Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

James had been waiting a couple of hours in the sun, and boy was he sweating. The temperature was close to 80 °F and he was starting to feel thirsty. Thank god he brought a bottle of water. Pity it was almost empty now. He sighed. He’d got a text from Catherine saying they were running late due to some last minute schedule changes, and now he was getting restless.

About half an hour after James started pacing back and forth on the patio, Catherine’s car showed up in the driveway. She got out, slammed the door shut and smiled at him, friendly but short. “I’m so sorry”, she said and walked up to him in a hurry, shaking his hand forcefully. “These things happen sometimes, it can’t be avoided.”

A guy got out from the passenger seat, presumably Tyler, cool and fresh looking in brown shorts and an orange t-shirt, black sunglasses covering his eyes. A lot taller than James had initially thought, although he was aware his own height was part of why Catherine considered him at all.

“James, meet Tyler. Tyler – James”, Catherine nodded between the two. James could feel his palms sweating, and discretely tried to dry off his right hand on his jeans, before stretching it out to shake hands with Tyler. He did feel a bit uneasy. Tyler just wrinkled his nose a little; didn’t say a word at first. At least he removed his sunglasses and ran them back over his curly hair, keeping it in place.

+

They both had been reading up on the other’s merits, but had no idea of what and who they would meet. Tyler had the looks of a fourteen year old in press photos, and James’ pictures were very much just smiles and big teeth, almost always accompanied by his dad.

+

Tyler had already been through a slew of actors and wannabes, each and every one buffed and Hulk-like, some skinheads and some looking like they belonged more in a shampoo add than anything else, with little to no chemistry. He’d been through a whole scale of emotions at that point, giving everything in every read, he felt like a worn out piece of cloth, almost transparent. He’d lost count of how many strangers’ hands had been manhandling him, messing with his hair, touching his chest. He loved auditions. But he hated them. And chemistry reads were the worst. Unfortunately, if he wanted to keep the part he’d already been given, he would have to endure this one more time. Catherine had been so sure yesterday that this was the right guy.

When James showed up, his hair all punked up and dyed three different colors but mostly blue and yellow, his stringy frame wearing black from head to toe, it was obvious that things were about to change for Tyler. He couldn’t look away. James’ icy blue eyes locking with his, a chill ran down Tyler’s spine. He was caught by surprise. He felt some kind of tingling in his fingertips. He wanted to grab at James shirt, pull him closer and just breath him in, look at him up close. This could be him. This could be the Lukas to his Philip. James could be his acting partner the next six months.

Instead of grabbing him by the shirt, after eyeing him behind the sunglasses, he gave James a firm handshake and said grinning: “Hi! I’m Tyler. So happy to meet you!”

+

His father being in the business, James never thought he’d be surprised again. Having met all kinds of people from different walks of life trying to make it in Hollywood, he really thought he’d experienced it all. It dawned on him quite soon that he wasn’t prepared in the least. He was definitely not prepared for what Catherine wanted from him, even though she’d tried to warn him the day before. He remembered her saying something about him sharing his personal space with another actor, that he’d have to get comfy pretty quick, that there would be bare skin and awkward kisses.

“Are you ready to give up on your comfort zone and get intimate with another guy you haven’t met yet?” she’d asked, her eyes inquiring and amused at the same time. “It’s a lot to ask, but this is the best way to uncover chemistry and how comfortable you feel with each other. And by the way, if you two look half decent together, you’ll be doing lots more.”

James never hesitated, thinking this was going to be a challenge, maybe a daring one, but nonetheless just a challenge. He had to put himself out there, show them what he could do. He really wanted to act, preferably on screen, and he knew the stakes were high.

He always had his father’s words in mind, about doing the job and doing it well, about taking opportunities but making wise decisions. About being true to himself. And – this was really him doing that. He really liked the character breakdown and script he’d been given. It was just an outline of the first episode of a crime series with gay protagonists, his character being one of them, but it was enough to give him all the necessary information about the role. The whole thing just seemed very different from any other tv-script he’d read the last months. He could definitely see his role and Tyler’s challenging some stereotypes on tv. James actually thought it would be freeing to see the world from an angle so perfectly different from his own. He longed to delve into and under his character’s heart and skin. To seek out and experience the emotions his character would have to go through. To work on character development. It would be a learning curve, but a welcomed one. He was always on the lookout for new and exciting experiences and if he did well, he couldn’t lose. This was it.

The moment James looked Tyler in the eyes for the first time he couldn’t help but feel he drowned in warm chocolate. If the sudden warmth in the pit of his stomach was any indication, this wouldn’t go down as smooth as he’d thought. Still, he couldn’t help but grin widely while shaking Tyler’s hand. It was definitely a firm handshake on both parts. James locked eyes with him and wasn’t able to break off.

Shit.

This was actually the guy he was going to kiss and cuddle with in front of a camera. His eyes landed on Tyler’s mouth.

Soft and sensual.

He gulped silently.

Plush and pouty.

He snapped out of it before it became embarrassing.

Damn.

For a brief moment, he thought about Elise and if he should call her and tell her how much he loved her. He turned down the idea immediately. He could do this. He could. There was nothing wrong in appreciating a guy’s good looking features. Especially not when they were about to lock lips on camera. On the other hand – what was wrong with him, a perfectly straight guy? Questioning his own sexuality at this point was not an option.

--

“We’re going to go fully into this, guys.” Catherine barely let them passed the doorstep before she went at it in full force. Both boys knew she was leaving again the day after, and that she needed an answer to whether James was the right choice or not. “Come on in boys, and follow me.” The boys locked eyes, gave each other a goofy smirk and followed Catherine through the house, into a large bedroom filled with natural light. A king size bed stood against the wall next to the door, and facing it were three large windows stretching from floor to ceiling, half-way hidden behind almost transparent white curtains. There was a camera angled towards the bed, but no one handling it.

“Hop on the bed poochies, you’re about to get comfy!” Catherine grinned. They both sat down on the edge beside each other, a few inches apart, but then Tyler turned toward James, leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek. James almost jumped and Tyler just shrugged. He’d been through this before, but this was James’ first time.

“What was that for?”, James asked, just a tiny bit taken by surprise, an insecure but sweet smile on his lips.

“Foreplay”, Tyler grinned at him, looking like he was about to laugh out loud.

James laughed back at him, suddenly feeling better. The guy was actually funny too. Maybe this wouldn’t be too bad, he thought, more relaxed than just moments before. Tyler’s eyes were warm and filled with mirth. James eased up. It was going to be alright.

Chapter Text

“Okay, boys, before we start”, Catherine pauses and looks at them. “Is there anything you need? There’s water over here, if you want.” She points at a table on the other end of the room carrying four glasses and a jug of water and ice cubes. “James, you must be thirsty after waiting for so long in the sun. Go have a sip or two, you’ll need to keep hydrated. Tyler, you’ve been through this before but we’ll just go through the basics with James, okay?” Catherine seems a little tense, understandably, since there’s not much time left in her schedule to find what she’s looking for. She looks at Tyler who nods at her, and then at James. He nods too, says “Okay” and heads for the table, making quick work of downing a full glass of ice cold water. It feels good; actually invigorating. He felt kind of sluggish before, from the heat.

He returns to the bed, Tyler shamelessly staring at him with a small smile tugging at his lips. He can’t help but smile back timidly, lowering his head as he sits down, then slowly turning against Tyler and locking eyes with him. Neither of them are smiling now, just looking at each other intensely. James feels a pinch in his belly, setting off a spark threatening to weaken his resolve of appearing confident, and he can’t have that. He tilts his head a little bit and then smiles again, still a little shy but wide this time. The smile reaches his eyes and he can feel it. He can see Tyler mirroring him and see his pupils dilate, they’re that close, and the spark in James’ belly just won’t blow out…

Tyler’s smile almost knocks James out. His eyes are sparkling and his teeth are just so white against his tanned skin. The arc of his lips kind of endearing. How -

“Guys.” James can hear Catherine from far away. “This is good. This is nice. You’re getting to know each other, I can see that.” She walks around the room, picking up a glass of water, taking a sip, putting it down again. The camera is on now, James can see the little red light on the side of it. When did she turn it on?

