Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In which we start towards the end, questions are raised, Ladybug talks to much, and Chloé has a tea party.

Ladybug didn’t like being the bad guy.  She didn’t like having to tell people no, or that they couldn’t do something, especially when it was her friends.  However, she was the unofficial team leader, although the other three Miraculous users already considered it pretty much official anyway.  That only made it harder when it became clear that subtle hints weren’t going to cut it and, for the good of the team, she was going to have to take a more direct approach. 

It wasn’t that she necessarily had anything against Queen Bee having an overtly romantic relationship with her best friend.  In fact, if circumstances were just slightly different, she would have loved to see them together.  Since Queen Bee had joined, all four of them had made it clear to the public that the superheroes of Paris were, and would always be in support same sex relationships and the LGBTA community.  She would like nothing more than to be happy for the first overtly gay superhero couple of France and give them the same approving smile Chat Noir gave the two of them every time they so much as held hands, (though she noticed those looks of approval were mostly directed at Queen Bee.)  She might even have been able to tolerate, nay, embrace their sickeningly sweet giggling whenever she caught them make bedroom eyes at each other, and might not even have wanted to tear her own pigtails out with her bare hands every time Volpina made another “pollination” innuendo to get Queen Bee to blush, if it weren’t for one small detail; 

The relationship was completely doomed from the start. 

Ladybug blamed herself.  She should have seen it coming, and really should have done something to stop it.  Alya had always had a thing for superheroes, and when Marinette had reveled who Ladybug really was, she had been…  heartbroken wasn’t the right word, more like… unpleasantly disillusioned.  Of course, any slight resentment she may have felt towards her best friend was quickly forgotten once Marinette explained why she chose to reveal herself, and asked Alya to join her as the new Volpina.  Looking back, it should have been obvious that Alya would be “in the rebound” after her old superhero crush was no longer an option.  But in her defense, Ladybug couldn’t possibly have foreseen that Queen Bee would make her grand entrance into the superhero scene by saving Volpina’s life.  Or that Queen Bee would be an even bigger flirt with the ladies than her “brother” Chat Noir was.  And it shouldn’t have been a problem when Volpina very passionately returned those attentions except for the fact that, as Marinette kept having to remind her, Alya was still dating Nino. 

At least, she was supposed to be dating Nino.  “Volpina” seemed to completely forget that her civilian self wasn’t single as soon as Queen Bee entered the room.  Or swooped in to whisk her to safety.  Or was so much as mentioned in passing conversation. 

Ladybug was beginning to regret choosing her best friend to be the next Volpina, though only ever so slightly.  Truth be told, in almost every other area of heroism, Alya had done far better than Marinette had initially.  She was brave, quick witted, caring, and even managed to keep up on the Ladyblog despite being personally involved in a fair number of the Akuma attacks she was reporting on.  True she still tended to leap before she looked at times, but she was getting better at thinking before acting, even if she did enjoy letting Queen Bee come to her rescue.  She worked well with the rest of the team too.  Though that really just meant she worked okay with Chat Noir.  The two were on friendly enough terms with each other from what Ladybug could tell.  They weren’t as close to each other as either of them were to Ladybug or Queen Bee, nor did they seem interested in becoming so.  They had paired up on their fair share of missions when the situation had called for it, just as Ladybug and Queen Bee had, and had worked together well.  But once the Akuma was dealt with, or whenever the group met up for patrol, Volpina made a “Bee” line right for her partner. 

Not that there was anything wrong with that.  They were a team, just like Ladybug and Chat Noir.  It certainly didn’t make Ladybug just the teensy tiniest bit jealous every time her best friend just left her to go slid up next to some aliased blond they’d only known for a few months.  She wasn’t jealous in the least.  It was just unprofessional.  Flirting like that with team members was a no-no, everyone knew that.  Especially when at least one of said team members still technically had a boyfriend.  Even if said team member had never actually gone on a real date with said boyfriend in the seven plus months they had been considered a couple.  And even if said team member had confessed shortly after meeting other said team mate that she had never really felt a connection with said boyfriend like she had with other said team mate, it still had to stop didn’t it?  And if said “said team mate” wasn’t going to listen, then she’d just have to talk to said “other said team mate.”

That was how Marinette had explained it to a confused looking Tikki earlier that day, and was why at little past ten o’clock she found herself standing nervously in front of an uncertain looking Queen Bee.  They were supposed to have met up at the Eiffel Tower that night to do their patrol, but Ladybug had called her shortly before they were supposed to meet up and told Queen Bee to meet her on a rooftop not far from the school instead so that they could talk privately.  Ladybug didn’t want to take the chance that either Chat Noir or Volpina might decide to suddenly join them.  Queen Bee had agreed and shown up only a few minutes later but apart from their initial greeting, neither of them had said anything yet.  Taking a deep breath, Ladybug decided it would be best to just get this over with. 

“Look,” she began, ironically unable to look at Queen Bee, “I need to talk to you about you and Volpina.” 

Queen Bee seemed to relax a little and actually did look at Ladybug.  “Good.  Because I need to talk to you about you and Chat Noir.”

“…Huh?” Ladybug asked, completely confused.    

“Chat Noir,” Queen Bee repeated.  “Cat ears, magic leather jump suit, big green eyes?  Been completely devoted to you for like, the last two years?” 

Ladybug blinked again.  “Umm, yeah?  What about him?”

Queen Bee suddenly rolled her eyes and stamped her foot in an eerily familiar way, demanding “When are you going to ask that poor boy out already?” 

“W-what?!”  Ladybug took a step back.  This was not how she had expected this conversation to go at all.

“Oh come on, even a blind person can see the way he practically worships the ground you swing over.”  Queen Bee huffed, crossing her arms in an expectant, and again hauntingly familiar way. 

“He’s almost as bad as I was,” she added quietly, then shook her head.  “Look, the point is that boy is the best thing that’s ever going to happen to you.  Trust me, I’ve known him nearly all my life and there isn’t a man in this city who would make as perfect a boyfriend as him.  He’s brave, kind, dashingly handsome, and trust me on that, when the lesbian says a boy looks good without the mask, he looks good without the mask,” Queen Bee added confidentially.   “Let’s see am I forgetting anything?  Oh yeah, he loves you so much he’s willing to die for you, and has, if that Timebreaker thing last year happened like he said.  So what are you waiting for?”

Queen Bee looked at her expectantly while Ladybug tried desperately to figure out what was happening, and how she had so immediately lost all control of this conversation.  Her lips floundered as her mind attempted to catch up.

“Well, I mean… We’re… partners?” 

Queen Bee rolled her eyes.  “So hurry up and become domestic partners too!”

Ladybug felt her face heat up and stammered, “I mean were professional partners!  We’re friends but… but that’s all!  There’s absolutely nothing else between us.”

The look Queen Bee gave her brought to mind a time when Marinette was 4 and had tried to deny to her mother that she had eaten a missing cupcake, while it’s remains were still smeared all over her face and hands.

“You feel absolutely nothing for him?”  Queen Bee asked dryly. 

“Not… romantically, no.”  Ladybug replied, crossing her arms and turning away slightly as a mysterious, but certainly not guilty, shiver ran up her spine.

“Hmmm, so I guess Vix and I’ll be getting chin scratches and told were a ‘good kitten’ next time we track down an Akuma or come up with half way decent plan, huh?”

“Th-that’s just… positive reinforcement!”  Ladybug was quite sure the rest of her face was the same color as her mask now.   Though really there was no reason for it.  She honestly didn’t have any feelings for Chat Noir.  Sure, he was a loveable goofball sometimes, and yes she may have had a nightmare or dozen after the Timebreaker incident, and yes, he was completely irreplaceable to her, but still…

Queen Bee sighed and her posture lost that infuriating (and still horribly familiar) air of smugness and superiority.  She walked over to the low wall of the roof and sat down, patting the spot next to her indicating for Ladybug to do the same.  Ladybug complied with the silent request, though hesitantly, as if she expected Queen Bee to sting her at any moment.   Instead, Queen bee gently took her hand as if to reassure Ladybug she meant no harm, and began to speak to her gently.

“You two have chemistry.  Whether you want to admit it or not, I can see how much you both mean to one another.  Look, I love that boy.  He’s some of the only family I have and we…  He’s been through a lot.  You’d never know it by the way he acts, both in and out of the mask but he…  he may seem goofy and care free as Chat Noir but if something ever happened to you it would kill him.  You’ve done so much for this city, and he’s done so much for you.  I was serious when I said there is nobody in Paris that can compare to him.  Forget that, there’s nobody in France, or the world for that matter who would be a better match for you!  You have to see that.  You both deserve each other, so what are you waiting for?”

“You…  You don’t even know who I really am.  I don’t really know who he is!”  Ladybug argued back.  She felt slightly uneasy that their identities were the first excuse that came to her mind so she quickly added, “Plus, I’m already in love with someone else.” 

Queen Bee’s eyes went wide.  “What!?  Who?”

“Um… well…”  Ladybug had to fight the urge to pull at her collar, Queen Bee was still holding her hand. 

“Like, Seriously!  Who?”  Queen Bee exclaimed.  “I just told you, nobody can compare with my boy for you.  So…  wait…”  Queen Bee suddenly looked very worried and let go of Ladybug’s hand.  “It’s…  It’s not Vixen is it?” 

Ladybug’s jaw dropped.  “W-what!?”

“Well I mean, you always look all angry whenever Vix gives me a kiss on the cheek or anything, and I just thought…”

“No!” 

Ladybug threw her arms across her face in a large “X” in an attempt to call for a time out to what was rapidly becoming one of the most mortifying nights of her life.  Queen Bee seemed to get the hint, and sat silently for a moment looking worried while Ladybug took a very slow, deep breath. 

“Okay, first of all, her name is Volpina.  Not Vix, or Vixen, or whatever other weird, cutesy nicknames you made up for her.  So… Stop calling her that.   At least while I’m around.  Second, I am not dating Volpina.  She’s my best friend, but that’s it!  We’re not like that.  At all.”  Queen Bee seemed to relax a bit at this, but Ladybug sensed an opening and deciding that it was high time she gained control of this conversation added, “We’re never going to be like that because she’s already dating someone.”   

Queen Bee blushed and smiled happily so Ladybug added flatly, “Who isn’t you.”

Queen Bee looked confused for about half a second before saying “Huh?  Oh yeah, the civilian thing!  Yeah, I already know about that,” Queen Bee said, her smile coming back.  “Vix told me she had been seeing someone before we met but it wasn’t really going anywhere so she was trying to find a good way to break it off with them.  She wouldn’t tell me any details about who it was though, so I thought… well I mean, I just figured if it was you then that would… well, I’m just glad it’s not,” Queen Bee finished happily.  Then her expression darkened again.  “So who do you think is better than Chat Noir?”

Ladybug gaped at her.  She blinked several times.  Even considered pinching herself to prove she wasn’t trapped in some horrible nightmare, but no.  This was actually happening.    Without even the grace of a transition or a five second breather, Queen Bee had turned the entire conversation on its head again.  Just gone right back to the topic she wanted like she hadn’t just been worried she might have been making moves on her (unofficial) leader’s girlfriend.  Just gone right back to her original conversation without batting an eye. 

Ladybug was quickly learning that Queen Bee was as ruthless and resourceful in the field of socializing as she was on the battle field.  Her mind flashed back to the expression Mr. Damocles had made in his final moments as an Akuma cowering before Queen Bee.  Suddenly the thought of trying to dissuade Queen Bee from Volpina seemed suicidal. 

That plan abandoned, she was still left with her current predicament.  Ladybug ground her teeth as she considered her options.  When she finally accepted that swan diving off the roof to land on her head came with no guarantee that Queen Bee wouldn’t continue asking her who she was in love with, (even as she was being loaded into the ambulance) Ladybug conceded to option two: Compromise.

“I can’t tell you who it is, that could jeopardize my identity, but to answer your question, it’s…  It’s not that its anything that Chat is lacking it’s just… Chat’s Chat and he’s him.  Their totally different people and I just… I fell in love with him first that’s all.  He’s so kind and thoughtful, and he’s like that to everyone!  Even people who probably don’t deserve it…”  She added, thinking of a particularly mean and blond example.  “And he’s so amazingly talented.  He speaks like five different languages, plus he’s a great athlete!  Not to mention he’s the most handsome guy in Paris.  Especially his smile, and those eyes and-“

“Wow,” Queen Bee said softy, as Ladybug looked off into the distance and continued to list all the attractive features of the unspecified “luckiest man in Paris.”  Though it broke her heart for poor Chat, it was obvious to Queen Bee that Ladybug was absolutely head over heels for this guy, whoever he may be.  She only hoped she didn’t act like this when she was talking about Vixen.  She couldn’t recall ever looking off into the void and just listing off all her partner’s best qualities, though she could easily spend an hour on Vixen’s eyes alone.  Not to mention those hips and curves… 

Queen Bee snapped herself back into reality and was about to try to do the same for Ladybug when something caught her attention.  She had seen enough public-address speeches to be able to tell when someone was looking vaguely out at an audience, and when they we’re reading off a teleprompter.  Ladybug may not have been going off of a script but her eyes definitely seemed to be moving like she really was looking all the details her lips were rattling off.  Queen Bee turned to look over her shoulder as Ladybug continued to about how cute “his” bangs were.  There was nobody there that she could see.  Just some rooftops, a weathervane, a couple of pigeons, a billboard for the new Agreste fall line that of course featured Adrien Agreste for the umpteenth time, and…

Her gaze lingered on the image of Adrien as Ladybug described “his” deep green eyes.  A hint of suspicion crept into her mind and then quickly grew to the size of a bull elephant as Ladybug continued to wistfully sigh and prattle on behind her.  Queen Bee turned her head back to look at Ladybug, who continued to keep her gaze fixed dreamily on one place.  Queen Bee followed her gaze and sure enough it to landed right where she thought it did.

“…Oh, you have got to be kidding me.”

Queen Bee’s voice finally shook Ladybug out of her gushing and back to reality.  She quickly realized that Queen Bee was now looking back at the same billboard she herself had been staring at, and had an uncomfortable feeling that the other girl had just put one and two together and gotten three.  Her suspicions were confirmed when Queen Bee said,

“You’re in love with Adrien Agreste.”

It wasn’t a question, or an accusation.  Queen Bee sounded dazed and almost disconnected, as if she couldn’t quite wrap her head around the meaning of the words, despite them coming from her own mouth.

“It’s not what you think.”  Ladybug blurted out.

“Oh, I’m pretty sure you don’t know what I’m thinking right now.”  Queen Bee said, looking from Ladybug to the billboard of Adrien.  “Because I’m not sure I know what I’m thinking right now…” 

Ladybug closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.   “Look I…  Yes.  Okay?  Yes, I am hopelessly in love with Adrien Agreste!  I have been for nearly two years now.  But it’s not some celebrity crush or anything like that!  I know him, he’s kind and chivalrous and smart and…  I just…  Look just stop looking at me like that!”

Around Ladybug’s second sentence or so Queen Bee’s jaw had nearly dislocated is shock.  She snapped it shut after Ladybug rounded on her, though she continued to stare.  Ladybug glared back and crossed her arms in a huff. 

The two sat there in silence for a good five minutes until Queen Bee suddenly stood up.

“I…”  She began, then shaking her head she said, “You…  Don’t ever change.”  And then flew off before Ladybug could say anything. 

Left alone on the roof top, Ladybug briefly considered doing the patrol by herself for the night before deciding it might be best to just head home.  Better to get some sleep and try to shake off whatever that mess of a conversation had been.  Making a quick swing over to her house, Ladybug opened the trap door and stepped inside, wondering who she was going to get more of an earful about this from, Tikki when she changed back into Ladybug, or Alya when Queen Bee inevitably told her about tonight.

Queen Bee landed back on her balcony and dropped her transformation before she had even stepped into the penthouse proper.  Chloé’s mind was still racing, and she began talking almost before Pollen had finished popping back into existence.   

“Ladybug is in love with Adrien!”

“Yes.  Yes, she is.”  Pollen replied patiently, pointedly landing next to the thermos holding their tea. 

“But Adrien is in love with Ladybug!”  Chloé continued, beginning to pace up and down the living room. 

“Quite so.”  Pollen agreed, tapping on the thermos. 

Chloé failed to notice and instead continued to pace about, waving her arms and continueing, “But Ladybug won’t admit she loves Chat Noir, but Chat Noir is Adrien!” 

Pollen sighed and floated upto sit on the top of the thermos.  It appeared tea would have to wait until their chosen had calmed down. 

“Yes, each one is pinning after the other’s alter ego.  I believe Wazz was referring to it as a…  ‘Love Square of Ignorance’ or something like that.  Apparently Chat Noirs are usually much faster at uncovering their partner’s identities, however Adrien has been raised to be a gentleman and has pointedly refused to do so.  Despite Plagg’s insistence.”

Chloé sighed and rolled her eyes.  “Yeah well, that’s Adrikins for you.  Polite to a fault.  Wait, Plagg knows about this?” 

“We all do actually,” Pollen replied, not looking at Chloé and longingly stroking the thermos lid they were sitting on.  “Plagg, Wazz, Trixx.  This miraculous masquerade has even begun to test Tikki’s patience, and she’s always been the most adamant voice for our chosen to maintain total anonymity.  ‘Reap what you sow’ I suppose.”

Chloé stared at her Kwami in surprise as she digested this information along with everything else she had learned from Ladybug.  Then she noticed the object of Pollen’s attention and gave a self-berating grumble.  She went over to the thermos and Pollen quickly took flight so she could open it for them.  “Sorry,” she mumbled, grabbing the tea cup Pollen had designated as their own, and poring a generous amount of Earl Grey for her tiny friend.  Pollen sipped at their beverage of choice happily, but as always, with royal edict.  Chloé poured herself a cup and sat down in a nearby chair, only nursing her tea as her thoughts began to steep in her swirling mind. 

The two sat quietly in Chloé’s luxurious though solitary apartment, the silence only broken by the occasional ‘clink’ of Pollen’s tea cup.  When Pollen had finally had their fill, Chloé set down her own cup as well and voiced the bitter thoughts that had been stewing in her mind.   

“Ladybug said she knew Adrien.  Like, she knew him personally.”

Pollen politely dabbed at their mouth with the corner of a nearby napkin, but offered no input of their own, so Chloé continued. 

“If she knows Adrien personally, that means she probably goes to school with him.” 

Pollen put down the napkin and leisurely sat down on the edge of the table, but still said nothing.

“And if Ladybug goes to school with Adrien, then she knows Chloé Bourgeois.  And if she knows Chloé Bourgeois, then that…  explains a lot.”  Chloé said sadly, as Pollen became oddly fascinated with the floor.  “And if Ladybug knows Chloé Bourgeois, then Vixen knows Chloé Bourgeois, and that,”  Chloé collapsed back into her chair and stared forlornly up at the ceiling for a moment before concluding, 

“…and that means Queen Bee’s kind-of-a-girlfriend, definitely hates her guts, but just doesn’t know it yet.”

Pollen let the sentence hang in the air for a moment as they carefully chose their own words. 

“To quote your father, I can neither confirm, nor deny these allegations at this time.”

Chloé slapped one hand over her face without looking down from the ceiling and gave an exasperated moan. 

“Chloé this is not the end of the world.  Or of your love life for that matter.”  Pollen told her, flying up to hover closer to Chloé’s head.  Something they only did when their concern for their chosen outweighed the royal decorum of observing personal space. 

“It may as well be,” Chloé replied, taking her hand off her face to speak but turning away from looking directly at Pollen.  “When this all ends or we all come clean with each other, Adrien’s love problems are going to disappear a puff of red polka dot smoke.  While my chances with Vix are going to go up in flames the moment she learns she’s been spit swapping with the world record holder for indirect Akuma creation.”

“You’ve gotten significantly better since I’ve known you.”  Pollen argued, flying around so Chloé had no choice but to look at them.  “You may not be the nicest person in Paris but you have gotten much better at only being mean to people who deserve it.” 

“People like Marinette?”  Chloé asked bitterly, turning away again. 

Pollen sighed and flew around to face her again.  “So you have made some mistakes.  You are still quite young even by human standards, and you have begun to learn from those moments of poorer judgment rather than simply repeat them.  Granted you may still be having some difficulty finding or asking forgiveness from some of those you’ve wronged unjustly, but it is not hopeless.  I seem to remember you and I having quite a strained relationship too at first.”

Chloé huffed, but smiled at the memory.  “Strained and sore you mean.  I still remember the looks I got when I showed up to school with a black eye.” 

“We imagine they were nothing to the ones your peers gave you after you, how did that article put it?  Oh yes, ‘decimated’ that Lila woman when she attempted to attacked your people.”

Chloé huffed again.  “Rose and Juleka were just my former victims and classmates back then.  And I didn’t even mean to help them at first, I told you I just… reacted.”

Pollen landed on the back of the chair and smiled.  “And though We may have missed that particular ‘reaction’ as you put it, We have seen you ‘react’ on quite a number of occasions,” Pollen said fondly.  “You may not be a forgiving or gentle hero Chloé, but you are a strong and devoted Queen.  Remember that.”

Chloé had no choice but to smile back as she recalled them learning that particular lesson, but her thoughts drifted even further back when her eye caught sight of her open laptop over Pollen’s shoulder.  Her lock screen was set to show a short slide show, and she watched at the images cycled through.  The first was of a professional looking man in a tuxedo with a small mustache, standing at attention though he was looking into the camera and giving it a small smile.  Then came two teenage girls, one tall and wearing punk-gothic looking pajamas, with her dark purple hair partially covering her face, and the other short, blond, blue eyed, and clad in the most gagging pink night dress any camera had ever captured.  The girls were asleep, leaning against one another, the smaller one’s head resting on the taller girl’s shoulder, and the taller girls cheek resting on shorter ones head.  Their hands were interlocked between them, and a half-eaten bowl of popcorn off to one side.  Next was the familiar face of Adrien Agreste, posing along with Chloé in what was supposed to have been a funny picture, although Adrien somehow still looked fantastic.  And finally, the screen changed show a beautiful blond haired, green eyed woman, laughing while she held two young kids in her arms, one a green eyed boy and the other a blue eyed girl. 

“She would be proud of you, Chloé.”  Pollen said, not needing to turn around to know where she was looking. 

Chloé began to blink back tears and her vision blurred, forcing her to close her eyes.  Even as she felt the tears fall, she smiled.  She had come a long way since first getting her miraculous.  As a person, as a leader, and as a member of a family.  An unconventional and broken family to be sure, but she wouldn’t trade it for the world.  It was still a family that accepted her, and pushed her to be herself instead of the hateful monster she had become in order to please her father.  Her mind floated back to the day she had first begun to realize she still had that family.  The day she had been offered Pollen’s miraculous for the first time.  The day that marked the death of the only mother she had ever known.

Mrs. Sophia Agreste.  

Chapter Text

In which Chloe cries a lot, Adrien has an identity crisis, and Plagg is there.

Despite what most of her classmates would assume, Chloe Bourgeois adhered to a very strict schedule.  Every Tuesday she had her nails done at her favorite salon.  Every Friday, after she was given her generous allowance, she spent the afternoon going to the same expensive stores, in the same order, to ensure that her wardrobe was stocked with the latest fashions, even though her white blouse and yellow cardigan never went out of style.  Every Sunday afternoon was spent with Sabrina, either playing superheroes or making plans to keep their “peers” in line.   Every second Thursday of the month she attended her father’s staff meeting so that she knew what to say and how to act at the next public address.   And every year on the fourteenth of May, she cried.

No matter what day of the week it was, no matter what obligations she had scheduled, Chloe Bourgeois disappeared from the eyes of the world on May fourteenth, and was not seen again by anyone, until the next day when she went back to her normal, self-centered, intolerable self.  She always made sure to fake some generic illness building up the day prior, in case she had class or some important function she was supposed to attend as the mayor’s daughter that day.  So far, no one seemed to have caught on that she always got food poisoning on the same day every year, but anyone that knew Chloe Bourgeois knew better than to be anywhere near her when she was feeling ill and even more irritable than usual, so she was always left alone. 

Completely alone.   

She spent those long twenty-four hours sitting in her room and crying until she had no tears left.  She didn’t put on makeup.  She didn’t shower.  She didn’t see or speak to anyone.  Even on the rare occasion that her father came to see her, her personal butler would tell him that she was asleep and not to be disturbed before he had even reached the elevator.  She only ate at the end of the evening right before she fell asleep from emotional exhaustion, and even then, it was only some simple bread and expensive mineral water.  She couldn’t stomach anything more than that with the guilt and anger churning in her stomach. 

All she did was cry and think.  She thought about all the unnecessarily horrible things she had done to random people that year.  She thought about all the completely necessary horrible things she had done to Marinette that year, though she almost felt a little bad for some of the meaner stuff.  She thought about how horrible a daughter she was, about how she couldn’t really be the perfect little political asset her father needed her to be.  She thought about Adrien, and how they had gone from being practically family, to rarely speaking unless she was throwing herself at him to convince the world she was smitten with him.  And most of all, she thought about how disgusted Sophia Agreste would be with the monster she had become, and how much of a complete coward she was for not doing something to change it.

In fact, despite all the monsters, bad guys, superheroes, and all-around magic that had forced its way into Chloe’s daily life, she had stubbornly done her best to keep to her regularly scheduled life of being a rich and vindictive brat.  She forcibly ignored any hint of magical consequence that may have flared up from time to time, despite the innumerable chances she had had to change her ways.  Only once a year did she allow herself to even consider doing something that could upset her life of luxurious monotony. 

Every May 14^th, at around four o’clock, Chloe’s hand would hover over her phone for a good five to ten minutes.  She spent that entire time trying to will herself to pick it up and make a call that she had been trying to make for the past ten years.  A call she hoped might finally be the start of her turning her life around.  But every year, fear and her own obstinace would ultimately win out over her guilt, and she’d give up in disgust. 

Or her arm would get tired from hanging in the air for so long and then she’d give up in disgust. 

It was just another part of her strictly scheduled life.  But a schedule was a good thing.  It meant safety and predictability.  It meant control, and she needed control.  If she didn’t have control then the carefully maintained lie that was “Chloe Bourgeois” would collapse.  Even when she was facing near certain death at the hands of some punny named super villain, she always kept control.  Whether she was whining about how the worst her would be murderer was doing was ruining her hair as she hung suspended over a pool of boiling soup, or complaining that she was going to be late for a spa appointment while she was being chased around by a dozen mind controlled minions, she always kept up the uncaring rich girl persona. 

Granted, most of what she complained about really did get under her skin to a degree, so it was easy to just play it up a little. 

However, on one particular May fourteenth, well over a year after the first Akuma attack and the appearance of Ladybug and Chat Noir, Chloe had finally picked up the phone.  She had even gotten as far as opening her contacts list and finding the name she wanted.  It was the closest she had ever come to making the call, but even though her finger was trembling less than an inch above the screen, she knew she wouldn’t do it.  She could already feel her courage drain as she looked at the smiling face of Adrien Agreste.  

What would he even think of her calling him on the anniversary of his mother’s death?  He probably didn’t even have his phone on anyway.  He was probably with his father placing flowers on her grave, something she should have done years ago. 

She curled her finger back into her fist and closed her eyes in defeat.  There would be no call this year either.  No heartfelt apology and tearful reunion with the only real friend she had ever had. 

But there is a saying that fate helps those who help themselves, and while Chloe’s courage had failed at the last second, it seemed that the world had either taken pity on her, or simply had enough of her attitude and was willing to provide that little bit of help she needed to get started. 

And it started, fittingly enough, with a bit of sarcasm.   

“You know, as advanced as those things are, I think you still have to push the buttons to make them work.”

Chloe’s head jerked up in surprise.  The phone slipped out of her hands and fell to the floor as she stared at what, impossibly, seemed to be Adrien Agreste himself leaning against the satin draped archway leading into her bedroom.  Her jaw fell open and she stared bewilderedly at him from her seat on the bed.  She blinked several times as Adrien, or at least what looked like Adrien, smiled casually and waved at her.  The two stared at each other a long time until Chloe finally closed her eyes and took a deep, collective breath. 

“You are not Adrien,” she said finally. 

“Really?” the not Adrien asked in surprise, looking down at himself.  “I certainly look like him.” 

“You are not Adrien,” Chloe insisted, keeping her eyes shut.  “Because Adrien isn’t here.” 

“Ah, I see,” not Adrien said.  “Although the evidence would seem to say otherwise.” 

“On the contrary,” Chloe said coolly, opening her eyes and fixing him with her best look of daunting bravado.  “I know Adrien isn’t here because it is impossible for anyone to be here.  Nobody could open my door without the key, and nobody has a key except for my butler and he would have announced you if he had let Adrien in, which he wouldn’t because he’s not supposed to let anyone in.  So, you are not here.”

“Fascinating,” the person who logically wasn’t there replied.  “So if I can’t be here, even though I obviously am, then that can only mean…”

Chloe took another steadying breath and finished, “You’re a hallucination.  I’ve finally lost my mind, and I’m hallucinating Adrien Agreste in my bedroom.” 

“Well, technically I think I’m still in the hall leading to your bedroom,” the hallucination corrected, looking down and adjusting his feet so they were completely behind the potted plants.  “And how do you know I’m not the real Adrien Agreste just coming to visit my oldest, dearest friend?”

Chloe glared harder at whatever or whoever was with her and growled back, “Adrien doesn’t want to see me.  Not after the way I’ve treated him.  Especially not today…”

The anger left her voice at the end and she had to look away.  She felt the tears coming again and she let them fall, not caring if she had imaginary company. 

“So you do remember,” the fake Adrien said softly.  He sounded slightly surprised, and she scoffed at him. 

“Of course I remember,” she said.  “I was there.” 

Silence hung in the air and Chloe began to wonder if the hallucination had disappeared.  Turning around, she saw that he had simply moved.  He was now sitting in profile on the loveseat at the foot of her bed.  He looked at her and gave her a quick uncertain smile. 

“Well, all the more reason for me to be here,” he said brightly.  Then his face fell and he added, “Maybe I’d like to spend her anniversary with someone who loved her too, for a change…”

“You,” Chloe shook her head, “Adrien has his father.  I know he always complains about Uncle Gabriel being heartless, but he couldn’t just leave his son alone on… on today.  I’m sure they’re….  having dinner or…  visiting her or…  something…” 

It was the hallucination’s turn to scoff at her.  “You have no idea what he’s like, Chloe.”

“Shut up!”  She snapped, turning away to face the wall again.  “I don’t have to listen to someone who doesn’t even exist make me feel even worse about today!” 

 There was another long silence as Chloe felt the hot tears building up again.  Beating up on herself was one thing, but hallucinating Adrien to make her feel even worse about leaving him alone like this, that was really crossing a line with herself, she thought.   

“Why not just call me and find out?”

Chloe sighed and she wiped her eyes.

“Because you hate me,” she said quietly.

“I don’t hate you, Chloe,” the hallucination argued but Chloe spun back to face him and stood up yelling,

“The real Adrien hates me!  And if he doesn’t hate me he should!  All I do is throw myself at him and creep him out like some kind of creepy stalker creep!  He’s the nicest boy in the world and I take advantage of him nearly every chance I get!  He used to be my brother, and I nearly kissed him at his own birthday party!  Ech!” 

