Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Natasha had gotten off the grid and government radar after things started to settle down again. Of course, Tony had offered a spot still at the compound to her but she'd disappeared the next day, obviously declining. She dropped by Clint's home for a few minutes, checking in on his family but not saying hello. She wanted to make sure they were okay but hadn't wanted to put them a in any sort of danger.

She'd picked up a new cover in Italy during that time and she secured a remote villa in the more northern part of the Mediterranean country amongst the hilly and mountainous landscape. There was a quaint, technologically retro village about ten minutes away where she could pick up groceries when she needed to.

She'd had the villa up her sleeve for something like this but it wasn't until now that she had moved in. It had been used as an old SSR base back in the day, making it a highly secure hiding spot, plus it had been thought to have been blown up at some point. Luck was with her in this.

It was comfortable lodging and as said, highly secure, being a regular villa above ground. But only above ground. Natasha kept the basement locked up, not wanting to wake up any blips on someone's radar by messing with something.

So far, it had been a month since the whole ordeal with the Accords and chasing down Barnes. The Avengers were broken and she was scared they would never get back together again. Natasha had been hiding out there for a good part of that month but it wasn't until now that she felt off. And alone.

She felt nauseous, bloated and achy but she couldn't get someone's second opinion about what was wrong since she stayed isolated, not talking to anyone whenever she went into the village. She only stayed in contact with T'Challa since he was of no danger to her or visa versa.

Presently, she laid on her bed, gazing at the slightly cracked ceiling. She added that to a small list of things she had to attend to that day. Her balcony doors were open, letting the curtains flutter in the cool morning breeze. The breeze slid up her bare legs and she slowly closed her eyes, humming quietly at the luxurious feeling. She really didn't have to get up yet if she didn't want to. Sliding her fingers up, she traced her stomach and then stopped. Realizing that it was firm instead of soft like fat would create, she frowned and pressed her palm to it. That definitely was not normal. Her pulse quickened a bit as possible conclusions fluttered through her head, the last one causing her to sit and stand in one fluid motion.

Padding across the cool floor, she approached her dresser and opened it, sliding on pants and a shirt. She used her hip to close the drawers as she gathered her fiery red hair up into a messy bun. Her feet met the stairs in a matter of minutes, leading her nearer to the front door. This couldn't be possible but it was the only logical explanation. Grabbing her phone and wallet, she paused at the door, slipping her feet into her boots. Her jacket was pulled off its hook and put on along with her black, knitted hat that covered most of her hair.

She gazed at herself in the mirror and blinked a couple times, noticing the slightly more full shape of her face. Her brows furrowed a bit but she pulled a few strands of curls out to frame her face to contrast it. Humming in satisfaction, she opened the front door.

Natasha stepped outside, closing the door behind her. She paused on the steps as she thought through a few things. Shifting her feet slowly off the steps, she quietly made her way to where she parked her small car. She unlocked it and slipped inside, sighing quietly.

Her pale hands clasped the leather wheel and her head rested back against the seat. "Mm.." She stretched her fingers and then pushed her keys into the ignition, starting her car's engine.

------

Natasha entered the drugstore and smiled at a few of the customers as she walked by. Keeping a careful eye out and avoiding showing her face to cameras, she made her way down towards the section she needed. Her fingers reached out for the product and then froze. Who was she kidding? This wasn't even possible. Not after what the Red Room had done to her. Her fingertips tapped the box slowly. Right?

She bit her lip and took the box quickly off the shelf, shuffling away towards the checkout counter. *"Hello." She smiled softly, using her knowledge of Italian as she spoke. "Just this please."

The cashier looked up and then scanned the item, ringing it up. "Are you and your partner trying for kids?" The woman asked kindly and Natasha blushed softly, ducking her head.

"Yes." She lied and pulled a bill out of her wallet to pay for the pregnancy test. No, she really wasn't. She wasn't even with anyone anymore. The lady nodded and pointed to where Natasha had just been standing.

"You can grab another for free, it's better to double check, yes?" She handed Natasha the change and the redhead opened her mouth to protest before smiling.

"Thank you so much." She murmured and turned away, awkwardly swiping another test from off the shelf as she walked by. She tucked both slender boxes into her jackets pocket and exited the store.

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she looked up and down the street before deciding to pick up a few groceries since she was already out and about. Natasha went down to the small market and purchased a few bags of things before making it back to her car.

She sat into the car with the darkly tinted windows and locked the doors, letting out a shaky breath. Her balance was off. Usually she was super alert but she'd zoned out multiple times while she was out shopping. She needed to calm down.

Her delicate but gently calloused fingers reached out, fumbling with the knobs before turning on the radio. She turned it on to a local music station and then closed her eyes, opting to wait in the car for a few moments before turning it on.

*I don't speak Italian so this section all dialogue was spoke in Italian*
-----

Positive. Both tests were undoubtedly positive with the two little, dreaded lines on the plastic screen and Natasha once again found herself laying on her back on her bed.

"Shit." She muttered and closed her eyes. "You're Steve's.." Her hand drifted over what she now identified as her baby bump as she addressed the child growing within her. She sat back up and leaned her back against the headboard. It only makes sense he would be the father. She had only been intimately involved with Steve in the last year. Whatever the Red Room had done to her must've healed over the years away from their procedures.

This was a huge problem. In many levels.

