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The Sun itself couldn't beat the eager Cowboy when it came to rising each coming Morning, never missed target practice a day in his life, and he wasn't going to stop now. He often woke his allies with all the ruckus, but they all thanked him soon enough before the night fell, for his lethal precision was usually their saving grace. Jesse didn't take kindly to losing just as much as he did missing. He trained hard since the day he joined Blackwatch to keep a steady aim and mental state. Four bottles were hurled upwards, a brief moment elapsed and he whipped out his faithful Peacekeeper and they shortly were reduced to shattered glass before they scattered across the floor. "Like shootin' fish in a barrel." he laughed calmly, basking in glory of the execution. His accuracy was as flawless as his hearing, without confirming who the nearing figure was by peering behind him, he acknowledge them. "Good Mornin' to ya." he chimed. The response wasn't as thrilled "It would be if I knew you'd be responsible enough to clean up after yourself." He chuckled gleefully, finally pivoting and meeting eyes with his nagging friend, "You say it like there was a mess." Kicking the fractured pieces behind him and standing on the rest. "But I don't see a thing, do you?" Symmetra giggled regrettably, she wanted to give him a piece of her mind but couldn't keep a straight face. "How unsightly." Her tone mellowed as she continued. "But typical of you." As if in the presence of royalty, he took a knee and bowed, removing his hat. "Much obliged!" They exchanged laughter until Symmetra reverted to her base expression. "You're not much of a Mornin' Bird, what're you doin' up at the crack of dawn?" The severity of the situation was revealed. "Winston reported hostiles trying to conquer Deadlock Gorge, and they mean no good. The payload must be moved.", "Figures, the minute you said 'hostiles' I came to the conclusion they weren't comin' to make amends." he snickered jokingly. "Alright, alright, I'm guessin' my help is required. Just gimmie a sec, darlin'." He made his way towards the restrooms to relieve himself, shootin' worked up a lot of nerve and concentration, causing him to put his basic needs to the back of his priorities sometimes. "McCree? You're needed NOW. Can't you wait to do whatever it is you were about to do?" He said Yes, but his body couldn't disagree more. But there was no debating the issue, the Transport ship was already being boarded and time was of the essence. He was already geared up for success, so he rushed aboard. "Did someone call for an undertaker?" He questioned in a chipper manner, causing some to giggle and others to look towards the heavens.
It wasn't long before Jesse got bored. He was known for trying to liven up his allies even in the most darkest times. And they wouldn't have it any other way, even if they didn't exactly tell him that to his face. He was an asset, he was family. "And so, I tell the sucker we didn't have to take things out of hand. And he says to me that he's got nothin' to lose, so I ask him: 'Doesn't your life count?' And he starts laughin' up a storm, callin' me foolish and had my head in the clouds. If you ask me I was already as down to earth as a fella could get. Of course we were only the prime age of six and the guns weren't real, but what happened next was a real doozy! I chased hi-" "McCree.. Not now. This is serious." "So was I! He had it comin', stealin' my toy horse and all! That's punishable by watergun if I ever had a say in it! Besi-" "McCree." "Someone had to break the ice." The cold glare Winston shot at him was enough to make him close his mouth, the silence reminded him of his overpowering need to urinate, he squirmed in his seat and bounced his leg erractically. Tracer smiled and whispered "Poor Winston's been under a lot of stress lately, so don't take it personally, Love...... I thought your story was really interesting!" "Why,Thank you kindly." The ride ended as Route 66 was in sight, sending flashbacks of his train robbery plotting, still didn't feel too good coming back, he began to fan himself with his hat. "Woooo-oo Doggie!!!" There was an Outhouse nearby, all he had to do was get there, shouldn't be too hard.