Chloe nearly retched and sat back down on the bed, burying her face in her hands to try to hide from the memory. 

“Yeah, about that…” the hallucination said, also sounding quite uncomfortable.  “Glad to hear you don’t think of me that way, but why did you suddenly start acting like I was your boyfriend once I started going to school?”

“Because I’m a Lesbian and I knew I could use you as cover without you ever wanting to actually go out with me,” Chloe replied, still distracted from the horrific and shameful memory. 

“Well, you could have at least asked me about it first,” the hallucination replied rolling his eyes in annoyance. 

There was another pause and then Chloe slowly straightened up and quietly repeated,

“I’m a lesbian.” 

She looked almost bewildered by her own statement and she said it again, though this time with more confidence. 

“I am a lesbian.”

“Yeeessss, I heard you the first time Chloe.” the hallucination said slowly, arching an eyebrow at her.

Chloe smiled and ducked her head back down to her hands.  Her body began to shudder and it became clear that she was giggling for some reason. 

“Uh… Chloe?”

“I’m GAY!” Chloe exclaimed, throwing her arms and legs out and falling back onto the bed in a fit of laughter. 

“Yes.  Yes, you are.”  The hallucination agreed, awkwardly watching as the girl on the bed continued to laugh and laugh until fresh tears began to form in her eyes.  

As she laid there, completely oblivious to everything but herself, a small black creature with lime green eyes flew out from the hallucination’s shirt to stare at her as well. 

“Uh, you sure this is the one you want to pick?” it asked, looking at Chloe uncertainly.  Hallucination Adrien gave it a warning look and shoved it back into his shirt pocket. 

Eventually, Chloe’s laughter ran its course, and she simply laid on the bed, still smiling and giggling every so often as she tried to catch her breath.

“Enjoy your new discovery?” the hallucination asked, but Chloe just dismissively waved him off.   

“Please, I’ve known I was gay since I went to the Agreste swimsuit fashion show when I was eight.  I just… I’ve never said it out loud before.”  She gave another contented giggle and smiled.  “It feels… nice.”

The hallucination smiled back too.  “Well I’m happy to be the first one you’ve said it too.” 

“Please, you don’t count,” Chloe countered.  “You’re not even real.” 

The hallucination huffed, and crawled forward onto the bed, the mattress sagging under his weight.

“Chloe.”

“Hmm?”

The hallucination reached forward and flicked her sharply on the nose. 

“OW!”  Chloe sat up rubbing her nose and glared at Adrien.  “What the hell was that fo...”  Her voice faded out as she stared at the satisfied smile of the boy sitting next to her. 

She looked him up and down several times and then reached out and poked him.  He let himself lean back a little with the poke.  Still smiling he said, 

“Hello, Chloe.”

Her face went as white as the silk sheets they were sitting on. 

“You can’t tell anyone!”  She screamed, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him.  “I’ll give you whatever you want!  How much do you- Shit!  You’re richer than me.  I’ll, Ah, Uhm.  I’ll destroy your- um.  No one will ever- crap.  My father will hear of- NO!!”

Chloe was hyperventilating and panicking so much she seemed to be terrifying herself with her own threats.  Her eyes were unfocused and she was shaking badly as she held on to Adrien with all her strength.  Scared that she might hurt herself, or at least traumatize herself, Adrien did his best to calm her down before she passed out. 

It took several minutes of rubbing her arms and pleading with her to just breathe before Chloe seemed to come back to reality again.  She was still crying and trembling, but he had gotten her to let go of his shoulders and take one of his hands instead.   He used his other arm to pull her into a slightly awkward one armed hug.  She continued to tremble, but he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze every so often, and eventually she started to squeeze his hand back and nod when he talked to her.  Her tears began to slow, and her breathing evened out a little.

“Just breathe Chloe,” he told her again, giving her hand another squeeze.  That was what you were supposed to do to comfort someone wasn’t it?  It was what he had always done for his mother when she was in the hospital.  “It’s going to be all right.  Okay?”

Chloe sniffed, and tried to dry her eyes.  “I’m just…  I’m sorry, I…  Please don’t tell anyone about me.  If my father ever found out I could be disowned and have to live off the streets in a box and… and have to eat pizza or starve or… something, I don’t know!  Just please Adrien, you have to keep this a secret!”  She looked at him with such sincere fear, although it was hard for him not to grin at some of her more specific worries.

“Chloe, I…  Look, I promise I won’t tell anyone,” Adrien assured her.

“Really?” she asked.  He had never seen her look so vulnerable before.  Her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying, and her face was completely bare of all make up.  She didn’t look like Chloe Bourgeois anymore, just a terrified girl who was in dire need of a hug and a fresh box of tissues. 

He squeezed her hand again and gave her a comforting smile. 

“Come on Chloe, am I the kind of guy who would out anybody like that?  Much less my oldest, dearest, most gayest friend ever?”  He added, jokingly grabbing her around the shoulders with both arms and very awkwardly hugging her in mock plaintiveness.   Despite her recent panic attack, she laughed at his overly dramatic theatrics.

“Okay I believe you!” she tittered, putting her hand on his face and shoving him off when he jokingly tried to rub their cheeks together.  He laughed and let go, leaning back to give her space so he could look her over.  She stuck out her tongue and began fixing her hair so she could pretend to ignore him.  He chuckled.  They were both being childish, and it felt wonderful.

“It’s not like this is news to me anyway,” he said, sitting up and straightening out his shirt. 

Chloe stopped part way through redoing her pony tail and looked at him quizzically.  “...What?”

He gave her a deadpan look.  “You’ve never been exactly ‘subtle’ about your love of other women, Chloe.” 

Chloe scoffed in mild outrage and looked at him with her mouth agape. 

“Excuse me?  I have never once let even the slightest hint slip, to anyone, that I was anything less than straight.  In all my sixteen years, never once have I so much as let my gaze linger to long on another female.”

“When we were kids you always insisted that you were the one who got a kiss from the princess whenever we played superheroes.”  Adrien countered flatly.  Chloe just scoffed again.

“I was the hero, you were the sidekick.  Everyone knows the hero is the one who gets the kiss.” 

“You pestered dad constantly if he could design matching wedding dresses instead of a dress and tux after you saw him designing the autumn wedding line one year.”

“That could have been for a double wedding!  They were… quite popular at the time I remember.  Anyway he drew it up for me didn’t he?  So, he couldn’t have thought it was a bad idea.”

“You had him wrapped around your little finger the same as mom did.”  

“Oh, what-ever.” 

“And then there’s your oh so well hidden crush on Ladybug-“

Here Chloe actually put up her hand to stop him.  “Okay, Ladybug doesn’t count.  There isn’t a man, woman, or cat in Paris that isn’t in love with Ladybug.”

Adrien opened his mouth to argue, but upon reflection simply said, “…touché.”

Chloe gave him a victorious smirk and lowered her hand.  They both savored the nostalgic feeling of bickering with each other for a minute or two. 

“I’m glad you came here today,” Chloe said quietly.  “It’s…  I just miss her a lot, you know?  And I really missed you too, even if I’m the reason we…”  She started to cry again, and Adrien pulled her into a hug without a second thought.  She wrapped her arms around him too and buried her face in his shoulder. 

“I missed you too, Chloe,” he whispered, tears forming in his eyes too. 

The two of them hugged and cried for a long time.  After they finished, they reminisced about their times together; about their memories of Aunt Sophia and, to a lesser extent, Uncle Gabriel.  He had never been the most attentive parental figure to either of them, spending most of his time in his office working on designs until Aunt Sophia drug him out to spend time with his family, but Chloe was still shocked when she heard the extent to which he had distanced himself from his son.   

“I’m so sorry, Adrien.  If I had known, I…” 

“It’s okay.” He said, after taking a deep breath.  “You had your own problems to deal with.  It can’t have been easy growing up alone in here either.”  He said, looking around the luxurious, but coldly impersonal looking penthouse.  Aside from a few stuffed animals on the bed, there wasn’t much visible in the apartment that showed off any actual personality. 

“It’s not that bad.” Chloe said, following his gaze around the room.  “I’ve got everything a girl could ask for, literally.”

“Except freedom to be yourself,” he argued.  Chloe looked away. 

“Everything has a price…”

“Chloe,-’

“So how did you get here?”  she asked suddenly.  “I was serious, nobody is supposed to be allowed up here.  Serge’s not even supposed to let my father up here today.” 

Adrien looked unhappy about her defensive change of topic for a second, but then he seemed to change his mind and gave her a mischievous smile. “Well, you should probably lock your terrace door if you don’t want visitors.” 

Chloe blinked and looked at him as if she hadn’t heard him correctly.  “…huh?”

“The terrace.”  He repeated, pointing a thumb over his shoulder.  “Or veranda, or whatever you call it in a hotel.  You really should put a lock on it or something.  Any half decent cat burglar can just walk right in.”

Chloe looked from him to the glass doors just visible through the large windows of her bedroom.

“I guess, but what does that have to do with… Wait… do you mean you?”  She laughed.  “Adrien, please.  There is no way you climbed up five stories to my balcony.” 

“It’s easier than you think,” he said with a smile.  Her laughter died a little but she still looked at him skeptically.   He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.  “I actually, uh…  I didn’t come here to talk about mom.  Though I’m really glad we did.” 

Her expression softened. 

“Me too,” she told him.  She gave him a grateful smile.  “So what did you come here to talk about?  However you came here, anyway.”

He didn’t answer at first, but instead he reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a small wooden box.  The wood was so darkly varnished it looked almost black, but it was streaked with bits of deep red highlighting along the sides.  On top was an almost oriental looking design painted, no, carved in to the wood and given that same blood red color.  On one side were two hinges that she could tell at a glance were made of real gold. 

From the size and hexagonal shape, she quickly guessed it was some kind of jewelry box, but while the design looked antique, the shine of the varnish and the dark rich color of the red paint made it look new.  She was sure of three things however: 

First: old or new, it was definitely handcrafted, and very expensive. 

Second: it was part of a set.  The design and craftmanship was exquisite but not overly ornate.  The creator could have gone into far more detail but chose not to.  The only time Chloe had seen such restraint used on something as ornamental as a jewelry box was when it was part of a set, and all the pieces had to be identical.  Going by the level of detail, she guessed there were around six, at most seven boxes like this in existence. 

And third: it wouldn’t go with a thing in her wardrobe. 

She looked from him to the odd box with a questioning eyebrow.  Adrien just gave her an apologetic smile for some reason. 

“Since you’re trusting me with your big secret, I guess it’s only fair if I tell you mine?”

He didn’t sound entirely sure of himself, so Chloe gently put one hand over the box. 

“Adrien, it’s okay.  I trust you.”  Even she was surprised by how sincere she sounded, but it was true.  It was a little scary actually, trusting someone not because she had paid them off or had threatened them to keep quiet, but simply because she believed that they wouldn’t hurt her if given the chance. 

“Besides,” she added with a shrug.  “I doubt you could be involved in anything even remotely scandalous.”

Adrien looked honestly offended.    

“What?  I’ll have you know I have one of the most scandalous secrets in Paris.  Something everyone in the world is just dying to know!”

“In this little box?” she asked, plucking it from his hand and holding it up for closer inspection.  “What’s in here?  The designs for your father’s fall line?”  She made to open the lid but Adrien quickly stopped her.

“Actually, that’s for later,” he replied, carefully taking the box from her and setting it on the bed behind them.  “But I think you’re going to want to try on what’s inside way more than any of my dad’s designs.”

“Oooo,” Chloe said, reaching for the box again.  “Now I have to know what’s inside.” 

Adrien caught her wrist again and tutted at her.  “First things first Chloe, there’s someone I want you to meet.” 

He stood up, pulling her attention away from the tempting box, and stood in front of her as he reached into his inner shirt pocket again.  At least, that’s what she thought he was going to do.  Instead he just held his shirt open slightly and a small black… thing flew out of his shirt and did a few quick loops in the air before saying,

“Finally!  If I had to listen to you two be all ‘happy family’ any longer I was gonna start throwing up rainbows.” 

Under normal circumstances Chloe would probably have screamed and thrown the closest object within reach at the site of any strange, black, flying, and potentially magically corruptible creature, regardless of whether it seemed to be literal bosom buddies with Adrien or not.  But between wallowing in her grief most of the day, her accidental step out of the closet, and her long awaited reconciliation with Adrien, she was just too emotionally drained to make such a dramatic reaction so she instead settled for,

“…oh.”

“Chloe, I would like to introduce you to Plagg, my Kwami.”

“Cool,” she said, watching the little creature give her a dismissive wave as it looked around.  “…What’s a commie?” 

“Kwami,” Adrien corrected, watching Plagg as he ignored Chloe and flew about the room, probably looking for something to eat.  “And he’s kind of a…  guardian spirit sort of thing?” 

“Oh…”  Chloe said again, watching Plagg fly around.  “You know, I’m starting to think I’m hallucinating again.”

“Well could you hallucinate me up some Camembert,” Plagg asked, as he checked under the bed.  “I’m starving here!” 

“Camembert?”  Chloe repeated, looking from Plagg to Adrien in confusion, and slight disgust.  Adrien put his hand to his own face in embarrassment. 

“Plagg, would you cut it out already!  There is no cheese here so could you please just join the conversation?” 

Plagg grumbled at him, but flew back to hover next to Adrien as requested. 

“Thank you,” Adrien said, exasperatedly.  He turned back to Chloe.  “Chloe, you are not hallucinating, but you are about to see something amazingly unbelievable,” he added with a grin. 

Chloe just frowned at him pityingly in response and looked over at Plagg.  Plagg looked back at her before looking at Adrien and also gave him a befuddled look. 

“…What?” Adrien asked. 

“Kid, how exactly are you going to convince her that she isn’t hallucinating, if you’re about to show her something unbelievable?” 

“Yeah, sorry Adrikins, but you’re not really helping your case here.” 

He looked at her flatly before reaching out to flick her on the nose again. 

“Okay okay already!” she yelped, scooting back on the bed and covering her smarting nose with her hand.  “You’re real, I get it!  Now stop hurting your poor oldest dearest friend already.” 

He smiled and held up his hands in a show of peace while Plagg very animatedly rolled his eyes at them. 

“Alright, let’s get a move on already.  The sooner we finish here, the sooner we get to the food!” 

“Fine,” Adrien conceded.  He and Plagg moved around to the foot of the bed and made sure he had ample space.  “Now watch closely.  You are the only person to ever see this.”

“Well, aren’t I the lucky one?” Chloe said, rolling her eyes.  Then her brain caught up with her snark instinct.  “Wait, see what?  Plague isn’t your big secret?” 

“Plagg,” Adrien corrected.  “And kind of, but he’s only part of it.” 

“Will you just show her already!” 

Adrien grumbled something about no one appreciating a proper build up and finally proclaimed,

“Plagg, Claws Out!”

Chat Noir always loved the transformation process.  Putting on the ears and mask with a swish of his hand, directing the sparkling energy from his chest outward to from his suit, and finally feeling his tail burst into being to complete the ensemble.  He felt unbelievably cool nearly every time he transformed.  He expected his first audience to be stunned into silence, or perhaps gasping and stammering in shock and confusion.  He certainly didn’t expect laughter. 

And yet, that was exactly what Chloe was doing.  Laughing.  She saw his confused and slightly hurt look and tried to stifle her laughter. 

“Sorry,” she said unconvincingly, still smiling from behind her hand. “Sorry just… you actually choreographed a whole transformation sequence for Chat Noir?  You even struck a pose at the end and everything.  I just… wow.  No honestly, it’s super impressive how dedicated you are.  I should totally come up with one for Ladybug too!  Of course, I actually have to put on my suit.” 

Chat Noir let his arms fall to his sides and stared at her.  “Uh, Chloe?  You do understand what’s going on, right?” 

“Of course I do Adrien.  I understand completely,” she replied earnestly.  “And really it isn’t that big a deal.  I mean, yeah you went way more into it than most, but that kind of dedication is something to be admired.” 

“Chloe, I think you’re missing something here,” Chat said carefully.  “I mean, you did see the whole thing, right?  Plagg sucked into the ring, magic sparks, Adrien Agreste turning into Chat Noir right before your eyes?”

“And an excellent performance it was,” Chloe replied, smiling encouragingly.  “Seriously, I’m blown away.  You’ve gone just all out on this.  It’s almost like I’m looking at the real Chat Noir.”

Enhanced senses or not, Chat Noir couldn’t believe his ears.  Stammering he frantically gestured at himself and exclaimed,

“You are looking at the real Chat Noir!”

Chloe gave him a patient look.  “Adrien, I’ve spent quite a bit of time around the real Chat Noir ,and know for a fact that you aren’t him.  It’s a very good costume, and I’m not quite sure how you did the actual change, but I can tell it’s you under that mask.  I mean it only covers your cheek bones.” 

Chat Noir continued to gape at her in disbelief.  With a sigh of pity, she stood up and walked over to him. 

“Look, mask aside there are a couple other little details you missed.  Just a couple little things.”

“Like what!?”  Chat Noir screamed.  Chloe pursed her lips and gave him a look that said she did not appreciate his attitude.

“Well, for a start, your hair’s all wrong,” she snapped, reaching up to take one of his stray locks between her thumb and forefinger.  “Chat Noir’s hair looks like a bunch of bananas turned into a wig.  Yours is much to…  uhm…”  She faltered, blinking at the “banana” styled bundle of hair she was holding as if she only just realized it was there. 

She quickly let go of it and shook her head dismissively.  “Never mind.  You’re off on the eyes too of course.  Chat’s eyes are much more…  uhm…” 

As she looked into his eyes she blinked again, as if suddenly able to see them properly for the first time.  “Well, er…  Chat Noir is much taller than…”  She paused, holding a hand level with the top of Chat’s head. 

“…Shorter?” she tried again, moving her hand up so it was level with the tips of his ears.  She faltered there too.  And on the next correction she tried to make.  And the next.  And the next. 

Chat Noir’s confidence began to come back as Chloe began circling him, pointing out a flaw, and then trailing off when she realized it wasn’t a flaw at all.  After the twentieth time, where she tried almost desperately to say that his bell was crooked, she stopped and just stared at him in wonder. 

‘About time,’ he thought. 

“What’s the matter” he asked, giving her his best Cheshire grin.  “Chat got your tongue?” 

The pun seemed to be the last straw, and Chloe took a step back, clutching at her head and said, “But you can’t be… Adrien?” 

His triumph was short lived as Chloe stared at him in shock just a moment longer before suddenly wincing in a contorted grimace and clutching her head with both hands.  Her knees buckled and she would have collapsed on the floor, had Chat Noir not cried out in alarm and bolted to her side to catch her.  As he steadied her, she put one hand on his shoulder, while the other remained clutched to her head in pain.  He helped her back to the side of the bed again and let her sit down.  She refused to lay down completely when he tried to make her, but after a few seconds she was able to open her eyes again. 

“Are you okay?”  Chat Noir asked.  He felt stupid the moment the words left his lips. 

“No,” Chloe spat, rubbing her temples and keeping her eyes pointedly fixed on her own lap.  “I feel like someone just cataclysmed my head.”

“Sorry,” he said meekly.  He sat next to her awkwardly, unsure of what to do, or if he was even still welcome in her company.  Chloe stopped rubbing her head and looked up at him.  Her eyes looked frustrated, then confused, then amazed. 

“It really is you,” she said, sitting up and staring at him in awe.  “You’re Chat Noir.” 

“The one and only,” he said, masking his anxiety with his signature charm.  She gave him a single scoff and shook her head, smiling. 

“How did I not see it?  How did I not recognize you immediately!  You don’t even change your voice!”

Chat Noir Shrugged.  “Ehe, it’s all in the attitude.”  This only made her look more worried and confused so he added, “I think there must be some magic that keeps people from recognizing me.  I mean, both of my faces are on TV nearly every day, but no one’s ever put them together.  I should probably ask Plagg about it actually...”

“Well, thanks for using me as your guinea pig,” Chloe grumbled, going back to rubbing her temples. 

Chat winced at her tone.  “Chloe, I’m sorry.  I swear, I had no idea that would happen!”

Chloe took a deep sigh and put her hands back on her lap.  “It’s alright.  I’m not mad at you, I just…  I feel so…  blonde right now.  It’s like there was this wall separating Adrien and Chat Noir in my brain.  They just couldn’t have any correlation with one another at all.  But when I started looking for reasons why they couldn’t, when you were right in front of me, it was like that wall just… broke.  I’m fine now, but… wow.” 

Chat Noir hummed in response as he thought about her description.  It certainly sounded like magic alright. 

After a while Chloe broke the silence.

“So…”  she said, innocently looking around and casually swinging her feet.  “Chat Noir, huh?”

“Yep,” Chat confirmed. 

“Hmmm.”  Her eyes slid over to him with a hopeful glint in them.  “Don’t suppose you’d be willing to tell me who Ladybug is too, huh?” 

Chat gave her a playfully chiding look. 

“Hey,” she said with a shrug, “a girl’s got to have her priorities.” 

“…touché,” he conceded with a nod, then added with a sigh, “and between you and me I’d love to know too.”

“Wait.”  Chloe blinked in surprise.  “You mean you don’t know who your own partner is?” 

Chat Noir shook his head sadly.  “Our kwamis are pretty big on us keeping total secrecy, even among other miraculous bearers.” 

Chloe gaped at him. 

“Hold on, you two protect your secret identities so much you don’t even know who each other is?  But you’re telling me?” 

“Because I have a very important reason to,” Chat Noir said excitedly.  He adjusted himself so his entire body was facing toward her.  “Chloe, do you know why I became Chat Noir?”

“…So you could hit on Ladybug?” she ventured.

“No.  Though being close to my lady was an unexpected perk,” he admitted.  “I got my miraculous the same day I tried to go to school for the first time.  My dad wouldn’t let me though, and he made Gorilla and Nathalie bring me back and lock me in my room.  I felt like a prisoner!  Then I found my Miraculous and met Plagg.   Becoming Chat Noir gave me the freedom I wanted for so long!  I can do anything like this!  Be anyone!  Adrien Agreste has to be Paris’s poster child, and be a perfect little gentleman twenty four seven, but Chat Noir can do anything he wants!”

“As long as he’s being a hero,” Chloe reminded him.  Chat smiled. 

“Everything has a price,” he parroted.  “But it’s so worth it, Chloe.  I get to be dashing, charming, funny, and most of all free!  All I have to do in return is fight some bad guys once in a while and hang out with the most wonderful woman in Paris.”

“While nearly getting killed in the process,” Chloe added while rolling her eyes.  Still, there was a wistful look in her eyes as they settled on his ring, and that was all the encouragement Chat needed.  He grabbed the ornate wooden box from behind them on the bed.  She looked from him to the box curiously. 

“It is amazing, Chloe.  And I can’t think of anyone else in Paris who would appreciate that freedom as much as I do.”  He offered her the box.

Chloe looked confused a second longer before her eyes went so wide they seemed in danger of popping out of her face.

 “You mean, this is a…”

“Uh hu,” he said, grinning.

“You want me to…”

“Yeah!”  He nodded enthusiastically.

“Are you-”

“I am,” he cut her off, looking her in the eye and letting his excitement give way to certainty. 

Truth be told, he hadn’t come there expecting to offer it to her that night.  He had just meant to see if he could lay some ground work with her, maybe test her to see if she really was as bad as she made out to be with their classmates, find out why she acted so flirty with him.  But she had far exceeded all of his expectations, and he was certain she was the one for the job now.  He just knew it in his gut.  Now all he had to do was wait for her to accept.

“Are you out of your mind!” she yelled furiously, standing up and staring at him in horror.

Of course, Chloe always had a way of surprising him. 

“…What?” he asked, completely lost as to where he had gone wrong.

“I’m Chloe Bourgeois!” she said in way of answer, gesturing to herself franticly. 

“Yes,” Chat said slowly, not seeing the problem.  Chloe groaned and slapped her face. 

“Chloe Bourgeois, the queen bitch of Paris!”

“Language,” Chat chided, but Chloe was in no mood for it. 

“I am the single most horrible person in Paris, Adrien!  I have bribed, blackmailed, and bullied every man, woman, child, and retail worker to ever cross my path.  I publicly humiliated a boy for asking me out with a jeweled broach!  Then I had a girl locked in a bathroom, so that I could stand next to you in a picture to prove how straight I was!  I’ve gotten other students suspended by threatening the principle.  Hawkmoth should give me a medal for the amount of Akumas I’ve made for him!  There isn’t a person in Paris who hasn’t wished that Chloe Bourgeois was dead.”

She wrapped her arms around herself and stared at the floor.  There was a glow of light, and a crackling sound, and she turned to see Adrien Agreste standing in front of her again.   

“I never did,” he told her. 

Chloe actually gasped.  She was sure that if she had any tears left she would have started crying again, but they had been spent.  He walked over to her and took her hands gently.

“You’re family Chloe.  I could never wish you were…  We’ve lost to much of our family already.”  He wiped his eyes.  “But you’re right.  You are pretty terrible to people.  I’m the one who has to clean up your mess, you know.  I’ve fought every Akuma of every person you hurt.  I’ve heard every one of our classmates talk about how you ruined their life.  I watched the caring girl I used to love like a sister and play super heroes with be called pure evil by my friends!  It broke my heart every time I heard someone try to say your name, because your right; Chloe Bourgeois is the most hated person in Paris. I can’t even argue that anymore!”

Chloe looked down at the floor between them, ashamed.  “I can see why you’d think I’d make a good superhero,” she quipped, bitterly.

Adrien looked at her carefully for a moment and then said, “You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you something for a long time, Chloe.”

“Are my sunglasses prescription?” 

He actually was curious about that, but Adrien refused to let her change the subject this time. 

“Why?  Why do you act like this, Chloe?  What happened to you?”

“…Why shouldn’t I act like this?  I’m rich, I’m beautiful, I’m the Mayor’s daughter.  Why not enjoy it?” 

Chloe tried to cross her arms again but Adrien kept his grip on her hands.  She wriggled awkwardly for a second but still refused to look at him.

“Is it because if me?” he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.  “Is it because I left you alone for so long?”

Her heart nearly stopped when she heard the anguish in his voice.  “What?  No!  Adrien no, I left you alone after she died, remember?  I’m the one who stopped visiting and left you alone in that house!” 

“But I could have gone after you!”  He argued desperately.  “Something happened to you to make you like this, and I should have been there to help you after mom…”  

“…Life happened to me, Adrian.”  Her voice was mournful as she turned and looked out the window and gazed out over Paris.  “There’s nothing you could have done to protect me from that.  Most kids get normal families, and like the people their supposed to, but they have to work till they’re eighty just to afford a carboard box to live in.  I get a penthouse and some magic words that get me whatever I want, but I have to be the person I’m told to be.  That’s how life works.  You read your lines off the teleprompter, or you sit in the audience.”

Adrien watched her and the city for a minute before asking, “Did you ever want the box and the family instead?”

“No.”  Chloe’s expression hardened.  “I wanted it all.  The family, the penthouse, the girlfriend, even the box too just so it’s mine.  I wanted all of it, Adrien.”  She scowled.  “But you’re not supposed to have it all.  So, I make do with what I have, and hate the people who have what I don’t.”

“Chloe,”

“I hate them, Adrien!  I hate all our stupid perfect classmates with their perfect little families.  I hate all those stupid peasants who don’t have to worry about their father disowning them because having a gay daughter might hurt their chances of becoming prime minister someday.  I hate Marinette for being the perfectly perfect back stabbing bitch that everyone thinks is so wonderful!  I hate you and Ladybug for saving me all the time when I don’t deserve it!  I hate everything!”

She practically screamed the last words before collapsing onto the floor.  Her body was wracked with dry sobs and her mind was dizzy with hate, pain, and dehydration.  Adrien looked at her helplessly.  He had no idea what to say, or what to do.  Fortunately for both of them, there was still one person left in the room. 

“So the world sucks and it’s not fair,” Plagg said, floating off from his spot on the bed where he had been watching them.  “Congratulations, you’ve already figured out what takes most of you humans’ half your life span.”  He landed in front of Chloe, who looked down at him with a tired, and angry expression. 

“Look,” he told her seriously, which came as quite a surprise to Adrian.  “I’m the Kwami of destruction, so I’m not really good at the whole comforting thing, but here goes.  You’re going to die.”

To his credit, that did get Chloe to stop sobbing.  All she could do was stare at him, then look over at Adrien, who looked like he wanted to die too now rather than be affiliated with Plagg in anyway. 

“Just hear me out,” Plagg insisted.  “You are going to die, right?  You’re human, that’s what humans do.  They live for a little while, and then they die.  We Kwami’s have pretty long life spans, but we spend most of it asleep in our miraculous until some human needs us, and even then we usually only stay awake until their done with us.  So you know what I do when I wake up?  I enjoy it.  Every second of it.  No matter who owns me, if we’re on the good side or bad, I try to enjoy it, cause my time is limited, and so’s yours! 

“I’ll be honest, cause life is too short to beat around the bush you know, I thought Adrien’s brain had gone overripe when he said he wanted you to have the miraculous.  But after gettin’ to know you better tonight, he’s right.  You should have it.  Because you’re miserable.  You get what life’s all about, having fun, and you can’t join the party. so you gotta make it miserable for the folks that can.  I can respect that.  But,”

Plagg flew back to the bed and quickly returned carrying the box.  He placed it on the floor between them and continued. 

“What the kid tried to explain before, is this is your ticket in.  Everybody hate’s Chloe Bourgeois right?  From the sound of things, you want a break from her more than anyone.  Well with this you’ll get a second life!  Sure, you’ll have to risk it fighting a few monsters, but Ladybug’s magic fixes everything anyway.  But for a little bit of work, you get a clean slate.  No fathers, no expectations, you really do get to be whoever you want.  And trust me, the ladies love the mask.” 

“You should know,” Adrien added to Chloe, giving her a knowing smile. 

She was stunned.  A clean slate?  It was impossible.  Everyone in Paris knew who she was, she’d be recognized instantly.  But then, she hadn’t known who Adrien was even after he showed her, so maybe no one would know who she was either.  Still, was Plagg really suggesting that she could be…

“A gay super hero?”  Even when she said it out loud it sounded ridiculous. 

“Why not?” Adrien asked excitedly. 

“Seriously, it’s not the first time it’s been done,” Plagg told her.

“Yeah, but not in Paris?”  Chloe chided him.  “Being gay isn’t illegal, but they aren’t exactly openly welcomed either.” 

“It’s the city of love,” Adrien said, making a dramatic swoon.  “Nobody really cares.  Besides, what better way to meet the ladies of our fair city then by swooping them off their feet to safety.” 

“Yeah, because that’s worked so well for you, hasn’t it lover boy?”  Chloe replied, rolling her eyes at him again.  Adrien wilted somewhat. 

“Well… It’s kind of hard to sweep a girl to safety when she’s actively fighting the danger.” 

“The point is,” Plagg said, trying to keep them from getting side tracked again.  “If freedom to flirt is what you want, this is how you get it.”  He tapped on the box again. 

