Chapter Text
The monotone, “Ding” that indicated I could get off the plane rang and I reluctantly stood up, grabbing my bag from the overhead storage compartment. I pushed my way through the aisle to get off the plane and stepped off the last step to find myself at the airport in Berlin. God, this year was going to suck. Being forced into being a foreign exchange student to Germany was just the highlight of my boring summer. What made this worse was that it was senior year, and I won’t get to spend it with the few friends I had back in Atlanta. Or even my, now, ex-boyfriend. I should’ve known he would cheat on me eventually. But I didn’t expect with the cheerleading captain who I despise so much. Aubrey, with her way-too-perky-to-be-legal attitude and bitchy personality, was the one who made the last three years of my life hell, but a fairly tolerable one. I was glad to get away from her when I got the chance, but I didn’t want it to be Germany where I didn’t know anybody and I could just barely speak German.
Unfortunately for me, I was deemed the best at German in the eyes of my school’s foreign language department. I hated that I was chosen, but I was vaguely interested in the chance to see a European country before I spent the rest of my life in studios, recording artists, and doing nothing but getting lost in the music. That’s what I’ve always loved about music, the fact that I can get so into a song, I completely forget the outside world and get lost in my own. Which is where I am as I walked through the terminal gate and didn’t notice the large sign with my name plastered onto it. I walked a few more feet, and suddenly a ginger girl about my height is in my face. I took off my headphones, which were blasting a mash-up of various Panic! At The Disco songs, and tuned in to what the ginger was saying. “Hey! Are you Beca? My name’s Chloe,” she ranted, pulling me into a hug. I stood there, shocked, and frozen. Do I have to spend a whole year with her? I answered politely, “Yes, I’m Beca. You must be part of my host family.”
“Well, duh! How else would I know you?” She pulled away, hands still on my shoulders.
“If you were one of my Tumblr friends that was stalking me?” I sarcastically proposed.
“What’s Tumblr? Is that like some sort of cup? Whatever, you’re here!” She hugged me again, and I wondered how I will survive with her as my host sister. She doesn’t know what Tumblr is, and I’m actually quite triggered right now, though I don’t show it. I followed her to two adults who I assumed were her parents, both gingers with blue eyes like Chloe. They were as excited to see me as Chloe was, and again I wondered how I was going to survive the year with such giddiness surrounding me. I may eventually get used to it, but definitely not now. Now I just want to start school and go almost entirely unnoticed. I’m not off to a good start by being an American in Germany, but that doesn’t mean I can’t shut myself off from everyone and everything for the whole year.
********
We arrived at Chloe’s house, which reminded me of a typical suburb in Atlanta, but only smaller. Not to be stereotypical, but almost everything in Europe was smaller. Smaller houses, smaller cars, and yes, even smaller people. A lot of the people I met or ran into because I wasn’t paying attention were about my height, or maybe a bit taller. It was quite comical actually. I thought I might get used to smaller. While the house looked small on the outside, it was actually pretty big inside. Chloe grabbed me by the hand and dragged me upstairs to show me my room. I got my own small room, not much smaller than my room in Atlanta, but there was enough room for me to have all of my music equipment in one corner and a desk in the other corner in front of the window that showed the street to the right of the house. I put my duffel bag and laptop bag on the bed, sat on the edge of the bed, then laid back with a sigh.
“What’s wrong?” Chloe asked, standing to the side of me. I took a few more deep breaths before responding, “Nothing, Chloe. I’m just tired from the jet lag, I guess.”
“So should we hold off on a tour of the city for tomorrow? Because the summer festival will still be here tomorrow.”
“No, it’s fine. We can go, I just . . . can I get a glass of water?” Chloe nodded as she left the room and went downstairs to retrieve the water. My frustration with this entire situation had become too much for me, so I angrily hit my pillow against the wall. I had to admit it did relieve some of my anger toward my dad who sent me to this godforsaken country for the next year. I got in about one more hit before Chloe came back and handed me a cup of ice water. I drank about half of it, then I was almost out of breath. I caught my breath and set the glass down onto the table next to my bed. “Okay, so where are we going?” I questioned, wanting to get this over with.
“Just to the festival. Nothing too exciting. Almost everyone who’s going to be in school will be there, so you’ll be able to make a few more friends before school starts.”
“Yay.” I got off the bed and followed Chloe downstairs and into the kitchen, where her parents were.
“Hey, Mom, Dad. Can I go show Beca the festival that’s just in town?”
“Sure, sweetheart. What a great idea to make Beca feel more acquainted with our country,” her mother agreed, sipping some of her coffee.
“If you’re going to take her into town, take her to the pub as we frequently go there to celebrate, well, anything,” her father explained, also sipping on coffee.
“If you’re going by there, make sure to get another bottle of whiskey,” her mother added, handing Chloe about 50 euros.
“Jameson or Laphroaig?” Chloe specified, getting Jameson as her answer.
“‘Kay, thanks! See you later!” Chloe yelled, pulling me out the door. Just before the door completely shut, I heard her father shout back, “Don’t get too drunk!” We walked down the sidewalk together, talking about our families and, though I am typically opposed to such things, we talked about our aspirations for the future. She apparently wanted to be a veterinarian who was married before thirty and had kids by 35. I had no such intentions for love or kids like she did, I just wanted to produce music and live out my days with the music in my head. I didn’t want a husband because I don’t do well with emotions other than angst or anger, and I didn’t want kids because I would always have to live up to their expectations, and not try my best that I can. It makes me think of my own parents. My mom tried the best she could, but my dad didn’t think it was enough for me so that caused many of the problems they have today. They’re divorced because they couldn’t figure out any of the problems, and I honestly blame myself for it.
I didn’t explain all of that to Chloe, but I silently thought about it in the back of my head as we came to the pub Chloe’s father was talking about. Chloe and I walked in, turning a few heads when we did. Chloe walked directly to the bartender, who I assumed she knew by their interaction and ordered the bottle of Jameson for pick up when we were coming back around. She left the money required, and we continued on our way to the festival. Eventually, I heard music playing in an open field and knew we were close. There were rides, games, and vendors, things you’d typically see at festivals of this size. Chloe went up and purchased our tickets, which gave us unlimited rides and games for the rest of the day. I wasn’t looking forward to any of it, but I was willing to at least make friends with Chloe so I could say I made at least one friend. Even if that meant riding the Ferris wheel, though I’m terrified of heights. Not severely, but scared enough to be mortified in a rickety car suspended nearly a hundred feet in the air.
Chloe saw that I was looking down into the car and not the view, and kind of teased, “You’re afraid of heights!”
“No. I mean, yes, but like, only at this height or more. I can handle ladders, and fairly large skyscrapers, but not this.”
“That’s alright Becs, you’ll get used to it.” I internally cringed at the nickname, “Becs” but didn’t acknowledge it since I was too busy trying not to puke my guts out. The ride ended, and Chloe instantly dragged me to another insane thrill ride. A few rides later, my stomach growled so I didn’t have to ask if we could get something to eat. Chloe ordered our food for us in German, most of which I understood, pulling, “cinnamon pretzel” and, “beer” from the conversation. Chloe handed me the drink, to which I refused, “Dude, no! I don’t want to get drunk!”
“No, Beca. It’s Birch Beer. It tastes like your American Root Beer, only better.” Taking caution, I sipped the drink and nearly chugged the rest it was so good. I took a rather large bite of pretzel, loved the taste, and quickly devoured the rest. Chloe watched in awe before she could muster, “Damn, what they say about Americans and food is true.”
“Well, when you’re hungry and given something that tastes better than anything you’ve ever eaten in your life, then it becomes a bit hard to resist your instincts.”
“Okay, but what the hell! It usually takes me like half an hour to eat one of these, and it took you less than five minutes.”