Catherine comes to stand before them, clasps her hands together, smiles and goes: “Okay. So here we are. You guys know that we’ll primarily be reading the cabin scene today. You’ve studied your character, James, as has Tyler. Now, you’re going to get comfortable with each other. We’ve done it a little differently before, by just acting out the scene immediately, and that didn’t really work out. So we’re gonna go about this making you comfortable with each other first. But you’re going to go through the same progression as in the scene. You’ll have to kiss and touch. You’ll be taking off your shirts, and so on. There’ll be no dialogue between you at this point. I’ll be doing all the talking, giving you instructions. Okay?”

Both boys nod in agreement and the room is silent for a few seconds as they look at each other again. James can feel tension building within, but not in an uncomfortable way. He feels – excited. The whole thing, the setting, Catherine’s voice, Tyler’s presence – it’s all kind of surreal. He doesn’t know if he’s ready for this, but he’s never shied away from trying before. Won’t do it now either. Being part of one of Catherine’s projects is huge; he really wants her to choose him, she has to. This is what he wants to do.

“Okay”, Catherine says. “James, I want you to touch Tyler’s face and Tyler, you do the same to James.” She looks at them intently.

“Yes, just like that, now with both hands.” James feels awkward and he’s afraid it shows.

“Okay, and touch each other’s hair.”

Catherine’s voice is quite soft now, and not so stressed. “You’ll need to get closer to each other because you’ll be touching each other’s bodies too. Keep your eyes connected. Good. Now, how does that feel? Does it feel awkward?”

“Does it feel surreal?”

“Or does it feel good?”

Those were just rhetorical questions, meant to keep them on alert.

“Hold on to those feelings, whatever they are, however you feel; you’re gonna want to remember this when we start filming the scene.” Catherine pauses and goes quiet, still studying them intensely.

When James stretches out his right hand to palm Tyler’s cheek, he feels Tyler’s hand cupping his jaw. They’re still not sitting too close, so it actually does feel a little awkward at first, especially when they have to make use of both hands, as they’re not exactly facing each other entirely; there’s a weird angle to the whole thing. As Catherine instructs them to sit closer, they’re already scooting into each other’s space to get more comfortable, and it feels better immediately. At least for James. But he can see Tyler isn’t uncomfortable at all; he wasn’t even to begin with.

Tyler’s cheek is soft to the touch. James cups his face and lets his thumbs trace against the smoothness of the skin down to the jawline, a slight hint of stubble pricking his fingertips. He wonders if that’s what Tyler’s hands find on his own face. The warmth of them, the firm touch of them feels surprisingly good, comfortable even. Tyler doesn’t have calloused hands. They’re soft and delicate.

They’re in his hair now, carding through it gently. It feels really, really good. Like, James could just doze off if he doesn’t pay attention. His eyes half closed he puts his right hand in Tyler’s hair, pleasantly surprised at the thickness of it, curly and rich, like silk to the touch. How’s a guy even allowed to have hair like that?

James’ left hand rests on the side of Tyler’s neck, his thumb in the dip of his collarbones, feeling his pulse. It’s fast. Probably just as fast as James’ own. Tyler might not be as unaffected as he seems.

Tyler’s hands are moving down his neck and spine and, kicking off his shoes he’s shifting to sit on his knees upon the bed, urging James gently and silently to do the same, just by a look. They understand each other, that’s nice. There’s a small smile tugging at Tyler’s lips again and James just has to smile back. Warmth settles in his chest, ignited by the spark in his belly, and it just feels so breathtakingly good.

Catherine’s voice is coming from behind the camera now: “Yes, that’s good, sit on your knees facing each other. Now remember to keep eye contact. Did you know that memory, impression and eye contact are deeply connected? Eye contact is an immensely powerful capability that creates better connections; it keeps people honest and generally enriches relationships. Those are facts. This is why actors who work closely together initially work on establishing eye contact. To build trust. When you’ll be working on intimate scenes, you also have to make sure that you feel comfortable touching each other. This is what we’re doing now. Everything alright, James?”

James is a little lost in Tyler’s big brown eyes and doesn’t look away when he answers. “Yeah” he breathes, “everything’s alright.” He can feel Tyler’s hands on his back, his own cradling Tyler’s shoulders gently. They’re very close, noses almost touching.

“How does it feel now? Uncomfortable or good? If it feels alright, or good, move closer to each other. I want your bodies to touch chest to hip. Think about where you place your hands. You can close your eyes now if you want to.”

They scoot closer to each other and suddenly everything feels a little weird. James is starting to feel insecure and his hands stop exploring Tyler. He looks down at their bodies, so close now they’re almost one. He hasn’t been this close to anyone else but Elise, his girlfriend. His hands quiver slightly and he wants it to stop but he can’t, so he clutches at Tyler’s waist and keeps his gaze low until Tyler’s hand nudges gently at his chin making him tilt his head up again. Tyler is a little shorter than James so it doesn’t take much.

“Hey, it’s okay” Tyler says quietly. “Look at me.” He smiles confidently at James. “Listen, I’m gonna give you a hug now. We’re gonna hug each other, okay?” James nods, smiles softly. “Yeah, okay”.

Tyler scoots even closer, wrapping his arms around James; one arm around his neck, the other snakes its way under his right, nudging James’ arm up around Tyler’s neck. James puts his left arm under Tyler’s right, so that they keep each other in a tight, friendly, kind of masculine grip. Catherine is silent.

They stay like that for a long while. It’s kind of reassuring, in a way. He feels grounded. Good. He can feel himself melt into the hug, no longer tense.

Tyler shifts a little, putting both his arms around his neck, making James put his own arms around Tyler’s waist. For some reason that feels even nicer. Tyler’s hair tickles his jaw and cheek; it smells nice; clean. James rests his chin on Tyler’s shoulder. He feels bad thinking he might not smell good from sweating earlier. Nothing he can do about that now though.

Tyler starts stroking his neck and upper back gently, placing a small kiss at the dip between James’ neck and shoulder, just above the collar of his shirt. Ten minutes ago, that would have made James jump. He’s a little more relaxed now.

Tyler’s mouth is on my skin.

James gulps silently, but he doesn’t budge.

So soft.

He breathes out.

James appreciates Catherine’s silence, although he’s aware of her presence. He isn’t totally lost yet, so he gets that he has to make an effort to get the show on the road. He decides just to go for it, tilts his head and kisses Tyler’s neck, skating his quivering lips slowly up and down, until he reaches a spot right under Tyler’s ear, pressing a warm kiss into the skin.

Goosebumps on Tyler’s skin. James smiles against it, his mouth slightly open, breathing softly. “Is that okay?” he asks quietly.

“Y-yes.” Tyler’s voice isn’t as calm as before. James feels like he’s regaining some composure. This isn’t just difficult for him. Tyler’s been through something like this with many others already. It has to be exhausting. He must feel used, worn out. James wants to do this right, to be the right person for this part he’s auditioning for. To be the last one Tyler has to kiss and touch. There shouldn’t be anyone else.

James slowly cranes his head back, and Tyler does the same. They lock eyes. They stand like that, on their knees, still hugging each other, for a while.

“Boys, this is good, you look good together.” Catherine’s voice breaks the silence and the spell. But not for long. “You can kiss now. James – “ she pauses, “I want you to kiss Tyler. In the scene, the first move after the rejection is yours. We’re going to worry about how you guys kiss later. For now, just relax and go for it.”