Chloe looked from him to the box and bit her lip.  She looked to Adrien, but he just smiled and nodded.  Nervously, she reached down, and picked up the box.  She slowly began to open it, and-

“I am a cat!  Just hanging out!”

Everybody jumped as the second verse to Jagged Stone’s number one hit began blaring through the air.  Chloe nearly dropped the box on Plagg, and had to clutch it to her racing heart while she glared at Adrien as he frantically searched his pockets for his phone to silence the alarm. 

“Seriously, Adrien?” 

“Hey, it’s a good song” he said, finally fishing the phone out and silencing it.  “We gotta go.  Nathalie will be calling me down for dinner soon.”

Plagg made his enthusiasm for the evening meal well known, as Chloe shook her head and stood up to escort them out.  A few minutes later, Chat Noir was strolling out onto the terrace with Chloe following behind with an amused expression.

“So, you do the whole dance every time?”

Chat Noir looked up at the sky and sighed exasperatedly. 

“It’s not a dance it’s…  You know what, forget it.  You’ll understand soon enough.” 

Chloe hummed in agreement and looked at the box she was still carrying. 

“You know I’m still not sure about this, right?”

“It’s worth it Chloe,” Chat told her, hopping up onto the railing.  “Look, why don’t you spend tonight just relaxing and taking it easy.  Just hold on to the box for now and we can get started on teaching you the ropes tomorrow after school?”  

Knowing it was Adrien under that mask, Chloe suddenly felt very uneasy seeing him balance precariously over a five-story drop.  She knew Chat Noir never fell, but she still reached up and grabbed his arm anyway. 

“You know you could just walk across the street.  We can literally see your front door from here,” she suggested.  He smiled at her and squatted down on the rail to look her eye to eye. 

He carefully removed her hand from his arm and held it between his. 

“True, but remember what Plagg said.  Our time is limited, so enjoy it.”  And with that he let go of her hand and launched himself backwards into the air.  Chloe almost screamed out his name, but caught herself before she did.  Instead she just huffed and shook her head as she watched Paris’s favorite cat pole-vault and backflip his way to the back of the Agreste Mansion. 

“Show off.” 

With an affectionate smile she turned and went back inside.  Chat was right, it was nearly dinner time, and for the first time she was ending Sophia Agreste’s anniversary without her stomach churning with bad butterflies.  She grabbed her mineral water and drained the whole bottle in one go.  Not very lady like, but then, who cared really?  Catching sight of herself in the reflection off one of her windows she cringed.  Had she really spent the entire afternoon with Adrien looking like that?  It was a good thing he was family, anyone else would have to be killed for seeing her in such a state.  Making her way back to the bedroom, she grabbed another bottle of mineral water and put the box in a place of honor atop her Ladybug pillow before stepping into the bathroom to freshen up. 

She thought about what she would like Serge to bring her for dinner as she ran herself a bath and tried to keep herself from dry sobbing again after getting a good look at her swollen red eyes.  She didn’t notice the heavily varnished box begin to slip from atop the round and fuzzy ladybug pillow.  No sooner had she closed the door, then the box fell off the pillow and bounced off the stairs leading up to the bed, popping open and releasing an orb of golden light. 

Chapter Text

In which the penthouse gets a makeover, Serge is on call, and Chloe gets a lot of tail. 

Chloe shook out her loose hair and shuddered as she opened the bathroom door and felt the comparatively chilly air of the apartment wash over her.  She silently thanked Serge for always including slippers with the silk pajamas he kept stocked in her bathroom.  She hated to think what the cold tile would feel like against her bare feet.  Just looking at it made her shiver and…

She froze as her eyes locked onto the fallen, and horrifyingly open wooden box that lay on the hard tile floor a foot or so from the steps leading up to her bed.  Her gaze slowly drifted from the box to the vacant eyed ladybug plushie she had perched it on earlier. 

‘Et tu, Dot?’ she thought. 

Turning her attention back to the box, she grimaced and slowly made her way over to assess the damage.  The box had fallen open facing away from her so she couldn’t see inside.  Part of her didn’t want to look, but she didn’t have a choice.  Picking it up gingerly with both hands, she opened it fully and finally got a look at its’ contents.  She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting, but she was not disappointed. 

Inside, and thankfully held securely in place, was a breathtakingly beautiful decorative gold comb, with a gilded honeybee design making up the bridge.  She was pleased to see that contrary to the box it was held in, the miraculous inside was just her style.  Shining gold, sparkling black obsidian, the bee thing seemed a bit on the nose if that was going to be her motif but she figured it would probably change into something less obvious like Adrien’s ring did.  Speaking of…

She looked over at her phone and bit her lip in thought.  Adrien had said they would go over how to use her miraculous and everything tomorrow after school.  But it wasn’t like he had expressly told her not to try it out tonight. 

Brushing her fingers over the beautiful honeybee design she again marveled at the comb.  The craftsmanship was masterful.  The gold felt strangely warm under her fingers, almost as if the metal were alive, and it struck her that she was holding a real miraculous.  Something magical, capable of granting her who knows what kind of unimaginable powers.  With this she wouldn’t have to be Chloe Bourgeois anymore.  She could be whoever she wanted to be.  And flirt with cute girls like there was no tomorrow! 

Of course, magic had never been exactly kind to her in the past and without Adrien to explain how it worked she might blow up half her apartment.  Or take over someone’s mind.  Or travel back in time and accidentally create a world where apes evolved from men!  Though Adrien’s bodyguard probably wouldn’t be affected much.   

Deciding it would be best to not play around with powers she could not yet comprehend on a school night, Chloe was about to close the box when,

Tunk.

The sudden sound made her jump and twist around to look behind her. 

“Hello?” she called out. 

There was no answer. 

Holding the open box tight to her chest, she carefully made her way around the stairs in search of whatever, or whoever had made the odd noise.  She saw the culprit almost immediately.

It was her mostly used box of tissues.

Breathing out a sigh of relief, she sat back down on the bed and let herself fall back onto the mattress.  The tissues must have been close to the edge and just slipped off when she sat down or something, she figured.  She rubbed her face and again felt the weight of the day pressing down on her.  She had been feeling significantly better after her bath, but one falling box of Kleenex was all it took to stress her nerves to the limit again.  Best to just order some sushi and call it a night before she mistook her teddy bear for an Akuma. 

Putting the jewelry box on the bed and crawling over to the nightstand she picked up her phone and pressed the speed dial for her faithful personal butler.  She smiled when he picked up only half way through the second ring, as usual. 

“Mademoiselle Chloe? Is something wrong?”

“Hello Serge, no everything’s fine.  I’m just feeling a bit hungry.  Could you order me an eel plate from the usual place?”

“But of course, Mademoiselle!  I shall see to it at once,” Serge said happily.  “May I presume then, that you are feeling better?   …Mademoiselle?”

“Huh?  Oh, yes.  Much better.”  Chloe shook her head and continued.  “I’m just tired, Serge.  I’ll be fine once I get something in my stomach and get some sleep.”

“Understood Mademoiselle, I shall have your order brought up as soon as it arrives.  Is there anything else you require?” 

“No, I believe that will be all, Serge…  Oh, wait!  A few more bottles of mineral water.”

“It will be brought up shortly, Mademoiselle.”  And with that, Chloe pressed the button to end the call. 

Tunk.

She froze.  It was the same sound she had heard earlier. 

Slowly crawling over to the opposite edge of the bed, she peeked over and saw that the tissue box had somehow moved to the next step down.  Which didn’t make any sense since even expensive tissue boxes didn’t move around on their own.  At least, not so far as she knew.  But as she continued to watch, the box suddenly jumped and flung itself the rest of the way down to the floor.  Chloe yelped in surprise and flattened herself onto the bed.

Peeking over the edge, she watched as the box continued to bounce about on its own for a few more seconds before going still.  Grabbing her phone, Chloe was just about to call her father when she realized that for once, he might not be the best answer to her current situation.  Backing out through her contacts she found Adrien’s name and hit call. 

“Pick up, pick up, pick uuuAAAAAAAA!” 

Glancing back over to the tissue box on the floor, Chloe was more than a little surprised to see that it was not on the floor, but was instead hovering in midair just a few feet away from her.  Panic overrode common sense and she hurled her phone at the box with all her strength.  Unfortunately, aim correction was not one of the Myphone 13’s installed apps, and the top of the line smart phone missed its target by several inches, smashed through the glass window overlooking the beautiful Parisian night, and plummeted to the street below.  

Undeterred, Chloe grabbed the next object within reach and hurled that at the floating box.  Her pillows were considerably larger than her cell phone, and Chloe managed to knock the box out of the air on her second try. 

The box gave a surprised but slightly muffled, “AAH!” of its own as it tumbled back to the ground with the pillow resting atop it. 

Chloe crept up to the box as quietly as she could.  She could just hear a soft moaning coming from it.  Swallowing, she took the pillow off the box and held it in front of herself like a shield.  The box was slightly smushed now, and resting on its side with the opening in the top facing her.  She crouched down to try to look through the clear plastic covering the opening.  It was too dark inside to see, so she reached in with a finger to spread open the plastic so she could get a better look.  No sooner had she poked her finger inside than she felt a sharp sting as something pricked her. 

“Ouch!” 

She withdrew her hand quickly and put the injured finger to her lips. 

“And there is plenty more where that came from, you barbarian!” called a tiny angry voice from inside the box.

If she had been in a good mood, Chloe might have been able to forgive the slight injury to her finger.  However, Chloe was far from being in a good mood, and the incomprehensible level of insult at being called a “barbarian” was beyond forgiveness.  Which was why Chloe felt completely justified in smashing the top of the box with her pillow again. 

“And there’s plenty more of that too!” she yelled back. 

Chloe hadn’t done much damage with the ultra-soft pillow, but she did manage to cave in the center of the box slightly.  Realizing she would need a better weapon, she began reaching for the school bag she kept at the foot of her bed, when two pure blue insect-like eyes peeked out from the damaged box.  She froze, and the eyes glared at her for a moment before the voice inside said,

“It would appear that we are at an impasse then.”

“Hardly.”  Chloe scoffed at the tiny creature and casually relaxed back into a sitting position.  “You’re stuck in there, but I can crush that flimsy box with my bare hands if I wanted to.”

The eyes narrowed to glare back at her.

“That would be most unwise, unless you desire another taste of our sting,” it said warningly, but Chloe just scoffed again and began examining her nails. 

“Please, my eyeshadow is bigger than you.  If you think some little pin prick is going to, ow!” 

Chloe winced and shook her hand as she suddenly realized that the spot she had been stung was beginning to hurt.  Looking closely, she realized that the injured finger was red and noticeably swollen.

“Fufufu.”  The thing in the box laughed hotly, its eyes narrowing in satisfaction.  “Our sting has more bite then you think, brute.” 

If Chloe had been mad before, she was out right seething now. 

“Listen you… whatever you are.  I am the Mayor’s daughter.  I am the closest thing to royalty you are ever going to meet, and I-” 

“Mayor’s daughter?  Ha!” the voice barked at her.  “You are speaking to the tutor of true royalty, you bumptious ruffian.  I have held court in a hundred lands, watched civilizations rise and fall with a wave of my arm, and have been personal advisor and confidant to the greatest queens in all of history!  Yet you dare try to command my respect with a pathetic, inherited title like ‘mayor’s daughter?’  An uncultured wildwoman born into an undeserved seat of privilege?  You are not fit to shine the boots of our-“

Slam!  Slam!  Slam!

Chloe had never considered herself to be a violent person, but then she had never considered herself to be a saint either.  Besides, the thing in the box probably should have noticed she was reaching for her heaviest text book instead of getting caught up in itself as it insulted her. 

When she had finished smashing the tissue box into a crumpled mass of broken cardboard and shredded Kleenex, and was able to see the world in colors other than red, she realized that she had probably just murdered the horribly rude little what’s-it inside.  She poked cautiously at the box with the corner of the history book.

“Um…  You… still alive in there?”

There was no response. 

Deciding that she was in way over her head, she quickly got up and went back to her bed to search for her phone to call someone for help.  Completely forgetting that she had just thrown her phone out the window, she frantically searched among the upturned pillows until she felt the point of a venom tipped stinger jab into her backside.

“Yeowch!”

Chloe howled in pain and hopped around rubbing her pricked posterior muttering increasingly explicit expletives as she did.  The tinny yellow and black creature hovering just behind her gave a cry of victory. 

“Ha!  Surrender, you vulgar guttersnipe!  You’ll not best us so easily!  Our mastery of the art of combat is second to none amongst our-“

Smash!

Chloe brought the book down on top of the creature as hard as possible and ground its little body into the floor with all the fury she could muster. 

After a few seconds of pressing down with all her weight, she pulled the book away to look at the remains of her attacker.  The creature was completely flattened in an almost cartoonish fashion.  It blinked up at her once and then popped back into its proper shape.  As it sat up it shook its head and groaned, letting Chloe finally get a good look at it. 

The first thing she noticed about it was its distinctly yellow and black striped coloring.  It had a tuft of white fluff around its neck and chest like a fur frock, and a bulbous head that was bigger than its body with two black antennae sticking out the top.  Everything about the creature screamed “Bee” and with an awful jolt Chloe realized,

“You’re the guardian spirit thing of my miraculous, aren’t you?” 

The bee thing seemed to snap out of its daze and stared up at her, it’s solid blue eyes wide with horror.  

“Your miraculous?  Impossible!  The guardians would never entrust a Miraculous of such grace and refinement as ours to an uncouth savage such as you.  Unless…”  The Kwami stood and preened the fluff around its chest thoughtfully as Chloe fought back the urge to smash it flat again.  “Tell me, what year is this?”

Chloe took a deep breath and replied,

“Twenty eighteen.”

The Kwami took a step back and seemed dazed again, it’s eyes wide with shock. 

“Two thousand and eighteen?  No.  No that can’t be…  We could not have been kept asleep for so long as that.  Why would…”

The tiny Kwami’s voice trailed off as it stared out into nothingness.  Chloe arched an eyebrow as she watched the shocked creature, seemingly lost in its own thoughts.  Then it began to tremble slightly. 

“Um, hey?  Are you okay?” 

The Kwami didn’t answer but began to shake harder.  Not knowing what else to do, Chloe leaned down and poked its’ side gently.  The Kwami screamed and shot off like a rocket away from her.  Chloe jumped back in surprise as well and landed quite painfully on her now swollen rear.  As she rolled onto her side and clutched at her pained posterior, the Kwami stopped in midair and looked around it confusion as if not sure where it was.  As soon as it caught site of Chloe it rounded on her in anger and embarrassment. 

“How dare you touch me, you wretch!”

Chloe glared up at it from the floor. 

“I was only trying to help you, you ungrateful little monster!  You were freaking out so bad you’re lucky I didn’t just hit you with the book again.”

The Kwami looked at her appalled.  

“We… We were doing no such thing!  We are a module of normality and poise.  There is nothing the least bit freakish about us.  If anything, you are the only freak in this room.  Just look at your eyebrows.  They look as if you had drawn them on with a mud crusted stick.  And those swollen lips make you look like a bullfrog waiting for a-“

Thwack!

Despite being an ancient spiritual guardian, the Kwami seemed yet to have learned not to strike a regal pose and close their eyes when insulting someone holding a makeshift weapon.  Chloe on the other hand had just discovered that hitting small creatures with a history book sideways was just as satisfying as smashing it down on top of them.  Especially when the annoying little pest flew strait into a wall, rebounded slightly, and fell neatly into a potted plant below like a basketball into a hoop. 

As the tiny creature pulled itself out of the pot with a grunt of effort, it glared little venom tipped daggers at Chloe. 

“Oh, We think that will be quite enough of that.” 

Chloe gulped as she strengthened her grip on the history book. 

About thirty minutes later, Chloe sat panting and straining amongst the overturned wreckage of her living room.

A trail of destruction ran through the entire apartment.  It began at the destroyed tissue box in her bedroom, trailed up and over the disheveled bed, and into the ruined closet that had only one of its French doors still attached to the frame, while the other lay in shattered pieces amongst the scattered shoes and torn designer outfits littering the floor inside.  The trail continued back out into the bedroom, past the smashed remains of the tipped over potted plant, into the hall connecting the bedroom to the rest of the apartment, where the window closest to the bedroom had been broken out as if something had been batted through it and into the nights sky.  Further along the hall, the remains of another window lay shattered over the floor as if something had flown back into the apartment in a berserk fury.  

The trail then crisscrossed and zigzagged over overturned furniture, until it ended in the center living room where Chloe sat kneeling amongst the torn open cushions and ripped out history pages, gritting her teeth in pain and tightly holding shut a thrashing and angrily buzzing history book with her swollen and cut hands. 

“And you can just stay in there until you learn some manners, you horrible little cockroach!” she growled, slamming the book against the floor a few more times.  She continued to wrestle and mumble curses at the book, completely oblivious to the world until,

“M-mademoiselle?” 

Her head snapped up in surprise to see her faithful butler standing in the door way, holding a serving tray and looking at her in complete astonishment. 

Chloe quickly hid the still thrashing history book behind her back and gave it a good rap with her scraped knuckles to tell it to be still as she and her butler looked at one another.  And at the wrecked penthouse. 

Chloe herself looked, if possible, even worse than her apartment did.  She had been stung at least a dozen times, leaving painful looking red welts on her forearms, neck, hands, face, and several places not visible under her torn silk nightclothes.  Bits of debris, including the closet door she had fallen through, were tangled up in her loose hair.  Her expression was one of a child with her hand caught in the cookie jar.  After first getting into a barroom brawl with the cookie jar and shattering it all over the floor in the process.   

Serge blinked at her in shock for only a second more before he sprang into action.  In one move he righted a nearby footstool, placed the serving tray atop it, crossed the ten feet separating himself from Chloe, kneeled at her side and began checking the extent of her injuries with one hand as he whipped out his phone with the other, and began dialing the number for hotel security without looking.

“Mademoiselle, what on earth has happened to you?” 

Chloe looked around guiltily as she tried to keep the history book hidden behind her back.

 “Um…  there was a…  bee.”   

Serge stopped with his finger hovering over the dial button to look at her. 

“A bee, mademoiselle?”  He asked, his eyes darting to the red welts covering her exposed skin. 

“…It was a big bee.”  Chloe replied flatly.  Serge looked at the torn hem of her pajama shirt and the chaos of broken furniture and torn paper surrounding them.  Feeling the need to further elaborate Chloe added,

“…I won.” 

Chapter Text

In which we round out the cast, Chloe needs some sleep, and someone only thinks outside the box. 

Adrien smiled as he stepped out of his private (and still completely unnecessary) limo and saw Nino, Alya, and Marinette waiting for him at the top of the school’s stairs.  The three of them waved to him and he said a quick goodbye to Nathalie and Gorilla before going up to meet them. 

“Yo dude, what’s up?”  Nino asked, exchanging their patented “secret” handshake. 

“Not much, just glad to be back at school,” he told them, with a tired smile. 

The other three smiled, but still looked at each other anxiously.  It was no secret that yesterday had been the anniversary of his mother’s death.  All the fashion industries of Paris had paid tribute to the tragic passing of one of the most beautiful and beloved models it had ever had.  Gabriel Agreste made sure of it. 

The four of them stood awkwardly looking at each other for a minute.  Finally, Alya dropped the casual act with an exasperated groan and grabbed Nino and Marinette to pull all four of them into a big group hug. The other two resisted a little at first, but soon gave up and wrapped their arms around Adrien as well.  Adrien chuckled a little and did his best to hug them all back.

“Thanks guys…”

They had all made it clear to Adrien that they were there for him, and each had called to check up on him throughout the day yesterday, and had repeatedly offered to come over if he needed them.  He could never tell them, but it was their support that made him choose that day to finally confront Chloe and mend their relationship.  He knew his friends would be there for him no matter what, and that convinced him he needed to start being there for his family.  Well, the family he thought he had a chance of reaching anyway. 

The four of them separated with each one of them wiping their eyes.  This time their smiles were all much more genuine.  Nino patted him on the back and they all silently made their way to class.  There wasn’t anything more to be said, his friends were there for him, and that was that. 

As he climbed the stairs his thoughts turned to Chloe.  She hadn’t answered any of the texts he had sent last night, or this morning for that matter.  She had looked pretty tired when he had left her though, so she had probably just went to bed early and had woken up late.  She was going to need the rest for this afternoon.  He was so excited to show her what she had been missing, he had been half tempted to call her this morning and ask if she wanted to skip school for the day so they could get right to the fun.  Ladybug probably wouldn’t approve of such a thing though, so they’d wait.  But once that bell rung they would be out the door and hitting the rooftops faster than you could say “Claws Out!” 

He was so lost in thought, he barely noticed that Chloe was already in her usual seat when they entered the classroom.  She had her back to them and seemed to be muttering to herself while digging around in her purse.  As usual the other three completely ignored her, save for Alya who just shot her a nasty look. Adrien only realized she was there after he had sat down and started taking out his things. 

“Hey Chloe,” he called.  She stiffened up.  Clearly, she hadn’t been aware of him either.  “How are you…”

His voice died when she turned around to face him.  She didn’t look especially happy to see him.  Though that may have had something to do with the large and painful looking black eye she was sporting.

Alya whistled loudly, while Marinette did a double take, and Nino quietly whispered “dude” under his breath.  They all stared at the bold new ‘racoon’ look the Mayor’s daughter was trying out.  She had bags under the eye that wasn’t completely bruised, which were clearly visible since she wasn’t wearing her usual makeup, or even any foundation.  Though going off of how swollen and bruised her eye was, it may simply have been too painful to put it on that morning. 

Adrien was frozen in his seat one second, and the next he was less than an inch away from her in a state of near panic. 

“What happened?  Who did this?  Are you hurt?  Should I call an ambulance?  Do you need a doctor?  Has anyone seen Rose?”

“Adrien!” 

Chloe grabbed him by the cheeks and brought his now fishlipped face level with hers. 

“I.  Am.  Fine.”  She told him, looking him straight in the eye, or at least as straight as she could.  “I’m okay.  It’s just a black eye, nothing to worry about.  So calm down, okay?”

Adrien did calm down a bit and Chloe let go of his cheeks and gave him a gentle and reassuring smile. 

“…wow.”

Chloe stiffened as she realized they were in public now.  A quick glance around and she saw that most of the assembled class was staring at her in surprise.  Well, Alya looked like the universe had just turned upside down and Marinette was looking from Adrien to Chloe like she was about to burst into tears, but on the whole the expression was surprise.

“I mean, I’m sure I’ll be fine if my charming Adrikins would give me a kiss to make it all better!”  Chloe declared for the classes benefit, being sure to aggressively cuddle up to (elbowed) Adrien and make large pouting kissy lips at him. 

Adrien gave a subtle grunt, and gently pushed her back into her seat, giving her an unhappy frown as he clutched his ribs.  

“Uh…  Yeah you’re fine,” he said, getting the message as she let herself be pushed away, though he made no effort to move from his spot next to her.  

Seeing them go back to their normal dynamic, the rest of the class dismissed the odd exchange without a second thought and went about their business.  Alya continued to look at them suspiciously, but Marinette breathed a deep sigh of relief.  As usual Adrien failed to notice her, but Chloe still shot her a glare, silently telling Marinette not to get too comfortable. 

 “Seriously though Chloe, what happened to you?”  Adrien asked quietly. 

Chloe pursed her lips for a moment before answering. 

“I had a little… pest problem in my room last night.”

Despite being across the room, Alya suddenly perked up asking, “Was it another Akuma attack?” 

Adrien looked worried, as did Marinette for some reason, but Chloe quickly shook her head. 

“No.  It was just a… wasp or something.”

Alya looked at her skeptically. 

“A wasp gave you a black eye?”  Then she laughed.  “If that’s true, then I think Ladybug might be in danger of losing her place as most heroic bug in Paris.” 

Chloe and Adrien looked at her appalled while Marinette seemed to wilt a little for some reason.  Noticing Marinette, and the dangerous glares the two blonds were giving her, Alya quickly corrected, “I mean, Ladybug’s still number one of course!  She just… never punched the walking Akuma magnet in the face is all.”

The mood did not improve

 “For your information, nobody punched me,” Chloe said, tossing her head back dismissively.  Then she cringed and gingerly rubbed her still sore and bruised neck.  “I just tripped over some furniture while dealing with the little home invader,” she grumbled.

Alya smirked. 

“Well, glad to hear karma finally caught up with you.”  She said, then went back to her phone, though she gave Marinette an apologetic look.  

“Yeah, it can be a real Bee-itch.”  Chloe mumbled, still rubbing her neck. 

Adrien beamed at her.

“Did you just make a pun?” he whispered to her.  Chloe shot him a wiry look. 

“Don’t push it,” she told him and nudged him back towards his side of the aisle. 

He went, smiling proudly the whole way until his mind began to connect the dots.  He looked over at Chloe again and realized for the first time that she was wearing a new hair accessory.  She caught his eyes and saw him looking at the golden bee sitting just in front of her pony tail in place of a hair tie.  It blended in with her golden blond hair perfectly, so you wouldn’t notice it immediately unless you knew to look for it, but Adrien did, and he quickly realized who the “pest” in her room last night must have been. 

Before he could do anything but give her a guilty and questioning look, a loud gasp and the thudding of falling books drew everyone’s attention to the front of the class.  Rose, with Juleka of course, had arrived. 

As soon as she had spotted Chloe’s black eye, Rose had dropped the school books she was carrying and thrown her hands up to her face to gasp in horror at such an injury.  Juleka on the other hand looked almost impressed. 

“Oh my goodness!  Are you okay?” 

Rose produced a bright pink first aid box from… somewhere, and nearly flew to her injured classmate. It made no difference that Chloe and her toady Sabrina were still the number one source of torment and suffering for herself and everyone else at the school.  Someone was hurt, so Rose had to take care of them.  Juleka just shook her head and began picking up the books Rose had dropped, as Rose pressed her palm against Chloe’s forehead and started shining a light in her eyes.

As Chloe tried in vain to fight off her class’s self-appointed nurse, she leaned back and accidently stuck her hand into her purse. 

“OW!” 

Rose jumped back as Chloe swore and quickly pulled her stinging hand out of the angrily buzzing lion’s den she had foolishly stuck it in.

“Oh no!  I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt-”

“It wasn’t you!” Chloe snapped, holding her already swelling hand and glaring at her previously beloved designer handbag.  “I just… pricked myself on something in my purse…”

Rose gasped again and grabbed Chloe’s hand.   She pulled a magnifying glass out of the first aid box and began looking it over closely. 

“Was it broken glass?  There could be shards in the skin!  We’ll need to cut them out immediately if it’s broken glass before it gets into the bloodstream.”

Chloe felt close to tears as she tried to pull her hand back and saw Juleka carefully lift a sterilized pink scalpel from the first aid box to hand to Rose. 

Adrien couldn’t help but give a sympathetic smile as Chloe began pleading for her hand back and insisting that there was no glass.  He didn’t enjoy seeing her suffer, but even he had to agree she had it coming.  Like she’d said, karma was a real bee-itch.  Though Chloe would get a chance to dish out some just desserts of her own soon, and he was sure she’d start changing her ways once she got a taste of that sweet nectar of justice.  

…And got to flirt with a few girls.

‘Well,’ he thought, as he watched Rose lead a still frantic and almost broken Chloe out the door and off to the school nurse’s office.

‘If she can survive that long...’ 

Chloe lay on the school’s hospital bed feeling like a partially wrapped frozen mummy. 

Once Rose had noticed the bruise on Chloe’s neck while they were waiting for the nurse to fetch an icepack for her eye, she had nearly stripped Chloe naked searching for more.  Of course, Chloe had had to go through a similar experience the previous night after Serge had found her kneeling in the wreckage of her penthouse, but at least the private doctor Serge had called to see to her hadn’t gasped in horror at every injury, and repeatedly asked her if she was being abused at home. 

She couldn’t fault Rose or the Nurse for asking those questions.  Heck, she had been abused last night, but she couldn’t very well tell them it had been by her new… friend.  Still, the questions only stopped when the nurse called Serge himself to have him verify her “pest control” story.  She did find it a bit odd that the Nurse had known to call Serge instead of the mayor’s office, and even had her butlers cell number on file, but then it may well have been Serge who had signed all of her school paperwork.  Her father was extremely careful about what he put his signature on.   

However, while Serge confirmed that she had been seen by a trusted doctor the previous night, he had also expressed his support of Rose and the Nurse’s refusal to allow Chloe to return to class, given the battered state she was in.  Her father was still blissfully unaware of the extent of the previous night’s incident, so Chloe had little in the way of threats to offer as argument. 

Which was why she now found herself lying on a cheap, commoner’s hospital cot, wrapped head to foot in compression bandages, both to hold the multitude of icepacks covering her bruises in place, and (she suspected,) to keep her from sneaking away. 

She glared angrily at the ceiling.  She couldn’t even shop on her phone while she waited because it had been smashed into a thousand pieces after its’ three story drop, and the replacement wouldn’t be ready until that afternoon.  She was sore, she was cold, she was humiliated, and she was dreadfully bored. 

She adjusted herself a little so she could look over at her purse sitting a few feet away.  The Kwami was still inside as far as she knew.  No, it had a name…  what was it again?  Pigeon?  Pippin?  Something like that. 

She closed her eyes and tried to think back to the previous night.

“I still do not understand why you are so insistent about going to school tomorrow, Mademoiselle,” Serge replied curtly from the empty closet where he was hanging up her clothes for the next day. 

Chloe adjusted herself on the hotel room’s bed uncomfortably, and not just from the numerous welts and bruises covering her body.  Serge had called a private doctor to check her over as soon as he had seen the insect stings covering her face and arms.  She had spent the last hour being poked, prodded, and examined as she repeated again and again that she had been stung by a very big bee.  The doctor had eventually released her back to Serge’s care, saying that she would be sore for a day or two thanks to the bruising, but the swelling from the stings would likely go down by morning. 

Serge had then called her father and made her explain to him what had happened.  Of course, she may have glossed over the true extent of her injuries while on the phone with him, which earned her a suspicious look from Serge, but her father didn’t ask to many questions.  He never did. 

Serge did ask though.  She’d long ago learned that a half-truth was the best lie, so she told him everything from the moment she left the bath.  She just left out the bits about the miraculous or the fact that the bee could talk.  Still, he could tell she was hiding something.  He was normally good about giving her her privacy, like any good butler should, but it was another matter when he thought her silence could be putting herself in danger. 

Which was why he had made her change rooms for the night.  He had said it was because he couldn’t have the broken windows of her penthouse replaced until morning, but Chloe knew it was so he could keep a closer eye on her.  Not that changing the room would keep her safe from the tiny terror when it was still trapped in the history book she was still holding.  Serge had to have been aware of how protective she had suddenly become of her homework, but he had yet to say anything about it.  She’d kept a death grip on the book since he had found her, even during the medical exam.  The Kwami inside had gone completely quiet after she slipped away to hide the miraculous while they were waiting for the doctor.  She’d snapped the jewelry box shut with the comb still inside and stuffed it into her purse while Serge was marveling at the destroyed closet.