One, she was on her own in hiding with no way to get help with this pregnancy. There was always the option of not continuing the pregnancy but Natasha thought about who the father was and couldn't even seriously think about going through with said option. She loved him too much. Two, Steve was a fugitive and who knows where he was. Well, she knew he was most likely in Wakanda because she'd been in some contact with T'Challa; there were some hints she picked up on. "Besides, I can't just bust him out of hiding for this.." She whispered and pulled her knees up while shaking her head. Her face buried into her knees and she squeezed her arms around them.

Her mind raced through the different consequences, hyperventilating a bit before taking a slow, deep breath. She shuddered, whimpering and then dug her nails into her skin. "You've always wanted a family, Nat. So.. so do what you have to do." She persuaded herself and slid her fingers down her legs slowly, making marks. "Do what you have to do... Do what you have... To do." She breathed in and out, relaxing her hands before sliding back to a laying position.

"I can do this."

Chapter Text

Natasha was going on 6 months and she'd slipped into a depressed state having been on her own for so long in this situation. She stood on the balcony that she entered from doors in the living room. The balcony stretched out and would've been a regular ground floor patio if it hadn't been on the cliff.

The largely pregnant woman stood at the metal railing, looking out at the sea with eyes that had softened over the last few months. "Your father is a great hero." She whispered, running her hands over her swollen belly, the silky fabric of her nightgown shifting about with the movements. "But sadly... I'm not, love." She glanced down and her thumb brushed over her protruding bellybutton. Recently, she'd begun to feel the child move within her and it made her heart speed up with excitement.

She felt so alone but not at those special moments. They assured her she wouldn't be alone for much longer. The sun was setting on the sparkling waters of the Mediterranean and she curled her fingers around the railing, sighing gently and wishing fiercely that Steve could've been there standing with her.

But no, she wouldn't risk his security. Natasha pulled away from the railing and walked into the house quietly, shutting the double doors behind her with a soft click. Her phone was buzzing on the counter and she raised an eyebrow, picking it up quickly once she got there.

"Who's this?" She asked skeptically as she accepted the call. There was a low chuckle from the other end of the line and her tensed muscles relaxed slowly at the familiar voice.

"Natasha.. you didn't look at the caller ID? How unprofessional." The king teased her softly and she narrowed her eyes a little with a smile.

"Don't make fun of me, T'Challa. It was an unknown number." She pressed a hand to her hip and slowly made her way to one of her couches. He laughed once again, his voice sounding echoey like he was in a spacious room.

"Ah, Ms. Romanoff you are too fun to lightly mess with," He sighed and she could hear the small smile in his voice.

She rolled her eyes and clutched the phone tighter, sinking into the cushions. "Something you needed? Why're you calling me?" She hummed.

He cleared his throat and then hummed as well. "Checking in to make sure you were okay.." He responded. "Your messages from last night caused me to get a feeling a distress from you."

She opened her mouth in a soundless 'ah' and bit her lip. "Yes.. sorry. Please ignore it, I was very tired." She murmured and there was a shifting sound from T'Challa's end.

"Natasha.. is there something you're not telling me?" He asked after a while and she snorted loudly.

"Many things, your Highness. I'm a spy." She retorted, gaining a exasperated sounding sigh from the man as she obviously danced around the topic.

"You know what I mean." He muttered and she got a sinking feeling in her stomach. She knew she was about to tell him but she didn't know how the man would react.

Natasha stood up and walked into her kitchen, pacing a little as she searched for a lighter. She just listened to his even, gentle breathing as he patiently waited for her reply. As her fingers clasped the lighter, she moved to light the scented candle that sat on the countertop. Now or never, Nat..

"I... Well. I found out I am pregnant." The ex-assassin soon replied and there was a sharp intake of breath from T'Challa. "But no need to worry about me. I'm fine all by.... All by myself."

"That- How far along are you?" He asked and she could almost hear the furrow that was created between his brows.

"Six months." She squeaked quietly and T'Challa slightly grunted.

"What was that?"

"I.. I said, six months."

"Six.." He groaned softly and she could hear a door open as his footsteps echoed. "It's not good to go through that alone, Ms. Romanoff."

"I'm fine." She snapped and sat up with a grunt, tightening her grip on the phone.

".. Who's the father?" He changed the topic, knowing he would lose the fight of trying to help her. It sent shudders through her and her heart clenched. She almost couldn't speak, it was like the words died in her throat and her mouth went dry. At her long silence, T'Challa spoke again, sounding concerned. "Natasha?"

"The father," She struggled to get the words out and she squeezed her eyes out. "The baby.. the baby's father is Steve.. Captain Rogers-"

There was a surprised noise from him as he went silent for a long time. He seemed to be thinking through the situation. "Have you told him about his child?" He asked, his voice much more gentle and non prying.

Natasha shook her head before remembering that she was speaking over the phone. "No-"

"You must tell hi-"

"No. I can't. He can't know, don't tell him." She said firmly as his voice sounded taken aback as he responded.

"But that is not a secret you should keep from someone." He tried to use a tone of reason but Natasha wasn't having it.

"Do not tell him, T'Challa.. He's safe where he is in Wakanda so we leave it."

"He's not in my country." T'Challa tried to cover up, sounding surprised.

"Don't bullshit me, I can read you." She muttered and he sighed heavily, staying quiet for a bit.

"I will not tell him.. though I urge you to speak to hi-"

"Good night, T'Challa." She murmured and hung up, cutting him off. Dropping the cellular device to the counter, she closed her eyes and groaned. No. There was no way she could tell Steve. They hadn't even been officially together, who was to say Steve wanted this in the first place.