“What can I say? If there’s one thing I love more than music, it’s food. Now hurry up and eat your’s before I do.” Chloe got about halfway finished, then handed it to me to finish, which it was gone in two minutes. “You know, I may never understand you Americans and your obsession with food,” she commented as I was cleaning my fingers of the cinnamon sugar. I laughed about the American stereotyping based off me, but then we played different games, only winning a small teddy bear for knocking down two out of the three milk bottles. I let Chloe keep the bear since it was colored like the German flag, and she was definitely the more German enthusiast. She laughed about it when I told her, and once the sun was starting to set, we made our way back to Chloe’s house. We stopped back at the pub to pick up the bottle of whiskey Chloe ordered and brought it home with us. When we gave it to her parents, all they said was, “Oh no, that’s for you two. Think of it as a ‘Coming to Germany’ gift.” Chloe was ecstatic, while I was almost scared shitless at the thought of drinking any form of alcohol before college.
Regardless, Chloe grabbed two whiskey glasses and brought them up to my room. We sat on my bed while Chloe opened the twist-off cork bottle, talking about what school was going to be like and what not. “I will take you to all your classes for the first, like, two weeks until you’re able to find them on your own. But luckily, we have two classes together, though one of them is lunch, the other being Physics I believe,” She explains, taking a big gulp of Jameson. “There’s not really anyone, in particular, you should watch out for, but whatever you do, do not. I repeat. Do Not mess with the star tennis player. She may seem all innocent on the outside, but step out of line with her once, and you’ve committed social suicide.” My opposition to the foreign exchange student idea burrowed itself deeper in me when I heard of the “Head Honcho” as we Americans say. The idea of running into her on the first day was horrifying. Hell, running into her at any point in the year was sure to bring fuckery in the worst possible way. In typical fashion, I was curious to know what she looked like so I could avoid anyone with similar looks. “What does she look like so I can stay away from anyone who looks remotely like her?”
“Tall, blonde, blue eyes and I’m no longer going to be objective about it, but she’s hot. Like super hot. You’ll know her when you see her. I meant that in a totally No-Homo way if you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, sure. I guess.” I took a swig of Jameson, only to have Chloe essentially force me to chug the rest. My throat hurt like a bitch after that, but that didn’t stop Chloe from pouring me another drink.
“Anyway, other than that, there’s not much else to know. Any questions?”
“Yes. Can I go to sleep now? Jet lag plus alcohol doesn’t seem like a good combination,” I proposed, setting my glass on the nightstand. Chloe could see she was being a bit suffocating for my first day here, so she got off the bed, grabbed my glass, and finished the entire drink in two gulps. “Damn, you Germans and your alcohol,” I pointed out sarcastically, referencing her earlier comment on Americans and food. She gave me a smug smile as she exited the room with the bottle of whiskey and two empty glasses. I laid back on my bed and thought of all the things I needed to do during the year. The first being avoid this supposed German Goddess Chloe was talking about.
Chapter 2
Notes:
Thus begins the awkward flirting.
Chapter Text
I woke up pretty early to Chloe’s calling from down the hall. I would’ve woken up in a few minutes anyway, their school oddly starts around the same time mine did. Of course, with the different time zones, it’s the same time, but six hours ahead. So while I’m getting up for school, everyone back home would be just getting to bed. I realized that as I climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I opened the door to find Chloe completely naked, stepping out of the shower. She had her hair up in a loose bun, and she didn’t notice me until I yelled, “Dude! Could’ve given me a warning!” She looked at me, not with surprise, but with a smile as if this wasn’t the first time this has happened. I tried to leave to give her a few minutes to get covered, but she grabbed my wrist and said, “If you need to use the bathroom, I can get out. We still have another, like, forty-five minutes before we have to leave for school.” I desperately kept my head looking in any other direction besides Chloe’s because I didn’t want to see her in the nude.
“I can’t concentrate on what you're saying until you cover your junk,” I explained, and she let go of my wrist. She motioned to her body while she bragged, “Yeah. I’m pretty confident about all of this.” I wouldn’t say she bragged as much as she flaunted, but it sounded close enough.
“I see that. Now can you please cover up so I can brush my teeth?”
“Fine. Just answer one question.”
“Which is?”
“Aren’t you excited for your first day of senior year?”
“Um . . . yeah, I guess. Now can you like, you know?”
“Oh yeah sure.” Instead of wrapping herself in a towel, she just walked back to her room, passing her mother who greeted me with a joyful, “Good Morning Beca!” I asked her how often that happened, and she told me she was surprised Chloe wasn’t a nudist already, which made me think that it happened fairly often. I hurriedly brushed my teeth and got out the most random outfit. A maroon tank top, skinny jeans, a gray cardigan, and combat boots. I threw that on and then did my hair and makeup. I put on so much eyeliner and eye makeup that my eyes almost looked cartoonish. Who knew edgy could look so comical yet give the exact vibe I wanted it to? I just radiated, “Don’t fucking talk to me,” and I loved it. Hopefully, this would be enough to keep people besides Chloe away from me. Especially that Kommissar chick. I did not want to run into her at all, but if I had any luck, she would be slightly intimidated by my demeanor and leave me the hell alone.
********
I had no such luck.
Chloe had just shown me where my locker was and she went to go to hers, which was just down the hall. I crouched down to access my locker since it was a bottom locker, and I fumbled with the lock for a bit before I could open my locker. I shoved what I thought I wouldn’t need for the day in the metal box, and closed it, replacing the lock on the door. I stood, turned around, and walked straight into someone. I hit a wall of solid chest and muscle. I immediately backed up to see a gorgeous and tall woman standing in front of me. “I-I’m sorry,” was all I could manage as I took in every inch of her beauty. Her blonde hair was down around her shoulders and looked windswept like she just got off a motorcycle or something. I thought it best to assume she did just get off a motorcycle by the leather jacket she was wearing, and not to mention the motorcycle helmet that was under her arm. She was staring at me intensely with such blue eyes I could just melt in if I stared long enough. They reminded me of the electric blue skies of Atlanta, and I found myself getting lost like I only did with music.
I barely even noticed her other angelically carved features that only added to the surrealism of her entirely. I swallowed hard and tried to back away from her, but I was caught by the lockers. I was literally caught between a rock of solid muscle and a hard place. I was internally freaking out so badly. I had no idea what to do, but cower against the wall and continue to make excuses. “I’m sorry. I didn’t see you, but I don’t know how I could’ve, given you’re, like, a six-foot gorgeous specimen.” Fuck! Why was it so hard to talk right now?! I didn’t need to because she slowly took a step toward me, and I was frozen still. She bent down to be face to face with me and proceeded to mock me. “Oh, so you’re ze American that will be here for the year? Might I say, I expected you to be . . . taller?” She emphasized her last word to make the point that I was small, and while I knew I was, there was no need to point it out. When I didn’t answer, she just continued to insult me.
“Surely they didn’t send such a Tiny Maus to represent the big city of Atlanta, now did they? Then again, it makes my job much easier because I don’t have to show some asshole jock who’s the boss around here. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have a bit of fun with you while you’re here.” She winked at me when she said that, but then insulted, “Now I need to get to my locker, and no matter how small you may be, you’re still in front of it so,” she set down her helmet and grabbed me by the waist, picking me up and placing me to the side. She made a shooing motion with her hand, “Go along Kleine Maus. I’ll be seeing you later, but I might have to look down to do so.” I felt a deep blush seep into my cheeks as she picked up her helmet and unlocked her locker. She messed with a few things in the compartment, ignoring my presence. I stared wide-eyed and mouth slightly parted at her for what felt like forever before Chloe came up behind me, turning me around to her. I was still in a bit of a haze when she started to pull me to my first class, but I looked back and saw a smirk form across those perfect lips that just insulted me. I knew that she was The Kommissar once I thought about what Chloe told me about her appearance.
Yes, I expected her to look somewhat beautiful based on Chloe’s apparently, “No Homo” remark, but nothing could have prepared me for the drop-dead gorgeous human being whose locker was directly above mine. I nearly fainted at the thought. Luckily, with Chloe’s grip on my hand, I wouldn’t fall over if the floor spontaneously ripped open and the entire city of Berlin was once again split into two. Right now, my mind was splitting in two. I had no idea what was happening to me. Am I into girls? No, I can’t be. I had a boyfriend . . . that I broke up with because he cheated on me with my arch nemesis. Well, fuck. I just saw the most beautiful person in my life, and now I’m questioning my sexuality. Why was she so hot? No. Don’t think about her. Don’t think about her. Don’t think about her. Don’t think about how much you wished you could’ve kissed that damn smirk off her face. Damn it! I’m straight! I’m straight! I’m straight! I’M STRAIGHT! I try to convince myself of this fact as Chloe dropped my hand and walked to her class.