Now she was waiting for Serge to finish setting up her temporary room and leave, so she could try to make nice with the creature she had repeatedly bludgeoned over the head and kept pressed flat inside of a high school text book for the last hour and a half. 

…Then again, maybe she could just tie the book shut with a belt or something and leave it till tomorrow.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when Serge stepped back into view and repeated his request. 

“Mademoiselle, please.  You are hurt, you are tired, and you will most certainly have a horrendous black eye tomorrow amongst all your other injuries.  Would it not be better for you to simply stay home and let yourself recover, rather than needlessly risk going out in public in such a state?” 

Chloe sighed and tried to roll onto her back with only a small groan of pain. 

“I’m sure seeing me in ‘such a state’ would only boost the school’s morale,” she said bitterly.  “Plus, Sabrina’s still out with the flu, so I have to take notes and get our homework.” 

There was a long pause and then,

“I am calling the doctor back immediately.  Clearly Mademoiselle is suffering from some horrific head injury that was missed in the initial diagnosis.”

“Fine!” Chloe groaned, forcing herself up into a sitting position to look at him with a tired glare.  Serge simply looked back at her expectantly, waiting for the truth.  Chloe’s attitude held for only a few seconds under his gaze before she had to look away. 

She didn’t trust anyone completely, but her personal butler came close.  She had known Serge longer than she could remember, and he was one of the few people in the world who cared about her enough to tell her when she was wrong.  She’d never lied to him, but there were some secrets she had never told anyone.  She wouldn’t lie to him now, but it seemed another half-truth was in order.  

“Look I…  I made up with Adrien today.”

Judging by his expression, Serge hadn’t been expecting that answer at all.   

“We talked and I… I apologized for the way I had been using him for the last few years.  I told him I was only flirting with him so I wouldn’t have to deal with any other boys flirting with me.” 

“That much, was obvious,” Serge said flatly.  Though he had an amused smile on his lips.  Chloe shot him a warning look and continued. 

“Anyway, I apologized for being weird, he apologized for…  I don’t know, he didn’t do anything wrong.  We talked about how much we missed Aunt Sophia ,and about Uncle Gabriel and we… made up.  We’re friends again.  For real.” 

Serge walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder gently.  “I’m sure Mademoiselle Sophia would be most happy to hear that.”

Chloe just nodded.   

“Yeah, well.  Adrien said he wanted to meet up after school tomorrow so we could hang out, just the two of us.”  If you don’t count the ancient spirit partners anyway, she added mentally.  “It hasn’t been just us for so long, and Sabrina is still out sick and Adrien’s schedule is actually clear for once so I don’t want to miss the chance and...”

She trailed off, keeping her eyes focused on her bedspread instead of Serge.  Everything she had said had been the honest truth, even if she was dancing around some of the minor details.  Like how she had talked with Adrien in person after he had cat burgled his way in to her apartment, or that their little get together tomorrow was for superhero training. 

Minor or not, Serge still seemed to know she wasn’t giving him all the facts.  However, he seemed satisfied that she would be in safe company, so he relented.   

“If that is the case, then I shall of course ensure that mademoiselle’s schedule is also clear tomorrow afternoon.”

She smiled at him gratefully. 

“However,” he added sternly, “I must insist that you not push yourself, Mademoiselle.  As you have said, you will be without Mademoiselle Sabrina tomorrow, so-“

“I promise I’ll behave,” Chloe interrupted.  Serge looked skeptical so she added, “hey, the last thing I need is to be running from another Akuma like this.”  She gestured to the red welts still throbbing on her otherwise flawless complexion. 

Serge gave her a sympathetic look and nodded. 

“Very well, Mademoiselle.  Is there anything else you require?”

Chloe let her eyes fall shut and shook her head slowly. 

“No, I think that will be all for tonight, Serge.” 

Her butler smiled and helped her lie back down, and tucked her into bed.  She yawned and could feel herself quickly drifting off to sleep when she heard Serge say,

“I’ll just leave your text book on the bedside table for you then.”

‘…Merde.’ 

Chloe kept her eyes shut and her expression neutral as Serge turned off the lights and left.  He paused only a moment to half whisper, “goodnight Mademoiselle,” before closing the door. 

As soon as she heard the soft click of the latch, Chloe threw off the covers with a muffled groan of pain and switched on the bedside lamp.  She silently cursed at herself for letting go of the book.  It was still completely motionless on the bedside table, but for all she knew the Kwami had slid out of it the moment she had loosened her grip.  She tapped tentatively on the beaten-up cover. 

“Hey?” she whispered.  “You in there?” 

There was no reply. 

Carefully, she picked up the book by the front and back covers and shook it out over the floor.  A few more pages fell out, but no Kwami. 

She put the book back on the small table with a soft thud.  Wonderful.  She had a pint-sized terror with an elephant-sized ego and a grudge to match hiding somewhere in her room, and waiting to strike with a venom tipped needle attached to its’ rear end.  Was it really too much to ask for this night to just be over already? 

She wracked her exhausted brain for options as she looked about the unfamiliar gloom of her temporary room.  The little pest could be hiding anywhere, and she had no means of finding it, or even properly defending herself without creating a racket and waking up everyone on the floor.  Still, she couldn’t just wait for it to attack her during the night.  She needed help, but who?  And how?  Her cellphone was smashed to bits on the sidewalk below, and she couldn’t risk Serge or one of the other servants finding the guardian spirit of a Miraculous…

‘The Miraculous!’

Chloe got out of bed as stealthily as she could and made her way over to her purse.  Chat Noir and Ladybug were supposed to be able to call each other with their weapons.  Maybe she could use the Miraculous he had given her to contact Adrien so he could come over and deal with the little monster he had given her.  It was a slim chance admittedly, but it was the only chance she had.

She tiptoed over to the desk where Serge had left her things.  Her nerves were nearly shot, but she kept on high alert, her every sense straining to detect even the slightest hint of movement.  Her imagination kept taunting her with images of the Kwami waiting to lunge out from the shadows to attack her ankles.  Reaching her target, she quickly snapped open the five-hundred-dollar handbag and pulled out the unassuming looking wooden box.  It looked remarkably innocent, especially since it was the source of the utter fiasco her quiet evening had turned into.  She opened it to grab the comb inside, but nearly dropped it as she was blinded by a sudden flare of bright golden light.  When she could see again, the Kwami was hovering in front of her, blinking and swaying slightly. 

“What?  Where are We?”  The Kwami shook its’ head and nearly fell out of the air.  Once it got its’ bearings it noticed Chloe standing in the gloom.  “Oh!  You must be our new…  Oh, it’s you again.” 

The Kwami glared at her and Chloe gulped.  The book was across the room, so she knew she’d best choose her words very carefully, else her face be used as a pin cushion again.  Taking a deep breath, she started to set the box down on the desk so it wouldn’t distract her and addressed the Kwami as politely as possible.

“Okay, look.  I think we may have got off on the wrong-“

“Stop!”

Chloe jumped and froze.  The Kwami was staring at the box in her hands as if it’s life depended on it.  Absentmindedly, she had nearly closed it while setting it down.  Sensing a vulnerability, Chloe opened the jewelry box all the way and watched as the Kwami relaxed slightly.  Then she slowly started to close it again and saw it worriedly tense up and look anxiously from Chloe to the box. 

“You need this to stay open, don’t you?”  She asked.  The Kwami’s silent glare was all the answer she needed.  “This box turns off the miraculous, doesn’t it?  Or like, blocks the signal or something so you can’t…  project from it?  Like putting a cellphone in a led safe!  I’m right aren’t I?”   Again, the Kwami only glared in response.  Chloe smiled in triumph.  She had the power now, and it felt good. 

The temptation to just snap the box shut so she could sleep undisturbed for the rest of the night was strong, but she knew that the threat of punishment was sometimes more advantageous in the long run than a direct show of force.

“Alright, here’s the deal.  You stop stinging and spitting insults at me and do what I say, and I let you stay awake and bask in the life of luxury with me, alright?” 

The Kwami grumbled under its breath, but nodded obediently. 

“We have no choice in the matter.  If you truly are our chosen, then we must do as you wish, no matter how… distasteful We find it.”

“Yeah, well, I’m still not really sold on this whole ‘chosen’ thing,” Chloe said, more to herself than to the Kwami.  The Kwami still perked up however, somehow looking both hopeful and offended at the same time. 

“What do you mean you are not ‘sold’ on bearing our miraculous?  It is an honor any would gladly give their left eye for!”

“Keep it down!”  Chloe hissed, glancing over at the door.  “Do you want to wake up the whole hotel?” 

“Hotel…”the Kwami repeated.  “We are visiting some foreign land then?”

“No, I live here,” Chloe explained, rubbing the bridge of her nose.  “Look, I live in the greatest hotel in France, you trashed my penthouse so I’m staying in a commoner’s room for the night.  My dad is the Mayor of Paris, my best friend is Chat Noir, and he’s the one that gave you to me.  He and Ladybug have been fighting Hawkmoth and his Akumas for like, two years now, and I guess they need more help now or something.  Anyway, Chat thinks I’m the girl for the job, but I wasn’t supposed to open your box until tomorrow after school when he was going to train me.  Right now, I’m tired, I’m sore and I’d really like to get some sleep.  So, how about we just forget about all the fighting and yelling until tomorrow, okay?”

The Kwami seemed to be dazed again by Chloe’s quick and dirty summary of events.  Chloe let it have a few seconds more to process the information until the pain in her back and lower extremities became too much, and she turned to hobble back to bed.  

“Wait!”

“Oh, what now?”  Chloe turned again and looked back at the Kwami impatiently.  

“You… We never made proper introductions.  Also, you will have to put on the Miraculous before We will recognize you as our new master.”  The Kwami added, closing its eyes and putting on that infuriating air of superiority again and turning its’ nose up at her.  Well, it didn’t have a nose that Chloe could see, but still. 

Chloe sighed, and decided the quickest way to bed would be to just give it what it wanted. 

“Fine.” 

With some difficulty due to her swollen finger, Chloe finally took the golden comb out of the box and put the box back into her purse.  After a few seconds of trying to figure out how to wear the comb fashionably, she gave up and pulled her loose hair into its usual ponytail and used the comb to hold it in place.

“Happy?”  She asked, gesturing at the hastily made and slightly lopsided ponytail.   The Kwami looked her over unimpressed.

“It will have to do for now, We suppose…”

“Good.”  Chloe limped over to the Kwami and stuck out her hand.  “Chloe Bourgeois, Mayor’s daughter.”

The Kwami just looked at her.

“…Bourgeois?”

“Yes.”

“Your name is Bourgeois?”

Chloe could feel her anger beginning to rise again as she fought to keep her hand held out in friendly greeting.

“Yes,” she answered tartly. 

“As in… the middleclass?”

“It’s an old name,” she said through gritted teeth. 

The Kwami just continued to stare blankly at her until it shifted its gaze up to the roof.

“…What did We do to deserve this humiliation?” 

“Oh, come on!”  Chloe withdrew her hand and felt ready to burst into tears of frustration right there.  “It doesn’t matter what the name means, okay?  My family has been the head of Paris for more than two decades!”

The Kwami simply scoffed at her. 

“No doubt thanks to some less than ethical political moves, if your attitude is anything to go by.”

Chloe was about to argue back, but the words died on her tongue.

“…You know, you’re right,” she admitted, looking down at the floor.  “That’s exactly how we got here.”

The Kwami gaped at her in horror, but Chloe kept her gaze elsewhere and continued somberly.    

“My father has used nearly every dirty trick in the book short of actual murder to keep himself in office.  He’s used blackmail, slander, bribery, anything it took to destroy his opponents image and keep himself looking completely clean.  But you want to know something else?  He has no idea that the biggest scandal in Paris is sitting right under his nose.”

The Kwami jumped a little in midair as Chloe suddenly looked up at it with an angry fire burning in her eyes. 

“He has no idea his precious only daughter loves girls more than Jagged Stone loves skin tight leather, and I’ve had to keep that secret from him and everyone else in Paris all my life!  Then Adrien and his smelly cat thing show up and say, ‘hey if you want to help fight super villains we’ll give you some cool superpowers so you can flirt with cute girls without anyone knowing it’s you!’  Only it turns out that the combee of my miraculous is a stab happy little monster with an ego bigger than its own fat head, so I don’t know if I’m ever going to get that chance to actually be me for once in my life!” 

Chloe managed to hold her furious glare at the baffled looking Kwami for all of three seconds until physical pain and emotional exhaustion overtook her again.  She nearly collapsed and had to reach out to grasp the desk for support.  The Kwami simply hovered silently in the air and watched as Chloe slowly gathered what remained of her strength. 

After nearly a minute, Chloe limped her way back to the bed and climbed in.  She barely noticed as the Kwami followed her silently and settled on top of the history book still sitting on the bedside table.  Chloe pulled the now cold blankets over herself and let her head hit the silk covered pillow with a dull thump.  She let out a long breath as she tried to relax into the soft mattress.  She was so close to finally getting some rest, when the Kwami loudly cleared its’ throat next to her. 

“We… We are willing to acknowledge that we have both been… not at our best tonight,” it said slowly.  Chloe opened one eye and gave it a tired glare as she made a show of snuggling down deeper into the blankets.  The Kwami seemed not to notice and continued. 

“We…  We would not be opposed to making a second attempt at first impressions.  When we are both in a better state of mind of course.”   

Chloe sighed and reached to switch off the light in an attempt to end the conversation, but hesitated when she noticed the history book the Kwami was perched on.  Maybe if she gave it something to do it would leave her alone. 

“Here,” she said, carefully shooing the Kwami off the book and opening it for it.   “You can read this and get caught up on some of the history you missed while I get some sleep.” 

The Kwami hesitantly approached the book.  When it was sure Chloe wasn’t going to try to trap it inside again, it began flipping through the table of contents.  Once it seemed settled in, Chloe settled back into bed with her back to the light. 

“Just keep it down, okay?” she asked over her shoulder.  The Kwami gave no response that she could hear, but she took that as a yes.

Just before she slipped off to sleep, she realized she still had one important question nagging in the back of her mind. 

“Hey, what’s your name anyway?”

The Kwami didn’t answer. 

“Are you still there?”  Chloe asked, making the mistake of twisting around to look over at the table.  Her body screamed in protest and she quickly flopped back to her original position.  The Kwami was still there, but it was looking off into space again. 

“What?  Yes, yes We are still here.”  It answered, shaking its’ head.  “It has just been several centuries and We…”  It thought for a long moment until its eyes lit up in recognition. 

“Pollen!  Our name is Pollen.  We are the Kwami of…” Its’ voice trailed off again.

Chloe waited for it to finish for a few more seconds before giving up and trying to get comfortable again. 

“Whatever, Pollen it is.”  She yawned again and pulled the sheets over her head.  “Goodnight, Pollen.”

Pollen didn’t hear her.  They were too busy staring at a chapter in the history book labeled:

“1800’s Century Political Corruption and “Le Piquer Royale”: The Queen of Thieves”

Chapter Text

In which Pollen meets the 21^st century, there is a lot of yelling, and repressed homosexuality overrides self-preservation.

“…loe?  Chloe?  Chloe?” 

Chloe woke up with a start.  Someone was calling her name and shaking her shoulder.  She tried to move but her whole body felt sluggish.  Every part of her felt uncomfortably cold and heavy.  Her legs felt like they were tied together, and while she wanted to open her eyes, only one of them seemed to be working properly.  When she did manage to will it open, she was blinded by a bright light overhead.  Squinting, she could just make out a dark shadow looming over her.  She clumsily tried to bat it away with her numbed and heavy arms. 

“Whoa, calm down its only me,” the shadow said.  She blinked a few times and the face of Adrien Agreste swam into view. 

“Adrien?  What happened?  Where am…”  She looked around and recognized the school nurse’s office. She looked down and saw the bandages partially mummifying her and holding the now melted icepacks to her shivering body. 

“You’ve been in here all morning.  It’s already time for lunch,” Adrien explained, helping her to sit up.  “I came to check on you and passed the nurse on her way out.  She said you were sleeping, and to wake you at my own risk.  Looks like you were pretty tired.” 

“Get this stuff off me,” Chloe ordered, already trying to rip off the bandages holding the icepack over her eye.

“I don’t know, Chloe.  Maybe you should leave that stuff on?  I mean if the nurse thought it was necessary-“ 

He stopped when he saw the one-eyed glare Chloe was giving him and quickly began working on the bandages wound about her legs. 

 Once Chloe was unwrapped, she began stretching out and rubbing her limbs in an attempt to get the feeling back in them. 

“I swear I’m going to sue this whole school if I get frostbite,” she muttered, rubbing her legs furiously and grimacing at the wet patches the ice packs had left.  “And if these pants are ruined…”

“I’d think you’d be more concerned with your eye,” Adrien commented.  “It still looks pretty bad.  What did you do last night?  You were fine when I left you.”

Chloe glared at her purse. 

“The little gift you gave me got opened early by accident.  Turns out our royal majesty thinks they’re too good to be partnered with a mere mayor’s daughter.”

“A corrupt mayor’s daughter,” Pollen called from inside the purse.

 A second later they flew out through the white leather lining as if it were made of smoke.  Chloe’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor. 

“You?  How?  Since when could you do that!?” she demanded, pointing at the smugly smiling Pollen. 

“Oh, we Kwami’s are capable of much you humans would consider ‘impossible.’  When we’re properly fed that is,” Pollen added, under their breath.  “Speaking of which, you must be Plagg’s chosen.  I can smell that horrible cheese on you from here.  You have my deepest sympathies.” 

Plagg flew out from Adrien’s shirt a second later. 

“Pollen.”  He greeted the other Kwami friendly enough, though there was a slight edge to his voice.  “Haven’t seen you for a couple of centuries.  Were you asleep so long you forgot that were not supposed to hurt our own masters?”

Pollen at least had the grace to look ashamed. 

“It was purely in self-defense,” they argued, crossing their little arms and giving that wretched air of superiority Chloe hated so much. 

“Oh yeah,” Plagg mockingly agreed, flying up to Chloe and looking her over.  “I can see why the Kwami of Leadership would need to defend themself against the mean, scawy teenage girl.”

Chloe smiled as she saw the fluff on Pollens chest begin to swell up with indignation. 

“I’ll have you know, We were at a grievous disadvantage against that barbarian!” they exclaimed, gesturing at Chloe.  “We awoke without any idea of where We were, or what year it was, and We were extremely weak!  We were captured in some insidious trap for hours until We were viciously attacked, completely unprovoked We might add, by that ruffian over there!”

“They got stuck in a box of tissues because they thought it was a bed, and I threw a pillow at it when it started flying around,” Chloe summarized. 

Adrien fought to keep down his smile while Plagg openly laughed at Pollen, who’s fluff was threatening to swallow the lower half of their face. 

“To be fair,” Adrien said, “Plagg tried eating half my room when he first woke up.”

“Did he also spend five minutes hiding under a tea cup from the TV?” Chloe asked. 

“How were We supposed to know that the small man in that window could not see us!?”

Plagg laughed even harder and rolled onto his back in midair, tiny tears forming in his eyes. 

“And let’s not forget the little adventure you had with my makeup case this morning…”

“You are most fortunate We discovered how toxic that powder was before you put it on your face!  You owe your life to Us!”

Chloe rolled her eyes as Plagg continued to laugh and kicked his feet as he tried to remain hovering.  Pollen looked like they were about to explode in a cloud of angry white fluff, so Chloe gave them a smug smile. 

“Well, as fascinating as this conversation is, I’m sure you and Plagg have loads to catch up on,” Adrien said quickly.  “Why don’t you two go somewhere else for a bit while I have a word with Chloe?”

Pollen scoffed and turned their nose up at Adrien, but Plagg regained some control over himself (eventually,) and led Pollen through the thin sheet separating the beds, wiping his eyes as they went.  When they were gone Adrien turned back to Chloe. 

“Chloe, I am so sorry.  I had no idea he, er, she,”

“They, prefer the royal ‘We,” Chloe said, striking her own regal speaking pose.  “Apparently, that little bug thinks they’re the literal embodiment of royalty.  Everybody and everything is beneath them.  I let them read my history book last night instead of just sealing them back in their box, and the ungrateful brat kept waking me up to ask where some missing pages were!  And again to ask if I had the book in Latin, because they liked the shape of the letters more!”

“Huh,” was all Adrien could think to say. 

Chloe just groaned and continued. 

“I swear, nothing is worth this.  I ordered some extra honey with my breakfast this morning, ‘cause I figured ‘hey, bees like honey’ right?  You know what they did?  They called me a racist and chewed me out for nearly fifteen minutes until I ordered them some tea.  Tea, Adrian!  How was I supposed to know that thing ran exclusively on tea?”

“Better than smelly cheese,” Adrien muttered.

“I just…” 

Chloe picked up a pillow and screamed into it.  Adrien cautiously rubbed small circles on her back as she continued to scream for a surprisingly long time.  When she was done, she sat back up and handed the pillow to Adrien.  Adrien took the pillow uncertainly and set it down next to him.  Chloe took a deep breath and checked her hair. 

“I’m a bit stressed out, Adrien,” she said finally. 

“I… wouldn’t have guessed.” 

She shot him an unamused look. 

Then she closed her eyes and sighed.  She still looked tired, but at least the bags under her eyes had disappeared.  Well, from one of them anyway. 

She reached up and pulled out the comb, undoing her ponytail and letting her hair fall loose against her back. 

“I don’t think I’m supposed to have this,” she confided, looking down at the comb as she held it in her open hand.  “Everything went to hell the moment I touched it.  I’m not supposed to have a miraculous.  Even the kayami of the thing thinks so.”

Adrien reached over and closed her hand around the miraculous.  She looked up and saw him smiling softly at her. 

“It’s pronounced ‘Kwami,” he said, gently.  “And I wouldn’t worry too much.  I didn’t really get along with Plagg at first either.”

“Oh?  I don’t remember you ever showing up with one of these.” 

Chloe pointed to her face and Adrien winced. 

“Well… No.  And I’m super sorry, Chloe.  I had no idea Kwami’s could hurt people like that.”

Chloe scoffed. 

“I told you, the black eye is from falling through my closet door.  You should have seen the bee stings I was covered in last night, though...”

“Bee stings?” Adrien repeated, completely shocked.

Chloe just waved him away dismissively. 

“I’m fine,” she said again.  “I’m just sleeping with a flyswatter under my pillow tonight.”

When he didn’t say anything, she glanced back at him and felt her chest lurch at the big watery green eyes looking back at her. 

“I didn’t mean for you to…  I’m so sorry I…  I didn’t mean…”

Chloe sighed and rolled her eyes, pulling him into a hug and patting his back before he started bawling his eyes out with guilt.  He held on to her and tried to fight back his tears. 

“I told you, it’s all right,” she repeated, patting his back and silently hoping he didn’t get any snot on her shirt.  “It’s my fault for opening the box.  I should have waited till today like you said too.  It’s okay…  you big baby.” 

“I’m a hero of Paris,” he said back through a stuffy nose.  He quickly pulled back and started to wipe his eyes indignantly.  Chloe handed him the box of commoner’s tissues next to her and he took a few quickly. 

“How did you ever get by without me?” Chloe wondered aloud as Adrian blew his nose. 

“Very stoically,” he snapped.   

Then he added,

“…and lots of cartoons.” 

“Ah,” Chloe acknowledged, nodding her head.  “That explains a lot actually.” 

Before Adrien could ask what she meant by that, Plagg called to them from the other room. 

“Uh, Kids?  I think you better come see this.”

Adrien pulled back the curtain and they saw Plagg and Pollen hovering in front of a mounted television near the nurse’s desk.  It was tuned in to the local news, which was showing a scene of chaos as a swarm of oddly shaped… somethings were rampaging their way through the nearby park. 

“I didn’t do it this time,” Chloe said immediately.   

Adrien just rolled his eyes and turned up the volume on the TV.

“This is Reporter Nadja Charmack: TVi, live on the scene at Palace De Vogses where the newest Akuma attack is in progress.  Eye witnesses have so far been unable to identify the Akuma’s target, or identity due to-AAAAAAAAA!“

Award winning Reporter Nadja Carmack suddenly screamed and the camera whipped around to show her beating back what must have been some of the Akuma’s minions with her microphone.  They didn’t look human.  Some of them may have looked vaguely humanlike, but their bodies were far to flat looking, and their maniacal faces and clothes seemed to have been drawn onto them with some sort of thick ink.  Most of them were just various shapes with stick figure limbs poking out, and faces pulled out of a demented children’s drawing.  One looked like a flat circle wielding a wooden spoon.  Another like a gibbering crescent waving a spatula in the air like a sword, and there were several long, rounded beasties running around on all fours that were constantly frothing at the mouth.  They almost looked like…

“Are… are those monstrous pastries?” Pollen asked, flying up to closely examine the screen.

“Sure looks like it,” Adrien agreed. 

Chloe scoffed. 

“A bit out of season for gingerbread men though, don’t you think?” she asked.

No sooner had she spoken, then the cameraman was overpowered by a particularly deranged looking three foot gingerbread man, complete with swirls for eyes drawn on with animatedly spinning icing.  The cameraman gave a cry of surprise, and after a very quick zoom in on the gingerbread man’s sugary pointed teeth, the live feed went dead.  The screen was filled with static for a moment before the “technical difficulties” sign went up.  The screen switched cameras to the news anchor as he was complaining about the coffee in his mug having no cream.   

“Well, looks like lunch will have to wait till after we finish off dessert,” Adrien said, switching off the TV as the anchor realized he was on air. 

Adrien turned and gave Chloe his best Chat Noir smirk.  Chloe rolled her eyes at him. 

“Shouldn’t you be doing your little dance already?”

Adrien stepped back and gave Chloe a little bow with a sweep of his hand. 

“Ladies first.” 

Chloe blinked in surprise.

“Wait you… You want me to go out there and fight those things?”

“What?” Pollen asked, turning back around from their attempts at trying to find where the small man in the window had gone.

“Well, not by yourself,” Adrien assured Chloe.  “Ladybug and I will be right there with you.  We’ll handle the Akuma, you can focus on dealing with the minions. 

“Adrien, do I really look like I’m ready to get into a fight with a bunch of evil edibles?”  

Chloe gestured to her black eye again. 

“Come on kid, small annoying pests should be your specialty by now,” Plagg countered.

“What was that?”  Pollen gave him a dangerous look. 

“It’ll be easy, Chloe.  Even if you get hit, you’ll hardly feel a thing under your suit.  I’ve been thrown into a wall before, and it didn’t leave a scratch on me,” Adrien boasted.     

Plagg wilted a bit and added,

“Yeah, I’d recommend you try not to do that though…”

Chloe shook her head in disbelief.    

“You can’t seriously expect me to go up against a real Akuma my first time!”

“Why not?  I did!” Adrien replied with a smile.

“Yeah, and I remember exactly how well that went!” Chloe argued, rolling her eyes. 

Adrien rubbed his neck uncomfortably, but Plagg wasn’t dissuaded so easily. 

“Exactly,” he said, flying around to hover close to Chloe’s shoulder.  “So maybe this time, you’ll be the one that rescues the pretty girl from certain death.” 

Chloe’s eyes lit up like Sapphic little stars. 

Seeing this, Pollen immediately flew to her other shoulder and began trying to talk sense into her. 

“What?  No, no, no.  You are much to injured to go fighting the forces of evil today.  Besides We… We have not had any sustenance since this morning!  We could not possibly hold a transformation for longer than a few seconds at most.”

“Don’t listen to that royal stick in the mud,” Plagg practically purred in her ear.  “They’ve got more than enough juice.  You should be thinking about what it’ll be like to be in Ladybug's shoes for once.  How it’ll feel to sweep your damsel in distress off her feet and fly her away to safety.  Feel her snuggled safe in your arms as she looks up at you like you’re her hero.  Maybe she’ll even want to show you how appreciative she really is.” 

“You… You can’t seriously be listening to this smelly little varmint!?”

But Chloe was listening.  In fact, she was staring down a the miraculous she was holding and nearly drooling over it.  She turned to Pollen with a doofy smile on her face.

“W-well I mean, I’m sure we can handle a couple of overgrown cupcakes, right?” 

Chloe smiled at them while she giggled and played with her hair.  Pollen stared at her.  Plagg gave them a smug grin and flew back to Adrien.  Adrien gave him an impressed, but questioning look.

“What?” Plagg asked with poorly feigned innocence. 

Adrien just shook his head and turned back to Chloe.  She still looked a little dreamy over the potential possibilities Plagg had laid out for her.  Adrien cleared his throat and she snapped out of her daydreaming.  She shook her head, and he tried not to notice the deep blush that covered most of her face.   

“Right, well.  Uh…” 

She cleared her own throat and pulled her hair back into a ponytail.  Stepping over to a mirror to check how it looked, she stuck the comb back in and turned around to face the group.  She took a deep breath, and exhaled quickly. 

“Okay, let’s do this.”

She smiled at them.  A little nervously, but Adrien and Plagg reassured them with smiles of their own. 

Pollen however was still hovering in midair, and still staring at the spot where Chloe’s head had been. 

“Um… Pollen?  Pollen?” 

They gave no sign that they had heard her.  Chloe looked from them to the other two who both shrugged unhelpfully.  She approached Pollen carefully and waved a hand in front of them.  Pollen still gave no sign of awareness, so Chloe tried snapping her fingers directly in front of their face.  The Kwami finally seemed to regain their senses, and shook their head as if coming out of a trance.  Just like every other time they had become lost in their own world, Pollen looked around the room as though not sure where they were until they saw Chloe.  Their eyes narrowed angrily at the sight of her.

“What?  Why are you always staring at us like that?  We do not like it, it makes us feel very uncomfortable.”

“Are you… feeling okay?” Chloe asked carefully. 

Pollen scoffed and turned their nose up at her again. 

“We are as fine as We can be with a gangly ape like you as our master.”

“Why you little-”

“Whoa, hey!”  Adrien quickly moved himself between the two of them, nearly having to physically hold Chloe back from attacking what was supposed to have been her partner.  “How about we all just take it down a notch, okay?”

Chloe fumed and ground her teeth as she looked from Pollen to Adrien. 

“You see what they’re like?  You see what that thing is like?” she demanded, pointing furiously at Pollen. 

Adrien did his best to calm her down, though he shot Pollen an angry look showing he completely agreed with her.  Pollen just scoffed and turned their nose up at him too. 

“Shouldn’t you be seeing to that Akuma, Chat Noir?”

Adrien didn’t much care for the way Pollen said his name, but they had a point.  They couldn’t afford to waste time fighting like this.  Ladybug was probably already on her way, and while he was sure she’d be okay on her own for a little while, she couldn’t take down an Akuma with that many minions on her own.  He looked desperately at Plagg for help.  He shrugged. 

“Ehe, I’m sure Ladybug can take care of it.”

Adrien briefly considered just handing Chloe a nearby clipboard and getting one for himself. 

“Errr, we don’t have time for this!” Chloe roared. 