Besides, she'd heard rumors that his feelings were towards Sharon Carter as much as it broke her heart to think about. Natasha and Steve had taken a break before the Accords but the Accords were finally what ripped them apart. But whose to say that he hadn't been feeling a certain way towards Sharon for longer. They'd had an open relationship. Anything could've happened.

Natasha didn't realize she was crying until she noticed her body was trembling. She hiccuped softly and sank back into the couch as she made it over there. This whole situation had made her weak, she thought bitterly, leaving her weepy and emotional.

"God, Steve.. I want you here so bad." She whispered, voice breaking as she laid down on her side, more tears blurring her voice. "S-So bad.." She murmured, lips being to tremble as her face scrunched up.

She felt so terribly helpless and alone but she refused T'Challa's help because she knew it'd bring it to Steve's attention. She hadn't felt this alone since the Red Room because at any other point after then, she'd had at least Clint but she was out of contact with him.

"Steve.." She croaked again and curled her toes slowly. Her whole body ached with longing but she couldn't let herself give into the temptation of contacting him. She just couldn't.

-----

T'Challa called to check in every week, making Natasha a bit annoyed that he was making himself so involved. She knew he was just concerned since he knew he was the only person she talked to. But that didn't make it any less annoying to her.

She was now 9 months pregnant and the baby could come literally any day now, making T'Challa's calls become more and more frequent. He repeatedly tried to talk her into admitting herself to a hospital or coming to Wakanda but she refused each time, saying she could handle it by herself. That definitely did nothing to ease his conscience and he thought about telling Steve but he decided to keep his promise.

Natasha had just gotten off the phone with T'Challa and she was finishing her dishes up, putting them away carefully. There was a dull pain in her stomach but she continued to ignore it as she went about her daily tasks. The pain soon spread to her lower back, fluctuating between mild and more intense.

She remained stubborn in doing her daily tasks, walking upstairs to start cleaning the bathroom up there. It wasn't until her water broke that she realized what was happening and suddenly everything became very real. "Oh no you don't." She muttered, pressing her hands to the sink. She realized how scared she was and that she wanted to be somewhere where she could get help. Her eyes were wide with threatening tears as panic and fear coursed through even as the contractions became worse. "I-I gotta go."

She turned out of the bathroom before gasping in pain, pressing her hands to her stomach. The contractions were already too close together as she hadn't noticed them in the last few days. Her eyes flickered about and she stumbled slowly to her bedroom, flinching and grunting in pain. This was not going to be fun.

Time passed and she was laying on her left side in absolute pain, no one knowing what was going on. Tears streamed down her face and she panted heavily, groaning. "N-No, I can't do this.." She sobbed and curled up a little before having to straighten out again. "I-I can't."

She kept repeating that phrase to herself along with calling herself an idiot for not listening to T'Challa. It went on for hours and Natasha swore she'd never been in so much pain before physically at least. She had no one to sit with her, helping her through this. No one had a clue what was happening and T'Challa most likely wouldn't call for hours.

Her labor went on for hours but early the next morning, she had brought her child into the world by herself. She sobbed with exhausted breaths and brought the infant to her chest, ignoring the uncleanliness. She let out a shuddering breath before beginning to stroke the child's back and ribs to mimic breathing to help him start breathing. "Hey, sweetheart.." She whispered and sighed with relief once she began to feel him breathe.

The infant gurgled with distressed noises, crying in a pathetically tiny voice. It broke Natasha's heart and she shushed him with a gentle voice and sat herself up a little, keeping him close. "I've got you love, mama's got you, shh..."

She reached out for her phone and unlocked it, shakily typing out the emergency number. She let it ring and then brought it to her ear. The operator asked what was the matter and she closed her eyes.

"I need an ambulance.. I... I just delivered my child at home.. by myself. I'm all alone." She panted and held the phone a bit tighter. The operator exclaimed a little and then assured her they would be there right away after she told them the address.

The man stayed on the phone with her, walking her through what she needed to do as she waited if she could. She did as much as she could and when the EMTs finally arrived with a stretcher, she passed out, unable to stay awake any longer.

Chapter Text

Natasha woke to a gentle, even beeping but she kept her eyes closed, taking in the sounds around her. She noticed after a bit that there was someone sitting next to her.. or near her. After a bit, her nose began to feel irritated and she lifted her hand, feeling to find a breathing tube connected to her nose. "Mmph.."

The chair next to her creaked and there was a long exhale, causing her eyes to crack open slightly. "You see, bud. You mom is a class A idiot."

Her lips curled into a smile and her eyes slid open with a confused look of surprise. "Language." Natasha croaked, calling out the other on speaking bad presumably in front of her child.

"I know how to deal with kids, Nat." The man chuckled and she turned her head weakly, gazing at her best friend. He sat in a comfortable chair, a small bundle securely held in his arms. His grey eyes weren't on her, rather affectionately looking down at the infant. "Also, you didn't tell me you were pregnant, Nat. I'm a bit offended."

"I didn't even know where you were, Clinton. You weren't in any of your covers." She accused, frowning a bit. It wasn't her fault she never contacted him.

"You could have easily tracked me down." Clint retorted and stroked his thumb against the infant's chubby cheek.

