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It's funny how Jongin remembers everything perfectly, as he stands there at the altar. How they met, how they fell in love, and all the things in between - he looks Luhan in the eyes and it all comes rushing back.
One minute he's dancing alone in the practice room, and the next, there's someone else in the room, watching him. Someone with soft, bright doe-eyes and honey blonde hair, standing shyly beside the door. He looks like he's trying not to stare, but something keeps pulling his gaze back to the dark-haired dancer. Slender fingers tug nervously at the sleeves of his too-small Manchester U jersey, clinging to his petite form.
Jongin pivots to face the newcomer, panting slightly. He's suddenly conscious of the sweat dripping down his face soaking his shirt. He must look disgusting. Jongin looks around for a towel and finds none.
"Um," he says. "Hi."
"Hello," says the stranger, smiling a little, showing a hint of adorably crooked bottom teeth. He has the slightest accent, something lilting and lingering just a little, soft and satin like his voice. "I'm Luhan."
Luhan.
"I'm the new transfer student," he continues, sounding a bit more confident now. "I'm here to join the dance team?"
"I'm the team captain," Jongin says, letting pride color his voice a little. "You came to the right place. But you have to audition first. I'm sorry. I can't just let you on the team."
Though there's a little part of him that wants to, just for Luhan's pretty face and slender waist and threadbare soccer jersey that doesn't quite reach the waistband of his matching soccer shorts.
Luhan's face falls and Jongin's heart falls a little with it. His pink lips push out into the most adorable pout Jongin's ever seen. A sudden desire to kiss those pink lips flares in Jongin's chest. He ignores it.
"Not even if I do aegyo?"
The captain raises an eyebrow. "This is a dance team..."
"I know," Luhan says, smiling again. "Just watch. I'm really cute."
Yes, yes you are.
He makes a fist and brings it to his face, doing the customary bbuing bbuing, even puffing out his cheeks for a little extra cuteness.
Not that it was needed. Jongin's heart is stuttering in his chest, breath catching in his throat.
Luhan is searching his face excitedly for a reaction. Oh god, Kim Jongin, are you blushing? Be a man.
The dance team captain straightens up a little and wipes his sweaty palms on his gray sweatpants.
"How did I do?" Luhan asks, eyes bright enough to light the entire city of Seoul.
Jongin tries not to grin too broadly or look too excited. "Okay. That was...pretty good. You can be on the team for now. But you better be a good dancer." They're going to kill him for letting someone on the team for doing aegyo, but right now he doesn't care.
"I am!" Luhan rushes forward to embrace Jongin, faster than he can even think about how gross and sweaty he is right now.
But Luhan is soft and warm against him and Jongin thinks, hey, this could be something.
~
It grows into something, slowly but surely.
It's in the practice room, mixed into the air they breathe as they dance away the late hours of the night. Luhan's just a good a dancer as he promised. But Jongin pretends that's not so, just for the chance to hold the honey-blonde close and "fix" his posture.
It's in the shivers that go down Jongin's spine when he listens to Luhan sing for the first time, the first time they're alone together outside of school. Here in the early morning, just as the sun is peeking sleepily over the horizon, Luhan sings him a love song in English. He can't understand the lyrics, except for a few words like two and better and one.
It's in the perfume of the flowers of the outskirts of the soccer field, where Luhan likes to lie with him after his games. This is the first time Luhan twines their fingers together, like it's nothing, but it gets Jongin's heart racing so fast it might burst.
It's in their first kiss, hot and heavy in the dark practice room, when Jongin finally gets the courage to press his mouth to those pink lips. His hands find Luhan's waist, and the honey-blonde leans back against the wall. Luhan's mouth on his, the honey-sweet taste of his mouth, the soft skin of his belly against Jongin's hands when they slip beneath Luhan's shirt, they leave him breathless.
He leans in again for another kiss, meeting Luhan halfway.