With a grunt of anger, she pushed Adrien away, causing him to topple safely onto the bed behind him, and stormed over to Pollen.  The Kwami seemed momentarily unable to decide between fight or flight, and Chloe took advantage of their indecision to grab them sharply by the fluff on their chest with her index finger and thumb.  She locked eyes with her trapped prey, and Pollen was so taken aback by the raw fury that burned in them, they forgot to scoff. 

“Start talking,” Chloe growled down at them.  “Or I will feed you to an industrial grade food processor.”  

Pollen had no idea what an “industrial grade food processor” was, but some threats simply transcended a minor generational gap like two hundred years. 

“V-very well!” Pollen conceded, attempting to wriggle free.  Though certainly not because they were the least bit intimidated.  “Just unhand us already!”

Chloe let go and Pollen flew back several feet into the wall.  Chloe put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot impatiently as Pollen muttered to themself and tried to fix the tuft of fluff she had matted together.  Adrien remained where he had landed on the bed, not daring to move and looking from Chloe to Plagg, who was nonchalantly drifting behind a curtain to get out of sight. 

Chloe’s patience was at its’ end. 

“Well?”

“Just a moment!” Pollen snapped back.  They finished preening themself to a semi-passable state, then turned to glare back at Chloe. 

“As We have no means of preventing you, very well.  We shall now begin our lesson on the art that is wielding our miraculous.” 

“Come on, make it snappy!” Chloe demanded, snapping her own fingers at Pollen.  “We don’t have all day here.”

Pollen looked like they were about to say something, but stopped and only glared at Chloe for a moment instead.  Then they continued. 

“The first step to using a miraculous, is to wear it,” Pollen emphasized. 

Chloe turned her head and indicated the comb holding her ponytail in place. 

“Already wearing it, genius.  Next?” 

Pollen looked momentarily confused before quickly putting their nose in the air again. 

“Yes… Well.  Indeed you are.”  They gave a little cough and continued.  “Each miraculous is activated by a particular phrase decided upon by the Kwami.  You will need to repeat this phrase in order to let us fuse with the miraculous and grant you your abilities.” 

Chloe closed her eyes and waved her hand dismissively. 

“Yeah yeah, I do a little dance and strike a dramatic pose at the end.  I saw all this last night when Chat Noir did it.  Just tell me what my catch phrase is already.”

“Your… Your what?”

“What do I say to transform!?” Chloe yelled.

“Do not rush us!” Pollen screamed back.  “Once a Kwami is fused with its’ miraculous they cannot communicate with their barer directly.  You will be completely on your own once We have been absorbed, so you had best listen closely and stop interrupting!”

“They actually have a point, Chloe.”

Chloe turned and rounded on Adrien, who froze as he was starting to sit up on the bed.  She closed her eyes and let out an aggravated sigh, not wanting to take out her anger on him.

Adrien watched her closely for a second before daring to continue getting up. 

“I’m just speaking from experience here.  I waisted my first Cataclysm because I transformed before Plagg had explained everything.  At least hear what your powers are before we head out.” 

“Thank you, young man.”  Pollen nodded gratefully towards Adrien.   

“Alright fine!” 

Chloe threw up her hands and sat down on the edge of the other bed in a huff.  Pollen smiled at the sight. 

“Now as We were saying, in addition to the more specific abilities We grant you, using a miraculous will also offer you some additional advantages,” they told her, but Chloe cut them off again.

“I’ll have enhanced speed, strength, endurance, and coordination.  The suit will protect me from any minor injuries, even on my face where it looks like bare skin.  My weapon will have multiple uses and will obey my commands perfectly unless it’s knocked away from me.  I activate my superpower by saying its’ name, and once I use it I’ll only have about five minutes left of my transformation.  The miraculous will count down to show me how long I have left.”

Everyone stared at Chloe as she finished.  When she saw the stunned look Pollen was giving her she smugly added,

“What?  I think I’ve been rescued enough times to know how it works.”

“True,” Adrien agreed.  “But I also recognize most of that from Alya’s ‘Miraculous Analysis’ post on the Ladyblog.” 

Chloe reddened again. 

“Cesaire got most of that from her interview with me anyway!” 

“Mhmm.”

“Oh what-ever.”  Chloe crossed her arms again and focused back on Pollen to avoid looking at the knowing smirk Adrien was giving her.  “So what’s my superpower?” 

Pollen looked up, startled before they could drift off again. 

“What?  Oh, your power?  Yes.  Uhm.  Give us a moment…”

Chloe rolled her eyes. 

“Come on hurry up already!”

“I told you not to interrupt!” Pollen snapped.  “Now you’ve gotten us all flustered.”

Chloe buried her face in her hands and groaned.  Adrien rubbed her back and looked pleadingly over to Plagg. 

Plagg groaned too and rolled his eyes.  

“Come on.  The kid’s right, we gotta go.”

“We are aware,” they snapped. 

Pollen’s face was contorted with concentration.   Plagg straightened up and watched them with new interest. 

“Wait…  do you… Do you actually not remember how to use your own superpower?”

“Of course We remember, you smelly rat!  We just… It has been a while and We….”

Chloe looked up at Pollen, and then back to Adrian and Plagg.    

“Pollen?” She asked, impatiently.

“We know…” they grumbled.

“Are you seriously telling me you’ve been so busy stuffing your face with tee, and getting scared by makeup kits you haven’t even tried to remember how to be a superhero!” 

“We have been thinking of little else!” they roared back.

Chloe stood up to look the Kwami eye to eye.  Adrien tried to get her to sit down again but she shook him off. 

“So what have you remembered?”

Pollen went silent and turned to look at a blank wall.”

“Pollen!”

“We are the Kwami of Leadership, and We enjoy tea..”

Chloe rolled her eyes. 

“Great.  What about how to use your superpower?”

“…We would appear to be having some difficulty recalling the… exact phrasing, at this moment.” 

Chloe slapped a hand to her face and groaned.  Adrien made to say something but she held up a hand.  Chloe took a deep, calming breath and tried to relax.

“Fine.  Let’s… work backwards then, maybe it’ll help you remember.”

“Very well,” Pollen said flatly, still keeping their eyes on the wall.

“Okay, well, what does it do?”

“What does what do?” Pollen asked, turning a little further away from Chloe... 

“Your superpower,” Chloe repeated, feeling a vain in her head beginning to throb.  “What does it do?”

“Something… super.  And powerful.” 

“…Pollen, look at me.”

The Kwami turned slowly in midair to face her.  Their face was a mask of perfect neutrality, though their antenna seemed to be trying to curl in on themselves.   Chloe kept her own expression neutral as well.

“Do you remember what your superpower is?”

“Not at all.”

“…”

A pin dropping to the floor would have echoed like a clap of thunder in the silence that followed. 

Chapter Text

In which Chloe sits in time out, Pollen goes for a spin, and foreshadowing is a real pain.  

Chloe sat on the bed facing the wall and fuming.  Adrien had put her there after she had nearly blown a blood vessel glaring at her less than functional Kwami.  Pollen was talking with Plagg and Adrien behind her, while she “cooled down” with a small cup of water Adrien had given her. 

She glared down at her reflection in the cheap paper cup of tap water.  Since she had been born, everything in her life had been brand new and top of the line.  She had been raised with a silver spoon in her mouth and a roll she was literally born to play.  Now she finally had a chance to go off script, and that chance came in the form of a pre-used piece of junk with no instruction manual.  She knew there was a word or phrase for that sort of thing.  Irony?  Poetic Justice?  Pain in the ass, that was it.  

She grimaced at the soggy cup before draining it down in one gulp, just so she wouldn’t have to see her own miserable face anymore.  She tried not to taste the commoners water as it went down.  At least it was cold.  She crumpled the cup into a damp ball and tossed it at the waist bin across the room, and watched as it fell several feet short and to the left.   

‘…Whatever.’

She shook her head and turned her attention to the hushed conversation behind her. 

“So you don’t remember anything?” Adrien asked.

“We remember that we have a grave dislike for being asked foolish questions,” Pollen snapped.  “Our memory is perfect.  It is just a tad… hazy when it comes to anything regarding transformation.” 

Chloe was glad to hear that Pollen sounded extremely uncomfortable.  The little pest had better feel bad about not knowing how to do its’ job.  If she had a servant that didn’t remember to bow to her when she walked in the room she’d have them fired on the spot.  Unless it was Serge.  Serge didn’t need to bow to anyone as far as she was concerned.

Plagg groaned behind her.  Adrien shushed him and tried again.

“Look we really don’t have time for all this.  Can you at least remember the words to transform?”

The silence that followed was not promising. 

Plagg groaned again and Chloe wanted to smash her head against the wall in front of her, but her poor lovely face had already been disfigured enough. 

Useless.  Her miraculous was completely useless.  She might as well just throw it at the Akumas for all the good it would do now.  Why did this sort of thing always seem to happen to her? 

Behind her, Pollen was continuing to argue with Plagg while Adrian tried to keep things from escalating further.

“Seriously, I can get being a little forgetful at first after two centuries, but you’ve been awake for how long now?” Plagg asked.

“Well perhaps it would all come back to us more quickly if someone hadn’t spent an entire night bashing us over the head with incomplete historical twaddle!” Pollen yelled back, purposefully turning to look over their shoulder at Chloe as they did so. 

“Oh give me a break,” Plagg said, rolling his eyes. 

But Chloe didn’t hear him.  Her blood felt like it had just turned to ice. 

“It’s my fault…” 

“Did you say something, Chloe?”  Adrien asked, trying to hold back Pollen from attempting to stab Plagg with their rear end. 

“It’s my fault,” she repeated, turning around to look at them. 

They were all taken aback by how guilty and terrified she looked. 

“I broke my miraculous!” 

Plagg sighed and shook his head. 

“Kid, Kwamies are made of pure energy.  You couldn’t hurt us with an old-“

“It’s my fault!” Chloe almost screamed.  “It’s always my fault!  I screwed up my only chance because I freaked out and hurt someone, again!” 

She clutched the sides of her head and stared at her feet.

“Chloe, I’m pretty sure you were actually justified this time,” Adrien said, shooting Pollen an angry look. 

Chloe wasn’t listening.  She stood up from the bed and began pacing in front of them and repeating.

“I broke the Coyami, I broke the Coyami, I broke the Coyami,” 

“Kwami,” Pollen hesitantly corrected. 

“Whatever!” 

Pollen winced as Chloe rounded on them. 

“The point is I’m a monster.  I hurt everybody that I come in contact with, and most of the time I am totally fine with it!” 

“Chloe, you need to calm dow-“

“No Adrien!  No!  I said it last night.  I am not a nice person.  I am a horrible monster who should never be given a miraculous!”  She turned away from them and threw her hands in the air.  “I’ve hurt so many people they may as well Crown Me queen of the Akumas!”

Amidst Chloe’s angry ranting, her miraculous suddenly flashed and Pollen’s eyes lit up. 

“Wait, that was iiiiiiiiii-“

Their words became a confused scream as they were suddenly pulled towards Chloe as if sucked in by an invisible vacuum cleaner.  Chloe had her back to them, and when she turned around to see what the noise was about, she saw the tiny creature come screaming straight at her head!  Naturally, she screamed too, but after their fight last night she also had the sense to duck.  It did little good though, as Pollen just barely overshot her before veering sharply to the left and began spiraling towards Chloe’s head as if caught in a whirlpool.  Still screaming the whole way. 

The screaming only stopped when Pollen disappeared into the miraculous in another flash of magic, and the comb sprouted two long black antennae.  There was one brief second of silence and stillness, and then Chloe’s body jerked up violently.  She practically threw herself into a standing position with her limbs out at her sides, and almost seemed to be hovering above the ground, as if being abducted by a U.F.O.  The center of her face exploded with blinding yellow light, and golden energy began washing over her body as she was jerked this way and that in a clumsy looking spinning dance, as if she were a beautiful puppet on invisible strings, being controlled by a child that thought she was a sock monkey.   

In the span of only a few seconds, Chloe Bourgeois had disappeared from the room, and in her place stood a beautiful and mysterious stranger. 

“I think she said the magic words,” Plagg commented.

“Chloe…” Adrien gasped.  “That was amazing!  How did you?  I mean- “

Adrian ran his hand threw his hair as he looked her up and down.  He had to forcibly remind himself that he was still looking at Chloe.  Somehow his mind just didn’t want to associate the two faces. 

“I can’t believe it.  I mean, I knew you could do it, but…  Wow, you look incredible!  How do you feel?”

“…Ow…” Chloe squeaked. 

She was holding herself completely still, as if afraid to move a muscle for fear she would suddenly start jerking around again.  She seemed to be holding her breath too, as if afraid even breathing might hurt. 

“…Are you okay?”

Chloe’s expression changed from one of fear and pain, to one of someone who was trying very hard to stretch out the last of their patience.  She forced herself to slowly let out the breath she was holding and cautiously breathed in again.  When that seemed to work without causing further injury, she tried speaking in full sentences. 

“No Adrien.  I am not okay,” she said, very slowly.  “My body was just jerked around like a ragdoll, and every bruise feels like it was just rebruised with tiny little lacrosse sticks.”

She began to very slowly relax her arms. 

“…Oh.”  Adrien said, frowning at her.  “That’s… weird.”

“Ehe, the transformation process can be a little ruff the first couple times,” Plagg said, flying around to look the new Chloe over. 

“It wasn’t for me!” Adrien said. 

Plagg stopped and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. 

“Yeah, well…  you were really enthusiastic about it.” 

Chloe began slowly rolling her shoulders and very carefully moving the rest of her body around to stretch it out. 

“Okay…  Okay I think…”  She took a deep breath and let her shoulders loosen up.  “I think… I’m okay now.”

She looked down at herself and saw she was wearing a skintight suit similar to Ladybug’s, though the color and pattern was different.  She shuddered and swayed slightly.  Adrien rushed to her side to steady her. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

Chloe nodded. 

“Yeah, it’s just… kind of familiar…”

She frowned and unconsciously reached up to touch the mask on her face.    Adrien frowned too.

“…Close your eyes.”

She did as he asked, and he carefully walked her forward a few feet and turned her slightly,

“Now open them.”

She did, and gasped.  He had put her in front of the dirty old mirror she had checked her hair in earlier, only now it looked worthy enough to hang in the Louvre. 

“Is that… is that me?”

“The one and only,” Adrien assured her.  “No akumatized wannabe this time.  That’s the real you, Chloe.  Well, I guess you’re not Chloe anymore.  Any ideas on your new name?  I’m thinking something inspiring.  Something powerful.  Waspwoman!  No, too generic… Or how about BuzzKill!  No, you’d never get invited to parties.”

He continued to talk, but Chloe tuned him out, completely mesmerized by her own reflection.  She was wearing a flattering one-piece gold and black body suit, though its’ design made her look like she was wearing knee high boots, and long black gloves that went up past her elbows.  A broad black stripe ran over her chest, which she was pleased to see accentuated her bust nicely, while a few more smaller lines ran across her stomach and formed two shallow Vs.  Her mask was black, but her eyes were surrounded by gold eyeshadow that almost formed a second mask inside the first.  Strung across her waist was a circular satchel with a gold and black bulls eye design, and two strings with little yellow cones hanging off the top, but no zipper or clasp to open it.  She turned her head and saw that the bee comb still kept most of its original shape, though closer inspection showed that the outer teeth of the comb had curved around her ponytail and formed a nearly complete ring, presumably to help keep it from falling off while she moved around.  Also, it had sprouted two long flexible antennae that didn’t seem to do much aside from complete the look.  Though the look was good.

She had cosplayed as Ladybug more times than she could count, even been akumatized as her antithesis, but this… this was different.  There was no voice clouding her mind and controlling her emotions.  No feeling of sticky adhesive holding the mask to her face, or of spandex rubbing against her skin.  She wasn’t pretending to be anyone else.  She was herself.  She put her hand over her mouth as she felt tears beginning to form.  She was free.  Free to be whoever she wanted.  The reality of it was both terrifying and wonderful at the same time.  She looked into her own eyes and for the first time she could remember, she saw hope sparkling in them.

Then her back exploded with pain.

She gasped and fell forward as she felt the horrific impact push her off balance.  She thought she might have heard Adrien scream her name, but she couldn’t focus on anything else but the awful burning, ripping feeling of something forcing its’ way through her back and nearly burst out of her chest.  The pain was so overwhelming she couldn’t scream or move.  Her breath became caught in her throat, and her whole body seized up.  She knew her eyes were open, but the whole world had gone dark… 

And then it was gone.  Her body went completely limp as she hit the wall and crumpled sideways into a corner between it and a filing cabinet.  The impact forced some air out of her lungs, and she realized she had stopped breathing.  She tried to breathe in, and the air came back to her in a sudden rush that made her head spin.  Her vision started to return, and she could see Adrien and Plagg rushing over to her.

“Chloe!” 

“Kid!” 

Chloe held up a hand to show that she was conscious as she continued to gasp for breath.  They stopped so as to not crowd her.

“Are you okay?” Adrien asked. 

Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she recognized the tingly feeling of an adrenaline rush from her near-death escapes at the hands of an Akuma, but she couldn’t understand why it was happening.

“I’m…  I don’t know anymore,” she said from her place on the floor.  “What happened?”

“I don’t know, one second you were looking at yourself in the mirror, the next you were on the ground,” Adrien said, reaching out a hand to her. 

She took it and he pulled her to her feet.  She bounced on her heals as she landed, practically buzzing with energy.  Yep, definitely an adrenaline rush.

“So what happened with you?” Adrien asked, turning the question back on her. 

Chloe shrugged.

“I don’t know.  One second I was looking at myself and feeling really great, the next my back just…  I don’t know how to describe it, it just hurt really bad!  Like someone had stabbed me or something.” 

Adrien turned her around and looked her over.  Chloe looked over her shoulder at her reflection but couldn’t see anything wrong.  The back of the suit was completely bare of any mark or sign of injury.  Her butt looked great though.

“Where did it hurt?” Adrien asked.

“Right here.”

Chloe reached back and indicated a spot near her left shoulder blade. 

“It was like… I don’t know how to describe it.  It was so bad I think I blacked out or something.  It only lasted a second though, and then it just… stopped.  Like completely.  There one second, totally gone the next.”

“Weird… Plagg do you know what happened?”

Plagg shook his head, but took a closer look at the place Chloe had indicated. 

“I never heard of anything like this, but then I’m no expert either.  But hey, if it stopped it stopped.”

Adrien sighed, and put his hand to his face.  Chloe on the other hand was still riding the adrenaline rush and tapping her foot impatiently. 

“Whatever,” she said quickly.  “Let’s just hurry up and go help Ladybug already.” 

Adrien looked at her uncertainly. 

“I don’t know Chloe, something might be wrong with your miraculous.  Maybe you should sit this one out…”

Chloe scoffed and waved her hand dismissively.  

“I’m fine.  I feel better than I have all day!  Now come on, Ladybug’s probably wondering where her partner is.  Or partners now, right?” she added with a mischievous smile.

Adrien quickly forgot his reluctance and smiled back in anticipation.

“Alright.  Plagg, Claws Out!” 

Chloe smiled wider as she watched Adrien go through his transformation. 

“I guess I should work on my own dance too, huh?” she asked teasingly. 

Chat Noir brushed past her and twirled his compact staff nonchalantly. 

“It’ll come naturally to you.”  He opened the door for her and gave her another bow.  “Shall we?”

Chloe curtsied and stepped out of the office and into the empty courtyard.  Chat Noir followed her out and quickly ran past her, using his extending staff to pole vault onto the roof above. 

“Race you to the Akuma?” he called down, lazily putting his staff behind his head and resting his arms on it. 

Chloe smirked.  Without thinking she took a running start and leapt up to the second floor.  She landed easily on the railing twenty feet above her, and spun around on the ball of one foot.  Launching herself up and out into the open air, she caught the lip of the roof with her hands and used the momentum to flip herself up onto the roof next to Chat Noir with dignified grace. 

...At least that’s what she meant to do.  Instead, she only managed to jump a few feet into the air, came down unexpectedly fast, tripped, and tumbled over herself and crashed into one of the wooden benches.

Chat Noir leapt down to find her splayed upside down on the bench with her feet in the air, looking confused, but on the whole, unharmed. 

“Chat?” she asked, not moving to correct her upside down self.  “How do you turn on the super strength?” 

Chapter Text

In which our heroes go back, find there is no going back, and things go up from there.

“Huh?”

Chat cocked his head as he hung upside down from the courtyard floor.  Well, technically Chloe was the one who was upside down, but she didn’t feel much like moving at the moment.  Bad things happened when she moved today.

“The super strength, how do you turn it on?” she repeated. 

He blinked at her and scratched his head.

“Uh… I don’t know.  It just sort of… turns on when I need it?”

“Well I need it and it’s not turning on,” Chloe grumbled as she righted herself and shook her head.  “At least the armor thing is working,” she grumbled. 

“Maybe you didn’t say the phrase right?” Chat offered. 

“I didn’t say the phrase at all!”

“…Right.” 

They stood in awkward silence as Chat Noir thought, and Chloe became more angry with her situation.  It was bad enough she didn’t know how to use any of the unique powers she was supposed to have, but now the hunk of junk miraculous wasn’t even giving her the basics!  At least some of the powers seemed to be working, since she hadn’t felt much of an impact when she had crashed into the bench.  Then again, maybe it was just the adrenaline that was rapidly fading from her veins that kept her from feeling the full impact…

“…We’re not gonna solve anything like this,” Chat said, pulling her out of her thoughts. 

He knelt down and motioned for her to climb onto his back.

 “Here, hop on and we’ll go find Ladybug.  Maybe she can help once we deal with the Akuma.” 

Chloe groaned and rubbed her face. 

“Chat, you can’t seriously still expect me to fight like this?” 

“Well no,” Chat said, straightening up.  “But I can’t just leave you alone while you’re transformed after you nearly passed out back there.”

Chloe groaned again. 

“How about I just change back?”

“Can you?”

“…Good question.”

They hurried back inside the nurse’s office. 

“Okay, how do I do this?” Chloe asked. 

Chat opened his mouth to reply, but then trailed off as if not sure how to explain it.   

“Well, you just kind of… want it to come off?  I think Plagg once told me saying the transformation words in reverse helps beginners.” 

Chloe cocked her head to the side in confusion. 

“You mean… talk backwards?”

“No, like I say ‘Claws Out’ to transform.  To change back I’d say, ‘Claws In.”

There was a beat of awkward silence. 

“…You didn’t change back though.”

“Well no, I didn’t want to.  It’s not like transforming, the words just help focus the feeling.  That’s the important part.  Just try saying ‘Change Back”

 “…Right.” 

Chloe nodded and went back over to the mirror and looked herself in the eye. 

“Okay… Change Back!”

Nothing happened.  She looked back at Chat Noir. 

“Like I said, it’s all feeling.  You have to want to change back.”

Chloe nodded and turned back to the mirror and closed her eyes.  She tried to imagine herself without the mask and suit.  As regular, normal, mayor’s daughter Chloe, and tried to remind herself of what she was missing if she couldn’t change back.  No more credit cards, no luxury hair products, no limousines, no look of fear in people’s eyes when she walked into a room, no hateful glares when they thought her back was turned, no having to make herself turn up her nose when a pretty girl passed by so she wouldn’t stare, no feeling of a knife being turned in her heart when she saw happy couples sharing a meal, while she sat alone in her limo on the way to another public appearance as the daughter of a corrupt mayor… 

She opened her eyes, and saw a woman who didn’t have to be her looking back from the mirror. 

“…I can’t.”

She felt Chat’s hand on her shoulder, and turned to see him smiling at her. 

“That’s okay.  I don’t think I could have done it the first time either.” 

She smiled back, and then grimaced as pain shot through her back again.  Chat steadied her, but she held up a hand. 

“Was it?”

“Yeah,” she said straightening up.  “But it wasn’t as bad as last time.  Lasted a little longer though…” 

She rubbed that same spot on her upper back as the pain quickly dissipated. 

“Maybe you should just stop looking in mirrors?  Those eyes are enough to break any girl’s heart when they look away.” 

“…Shut up.” 

She playfully pushed him away, but couldn’t keep herself from smiling.  Chat chuckled back before his eyes suddenly lit up. 

“Oh, that reminds me actually!  Come on.”

He grabbed her by the wrist and drug her back out to the courtyard. 

“You know, I hope nobody sees us,” Chloe commented, looking around.  “The last thing I need is Cesaire getting some video of me tripping over my own feet before I’ve even announced myself to Paris.”

“The school’s empty, trust me,” Chat said, pointing to his magic cat ears.  He knelt down slightly with is back to her.  “Now hop on, I’ve still got one more surprise for you.”

Chloe rolled her eyes. 

“Chat, if your next surprise is anything like your last one it would be kinder to just cataclysm me now and be done with it.”

“You’ll love it I promise!  …hopefully.”

Chloe sighed and shook her head, but put her arms around his neck anyway.  He stood up and she tightened her grip around his collar bone. 

“Ready?” 

“…No.” 

“Good, here we go.” 

He took a running leap and used his staff to propel them up to the roof of the school again.  Then he pole-vaulted them across the street, and up onto the flat roofs surrounding the park. 

“Last stop,” Chat said as they landed. 

Chloe let go and began brushing herself off and grumbling. 

“Ugg, Ladybug is so much better at whisking people away then you.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Chat said, lazily putting his staff behind his head and hanging his arms off it again.  Then he shifted uncomfortably.  “Uhm… look, I know I shouldn’t have to say this but… well… About Ladybug-“

“I promise I’ll try not to steal your ‘Lady’ away from you,” Chloe said, giving him an affectionate smile.  “Since you’re the one who gave me my chance that would be a pretty nasty thing to do, even for me.  I don’t think I’d have a chance with her anyway actually…  She never seemed to like me very much.”  She added, looking down at the ground. 

“This is the new you, remember?” Chat said, lifting her chin up to look at him.  “But I’m gonna hold you to that promise.  Though I’m sure my feline charms would win out over your feminine whiles eventually.” 

“Uh-huh, keep telling yourself that, cheese breath.” 

She patted him on the cheek with a teasing smile, and he groaned.

The two of them went over to the edge of the roof and looked down at the chaos below.  They had seen a fair amount of the evil edibles running about the park on the TV earlier, but now the place looked nearly overrun.  Several hostages were tied between posts made out of giant pretzel sticks halfway between the fountain and the statue of Ladybug and Chat Noir, which of course had been smashed to pieces as it always was whenever there was an Akuma attack in the area.  The monstrous pastries were either jeering at the hostages, or dancing around them waving more cooking implements.  Amongst the hostages were Nadja Charmack, her cameraman, and a particularly well dressed and cowardly looking gentleman Chloe felt she had seen somewhere before, but couldn’t place. 

“Looks like Ladybug hasn’t shown up yet,” Chat Noir said. 

“Or she’s somewhere else dealing with the Akuma.  Look at how the hostages are tied up like they’re going to be an island sacrifice, like in that movie with the big monkey, remember?  None of those things look like they’re in charge, they’re just dancing around, and there is definitely more of them than there were on the news.  They’re waiting for something, probably the Akuma riding on a giant gingerbread gorilla.” 

Chat Noir looked at her, clearly impressed with her assessment.  But before he could say anything,

“Wow!  Good eye, girl!” 

They whipped around to see a girl in an orange and white outfit standing a few feet away.  The girl smiled and waved at them, and Chloe recognized her from her description and the blurry photos on the Ladyblog. 

“Volpina!” she gasped.

She grabbed at the satchel on her waist, but panicked as she realized she had no idea how she was supposed to use it to defend herself.  She looked to Chat Noir for help, but to her surprise he smiled and put away his staff to shake the newcomer’s hand. 

“Nice to meet the real you finally.  Chat Noir, though you probably already knew that.” 

“Volpina,” she said, shaking his hand.  Then she turned to Chloe.  “And who might this clever girl be?”

Chloe blushed. 

“Volpina, meet your new partner, Queen Bee!”

“Queen Bee huh?”  Volpina said walking up to Chloe.  “That’s an… interesting choice of name.  Anyway, it’s great to meet you, I’m sure we’ll make a great team!”

She smiled and held out her hand to Chloe, but all Chloe could do was stand there like a deer in headlights.  She looked desperately from Chat Noir to this new(?) Volpina.  Partner?  She had her own partner?  And what was with this Queen Bee stuff Chat was suddenly spouting.  In a daze she took a step back, and her foot found only empty air.

As the familiar sensation of falling overtook her, her back exploded in pain again, and the world went black. 

Chapter Text

In which Volpina makes her appearance, Chat Noir makes puns, and Queen Bee is a (mostly) useless Lesbian.

Chloe was falling through a pitch black abyss, completely void of any light or sound.  All she could feel was pain.  It was as if a hole was being drilled through her back.  She could feel it as it cut deeper inside of her, heading straight for her heart and then… It was gone.  

The pain disappeared suddenly and without a trace, and instead of the horrible and nauseating feeling of falling, she felt as if she were simply drifting; all alone through empty space, with no sense of up, down, or even if she was breathing. 

And then, she wasn’t drifting.  She was nestled against something soft and pleasantly warm.  Whatever it was, it was even better than the twenty-thousand-euro bed back in her penthouse.  She felt safe and very comfortable, and wanted nothing more than to snuggle deeper into whatever it was she was laying on, but her body wasn’t responding to her commands.  Her “bed” seemed to sense what she wanted, and she felt it shift and wrap two warm arms around her and hold her close.  It was a wonderful feeling. 

The next sense to come back was smell.  Her lungs suddenly sucked air through her nose as if they had been completely empty, and her mind was filled with the scent of cinnamon and… something else.  She couldn’t put a name to it, but this new smell was completely foreign to her, though not at all unpleasant. 

Next came her hearing.  She could hear the steady thump of a heartbeat in one ear, and then two voices talking back and forth in the other.

“Is she okay?”

“Yeah, uh, she’s just, er… really excited to meet you!”

The voices sounded slightly muted, as if from a long way off.  They were nice sounding voices, but hearing them was forcing her to pay attention and wake up, while the heartbeat was trying to lull her back to sleep.  Her strength began to come back to her, and she used it to bury her face deeper into the nice smelling something that was cradling her. 

One of the voices laughed softly.

“Well, she’s certainly seems happy to meet me.” 

Someone lightly caressed the side of her face, prompting her to unwillingly open her eyes.  Her vision was blurry at first, but as she blinked it back into focus, all she could see was an ocean of pure white.  She pulled her head away slightly and realized she was sitting up.  Turning her head, she saw a dark blue floor and some funny looking shoes that were attached to some legs.  Following the legs up, she eventually came to Chat Noir’s face leaning over her.  It was smiling down at her like the him that had eaten the canary. 

That was a bit annoying, but at least he was a friendly face.  She dazedly looked back to her bed, and saw it had orange shoulders connected to the two white “pillows” she had been using, and a gold and orange necklace shaped like a fox tail.  Following the necklace, she saw a high black collar that connected to a beautiful brown face, that had a friendly smile, a white and orange mask, and two hazel brown eyes that Chloe found especially fascinating. 

“Hello there,” the lovely face said. 

Chloe’s dreamy bliss popped like a balloon.  She was leaning on a pretty girl, no scratch that, being held by a pretty girl whose rather ample chest had been serving as her pillow for who knew how long, and this bushy haired angel was smiling down at her like there was nothing wrong with this situation.  It was literally a dream come true for her repressed little gay heart.  So naturally, she panicked. 

