickname. As if you needed a cat shedding hair all over your bed anyway.

But of course, you end up lying on one side of your bed while Sloan sleeps on the other, with a very smug looking Bagheera lying on top of the covers between you. The little brat even looks like he’s smirking at you. Surely, he’s not mocking you? Stupid Cat!

You finally begin to drift off when you see Sloan sleeping with a little smile on her lips.

If only it were someone else though. Like a certain blonde who’d cuddle up to you while you both fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Laura

You have no idea how long have your alarm has been going off, even though you’ve already been awake for the past two hours. The only thing on your mind has been all the emails you read the night before. But five hours seems to have been sufficient for all the pressure you’ve been under for the past few weeks, so another hour or two less probably won’t make any difference. No matter how tired you’ve been lately, sleeping doesn’t seem to help much anyway.

It’s even less helpful with the mess your life is in. It is not only your work that constantly keeps you busy mentally; your mind is in turmoil at just how involved Carmilla’s family seems to be in the affairs of the country.

You get up with a growl because although your alarm didn’t wake you up, the sound has brought you back to the reality you’ve been avoiding. It’s one that has shown little or no mercy to you lately. Even so, there is a compelling reason why you must get out of bed, and it’s the one thing that never fails to help you face life courageously, no matter what it throws at you. Sloan.

Sloan had texted Carmilla’s address to you, and you’re already feeling butterflies at the thoughts of seeing Carmilla again. But it’s only because of what happened yesterday. That’s all, you try to insist to yourself.

On impulse, you decide to walk. It’s an icy cold morning, but maybe it’ll help clear your head. Eventually, when you finally arrive at the address, the first thing you notice are some press cars parked outside. The house practically screams luxury; now that you think about it, it makes sense that she would live here. The children of Lilita Morgan must have grown up accustomed to such magnificence. All the Karnstein properties, including the Morgan Building, have been staked out by the press. You remember how small you felt when you were inside and try to put aside the fact that you were on a date with Carmilla at the time.

Most of the cars and vans from rival channels are familiar to you because you have covered the same stories on several occasions. The Channel 3 van is also there, probably with Betty and those two cameramen that secretly filmed Carmilla at the restaurant.

But you’re dressed more casually than usual and the hoodie you stole, i.e., borrowed, from Sloan’s room is enough for you to slip by unchallenged. For once, you’re grateful that she loves wearing her hoodies about three sizes too big. But that e-mail Danny sent you is still on your mind. Are you willing to risk your job for someone you barely know?

At the front, you’re confronted by a large dark oak door that shouts 'I'm more expensive than your whole house.' You're about to knock when a disheveled and sleepy Will opens the door. Although the dark circles under his eyes mimic yours, he still smiles when he sees you, and you almost forget that he’s probably involved in this case too.

"Laura! Come in, Come in. I’m sorry I can’t stay as I’ve been called into the office, but you’re very welcome. SJ is preparing breakfast as we speak and the girls are sleeping."

When he rushes past you, you step inside and your heart begins to beat a little faster. Again, you try to remind yourself that it’s probably just nerves from being in the eye of the hurricane and not because, for the first time, you’re visiting the woman you’ve fallen…

Laura Hollis, that’s enough!

The first thing you notice is a fort constructed from yellow pillows and white linen sheets that nearly fills one side of the room. It’s almost like the ones that you made with your mother when she was still alive, and you wanted to play the princess. You were always fantasizing that some brave knight that would stand outside the tower to profess their love.

The fact that the knight was always a lady was a minor detail.

"Oh! Ahm… Hi? Can I help you with something?"

"Oh! Yes… Good morning. I’m Sloan’s mother. I am sorry to arrive so early, and I didn't mean to scare you. I swear I’m not a thief or assassin, Will let me in before leaving and told me I could…"

"Laura?"

"Yes. That's me. Laura, Laura Hollis"

"Hi, Laura. I’m SJ," she says with a smile while extending her hand. “You’re very welcome here.”

The butterflies, nerves, the nerves increase with each step as you follow SJ inside. Everything about it seems to say Carmilla . The walls are decorated in white with a few touches of black here and there. But there are drawings and pictures on the walls that give the whole place a homely feel.

There’s one particular photograph that attracts your attention. It’s one of Carmilla holding Hayley in what looks like a small forest, with the sunlight shining on her blonde curls while she laughs in her mother’s arms. Carmilla’s normally pale skin almost looks tan in this picture. There is something else that is what makes your heart skip a beat: she’s smiling and laughing with the same carefree abandon as Hayley. Okay, now you have to accept that it’s butterflies you feel in your stomach. Because it’s the exact same feeling that you had when you first laid eyes on her.

Sarah Jane returns to the kitchen because apparently, pancakes burn if you leave them in the frying pan for too long. Well, you’d know this if you've ever had ventured to use something that wasn’t a microwave, but those experiences have always tended to be disastrous. The culinary arts are not exactly your forte.