I walked into the classroom, looked around at everyone, nobody I knew was here, and I calmly took the nearest open seat. It was right by the door so I could get out faster, and far from the teacher’s desk so I wouldn’t be called on much. I just settled in when someone else walked in the door. I glanced up in time to catch the person’s gaze, and when I saw the blue, I knew it was The Kommissar. She had taken her jacket off and was wearing a loose dark blue tank top, with tight leather pants, and combat boots. I saw her lacy black bra, because like I said, she was wearing a loose tank top. She saw me and immediately shouted, “Tiny Maus! We meet again!” I swear her voice dropped like an entire octave when she said the second sentence, and I was once again sexually confused. She sat directly next to me, and while I avoided eye contact, she taunted me with insults she thought of right now. “Well Maus looks like we’re going to be working very closely together, so I might need to rest my neck sometimes because it will get very sore from looking down at you.”
I attempted to make a strong comeback, but I only got out, “Okay, just because you’re making me very sexually confused, does not mean you’re intimidating.” What the hell did I just say? All she did was laugh, and said, “Should change your name to Feisty Maus.” I should note that The Kommissar forever calls me Maus, and almost never by my actual name. By that time, the bell had rung and everyone settled into their desired seats. The teacher stood in front of the class, and in German, introduced himself. “My name is Mr. Schneider. And we have a foreign exchange student with us for the rest of the year, Beca Mitchell.” He gestured for me to come to the front of the class, and gradually I walked to the front of the class. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, but none of them mattered as much as Kommissar’s. She knew she sexually confused me, thanks to a slip up on my part, and she was going to milk it for all it was worth. The teacher began explaining where I was from, and basically going over my whole life story that ended me here when Kommissar flipped her hair to one shoulder and smirked at me. All I could do was watch as she mentally teased me with her body. She stretched upward, which pulled her tank top up to reveal her toned, and ungodly tanned stomach, just as Mr. Schneider asked me to tell the class something about myself. So many thoughts were rushing through my mind, and me being me, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “I’m 100% straight!”
Mr. Schneider waited a second to register what I had said and then sent me back to my seat, seeing how embarrassed I was. I quickly went back to my seat, thoroughly disappointed in myself, and glared at Kommissar, who was silently laughing her ass off. The rest of class was filled with boring lectures of the class rules like we were all fifth graders with no sense of control, and the occasional tease from Kommissar. God, I haven’t even known her for an entire hour and I already hate her. In the past fifteen minutes, she’s turned my usual not caring attitude to complete-spaz-attack-every-time-she-looks-at-me. And it all has to do with her utter beauty. No! Stop it, Mitchell! Stay calm! Just make it to lunch and then you can try to talk to Chloe, though you’ve never been really good with communicating anything. Whatever, pay attention to the time and not get distracted by the ball of pure radiance sitting to your left. I thanked the heavens the bell rang when it did because my thoughts were going to hell, and I may be going to the same place if I kept it up.
A few hours later, lunch came and I waited for Chloe to come get me to bring me to take me to the cafeteria when Kommissar passed me. She stopped where she was and yelled across the hall, “Is Tiny Maus lost? Or is everyone too big for you to push past?” She laughed at me when she saw how flustered I got, then she walked away. I huffed out a few times, and Chloe suddenly appeared in front of me. “Jesus Christ Chloe! You can’t just do that! You nearly scared the shit out of me!” I screamed, being taken away by the hand. “Oh calm down, Beca! We need to get there before all the sushi is gone!” Chloe shouted back, going down the stairs at such a rapid pace I wondered how she didn’t break her ankle with the heels she was wearing. After going down, like, three flights of stairs, we crossed a bridge and we were in the cafeteria. The room was huge with many tables and chairs. There was a lot of space in between the tables so people could easily have a fight in the center of the room.
We sat down, and Chloe went and got our food because I didn’t care what she got for me. She brought back two servings of sushi, and we ate in some form of peace with the various sounds coming from other tables. There were a few other people sitting at our table, two were in a relationship. If I recall those two were Ashley and Jessica, while the other two at our table was a freshman named Emily, and an Australian who calls herself Fat Amy. I found the name a bit juvenile like she didn’t want twig bitches to do it behind her back, but it was overall funny. I had to turn away from Ashley and Jessica cuddling and making out because while they were super cute, I couldn’t deal with anything that screamed, “GAY!” or, “ANYTHING OTHER THAN HETEROSEXUAL!”
I was so happy that I did because I looked back at Chloe as a tennis ball whizzed past my face after bouncing off the table. It disappeared over my shoulder and I looked around for the source. I finally landed eyes on a tennis racket held by none other than Sexual Confusion herself. She was smirking once again and bounced another ball with her free hand while teased me. I blushed uncontrollably and tried to avoid looking at her, but it was as if she willed me to face her. My eyes were glued to her, and she reveled in the feeling of my eyes wandering her body. She bounced the ball on the racket like it was the most natural thing ever, and wiggled her eyebrows in a sensual way. My eyes widened enough for her to stick out her tongue a little ways and curl it to be sexual. How would I survive the next nine months with this emotionally, mentally, and sexually confusing goddess teasing me?
Chapter 3
Summary:
Time Jump, and Gayness.
Chapter Text
“Maus! Wake up! Maus? Beca! Wake the hell up!” I vaguely heard a voice crawl into my head as I gradually awoke from sleep. I heard the voice say one more thing and I knew who it was. “Maus wake up before I push you out of bed!” Groggily, and thinking this was a dream, I rolled over and said, “No Kommissar! Just come back to bed, it’s too cold to be awake.” She apparently took me seriously as the next sounds I heard were zippers, then the bed collapsing next to me. It didn’t register in my mind that she was actually in my bed until she wrapped her arm around my waist, kissed my cheek, and then said, “If I warm you up, will you wake up then?” My eyes shot open with vigorous force as I turned over in Kommissar’s arms and saw Kommissar with an amused look on her face. “What the fuck are you doing here?” I hissed, lightly shoving her shoulder. She got closer to my face and whispered, “I wondered if you wanted to come on an adventure with me.” I was shocked by her proposition, and she continued, “Or if you want to stay here, we can create an adventure ourselves.” By this point, our bodies were nearly touching, one more move and we’d be against each other.
“No matter how many times I’ve thought about that, it’s not going to happen,” I said before I knew what I was saying. I remembered what I said, then cursed myself, “Fuck me.” The response I got was unexpected, but I actually considered it. “Alright, but you’d have to be my girlfriend first, ‘cause I don’t believe in one-night stands.” Her tone was serious, but I took it as another one of her antagonizing statements to fluster me. Little did I realize, she was holding one of my hands, and had already half-mounted me, holding my hand down onto the bed. She looked down at me with wondering eyes and cupped my cheek with her free hand before she pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. Her lips were as soft or possibly even softer than her hand, and I was gone with the smooth yet insistent undulations of her lips. My breathing became uneven when I felt her soft hair fall from her loose updo brush against my skin. Within seconds of her lips parting from mine, she was off the bed and putting her boots and jacket back on. “Are you coming Maus?” she asked me, sliding her arms into her winter jacket. I threw back the covers and hopped off the bed, being conscious of how much noise I was making.
