Archive of Our Own ^beta

There is no doubt that Richard cares for each one of his teammates. A future without Donna or Wally's steady presence is inconceivable, but he's aware it's not about them. It is a lot worse than that. The truth is, he will learn to smile again, despite any pain, only if he has her heart beating in sync with his. He can very well live through anything, as long as he has those beautiful green eyes looking at him.

He has become this weak, this dependent.

“No.”

Victor shifts his weight from one foot to the other. It's an unconscious movement that surfaces only when his human side overcomes the machine one. Richard knows very few situations can do that to him.

“This is hard for all…”

"Where is she?"

Bruce is there too, lurking in the dark with watchful eyes behind his mask. He tried to give them privacy, but Victor insisted he stayed. If he thought that his presence would make things easier, he's mistaken. It doesn't, not even one bit. Then again, Richard isn't completely sure about what is truly happening. After all, it can't be real. She is the most amazing, strong, and loving creature this godforsaken world has. Nothing could happen to her.

How could she ever be taken from his side?

“Listen, man, I don’t think it's a good idea that you see her right now.”

“Take me to her, Victor," he warns. "I don’t understand what kind of sick game this is, but--.”

“Dick, she’s gone.”

The statement is like a blow, but he recovers fast. It can't be true. “Stop fucking around and take me to her."

He has to curl his hands into fists by his sides to avoid a physical reaction against his friend. He knows better than that, even if he's seconds away from a panic attack. His mind and body might be in a disconnected state, but Bruce trained him for similar situations, so he stays put.

“Where is she?” Bruce intercedes, the muffled tone with the rough edge he uses for Batman.

Richard knows that his true voice is something kept only for Selina and the intimacy of their room. As his son, desperate for his approval and his attention, it took him some time to understand why. He does now.

He too keeps many things meant only for Kori and their shared nights.

When Victor doesn't answer, Bruce repeats himself. There's no doubt that he will not say it a third time. “Where’s the body, Cyborg.”

Richard feels like throwing up. He isn't ready to talk about a lifeless body. He isn't ready to lose her― not now, not ever.

Victor hesitates only once. Then, he reopens the portal from where he came and beckons them to follow. Richard is the last one, scared and desperate, all at once.

It takes a part of his soul and his sanity to realize she is not sleeping. The hard part comes right after when he has to learn how to breathe as he holds her cold hand against his lips. The howls and cries that escape his ragged throat are fueled by the sheer anger and hatred he feels towards everything and everyone. Even those who are not responsible. Right then, he blames them all the same for not protecting her.

God, he doesn't know how to live without the color and warmth she brought to his life. Richard remembers quite well what awaits for him in the darkness, and he's not sure he'll be able to survive it again.

Raven tries to touch his shoulder, to support him in some way. He thinks she even tries to calm his emotions with her powers, but he doesn't want that. The pain will keep him alive for now. And the anger too―against the pity in their encouraging words, and the carefulness in their actions. Like he might crumble to pieces at any given moment. He pushes her hand away, not caring if he isn't the only one mourning her loss. He needs her alive and the rest of the world can fuck itself.

Richard rests his forehead against hers, his mask long forgotten at his feet. He whispers over and over, babe, please, stay with me. Babe, wake up, please. The tremors on his body have a life of their own. So does the desperation that pours out of his chest with each broken plea. He can't control anything anymore, not when her smile is not there to ground him.

That notion is enough to make him fall to his knees, crushed by the agony and defeat he feels. Donna is by his side in an instant, embracing him from the back. They both hold on to Kori's hand with desperation, not yet willing to let her go. Garfield stands a few steps away with Roy, sobbing hard against his right arm while Victor stares at her.

They're surrounded by the darkness of the universe within the spaceship of the Justice League. He thinks of all those times she asked him to come with her and Cyborg, to sneak out and stare together at the stars. He never had the heart to tell her he wasn't so keen on the idea of space traveling. He had been a fool, of course. The regrets are endless.

Members of the Justice League wait for Batman in the adjacent room. Sure enough, they will discuss this new threat that took Starfire’s life. Yet, for some reason, he's still there. Richard finds it hard to believe that it has something to do with his parenting obligations.