It's in everything about Luhan: his little eyerolls when Jongin insists eyeliner contradicts his manliness oath just a teeny tiny bit, really hyung, I'm serious, the countless expressions he has, his fondness for bubble tea (Jongin's going to go broke one day from treating his hyung, he knows it), his stupid laugh, the way he curls up to Jongin in the early morning hours, when he's sleeping over.
There's really no word for this something, Jongin thinks, as he kisses Luhan's forehead. Except maybe love.
~
It's love that keeps them together.
It's probably love that keeps Jongin from scolding his spoiled boyfriend after he eats Jongin's favorite cake and doesn't leave Jongin any. But Luhan makes up for it by "making" a new one (which is bullshit. Luhan can't cook, and there's a bakery right across from his house).
It's the thought that counts, Jongin decides, as he eats the cake. It turns out to be pretty good.
It's might be love, or it could be the sheer kindness of Kim Jongin's heart, when he showers Luhan with presents. He prides on knowing just what Luhan wants (and it doesn't hurt that Luhan's quiet obvious when he wants something. Brat.).
Not to say Luhan doesn't repay him in kind, it's just that sometimes his presents seem to be...more in his interests.
"Hey, Jonginnie," he'll say, "Look, I got you soccer ball."
"I don't play soccer," Jongin will remind him.
"Yes you do! You play with me all the time! C'mon, I got you a jersey to match mine. Let's go play."
Jongin doesn't like jerseys either, but at least Luhan got his favorite color right.
He's not too good at soccer, predictably losing in record time, but the smile on Luhan's face is worth it (and so is the make-out session after).
It's love that they make in the tangle of silky sheets on Luhan's bed. Love weighs heavily in Luhan's whispers for more, in his ragged breathing, in the way Jongin's name leaves his lips when he comes hard all over the sheets and Jongin follows soon after.
It's because he loves Luhan, Jongin insists, that he's always by Luhan's side.
"You're suffocating me, Jongin," Luhan says, twisting his wrist out of his boyfriend's grip. "I have to go."
It's some kind of love, Jongin guesses, that makes Luhan leave him for someone else.
Love, yes, but not for him - for Oh Sehun, their old high school dance teammate.
It must be love that breaks Jongin's heart in half when he watches the two of them together in the hallway of their university, hand in hand. What else could hurt so bad?
But it's definitely love, love for Jongin, that brings Luhan back, sprinting through the rain without an umbrella, soaked to the bone when he finally arrives at Jongin's apartment five blocks away.
"Jongin, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he sobs, face dripping with hot tears and cold rain. "I'm so stupid, Jonginnie, I-"
Jongin kisses him into silence. He murmurs his own apologies in between kisses, not caring that they're standing in the freezing rain. They'll probably have pneumonia tomorrow, but that's okay. Right now, Luhan is all that matters. Luhan still loves him.
"Jonginnie," Luhan gasps, breaking the kiss, "Kim Jongin, I can't live without you,"
"Then come inside," Jongin finds himself saying. "Stay with me."
~
Living together is...new, to say the least.
Like renting movies to watch all night long, or at least until Jongin falls asleep with his head in Luhan's lap. He's always watched movies on his own, and it's a nice change, to not be the only one screaming every five seconds during a horror movie.
("I'll protect you, Jonginnie," Luhan says seriously. "Don't worry. Hyung is here."
Predictably, Luhan only half-watches the movie through the gaps between his fingers and he screams even more than Jongin, but hey, he's trying.)
It's different, a good kind of different, when Luhan decides to forgo clothing in favor of walking around in his underwear.
Jongin appreciates this.
Sometimes, Jongin walks in to their shared bedroom to find Luhan trying on his clothes and admiring himself in the mirror. The first time, he bursts out laughing.
"Hyung," he chokes, "You look stupid."
Luhan shoots him a dirty look. "I look manly."
"Not when you're wearing eyeliner with a leather jacket."
Luhan throws the jacket at him and pouts until Jongin buys him one to match.