Natasha's eyes drifting down to the bundle and she bit her lip. "The baby--"

"Healthy, don't worry. He's pretty tiny but surprisingly very healthy," Clint hummed and finally looked up, seeing the tears in her eyes. "Its a boy... I got a nephew." He grinned and stood up slowly, walking to sit on the edge of her bed.

"Yes, you do.." She whispered and timidly held up her hands, wanting to desperately hold her child. Clint carefully settled him into her arms, making sure she had a grip on him correctly. "I know how to hold a baby, Clint."

"Yeah, but you're weak." He muttered in concern and kept his hands on her arms. "Which brings me to my question.. what the hell were you doing alone?"

"I... I thought I could handle it myself." She replied in a quiet voice, drawing an almost angry sigh from Clint.

"Yeah, well because your stubborn Russian ass thought that, you almost died." He stated and her eyes widened in surprise. She hadn't thought it was that bad but she took into account the breathing tube and IV.

"Wha-"

"I've been tracking you casually on and off and it just so /happened/ that you had been admitted to intensive care. I hauled ass over here and answered a dozen phone calls from T'Challa.. You've been out for a couple days." Clint rambled and tears grew in his eyes before he pinched his nose.

"Sorry.." Her voice shook and she held the infant closer to her chest, sniffling a little. Clint let out a shaky breath and then leaned forward, kissing her forehead. He let his lips linger there as he closed his eyes.

She could feel his lips trembling and she felt guilty as he pulled back. "I'm just glad you're awake now." He finally finished and shifted to sit against the headboard with her.

He scooted her over and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek and then kissing the baby's forehead. "Clint.."

"You're like my sister, Natasha.. I can't lose you so stop with the reckless crap, okay?" He muttered, not letting her continue and she sighed, leaning into him.

"Promise.." Natasha rested her head on his shoulder and held the infant closer. He began to stir and her attention was quickly caught by this. As two wide blue eyes peeked open, she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

Clint smiled slowly again and drew her closer to himself so that he could watch her interaction. "Hey there, love.." She smiled happily as the infant giggled in response. "You recognize mama's voice?" She cooed and moved him closer to her face. "O-Oh.. he's so beautiful-" She sobbed softly and she felt Clint's arms tighten around her protectively.

"Looks like you." He murmured but she shook her head.

"No, he looks like Steve.." She whispered, taking in the child's features. Clint made a low hum and sounded fairly relieved.

"Cap's the dad?" He pressed and she nodded. He closed his eyes slightly. "Good.. I'm glad I know /and/ trust this kiddo's dad."

"You thought it was a one night stand or something?" Natasha asked, sounding a bit offended and Clint lifted his hand in a defensive way.

"Did /not/ say that. Though I didn't know what to think because I didn't know you were in anything serious." He defended himself but his words only created a loneliness in her eyes.

"I wasn't.. it was just.. on and off- Steve doesn't know." She shook her head again and shifted a bit as the small boy began to grow fussy and restless.

"Doesn't know? Nat, you gotta tell him." Clint stated firmly and she glared at him, pushing away a bit.

"Oh, no. Don't you start too," She growled lightly and adjusted the baby's position so that he could breastfeed. "I don't want Steve to know. Okay? My decision."

Clint opened his mouth to protest before Natasha's glare convinced him otherwise. "Fine.."

"Anyhow.. how'd you find me?" She whispered, feeling a bit unsecure since it was a new cover. This brought a laugh from Clint and she looked away as he hugged her close again.

"Aw, Nat. That's cute. You think I ever lost you? I keep track of you because I worry about you.. but don't stress out, your cover is secure and very good." She relaxed only a bit after he said that and gazed down at the child suckling on her breast. She sighed gently and stroked his head slowly.

Changing the topic, she kept affectionately touching the baby's neck and back. "You know.. I never thought of baby names for some reason.. want to help me?"

Clint gladly agreed and held her close as they talked.

Chapter Text

Hey guys. Sorry for the long wait!

I'm working on the next chapter (you all are going to hate me, you're welcome) and it should be up soon.

As for me, I'm so sorry I've kept you waiting. I've been in and out of inpatient, outpatient and partial programs over the last month or so for my mental health so I hope y'all will understand.

I haven't forgotten about you! And thanks for being such a fantastic audience~

To hopefully hold you over until the next chapter is out, I've started a new fanfiction that I started coming up with while in inpatient at the hospital. It's an IronHawk omegaverse fanfiction, so definitely not everyone's cup of tea but if you're interested, check it out.

Chapter Text

Grant Clinton Romanov.

Natasha reached her hand through the wall that divided her from her son. "Hey, mister.." She murmured and watched as the baby wrapped his small hand around her finger. Clint stood by and watched, chewing on his bottom lip.

He'd held the child for the first few days while Natasha recuperated but as Natasha got better, Grant got worse. It went from being able to hold the healthy little boy to watching the weak kid as he struggled to breathe from behind the clear wall of his cradle.

Clint watched as Natasha kept her face rested against the wall, stroking the back of Grant's small hand with her thumb. He tentatively walked forward and rested his hands on her shoulders. He leaned down and kissed her cheek before whispering in her ear.

"Nat?.. Nat. Can I talk to you please?" He had to pull her away from the cradle and she started crying softly, rubbing at her nose. "Hey, hey.."

Natasha wrapped her arms around his waist. "Why is he so sick? He was so.. healthy and happy.. and." Clint hushed her and kissed her hair as she buried her face into his neck. He shook his head and rocked back and forth with her, humming gently.