If my host parents caught me sneaking out in the middle of the night, they would send me back for sure. And honestly, I didn’t want to go back because things had just started to get good, with the opportunity to go further with the goddess who has tormented me for months since I got here. I now realized how fucked up and twisted that relationship would be. If we were dating, would she stop trying to hit my in the face with tennis balls and block the tennis balls coming for me? Or would she just do it to get a reaction out of me? Whichever way it would go, I would be dating the most beautiful human being ever. I thought about that as I pulled on a pair of fairly warm skinny jeans up my legs, having to jump to get them on correctly. Kommissar was watching me and laughed when she saw me struggle with the zipper on my pants. She walked to me, which took like two steps, and removed my hands from the zipper before grabbing a firm hold of my waistband and quickly yanking the zipper upward. I felt I shouldn’t mention this because it was pretty obvious, but her hands were right near where I wanted them to be for the past month. One not-so-accidental step forward and she’d be circling my clit. I advised against it as she gave me an insinuating smirk like she was reading my mind, and reluctantly moved her hands.
I changed out of the pajama top I had on, and put on a flannel, hurriedly buttoning it up to prevent further exposure of myself to the person who is supposed to be my sworn enemy. I found my boots and jacket, putting them on, and told her, “Great. Now what?”
“Let’s go,” she responded, going over to the window. I wondered what the fuck she was doing until she opened the window by my desk and peeked out as if planning how she wanted to do this. I just stood there, awestruck, while she backed up a few feet and quietly hustled to the open window. Before I could say otherwise, she had jumped through the window feet first, and grabbed the side of the window, swinging to the wall for support. I stuck my head out the window to see what she was doing, and she slid down the wall she was holding on to. More like let go and landed on a small roof jutting out from the house. She was very stealthy with her movements to try not to wake up anyone. She jumped from the platform she was on and tucked and rolled into the snow-covered side lawn. She stood after rolling and looked back up to me imploringly.
“You coming Maus?” she whisper-yelled, cupping her hands around her mouth for volume. I glared at her like I was wondering how she hadn’t broken any bones, and she laughed under her breath. “It’s okay Maus. Just push off the edge and I’ll catch you.” My eyes went wide with the idea, and she made an X over her heart, saying, “Vhat is ze American saying? Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a pin in my eye? I promise I’ll catch you, you’re small enough to land right in my arms.” I heaved out a deep breath I didn’t know I was holding, and climbed on my desk, swinging my feet out the window. I sat on the window sill for what felt like forever before I clamped my mouth shut with my hand and pushed off. I closed my eyes as I fell, and when I opened them, I was met with Kommissar’s small smile and her arms around my waist. “I told you I would catch you.” I untangled myself from her and stood, helping her up. “Just so you know, the saying is ‘Stick a needle in my eye’ not a pin,” I pointed out as we began walking.
“I still caught you, didn’t I?” She questioned, throwing her arms up in mockery. I had to admire the little things she did that made her human, despite having ungodly beauty to counteract it all. I had no idea what I was doing with her right now while we walked down the sidewalk in the light snowfall. “So why did you get me out of bed at, like, two in the morning?” I requested, reaching the corner of the street we were on. “I wanted to show you something, and it simply couldn’t wait until the day,” she gave, turning to me and grabbing my hand. She pulled me toward the destination she so badly wanted to get to. We walked for a few more minutes, and when she finally let go of my hand, which I regretted letting go of, I stood in front of a fairly small playground. Complete with swings, slides, and a jungle gym, it looked like a child’s heaven to spend the afternoon at. I thought it was a bit childish for her to bring me here, but all I did was follow her to the swings. She sat on one of them and motioned for me to sit on the other one next to her. I sat on the swing, staring at her the whole time.
We lightly swung, hearing the chains creak with almost every swing. We sat in silence for a period of time before I inquired, “Why did you bring me here?” She breathed out thoughtfully, turned to me, and answered, “I used to come here as a child, but my parents didn’t allow me to come back here after I was 10.” Her voice had become disdainful toward the end of her sentence as if she was concealing a dark secret she desperately wanted to tell me. I swung to her and grabbed her hand, twining our fingers together. She met my easy gaze, and the smile she had just a few minutes ago bent downward into a slight frown. She looked to be pondering over what to say and how to say it because I could see the indecision dancing in her eyes. “You can tell me Kommissar. You may be my bully, but that doesn’t mean I won’t listen to you when you need it.” She looked away from me, breathed deeply, and told me, “First, stop calling me Kommissar. That’s just a nickname for me since everyone is scared of me. My real name is Luisa. So please, call me by that name, unless you can find a better nickname.”
“Alright, Luisa. I’ll start thinking of some names.” She gave a half-hearted laugh at hearing her real name spoken and sighed again. I saw a few tears run their way down her face, and I got up, still holding her hand. I stood in front of her and bent down (Wow I actually had to do that for once), cradling her cheek with my palm. I wiped away the few tears, and soothed, “Calm down, Luisa. It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me—” She kissed me for a few seconds, her free hand reciprocating my delicate touch on my cheek. She pulled away, pressed her forehead to mine, looked at me for a long while, then explained, “My parents never let me back here because 7 years ago, when I was 10, I was abducted by a child predator.”
“Wh-What?” was all I could say, stunned by the news Luisa just told me. “Yes, Beca. I was just playing in this park when I was abducted. I didn’t see my family for another week after that, and that was when I found out why I was kidnapped. Apparently, the man that took me was a strong believer in Hitler and wanted to repopulate the Aryan race. When he didn’t find any women with blonde hair and blue eyes, he saw me playing and well, you know.” I knelt down in front of Luisa and kissed her again before I permitted her to continue. She was falling apart in front of me, and I wanted so badly to keep her from doing just that. “He never really did anything, besides dressing me up in a traditional Nazi uniform where he clearly saw me naked, but I felt just as violated. I never truly understood what was happening until a few years later. Once I did though, I was never the same. I shut most people out, I became a bully, and I earned the title Kommissar. I’ve only told one other person, which is Pieter, but other than him, you’re the only person I’ve told.” She held onto my face with both of her hands as she calmed down enough to pull herself together. I thought a long time over what she said about me being the only other person she’s told. How much must I mean to her if she’s willing to tell me her darkest secret in her life?
Suddenly, she pulled me into a hug, smushing my face into her chest. I could hear her heartbeat pound against my face, and I hugged her back around her waist, nuzzling my face further into her. She pulled away after a while but didn’t let go of me. She looked down at me with a different look in her eyes. It was one I’ve never seen in anyone’s eyes before, and while the cold was biting at my exposed body parts, a warm feeling made itself known in my chest. I didn’t know what this feeling was, but I’ve never felt anything this strong in my life. All I knew was that Luisa and I would be connected with each other for the rest of our lives, no matter how. She stood up, and I stood up with her as she playfully suggested, “Let’s play!” Before I knew what was happening, she pushed me on the shoulder and ran to the slides, saying, “You’re it!” I ran after her, giggling like a child, and slid down the slide she just went down. She had been halfway across the whole park by the time I got off the slide. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to run after her, so I needed to outsmart her.
I pretended to run after her so she would run away, but then I hid in one of the small tunnels that connected the two slides. I waited for a few minutes as Luisa realized I wasn’t chasing her anymore. She walked back to the slides, where I was waiting to sneak attack her, and she stopped in front of the tunnel I was in. “Maus? Where, oh, where did you scurry to?” she teased, not noticing me through the holes in the side of the tunnel. I crept to where she was standing, and stuck my hand through the hole, hitting her on the side of the face. I shouted, “You’re it!” and quickly got out of the tunnel, running for my life. She turned around and jogged to me because her jogging pace was me sprinting. Damn long legs. It didn’t take her any time at all to catch me, grab me by my waist, and pull me back into her. Unfortunately, she tripped on my legs, and we were sent into the snow. She landed on top of me, and me being so out of breath, she laughed at the coincidence. I don’t think I’ve ever heard such a wonderful sound in my life, but in a second, she kissed the tip of my nose and got up, pulling me up with her. “You win. Your legs are too long for me to catch up with,” I admitted, sitting on the swings.