That thought brings an idea to his mind.

“We have to take her to the Lazarus pit,” he murmurs, realization striking him. He stands, carefully folding her hand into Donna's. “We have to take her to the Lazarus pit.” He says it again, this time looking directly at Bruce.

“Nightwing--."

“It brought back Red Hood. It brought back Robin. Cyborg can take us there without delay.”

“We don’t know if it works on aliens.”

“We have to try then,” he grits through his teeth. “I know you didn’t like her, I know what you thought about our relationship," slowly, he starts to raise his voice. “-- But if you fucking care a little bit about me, then you will help me bring her back.”

It is this outburst what makes Diana enter the room. Her concerned eyes fall over Donna's trembling form, then over Richard's uncovered face. Superman is behind her, as well as the others. He doesn't have the mind to search for his mask.

"We don't know how it will work on her. What will be brought back. It could be a risk."

“Batman,” Victor speaks, his voice barely above a whisper. “Please, we have to try. I know we all want to try.”

Bruce's only reaction is an extinguished grunt. After a brief pause, he says: “we don’t have much time. We need to track Talia, find one of the few left.”

"Cyborg," Richard turns to him, "contact Robin."

Damian is on patrol, so it takes him a few minutes to answer. The face of his brother comes into view for the whole room as a blue-ish hologram. He opens his mouth, ready to throw a sarcastic remark when Richard's face greets him.

He's not sure what his expression looks like, but it must not be good if that shuts his brother up.

“Robin, I need you to do something for me,” his voice is pleading. He sees Damian's eyebrows furrow even further. “I need you to contact Talia. Ask her the coordinates for one Lazarus pit.”

Damian's lips form a thin line. “She will want something in return.”

“Tell her we will negotiate after she helps us. We don’t have much time left,” Bruce answers.

They know the implications on his voice: it is him who will negotiate. Talia wouldn't want it any other way.

The line goes off without further explanations. Richard returns to Kori’s side and swoops one hand under her knees while the other wraps around her shoulders. She feels so cold. Richard rests his forehead against hers and tries to breathe the remains of her scent.

“Babe, I'm here. I will bring you back, so don’t leave me yet.”

“Dick.”

He is approaching Victor when Donna calls for him. His body stops out of custom. Diana's eyes set upon the quivering frame with concern. Those who know her, recognize something is not right just by the tone of her voice.

“Donna, don’t,” Raven warns.

He hadn't noticed she was so close until she speaks. Richard knows how much Kori means to her. To all of them.

“He has to know,” she refutes. This time, there's no doubt in her voice. "It doesn't matter the outcome. We don't know... She died taking an attack aimed for me, and I won't be able--I just. I need to tell him."

He turns around, having half a mind to listen.

"What's going on?" Garfield asks. “Tell him what?”

Damian's call comes in, only his voice present at the moment. He redirects the coordinates to Victor and soon enough, a portal opens in front of him.

“We have to go now," Victor sounds broken, similar to how he feels inside.

Richard turns, ready to follow without any further explanation. Donna is not.

“She is--," her eyes swell with unshed tears. “She was pregnant.”

And there it is. In the blink of an eye, everything can turn for the worse. He knows that's how life works, but it doesn't make it any easier.

Gods. He is holding Kori’s corpse and she is—was—pregnant with his baby.

“Hell…” Barry hits Hal, signaling to him to keep quiet.

If this doesn’t work, if he can’t bring her back...

They hadn’t seen each other for three months, and before that almost over a year. He had given up on her, his heart confused after Barbara's accident. They met in the middle of a mission, and she smiled at him, accepting him without a care for his fears and his bad temper. He fell hard again, worshiping every part of her body. Kori said she would wait for him forever.

But she hadn’t because now she was dead, and so was his child.

He isn't sure what makes him move until he sees Raven's hand on his forearm. A family with her. Kori's hand falls and Donna is quick to take it, keeping it between hers. A home where their kid could grow up. Cyborg leads them, but they can see the pit not so far from where the portal opened. A beautiful girl with her eyes, maybe a boy with his hair. Richard starts to walk faster, this time knowing it was his own body responding. The flying Graysons again.