James worries his lower lip between his teeth and watches Tyler do the same. They smile at each other, quite in sync already. James’ smile fades as he sways towards Tyler’s face, his eyes now locked on Tyler’s mouth. Tyler’s gaze is locked on James’ lips, and he sways a little too, eyes half closed and lips parted. James tilts his head a little to the left, trying to get in on a good angle. His right hand is cupping Tyler’s face firmly. His left hand is on the small of Tyler’s back. Tyler’s hands are on James chest, clutching at his shirt. This feels intense. Intoxicating. They’re moving like a tidal wave, slowly building itself up, going back and forth a couple times before James’ lips suddenly crash into Tyler’s softness.

It isn’t at all as he expected. It’s better. Softer. Smoother. Sweeter. It’s still just a close-mouthed kiss, but it’s earnest, eager and insistent on both parts. It’s kind of wonderful.

Their lips part, but their foreheads are leaning against each other. They lock eyes and stare intently at each other, catching their breaths. James dives in for another kiss, this time lips slightly parted, and oh.

Oh.

The velvet curve of Tyler’s upper lip between James’ makes him shiver. James hands clutch tightly at Tyler’s waist and he doesn’t know if he can ever let go. This is too intense. Too good. His head spins with a buzz that just won’t stop.

James can’t help it; his tongue gently nudges at Tyler’s lips, and when Tyler’s tongue joins his in a wet and sensual dance James is lost. His arms scoot around Tyler’s waist, pulling him even closer. They melt into each other, Tyler’s arms squeezing around his neck tightly, his hands tugging at James’ hair and he’s about to loose it when he hears Catherine’s voice, far away, like it’s tucked behind cotton walls.

“You’re looking good, boys; this is what we want. Now I want you to take your shirts off.”

James can’t help it, he breaks the kiss and laughs quietly throwing his head back, exposing his throat. The way Catherine speaks and instructs them what to do make it sound like they’re filming porn. And they’re definitely not filming porn. Tyler hums, seemingly in perfect sync with James’ thoughts. They look at each other, eyes sparkling, and without saying a word they take off their shirts.

Tyler with his shirt off is kind of intimidating. The soft curve of his pectorals; the smoothness of his lightly tanned skin; the curls of his hair flopping when he moves, leaving a strand of hair covering his right eye, giving him this sexy stare; he’s radiating. The veins on his arms stand out more against the fair skin on his torso, and James is fascinated. His own skin is pale white, light pink from the sun on his arms and neck. But it’s smooth and young too, so he’s got nothing to worry about. He wonders what Tyler sees. If he likes what he sees, like James does.

Fuck. Get a grip, man.

He’s regained some composure but he fears it won’t last long. Tyler’s in his arms again and skin on skin makes it feel different from before. More intimate. More sensual. More daunting.

As it turns out, this is just the beginning of it.

“Okay, guys, you’re doing good. Very good. Are you feeling comfortable? Do you need a break? No? Okay then, let’s get this show on the road.”

We’re already putting on a show, jeez, more like a porn movie. So weird, I kind of like this. Well, guess I have to like it if I wanna do it. It should look real on screen. It has to.

“You’re going to be touching each other now, with hands and mouths. This will be a part of the scene, actually the ending of the intimate part of the cabin scene. It’ll be dramatic, so it has to appear passionate when the characters are interrupted. Tyler, you’ve been through this already, you know what to do.”

“Yeah” Tyler says, “Yeah, I know. I’ll guide James, just like Philip would guide Lukas.” Tyler looks up at him, clutching at his shoulders, James hands on his waist, just above the hem of his pants. “Are you okay with that James?” Tyler looks him straight in the eye, warmth and concern radiating off of him, hands soothing James’ skin gently. Tyler’s lips are already bruised from kissing him; it’s weird and kind of intoxicating at the same time. Everything feels so surreal.

“S-sure.” James stutters, so he just nods, and doesn’t say anything else, just gives Tyler’s waist a light squeeze in agreement.

“Okay, just – follow my lead. It’s, it’s quite easy, and just like, think about what Lukas would do, how he’d act. Also, mind your own reactions, but don’t hold back okay? It’s important.” He smiles encouragingly at James who can only nod, his mouth dry and head spinning again. “Don’t be afraid to touch me.” It’s the last thing Tyler says before he places one hand on James’ neck, the other on his chest, and his lips on James’ jaw.

Shit.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to react. This is so unreal.

No. I have to get past this. I have to do this. This is it.

Okay, just relax. Breathe. What if it was Elise? What would I do? No, no, wait. I am Lukas. I have to act like Lukas. This is Philip kissing Lukas. Okay, okay. I’m Lukas. And Philip is kissing me; we’ve undressed. I’m in awe at how good this feels. This is the most I’ve felt since –

James’ eyes flutter closed, his arms surround Tyler’s back, holding him close, tight. Fingers skating over smooth skin. Soft lips tracing patterns down Tyler’s neck and up again, following his jawline, blindly searching for his mouth. There are hands in James’ hair, tugging at it, hard; skating down his neck, over his chest, cradling his shoulders, stroking his arms. Their lips meet in a heated kiss and James lets out a shuddering breath when he comes up for air, a brief moment before he dives right back in again. The softness of Tyler’s tongue against his; the plushness of Tyler’s lips; the searing heat his hands leave on James’ skin.

James’ heartbeat is picking up the pace. He doesn’t know where to put his hands anymore, he just wants to touch. Just wants, plain and simple. He can feel he’s getting hard and no, no, no that was not the plan, not at all. He has to stop this, have a break, it’s too much.

He starts to pull back, hands on Tyler’s shoulders, afraid of what Tyler might think of him, how unprofessional this is.

But Tyler doesn’t let him pull away. “It’s okay”, he whispers softly in James’ ear, so quiet not even Catherine can hear it. Tyler pulls him back in and now he can feel it, he’s not alone in being affected. Tyler’s hard length is rubbing against his own through their pants and shorts, and it’s so hot he’s about to loose it again. His hands roam Tyler’s body, down his spine and lay firmly on his ass, pulling him closer again, and it’s so hot, and how in the world can this not end badly.

It takes every inch of willpower James has to gently make some space between him and Tyler, not pushing him away, just nudging him into laying down; which he does willingly as if it was planned. James’ breathing is harsh. Tyler’s breathing seems even, but he’s flushed and radiating need. James doesn’t know if it’s Tyler or Philip that needs, wants.

The space between James’ hesitation and the surprising feeling of desire is filled with Tyler’s warm gaze and open arms, and there’s nothing stopping him from leaning his forehead on Tyler’s, placing his hands on Tyler’s chest, lips leaving threads of searing heat down his ribcage followed by his fingers gently touching the silky texture of Tyler’s skin.

Tyler’s hands are on his arms, stroking, soothing. He arches up to kiss at James’ chest, his jaw, pulling James down to seal this heated encounter with yet another passionate kiss –

There’s a loud bang filling the air, and for a brief moment James thinks the world just exploded by the heat created between them, and his heart stutters, he starts to shake and he can’t hold himself up anymore. His arms feel weak, and when Catherine clasps her hands together he just slips down on his back beside Tyler covering his eyes with his right arm.

Turns out one of the windows had been open, a soft breeze cooling the room, creating a draft which slammed the door shut. Nonetheless, this is the end of their heated session. James feels drained.

Catherine’s soft laughter fills the room, Tyler lying beside him joining her, and finally James too. The tension fades away, the build-up of energy cools down, everyone settles. Catherine turns off the camera and grabs a chair. The boys don’t look at each other. They’re filled with an otherworldly feeling of being overwhelmed, of being drained; they both feel tired like they’ve been running for miles, kind of breathless, and weirdly satisfied – yet, with a lingering feeling of being unsated.

James’ body is settling, he’s calming down. He’s worn out. He can’t move and he doesn’t care. Tyler lies completely still beside him, their hands almost touching. But James can’t touch him right now. He needs a break. He needs to breath. He needs some space, but it’s fine. As long as they just lie here in silence for a while.