Luisa came in front of me, and pushed on my knees, sending me backward. I swung forward, only to be pushed back again by Luisa. She continued to push me while we talked about various things in life: school, family, ourselves. Eventually, the question finally came to me that was almost burning a hole in the back of my mind. “Why tell me?” Luisa was inherently caught off guard by the question and missed the next push she was supposed to give. I swung myself, pushing and pulling my legs with the momentum of the swing. She stared at me intently before she said, “Because I trust you.” I stopped pushing myself and let myself ride the momentum I had already built up before I got up and hugged Luisa tightly. We let go of each other after a few deep breaths but held each other’s hand on the way back to my house. I looked up to my window, which was about 20 feet off the ground, and wondered how I was going to get up there. Luisa simply explained, “I’m going to climb up onto that little platform, pull you up, then hoist you through your window. Simple and easy.”
“Dude, what?!” I yelled as she ran up to the building, got a foothold on the vinyl siding, and ran up the wall partially before pushing off and grabbing onto the edge of the platform. She pulled herself up, stood up, then offered her hand for me to get up. I took it, and within ten seconds, I was standing next to her. I thank God that I left my window open slightly or else I would never have made it in there when Luisa lifted me up to there. I squirmed into the window, landing on my desk. I looked back out the window to see Luisa jump down from the platform she was on, doing a front flip mid-air, and landing like she was a superhero. To me, she was the greatest superhero to live for she swept me off my feet in a few words, and maybe kisses. She turned back to me, smirking, and I whisper-yelled, “See you at school . . . Moose.”
“That’s my nickname?”
“You call me Maus because I’m tiny, and since you’re so big, you’re Moose.”
“Fair enough. See you at school, Maus.” She winked at me before walking into the snowy night.
Chapter Text
I love Luisa. I’m in love with Luisa. There’s no other way to describe it. The feeling I felt as we kissed last night was love. For Luisa. No wonder I felt so weird holding her hand on our way home last night. I think my mind knew I was in love with Luisa since I saw her that first day of school. Only the realization just hit me smack dab in the face, or in heart, this morning. I woke up and half expected Luisa to be next to me. When she wasn’t there, I knew I fell. All I had on my mind was Luisa. What she looked like, what she was like around me, and what she thought of the many kisses we shared last night. No doubt she was kissing me on impulse, but what explains the voluntary hand holding? Friendship, I guess. We were officially friends, but I have no second guesses that she won’t stop teasing me, whether it be for my height or the way I get flustered and sexually confused by her. Speaking of which, what am I now? Am I gay? I can’t be because I still have some attraction for guys. Maybe I’m just gay for her? Whatever the case may be, I need to tell Luisa that I love her before the school year is over or else I may never get the chance.
Given new motivation, I sprang from my bed and got ready for school quickly, ignoring Chloe’s calls for a conversation. I dressed in an unbuttoned flannel, camisole, and skinny jeans. My winter coat and boots were a must, as the sidewalks were covered in snow. The end of December and the snowstorms were in their abundance. While it was entirely cold outside, my thoughts were all sorts of heat, all about Luisa, and half dirty. The other half were actually sappy, and I don’t think I’ve ever considered anything past girlfriend basis, but with Luisa, I’ve been able to imagine our wedding, and hell, even kids. I thought over what she would be wearing today, and if she would openly acknowledge our friendship when I walked into the kitchen where Chloe’s mother was making a simple breakfast for us all: bagels and cream cheese. I walked to the other side of the corner of the counter she was standing at, and greeted, “Hey Mom.” Calling her Mom had almost become second nature I did it so often. “Hey, Beca. How are you this morning?” she replied, looking at me.
“I’m fantastic. How are you?”
“I’m great, thanks for asking. So what has you so giddy?”
“Oh, nothing.”
“So this has nothing to do with the girl you sneaked out with last night?” Her observation took me by surprise as I thought me and Luisa were alone. “What? I didn’t sneak out with Moose.” She gave me a knowing look, and I just gave into her motherly charm. She saw my willing face and began to pry. “What’s her name?”
“Ugh, fine. It’s Luisa.”
“Is she in any of your classes?”
“Only my History, Gym, and Music class. Other than that, I barely see her throughout the rest of the day.” I grabbed one of the bagels she had spread with cream cheese and bit into it. My host mother reminded me a lot of Fat Amy with how she seemed to know everything. “So?”
“So what?”
“Is she your girlfriend? ‘Cause I’m totally fine with that.” Thinking she couldn’t hear me, I whispered, “I wish she was,” but then said out loud, “No, she’s not.”
“Oooh. Beca has a cru-ush! Beca has a cru-ush!” She teased me like we were kindergarteners.
“No, I don’t I have a ‘crush’. We’re just friends, and she’s technically my bully.”
“The one you’ve talked about for months on end?”
“Yes. That’s the one, and I love her,” I admitted too quickly. “Why can’t I control myself?”
“Because you’re in love! I know I couldn’t control myself when I fell in love with Chloe’s father. A year after we got married, Chloe was born. Might I say though, I knew I made a mistake that day, but I never thought I would be receiving that mistake nine months later.” Things just got really awkward, and all I could do was stand there in silence, eyes wide with shock, and a half-eaten bagel in my hand. Luckily, Chloe came in almost immediately after her mother stated Chloe was a mistake in a fairly long-winded way and stole me away from the conversation to go to school. It wasn’t until we were halfway to school that she began her interrogation.
“Who were you sneaking out with last night?” she asked, having clearly not heard the conversation I had with her mother.
“Oh no one. I was just talking to myself.”
“Yeah right, Beca. So who is it?”
“You’re honestly going to hate me if I tell you.”
“No I won’t, Beca. Just tell me.”
“Kommissar.”
“What the fuck?!” she yelled, and stopped walking to emphasize her point. The name obviously upset her, as she looked at me like I had betrayed her.
“What’s the problem?”
“Kommissar? As in, your worst enemy Kommissar?”
“Yeah so?”
“Aren’t you afraid she’s going to hurt you?”
“If she was going to hurt me, she would’ve done it months ago Chlo!” I spun around to her because she was starting to get on my nerves, and I couldn’t stand it. She looked triggered, but I didn’t care. I just kept spouting out angry sentences, “Why does it matter to you?! You don’t seem to take any interest in her, so just butt out!”
“Why do you care about her so much then?” I couldn’t control what happened next, but I knew it was inevitable. “Because I love her Chloe! While I hate to admit it out loud, I do love her, and I don’t care what you think!” I then angrily stormed off to school in a fit of rage and angst to see Luisa. I didn’t stop until I was in front of my locker. I slammed my bag down onto the ground, and knelt in front of my locker, pressing my forehead to the cool metal. I got all my stuff I would need for the first few periods out, and rearranged everything else. I had History first, and I at least looked forward to seeing Luisa even if she didn’t recognize our friendship publicly. I was still pretty pissed off at Chloe when I heard Luisa ask from behind me, “How are you today Maus?”
“Oh, bite me!” I shouted, rage coming through in my voice.
“Where?” she asked so nonchalantly I damn near died. I gasped audibly, and Luisa seemed to have noticed because she was laughing when I turned around. She was once again wearing her leather jacket and had her helmet beneath her arm, only this time there was paint on the back of the helmet which read, “Moose” in cute cursive letters. I giggled when I saw the nickname, knowing she did that because of me. The idea made my heart flutter as it was one indication I got that I really meant something to her. I didn’t realize how much I was blocking her until she said with a laugh, “Do I need to pick you up again and move you out of the way in order for me to get to my locker?” I would like to note here that I suck at flirting and I’m not at all subtle about it. So, behold my failed attempt at flirting with Luisa: “All you have to do is kiss me, and I’ll melt out of the way.” Luisa, still thinking I was serious, looked around to make sure no one was watching then angled my head toward hers with her hand on my cheek and kissed me passionately. I was taken by surprise with the kiss, and unknowingly returned the kiss, standing on the tips of my toes. I clutched my books to my chest while Luisa held the kiss as long as it took me to nearly fall. When she realized I wasn’t backing down, she broke the kiss, and kissed me again, this time shoving her tongue in my mouth. I felt her tongue invade the sanctity of my mouth, and I crumbled beneath her careful ministrations. I rocked back on my heels as I pulled away, covering my mouth with my hand to show my astonishment, but to also hide my blush from Luisa. I stepped out of her way, and told her, “You win, Moose.” She opened her locker, smirked back at me, and collected her books from her locker. “You might want to get to class Maus, because I still have a reputation to keep up,” she told me, snagging onto my collar with one hand like she wanted to push me against a locker and break my arm. She had actually pulled me a bit off the ground, but my toes were still touching the ground so I wasn’t completely being choked.