"I think it's time to tell Steve, Nat. His son is born and very sick. He should know Grant is, well, Grant. He's a real baby who needs his dad," Clint whispered and rubbed up her back. He pressed another kiss to her hair when she pulled away. "Nat."

"No. No, Clint I can't," She whimpered, shaking her head. Her red-rimmed green eyes shifted to look at Grant, his tiny body heaving slightly with a mask strapped over his small mouth and nose. "He's safe and hidden away."

Clint grabbed her wrist gently and was about to say something when the doctor walked in, calling Natasha away. Clint rubbed her hand before letting it go as she left. He sat down next to the cradle and smiled softly at his nephew. "Hey.."

Natasha closed the door behind her nervously and wiped away the tears, folding her hands behind her.

"We've looked over everything about Grant, ran all the tests and he's perfectly healthy."

Natasha laughed bitterly and wiped away her tears again, her voice breaking as she talked. "He's so sick, how can he be 'perfectly healthy' when he's.. so weak?"

The doctor shook his head and took her hands, feeling really bad. "But.. we decided to look into his DNA because we're so stumped on what's wrong. We did find something."

Natasha quickly wiped away her tears again and nodded, furrowing her brows. "Yeah? Yeah? What'd you find?"

The doctor paused, not knowing exactly what to say which only caused Natasha to grow more and more worried. He noticed this and nodded quickly. "It's something we've never seen before.." Natasha's eyes widened and she bit the the nail on her thumb, waiting for him to continue. "It's his actual DNA.. it seems to be decaying."

Natasha looked shocked, her eyes dulling a bit as she thought over what that meant.

"So fundamentally, he's breaking apart and we're not sure why or how to stop it." The doctor continued and Natasha removed herself from the situation, going back inside the room in order to kick Clint out of the chair so she could sit. She reached in to her son and rubbed his soft skin, new quiet tears streaming down her cheeks.

-----------

Tony had stayed at the Avengers Compound, upgrading it and working on different projects to fill his time. Of course, he had Peter Parker to deal with but it felt so empty and didn't really feel like a home anymore.

The very last thing he expected, though was hearing a familiar voice as he answered his private phone.

"Tony, I need your help."

No hello, no 'how are you doing?'. Nothing.

"Okay, then you shouldn't have made yourself a wanted criminal, Clint." He responded, scratching at his beard. The reason he didn't hang up right there was because he missed that voice. Hearing Clint's voice was like going back to when they were all still a family.

Clint laughed lightly, hearing the teasing tone. "No, it's not for me. It's for Nat. And Steve."

Upon hearing that, Tony frowned and sat down, adjusting the phone a little. "Go on."

"Y'see.. Nat was pregnant-"

"Whoa hold up, Nat?" Tony leaned forward and raised his eyebrows. "Was pregnant? What's that supposed to mean? Was? Oh. Wait."

Clint cut him off again with a grunt and sighed. "Was, yes. She had the baby. The baby's father is Steve."

Tony leaned back slowly, eyes wide. "I was not expecting that," He murmured and laughed breathlessly, lips parted. "Anyways... What am I supposed to do about babies?"

"The baby is sick." Clint sighed once again, sounding tired and maybe even scared. Tony played with his bottom lip.

"Does Steve know?" He asked cautiously, tapping his foot on the ground. There was a long pause from Clint and Tony raised his brows more. "You told me before you told Steve that his kid is sick?"

"Well," Clint said slowly and tried to word it correctly, instead just blurting it out. "Steve doesn't know he even has a son."

Instead of questioning the logic behind that, Tony shook his head and went back to the problem at hand. "Anyways, what do you expect me to be able to do about a sick kid?" That was the part that confused him the most.

Clint was quiet for another length of time before speaking up again. "Well.. the doctor said he's perfectly healthy in every way except for the fact that his DNA is decaying," He responded softly and Tony's heart skipped a beat. Despite never meeting the kid, just knowing that it was the son of two of his best friends, made him terrified at that statement. "I'm willing to bet it's doing that because Steve is a supersoldier and his DNA would be altered a bit, right?"

Tony stood up and started walking down towards his lab, brows furrowed deeply. "Yeah.." He hummed and Clint took a deep breath.

"Well that's why I'm reaching out to you. You're probably the most familiar with the serum seeing as how your dad was directly involved with it."

Tony grunted and sat down at his computer, opening up all his dad's files on Steve's blood and the serum as he listened to Clint. "That is a fair... And true statement." He started re-memorizing and copying things over to a more portable platform. "Where are you? I need to be there."

Clint hesitated, scared to give up their location but as his head turned to look at his closest friend asleep with her finger held onto by her child, he caved easily. "Italy." He described their exact location and Tony thanked him, soon hanging up as he hastened to throw together what he needed. He asked Happy to ready his private plane, telling him not to ask questions and to not tell anyone else.

-----

It was probably the fastest trip Tony had ever taken and he was at the hospital the next day. Clint met him at the doors, leading him up towards the room. Natasha was awake again but Clint hadn't told her about having told Tony so imagine her surprise when the billionaire walked through the door.

"Hey, Natasha," Tony greeted but didn't linger long as he made his way over to Grant's bed. He had Friday scan over the baby from the tablet and he turned to Natasha. "Clint told me about him and I'm just here to help."