--

It’s going to be a challenge working with Tyler, that’s for sure. But also, maybe, almost certainly, very very exciting. Yeah, it’s going to be fun. If Catherine’s on board, that is. He can’t really be sure after what happened. But he’s almost convinced they did good.

Chapter Text

After the séance on the bed, Catherine says they can have a thirty minute break before they work through the cabin scene, with dialogue and the whole shebang. She sits down with them for a moment, both boys now on the edge of the bed as before, Catherine on a chair, explaining that she’ll spend the next half hour editing what they just went through so it’ll be ready for later. When the shooting of the audition for the scene is over she’ll edit that too, she’ll go through everything and send it to the showrunner, and then both boys will get notified about what happens further. If they want James for the part, he’ll get a callback.

“But I think you’re alright, kid”, she nods at James. “What first made us consider you were your height and features since Tyler here is quite tall, and we need someone taller to play Lukas. We also need someone who can come off as strong without looking buff. And of course, a quite decent look. You got all of this.”

She smiles at James and continues: “What you guys just did right now was an exercise, maybe a little unorthodox, in building trust. Trust plays a big part in establishing a relationship, and if all goes to plan, you two will be very close for several months. On screen you’ll be in an actual relationship. I’ve had many actors do much of the same on that bed and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.”

She pauses to take a breath. “This was also about uncovering potential and chemistry, and uh - yeah, I think we just found gold.” She grins this time. Both boys look at each other and smile. “If you’re wondering why we filmed it, and not just the scene we’ll be shooting afterwards, it’s because we have to find out if the chemistry between you in this room translates to the small screen. We’ll be looking at both the first séance and then the cabin scene.”

James actually did wonder about that. It feels weird to know that something so intimate is put on tape. Then again, when auditioning, as an actor you kind of have to let people in and not be uptight about it. A big part of the tv-show is probably going to revolve around the relationship between the two boys, and even the auditioning scene - an actual part of the show - will be intimate, so there isn’t really much room to hesitate. He hopes only Catherine and Adi, the showrunner, will watch that first shoot of them; maybe Tyler and James too. It would make sense. Evaluating what you do on screen to perfect it. But he knows things work a little differently depending on directors and other factors.

For the time being, James settles with waiting to see what happens, and just taking a break.

--

When Catherine leaves the room, Tyler heads for the table on the other end. He needs to hydrate. He also needs some space. He’s fucking exhausted but he can’t say it out loud. This is his job. Being an actor means you have to go through things like this, maybe a dozen times or more for one project, and you really can’t complain since this is what you actually chose to do to get to where you want to be. And there’s really only one thing Tyler wants; he wants to be an actor. He wants to be a good actor. He knows he was born to do this and this part in a small tv-show is what’s going to get him further.

It’s not so much being in the spotlight that attracts him about acting. It’s about creating and exploring and being part of something bigger; about putting a spotlight on social issues instead; and of course, about having fun. Reading the Eyewitness script he realized he could actually do all of that. He’s been given a lot of room to interpret Philip, his character in the show. It’s interesting to research and read about issues concerning that character and then build a whole persona around it. He’s kind of stoked he landed this part in particular. His younger brother being gay, he’s seen the challenges he faced up close coming out. Any support to the lgbtq community, in any way, he’ll do it.

What’s not always fun, is having to deal with many of the other things that precede a production; like auditions and chemistry reads. The last three months have been awful.

He knew very well what he got himself into, and being who he is, he went through with it. Without Iliana’s and his family’s support though, he might have left the whole project. Thank God he didn’t. He can see the end of it now, thanks to James. Things will definitely move forward now, he’s sure of it. One thing he’s not quite sure of though is – what the hell just happened?

Tyler has never ever been so deeply affected by an acting partner before. But then again, he’s never had to play such intimate scenes with anyone in his entire acting career, however small that career still is. And certainly never had a chemistry read quite like this one. Sure, he was in here with the other actors too, about a dozen of them. But they just went through the cabin scene together; it was all very basic and boring.

With James it felt - different. As if there was an unseen connection between them. Maybe it helped to focus on eye contact and touch before throwing them into acting out emotions they knew little about. Or maybe it was just – James.

Tyler can’t really explain what just happened between them, but he knows it’s important. He’s quite sure James is the right person for the part of Lukas in the show. He’s got all the right physical qualities. And the two of them just – clicked. It might have helped too that James is so different from all the other actors he read with the last months. He doesn’t seem to have this overly self-absorbed personality characterizing many actors and wannabes. Many of those were in this very room not long ago. James appears to be genuine.

Tyler remembers how James threw his head back and laughed quietly at Catherine’s words. He’s sure he knows why he laughed, because he felt kind of ridiculous himself. Porn movie much? He chuckles quietly to himself and turns around, glass of water in hand, to look at James again.

James has thrown his back on the bed, his feet firmly planted on the floor. His eyes are closed and his shirt is still off. He looks like he’s fallen asleep. He’s probably just having a small time-out, which is well deserved. Auditioning is kind of exhausting and they’re only just half-way through, maybe even less, depending on what Catherine still wants to see.

Tyler sighs and sits down beside James. He looks at him, watches him breathe, James’ chest rising and falling steadily. He seems relaxed.

Tyler sits the glass of water on the floor, still half-full, and flops down beside James, his back lying down like his, feet planted on the floor like his, eyes closed too. His right hand lands heavily on the mattress, so close to James’ left that the back of them touch, but James doesn’t even flinch. Listening carefully to James’ breath he can actually hear him snore very very quietly.

Tyler really can’t help it. He starts chuckling and then laughing for real; not very loud but it startles James who lifts his head barely off the mattress, his eyes trying to focus in on Tyler, then throwing his right arm over his eyes when he sees the grin on his face.

“Oh hell”, he blushes, “did I just fall asleep?”

“Relax, man” Tyler smiles. “Heard you went to audition with a fever yesterday, and then you had to wait for over an hour outside in the heat today. It’s okay, really. I won’t tell.”

“Thanks, man. Yeah, shit, I’ve been feeling sick for a week. Felt better this morning though. But – “ he hesitates a little. “You know, this thing we did just now it, uh - it knocked me out, man.”

“Yeah, that was some intense shit right there.” Tyler grins at him and then they both look away from each other. “I, uh, hmmh” Tyler begins. “You know, there’s really nothing to feel embarrassed about. We were Philip and Lukas for a brief moment. And, uh…I mean, if you think about it, we’re just human and, you know – at least we know we’re alive.”

They lock eyes and for a little while they both lie very still. But then Tyler’s body starts to shake with laughter and James is helpless, he laughs too, and now they’re both just lying there shaking and it feels kind of liberating.

James’s laughter turns into a cough and he clears his throat. “Damn, I need water, my mouth is dry.” He sits back up resting on his hands.

Tyler rises to fetch his glass sitting on the floor beside his feet, hands it to James, urging him to drink. “Here, take this. I figure we can share now that we’ve exchanged spit and drooled on each other.”

James, glass in hand, chuckles before he takes a sip. “Wow, you really know how to make a guy feel welcome. I’m James Paxton, by the way; we didn’t really exchange full names at the door.” He puts down the glass and stretches out his hand to shake Tyler’s.

Tyler grins and shakes his hand for the second time that day. “Tyler Young,” he says and locks eyes with James. “I think we’re gonna be good friends.”

Chapter Text

In between sessions they have thirty minute breaks to gather themselves and discuss how to play out the scenes James is here to read for. Tyler has already been through them a dozen times. James feels like they’ve been running a train over Tyler for so long, making him go through all these emotions so many times Tyler literally must feel broken by now. He swears to himself he’ll do his best to not make Tyler suffer any longer.