It's a little weird at first, getting used to sleeping in the same bed every night instead of every now and then. Luhan forgets that he has to share, so he ends up sprawled out, resulting in Jongin occasionally rolling off the bed. If he doesn't fall off the bed, then Luhan kicks him off for taking all the blankets.
(But Luhan always joins him on the floor in the end, so it's not so bad.)
Luhan brings Jongin to a TVXQ concert, because Jongin's never gone to one.
He's never used a fire extinguisher, either, but he learns pretty quickly after Luhan sets the kitchen of fire trying to cook ramen. It's a learning experience, Jongin tells himself, when they go shopping for a new stove.
(Now Jongin cooks and Luhan cleans.)
Showering together, now, that's something new. Luhan hates showering with other people, but he makes an exception when Jongin joins him to "save time, and water".
They kiss until the water runs cold and they're both late for work. Jongin's a shitty liar.
The best part is probably the way Luhan fills in all empty spaces. His singing fills the silence. Sticky notes in his messy scrawl line the fridge: stupid things that make Jongin laugh, and sweet ones that make him feel all tingly. His clothing takes up more room than Jongin's does, and his beloved TVXQ CDs line the shelves Jongin didn't even know he had. Actually, Luhan probably bought them. His things have become Jongin's things, popping up all over the place, like picture frames in the hallway and cushions on the couch. He's slipped into Jongin's life, filling all the spaces, without Jongin ever really noticing.
Happiness bubbles in his chest. It's a new experience, sharing his house, and his heart, with someone else. But it's nice. He reaches for his boyfriend's hand.
And Luhan's fingers fit perfectly between Jongin's.
~
Their sixth anniversary is a mix of new and old. They agree to spend it revisiting their hometown, and stopping at their old high school by request of Luhan.
The practice room is as familiar as Jongin's own house, after endless nights of dancing alone, with only his reflection and the steady beat of the music to keep him company.
Until he met Luhan.
Jongin smiles at the walls lined with mirrors, the old stereo in the corner, the peeling cloud-patterned wallpaper. Somewhere in the mirrors is the shadow of a freshman with dark hair and thick lips, dancing in the school team for the very first time. Jongin searches the mirrors for that freshman and thinks he sees him for a split second, grinning widely before fading away. He does a few dance steps, satisfied to know he's still pretty good. Jongin remembers the steps to every dance he's learned here, including the one he was practicing when Luhan walked through the practice room door and into his heart.
He turns around, only to see Luhan staring at the floor, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans. Actually, they're Jongin's jeans - just a little too big, hanging low on his hips. Jongin would appreciate this more if his boyfriend didn't look so worried.
Jongin frowns. "Luhannie...are you okay?"
The last time he looked like this, Luhan had been about to break up with him. He takes a step forward, icy fear flooding his veins, not sure what to say -
But then Luhan sinks to the floor, onto one knee, and slides a small black box out of his jeans pocket.
"Kim Jongin," he says, with a tremble in his soft satin voice, "Will you marry me?"
Will you marry me.
It's about time, Jongin thinks, they're practically married anyway. His heart is stuttering in his chest, his breath is caught in his throat.
Jongin grins, trying not to let the tears fall. His voice cracks. "Sorry, but I can't just let you marry me."
Luhan sighs in mock exasperation, but his eyes are shining with tears, too. "Not even if I do aegyo?"
Jongin blinks and for a moment, he catches a glimpse of the doe-eyed honey-blonde stranger in the practice room standing shyly by the door, tugging nervously at the sleeves of his too-small Manchester U jeresy.
It makes him smile, and he almost bursts out laughing watching Luhan make creepy faces while the pastor drones on about pledging to do all the things they've been doing anyway.
Luhan says his part, eyes sparkling, bright enough to light the entire city of Seoul.
The pastor asks if he, Kim Jongin, takes Lu Han to be his lawfully wedded husband.
"I do," Jongin says, and leans in to kiss Luhan, meeting him halfway.