Natasha was speechless as she watched Tony move about, trying to figure out what to do. After he got the scans he needed, he moved to sit on another chair as he quietly began comparing things and calculating. Clint was worried she'd be mad at him but he gave a sigh of relief as Natasha scooted to sit next to Tony.

"His name is Grant... By the way." She watched what Tony was doing and he threw her a soft smile.

"That's Steve's middle name, isn't it?" He asked and Natasha nodded. He leaned in and gave her shoulders a squeeze. "Congratulations.. by the way. And don't worry, I'll save your kid."

Natasha rested her head on his shoulder, sniffing a little and Tony rested his head on top of hers as he worked. They sat there quietly for hours as Clint watched Grant, talking to him softly.

It wasn't long after dinner that Tony finally spoke up. "I need Steve to be here." He turned off the tablet and Natasha sat up with a nervous look.

"Why?"

Tony looked at her and scratched his beard once again. "First off, Steve should've been the first person notified but now I need him. If I want to stabilize Grant I need Steve's blood in order to make a serum to do that," He explained, causing Natasha to wilt visibly. Without another word, Natasha got up, ringing up T'Challa on her phone.

She walked over to the cradle and reached inside, holding Grant's hand as she talked the Wakandan king into letting her talk to Steve.

"Natasha?" Steve's voice was soft and worried, a wonderful balm to her soul as she listened to him.

"Hi.." She replied carefully, pressing her hand to her chest, holding the phone between her ear and shoulder as she stroked Grant's hand.

"What's up? T'Challa said you needed me for something important."

Natasha nodded but then realized it was over the phone. "Yes.. it's about our son."

There was a very long pause from the other line before Steve replied with a choked up sound. "O-Our son? Since... Since when did we have a son?" He sounded like he was in the verge of tears and Natasha bit her lip.

"Since a week and a half ago.. his name is Grant Clinton Romanov," She told him, her heart pounding in her chest as Steve let out a breathy laugh followed by a soft sob off to the side. "He's very sick and he wants his daddy.."

"I'm.. I'm on my way."

Chapter Text

He had a son.

Steve Rogers had a son.

His son was dying.

Steve had settled into the back of the jet as Sam piloted because the other man hadn't trusted the ex-soldier to fly by himself. He pulled his hands away with a shuddering breath and gazed down at his hands as they trembled badly. His lips wobbled and he shook his head, biting down hard on his bottom lip.

The bite cracked open the already damaged lip, causing Steve to wince a little from his bad habit. "Damn it."

He stood up and crossed his arms tightly, pacing the length of the jet. "What if we're too late, Sam?" He finally spoke up, glancing towards his friend.

Sam didn't respond at first and when he did, he tried to keep his voice even enough for Steve's mental sake.

"He's your kid, Steve.. and Nat's. He's got two of the strongest parents so he's got more of a fighting chance than any other baby.." He replied slowly, not wanting to give the man false hope but also wanting to support him in some way. "Besides, Stark's there and despite your disagreements, he's not going to let your son die."

Steve clenched his hands a little and blinked back tears as he cleared his throat.

"Okay."

He rubbed his nose slowly and cleared his throat again, trying to keep the emotions down. He moved to stand next to Sam as they landed in the grassy field next to the hospital, their jet still cloaked. He got out first and started towards the building swiftly.

His even steps soon quickened and as his feet hit the gravel of the parking lot, he was sprinting. Tears slid down his cheeks and spilled into his beard as he ran up stairs, pushing back personnel. A few security were following him until he burst into the room he'd been told Natasha was in.

"I'm here."

The startled eyes of Tony and Clint found Steve's face as sobs filled the room. Clint immediately caught Steve's arm and pushed him out of the room, shaking.

Natasha's cries made Steve's blood run cold and he weakly struggled against Clint. "What happened? W-What happened?" He grunted, panic rising in him. No, No, No. This can't be happening.

After Clint's words hit his ears, he didn't register collapsing to his knees.

"We lost him."

Clint dropped next to him, pulling the captain into his arms as Sam skidded around the corner before halting. He soon felt Clint's hand clamp over his mouth as he told him to hush, not even realizing he was screaming.

-------

Natasha's forehead was pressed to the side of divider between her and her son.

"No.. Tony.. We can't have.. we were so close." She croaked and squeezed Grant's small hand, her lips trembling as countless sobs left her. "Wake up, baby.. wake up... wake up for mommy.. hey.."

Tony slumped into his chair, face in his hands. He shook his head and gritted his teeth. It wasn't too late. It couldn't be. No, something /had/ to be done. This.. He wasn't going to lose his best friends' child. Not on his watch.

Chapter Text

It had been a year and Natasha's relationship with Steve had completely fractured. She stayed at his side but they couldn't look at each other the same.

Natasha couldn't look at Steve right out of guilt and Steve couldn't look at Natasha without blaming her for what happened.

Clint disappeared off with Scott, dealing with the tragic event by getting off the map with someone he could trust.

Tony went back to the compound and found comfort in Pepper again although his failure haunted him every time he closed his eyes. His mind's eye remembered the way Grant's small chest fell in a shuddering breath only to stay still. He remembered the way Natasha screamed at him out of complete raw emotions.

Pepper didn't know the whole story but she never pressed him, knowing how hard of a topic it was.

Tony never stopped, looking for answers as to what happened to the child. Why he couldn't save him.

Just as his father had never stopped looking for Steve Rogers, Tony would never stop looking for his answers.