Being prepared is half the job and James has no trouble remembering his part of the dialogue in every scene. He’s memorized every word, tapped into every emotion required to play Lukas’ inner conflicts; just as he should. And he is Lukas now, in the cabin along the lake shore, hidden deep in the woods on his father’s land. He’s holding Philip’s face in his hands, curious to know what it feels like to kiss the soft curve of the boy’s lips but so afraid of the consequences if he does, want burning in his belly like wildfire. Philip’s gaze is fixed to the floor; he cannot believe what Lukas is about to do, rejection still ringing clear in his ears, burning red on the side of his face. But Lukas, oh Lukas can’t stop himself now; he’s on a path of destruction running head first into dangerous territory, feeling his body overtake where his imagination fails, and fill in the blanks. Philip’s face when Lukas kisses him, perplexed and incredulous at first, eyes wide and mouth slack. Then burning with a hunger so strong it makes James’ body hot and cold all at once and the buzzing in his head grows into a bone deep shiver as Tyler’s soft lips are on his again and it is far more than he can handle. He’s almost unable to utter his next line.

“No one will ever know about this because you’re never gonna tell.”

His voice shivers cold but his eyes are locked deep within Philip’s and Lukas is hit by surprise when Philip shakes his head and jolts forwards, kisses him passionately and the whole room disappears. There’s just James and Philip, Lukas and Tyler; up is down and the world is shifting around its axis and is there even a going back from this. They don’t even stop to think about what to do next. Shirts are ripped off, hands are tugging at floppy hair and narrow hips, and before they know it one boy is lying on his back while the other hovers closely over him licking hot down his neck. Tyler’s lightly honey colored skin glows in the afternoon sun against the pale expanse of James’ ribs.

They’ve talked about this; discussed it through and through. What they should say and how it should be communicated. Shaved some of the dialogue because actions speak louder than words. Practiced the moves. But doing it, acting it out is a whole other kind of sweet burn.

When Catherine takes a step forward from behind the camera and says “Cut!” and “Thank you!” and “That was really something!” they’re still connected at the lips, tangled together on top of the bed. They lie there without moving, legs still intertwined, hands on each other’s chests, once again breathless.

They both struggle to come down from the high, Tyler’s eyes are closed and his breath is ragged. He looks tired again, one hand on his forehead stroking his hair back. The other is still laying delicately on James’ chest and James just watches him in silence, the taste of him still on his tongue. Catherine is busy behind the camera again; he doesn’t know what she’s doing but he appreciates that she’s not talking to them and let them be for a while. When Tyler opens his eyes they lock with James’ immediately, and a soft smile tugs at his lips.

“You ok?” he asks, stroking James’ chest up and down with just a finger, like he’s not even aware what he’s doing and James is fine with it. It’s soothing and he didn’t even know he needed soothing.

“Yeah” he breathes, gently stroking Tyler’s arm. He’s never felt this calm and collected before, like touching and being touched by Tyler does something to his insides that no other human being has ever been able to do previously, except maybe Elise. She always knows how to calm him after an anxiety attack.

It should worry him, but it doesn’t. It just feels good.

--

It’s late, they’ve packed up after going through two other scenes and Tyler is now in James’ car. He’s actually sitting in the passenger seat beside him, guiding him towards his place. Tyler came with Catherine in the morning and hadn’t made arrangements to be picked up later. James easily offered to give him a ride home so here they are, together, in his car.

James’ belly is doing somersaults, like he’s excited about it. He doesn’t really know what to say after what they just went through, the whole day being dreamlike to him, it’s like he just emerged from a bubble bursting the moment they exited Catherine’s house. Tyler is also silent and pensive, contemplating the world as they drive through the night on the highway, city lights sparkling like colorful gemstones around them. There’s so much life everywhere, even at night. The city never sleeps.

James eventually finds his voice again, clearing his throat as Tyler gives him directions.

“Dude, you actually live like just a block away from my place!”, James exclaims the closer they get, when Tyler gives him the exact address. “I’ll drive by so that you can see where I live?” He makes it a question just in case.

“Really?”, Tyler grins. “Dude, that’s awesome. We can meet up regularly and work on this shit.” He actually sounds excited.

“Hey, we don’t even know if Catherine and Adi are on board yet.” James cards his fingers through his hair, one hand on the steering wheel, eyes on the road in front of him. “I mean, what if Adi doesn’t like what he sees? What if this – thing – between us, the…the chemistry, doesn’t get through the screen?” He’s actually kind of worried about that.

“No, man, don’t even think that way. Don’t you dare. It’s good, it’s all good, you’ll see.” Tyler looks out the window when they pass by James’ apartment. It’s on the twelfth floor, he explains, two floors down from the top. “Not exactly a pent-house, but the view up there is spectacular. When we moved here, we had the opportunity to choose between the second and the twelfth floor. It was easy, plus, we have an extra bedroom for guests. Comes in handy when my parents are in town.”

“That’s really nice.” Tyler smiles, glancing at him. “So do you have any siblings or…?”

“Yeah, yeah I have a sister, Lydia.” James smiles fondly thinking about her. “We’re very close.”

“Oh yeah? I have a sister too, and a brother. Nicole and Stephen. Kind of a full house when we’re all together.” He smiles warmly. “Hey, so here we are, this is me.” Tyler points ahead to the right to a two story apartment villa. “Ours is the one on the right.”

There’s a terrace, and flowers and pottery adorning it. It looks very cozy and welcoming. “That’s my mom, he says, pointing at the decorations, “I mean, the flowers and stuff.”

James parks the car and they grin at each other. “Yeah, my mom kinda takes over everything too, sometimes”, James acquiesces. “So”, he pauses. “here we are. Guess I’ll see you around when I get word? If I don’t get the part…still friends, right?” He’s been a little anxious about this through the whole ride. What if he never gets to see Tyler again? If James doesn’t get the part, Tyler will still be gone filming for almost six months. It’s not really something he wants to think about right now. Not when they’ve just met, and it feels almost like they belong together. As friends, of course.

“Yeah, man. Don’t worry!” Tyler’s smile is so warm, so bright. “I bet you’ll get that callback tonight; tomorrow morning at the latest.” Tyler exits the car, and before he shuts the door behind him he says quietly: “Thanks, dude. For really making an effort today and doing your best. It means a lot. Like really.” The look he gives James is full of gratitude and meaning and…something else? “Oh, and thanks for the ride. I bet I’ll see you within the next couple days.” He grins knowingly. “See ya!”

For a moment, James just sits there, his insides turned upside down and scattered all over the place. He’s so tired he doesn’t know if he can actually drive back home. He’s no longer tense and his body is so slack he’s literally sagging in his seat.

He straightens up after a minute or two and starts the car. The thought of maybe not seeing Tyler again for six months tugs at his stomach. It hurts.

The thought of actually seeing him again in a couple days makes his heart skip a beat. The joy that surges within makes him smile so wide his cheeks hurt. He’s being ridiculous but he’s barely aware of it. The somewhat chaotic state of mind is exhausting and by the time he gets home he feels so sleepy he can barely get himself into the elevator. When he realizes Elise isn’t home waiting for him, he throws himself on the bed without undressing and sleeps until morning.

+

When Tyler gets home Iliana is waiting for him cuddled up on the couch in front of the tv-screen, a take-out menu in her hands. Tyler doesn’t say a word, just flops down beside her leaning in, head on her shoulder, a sigh on his lips. He closes his eyes as her arms envelope him and he sags down, his head now laying on her lap, her hands gently carding through his hair.

“Tyler.” She whispers gently. “Are you hungry?” She strokes a hand down his arm, fingers lacing together with his. “I can order pizza, or maybe sushi, whatever you like. And then we can go to bed and sleep until midday if you wanna.”

“Mmmhh.” He’s literally unable to say a word, but eventually clears his throat, looking around. “Where’s Oliver?”

“He’s asleep in his little basket, so cute. Please don’t wake him up. He’s been playing and cuddling me for a couple hours. He was so tired just now and fell asleep like five minutes before you came home.”

“Ok.” He yawns. “What time is it?”

“Eight thirty. You feeling hungry? I haven’t eaten since lunch.”