Your eyes continue to roam the room until SJ finally gets your attention and tells you that Sloan is in the bedroom at the end of the hallway on the right. Thanking her, you walk slowly down the hall, grateful that there’s no sign of Carmilla. If Will had an emergency at his mother’s firm, maybe Carmilla had to leave for the same reason.

The hall matches the décor of the rest of the house. There are more white walls with framed photos decorating them, and you linger to admire each one. Of course, most of them are of Hayley. One of them has her in her Ravenclaw costume. Another has a younger version of her smiling with a cute gap in her teeth. There’s one of Carmilla sitting on a tree trunk with Hayley on one lap and Bagheera curled up in the other. Beside that picture, there’s a photo of Mattie holding a newborn baby while smiling softly at the camera. There’s also a picture of Will with Hayley on his shoulders as the blond raises her arms in victory. Even SJ makes an appearance in a photo taken beside a lake. Finally, there’s a drawing in crayon of a little girl with blond hair holding the hand of a thin dark-haired woman. Both have a big smile drawn on their faces, and that damn fluttery feeling almost overwhelms you.

Everyone seems to be really happy in those moments together. However, Carmilla’s mother doesn’t appear in any of the pictures. It’s hard to believe that these people are the same ones that are apparently covering up the misdeeds of a greedy man.

Opposite Carmilla’s door, there’s another room and on that door, is a symbol that you recognize as a ‘Fire’ sigil with Hayley’s name written in blue and silver cursive letters. You smile at it as you open the door of the other bedroom.

When you look inside, you feel a pang in your heart; but it’s not an unpleasant one. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

In the wide bed, three bodies lie tangled in white sheets, lost to the world of dreams.

The first one on the left has its tangled blond curls resting on the chest of the one in the middle, holding her tightly while somehow managing to have their foot out of the bed where it almost reaches the floor.

The person on the right is someone that you know very well, but you have never had seen her like this. She’s curled up in the fetal position with her head resting on an arm that is not yours while cuddling Bagheera to her chest.

But it’s the third one in the middle that makes your jaw drop to the floor. She’s lying on her back, while your daughter uses her right arm as a pillow. Carmilla’s hand is gently cradling Sloan’s head.

Carmilla is dressed in black shorts that match her tank top, and you can’t help noticing how well they fit her. As if you needed one more reason for your poor heart to burst. How can she make you blush this way when she’s only sleeping? And the features of her face don't make it things any easier. Her lips are parted, and she looks completely relaxed. Those same lips that you dared to kiss once and may Voldemort blast you if you’re not tempted to kiss them again. Now.

You don't know how long have you been there taking in this domestic yet heartwarming scene, but when you recompose yourself and try to sneakily close the door, a little tentative whisper freezes you.

 "Laur?" says Hayley, with a sleepy voice and half-lidded eyes. But that doesn’t last for more than a split second. "Laura!" she cries delightedly as she jumps from the bed and runs to hug you. Somehow you manage to catch the little blonde whirlwind in your arms when she launches herself at you.

Carmilla sits up immediately, her eyes still almost closed. She looks so adorably lost that you can’t help but smile. Her bedhead covers part of her face, and her startled awakening also wakes your daughter who looks around her in the same disoriented way. You almost feel sorry for poor Bagheera who races from the room in fright at the sudden hustle and bustle.

 "What the frilly hell…" says Carmilla sleepily as she finally opens her eyes and it’s really unfair that she should be so cute when she’s just woken up. And to make it even worse, she starts blushing when she finally lays eyes on you

Score one point for Laura Hollis! You've made Carmilla Karnstein blush.

“Good morning, sleepyheads," you manage to giggle even though Hayley has a vice-like grip on your torso.

Carmilla still seems like a fish out of water as she opens and closes her mouth trying to speak.

 "Good morning, Ma," replies Sloan as she yawns. She rubs her eyes and tries to move her bangs out of her face as she gradually wakes up.

Carmilla continues staring confusedly at you and by Dumbledore if only you could kiss her to wipe away that confusion.

Carmilla

Between dreams, you’re vaguely aware of someone pushing you toward the center of your bed. When you turn, your daughter is snuggling up next to you. As you place your arm around her shoulders, she settles comfortably on your chest. But your other arm is uncomfortable now because you realize that Sloan is lying on top of that. You stroke her hair fondly and return to your dream.

It’s not much different from this scene though. The only difference is that someone is missing. A very specific someone that would make this perfect.

The next thing you know is that your daughter is shouting. You have no idea why, but over the years you’ve have learned to wake up instantly when you hear her, either because she’s had a nightmare or because she’s up early to spend as much time with you as possible on those days you take a holiday from work. The second is rare but still happens more often than you would prefer. How did you manage to adopt a daughter who’s such a morning person?

You’re still only half awake though, but you can see Hayley is hugging someone tightly. Even for her, that’s unusual at this hour.

"What the frilly hell…" you mutter.

Your brain freezes when you realize who’s holding Hayley. What is Laura Hollis doing standing at your bedroom door? Are you dreaming? You must be because this is too good to be true.