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Natasha sat on the hotel bed as Wanda settled next to her, wrapping her arms around her. She might've tensed up and pulled away with a jerk a year ago but as she sank in another wave of depression, she leaned into the other woman.

Wanda sighed and stroked Natasha's short, bleached hair. "You should go see Steve, he's not doing well today." She whispered making the assassin's breath intake sharply.

"You know he doesn't like my company anymore.." Natasha murmured and Wanda rolled her eyes, moving to sit behind her as she massaged her shoulders.

"He's unsure and hasn't been able to reconcile with his feelings. That doesn't mean he hates your company..." Wanda tightened her fingers and groaned a little. "Honestly, Nat.. you two have been avoiding each other since you lost Grant. I know it's hard but you can't give up on each other like this. We're the only family everyone of us has.."

Natasha's eyes fell closed and she rubbed her face. She leaned into Wanda's touches as red tendrils wrapped her body. She smiled gently, feeling Wanda's warm presence around her. She tilted her head and wet her lips slowly. "Grant died exactly a year ago.."

"I know. That's why Steve is taking it so hard today."

Natasha reopened her eyes and gazed at the wall where the wallpaper was crumbling off, baring the drywall under it. She worked her jaw slowly and then pulled away Wanda, moving to stand up.

"Your legs better be taking you to Steve's room," Wanda remarked, her voice firm and warning that she'd drag the woman there if she had to.

Natasha grunted slightly and hugged herself as she padded towards the door.

"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah... I'm going- Jesus."

She left Wanda in the room that they shared and then walked down the hallway towards the boys' room. She paused in front of the old door, toes curling into the ratted rug under her feet. You have to be there for him, Nat, she told herself.

Taking a shaking breath as she closed her eyes, her hand moved up to knock on the door. A few tense moments passed before Sam opened the door. He immediately noted the look on Natasha's face, moving aside quickly.

"He's out on the balcony.." He offered a soft smile and Nat gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before making her way outside.

She walked out onto the balcony where Steve leaned against the railing, his shoulders bunched up and tensed. "Hey, big guy.. mind if I join you?" She murmured.

Steve straightened up immediately and ran his fingers through his hair. Natasha stepped out and closed the door behind her, cautiously.

"Steve?" She asked and her voice shook some, waiting for him to acknowledge her. "Steve.. I just want to talk-" She whispered and she walked forward more before Steve whipped around.

Her eyes were wide and her lips trembled as she gazed at the hand that paused centimetres away from her cheek. Steve's eyes were angry and distraught, rimmed in red. His hand started shaking and he curled it into a fist, dropping by his side. Was he actually going to hit Her? Not Steve.. right?

"Why are you here, Natasha? Especially.. especially when today is.. /today/.." He grunted, the words grating as they slipped through clenched teeth, a slight note of guilt in his voice. Natasha lifted her chin and took a shuddering breath.

"I-I wanna say sorry. For being cruel and.. and stupid. For being hard headed and stubborn. For being the reason Grant died because.. because-" She choked on her words as the flood gates opened after many months. She started sobbing as she dug her nails into her palms. She didn't even register when that started to draw blood.

Steve didn't move to console her, he just stood there, studying her body language and analyzing her words.

"Fuck- its... all my god damn fault and- and.." She started hyperventilating as she shook her hands out, turning away. "I'm so, so sorry.."

"Sorry isn't good enough, Romanoff. You stole the one thing I longed for in the world. Hope. Hope for a brighter future.. and.. happiness. A family. A safe place I could escape to."

Each word was pushing the year old knife deeper and deeper into her heart.

A few moments passed and she felt arms wrap around her torso. She started sobbing harder and turned around, leaning into the chest of the person that held her. "Nat.."

It was Sam. Steve had left.

"Nat, it wasn't your fault. How could you have known something like that was going to happen? I can see what you were trying to do." The man murmured and Natasha drew herself closer, hanging onto each and every one of his words even though it wasn't Steve who was saying them.

"I've lost both of them." She looked out at the forested area the balcony watched over. Sam let out a sad sigh and then rubbed the woman's back.

"Steve.. it seems like he is lost to you, I know.. but he isn't. He just needs more time to heal. I'll talk to him. I'll keep talking to him until he can see clearly." He promised and Natasha let out a quiet sigh of relief.

"Okay."

Chapter Text

Tony couldn't handle the feeling that Grant's death was all his fault so he stayed up all night for months on end, only sleeping when Pepper would make him. He spent hours upon hours working on his notes and equations, theories and different tests just so that he could create the very serum that would have saved Grant. It was the way he coped and there was a need to see that through.

It was a cold night when Tony came running up the stairs, meeting Pepper who was in the kitchen. "Pep, god! You won't believe it!"

The woman yelped as he surprised her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He buried his face into her neck and kissed her skin lightly, beginning to sway. Pepper closed her eyes and hummed, leaning her head. "What is it, baby?" She whispered softly.

"I finished the serum.. I made it. It's done! I actually did it! I tested it again a simulated strand of Grant's DNA and it fucking worked.." He sounded so excited and Pepper felt horrible as she turned around.

"Tony.. Grant's dead.. it doesn't matter anymore.. you did what you could but this- this... isn't healthy for you because it's gonna get into your head..." She told him and Tony stepped back, looking away. "Honey.."

"I'm going to bed."

"Tony, you can't dwell on the past and blame yourself for what happened.. you- you have your own baby to worry about." Pepper said quietly, watching as Tony froze, hand on the banister. He slowly turned to her with a shocked look. "I.. I found out yesterday.."