The second the doors receded they were under heavy fire. Winston deployed a protective barrier and they pressed on, casualties soon plaguing both sides. With every shot, McCree honed his skills, he always judged himself unnecessarily, though his foes were falling by his speedy hand the kill was never good enough, seemingly an inch or two off from his desired goal. He was treating the whole situation like it was still target practice. His trigger finger itched something fierce, barely left any for the others to pick off. The spry man climbed atop the payload and kicked back to enjoy the weather, lowering his hat and crossing his legs. "Payload's movin' out. Form up here." Soldier 76 rushed alongside him on edge. "You know, if I had to make a hunch, I'd think you aren't taking this too seriously." The man slouched as he saw fit. "Now what in tarnation gave you such a thought?" He grinned spinning his Peacekeeper with brilliant coordination. Morrison detected enemy movement and fired, but McCree finished him off still in his lounging position. "You gotta work on that aim.", "You tryin' to impress me?", "I dunno, it's kinda hard to tell how yer feelin' majority of the time so I'm at sea.", "Well, you're not, just so we're clear. Now try to look like you mean business." The Soldier lead the charge, scouting ahead with the senses of a blood hound. "There's always someone that has to ruin a Hog-killin' time." Mako shambled closer, intimidatingly, keeping the Payload moving efficiently. "Got something to say?" evidently offended. Junkrat at his defense in a few ticks. "Calm down. It was just an expression. Heh. Bacon and a Bad Egg. The pair of you make some mighty fine breakfast!" Roadhog's shadow blotted out the sun as he towered over Jesse. "Say bacon ONE more time." Jesse jokingly threw his hands up in surrender. Junkrat convinced Roadhog to let it go and they ran off to cause havoc.
After the first checkpoint was met, things got hellish. Or, well, enough of a disturbance that Jesse knew he couldn't just sit out in the open, and since the Payload was virtually a bright lantern attracting bugs, it wasn't the best place to remain. But, he as jolted up from a somewhat sprawled to an upright pose, he couldn't move. Fuck. He'd waited for so long that sitting masked how vital it became.
Blushing, his face matched that of a tomato's hue. Clenching his crotch and trying to keep a steady hand was a daunting task to say the very least. As he writhed about, he almost didn't hear:
"JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!"
Now forced to think fast, he rolled out of the way, but the jerking fluctuation his bladder endured caused an aching misery that did a number on him, a number one. Aw, Hell. Now on all fours and the verge of bursting, struggling to get up, he slowly felt his trousers spring a leak. Slamming his fist down twice, livid with himself for being so... So unprofessional. Yes, that's the word he used to sugarcoat how he really felt. "I-it ain't my time.." With every ounce of his willpower he seized control of his body, and the patch no longer grew in size. But damn did it leave a mark. Panting aggressively, he rose up, though it took a few tries, and wrapped his poncho around his waist. Jack passed by again to contest for the Payload, as he saw the Cowboy wrinkle his nose and grind his teeth.
"Don't tell me you've given up the fight already." Little did he know, Jesse was fighting two battles at once.
"Fine, since I haven't, I won't tell you."
"You are just the ray of sunshine today aren't you? Those comebacks come at a discount?"
"Only if you have a coupon. Heh, heh. Truth be told, comedy gold can't just be bought off the shelves. It's earned."
"Being cocky and being funny are two different things."
"I'm gettin' this vibe that you don't know what a good time is. You ever smile before?"
"That's classified information."
Morrison gestured for McCree to follow. "Come on, I could use some cover fire.", "Set em' up, I'll knock em' down." They bolted into the heart of the fight. Though Jamison was the only one with a peg leg, McCree limped, he could feel the liquid slosh inside, it yearned to leave it's containment. Jack caught wind that Jesse wasn't functioning normally, not only had they been fighting for at least seven minutes straight and with no lip from Jesse, which was a red flag in itself, it had to be a new record. However he also took note that McCree failed to walk in a straight line. Was he injured?
A Biotic Field was deployed. "Get over here and heal up.", "I-I ain't hurt.", well, something was surely awry. "What's your deal? ", "N-nothin'.." Jesse's feet shifted and slided in unpredictable patterns, not to mention he was shuddering. "J..Just hold your horses. I need to flank em'." He set off when Jack ran after him. "I'm tagging along." He'd sooner stand in front of enemy spawn and let them tear him to shreds than let Jack follow him to the loo.
"No yer not. Flank em' from the other side, move the payload, I don't really care! Just don't bother me, ya hear? "
"Bother? "
"You deaf? "
"No, but I'm confused, at first you didn't have a care in the world, and now you want to be a lone ranger? "
"You told me to get my act together, an' that's what I did. Ya can't have it both ways."