The small scene attracted some attention, which I’m sure Luisa was planning to do to have some credibility. I still held onto my books and watched as Luisa played her part as the big bad ruler of this high school. Her face contorted into a grimace fit for Kommissar, and she yelled pretty loudly, “Move the hell out of my way! I should’ve eaten you when I had the chance! Tiny Maus!” I blushed, but honestly looked terrified with the look I was giving her. I think my reaction was enough for her to keep her reputation, so she kind threw me to the side. I landed on my feet, but then tripped over them, hurling my books around me. I watched her walk away with that damned smirk I could kiss away at the moment, but I needed to focus on getting my books. I just organized my History textbook into my arms when I stood up and met Chloe’s sharp gaze. She seemed to be telling me, “What did I tell you? She’s nothing but a cold-hearted bitch!” all through her eyes. I glared back at her, seemingly coming back, “Well, she’s my cold-hearted bitch!”. Like she had gotten my message, Chloe scoffed and headed down the hallway to her first class. After she was gone, I trudged down the stairs, still way too mad at Chloe to be sane.
I walked into my history class, took my seat next to Luisa, and immediately groaned into my hands. God, why was Chloe so hard to deal with? I did nothing to her, yet she’s acting like I slept with her boyfriend or something. I was distracted from my thoughts by a soft and warm palm resting on my thigh. I looked down to see Luisa, genuinely concerned, and she asked, “What’s wrong, Maus?” I glanced into her eyes, and I nearly began crying. I covered Luisa’s hand with mine, and explained, “Red is pissed at me for something I couldn’t control.” I could tell I intrigued Luisa with my fairly vague explanation by the quizzical expression, and she beat me to my explanation with, “What do you mean?” I opened my mouth to speak, only getting out, “Luisa, I—”, before the bell rang and Mr. Schneider started class. Luisa lightly patted my leg before picking up her pencil, which I assumed was a distraction to talk to me, and sat back down in her seat.
The next time I was able to talk to her was during Gym, which I found out is called Physical Education in Europe, as they prefer to use the term the U.S. doesn’t. We were forced to wear these awful uniforms that consisted of knee-length navy blue shorts with the school symbol screen-printed onto one of the pant legs and a light blue shirt with the school district’s name written across the chest. It was honestly the sexiest thing I’ve ever worn, and I wish I had another pair for pajamas . . . Psyche! These are the ugliest things I’ve ever seen and they make me look like a prepubescent little boy. They didn’t have any in extra small because everyone at this school is humongous and I’m the tiniest fucking person they’ve seen. So I’m left with a baggy medium that Chloe would wear. Now, I’m doing a stupid push-up test to see how much upper body strength I had. The moderator was pre-recorded, and his voice was so dull I would’ve died if I had to listen to it anymore. I was on my fourteenth push-up when I just let go and hit the floor with a thump. I caught my breath and looked around to see if anyone was still going. “Down . . . Up, 146. Down . . . Up, 147,” the recording droned on, indicating the number of push-ups done. Out of the corner of my eye, I found one person still doing push-ups like it was the easiest thing in the world: Luisa.
“Meyer! Stop at 175! You’ve already broken all the records!” the teacher shouted, watching Luisa continue to do push-ups. She looked up at him, but kept doing push-ups, and in between push-ups, she said, “Awww. C’mon. I can make it to 200! Please?” The teacher saw her determination, and gave in, “Fine. 200, but that’s it.” She finished her 200th push-up and stood up immediately, barely out of breath and barely sweating. Her forehead, face and upper chest glistened in the fluorescent lighting, and I was stuck to my space until she told me, “You’re staring, Maus.” I refocused on our task at hand, which was free play. I went to the closet looking for a frisbee since Amy didn’t want to do anything with cardio, and I realized they were on the top shelf. I tried jumping for it, but I was still too small. Luisa eventually came in, saw me struggling, and grabbed a soccer ball before asking, “Do you need me to get it for you?” I gasped, turned around, and yelled, “HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE VERTICALLY CHALLENGED!” She saw me provoked, and laughed, “Okay, then.” She began to walk out of the closet when I sighed in defeat and requested, “Help meeeeee.” I carried out the last syllable like I was whining, and hung my head. Luisa turned around immediately, and came up behind me.
“Hold my ball please,” she commanded, shoving the ball in her hand into my stomach. I reflexively backed up, but I backed into her and collided with her front. She put her hands on my hips, and pushed me forward so she could get the frisbee I wanted. She grabbed it without having to do anything but reach, and took her ball. She handed me the frisbee with a kiss on my cheek, explaining, “All you have to do is tell me, Maus.” She left, and I thought for just a second that maybe she knew something I wanted to tell her, but decided against it because I had barely spoken a word to her. I guess I’ll find out later, if there is a later.
Notes:
Excuse the small reference to Dear Evan Hansen. For those of you who get it:
*Applause and Bows*
Sincerely Me.
Chapter 5
Summary:
Really oblivious Beca.
Notes:
I'm just being mean with Beca's inability to recognize flirting and when someone tries to tell her, "I love you."
Chapter Text
“I’m going to tell her today. I’m going to tell her today. I’m going to tell her today,” I repeated to myself in the mirror, trying to gain some courage. I was ready to open my heart to her, though I almost knew for certain that she would shoot me down. It was worth a try, wasn’t it? Even if I didn’t see her at all after this year, I could at least let her know that I’ve loved her all this time and secretly wished we were something more that could continue until we were both out of college and could work something out. I mean seriously, how hard would it be to maintain a long distance relationship? I would sacrifice so much to keep the relationship, for her. Damn, what is she doing to me? I’ve never been willing to do anything for anyone else, but she suddenly comes along, and I’m wanting to give everything up just for the chance to hear her say, “I love you.” I’m such a sap, now. All because of her. I don’t even care if she tortures me for the rest of the year to keep up her reputation, as long as I know she loves me, then it’s all worth it. I must have been saying most of this out loud to myself because Chloe’s mother was at my door and she just, “Awwwww! Beca! I hope she loves you too!”
“Mom! How many times have I told you! If I’m talking to myself, please don’t eavesdrop!” I whined but still sounded elated because of my thoughts. I walked to the open door, and she hugged me tightly, suffocating me with her arms. She let go once she recognized my lack of breathing, and beamed with joy. It kind of scared me how happy she could be. “I’m only in love, I’m not getting married, Mom.” All she did was smile more and go downstairs to finish getting ready for work. I followed her and waited for Chloe so we could head to school. I’m still a bit mad at her, despite her apologizing for the way she acted, but that didn’t excuse her for getting mad at me for being in love with Luisa. I mean, I could’ve told her in a more subtle fashion, but like, it’s either I say it explicitly or I don’t say anything at all. It’s just how I work. Chloe just walked in, and she called me, “Becs! C’mon, let’s go. If you want to tell her, you need to get in gear.”
The entire way to school we talked about the whole situation with Luisa, and I explained our relationship at the moment to her. As far as I knew, we were close friends with some benefits. The number of times we kissed and it didn’t affect our secret friendship was enough to earn the ‘some benefits’ part. While I loved the idea of being friends with full benefits, I didn’t think my heart was in for temporary bliss, so I never pushed past kisses and the occasional make out. Chloe seemed to understand my situation because she once had a friends with benefits relationship with someone before. The only thing she didn’t understand was my actual feelings for Luisa. All Chloe ever saw was Kommissar, and while it wasn’t right, she judged her based on that. Chloe trusted my word that Luisa was sweeter and much kinder than Kommissar. I just hoped no one was watching so I could talk to Luisa. I told Chloe I’d see her at lunch, then went to my locker. I hurriedly put my bag away, and gathered my books before closing and locking my locker. I didn’t get the chance to stand up before I heard someone behind me yell, “Is this the Tiny Maus you were telling me about?” I stood and turned around to see a guy with a ton of guyliner on, and Luisa. She shook her head and laughed before she whispered to me, “Sorry about what’s going to happen.” Her comrade didn’t hear her, which I think her intention was, and he continued, “Why is she staring at you so much?”