"But.. I thought you didn't want.." Tony trailed off, a mix of emotions bubbling inside of him. He wanted to cry in utter joy and kiss her senseless but the guilt that had been with him all year sucked that out of the moment.

Pepper looked down at her hands. "I know.. and I was an asshole before we got married when I told you that.. that this was never going to happen. And then.. then I realized how much I was hurting you and how much I was missing out on.." She rambled, tears in her eyes but then Tony came back, kissing her forehead.

"Pep... I love you.. Hey, shhh.." Tony pulled her close. "I'm sorry I've been so detached and cooped up in my lab.. I promise that once I figure this all out, I'm gonna spend all the time in the world with you.." He promised. Pepper didn't know how to respond to that so she just nodded and leaned into, soon letting Tony lead her up to bed.

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"Just one trip."

"No, Stark."

"Just one, I promise. I won't ever ask for a favor again. One trip, please.." Tony begged, gripped his armored briefcase hard, eyes full of desperation. He had the serum in there and any back up solutions he would need. "Please, Strange. I need to do this. I need to right this."

The doctor sighed and leaned against the wall, looking around Tony's living room. He wanted to help Tony but at the same time, he didn't know if all the meddling with the past they had been doing would be good.

"I really don't think it's a good idea to use the stone again, Tony.. not after everything we've gone through." Stephen tried to soften his voice but Tony wpuldnt have any of it. He was near tears.

"I need to do this, you don't understand.. we've fixed the world but... for Natasha and Steve, their world is still broken and I have to fix that.."

After another hour of arguing, they were in the secured room Stephan had locked the time stone in. Tony gazed at it familiar glow and the sorcerer took a deep breath before putting it back on.

"One trip.. you have two hours and then I pull you back. Okay?" He told him and Tony nodded obediently, gripping his case harder. In a matter of seconds, he was walking through the dreaded hospital hallways that had become a part of his dreams.

He made his way down to the room and watched himself leave. He breathed in and then ducked into the room, startling Natasha.

"Tony! God, warn me next time before you run in here like something was chasing you!" She huffed and he grinned. He missed that hopeful look in her eyes, the sass and snappish way she talked.

"Hey to you too.." He moved to her side and gazed down at Grant, his heart speeding up. "How long has it been since you called Steve?" He asked and Natasha gave him a strange look.

"Shouldn't you know that?" When Tony shook his head, she frowned. "Three hours ago."

Tony's heart almost stopped and he nodded he slammed his case down quickly, opening it with shaking hands. He picked up the bottle of serum and Natasha stood up.

"Is that the serum?... I thought you needed Steve's blood." She quipped and Tony waved her off.

"I do.. I'm from the future. We made friends with a sorcerer who sent me back in time. So shut up because your son is about to die but I'm going to save him." Tony rambled and Natasha took a step back, looking frightened and confused.

Tony brought the tube over and hooked it up to an IV unit. He reached through the plastic wall, gripping then butterfly needle gently. He slid the needle into Grant's arm and took some tape that was safe for his skin, taping the needle down so that it would stay. He muttered something under his breath- maybe a prayer- and then stepped back, watching. He stood there for a good half hour before Steve burst into the room.

And Grant was still alive.

The child opened his soft blue eyes and Steve grinned widely through tears, moving forward. "Is he..?"

Natasha was crying hard as she hugged him and Steve pulled her close. "He's gonna be fine.. He stabilized a few minutes before you landed.." She whispered and Steve kissed her head. Tony left before his past self came back, hugging Stephan tightly right after he made it back.

"I did it. I actually did it." He laughed and Stephan nodded.

"Yeah, I know." He couldn't help but let his own grin come to his face. "Because Pepper's been trying to call you. Apparently you're going to be late for Steve and Natasha's wedding if you don't hurry up."

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Natasha sat in the bridal room, feeding Grant as Pepper helped do her hair. The red head smiled down at the sleepy one year-old, running her thumb over his blonde curls.

"Can you hold him throughout the ceremony? I want him to be up there with us even if he's about to fall asleep.." The woman laughed and Pepper looked at Natasha through the mirror, giving a big smile.

"I can do that. Besides, I have to practice keeping a baby asleep, right?" She laughed and that only made Natasha smile more.

"Yes you do, you're gonna have a mini Tony running around soon. I feel bad for you." She teased and gently rocked her son. "Grant's such an easy baby though.. I don't think you're gonna have such an easy time with yours."

Pepper groaned and leaned against her back, moving her hand down to caress Grant's face. "I know.. our kid is gonna be as crazy as their dad but, you gotta love him for that." She hummed and then ran her thumb down the baby's nose as he drifted off. "It looks like he's almost asleep. Want me to take him now so you can finish getting dressed?"

Natasha pouted before reluctantly handed over her son, as she pinned her veil into her hair and slipped on her heels. She gave herself one last look over in the mirror, feeling butterflies in her stomach before turning to Pepper. She leaned in and kissed Grant's forehead, the last thing she did before leaving to meet Clint at the end of the aisle.

Clint pulled her to his chest and kissed her cheek. "I love you, princess..." He murmured before kissing her forehead. He let her go slowly and then let her loop her arm around his as they face the altar. Steve's face was as happy as can be as he locked gazes with his soon to be wife and Natasha rocked on her feet in excitement as the whole gathering waited with bated breath for the music to start.