She flung herself away from the beautiful stranger with every ounce of strength she had.  The girl let out a “Hey!” of surprise and fell over, while Chloe tried to stand up and run away at the same time.  The result was her stumbling wildly backwards, and as she did so her mind took in her surroundings and she realized that she was still on the roof, and in nearly the exact same position she had been in just a minute before. 

Fortunately, Chat Noir was prepared this time, and used his staff as a guard rail to keep her from falling off the roof like she had nearly done earlier. 

“Yeah, let’s not do that again,” he said, and then gave her a push forward that sent her tumbling back towards Volpina. 

Volpina was still sitting up as Chloe came back, and they landed in a heap on the floor, with Chloe sprawled over Volpina’s chest again, and her head spinning. 

“That, however, I could watch all day,” Chat commented. 

As the two girls groaned and Chloe pushed herself up on her arms, Volpina sat up for the third time and the two came nearly nose to nose. 

Their eyes widened as the two looked at each other, their faces barely and inch apart.  Volpina seemed surprised, but Chloe looked downright terrified.  Her eyes took in the vision before her, and tried to memorize all the details at once.  The way Volpina’s white tipped brown hair perfectly framed her face, the bright colors of her mask, the surprised but curious look in her sparkling hazel eyes, how soft her slightly parted lips looked, how close they were to her own…

“You know, Queenie,” Chat said off to her left, playfully leaning on his staff and twirling his tail in one hand.  “I at least waited until my second mission before I fell for my partner.”

Chloe’s already red face nearly burst in to flames.  Volpina tried to hide her smile, and Chloe shut her eyes tight and wrenched herself away from her as fast as she could.  She scrambled for the only safe place she could think of to save herself from dying of embarrassment, and made a mad dash past Chat Noir, grabbed one of his padded shoulders as she went by, and swung herself around to hide behind his back.

“Is she okay?” Volpina asked, trying not to laugh at the just barely visible knuckles clinging to Chat’s shoulders.

Chat looked back at the trembling girl trying to cut off circulation to his arms. 

“She’s fine,” he said casually.  “She’s just not used to meeting new people.” 

Chloe made a fist and hit him in the back as hard as she could.  He chuckled at the soft blow and turned his attention back to Volpina. 

“So where’s Ladybug?”

Volpina stood up and pointed to a tree on the opposite side of the park from their roof.  Chat Noir squinted, and could just make out a hint of red peeking out from between its’ branches.  

“She’s over there.  She’s waiting for me to make a distraction to lure away all the bad guys so she can rescue the hostages.”

“Great plan,” Chat said.  “Getting the civilians to safety should always be our first priority.  You got that Queenie?” 

He looked back and saw Chloe nod her head vigorously while she continued to try to slow her racing heartbeat. 

“Good.  Volpina, you and I can hop down once their distracted and help Ladybug release the hostages, then regroup back here and get Queen Bee.  She, uh… transformed before her Kwami told her how to use her powers.  Classic mistake.  I did the same thing.”

Volpina gave a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of her head. 

“Actually, Ladybug says I’m not allowed in the field yet.  She says I need more training.”  Volpina rolled her eyes and huffed.  “Like she had any training on her first day.” 

“That’s what I said!” Chat agreed, and Chloe hit him again. 

Volpina threw up her arms in agreement.  

“Right!?  Anyway, I’m supposed to just stay up here out of sight for now.”

“Well, Ladybug knows best, I guess.  Anyway, you can look after Queenie for me then.” 

Chat jabbed his thumb over his shoulder to point at the still cowering “Queenie.”  Her majesty had had enough of him however.  Without a word she grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him over behind a nearby chimney.  As soon as they were out of sight, Chloe grabbed him firmly by the shoulders and slammed him into the grey brick chimney.  She glared furiously at him. 

“You have exactly three seconds to start explaining before I start inventing new ways to skin a cat.”

Chat held up his hands. 

“Whoa, take it easy.  I told you I had one last surprise for you, didn’t I?  You get your own partner!  Look, a few days ago Ladybug met me for patrol and showed me these two boxes, see?  They looked just like the one I found Plagg’s ring in, and she said this old guy had given them to her so she could select some new superheroes to help us out.  One had the Fox Miraculous inside it, which she kept, and the other had the Bee Miraculous, which she gave to me.  She told me to give it to someone who was kind, trustworthy, and a strong leader.  I only have, like, 4 friends though, and you’re the only one I would really call a leader, and you’re always kind to me at least.  Plus, like I said, you’re the only one who would really appreciate the freedom that comes with a miraculous.  So after a few days of thinking about it, I came by your house last night and here we are.”

Chloe looked at him in wonder for a moment, then closed her eyes and shook her head.

“Okay,” she said slowly.  “So… why am I ‘Queen Bee’ all of a sudden?”

“I thought it up while we were in the nurse’s office,” he said brightly.  “It just kind of hit me, you know?  Pollen’s all big into royalty like you said, right?  And, you know, you always act like you’re royalty all the time.  And you’ve got the whole bee look going on, so then I was like, BAM, ‘Queen’ ‘Bee’ get it?”  He smiled proudly at his own creativity. 

Chloe looked at him dumbly, blinking every so often, as if not sure how her life had suddenly become so strange.  Chat’s face fell. 

“Do you… Do you not like it?”

“Huh?   No.  I’m mean, no Chat, I love it!  Couldn’t have come up with a better name myself.  Just...”

She lifted her hands up to his collar, where they hovered indecisively as if not sure if they wanted to strangle him or not.  Instead, they simply landed on his shoulders and squeezed firmly. 

“Next time, talk to me first before you make any major, life altering decisions for someone else.  Okay?  Please?” 

 Her smile was loving, but also very strained at the same time.  Chat didn’t know what to make of it so he just nodded. 

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

“Good.  Good…”

She patted him on the cheek and took a deep breath before stepping out from behind the chimney.  She forgot who was waiting for them, and let out a surprised “eep” when she saw Volpina looking at her.  She quickly dashed back behind the chimney, colliding with Chat Noir in the process.  They fumbled around for a second until separating themselves, whereupon Chloe began very casually brushing off her outfit and adjusting her hair. 

“You go first,” she said, waving at Chat. 

Chat arched an eyebrow at her before strolling out from behind the chimney.  A second later, Queen Bee followed him out with her head held high and her shoulders back. 

And her knees shaking when she caught Volpina smiling at her curiously. 

“Sorry about that,” Chat said.  “Just had to have a quick word with my ward here.”

He gestured at Queen Bee, who scowled and punched him in the arm.  Volpina tried to hide her smile, and Chat Noir ignored Queen Bee and continued.

“Anyway, I’m sure we’ve kept my lady waiting long enough.” 

Volpina nodded and pulled out the long wooden staff she wore on her back.  At least, Queen Bee had thought it was a staff, but then she saw Volpina hold it up to her lips and realized it was really a very long flute.  Volpina focused on the farthest end of the park. and took a deep breath.  She closed her eyes and hesitated for a moment before playing a few short cords.  The music sounded rushed, but a ball of glowing energy quickly formed on the other end of the flute.  When she was done, she adjusted her grip and tossed the glowing orb at the spot she had been focusing on, as if she were casting a fishing rod.

“Interesting technique,” Chat commented. 

Volpina smiled and rubbed her head again.

“My mom used to take me fishing a lot.  Look!”

She pointed as the ball of light arced over the park like a shooting star.  It hit the ground with a small flash, and Chat Noir and Ladybug appeared.  Queen Bee looked from the Chat next to her, to the Chat across the park with Ladybug in amazement.  She was even more impressed when the fake Ladybug suddenly moved, and whistled loudly at the jeering minions.  Every head in the park turned to look at her.  Along with everything else in the park that didn’t have a head. 

“Hey!  If you want our Miraculouses, come and get’m!” the fake Ladybug yelled. 

The evil edibles cried out and charged at the fake Ladybug and Chat Noir.  The duplicates gave them a taunting wave, and started leaping from tree top to tree top, letting their pursuers chase them around and wildly hurl wooden spoons and spatulas up at them. 

About fifteen or so of the minions stayed back to guard the hostages. 

“They’re smarter than they look,” Queen Bee commented.

“Just the way the cookies crumble,” Chat said, pulling out his staff.  “Volpina, you try to cover us with your illusions from here in case things turn sour, Queen Bee,” he gave her a quick wink, “don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

She nearly threw him off the roof, but he leapt away before she could get her hands on him.  She watched him pounce on one of the giant gingerbread men and smash it to bits.  She could also see Ladybug rushing in from the opposite side, using her yoyo to lasso an over grown cupcake, and turn it into a makeshift wrecking ball to smash the four-foot tall sugar cookies blocking her way. 

“They make a good team,” Volpina said next to her. 

Queen Bee jumped.  She hadn’t realized Volpina had gotten so close.  She swallowed and kept her eyes fixed on the battle below as she tried to think of something to say.  Volpina just laughed. 

“You know, you’re pretty shy for a queen.”

Queen Bee blushed again and looked away. 

“…I didn’t come up with the name,” she mumbled. 

“Oh!  So you can talk to me.” 

Volpina smiled and tried to lean around Queen Bee to catch her eye.  Queen Bee felt Volpina’s chest brush up against her arm, and the soft touch sent sparks of electricity shooting through her body.   She jumped away, her heart pounding, and Volpina backed away too, frowning. 

“Sorry, I guess I can be a little too forward…”

“No no, your fine!” Queen Bee insisted, waving a hand despite still looking directly away from Volpina.  “I’m just…”

‘gay.’

The word echoed through her mind.  It was something she had been taught to be ashamed of.  Something she had hidden, feared, and hated about herself for almost all of her life.  She had tried her best to lie to everyone about it, even herself, but standing on that roof, alone with her new beautiful partner, she remembered that she didn’t have to lie about it anymore. 

Queen Bee turned around and looked at Volpina with determination burning in her eyes. 

“I’m a lesbian.”

Volpina seemed taken aback, but whether it was from what Queen Bee was saying, or just the raw power she was saying it with, she couldn’t tell. 

“That’s why Chat picked me to be Queen Bee.  I have to hide who I am when I’m… when I’m the other me.”  Her gazed dropped to the ground.  “But Chat promised that I could be who I really am, if I agreed to help fight the Akumas, so I did.  I’m gay, and I’m not going to hide it when I’m like this.  I-If that’s going to be a problem I’m sorry, b-but I’m not going to give it up so-”

Her fear was beginning to override her courage, but before it could give out completely, two strong arms wrapped around her waist, and she was again surrounded by the lovely scent of cinnamon, and that other nice smell… 

She slowly let herself relax into Volpina’s embrace, and after a few seconds, she hesitantly wrapped her own arms around her as well. 

“It’s not a problem at all,” Volpina whispered in her ear. 

Then she pulled back and cupped Queen Bee’s face, wiping away a tear from her partner’s cheek with her thumb, and they both smiled at each other. 

“I think that is a great reason to become a superhero.  I mean, it’s certainly original.”

They both laughed and Queen Bee let go to wipe her eyes again. 

“So, yeah.  Lesbian superhero.”  Queen Bee looked down at herself and shrugged.  “Though I guess I’m not very super yet…”

‘or a much of a hero,’ she added to herself.

Volpina scoffed and waved her hand. 

“Don’t worry about it, girl.  Ladybug’s got me on a two-foot leash.  I’m not even allowed to wear my own miraculous unless she’s there to supervise me.” 

She rolled her eyes and groaned.  Queen Bee looked amazed.

“Wow, Chat only gave me my miraculous last night, and he wanted me to fight an Akuma my first time putting it on.”

“Wana trade?” Volpina asked.

She was clearly joking, but Queen Bee put a finger to her lips as if considering the offer. 

“Hmm, depends.  Would I get to find out who Ladybug really is?”

Volpina laughed awkwardly and rubbed her head again. 

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” 

Queen Bee frowned, then shrugged her shoulders. 

“Well, if her reveal went anything like Chat’s, you’re probably right.  He transformed right before my eyes and I still thought it was fake.”

“You too!?”  Volpina exclaimed.  “The same thing happened to me, girl!  Like, she changed right in front of me and I thought it was just some fancy special effect!  But it was right in my own room!  I didn’t believe it was really her until I started-“

“-Trying to point out why she wasn’t!”  Queen Bee interrupted.  “I did the exact same thing!  And then when there weren’t any reasons why he couldn’t be Chat I got this really bad-“

“-Headache, I know!  If felt like my skull was splitting open!  But it was like there was this wall separating them and when I started poking holes in it-“

“It was like someone cataclysmed your head.  Yep, exactly!  There’s got to be some kind of magic that keeps people from recognizing us.  And it HURTS super bad when it stops.”  

“Ugg, I know,” moaned Volpina, “and I felt like a total idiot for not seeing it!  I mean she doesn’t even change her hair!” 

“At least you probably weren’t raised with Ladybug,” Queen Bee grumbled. 

“Yeah, I can’t imagine if I had a brother that was secretly a superhero,” Volpina said, shaking her head. 

“Yeah…  wait what?”

Queen Bee looked up at her in confusion, but Volpina just waved her off. 

“Girl, it’s totally obvious.  The way you two talk, the way you move, the hair,”

“Whoa, whoa, time out!”  Queen Bee put up her hands in a tee, and gave Volpina a warning look.  “My gorgeous hair is nothing like that banana mop litterbox boy has on his head!” 

Queen Bee waved at the park below, while Volpina wordlessly observed how Queen Bee’s ponytail started as a whole band of hair, but was clearly attempting to curl itself into individual bunches at the end.

“Mhmm, sure.”

“Uh… Volpina?”

Queen Bee was staring down at the park with worry etched all over her face.  One glance below told why.  The hostages were still tied to the posts, and Ladybug and Chat Noir had been captured as well. 

“Oh…” Volpina said.  “Yeah, that’s probably not good...”

Chapter Text

In which our heroes are having a crumby day, it’s all some Dude’s fault, and the fox stings the bee.

“Probably not good!?”

Queen Bee gaped at Volpina, and the other girl shifted awkwardly. 

“Well, I mean…  It might not be as bad as it looks.”

Queen Bee looked back down at the very bad looking situation in the park.   Chat Noir and Ladybug hadn’t been exactly successful in their rescue attempt.  In fact, all of the hostages were still hostages, and both of the heroes were struggling to get free from a moderately sized army of possessed pastries, while more of the evil minions began erecting two more sacrificial pretzel stick posts for them.  Oddly enough, there also seemed to be a lot more of the evil edibles then there had been before.

Queen Bee looked back at her partner as if to ask, ‘how?’ 

“It’s Ladybug!” Volpina insisted.  “Ladybug always has a plan.  Besides, if they were in any real trouble she’d be using her Lucky Charm right about now.” 

“Lucky Chmmhmm!”

They looked back down to see a giant sugar cookie stuffing a wad of wax paper into Ladybug’s mouth to gag her, as the rest of the minions held her down and tossed away her yoyo.

“I’m failing to see the part where we’re not all doomed,” Queen Bee said flatly. 

Volpina grabbed at her own face and groaned. 

“I don’t get it!  How could this have happened?  They were wiping the floor with those things earlier, they should be nothing but crumbs by now!  How can they be winning?”

“Look!” 

Queen Bee grabbed her arm and pointed down to the broken remains of a gingerbread man Ladybug had just managed to kick off and sent flying into the trunk of a tree.  The gingerbread man had shattered into a dozen pieces, but it didn’t stay that way for long.  The pieces began to wriggle and hop their way back together like a squirming jigsaw puzzle.  When the last crumb had climbed back into place, the gingerbread man sprang to life again, picked up its’ rubber spatula, and charged back into the brawl without a moment’s hesitation. 

“Oh, that’s just not fair!”

Volpina was beside herself with outrage, while Queen Bee just sighed and shook her head. 

“That’s why they picked two new superheroes,” she said, gesturing at another pastry as it pulled itself together after being smashed.  “The Akumas are getting stronger.  And smarter!  The minions have nearly captured the dynamic duo, but there’s still no sign of where the actual Akuma is!  This is worse than that ‘Puppeteer’ Akuma I read about.”

“Don’t remind me,” Volpina mumbled under her breath.  “But you’re right.  And we have another problem, have you noticed there are more of them too?  Are they regenerating and reproducing?”  

“I don’t know, but does it matter right now?  Ladybug and Chat Noir are way out numbered either way, I can’t even get off this roof by myself, and you…  you…” Queen Bee trailed off, her eyes looking from Volpina to her flute. 

Volpina arched an eyebrow.

“…me?”

“You… Wonderful superhero you!”  Queen Bee’s face lit up and she beamed at Volpina.  “You’re a one-woman army!  All you have to do is make a bunch of Ladybugs and Chat Noirs to even the odds!”

Volpina frowned.

“Sorry, but I only know how to make illusions right now.” 

She put her flute to her lips and blew a quick tune and created a perfect copy of Ladybug standing next to them, smiling, but still as a statue.

“They look real, and they even sound real, but,”

She waved her staff through the double and it evaporated into shimmering smoke. 

“If they touch anything solid the illusion is broken and they disappear.  Even pigeons will break them.  Especially pigeons actually,” she growled, tightening her grip on her staff and baring her teeth. 

Queen Bee guessed there was an amusing story behind that, but it would have to wait. 

“Okay, so… you can make illusions.  You said that was all you can do now.  Do you have other powers?” 

“Yeah, but Ladybug won’t let Trixx tell me!  She said I’m not ready for my superpower yet!  She only let her teach me how to foxwalk yesterday!”

“Foxwalk?  Okay, well, could that power help?” Queen Bee asked, glancing back down at the park below. 

Volpina’s head drooped miserably. 

“Probably not, it just helps me get around…”     

Queen Bee frowned.  She cupped Volpina’s face and tilted it up to look at her. 

“Focus Foxy.  They’ve almost got Chat Noir tied up and they’ll have Ladybug soon too.  Now think.  Your illusions can’t touch anything right?  So we’ll… we’ll scare them!  We’ll make an illusion that will send them into a panic so Ladybug can get free!” 

Volpina’s face lit up and she put her hands over Queen Bee’s. 

“That’s it!  Only…  what scare’s a giant evil cookie?”

They thought together for a moment until the answer struck them both at the same time. 

“MILK!”

They hurried over the edge and skidded to a halt.   

“Okay, there’s a bunch of stuff in the way, but it’s stationary so I should be able to make the illusion go around everything without breaking.  Provided there are no pigeons hiding anywhere…” 

As Volpina began quickly judging distances and terrain, Queen Bee started nearly dancing with nervousness as she watched a demented cupcake tightened the ropes (of thick fruit leather?) holding Chat Noir’s arms to the posts.

“Hurry uuuuup,” she whined, but Volpina didn’t seem to hear her.   

“Okay, visualize the illusion.  See it in your mind,” Volpina said to herself.  “The milk comes out of the buildings, through the gate, around the fountain, and…  Crap!  It’s not gonna work!”

“What?  Why not?”

Queen Bee tore her gaze away from Chat Noir, who was now attempting to eat the ropes holding him, to look at Volpina as she groaned and pointed at the farthest group of evil pastries with her flute. 

“That’s why not.  As soon as my illusion hits even one of those stupid éclair dog things, the whole thing will go poof!  The ones nearest to Ladybug and Chat will hardly see it!”

Queen Bee put her hand gently over Volpina’s and coaxed her to point her flute at the park again. 

“Make the wave go up,” she said, using the flute to draw an imaginary wave.  “Think of it like a tsunami.  Have the milk flood in, and then form a giant wall that will crash down over them.  That ought to get their attention.”

The image took shape in Volpina’s mind and she smiled. 

“Clever girl.”

Queen Bee smiled and stepped back so Volpina could play.  A few seconds later Volpina cast the orb of energy across the park again. 

“Sure hope this works,” Volpina said as the shining orb hit one of the buildings and vanished.  

“It will,” Queen Bee assured her, looking down as Ladybug was hoisted into the air by a group of giant sugar cookies and carried toward the waiting pillars. 

‘It has to.’

Suddenly there was a loud rumbling and the sound of breaking glass as a massive torrent of milk burst out from every window of every building on the far end of the park.  Gallons upon gallons of the stuff poured out and began flooding the park.  It crashed around the fountain and merry-go-round at terrific speed until it came to a stop about ten feet away from the nearest minion.  Then it began to grow, stretching taller and taller until it formed a massive rolling white wave of milk that towered over the nearby buildings. 

“No birds, no birds, no birds, no birds,” Volpina kept chanting, watching as the pure white wave grew to its’ full height.   

Queen Bee took her hand and squeezed it supportively, and forced herself to look down at the crowd below.  Everyone, the minions, the hostages, even Ladybug and Chat Noir were staring up at the great white tsunami that had suddenly appeared smack dab in the middle of Palace De Vogses.  Then there was a terrific roar of rushing water (which hopefully sounded the same as rushing milk) and the wave began to slowly crash down over them all. 

If it was panic they wanted, it was panic they got.  Cupcakes crashed into one another in a mess of frosting, sugar cookies were trampled by stampeding macaroons, four legged éclairs with mouths foaming with cream yelped and barreled over everything in their path, and the gingerbread men really did run run run as fast as they could, but were beaten to the park exit by a pack of croissants waiving a white flag. 

Amidst the total chaos, Ladybug was released by her captors as they ran for their lives, and she raced over to Chat Noir to untie him.  No sooner had she untied one of the partially gnawed through ropes, then she looked up and pulled them over to the pretzel stick pole he was still tied to, and clung tightly to him.  Chat Noir reached around her to grab the pole with his free hand, and tried to shelter her with his body as they both braced themselves for the crashing wave. 

It popped harmlessly as soon as it touched a surprised looking pigeon that had perched atop one of the poles. 

Wisps of fleeting orange smoke was all that washed over them all as the pastries continued to panic, and Chat and Ladybug looked around in confusion.  Then Chat Noir understood and looked up to the roof tops where Volpina and Queen Bee were both jumping and cheering at them.  Ladybug followed his gaze and realized what had happened.  They both gave them a thumbs up, and quickly undid the ropes holding Chat’s other hand.  Once he was free they rushed to recover their weapons before the minions were able to regroup. 

Up on the roof, Queen Bee and Volpina continued to cheer and hop around in victory. 

“It worked!  It worked!”  Queen Bee cheered.  She laughed as Volpina lifted her up and spun her around.  “Did you see how those little troglodytes fell over each other!”

“If only I had my camera!” Volpina said wistfully, as she set Queen Bee down and smiled at her.  “That would have made a killer video!”

“You sound like a blogger,” Queen Bee laughed, stepping away.  She staggered a little, dizzy from the spinning.  “Whoa!”  She fell on her rear and burst out laughing again.   

She reached up a hand to Volpina.

“What was I saying?” 

“Uh, something about troggles?” Volpina said quickly, pulling Queen Bee back to her feet. 

Queen Bee just giggled some more and shook her head. 

“Whatever, let’s just see how Ladybug and Chat Noir are… Oh no!  You have got to be kidding me!”

Volpina looked down and saw that Ladybug and Chat Noir’s rescue attempt had already gone awry again!  They had succeeded in recovering their weapons, but while plenty of minions were either still running out of the park in panic or trampled to crumbs, a decent amount of them had already either reformed or just returned to the fight.  The brawl was becoming so fierce again that neither of the heroes could stop long enough to get to the other and escape, and more of the evil edibles were joining back in by the second.  

“It’s like there’s just no end to them!” Volpina yelled.  “It doesn’t matter how many we smash or scare off, there’s always more of them!”

“This is insane,” Queen Bee said, watching as another sugar cookie reformed itself.  “This is just in-sane!  We could fight these things for an hour and they’re just be three times as many!” 

“And where is the Akuma?  And what does it want?” Volpina asked.  “All its’ done so far is tie up a bunch of news people in a park!” 

“They’re not all news crew,” Queen Bee said, pointing at the particularly well-dressed man she had noticed earlier.  “That guy in the middle, in the custom tailored Cashmere suit from last year’s Agreste Autumn Line.  I swear I’ve seen him before somewhere.

Volpina raised an eyebrow at how specifically Queen Bee had identified the man’s clothes from over two hundred feet away, but looked at the man she pointed out.  She sneered in disgust when she recognized him. 

“That cockroach in men’s clothing is ‘Dude Fury.”

Queen Bee snapped her fingers. 

“That’s right, he’s on that show on the Chow network, um, “Restaurants, Snack Shops, and Eateries.”  He did an episode about the restaurant at Le Grand Paris last week.”

“He scammed Le Grand Paris last week you mean,” Volpina said through clenched teeth.  “He threatened to call the head chef’s food ‘inedible,’ when it was really the best thing to have ever touched his rotten tongue, unless the owner, our mayor, gave him a big bribe, which he took out of the head chef’s pay check!” 

“Yeah, well… that’s politics for you.”  Queen Bee said, looking down at Mr. Fury. 

‘I guess that also explains why Alya looked like she wanted to punch me in the face more than usual last week.  Thanks again, Dad.’

“It’s bullshit!” Volpina yelled back, wringing her staff as if imagining it was Dude Fury’s neck. 

She saw the questioning look Queen Bee was giving her and sighed. 

“People like that just… really get to me.  You know?  They’re scumbags, and they get paid to be scumbags.  It’s not right!” 

“Yeah… scumbags…”  Queen Bee said, suddenly feeling very small. 

There was nothing to argue about that statement, and she didn’t even want to argue it.  Volpina was completely right, but still, how would she react if she knew her new partner was one of those scumbags she seemed to hate so much.  It was a troubling thought, but Queen Bee reminded herself that she wasn’t that person at the moment, and they had much more pressing matters to deal with.  She shook her head and pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind. 

“Let’s get back to the Akuma.  We’ve got a tied-up news crew, a crooked food critic tied to some posts by a never ending army of baked bads, and they’re all in Palace De Vogses for some reason.”

Volpina scoffed.

“Well I bet I know what the Akuma wants if he is involved,” Volpina said, not taking her eyes off Fury.  “I’d bet my last dollar that that greasy slime ball threatened someone else.  Someone who couldn’t pay his blackmail money so he ruined their business on national television.  Their life is destroyed, Hawkmoth sniffs out their bad feelings, and bam.  Instant Akuma.”

“Sounds pretty likely to me,” Queen Bee agreed.  “But who did he ruin?  It would have to be someone who couldn’t afford to meet his price, right?”

“Or someone who’s to honorable to stoop to his level,” Volpina added.

‘So a commoner or an idiot.’ Queen Bee reasoned to herself. 

“Okay, so it’s probably a family owned business,” Queen Bee said, “and given the theme of the minion’s it’s probably a bakery or a…”  

She froze as she realized what she was describing.  Volpina seemed to have caught on too, and looked even more unhappy with the prospect than she was. 

“…Or a confectionary,” Volpina finished, her voice filled with dread.

“And if their all gathered here, then it’s probably somewhere close by…”

“Maybe even right next door…”

Both of them turned towards “Tom & Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie”

“Oh no...” 

The horror in Volpina’s voice was matched only by the pure indifference of Queen Bee’s expression.  Of course the Akuma was holed up in her most least favorite place in all of Paris.  Why wouldn’t it?  Today was officially kick-Chloe-while-she-was-down-day, and what better cherry on top then to make her (at least partially) responsible for helping save a Dupain-Cheng.  Oh well, at least she didn’t have to go in there. 

“We have to go in there,” Volpina said.

Queen Bee whipped around to stare at her. 

“Are you out of your mind?”

“No, listen!  The Akuma’s got to be in there, right?  Ladybug and Chat Noir have all his minion’s distracted down in the park.  There’s a rooftop entrance to the building, we can sneak in through there, find the Akuma, steal whatever it’s hiding in, and run it out to Ladybug so she can de-evilize it.  It’ll be perfect.”

Volpina smiled awkwardly in an attempt to sell the idea, but Queen Bee just gaped at her. 

“Volpina, we are completely outclassed here!  You can only use a few of your powers, and I can’t use mine at all!  Neither of us have been in a fight yet, and you want to go into a supervillain’s lair to steal his most treasured possession so we can take it to Ladybug, who is in the middle of a bake-room blitz by the way, so you can impress her?”  She put her hands to her face and took a deep breath and Volpina bit her lip.  “Look, I know you want to prove yourself, but this is suicide!”

“It’s not about that…” 

Volpina looked over the edge at Ladybug, who was wrestling with one of the foaming éclairs as it tried to attack her.  …in whatever way a giant soft fluffy pastry with no teeth or claws could attack a person. 

“Look I can’t explain why, but nobody else should go in there.  Or even know who the Akuma is if we can help it.  You just have to trust me on this, okay?” 

She tore her eyes away from the cream filled carnage below, and looked down at the miraculous around her neck. 

“I always wanted to be a superhero.  Fight the bad guys, save the day, the whole shebang.  But now that I’ve got it, I want to protect my friends and family most of all.  And that’s why I have to go into that bakery before Ladybug figures out who the Akuma is.  She gave me this chance.  I have to try to do right by her, and myself.”

She sighed and let go of the fox tail necklace. 

“But you’re right.  We are underpowered, you especially.  So you stay here and wait for me, while I go in and-“

“The hell I am!”

Volpina was taken aback by the sudden outburst.  Queen Bee grabbed her hands and looked her dead in the eye with that same determination she had shown earlier. 

“I may not be very useful right now, but I’ll wear orange polka dots on blue and green stripes before I let you go in there alone!  We’re partners, and if you say we need to go in there, then we’re going in there!

…just, let’s be very very careful about it?  Please?” She added, wilting a little.

Volpina couldn’t decide if she wanted to laugh in amusement or cry in appreciation, so she settled for just hugging the poor girl instead.  Queen Bee seemed to find this acceptable, and sank into the embrace happily. 

“You know, hugs are good,” she commented, lazily playing with Volpina’s ponytail. 

Volpina chuckled. 

“Hugs are awesome!”

She gave Queen Bee another squeeze before letting go.  Queen Bee giggled, feeling slightly tipsy from physical contact and the wonderful scent of Cinnamon and that other lovely smell still filling her nose.

“Careful now,” Queen Bee said, “Keep hugging a gay girl like that and she might start getting ideas.” 

She clapped a hand to her mouth and her face went pure scarlet under her mask as soon as she said it.  Volpina just laughed and scooped her up in her arms bridal style before Queen Bee could panic and fall off the building again. 

“You’re the one who ought to be careful,” she said, nearly purring into Queen Bee’s ear.  “Keep flirting with a bi girl like that, and she might start getting ideas.”

Queen Bee felt she could die happy after hearing those words. 

Volpina meanwhile had to laugh again at the dazed and goofy smile Queen Bee was wearing.  Then the little voice of her conscience, who sounded remarkably like Ladybug, started whispering in her ear that she had just made a horrible mistake.

“You know, I think I’d be okay with you getting those ideas,” Queen Bee flirted back, cuddling closer in her arms.

Volpina’s smiled died as she realized Queen Bee was being completely sincere.  She gulped and she wondered if she may have laid it on a little too thick, before turning to look away as the whispering in her ear became very angry screaming. 