Tyler is hungry actually, but he’s not sure he’s able to eat anything. The day has been an emotional rollercoaster and physically demanding too. James has left kind of a mark on him, but he’s unable to put into words even to himself just what and how. The memory of James’ tongue trailing down his neck, licking past his collarbone, grazing a nipple, slightly calloused and warm hands following short after leaves him almost breathless in Iliana’s lap and he can’t just let that happen. He can’t let that feeling envelop him. Iliana is the love of his life and she doesn’t deserve this.

He’s quick to turn around, suddenly hovering over her, mouthing down her neck with a soft breath.

“Actually” he says voice husky as he inhales the sweet scent of her newly washed hair, “let’s hold on to that thought for a while and just…Com’ere.”

She lies down graciously, stretching under him in anticipation, a small smile tugging at her lips. She rips off her blouse, tosses it on the floor and looks up at him with hooded eyes, soft waves surrounding her beautiful face. She spreads her legs in an utterly sexy gesture, leaning in to tear the shirt off his chest. Tyler positions himself between her thighs, slowly melting into her in a tight hug, skin on skin, only her bra clad breasts between them, and the soft fabrics of her miniskirt and his shorts.

Tyler sighs into the nook of her neck adorning it with wet kisses, trailing his tongue down, down, until he can uncover her breasts, kneading them into his palms, a hand soon searching for the soft curve of her ass, pressing her firmly against his hardened length.

God, the softness of her skin, the round parts of her body. The sweet smell of her hair; and her lips…All so different from James’ square shoulders and narrow hips. He’s almost sobbing, this is so familiar, so safe and grounding.

She opens up to him, pliant, wet, warm; and he buries himself inside her, kissing her desperately, wantonly, hot. She’s so soft against him, moaning quietly as he thrusts into her slickness again and again and again until he can hear her come, gasping for air, breathing soft into his ear as she tugs at his hair.

“Come, baby” her voice slurred and soft. “Come for me.” She thrusts into him, lifting her hips, cradling him firmer between her legs, her nails trailing down his spine, hands settling on his ass, squeezing, just as he loves it.

“Aaahh…Iliana…” It’s just a whisper as he comes deep inside her, body going completely slack.

He’s not able to move for several minutes and Iliana cradles him gently. She gets it. He’s exhausted. He could fall asleep inside her, upon her chest, he’s that tired. But it wouldn’t really be fair to her.

After a while she helps him up to sit beside her, eventually gets him in the shower and then tucks him into bed.

“Iliana?” His voice is husky and slurred, it barely carries through the room as she’s about to go back down to get some food before laying down beside him.

“Yeah, baby?”

“I love you.”

He doesn’t see her soft smile, nor hear the words before she leaves the bedroom.

“Love you too, baby.”

He falls asleep immediately and dreams of James and the pale curve of his shoulders, his strong arms enveloping him in a heated embrace. There’s a small smile on Tyler’s lips that is best kept in the dark.

Chapter Text

James wakes up at around eight the next morning. Sunlight is peeking through the blinds and he stretches, rubbing his eyes, yawning. He grabs his phone from the bedstand and finds four unanswered phone calls. Fuck it’s really early for people to call. He hides his face in the pillow for a few seconds before remembering yesterday.

He looks at his phone again, unlocking the screen. Three messages. One from Elise which he opens first.

Hi hon <3
How’d it go?
Liv called
She’s training a new horse
n asked me to join.
You mind?
Fed Bob before I left at six.
Figured you’d be done late.
Love ya <3
Text back as soon as you can.

He didn’t miss her last night, he was too fucking tired. But he really would’ve wanted her to be here right now.

The next two messages are from an unknown number and from Tyler. Tyler fucking messaged him already, that was fast. He grins as he opens it and forgets that he misses his girlfriend.

Congrats man! You got it!
By now there’s likely a ton
of people wanting to speak
with you, so message me
back when you get time for
yourself.
We gotta meet up! :D

The grin on James’ face is so big his jaw’s cracking and he doesn’t know what makes him the happiest; the fact that he got the part or that Tyler messaged him and wants to meet again. Probably both since getting the part means he gets to see Tyler either way.

The phone calls are all from his manager and Catherine. He can tell it’s from her because she also sent a message.

James! You’re probably still sleeping
but I wanted to tell you in person that
you got the part. Your manager is notified
and she’s got all the details.
Congrats and I’ll see you around!
Catherine H.

James feels so fucking elated he just lies there on his back, hands on his head, eyes closed and a big grin across his face. He sighs deeply. Manager first, before anything else.

--

James is drinking his coffee, mug in one hand and phone in the other. The call he made to his manager went well. They’re meeting up later today to discuss the terms of his contract and a possible crash course in motocross. He’s got to get street legal to play the character Lukas who rides his dirt bike throughout the whole show. He can’t wait to get on a bike. He’s always wanted to but never really gotten down to doing it for real. He’s grinning, thinking about that, and that he’s about to call Tyler. Tyler said to text him, but it’s faster to just call. It’s no big deal. They’ll just have a chat and maybe make some plans and things will just – go on from there.

He’s a little nervous, he got to admit that to himself. His leg’s bouncing, doing that thing it always does when he’s on edge. He hasn’t really stopped to think about why Tyler has this effect on him, and he really doesn’t want to. He may be a little afraid to discover what it means.

He looks up Tyler’s number and dials. Tyler answers at the third ring and James’ throat is clogging. He clears it as he hears a “Hey man!” on the other end and he sighs happily.

“Hey! Uhm Tyler!” his grin is so wide he almost can’t speak at all.

“Congrats dude, I knew you’d get it!” James can almost hear Tyler smiling and thinks he must be kinda relieved he doesn’t have to continue watching the endless parade of wannabe Lukases.

“Thanks man! Can’t say I was as optimistic as you, but I’m grateful, you know.” He wonders if Tyler can detect the slight tremble in his voice. “You were very…very…I mean, your presence and your acting felt very real and supportive. You gave it all. I just…thanks.”

“Dude! It was all you, man. You’re different from the others. I don’t know exactly what it is yet, that makes you stand apart, but I’m guessing we’ll find out soon enough.” The smile in Tyler’s voice is so obvious James can’t help but chuckle a little. “So I’m guessing your day is packed; you probably have to go see your manager and stuff, but…would you – uhm, would you like to come over for dinner tonight? Bring your girlfriend too?”

“Oh yeah! I mean, Elise is out of town right now but I can come visit, yeah, sure.” James can barely contain his excitement. “Thanks…Tyler. It’s very nice of you to invite me over. When should I be there?”

“Let’s say around six? Ili is cooking, by the way. We’re trying out vegan food. Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, sure! I’m in!”

“Nice! See you later then!”

“See ya! Bye!”

James can't stop himself from grinning, his cheeks hurt. He grabs his journal lying on the table and writes a few words in it, just to mark the date. The day he became an Eyewitness. The day he knew things would change.

--

Tyler’s been edgy all day. Sure, he was feeling well talking to James on the phone earlier but there’s something bugging him and he’s not willing to acknowledge exactly what it is. When he woke up this morning around seven he was still tired, but the first thing he thought about was the day before and the smile that spread on his face came naturally. He’d gotten a text from Catherine notifying him about James getting the part, and two from his agent concerning other acting jobs.

Iliana’s out shopping with her girlfriends and all Tyler has to do is go to the grocery store around the corner and get supplies for tonight’s dinner. So that’s what he does. He makes sure Oliver has enough food and water in his bowls before leaving. He doesn’t like leaving Oliver, he’s still just a tiny little puppy, but dogs are not allowed in the store.

“I’ll walk you when I come back,” he says, cuddling Ollie, scratching behind his ears, a soft kiss on his snout before leaving. He can hear the puppy whimper as he locks the door.

--

Tyler walks Ollie when he comes back, cuddles him for a while; they play ball on the floor until the puppy falls asleep in his lap. He takes a shower and starts on dinner. He’s starting to worry about Iliana; hasn’t heard from her since the morning.

