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Language:
English
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Published:
2017-06-18
Words:
195
Chapters:
1/1
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64

Who We Are

Summary:

Sometimes the voices scream too loud and the thudding against the walls of my brain is too much. Sometimes ballet can't save me, sometimes life is just too much. Somehow Alexander saves me, yet he doesn't try. It's like his voice is the only thing I need to ground me.

Life becomes so tedious. You wake up, boyfriend is gone for work, you avoid your piano, you eat, you sleep, do it all over again. Opal makes my life an adventure. He says I've saved him, when really it could just be the opposite.

Work Text:

I hear them scream and I can no longer feel my heart beat. I clench at my sheets and try to focus on the sweat that rolls across my forehead. There are loud voices. I cannot determine what is being said. There is a rumbling in my head, in my hands and the voices rage on. I try to yell for help, but I choke on the words and sputter out silence. I can feel myself shake and tears slip out from under my eye sockets. I question if I have eyes in them because I cannot see anything.

People ask me why I smile so much. Doctors often question if it is a cover up for all of the psychosis and sadness, but the answer is always no. I smile because I have the ability. I smile because in the moments above my lips are trembling too much and my mind is filled with anxiety. But when I see the people I love, when I have the strength to laugh and smile, I do. I know that a time will come when I can’t. Why not take advantage of the time that I have?