Ladybug would most definitely not be happy with her if she found out she had been flirting with her knew “professional” partner.  She hadn’t really meant it of course, but it looked like Queen Bee hadn’t quite caught on to that little detail.  Volpina nervously weighed her options and decided it was probably better to just rip it off like a Band-Aid before things went any farther. 

“Uhm…  Seriously though, Queen Bee?”

“Hmm?”

Volpina turned back to face her partner, and met the biggest, happiest, most affectionate looking baby doll blue eyes she had ever seen, and realized that she was a truly horrible person for what she was about to do. 

“Uhm…  I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have led you on like that.”

She felt a jagged knife plunge into her heart and twist, as she watched the joy drain out of Queen Bee’s face like air from a leaky balloon. 

“…oh, you mean you’re not actually…?”

“Oh no, I am!  Bi, I mean.  Yeah totally.  Have been since the day I was born.” 

Hope began to return to Queen Bee’s face. 

“It’s just, you’re not really my… type.” 

And there it went.  Yep.  She was going to hell for this, and she deserved it. 

“I’m really sorry,” Volpina added quickly.  “It’s nothing against you!  You are super cute, like the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen!  It’s just… I’m more into-“

“It’s fine,” Queen Bee said softly, not looking at her.  “It’s fine, really.  It’s just not my day apparently.” 

Volpina bit her lip and felt the guilt twisting the knife a little more. 

“…I’m sorry.  That was a really mean thing to do, wasn’t it?”

“Ya think?”

“…I wasn’t thinking.  You were just so darn cute and I just-“

Queen Bee put a finger over Volpina’s lips to shut her up, but still refused to look at her. 

“Stop.  I get it.  You’re not interested, and you’re sorry.  Let’s just move on now.”

Volpina stood there still holding the slim girl in her arms, feeling like she was holding an angry wasp waiting to sting.

“…Do you… want me to put you down and leave you here now?”

Queen Bee turned her head slightly as if not sure she had heard correctly. 

“I said, do you want me to put you-“

She was interrupted by Queen Bee turning fully around to face her, and to her surprise, wrapping her arms around her neck.

“What did I just say about you not going into that bakery alone?” she growled. 

Volpina gulped. 

“Uhm…  that even though I’m a terrible human being, you’re still my partner and you’re such a beautiful and amazing person you’re still going to come and help me?”

“And don’t you forget it,” Queen Bee huffed, and adjusted herself to sit more comfortably in Volpina’s arms. 

Volpina let out a sigh of relief and Queen Bee flicked her on the nose. 

“Ow!”

“Don’t think I’ve forgiven you,” she said with a devilish smile.  “That was a very cruel thing you did, breaking a girl’s heart like that.  And I am an expert on very cruel things...” 

She let the sentence trail off with a promise of unspeakable suffering hanging in the air between them.

“N-noted,” Volpina squeaked. 

Queen Bee’s smile flashed to a pleasantly cheery one at her partner’s tremble of fear.

“Good.” 

Volpina blinked.  One thing was for sure, this girl was downright scary when you were on her bad side.  

Then Queen Bee’s smile began to fade away all together, and left her looking slightly wistful and somewhat forlorn.

“Actually, I am glad you told me you weren’t interested now, rather than waiting for me to get a full on crush on you first.  Better than me chasing after you in some one sided romance like some other superhero duos I could mention.” 

“My thoughts exactly,” Volpina echoed. 

She was just about to set off across the roofs for the bakery when a thought struck her. 

“You know what, I’m going to make it up to you.”

“Oh?”  Queen Bee arched an eyebrow. 

“Yeah!  I promise to find you the best girlfriend in all of Paris!”

Queen Bee blinked at her in surprise for a moment, then smiled sweetly. 

“You know, I think I’m going to hold you to that promise,” she said, booping Volpina on the nose.  “But good luck finding someone who’s up to my standards.”

“Oh I shall aim to please, your majesty.” 

A feline scream from below cut through the air.

“…We should probably get going on that Akuma first though.” Volpina said, adjusting Queen Bee and getting ready to leap over to the next roof. 

Queen Bee smiled devilishly again.  

“Ehe, probably.”

“…shut up.”

Chapter Text

In which the Volpina is optimistic, Queen Bee looks at the big picture, and sometimes you just gotta roll with it.

When it came to being rescued and swept off her feet, Chloe was an expert. 

At the top of the list of course, was Ladybug.  Absolutely nobody rescued her like Ladybug did.  The strength, the safety, the certainty that everything was going to be all right the moment she was swept up in those strong red and black arms; Ladybug could rescue the world’s most rabid dog, and it would become completely docile the moment she picked it up. 

Next on the list was Serge, though it had been years since he had actually carried Chloe anywhere.  When she was a kid, Serge was always the one to pick her up and carry her home when she stayed late at the Agreste mansion.  Actually, Aunt Sophia was always the one who picked her up, but it was always to hug her goodnight and give her back to Serge.  She couldn’t count the number of times she had fallen asleep with her cheek on his shoulder. 

Chat Noir had never been particularly high on the list.  Knowing who he was now elevated him a little bit, but when he carried her to safety, it was just to get her to safety; there was no charm or elegance to it.  If ladybug was a lavish limousine, and Serge was a long used family car, then Chat Noir was a taxi.  He got you where you needed to be, but the ride was a bit uncomfortable, and it smelled a little like old cheese. 

Volpina however….

“You know, I think that little midair flip at the end might have been a bit unnecessary,” Queen Bee commented as they landed on the rooftop garden of the bakery. 

Volpina was a motorcycle.  She was wild, exciting, a little scary, and (Queen Bee had to admit,) sexy.  There was a fire in her eyes as she ran that made Queen Bee cling to her for dear life.  Volpina was going somewhere, and Queen Bee was only along for the ride.  Every time they leapt over a gap, Volpina looked down.  Not out of fear, but as if she were daring gravity to just try to pull them down to earth.  She seemed ready to take on the world if she had to, and have the time of her life doing it.  Needless to say, the short trip had taken Queen Bee’s breath away in more ways than one.

She might even have replaced Serge to the number two spot on the list, if Queen Bee wasn’t still a bit hurt and angry with her from earlier. 

“Sorry,” Volpina said, smiling and looking only slightly ashamed.  “It’s just, moving like that feels so great!  Ladybug’s always telling me to take it slow and do things safely, but a superhero’s supposed to have flair, isn’t she?”

Queen Bee rolled her eyes. 

“You and Plagg would get along great.”

“Plagg?”

“Chat Noir’s Kwami,” Queen Bee replied quickly, looking around at the roof.  “This is… quaint.” 

“Yeah, it’s not bad,” Volpina said, missing the subtle sting in Queen Bee’s choice of words.  “Hard to imagine there’s an evil Akuma just three stories below.  Maybe we got it wrong?”

Volpina looked at her optimistically.  Before Queen Bee could do more than raise an eyebrow, there was a loud clattering of bells as the door to the bakery below them was thrown open.  They both peeked over the edge and saw a line of gibbering macaroons run out of the bakery and head towards the park. 

“So, is constantly putting your foot in your mouth another superpower, or does it just come naturally to you?” Queen Bee asked, watching the freshly baked minions go. 

Volpina groaned and grabbed at her face again.  Queen Bee smirked in satisfaction before looking over at the park thoughtfully. 

“Still, that explains why there always seems to be more of them.  The Akuma must be turning them out by the dozen.”  She turned back to Volpina.  “So, what’s the plan?”

Volpina grumbled and walked over to the trapdoor leading inside. 

“We get in, we get the Akuma, and get out,” she said sourly. 

She was about to open the trapdoor when Queen Bee grabbed her wrist.

“And we do it very carefully, remember?” she asked.

Volpina looked up at her.  Queen Bee looked nervous, but she was trying to hide it.  Volpina sighed and then smiled reassuringly, and put her hand over Queen Bee’s. 

“Right.  Don’t worry, I’m sure this’ll be a piece of cake.”

Queen Bee made a face. 

“That is not at all reassuring today.”

Volpina gave her a helpless little shrug, and pulled open the trap door.

As the two of them descended into Marinette’s room, Queen Bee felt her skin crawl.  She imagined most people would have the same reaction walking into her penthouse.  If there was one person in Paris she hated, and felt completely justified in hating, it was… well it was probably Hawkmoth now that she thought about it.  But if there was a second person in Paris she hated and felt completely justified in hating, it was Marinette Dupan-Chang. 

Her hatred only grew as she got a good look at the bedroom they were sneaking into.  The room was comprised of mainly three things: sewing supplies, pictures of Marinette’s friends and family (several of them just of Adrien,) and the color pink.  It was everywhere.  The walls were pink, the sofa was pink, the carpet was pink, the air even smelled pink somehow, no doubt due to a flowery pink air freshener hidden in a pink corner somewhere.  Queen Bee had to pause on the stairs and spend a few seconds just scowling at the room. 

It worked.  Though she would never admit it, the slightly varying shades of pink and other colors used sparingly about the room just made it work.   Marinette knew how to use a theme, and Queen Bee hated it.  It wasn’t right that someone like Marinette had legitimate talent.  But then again, her own father was one of the most successful men she knew, next to Uncle Gabriel maybe.  It seemed the blacker your heart the more likely you were to succeed in life. 

Life sucked.

“Are you okay?”

She blinked and realized she had been lingering in her angry thoughts too long.  Volpina was already on the bottom floor of the three tiered room, and was looking up at her with her head slightly cocked to one side.  Queen Bee shook her head and continued down too. 

“Yeah, I just…  Pink’s not my color.” 

Not her best lie, but Volpina just pursed her lips and looked around the room. 

“Yeah… she’s sure got a thing for it, doesn’t she?  Never did get the appeal of it myself.  I was always more of a fall colors kind of girl.” 

“Pity you shot me down earlier,” Queen Bee said, strolling past her.  “Else I’d say how much I’d love to see you in nothing but flesh tones.” 

Volpina focused her attention on a nearby sewing machine and bit her lower lip, fighting a smile and trying to keep down a light blush.  Queen Bee paused for a moment at the second trap door before turning around to look back at Volpina with a puzzled expression. 

“Am I doing that right?  Like, I know you’re not interested, but the flirting…  Am I doing that right?”

Volpina looked at her blankly.  Queen Bee took it as a bad sign, while in reality Volpina’s mind had simply been completely overridden by a single word. 

‘Cute.’

“It’s just, I never flirted with a girl before today,” Queen Bee explained, beginning to play with her fingers.  “I’ve never honestly flirted with anyone, really.  I mean, I know how to flirt of course!  But not with someone I actually like.  Not that I like you!  I mean, I do, but I know that you don’t like me, so I’m not going to, you know…  I just, you seem to know how to do it, so if you could give me some pointers or something, that would be… nice.”  

She trailed off, still playing with her hands and looking at every part of the room that wasn’t occupied by her partner.  Volpina meanwhile was fighting a small war with herself as she resisted the urge to squeal and scoop the nervous girl up so she could start cuddling her again. 

After a few deep breaths, and reminding herself that she had already messed up and hurt Queen Bee once already, she decided she could be trusted within arm’s reach of her partner again, and purposefully strode past Queen Bee and over to the second trap door leading down into the main house. 

“You’d probably come on a little too strong with a line like that,” she said, pointedly not looking at Queen Bee. 

“But, that was still pretty smooth.  For a rookie,” she added, looking over her shoulder and giving Queen Bee a small smirk. 

Queen Bee beamed at the praise.  She did a little arm pump and whispered “yes!” to herself.  Volpina could feel her resolve slipping away by the nanosecond, so she quickly looked back down at the trap door and cleared her throat.

“Okay, Dating for Lesbian’s 101 is over for now.  Time to focus on the mission.” 

“Right,” Queen Bee agreed and gave her a quick salute. 

Volpina said a quick prayer to beg the powers that be to give her strength, and the two headed down into the rest of the house.   

Truth be told, both of them had half expected the downstairs to have become some impossibly large maze made out of gingerbread or something.  Instead, they found a perfectly normal house.  Queen Bee guarded the stairs while Volpina did a quick check of the second floor for any clue or hint of the Akuma.  She returned giving Queen Bee a disappointed shrug. 

They continued down the stairs to the small hallway connecting the house to the bakery, as well as the small side door to the street.  From inside the store, they could hear the sounds of a man’s voice talking enthusiastically to himself.  Volpina put a hand on the doorknob and looked meaningfully at Queen Bee, putting a finger to her own lips.  Queen Bee nodded, and quietly as possible, they pushed open the door. 

However, the door had been installed by a complete moron, (most likely the owners, Queen Bee guessed,) because it opened out into the bakery, and away from the interior.  Queen Bee was certain that violated at least two safety regulations, as well as plain common sense in design.  She cursed silently to herself for leaving her purse back in the nurse’s office, as her hand mirror would have been perfect for peeking around the stupidly designed door.  Instead, in order to get a look at anything other than a brick wall, they had to open the door conspicuously wide, and poke their heads around it.  They kept low to the ground, trying to preserve what little stealth they could, meaning Queen Bee had to practically lay across Volpina’s back to get a look.

Which led Queen Bee to decide that maybe who ever put in the door wasn’t so stupid after all.

Queen Bee was unable to truly enjoy herself however, partially because pressing her body into someone she knew wasn’t interested was still awkward, (even if they did smell fantastic,) but mostly because of the strange sight that awaited them on the other side of the door. 

The store itself was just as it had always been.  Fresh bread and pastries lined the shelves, light poured in cheerily from the large windows, the smells of warm baguettes and light fluffy croissants filled the air.  The actual baking area however had undergone quite a makeover.  Any electric lights inside had been turned off, and several black candles had been lit about the room.  The wooden table Tom used to roll out his dough had been converted into a cross between a 17^th century alchemical laboratory, and the set of a cooking show. 

A cloaked figure stood chanting at the table.  In one hand he held a plane looking wooden rolling pin, while in the other he held a large book wrought in a heavy iron frame and lock, making it look like the grimoire of some ancient wizard.  The figure himself was large and bulky, and stood behind the table in profile to them. The heavy hood of his dark robes hid his face in shadow, and fortunately also kept them from his peripheral vision.  He also wore a small white chefs hat on top of his hood, and a white cotton apron around his waist, which clashed almost comedically with the rest of his dark and mysterious appearance. 

“I think we found our Akuma,” Volpina whispered in Queen Bee’s ear. 

“Either that, or the Grim Reaper is getting ready for a bake sale,” she whispered back. 

They continued to watch as the figure waved the rolling pin over a mixing bowl and chanted phrases like, “One and one fourth cups of dry active yeast, two teaspoons of sugar, a pinch of salt!” then bursting out into a maniacal cackle. 

After about two or three of these laugh breaks, the figure finished reading his “incantation,” and the contents of the bowl glowed and swirled up into the air.  The bits of various baking components manifested into half a dozen giant croissant soldiers, which stood still and lifeless in front of the cloaked figure.  He pointed his rolling pin at them. 

“Go my creations!  Go see that that detestable taster remains where he is!  And make sure Ladybug and Chat Noir are ready to taste my ultimate revenge as well!”

The croissants flew into a frenzy and charged out the door.  Well, most of them did; one of the little monsters managed to trip and impale itself on its own spatula on its’ way out.  It lay on the ground, completely motionless with the spatula sticking through it as its fellows ran around it and out the door.  The last croissant paused next to its fallen comrade, and regarded the spatula for a moment before ripping it out.  It held its newly acquired weapon in the air and screamed with delight before following the rest of its troops out the door, wildly swinging both of its weapons in berserk joy as it went. 

The girls watched as the hole punched in the fallen croissant began to mend, and a few seconds later the evil edible jerked back to life and leapt to its feet.  It looked around for its stolen weapon before running out the door, gibbering furiously and shaking its fist. 

“Did you see that?” Volpina whispered again.  “That thing was down for the count!  They must be weak to their own weapons.”

“Maybe,” Queen Bee whispered back uncertainly.  “But remember the ones in the park?  They didn’t get up until all of their pieces were in place, remember?  I think that the spatula kept it from healing all the way, and that’s why it couldn’t get up.  Like those old Christmas lights, the ones where if one bulb died then the whole string went out?” 

“This is magical warfare, not party decorations,” Volpina snapped back.  “I bet it’s the weapons.  It’s more poetic that way.” 

“And I say it just has to impale them,” Queen Bee snapped back.

Before they could begin to argue like an old married couple, and likely blow their cover, the front door to the bakery opened with a sad ringing of its abused bell. 

“Honey, I’m back!  You would not believe the lines at the…”

The door closed behind Sabine Cheng as she stood stalk still at the front of her bakery, holding several large grocery bags.  Before her was the recognizable bulk of her husband, standing behind a strange mess of beakers, tubes, and open containers of sugar, looking like he was ready to go to a Halloween party.  Off to her left, were the unrecognizable masked faces of two strange girls peeking out from behind the door to her house.  All three of them seemed just as surprised to see her as she was to see them.

After blinking at the strange scene taking place in her bakery, Sabine simply gave a little shrug and carried on.  She walked around the table of culinary alchemy and handed the grocery bags to her Akumatized husband and began digging around in them. 

“I got you another bottle of maraschino cherries since you said you were low.  Oh, and mixed berries were on sale so I got a few boxes of those.  I figured even if you didn’t need them we could always have some with breakfast this week.”

“Excellent,” her husband cackled as she set the ingredients down on the table for him.   “These are just what I needed!  Soon, my revenge will be complete!  That fool Dude Fury will rue the day he crossed THE NECROBA-Oh wait, um… you didn’t happen to pick up some more marshmallow fluff too, did you?”

Sabine held up a jar of it. 

“Perfect!  Now my revenge will be complete!  And that fool Dude Fury will rue the day he crossed THE NECROBAKER!”  Tom through back his cloaked head and cackled evilly, still carrying his wife’s grocery bags. 

“That’s nice dear,” Sabine said, taking the groceries back.  “I’m just going to go upstairs and put this away before the ice cream melts.  Have fun enacting your revenge.”

“Thanks Honeybunch!” 

The Nekrobaker kissed his wife on the cheek and went back to his evil work.  Sabine turned around just in time to see a pair of orange ears and black antennae disappear behind the door.  She walked over to it and pulled the door open the rest of the way with her foot.  She stepped inside to see the two masked strangers huddled up next to the stairs, looking awkwardly from her to each other. 

“Hello girls,” Sabine said after closing the door behind her.  “Could one of you please tell me what is going on?”

After introducing themselves as Paris’s newest superhero team, the two of them followed Sabine upstairs and Volpina recapped everything that had happened, as well as what she suspected had happened to turn Tom into and Akuma.  As she finished, Sabine went over to the window and looked over at the park swarming with her husband’s handy work. 

“That no good scoundrel,” Sabine cursed.  “Who does he think he is?  Trying to bully money out of people like that; it’s just down right rotten!  I’ll tell you one thing for sure, I’m certainly never watching his show again.”

“I doubt that cockroach will even have a show after this,” Volpina said, wickedly.  “Once it gets out that he’s been blackmailing the places he reviews, I doubt he’ll be able to get a job on an infomercial.”

“Of course, that’ll also put bad press on anyone he did give a good review too,” Queen Bee interrupted.  “If those network affiliates have any brains at all, they’re going to try to twist this around to say that the restaurants offered the bribes to him, and try to sue.  Sure, you’ll save the little places like this that couldn’t pay, but what about the ones like Le Grand Paris?  If this gets out, Le Grand Paris will get sued for bribery, Chef Cesaire will be made into a scapegoat, and she’ll be fired and blacklisted from every restaurant in Europe, along with every other owner of an establishment that appeared on that show.”

Volpina gaped at Queen Bee as she finished her grim “big picture” analyses of the situation. 

“But… No!  No, My mo- I mean, Chef Cesaire doesn’t own Le Grand, the Mayor does!  He’s the one who will get burned when it comes out that he paid a bribe.  Oh, this is going to be perfect.” 

Volpina smiled and rubbed her hands together while Queen Bee sighed.

“You said the money to pay Dude Fury’s bribe came out of the Head Chef’s pay, remember?  The Mayor didn’t just do that to slight her, he did that so any paper trail for the bribe could be traced back to her.  His lawyer’s probably already have an iron clad case written up to peg her for any scandal that pops up.  They’re very good at shifting the blame like that.” 

Volpina stared at her with her mouth agape, while Queen Bee looked pointedly out the window.

“You girls certainly seem well informed,” Sabine said, looking from one to the other. 

They both flinched. 

“Uhm, well, er, gotta keep up on current events, you know,” Volpina said crossing her arms and trying to lean casually against the kitchen counter. 

“A superhero has to look at the grand scheme of things,” Queen Bee said easily, pretending to admire her nails, despite the fact that she was wearing gloves. 

Sabine smiled at them. 

“Well, don’t forget, you two have lady luck on your side.  Ladybug luck, in fact.  As long as you two do the right thing I’m sure it’ll all work out.  Although it certainly doesn’t hurt to be prepared…” 

Sabine put a finger to her lips and thought for a moment before nodding to herself and heading for the bedroom. 

“I’m going to make a few phone calls, could you girls go downstairs and take care of my wayward husband?  That cookbook he was holding has been passed down for generations.  Just tear it apart and I’m sure you’ll find one of those butterfly things.  Oh, and don’t be afraid to be a little ruff with him if you need to,” she added with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.  “Tom used to be quite the rugby player in high school, and anyway he could use the exercise.  Have fun!”

And with that, she closed the door to her bedroom and left the two new superheroes staring after her. 

“This family is weird, right?  It’s not just me?”  Queen Bee asked, turning to Volpina.

Volpina just held up her hand and made a little “maybe” gesture.   

Back at the bottom of the stairs, Volpina went over her plan with Queen Bee. 

“Alright, I’m gonna rush in there and smash up his little laboratory so he can’t make any more of his minions.  Then, while he’s distracted with that, I’ll grab the book away from him and run back here.  We beat feet upstairs, run back across the rooftops to Ladybug, I throw it down to her, she de-evilizes the Akuma, and mission accomplished!”

“And then Dude Fury causes no end of problems for either the bakery, or La Grand Paris,” Queen Bee deadpanned.  “And that’s if your plan doesn’t go catastrophically wrong in any one of a thousand ways I can think of off the top of my head.” 

Volpina groaned and ground her teeth. 

“Well it’s not like I’m hearing any great plans from you!”

“You didn’t ask.  You just started declaring you were going to go in and start smashing stuff and that that would somehow fix everything.”

Volpina glared at her, while Queen Bee crossed her arms and stared back coolly.  Volpina’s glare began to falter, and she forced herself to look down at the floor instead, her hands squeezed into trembling fists.  Queen Bee sighed and uncrossed her arms.  Fighting with her partner wasn’t going to help the situation, and she knew it. 

“Look I’m… I’m sorry.  I can tell you’re really invested in this for some reason, but you're letting your emotions do the thinking, and it’s going to get you or someone else hurt.   Or worse, caught and get your miraculous stolen!  I don’t want to lose my partner on my first day.  I mean, who’d help me find a girlfriend?”

Queen Bee nudged her playfully and forced herself to let out a hollow laugh.  Volpina sighed and looked at her, her expression now more ashamed then angry.  She turned her head and looked back at the door, pursing her lips at it in thought.  After a minute she turned back to Queen Bee. 

“So, what do you think we should do?”

Queen Bee frowned and gave the door a distasteful look. 

“Personally, I think we should just get out of here and get Ladybug and Chat Noir.”

Volpina shook her head. 

“I already told you, we can’t let Ladybug know.”

“That’s if she hasn’t figured it out already,” Queen Bee lamented.  She sighed and continued.  “But, if you insist we have to do this by ourselves, then fine.  I think we should try your illusions again.  If we can get him out of there, and out in the open, I think we have a much better chance of snagging that book and getting away without him seeing us.”

Volpina thought for a moment and nodded.

“Alright, I think I might be able to make it look like the bakery caught on fire behind him.  That should flush him out.  But I’ll need to get another look at that room first.”

Queen Bee gave her a thumbs up, and Volpina nodded with a smile.  She went over to the door again while Queen Bee hung back; less faces meant less chance of being seen.  Volpina cracked open the door and poked her head around.  From inside the room came the sound of rushing winds, and the voice of the Nekrobaker screaming over it. 

“Rise my ultimate creation!  Rise!  Rise my Antibug Devil!  Rise and crush my enemies like ground nutmeg beneath your-“

Volpina withdrew her head quickly and snapped the door shut.  She stood perfectly still for several seconds before turning around to face Queen Bee.

“…So plan C, right?” 

Chapter Text

In which everything goes wrong.

“Volpina, what’s on the other side of the door?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m feeling quite worried about it actually.” 

Volpina nervously looked back at the door she was standing in front of and bit her lip. 

“Look, the good news is, I think the Akuma is going to be out in the open soon.”

Queen Bee raised an eyebrow.

“And the bad news?”

“…You know, optimism is an important quality for a superhero.”

Queen Bee rolled her eyes, and the mad cackling on the other side of the door reached a fever pitch.  Volpina looked back at the door again, then grabbed Queen Bee by the shoulders. 

“Look we’re out of time, okay?  We need a new plan, and we need it now!”

Queen Bee’s eyes slid to the door behind her frantic partner.  Part of her wondered what Volpina was trying to hide from her, but that part of her was quickly told to shut up and mind its own business.   

“Okay well, we still need to get the book away from him, right?  If he’s going to be outside like you said, then that works to our advantage, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, but even if I could get it away from him, I doubt I’m going to get very far with it now,” Volpina said, looking nervously at the door again.  Then she looked back at Queen Bee and her eyes lit up.  “But I might be able to get it to you!”

Queen Bee frowned. 

“What good with that do?  There’s no way I could get to Ladybug and Chat Noir.”

“No, but you could destroy it and free the Akuma!” 

“What!?”  Queen Bee pulled away.  “Are you nuts?  Do you remember what happened the last time an Akuma was set free without being de-evilized!?”   

“Queenie, we are out of time!  If we free the Akuma then all its magic will stop!  Sure, it’ll get away and probably infect dozens of people across Paris, and create an army of unstoppable cookie monsters, but the army of unstoppable cookie monsters we have now will go away, and Ladybug and Chat Noir won’t be sacrificed to a blood thirsty demon spawned from the pits of hell’s kitchen,” she said, pointing at the door to the bakery. 

“A what!?”

Volpina winced and shook her head. 

“Never mind.  Look, just get up to the roof and destroy the book when I throw it to you.  Go!” 

She shoved Queen Bee towards the stairs and ran back to the door to peek inside the bakery again.  Queen Bee looked at her hesitantly for a moment, then tore her eyes away and bolted up the stairs. 

She burst out onto Marinette’s rooftop garden less than a minute later.  The first thing she did was to check on the situation at the park.  Surprisingly, Ladybug and Chat Noir hadn’t been captured yet, though the situation had by no means improved. 

The evil edibles were still keeping Chat Noir and Ladybug separated from one another, and they seemed to be focusing on wearing the superheroes down, rather than out right over powering them.  They kept a wide ring around Ladybug and Chat Noir, with one or two of them jumping in at a time to keep them constantly fighting to defend themselves.  Even at a distance, it was clear that the constant battle was starting to take its toll on the heroes.  The unending assault was keeping them from using their super powers, and their movements were becoming slower and wilder by the minute.  At this rate Ladybug and Chat Noir might change back without even using their powers, or just collapse from pure exhaustion.  Queen Bee bit her lip.  Volpina had been right; destroying the Akuma’s hiding place and stopping its magic was the only chance they had now. 

Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking glass and shattering stone, and the building trembled beneath her feat.  Queen Bee had been chased by enough Akumas to know the sound of a wall being smashed away when she heard it.  She quickly moved to the front of the bakery to see what had happened, and sure enough, the entire front half of the store had been blown outward as if hit by a bomb.  Bits of bread and shelving lay scattered on the street, amidst shards of broken glass and bits of crumbled brick and mortar.  As the dust settled, Queen Bee heard the heavy crunch of footsteps from inside the ruined bakery, and as she looked down, a hulking, lumbering, thing slowly came into view. 

She was reminded vaguely of Adrien’s bodyguard.  Like Gorilla, it was shaped mostly like a human being, but it stood nearly eight feet tall, and five feet broad at the shoulders.  Its entire body was covered in what looked like dozens of pure red eyes, that bulged out of its dark brown, nearly black skin.  A mound of flesh piled between its shoulders seemed to act as a head, though it had no face that she could understand.  Limbs thick as tree trunks sprouted from its enormous torso, with stout legs that trudged forward in slow, rhythmic steps, and deadly looking arms that seemed capable of crushing anything that stood in its way.  It was a juggernaut, built for the sole purpose of being the most powerful and terrifying thing its creator was capable of conjuring. 

 And the warm smell wafting up from it was positively mouthwatering. 

All it took was one sniff for her to identify the creature below as a walking, eight foot tall, Cherry-Chocolate Devil’s Food Cake.  As she looked closer, she realized that the red “eyes” covering the creature were actually just giant bits of maraschino cherries, though she could understand why Volpina had been frightened of it after only getting a quick look.  Still, there was something oddly familiar about it.  She frowned.  What had the Necrobaker been chanting earlier? 

Her eyebrows shot up as she realized exactly what she was looking at.

‘Oh!  So that’s what it was going to be...’

Several weeks ago, Tom & Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie had done a special promotion in celebration of Ladybug and Chat Noir’s anniversary as the protectors of Paris.  Marinette had brought nearly everyone in the class a sweet themed after their Akumatized self.  Everyone from “Stoneheart” to “Princess Fragrance” had gotten their own cupcake, turnover, or cookie, except “Antibug.”  Even “Vanisher” had been given a transparent treat, but when Chloe had uninterestedly wondered where hers was, Marinette had played the victim again, and told her that her parent’s bakery wasn’t allowed to release it, due to the mayor forbidding them from doing so.  When she had asked her father if this was true, he had confirmed the story (much to her surprise,) saying that it would be best if everyone forgot about the Antibug incident. 

Despite her father’s protests, Queen Bee couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride as she looked down at the monstrosity modeled after her image.  Nobody else had gotten a full cake made after them, and going by what she was seeing and smelling, it would have been an amazing cake too.  The cherry halves decorating the dark chocolate frosting looked just like the outfit she had worn as Antibug, though as she watched, she realized that wasn’t the only similarity between the monster below, and her Akumatized self.   As the Antibug Devil left the ruins of the bakery it had smashed apart, Queen Bee saw it was dragging a six-foot-long, silver serving knife with one hand.  The sheer size of the weapon reminded her of the oversized junkheap of a sword she had summoned with her Anti-Charm. 

She smiled.  Magic yoyo’s and extendible staffs were fine for defense, and they did hold a certain charm and sophistication, but there was just something pure about hitting somebody you didn’t like with several pounds of sharp metal.

And the best part was, you only had to hit them once… 

Queen Bee shook her head, trying to clear her mind of such thoughts since Ladybug probably wouldn’t approve of them.  She looked back down and watched as the Necrobaker emerged, following behind his “ultimate creation,” and seemingly unconcerned with the damage done to the bakery.  He appeared to have left his rolling pin wand behind, but she could just see him carrying the iron wrought book under his arm.   