As if on command, his phone starts ringing and it’s her, thank God.

“Tyler!” He can hear faint laughter in the background. “Sorry for not calling earlier but I actually thought my phone was lost for a while, I couldn’t find it…”

“You lost your phone?” Tyler chuckles. “Thank God you found it again, huh?”

“Yeah, you know where? – It was in one of Ana’s shopping bags?! I mean, come on – how did I manage to put it there? Found it when we went through everything at the restaurant.”

“Wait, you’re eating out? Did you forget about our guest tonight?”

The line goes silent for a second.

“Shit.” Iliana sounds mildly exasperated. “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.” She sighs. “Listen – why don’t I just sit this one out. Bree just invited us over to her place, there’s gonna be a party – a surprise party for her brother’s birthday. I – maybe you and, uh, James can bond over dinner. I mean – you must have lots to talk about anyways and I’d just be in the way, right?”

Tyler sighs. Iliana tends to forget things sometimes, when she’s caught up in fun and laughter with her friends. She never does it on purpose, it’s just the way she is, and he loves her for that too. It’s not a big deal, just a quiet meal with a new friend.

“Yeah, okay, Ili.” He smiles into the phone. “It’s no big deal; you go have fun. I’ll make pizza or something and get acquainted. Will you be home late?”

“Tyleeeer…I’m so sorry.” She seems really sorry indeed. “I might just spend the night, I don’t know how late it’ll be and it’s on the other side of town, so…Can you give Ollie a kiss from me?”

“Yeah, sure, Ili. Listen – have fun! I mean it! I’ll manage.”

“Of course you’ll manage! I’ve just been stupid, forgetting this was important to you. I was having so much fun I didn’t realize how late it was until I called you. I’m so sorry, babe. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“You always do, Ili.” Tyler smiles and remembers all the times she really went all out to make up for things she felt she’d done wrong. Worth it every time. He never blamed her for anything though. They’re the kind of couple who rarely argue. They have too much fun together. Part of that is Ili’s quirky and forgetful personality. She’s perceived as too much for some people; quite a handful. But to Tyler she’s just the handful he needs to keep it all together. She’s the love of his life.

They hang up and Tyler sighs. He’ll manage, alright.

--

James has been so elated all day, he’s slowly getting more and more nervous about the whole thing. It’s one thing to be on set together – or in this case, in Catherine’s house (on her fucking bed, for Christ’s sake). It’s a whole new game being alone with Tyler in his apartment.

He’d gotten a text earlier saying Iliana had been held up on the other side of town, that it would only be the two of them, and if James would mind going through the scenes again without a spectator? Because they had to establish a believable relation between them and this would be a good time to do that. When they’re alone.

He’d said yes; of course he had. So fucking fast, Jesus Christ.

He might not survive the night, he thinks, now that he’s standing on Tyler’s porch waiting for him to answer the door. His whole body is fucking vibrating, heart thumping hard and fast in his chest. Foot tapping the floor nervously; fingers tapping the door frame. Everything seems out of place. Like he’s not in his own body anymore.

Thank God he showered just an hour ago. This time he’s not smelling bad. Actually, he smells like a damn beauty shop. He’s got too many products aligned on the bathroom counter after all the modeling jobs he’s been through the last year.

He wonders if he looks alright; white v-neck under a black blazer, skinny jeans and boots. Maybe he should’ve skipped the boots. He twists the black leather bracelets around his wrist; fidgets with the silver chain around his neck. It’s not a fucking date, but damn it; it feels like one.

Fuck it. He’s okay. It’s okay. Everything’s fine.

When the door opens and Tyler appears, a button up shirt the color of red wine clinging to the square of his shoulders and his long legs in black jeans, a tiny adorable puppy on his arm, everything falls into its rightful place. He’s seeing Tyler again, and that’s the only thing that matters.

Chapter Text

They’re eating vegan pizza and drinking red wine in fucking candle light. If this ain’t a date, it sure looks like one.

James is unsure of what’s going to happen next because they’re talking and having a really good time, both of them laughing wholeheartedly at each other’s jokes and gossip about the movie making business. And it just feels so fucking natural, the conversation flowing between them like they’re old friends.

Maybe it’s just meant to be, James thinks; a thought that comes to mind when there’s a pause in the constant flow of words and laughter spilling out of them, their eyes locking for a moment longer than necessary through the glowing dim light of candles. The connection between them is unmistakable, Tyler’s gaze fixed on him as they move from the dinner table to the couch, Ollie climbing into James’ lap.

James thinks he may be a little bit in love with the puppy, a cavalier king with the biggest, brownest eyes James has ever seen – except for its owner. Ollie is definitely in love with him. He holds the puppy tight, nuzzling its snout as the dog whines for more attention, like it can’t get enough of it. James speaks to it, voice low and sweet, holding him up to his face, while Tyler clears the dinner table and brings over the half empty bottle of wine.

“It’s a pretty picture,” Tyler says, smiling, hands in his pockets, staring.

“What is?” James asks, flushing red and pretty much convinced Tyler’s talking about him and Ollie.

Tyler gets serious for a moment. “I’m…I…you know, we need to figure out this thing, this connection, because in a few weeks we’re going to have to fall in love with each other every morning for six months if we want it to work on screen.” He cards a hand through his hair and sighs. “I don’t think I’ll have a problem with that.” Tyler lowers his gaze to the floor for a second, before peeking through his long, long eyelashes. “What…do you think?...How do you feel about that?”

James’ heart races in his chest. Lightheaded, he lets Ollie go and stares at Tyler. His breathing isn’t quite even and his mouth dry. He swallows thickly and gets up on his feet. Not too close to Tyler though. This feels like dangerous territory.

“I think” he says, words piling up in his mind, afraid they’ll get twisted on their way out. “I think it’s awesome that…that there’s this weird sort of, chemistry, between us. I think we’ll manage pretty well.”

“Yeah, I do too,” Tyler replies. “We just have to make sure it doesn’t look, you know, forced.”

“Sure, that’s the whole point after all. But yeah, I get it. For it to look real, we need to get more than comfortable with each other.”

“Right. We want that natural flow, effortless interactions, whether we’re kissing or fighting on screen.” Tyler chuckles. “I think there’s gonna be a lot of angst going around.”

“Man, I know for a fact. I’ve been going through some background on Lukas, trying to figure him out and make up more of the backstory, just to get the real feel of him, you know? He’s angsty as fuck and I’m just getting started. I didn’t wanna go too deep in case I wasn’t chosen to play him.”

“Hah, but you were and I think that’s the best thing that could’ve happened. We’re gonna nail this.”

Tyler comes closer and raises his hand to high-five him, and James smiles and thinks that’s it, but Tyler doesn’t let go of his hand and they lock eyes and just stand there for a while. Until they both start smiling, smirking at each other, chuckling and letting go.

“Come on,” Tyler says, and heads for the kitchen counter. He’s got a bunch of papers lying on top of it and it turns out it’s the script for the whole first episode of the show. He’s printed out a copy for James and hands it to him.

“So we’ve been through the cabin scene enough times, don’t you think?” Tyler asks James. “There’s a fight scene I don’t think is wise to take on here – I don’t wanna bust any furniture,” he chuckles. “But there’s a final scene between us we should definitely rehearse.”

“Yeah, sure. I mean – my manager sent me the script this morning, actually. I skimmed through it and thought maybe we could go through some of it together. Definitely the last scene. We should at least talk through the fight scene, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, let’s start there.”

They read through the scene to themselves first, then talk through it; about actions and reactions, about how scared Philip is and how Lukas doesn’t seem to pick up on that because of his own fear. They drink more wine, standing by the kitchen counter. A lot more wine. Ollie goes to sleep in his little basket by the couch in the livingroom, the candles are almost burnt down, and the music that’s been playing quietly in the background all evening suddenly stands out in a moment of silence between them. They sway a little, the script copies haphazardly thrown onto the counter, trading giggles and a few light touches; Tyler’s hand on James’ arm; James’ hand on Tyler’s back. Not crossing any lines; just friendly.