Luisa quickly adopted the Kommissar persona and answered his question, “Perhaps she is, what do the American kids say, jelly?” I blankly gaped at her, and I mustered out, “I am so not jelly.” She smirked at me, turned to her partner, and he said, “Of course you’re not jelly, you’re jealous, but with your American mannerisms, you shorten it to jelly.” Kommissar’s expression became more annoyed as he continued making a buffoon of himself in front of me. Even I was confused at what he was saying, but I did my best to ignore what he did. “Take my advice Maus, stay out of my way, and I won’t step on your little tail.” Other people in the hallway took notice of the situation before them and alerted friends to pay attention. I felt all the heat from the hall rush to my face as I became deep scarlet with embarrassment and adoration. I lost my sense of breathing and began panting at the thoughts running through my mind. One being her hands crawling up my body as she whispered dirty things in German and left hickeys all along my neck, coating one side of my neck in red lipstick.
I couldn’t think of anything to say, so she just went on, “Unless, of course, you prefer to be crushed.” She had taken the smallest step toward me, and I backed into the lockers as she laughed. “I would love to be crushed by your flawless body,” I blurted out, continuing, “Damn it! I mean . . . fuck me!” I seriously couldn’t formulate anything to insult her, and I just continued to respond with the first thing that came to mind. “If I were to, you’d need to seek medical attention, and quite frankly, I think I’d love to see that,” Kommissar taunted, taking another step closer to me. My heart was pounding its way out of my chest, and my grip gave away, dropping my books all around us. I had to fight the urge to grab her jacket viciously and kiss her, but honestly, that’s all I was focused on. Our proximity all the while was making accomplishing this a whole lot more difficult. She fiercely pushed her hand against the lockers next to my head, leaned over, and told me, “I got it. I’ll mail you. Large envelope costs nothing.” This was when Guyliner jumped back in with, “Well, it wouldn’t cost nothing, but still cheaper than shipping like a horse, or maybe an adult moose.” Kommissar turned her head and gave him another disappointed look before she looked back to me. “Your sweat smells like cinnamon,” I commented, catching her scent as she moved her head. “I’m sorry, I don’t speak loser, what did you say?” she questioned, placing her other hand on the other side of my head after she handed her helmet to Guyliner.
Our foreheads almost touched and I was going insane with every move she made to get closer to me. In my head, I could hear the other people around us chanting, “Fight! Fight! Fight!” though no one besides me and Kommissar was saying anything. “I . . . I . . . I . . . “ I trailed off, losing my breath with every movement either one of us made. “You . . . You . . . You, what? Let me see if I can help you remember what you’re going to say.” Before I knew what was happening, she had taken hold of my shirt collar and lifted me up against the lockers, pinning me there with her hips. She found her way between my legs which gave her an advantage over me as I have been dying to find her there for months. I fell silent, and she carefully brushed her lips over my cheek, knowing it’d get me more flustered than I already was. I was hanging on desperately to the shoulders of her jacket to ground myself in the moment and not get shot to another world with the way her hips were slowly and intentionally grinding against mine. She whispered in my ear, “You want me against you, just like this. I want the same thing. Text me later.” I felt a small slip of paper drop into my bra, then Kommissar backed away, smirking.
I was surprised I could still stand after what she just did, and I just stood there, open-mouthed, and wide-eyed. It finally hit me that my books were all over the ground, and I found them to be a godsend for distraction because I felt so much heat. Heat in my face, heat in my chest, heat in my core. I was almost burning alive in front of everyone. I didn’t want to be seen in such a state, so I quickly picked up my books with the help of Chloe, and I stared at Kommissar for a few seconds before I walked away fairly quickly. I barely saw the stunned looks on everyone else’s face as I dashed from the scene. Kommissar knew what she did to me, and deep down I wanted her to do it to me. I’ve craved this feeling from her, and now I have it, I don’t want to get rid of it. The ‘it’ I’m describing is turning me on. Kommissar just turned me on in front of literally everyone, though she was still bullying me to do so. According to Chloe, Amy, Jessica, and Ashley, everyone saw that as an act of brute force against me. If that was an act of brute force, then boy am I getting into some freaky shit.
At lunch, I remembered there was a slip of paper in my bra, so I fished it out. Amy caught me in the act and asked, “Did you drop a gummy worm in there or something?” I glared at her before continuing to look for the paper Luisa dropped in there earlier. I found the paper, pulled it out, and saw that it had Luisa’s phone number and address written on it. I typed in her phone number into a new contact then pocketed her address. I quickly sent her a text to let her know I got her number and address, and I saw her respond out of the corner of my eye.
Like I said Maus, I’m sorry that had to happen. Being me has certain expectations.
It’s fine, Luisa. I understand. To be honest, I really enjoyed what you did.
I can tell. I felt you throb against me.
Throb? Is that how you describe it?
I would say I thoroughly turned you on, yes.
Damn, I was hoping you didn’t know that. But now I think you did it on purpose.
Can never get past you. Meet me in the bathroom in 5?
You got it, Moose ; )
I looked over to Luisa who was smirking at me and wiggled my eyebrows very sensually, Chloe taking notice. “Damn, Beca. Keep it in your pants, maybe,” Chloe reprimanded, slapping my hand. “What? She’s hot. And I got to go,” I responded, rising from my seat. “Wait! Where are you going?” Chloe asked. I knew she knew what was going on when she saw Luisa follow me, so she let the matter be. I allowed Luisa to take one step inside the door before I slammed it and pushed her back against it, and attacked her lips with mine. She quickly returned the attack but turned me around, so now I was the one pressed against the door. She clutched the collar of my shirt and pulled me up the door so she didn’t have to lean down. Me being as sneaky as I am, I managed to part her legs and slide my thigh in between, adding pressure to the area. She groaned lightly at my action, pressing further into me, and moved her kisses to my neck. “Payback,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around her neck. “Not for long Maus,” she promised, grabbing hold of my waist. She nudged her thumbs into my core, making me gasp, and she moved back to my lips.
We stopped when we were out of breath, not quite going all the way, but getting pretty high. “Luisa, I need to tell you something,” I told her, snuggled against her chest. We were sitting in the bathroom after we locked it, and she situated me on her lap. “I need to tell you something too, Maus. This isn’t easy for me to say, but I lo—” At that moment, Luisa’s phone started to ring. I didn’t know what she was about to say, but I really wanted to know. She spoke in German as if I wouldn’t be able to understand her, but she was speaking rapidly and angrily like she was upset with the person on the line. I didn’t know who she was talking to, even after she screamed, “Pieter!” before hanging up. She got up with me in her arms, hugged and kissed me once. She said to me, “See you later Maus, but I got to go because Pieter decided to get into a fight and needs my help.” I understood her situation, but I desperately wanted to know what she was going to say.
“I lo—,” I repeated to myself, not knowing what she could’ve possibly said.
Chapter Text
I couldn’t breathe. My lungs were on fire. Every sharp inhale I took, an even sharper exhale awaited me. Exhale shouldn’t be the word I use, as it was more like pleasure-filled screaming. Screaming which was induced by the thrusting of Luisa’s fingers inside me. She was three fingers deep and pressing her thumb hard against my clit. I moved against her in time with her thrusts, which created more friction between us two. My back was to her front, and her arm was wrapped around my waist but came down to touch me in the place I wanted it most. We laid on her bed, all silk sheets and ecstasy. Her other arm wrapped around my chest, and her hand was at my throat, pushing my head back onto the bed. She kissed, bit, and sucked at my exposed neck while she allowed her hand to crawl around my upper body without hesitation. What kept me from getting away from her was her extremely long leg around one of mine, holding my hips to hers as I reflexively ground against her. Her other leg found its way between mine, and she used her thigh to push herself deeper into me, the rhythmic pumps driving me insane.