".... You're not acting like yourself."
"You done? "
Without awaiting a reply, Jesse sprinted through The Cave Inn making a mad dash to the Outhouse, Jack was puzzled. As he parted ways to appease Jesse, he almost lost his balance. His shoe skimmed over some terrain, analyzing the substance, he couldn't fathom how the dirt where Jesse once stood became so muddy.
On McCree's end, he was faced with the obstacles in his way. His enemies quite literally resembled a roadblock, as they were positioned perfectly in front of the outhouse. You call THAT a fair fight? He couldn't attack from any angle they wouldn't spot him a mile away from. To make matters worse, he couldn't focus among other things. Twinge after twinge, his fate appeared sealed. "No stoppin' me... Ngh! Not now!" If he was paying attention, even in the slightest, he would've known sooner that he worked up a sweat and a 100% Ultimate Status. By now his legs were twitching, each step was pure torture, but he hadn't leaked and he wasn't going to. There was only one sensible thing he could set his mind on, and that was obtaining the high ground, so, weaving through a mass assortment of enemy fire, he scaled a flight of stairs conjoined to The High Side establishment when he lost his footing, getting his spur caught around the other shoe, landing halfway up to the second tier of the building. One of the steps dug into his gut as a result, leaving his bladder spasming whilst warmth involuntarily spread across his boxers, he wanted to cry, but he couldn't. And that same willpower to hold back tears is what he used to mount the saddle again. Dragging to his feet, he swallowed. His throat was dry and he was afraid he wasn't going to make it.
It was ironic, his teammates had a different objective than he had on his agenda. They helped push the threats back, but it wasn't enough. He was practically staring down at the Outhouse now, and he never felt so far away from it all at the same time. He was nervous, but tried to keep himself together, how could one minor need could cause such disorientation?
"Reach for the sky."
He performed his Ultimate. "It's HiiiIiigh Noon!" His voice was raspy and anguished.
His hand shook as he held his breath. Many of them took cover in the amount of time it took him to fix his aim. Out of exasperation he pulled the trigger.
It was reflected.
And it shot back at him with a flaming wrath, the bullet embedded itself in the wall..... Just millimeters below his crotch, a sizzling hole left on his poncho. All within a fraction of a second, his advantage was gone.
Paralyzed, petrified. His arm remained drawn and stance wasn't given time to alter. His eyes widened. It was all for nothing. He never botched a Ultimate attack so royally, disbelief feasted on his judgement, it was insulting. Almost killed by his own bullet. His breathing hitched, zoning out, he couldn't determine if he gave up intentionally or if it was out of fright, but he was wetting himself. Slowly at first, the droplets pattered on the wooden floor board, but upon conscious recognition it jetted with full force, flooding his pants with no further resistance, though he would've instinctually thrown both hands between his legs, he simply didn't have the vibrancy to. Urine sprayed down his legs at a fast rate, it collected under him quickly, some trickling off his level and onto the sand below. For a time he didn't speak, no witty comment could save him from his indignity. Motionless, his mind was blank. Finally, stifled mewling ensued. Tears threatened to overflow. "D-Dammit..! " Something inside himself snapped. Dropping his weapon, he fled inside the conveniently close doorway and disappeared.
And it's a good thing he did so, no one noticed the scene. But someone did notice he was gone.
"Tracer! Have you seen McCree anywhere? "
"No, I haven't! Weren't you with him? "
"I was, but he got angry with me, pretty much wanted me to piss off."
"That doesn't sound like him at all."
"You're tellin' me... You don't think he's back at spawn do you? "
"If he was he would've turned up behind us by now."
"You're right." A bridled sigh came from Morrison. "Listen, we've got this under control, can you go see if you can find him? "
"You got it. Be right back!! "
"No. We're good to go, just stay with him, wherever he is."
After some searching she found Jesse's Peacekeeper lying idle, he couldn't be too far, and with the trail of urine it wouldn't be too grueling to pin point his location. She too, entered the doorway. At first glance there didn't appear to be anyone inside. But the puddles directed her back downstairs where she saw a broken Jesse McCree bawling under a table. "STUPID! STUPID! " She knelt down and crawled to his aid silently, it didn't take her long to put two and two together after seeing his wet clothes. His whole mindset was so adrift he didn't even notice her until his name was called. He cocked his head up and hyperventilated, eyes bloodshot from the excessive tears.