“Dick,” Raven tugs his hand, her hood resting on her shoulders now. He can see her sad eyes as she says, “it was a girl.”

He holds his breath, willing himself not to cry. Without a pause or a second thought, he walks into the pit until the liquid reaches his waist. He kisses her on the lips and presses another one to her forehead.

“Stay with me, Kori, please. I can't lose you.”

He lets her sink.

Time stops. It feels like an eternity.

Kori gasps for air and so does Richard. He is there in a second, taking her frantic arms so she can hold onto his neck to regain her balance. She's glowing, her eyes big and filled with fear. He's selfish, so he can't think of anything else than tasting her lips once again. He kisses her again when her breathing improves, pressing her hard against his body. Her fingers seize the hairs on his nape, still trembling, but responding by instinct because her body knows him and that's all it matters.

“Kori!" Garfield squeals, sobbing all over again.

They can hear Donna do something similar, while Victor laughs. He smiles at her when she tries to seek the voices of her friends.

It is Raven and Donna who help him take her out of the pit. She is weak, so Victor picks her up, bracing himself around her body in a crushing embrace. Garfield and Roy soon follow. Raven stops him when he is about to protest.

"She's fine. I can feel it," she assures him.

Kori giggles when Donna joins them, too stunned to ask for answers, but always ready and happy to have her friends close.

“Come on,” Bruce calls. “She needs to rest and we don’t know what Talia could have in mind.”

"C'mere," he mutters, taking her in his arms once again. It's more out of his necessity to keep her close than hers. Dick marvels at the difference of how good it feels her embrace, and how nice her warm skin is against his.

She whispers some apology as her arms close around his neck. "I'm tired."

"I know, babe, but don't sleep yet."

It scares him to think she might not wake up.

"Do you remember what happened?" Raven asks.

Kori looks at her friend over his shoulder. "No, I'm sorry."

By the time they get back to their quarters, Garfield has filled her with every little detail. He listens to that for the first time too.

They don't stay in the Justice League spaceship. Raven insists on taking her back to the Teen Titan's tower, where she has some medic equipment. Kori agrees wholeheartedly , half asleep on his arms. Victor is quick to open another portal.

As soon as they accommodate her over the medic bed, Donna is there, holding her against her chest, like a mother to her child. That gives him the peace of mind he needs to call Damian.

“Thank you,” he says to his brother.

“You’ll be in debt with father. I don’t know what mother will ask in return, but nothing good will come from it.”

“I know. I’ll make sure to let him know that I’m thankful," he sighs. "He won’t tell me what her request is, but if you do find out--.”

“I know, I’ll give you a call.”

“Thank you.”

Damian crocks his head. Richard knows he's trying to look uninterested. “Don't thank me. She has proven to be a good ally and I was in debt with her too.”

Richard raises an eyebrow, though the action isn't so obvious behind the mask that found its place. Before he has the chance to ask him what he means, Damian ends the call.

He decides to investigate later. Right now, he needs to be close to her.

As soon as he enters the room, Kori's eyes open.

She extends a hand in his direction and he takes it, lifting her fingers against his lips. “Hey, babe. Miss me?”

She smiles. "Not that much. I'm quite comfortable."

Her eyes travel to Donna's relaxed features, now resting over her chest. Richard clears his throat. “Should I be worried that you seem pretty happy like this?”

Kori’s laugh makes his heart swell. He takes the seat that's next to the bed.

“Raven and Donna have kept me company all these months--.”

She stops mid-sentence with an expression of panic. A hand falls to her stomach and the movement wakes up the amazonian.

"What--Is she..."

Donna cannot tell her the answer she needs. She turns her head to him and Kori frowns.

“You know?”

“You were dead."

That's all he says. He is not that strong either.

"Call Raven. Maybe --."

"Kori, you were dead for several minutes. Without oxygen, there's no way she could've survived."

Her body visibly shivers.

Richard whispers brokenly as he reaches a hand to rest over hers. “I should have been there. I'm sorry."

She says nothing. Her body curves over and Donna embraces her without a second thought. It breaks his heart all over again.