Arcade Fire’s Chemistry starts playing and James bends in half, laughing his ass off hearing the lyrics.

“I got the money, and I got the time
I got a secret, gonna make you mine
I can feel you making eyes at me
Baby you can try, but you can't deny
Chemistry (chemistry)
Chemistry (chemistry)
Chemistry (chemistry)
Chemistry (chemistry)”

They start dancing awkwardly around each other as Tyler turns up the sound and grins at him, and James feels free. Free to dance and to be himself around Tyler. Maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it isn’t. It’s not like he hasn’t downed a bottle of wine before, on his own. But maybe…maybe it’s more than the wine making him dizzy. Maybe it’s the chemistry.

“Put your eyes on another glass
Ask for another you can take your chance
Ask for a dance with another boy
My heart's a city, you're out to destroy
Chemistry (destroy me)
Chemistry (chemistry)
Chemistry (baby, destroy me)
Chemistry”

Tyler clinks his half empty glass against James’ and sways against him, eyes sparkling and warm.

“Dance with your boyfriend all night long
Tell him you really really love his song
Close your eyes, it’s me you're gonna see
Ain't no way to fake it"

James’ grin almost splits his face in half, clinks his glass right back at Tyler’s before leaving it on the counter, the wine sloshing. Tyler drinks up and leaves his own glass dangerously close to the edge of the counter. He sings along, wholeheartedly. James doesn’t know the lyrics, but he follows Tyler’s moves, follows his lips moving, eyes fixed on him.

"Chemistry (chemistry)
Chemistry (chemistry)
You and me, we've got (chemistry)
Chemistry
You and me, we've got (chemistry)
Baby you and me
Could this be that (chemistry)
Chemistry, baby you and me
Go to the city, go to the store
Ask for a loan from another bank
Call your mother, make an excuse
I'm gonna have you baby it's no use
I know you
(Chemistry) girl I know you
(Chemistry) feel like I know you
Chemistry
Well you've got one choice, maybe two
You can leave with me or I'll go with you
I know you haven't even met me yet
But you're gonna love me baby when you get to know me
you know me
(Chemistry) girl you know me
(Chemistry) feel like you know me
Right, you and me, we've got (chemistry)
Baby you and me
Could this be that (chemistry)…”

Tyler and James are dancing. Awkwardly, with arms and legs everywhere at first, but then, as the song fades out and a new one begins, they sway against each other again. Closer, this time, to another beat. The 1975’s Somebody Else; not quite what James usually listens to, but it’s nice.

“…I don't want your body
But I hate to think about you with somebody else…”

Tyler’s getting closer and they start dancing again, close, closer, hips almost touching, faces red, eyes sparkling, both glowing hot. James sheds his jacket and it lands on the floor. He doesn’t care.

“I’m gonna kiss you now,” Tyler says, closing in on him, his hands landing on James’ shoulders.

“Oh”, is all James manages to breathe out.

“This is just…work related…you know.” Tyler shrugs. “We’re getting acquainted. Comfortable.” He sways closer. “Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.” James can’t find any reason to protest that line of thought, and tugs him closer, hands around Tyler’s waist.

This time there’s no one else around. This time, there’s no script. It’s just them. Just them getting the hang of it. Of kissing each other. Because that’s what they’ll be doing the whole summer ahead.

--

Tyler’s drunk. Like really drunk. They’re on their second bottle of wine but it’s fine; it’s all fine.

He can see James is drunk too, and maybe, just maybe, they shouldn’t be doing this. Being so close. Hands on each other. In the back of his mind he knows this is just – not real. They’re just trying to get comfortable around each other, enough to make it look natural on screen, nothing else. This means nothing. It means nothing. It’s work.

Tyler keeps reminding himself that as he’s being drawn into James’ arms, his own around James’ broad shoulders. It’s so different from being with Iliana. Then Tyler’s the strong one; the one holding her. Now he feels weak, suddenly, like he’s the one needing support. As if Iliana ever needed support. Their relationship isn’t like that; they’re equals. But this – this is…This is what bugged him this morning. What he felt he missed, the instant he woke up.

Oh.

Their eyes are locked; they’re swaying from side to side. Like it eases what they’re about to do. Like standing still would make it too serious.

Tyler’s face approaches James’ cautiously. James breathes out; swallows thickly; wets his lips with his tongue; his hands splayed out on Tyler’s back. Tyler can feel the heat of them through his shirt. Is it hot in here or is it just him?

They’re so close now, breathing hot in each other’s space, their lips almost, almost touching. A shiver goes through James, he can feel it. Tyler closes the space between them, his mouth on James’, his tongue immediately licking James’ lips. The shudder that goes through James this time results in a tighter grip around his waist, a hand coming up to cup his face, the kiss deepening instantaneously, tongues intertwined, soft, wet.

Holy mother of God.

He didn’t know what he missed this morning until he got it; right here, right now.

Tyler’s hands are in James’s hair, tugging, hard. James’ hand on Tyler’s back is clutching at his shirt, rucks it up over the waistband of his jeans, his hand touching hot skin, skating up and down before settling, firm and steady on Tyler’s waist. It’s almost a brutal grip, as James backs him up against the nearest wall, never breaking the kiss, nearly knocking over the kitchen chairs. The scarping of the chairs against the floor doesn’t even bother them. Tyler can only hear the sound through cotton walls, his mind dizzy, his chest almost in ruins and his dick throbbing in his pants. The swell of James’ dick through his clothes is the hottest thing Tyler has felt since yesterday afternoon. When James rubs himself up against him and moans, his eyes closed, lips kissing down Tyler’s neck, Tyler’s knees weaken and he’s grateful there’s a wall holding him up, as well as a strong pair of arms.

James’ hands are unbuttoning Tyler’s shirt, unhurried, as they keep kissing. Tyler’s hands have their own life, dipping beneath the hem of James’ shirt, touching his warm skin, goosebumps cropping up as he goes. A moan escapes James’ mouth.

Tyler never thought it would come to this. He never thought they’d lose control. He moans back at James because it feels so good. So damn good. The need to be closer is overwhelming.

“J-James,” he whispers, his voice low and cracking.

“Uh,” is all he gets back. Then “aah”, and James’ mouth is covering his again, one hand tugging at his hair, the other grabbing his ass to pull him closer, and that’s when Tyler loses it. Thinks fuck it all, and splays his own hands around James’ ass.

They pull each other closer, hands getting in the way as they tear at each other’s buttons and flies. They don’t get far. The urge is too strong, and they rub against each other through layers of underwear, hands clutching where they can, frantically kissing and moving, panting and moaning. It’s wild. It’s untamed. It’s beautiful.

Tyler comes first, his fists in James’ hair, his breath hitching. James follows, choking on air, a sob on his lips, a tight grip around Tyler’s waist.

They’re breathing hard, James’ forehead leaning on Tyler’s, eyes closed.

There isn’t much to say.

They clutch at each other. It’s hard to let go, to part. But they have to. They have to. They can’t - . They just – can’t.

They’re still drunk. James sways dangerously, like he’s about to topple over.

“Com’ere,” Tyler says, voice raspy. He wraps an arm around James’ back and helps him back into the livingroom and down onto the couch. “Lay down.”

James does; doesn’t put up a fight. He looks overwhelmed and tired.

“Tyler?” His voice isn’t quite steady.

“Yeah.”

“Are we…” He can’t even complete the sentence.

“Yeah.” Tyler nods. “We’re okay. It’s okay. We’ll talk later.”

James settles with that, his eyes closing. Tyler flops down on the rug beneath the couch. He doesn’t have the strength to move another inch.

They both fall asleep, and nothing and no one disturbs them until morning.