"It's okay! It's just me! " Tracer kept a small grin, unsure whether to frown or not.
"That's the problem! Go help the others, would ya? "
"I'm not going anywhere, Jack told me to check up on you."
"Oh, if that don't beat all." He pointed out in a snide voice. "So he saw it everything unfold." His eyes watered as he wondered what 76 thought of him.
"No.. No one saw a thing."
"I didn't take you for bein' a liar."
"It's the truth. Look, I know you're upset, but you can bounce back from this just like you do on every other account."
"THIS kind of thing doesn't happen to folk like me. It's... It takes a man's worth away." He sniveled between each word. "I.. Couldn't even stop it, it hurt so badly. I.. And I.. Still have to go. Isn't that the damndest thing? "
"In that case, let me help you, Love." her tender touch sent mixed signals, and he mistook her kindness for forced pity.
"I don't need you to help me walk! " He tried to pull away but she wouldn't let go.
"Tracer, get your hands offa me! "
"I'm here to help! "
"Don't do me any favors, missy!!! "
They struggled briefly before McCree shouted in a bizarrely unsettling tone. She let go and he stumbled backward, he bit his lip to keep from moaning. Tracer watched helplessly as the second wave hit him, one would think the first release should've lessened the force and quantity, but it was just as immense as the one prior. Then he knew exactly why. Those four bottles were consumed by him before he used them for his Morning training session, he didn't have anything to use at the time since the reassembling robots were scrapped from an earlier overkill and were in repair. And that was his uncanny mistake that made a full three sixty to bite him in the arse. This time, he shut his eyes in a futile attempt to pretend it wasn't happening, much less in front of a friend. It made a spewing sound comparable to a inflatable kitty pool with a hole pricked into it. He covered his mouth as it ran out monstrously, as if to mock him by adding more insult to injury. breathing heavily through his nostrils until snot oozed from them. All the time, he didn't notice Lena holding onto him passionately through the entire thing because he felt so alone. As the rushing fluids came to a stop he found himself resting his head on her shoulder.
"Look what ya m-made me do.." He bellowed as his bitter tears fell onto her arm. Lena took no offense to and ignored the ferocity in his pitch, as she knew he was only embarrassed. "I'm so sorry.. I was only trying to make things right. But I failed you and caused more troubles." heartache coated her words and Jesse felt horrible. "You did what a real friend would be expected to do, nothin' less. It was my fault. I'm.. Just a mess if I ever saw one." He cried softly when his cheek was met with delicate lips. "Hey, none of that." He was awestruck, she didn't think any less of him. But WHY? "Why're.. You bein' so darn nice to me? " He said as more tears welled up. "You haven't given me reason not to, cherub." Shit, she was making him feel cared for in a way he didn't know how to respond to. He only blushed. After some silence and snuggles she broke the hug and stood up, making her way to the door. "W-wait, you don't have to leave, do ya? " He asked without trying to seem too needy She giggled in her usual upbeat fashion. "Don't fret about them. The others have this in the bag. I'm not leaving for long, chin up! I'll be back before you know it." And true to her word she zipped back into the room shortly with a new pair of trousers. "Good thing Winston thought ahead about keeping spare clothes for everyone! " Again kneeling at his side she Eskimo kissed him with the brightest of smiles. "Let's get you out of those old things and into something clean, shall we? " McCree gradually felt like himself again. "Only if you promise not to peek." he laughed, "It's a deal! "
As she handed him the replacements, she added: "You know, between us, I've been in your shoes before, believe it or not.", "No foolin'? " He asked baffled. "Get yourself changed and I'll tell you all about it............... If.", "If what? ", "If you promise to finish your story about your childhood showdown. I want to know if you got even with that little brat! ", "You bet I did!...." He solemnly pondered in a dramatic gesture to spark a reaction out of the other "You drive a hard bargain, but it's a deal! "
Their laughter made all else seem irrelevant.