A flash of red and black off towards the park caught her eye, and she looked over to see that Ladybug had finally managed to fight her way close enough to the park’s exit to leap over the remaining minions and break free of them.  Chat Noir pole-vaulted over to her a second later, and together, they faced the jeering army of baked monstrosities in front of them, unaware that the worst of the batch was slowly lumbering up from behind.

Queen Bee bit her lip, wondering if she should shout a warning to them and risk attracting unwelcome attention.  Fortunately, the Necrobaker seemed uninterested in trying to take the heroes by surprise.    

“Ladybug!  So nice to see more celebrities show up to my little bake sale of revenge!”

Ladybug and Chat Noir whipped their heads around to face the Necrobaker and his towering bodyguard.  Chat Noir looked frantically from the monsters in front of them to the monster behind, trying to decide which was the bigger threat.  Ladybug on the other hand just… stopped. 

Queen Bee watched in confusion as her hero just froze up and stared at the Necrobaker, her yoyo spinning to a stop and hanging forgotten and useless from her hand.  Chat Noir also noticed her lock up and began calling her name, trying to snap her out of it.  She didn’t seem to hear him.  Worried, Chat Noir took one hand off his staff to shake her by the shoulder. 

It was a costly mistake.

The Necrobaker made a beckoning gesture with one hand, and the entire army of baked bads behind them surged forth.  They tackled the flat footed heroes to the ground.  Ladybug’s arm and yoyo were pinned beneath her by several hundred pounds of minions, and Chat Noir’s staff flew out of his hand and was sent clattering away.  The two of them were pinned under a dog pile of killer sweets, completely trapped.  …Again. 

Even as she struggled to free herself, Ladybug stared at the Akuma and the destroyed bakery behind him in horror and disbelief.  Queen Bee had no idea why Ladybug was acting so shocked, but clearly Volpina had been right about not wanting to let her know who the Akuma was, though it was too late now. 

Speaking of her partner, Queen Bee looked around for any sign of Volpina.  As the Necrobaker began to monolog and demand that Ladybug surrender her miraculous, (same old same old,) Queen Bee saw a flash of light from around the corner of the house.  She went around the edge of the roof and looked down to see Volpina sneaking out the side door.  She looked up and saw Queen Bee looking down at her, and waved at Queen Bee to get back and stay out of sight.  Queen Bee crouched low over the wall to hide herself, but stood up again in surprise when Volpina started heading straight towards the Necrobaker!  He had his back to her admittedly, but the army of minions pinning Ladybug and Chat Noir were looking right in her direction.  Her foolhardy and brightly colored partner was bound to be spotted any second!  

Only… she wasn’t. 

Volpina was creeping up on her target, walking on tip toes, in full view of an entire army, and not even a hint of alarm had been raised.  It was as if Volpina was completely invisible to everyone, except for Queen Bee.  As she wondered if Volpina had somehow bribed the army of minions into staying silent, she saw Volpina pass over some of the smashed out bakery window.  From Queen Bee’s vantagepoint, the broken glass was as good as a mirror, but as Volpina passed in front of the broken shards, only her lower half was reflected!  The shards that should have showed the rest of her only reflected blue sky.  Queen Bee squinted, and could just make out the faint outline of some kind of transparent barrier dividing the shards that had reflected Volpina’s bright orange costume, and the ones that didn’t.  Now that she had spotted it, Queen Bee was able to follow the nearly invisible barrier from the side door Volpina had exited from, to a point some four feet behind where the Necrobaker was standing. 

It took a few more seconds, but eventually she worked out what was happening.   

“Not bad, Foxy,” Queen Bee complimented under her breath, and crouched back down to wait. 

Down on the street, Volpina whispered a barely audible thank you to Trixx for telling her to look up stage magic during her spare time.  The art of illusion was as old as Trixx herself, and Alya’s phone was an excellent resource for looking up the how-tos of almost every magic trick ever performed.  The one she was using now was the simplest trick of them all: the painted back drop. 

Of course, using magic to create a perfect living replica of the space behind someone was on a slightly higher level than dropping a black curtain over a black background to make someone disappear from a box, but the principle was the same. 

Her “curtain” stopped just a few feet behind the Necrobaker, just far enough away that he wouldn’t break the illusion in case he swung his hand behind him in some grand theatrical movement, but still too far away for her to be able to reach the book without being seen.  When she had nearly come to the end of her illusion, she stopped and looked back up at the roof.  The crouched figure of Queen Bee gave her a thumbs up to show she was ready, and Volpina swallowed and gave her one back.  Everything was in place.  Now all she had to do was grab a very heavy looking book away from a revenge crazed supervillain, with his armed bodyguard standing less than three feet away, and chuck it up to the roof of a three-story building, so her partner could somehow destroy it, and release an evil butterfly that would inevitably turn dozens of people across Paris into more Akumas later on. 

Minor details aside, Volpina was feeling pretty confident in her plan, until a low flying pigeon coming from the park caught scent of the freshly baked bread scattered about the ruins of the bakery. 

Volpina’s illusion may have been subtle, but it was big, and when it burst it created a large wall of orange smoke that, while extremely brief, still caught the attention of everyone around it.  Including the Necrobaker and his towering monstrosity, who turned around to find one of Paris’s newest superheroes standing behind them, frozen in place while making grabby hands at the book he was holding, and looking like a deer caught in oncoming headlights.  She looked at the crowd of superheroes, minions, and supervillains looking back at her before quickly straightening up and putting her hands behind her back, trying to look innocent. 

“Uh… hi,” she said, awkwardly smiling and waving at them all.  

She was saved an awkward explanation when the Antibug Devil suddenly grabbed hold of her neck with surprising speed and strength.  Its massive hand lifted her up by the throat as her eyes bulged and she frantically tried to free herself.  The spongey body of the cake monster wasn’t firm enough to fully constrict her windpipe, but its sticky chocolate frosting skin made it impossible to wriggle free.  Her attempts to claw the hand away were futile as well.  Her fingers left deep gashes in the monster’s hand, but they healed up so quickly it was like trying to tear apart a puddle of mud.  Before she knew what was happening, the monster lifted Volpina over its mound of a head, and smashed her down into the asphalt at its feet.

“Volpina!” 

Ladybug screamed her name as the asphalt cracked, and then cratered under her body as she made contact with the earth.  As the monster standing over her stepped back to admire its handiwork, Volpina coughed and rolled over onto her side, trying to suck air into her empty lungs.  She clutched at her bruised throat and tried not to cough again and injure it further.  The wind was knocked out of her, she could only see stars, and she was sure she’d have some pretty nasty bruises for the next couple of days, but her suit had saved her from the worst of the impact.

The Necrobaker wasn’t interested in giving her time to catch her breath.  He signaled to his minions, and four of them rushed forward from the pile on Ladybug and Chat Noir to pounce on her.  They pulled her roughly up by the arms, and dragged her over to kneel before the Necrobaker.  Volpina coughed painfully and tried to struggle against her captors, but in her still dazed state, and with two of the unnaturally strong monsters on each arm, she could do little to fight them off.

Hawkmoth’s symbol appeared over the Necrobaker’s hooded face, and she heard his smooth, smug voice speak out from it, just as it had done when he had Akumatized her. 

“Well, well, who do we have here?  You look almost like one of my old creations, though I think that necklace of yours holds more than one of my little Akumas.  Have you found another fool to help you, Ladybug?”

The possessed Necrobaker turned to face Ladybug, who snarled at him in rage. 

“Let her go Hawkmoth!  She’s got nothing to do with this!  Let her go!”

“My, such anger!” Hawkmoth said, in mock surprise.  “Clearly this one is important to you.  Well, I might be willing to trade her freedom, for say, a Miraculous or two!” 

“Not on your life, you coward!” Chat Noir answered back, but Ladybug looked unsure. 

“Not on my life?”  Hawkmoth taunted.  “Very well, but what about hers?  Necrobaker!”

The Necrobaker gestured to the Antibug Devil.  He stepped away as the towering monster took his place in front of Volpina’s kneeling form.  She glared up at it defiantly, and, after coughing a few more times, she found her voice. 

“That over grown birthday cake doesn’t scare me!” she yelled, still struggling to get free of the four gingerbread men clinging to her arms.  “There’s no way I’m handing over my miraculous!” 

“Oh, my dear girl, I had no intention of asking you for it.”  Hawkmoth’s voice nearly purred.  “I am only interested in the Ladybug earrings and Chat Noir’s ring.  That little trinket around your neck is of no consequence to me.  You, on the other hand, may be invaluable, though not to me of course.  What do you say, Ladybug?  Her life, for your Miraculous?”

“Oh, give it up Hawk-creep!”  Volpina interrupted.  “You’ve never so much as given anyone a bloody nose!  You and your Akuma’s have never hurt anybody.  And even if they did, Ladybug would just fix them up again with her magic once she beats you.  Like she always does!” 

Volpina grinned confidently at the Necrobaker, but her expression faltered when she looked back at Ladybug.  She had stopped struggling to get out from underneath the pile of minions, and looked just as scared and unsure as she had been on her first day on top of the stadium.  Chat Noir was looking a bit worried himself, though that may have been mostly due to Ladybug’s reaction.  Volpina felt a little trickle of fear begin to well up inside her too. 

“You have a point.”

Hawkmoth’s voice was soft and thoughtful, but the danger in it commanded attention. 

“The ineffectiveness of my previous Akumas is beginning to undermine me.  I think a demonstration of power is in order.  Young lady, allow me to show my appreciation to you for bringing this to my attention.”

Hawkmoth’s emblem disappeared from the Necrobaker’s face, and the Akuma suddenly convulsed and bent over.  When he straightened up again, his posture was different.  He stood much straighter, and something about him seemed infinitely crueler.  When he spoke, it was with the Necrobaker’s voice, but his words and his cadence were unmistakably that of Hawkmoth’s. 

“Up until now, I have allowed my Akuma’s to act on their own, while I simply guided them.  But, by using the full extent of my power, I can take complete control of them for a limited time.  This control does come with certain… risks,” he said, watching himself flexing his fingers experimentally.  “But with all three of you so indisposed, there seems I have little to worry about.” 

Hawkmoth waved the Necrobaker’s hand and the Antibug Devil picked up its giant serving knife, and placed the edge of the blade just over Volpina’s head. 

“Despite my best efforts, most of my Akumas lack the necessary conviction to kill.  I, however, do not.  You are going to die now, whoever you are, and then I am going to dispel my Akuma myself.  With no Akuma to de-evilize, Ladybug will be unable to use her magic to save you.  All of Paris will learn to fear me again, and when I next attack, Ladybug will either surrender her Miraculous, or watch as someone else dies because of her.  Who knows, maybe I’ll Akumatize one of your grieving family members to fight her?  Why don’t you think of which one it will be, in your final moments…”

As the blade began to rise, Ladybug and Chat Noir screamed for Hawkmoth to stop, and struggled with all their might to break free.  Volpina didn’t struggle.  She just stared up at the shining silver blade as it slowly rose higher and higher, tracing the path it would take back down to end her brief career as a superhero.  When her executioner had lifted the blade directly over its head, it paused for just a moment to let the sun glint off the beautiful silver.  

Then it started its descent.    

Volpina closed her eyes.  She didn’t want to see the end.  She thought of her family, and how she wished she could see them all one last time so she could say goodbye.  She thought of Marinette, and how much her poor friend and her family was going to suffer today.  She thought of Nino, and how she was admittedly a little disappointed they had never so much as kissed in all the time they had been dating.  And finally, she thought of Que-

CLANG !

There was a loud ring of metal striking metal above her.  Volpina’s eyes shot open and she looked straight up to see the blade of the serving knife less than an inch away from her face, shaking slightly as it fought hungrily to get to its victim, but held back by a familiar looking metal staff.  Volpina stared up in open mouthed amazement.  Her eyes followed the staff to a pair of pitch black hands holding it in place.  They were connected to some yellow shoulders, which led to a yellow chest and a high black collar, which led to a face in a yellow and black mask, that was currently contorted into a snarl of rage and glaring up at the serving knife above them with pure determination. 

Volpina couldn’t believe her eyes, but Queen Bee had, quite literally, miraculously appeared in front of her, and was saving her life! 

With an angry growl, Queen Bee threw the blade off of them and stood up.  The Antibug Devil was thrown off balance and took a step backwards.  Queen Bee twirled around to face it, and stabbed the blunt end of the staff into the monster’s massive chest.  The creature shuddered at the blow, but began raising its weapon for another attack. 

Queen Bee roared, and with an incredible show of pure strength, forced the staff deeper into the creature’s chest, and through it to burst out the other side.  Chunky, sweet smelling red goo, and bits of chocolate cake exploded from the creature’s back.  The Antibug Devil froze, wavered slightly, then dropped its giant serving knife to the ground and fell back into a pool of its own fruit filling, Chat Noir’s staff sticking out of it like a metal toothpick.

Queen Bee wiped some of the splattered red filling from her cheek, and turned her attention to Hawkmoth.  He actually took a step back. 

Queen Bee’s eyes narrowed. 

“Don’t, you, dare, touch her.”     

Chapter Text

Warning

This chapter contains scenes of character death and blatant homophobia. 

Chapter 12

In which we pause to reflect, and then start to go completely beeserk.

The world stopped making sense the moment Queen Bee saw Volpina’s body smash into the ground. 

What was happening?  That wasn’t how fights with Akumas were supposed to go.  Sure, people got sent into the stratosphere in magic bubbles, or frozen in time with cellphone apps, and sometimes even thrown off of buildings, but Akumas weren’t supposed to actually hurt people.  Not so brutally.  Not like that… 

She watched everything that followed in a daze.  She saw Ladybug and Chat Noir struggle to break free, heard Volpina scream insults at Hawkmoth through his Akuma, but it was like she was watching some grossly exaggerated stage play.  It just didn’t seem real to her.  The world didn’t work that way.  Ladybug couldn’t be defeated, and Akumas didn’t win.  It was like some horrible nightmare.    

Yes, that had to be it.  She was still asleep, and this was all a dream.  Any second now she’d wake up, and she would be safe in her room, and everything would be fine.  There was nothing to worry about, all she had to do was wake up.  She tried pinching herself, but she remained standing on the roof.  She tried again, harder this time, but still nothing.  She even tried slapping herself across the face, but despite how much it stung, the world still refused to make sense. 

Then she looked up and saw the Antibug Devil lift its massive knife, and place it directly between Volpina’s eyes. 

The world suddenly snapped into sharp and terrible clarity.  She was about to watch her partner die, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.  Nothing anyone could do. 

The world suddenly stood still.  There was no sound, no movement of any kind, even her own heart seemed to have been frozen in mid beat.  Her body went completely numb, and she was unable to do anything but stare down at the macabre tableau below her.   

At first she thought she had gone into shock, but then she realized that she wasn’t even breathing anymore.  She was completely paralyzed.  Panic began taking over, and as it did so, the pain in her back began to return as well, as if drawn to her fear.  She couldn’t so much as wince, but she could feel the pain tear into her back, and begin to dig deeper into her chest again.  It was agonizing, but as the darkness began to creep in at the corners of her vision, she felt almost relieved.  As painful as it was, she knew she’d rather suffer the pain and pass out again, then be made to watch helplessly as someone died right before her eyes, again.  Anything was better than that. 

But this time, as the darkness swallowed her, she felt something grab onto the memory of that horrible day, and the darkness became a blinding white light. 

When the light faded away, Chloe was six years old. 

She was visiting Aunt Sophia in her hospital room.  Aunt Sophia was sitting up in bed with a food tray with some soup in front of her, while Chloe was in a nearby chair, flipping through one of Uncle Gabriel’s fashion magazines and looking at all the pretty girls, like usual.  It had become a daily ritual with them.  When Chloe found a girl she thought was especially pretty, she would point out her picture to Aunt Sophia, so she could ask for her aunt’s professional opinion on them. 

Aunt Sophia always got a mischievous little glint in her eye whenever Chloe showed her one of the models, and replied with something like, “Hmmm, she’s alright I guess, but I’ve always preferred someone in glasses,” or, “Oh, I think we already have enough blonds in the family,” or the worst of all, “Hmmm, maybe.  But don’t you think she’s a little too old for Adrien?”   

After that, Chloe would roll her eyes and tell her aunt that Adrien could get his own girlfriend, after which Aunt Sophia would innocently tap her finger to her lips and ask Chloe why she was so interested in the girls in the magazine then, and Chloe would blush and simply say, “no reason.”  Her aunt always laughed after that, and Chloe huffed and hid herself behind the magazine.  When she finally peeked out again, Aunt Sophia would be smiling gently at her with an expression Chloe couldn’t understand.  Then her aunt would shake her head with a little sigh, still smiling all the time, and go back to stirring her soup.  Aunt Sophia was always stirring some kind of soup, since that was all the hospital would give her to eat.  Though for the last few days, Chloe couldn’t remember seeing Aunt Sophia actually eat any of it.

It was just another quiet afternoon for the two of them.  The sun was shining through the windows.  The hospital room was bright and clean.  Everything was just as it had been for the last six months since Aunt Sophia had been admitted...

Then her aunt began to cough. 

Just a little at first, but it quickly grew out of control.  In just a few seconds, Aunt Sophia’s coughing became so bad that she could hardly take a breath without coughing it back out immediately.  Chloe started to get scared and went to hit the call button for the nurses, but it was too high up on the wall for her to reach. 

Chloe tried telling Aunt Sophia she needed to press the button, but her aunt just kept coughing over and over again and didn’t seem to hear her.  Her aunt reached out blindly for something to hold on to, and knocked over the bowl of soup, spilling it all over the front of Chloe’s dress and on to the floor.  Chloe jumped back as the soup soaked through to her skin, and its smell filled her nose.  Her aunt kept coughing over and over again, and not knowing what else to do, Chloe ran out of the room.  She screamed for someone, anyone to come help, but the hall was completely empty.  She ran from room to room, pounding on the doors for someone to help.  After about the fifth door or so, a very angry looking nurse stepped out of one of the rooms to tell her to be quiet.  Chloe grabbed the nurse by the wrist and pulled her towards Aunt Sophia’s room with all her strength, sobbing with fear and trying desperately to tell the nurse through her tears that she had to do something, she had to help! 

The nurse tried to fight her off, saying she didn’t have time to help some brat clean up some spilled soup.  Chloe continued to cry and refused to let her go, and after nearly a full minute of this life or death tug of war, the nurse finally relented and let Chloe drag her to Aunt Sophia’s room.  When they came in, Aunt Sophia was laying on her back, still coughing and struggling to breathe.  Her eyes were fluttering, and she was clutching her throat as if it were in terrible pain.  The nurse dashed over to her and slammed on the emergency call button, while little Chloe stood helplessly against the far wall.  She continued to cry silently as she watched the nurse try to help her aunt, praying and praying that she would be alright; the lingering smell of the soup on her dress hanging thick in the air around her.

The nurse gave Aunt Sophia an injection of something, and her coughing began to slow.  As more doctors and nurses ran into the room and crowded around her, a few of them stepped to the side, and through the gap, Aunt Sophia’s gaze fell on Chloe.  She tried to say something to her, but her voice was too faint, and Chloe couldn’t make it out. 

They stared at each other for a long moment.  Then the light faded from Aunt Sophia’s eyes, and the machines hooked up to her chest began making a long shrill tone.  The doctors flew into a panic, blaming each other while the nurses crowded back around Aunt Sophia and tried everything they could think of to save their multibillion dollar patient, but it was no use.  

After a few minutes, one of the doctor’s announced the time of death, and they began talking about who was going to tell the next of kin.  Nobody noticed Chloe pull open the door and run out of the room, and into the blindingly bright light that lay beyond.

The next thing Chloe knew, she was storming down the hall of her father’s hotel towards his office. 

She was ten years old now, and she was furious.  How dare Marinette say something like that to her.  Just because she had a mom and a dad, that made her some kind of expert on what made up a family and what didn’t?  Chloe would show her.  She’d tell her father what Marinette had said, and then she’d get it, her and her stupid, perfect, normal little family. 

The door was slightly open, and Chloe could hear voices coming from inside as she approached.  She almost pushed open the door anyway, but one of the voices caught her attention. 

“Go ahead and just try to bribe me like you did all those other reporters, Andre!  I’m recording this whole conversation, so it’ll just give me more rope to hang you with.”

Chloe recognized the voice.  It belonged to one of the bad news people her father had warned her too never talk to, but what really caught her attention was his tone.  She had never heard anyone talk like that to her father before.  Curious, she put her ear to the crack and listened. 

Her father chuckled jovially. 

“Oh, by all means, Emile.  I’ll even speak right into the mic if you want me too,” he said.  “I’m sure you’ll want to play back my congratulations to you, and to that little boyfriend of yours.” 

There was a long pause and then.

“Wha…  I-I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about.”   

“Cut the crap, Belrose,” her father snapped, and Chloe put her hand to her mouth.  She’d never heard such pure…  hatred in her father’s voice before.  It scared her. 

“I had my people trail you two on your little night on the town last week.”  There was the sound of a drawer opening and a pack of small papers being thrown onto the desk.  “You know, you’re quite photogenic for a reporter.  Too bad all the ones I have here are of you batting your eyes at that bearded fairy.  Ugg, it might be sweet if it didn’t make me want to puke.”

“You… You had no right to-“  the reporter started to say, but her father cut off his trembling voice.

“Oh, but I do, Belrose.  The exact same right that would let you publish those bank transactions you dug up from my last election.  I’ve really got to hand it to you, I haven’t a clue how you found them, but I admit it, my career could suffer some real damage if those ever saw the light of day.  Nothing my lawyers and media connections couldn’t clean up in a week or two, of course, but anything less than a spotless record could cause me substantial headache in the future, so I’m willing to cut you a deal.

“You hand over every copy of those bank transactions, along with everything else you have on me, and tell my legal team exactly how you got it and where, and not only will these disgusting pictures not see the front page of every major newspaper in France, but I might even go easy on you freaks in the future.  Nothing big mind you, but I’ll keep a marginally neutral stance and not stand in your way, if that bill for queer rights ever actually makes it to my desk.”

Her father finished speaking and there was the sound of him sitting back in his chair as he waited for the reporter to answer.

“You… You… You can’t…  You sick, basta-“

There was a loud bang as someone slammed down on the desk.

“Sick!?  You’re calling me sick?  Oh, that’s rich.  That has to be the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.  Well, you might be right; if I’m trying to bargain with a freak like you I must be a little off my head.  Maybe I should just run those photo’s anyway?  I wonder how all those concerned citizens will feel when they learn their children are being looked after by a homosexual.  I’m sure they’ll think it’s perfectly safe having a damn faggot for a kindergarten teacher.”

There was another bang on the desk.

“How dare you!  John is the kindest man I’ve ever known!  It’s been his dream to be a teacher all his life, you can’t do this!” 

Her father simply scoffed. 

“Well, it doesn’t matter what your opinion of him is.  Or mine for that matter.  It’ll be up to the parents and the school board on whether or not your boyfriend will live to see that dream or not, once word of what he is gets out.  Of course, it needn’t come to that…”

There was a long pause, and then,

“…you win…”

“Hmm?  Sorry, could you repeat that?  Nice, and clear for me?”

“You win,” the reporter said again, and Chloe could hear him choking back the loathing from his voice. 

“Good, I’m glad to see you aren’t entirely unreasonable.  Now get out of my office, I’m already going to have to have that chair you sat in burned.”

Chloe heard the footsteps coming towards the door just in time, and scrambled to get out of the way before she was discovered.  She pressed herself against the wall as the reporter opened the door and slammed it shut behind him.  He didn’t see her as he left, but Chloe stared after him the whole way. 

When he had gone, she gave one last glance back at the door to her father’s office, and ran.  She felt what was left of her heart shatter as her father’s hate filled words echoed in her ears.  She could never tell him what she and Marinette had argued about that day, and that Marinette could never be allowed to tell anyone else either.  And as she had just seen, the easiest way to make sure she never talked, was to make sure she would never dare too. 

She pushed open the door to her room, and was swallowed up by the blinding bright light again.

There was a flash of lightning and the world came back again.  This time Chloe didn’t know how old she was, or where.

Or even who.

She was in the middle of a storm, in the dead of night, running along a rain pelted tile roof, and hand in hand with the woman she had just rescued from the castle dungeon behind them.  She didn’t know how she knew that, but she did, just as she knew that despite the pouring rain and the crashing thunder echoing around them, they had made it.  They were free!  On their way to a happily ever after, or at least a long vacation away from France while this all sorted itself out.  Perhaps a honeymoon in the Caribbean?  The Pirate Queen Piquer Royale had a certain ring to it. 

She looked back at her beautiful soon to be first mate and laughed.  Alice was drenched to the bone, her dress was torn, her hair in complete disarray, and she had never looked happier or more beautiful.  She hoped she could keep that feeling going when they got back to her rooms.  It was just one more rooftop until they could duck inside and wait out this mess in her secret hideaway.  She knew she had a lot of explaining to do to Alice, though hopefully most of it could be done in the morning.  Preferably with the two of them wearing as little clothing as possible.    

She was so lost in her happy thoughts, she didn’t think anything of the distant crack of thunder behind her, until she felt the bullet punch through her back. 

Time slowed to a crawl as white-hot pain carved its way into her chest.  Shock and confusion wracked her mind.  She turned her head to look over at Alice.  Her lover was looking back at her, her expression slowly changing to one of pure horror, meaning she must have seen what had happened, but thankfully Alice herself looked unharmed. 

She turned further and looked back behind them.  There was a flash of lightning, but in the frozen time it seemed to stretch out nearly a minute.  The light illuminated the rooftops of the eighteenth-century city around them, and directly behind them, stood the enormous stone prison tower some two hundred yards away. 

Atop the tower, through the storm and the falling rain, Chloe could feel a force of pure, murderous, hatred staring down at her from the highest peak, and could almost see the smoking musket still pointed down at her.  The bullet in her back seemed almost to scream with that same hatred, and she felt it try to burrow its way closer to her heart, as if it were somehow alive.

Another wave of pain shot through her, and she fell backwards over the edge of the roof, unintentionally pulling Alice down with her as she continued to stare up at the thing on the tower in disbelief.  This wasn’t how it was supposed to end.  She and Alice had won, they had escaped, and by tomorrow morning that thing and all it’s horrible followers would be imprisoned in their own jail and awaiting execution.  She and Alice were supposed to toast to their victory wearing nothing but satin sheets and smiles as they read the headline on the morning newspaper.  How could this have happened?    

She felt her strength fading, and time slipping back to its proper pace as they fell into the dark alley below.  She had just enough strength left to pull Alice to her, and try to shield her lover from the inevitable impact with her own dying body.  There was the sound of splintering wood beneath her, the feeling of them coming to a very sudden stop, and then… nothing. 

She felt no more pain.  No sense of up, or down.  She was simply floating in absolute nothingness.  She was dead.  It was over. 

…which made her royally pissed.

She tried to scream, but she had no lungs or voice left to her.  They had been so close!  Just one quick leap and a duck into the door and they would have made it!  She had worked so hard, been so careful, only to fail right at the finish line?

No.  No, this would not do.  This would not do at all.  She refused to simply fade away or crossover, or whatever awaited her in the next life.  She would not go, not until she saw victory for herself and for her people.  She could not simply “rest in peace” like this.

She would have satisfaction, damn it!

A feeling of pure outrage blasted away the dark abyss of Chloe’s mind like a firebomb.  Her senses came flooding back to her all at once, and she was back on top of the bakery again, still looking down at the street below.  Ladybug and Chat Noir were still struggling helplessly to get free, Volpina was staring up as the Antibug Devil was slowly raising its shining silver knife up over its head.  Chloe’s own sense of self still seemed a bit blurry, but she understood the situation around her perfectly.  She was about to watch an execution.   

‘No.’

Her mind snapped into focus, and Queen Bee’s eyes narrowed.  She would not let this happen again.  She would not stand by and let anyone else be taken from her without a fight. 

She felt her lips move, heard herself speak, but she paid no attention to the words she was saying.  Whatever she said, the moment she finished saying it she felt a burst of raw power surge through her, and an angry buzzing began to hum at the back of her mind.  She instinctually reached out to it, and the physical world seemed to slow down to a standstill.  The buzzing filled her head completely for a few seconds, and when it died back to the edge of her mind again, she had a plan. 

An admittedly insane plan, but a plan nonetheless. 

Time began to move forward again, and without another thought, she leapt over the guard rail and plummeted to the street below.  She landed light as a feather, and not a single hair out of place.  Her hand reached for the satchel at her waist, but the glint of metal on the ground in front of her caught her eye.  Chat Noir’s staff sat extended and waiting for her only a few feet away from her target.  The buzzing flared approvingly in her mind again, and the faintest hint of a smile touched her lips.

The buzzing died back only a little this time, making the world move at only half its normal speed.  Queen Bee looked back up at Volpina.  The serving knife had already begun its murderous descent.  There was more than twenty feet separating her from Volpina, and less than five feet between Volpina’s head and certain death. 

Queen Bee covered the distance in less than a second.  She didn’t run, she simply moved.  As she approached the staff, she ducked down and rolled, elegantly snatching it up and planting herself in a kneeling position directly between Volpina and the Antibug Devil in a single maneuver.  Even as she came to a stop, she gripped the staff tightly between both hands and thrust it up to block the oncoming knife.  Time sped up to its normal pace the instant that metal touched metal. 

CLANG!

The force of the blow made her teeth rattle, but her body held strong, refusing to give even the smallest fraction of an inch.  The buzzing in her mind flared encouragingly, and using every muscle in her body, she carefully began to push the blade back until the buzzing told her she had reached the proper height.  She let intuition guide her, and with a slight adjustment of angle and the proper use of force, she threw off the knife and put her opponent off balance with one fluid movement, and only a slight growl of exertion.    

As her opponent staggered back, she seized upon the opening she had created, and plunged the staff into the monster’s chest.  It sank deep, but instead of impaling it, Queen Bee felt herself being pushed back by her own attack.  The blunt staff couldn’t penetrate the creature’s sticky, spongy body.  Perhaps there was some slight tactical advantage to making a bodyguard out of cake after all.

Queen Bee saw the Antibug Devil begin to raise its blade again, and the buzzing quickly flared and put time on pause once more. 

When it resumed, Queen Bee grit her teeth, adjusted her stance slightly, and thrust the staff into the monster again, only this time, instead of feeling herself slide back, she could feel an invisible force pushing her body forward.  With a roar of determination, Queen Bee used the new leverage to push the staff through the monster with such force that its back exploded as she ran it through.  The monster shuddered and dropped its weapon to the ground with a loud clang, and Queen Bee let go of Chat’s Staff to let the immobilized creature fall back with a wet splotch. 

Some of the crimson filling splattered up onto her cheek, and she wiped it off with the back of her hand as she turned her attention towards her true enemy.  The Necrobaker stepped back, and Queen Bee saw his hooded face turn ever so slightly to look from her, to Volpina, and he began to reach for the book he was carrying under his arm.  The buzzing roared in her head, and its words echoed from her mouth.

“Don’t, you, dare, touch her.”