Laura wishes all of you a good morning and your brain decides to shut down completely. That’s just typical as soon as Laura looks at you. Your job, market research and hundreds of ad campaigns have just gone walkies along with your usual smooth talk! You can hardly remember your own name. And why the hell are you blushing?

You’re barely aware of Sloan’s sleepy voice returning her mother’s greeting.

There are so many reasons you’re glad to have SJ around. She loves your daughter almost as if she were her own. She’s taken care of her since she was a baby. After your siblings, Sarah Jane has been like a third aunt to her. Your house is spotless thanks to her attention. And now, you can add one more thing to the list when she calls from the kitchen that breakfast is ready.

Hayley leaps from Laura’s grasp and grabs Sloan by the hand to drag her (almost literally) to the kitchen.

Actually, scratch that last one. You have nothing to thank SJ for and grumpily consider lowering her salary. Because Laura is still standing there without saying anything and the silence is so heavy that it’s almost suffocating.

"Hey," says Laura, a little cautiously.

"Hey," you manage to reply. Nice job!

"I'm so sorry I disturbed you, but SJ told me that Sloan was in here and I thought that you were out and I decided to come in so I’m sorry for being so rude because if I had known that you were with her I never would have dared to enter without permission and…"

"Laura, relax. I understand." You may be glad to see her, but it’s still too early for this.

Four words. Bravo, Karnstein! No wonder you’re the top advertising executive in Austria.

Laura is still standing in front of you, and you try to stretch out your body as best as you can. As much as you love the girls, sleeping with them practically on top of you isn’t the best way to get some rest. When you do, you catch Laura starring at you, slack jawed, and her eyes are popping out of her head. When you lower your gaze, you discover that your tank top has ridden up to show off your toned abs.

You raise an eyebrow and smile at the thirsty look in Laura’s eyes. This, you can deal with.

"Karnstein genetics, Creampuff," you say with a wink as you stroke your stomach.

The blond comes to her senses, realizing for the first time that she was devouring you with her eyes and immediately diverts her gaze toward the window. The adorable blush that you love to see on her face is back.

"Carm…"

"Hey. I know that this is probably a bad time, but I wanted to apologize for Mattie’s behavior the other day.

"It’s okay, you really don't have to do that."

You sit on the edge of your bed and pat the space beside you, inviting Laura to take a seat. But when she does, you don't know what else to say. In fact, you hadn’t planned on seeing her so soon and with everything that has happened since her birthday, you’re not sure how to fix this.

"Laura, I swear that Mattie didn't know anything. It was an off-the-cuff comment. As soon as I heard it, I had to intervene."

Laura only focuses on a spot on your carpet which she seems to find endlessly fascinating

"Creampuff, please look at me," you beg. But when she does, her eyes are full of heartbreak, and she still doesn’t say anything.

"Laura, I swear that none of that was intentional. I’d never let anyone hurt you that way. Not even my sister."

You take her hands between yours and draw them into your lap.

"I know that you have no reason to believe me, but please, give me a chance to show you that I’m telling you the truth.”

Laura looks you straight in the eye, struggling to hold back tears and it breaks your heart.

"Carm, I don't know..."

She removes her hands from yours and gets up to leave the room.

It’s happening again. Laura Hollis is walking out of your life. Are you going to let her go again? The only woman in years that has made you feel something. The only one that has made you believe that you can be happy with someone. The only one that that warms your heart that way every time you see her smile. The only one that you want to love for the rest of your days.

Whoa! Where did that come from?

Ah hell, no!

You leap up, brush past Laura to close the door and stand in front of it, arms folded. For once, Laura is speechless.

"You're not going to walk out on me again Laura without at least listening to what I have to say to you. On the night of your birthday, you didn't even let me try and ease your doubts about me. That morning, at the conference, you ignored me when I called you. Not today, Laura.”

"Carm…"

"You want to know if I just want to spend a night with you?"

It’s hard to tell if Laura’s silent response is a yes or a no. Perhaps not even she knows. You approach her slowly because you don't want to scare her away.

" Yes, I want to spend a night with you."

The disappointment on her face almost makes you falter.

"I want to spend two nights with you, I want to spend three nights, I would like to spend twenty, I want to spend thousands, forever even. If you’ll have me."

Laura looks relieved as she sheds a tear and tries to wipe it away. As for you, you’re powerless to do anything other than step close enough to take her face between your hands and wipe it away with your thumb.

"In all my life, I never found someone that was worth fighting for more than you. Even though your adorable rambling drives me crazy, even if you have a bigger sweet tooth than my daughter, and even if I must look at all the Harry Potter movies a thousand times more, I only want to be with you. "

Laura laughs between your hands, and there it is, the smile that makes it all worthwhile. Although you’ve started to cry too, you’re still grinning like a fool.

"Just give me a chance, Laura. Please?"

Laura

" I want to spend a night with you."

This is when your whole world shatters. Yes, you wanted an answer, but this one is exactly why you left her that night. You didn't want to hear it. You didn’t want to be someone’s one-night stand.