I could every one of her muscles tense when I moved this way or that, but no matter where I was, it was all solid muscle and slick skin. We had been at this for hours now, changing position every time one of us came. This was position number four at just past midnight. I didn’t think we were ever going to sleep that night. Not with the way I was losing my mind right now. Luisa had increased her speed, and arched into me, putting more pressure on my already pulsating clit. I screamed out, pleasure resonating through my body. I wanted to see what Luisa was doing, but her hand at my throat kept my head locked back. I got the idea, and her hand slid down the column of my throat, holding onto one of my tits. I held her head to my neck with one hand behind her head while my other one was balled into a fist in my hair, occasionally pulling at my own hair. I bit my lower lip to suppress a loud moan from escaping, and Luisa bit my neck hard for that. I immediately released my lip, and groaned out, “Luisa!” Luisa heard me and moved the hand that was currently caressing my chest to the hand in my hair. She grabbed my wrist and tore my hand from my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She held my arm to the bed, her hand gripping my wrist so tightly I eventually got bruises.
She could feel me tense up around her, could feel my lungs fill and empty at rapid paces, and could feel the whimpers in my throat as she ravaged it. I think she decided that it was time for me to come because she huskily demanded, “Vhat’s my name?” Her German accent was rough, and her ministrations became rougher as she got what she asked for. “Luisa!” I shrieked, the first orgasm shooting through my body. She got closer to my ear, and demanded again, “Vhat’s my name?!” The question was too much to understand, but I knew what she wanted. “Luisa!” I screeched louder than the last, another orgasm stabbing through me. Finally, she released my hand that she was holding down and readjusted herself on top of me, slick front to slick fucking front. She was still going hard and fast into me when she looked me directly in the face. My eyes, which were essentially stapled shut the whole time, were still closed as tightly as possible. Luisa lowered her face close to mine, and demanded, “Look at me! Vhat’s my name?!” My eyes flew open as I began to roar, “Lui—” before getting cut off by Luisa’s lips crashing into mine, and my final orgasm burning its way through my body.
I pulled away from the kiss and suddenly I was in my room. Luisa was still on top of me, but not naked. Actually she was fully clothed, but still on top of me. Her eyes were dark with desire as they wandered my face when I let out another quiet whimper. It was then that I realized what had happened. I had a dream about Luisa that was rather explicit, and she apparently saw me experience some of that since she was on top of me and stopped me from yelling out loud. I felt my cheeks turn red and Luisa just kissed me softly, trailing down to my neck. She pulled back and told me, “It’s alright Maus. I’m here now.” I moved my body to be more comfortable under her hovering body, and I felt my hand inside of me. I had realistically touched myself while thinking, No! dreaming, of Luisa doing all of that. My eyes became impossibly wider as I looked down at my wet hand that I pulled out from under my blanket. Luisa seemed to know what I had done based off of my hand covered in my fluids because she taunted, “Doing this without me, Maus?”
“Trust me, you were involved.” She smirked at me, knowing how she had been, and I choked on the next breath I took in at the thought of her knowing I fantasized about her regularly. Sure, I’ve never taken it to the step of actually pleasuring myself like I had just done, but the thoughts were enough. “What do I do now?” I asked since I really had no idea what to do after this. Clean myself up, maybe? But how? It’d be really weird to take a shower this late at night. My question was answered when Luisa said, “I’ll show you.” She proceeded to take my three fingers in her mouth, sucking on them while she stared at me lovingly. My fingers were clean, but my you know wasn’t. “What do I do about that now?” I questioned, motioning toward my vagina. Luisa’s eyes grew even darker as she explained, “I’ll show you.” I saw her push my blanket down my body, slowly revealing the rest of my body. I had some clothes on, but that was only a shirt, a bra, and boxers.
Luisa got the blanket down to my knees and stopped. I shivered a bit from the cold January air that managed to slip in from Luisa’s arrival point. Luisa placed her warm palms on my thighs, her head dangerously close. “Now let’s get you cleaned up, Maus,” was all she said before my boxers were slid down my legs and her tongue was exploring my wet pussy. I gathered the sheets in my fists and tried my best to keep my composure as I was licked clean by the woman of my (wet) dreams. She finished, casually wiping her face, and licked her lips before kissing me. “I knew I should’ve eaten you earlier, you’re delicious,” she whispered, laying down on me, and cupped my face with her palms. I held onto her hips as we kept lip locking, not caring about what just happened. Our kisses deepened, and I wrapped my arms around Luisa’s waist, pulling her closer. My hands slipped under her shirt and ventured around her back. Not breaking away but for a second, Luisa stripped off her shirt and allowed me to discover her soft curves and hard muscles. I flipped us onto her back, straddled her waist, and kissed my way down her neck. She gripped my hips, pulled my shirt up slightly, and when I kissed her collarbone, I approved, “Yes, Moose. You may take my shirt off.” It was off less than a second later, and our bodies were pressed together soon afterward. Her skin was warm and smooth, and I couldn’t help but run my hand everywhere I could see. Her arms held me to her as we kissing deeply and lovingly. She turned us over onto my back, and I heard footsteps coming toward my door.
I panicked, and quickly told Luisa, “Hide. Now.” She kissed me one more time, then complied, pulling the blanket over her head. She attempted to lay still as Chloe barged in, a questioning look on her face. She quietly closed the door, standing in front of me. I was in a reclining position, lying on my side and propping my head up on my hand. I gave her a small grin while she started to speak. “What are you doing?”
“Oh nothing, just sleeping.”
“Really? It doesn’t sound like you’re sleeping. What is that wet spot anyway?” She noticed the wet spot on the bed and on my boxers, and I couldn’t hide that anymore.
“Before you jump to conclusions, I didn’t wet the bed like a toddler.”
“Then what the hell is it? I swear if you were just having sex, I will be done with you.”
“No, Chlo. I wasn’t having sex with anyone, besides maybe myself, but let’s just say dreams of Luisa got pretty graphic and I was doing what I dreamt of.”
“Okay. One, TMI. Two, gross. I know you love her and all, but that’s taking it a bit too far.” At that moment, the blankets behind me rustled with a small chuckle, and Chloe noticed. “What was that?” Chloe asked, kind of freaked out at the movement. “Damn it, Luisa!” I giggled as Luisa pushed back the blanket and sat up. Chloe’s jaw dropped at the sight of Luisa half naked, and her hair down around her shoulders. Luisa and I laughed at the situation for a bit, until Chloe interjected, “You told me you didn’t have sex!”
“And I didn’t Chloe. Like I said, Luisa just so happened to be watching me while I slept and had that dream that I hope comes true in the near future.” Chloe hit her forehead with her palm, and huffed out, “Once again Bec. Did NOT need to know that. And now that I know much more than I wanted to, I’m going back to bed. You can continue or go, either way, don’t make too much noise or I’ll kill you for ruining my beauty sleep.” Chloe walked out the door, trying to remove the mental image of me and Luisa going at it when she’s just two doors down. I turned to Luisa, and we both burst out laughing but keeping our volume down as to not disturb anyone else. “So where are we going tonight?” I asked, getting off the bed and walking to my closet to get fresh clothes. I changed my boxers because I soiled my other ones, and got dressed in some warm clothes. It was the beginning of January, and it was fairly cold in Germany. Luisa put her shirt back on, followed by her winter gear, and waited for me to finish. I zipped up my jacket and we exited like we had before, only this time Luisa didn’t fall when she caught me. We walked hand in hand for some time, speaking becoming unnecessary for us to function with the other. I glanced at Luisa a few times and saw she was fairly deep in thought like she was gathering the courage to say something important to me.
We rounded a street corner and in the distance, there were other teens huddled in a circle, none of whom I knew, and we slowed to a stop about 20 feet from them. Luisa faced me, cradled my cheeks with her palms, kissed me, and admitted, “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for months. Every time I try to tell you, I get interrupted by someone or something, but now that we’re somewhat alone, I wanted to tell you. Beca, I—Jesus Christ Pieter!” Guyliner came up next to her and had thrown his arm over her shoulder, completely ruining the moment Luisa and I had. She snarled at him, but kissed my forehead and dragged me with her as she followed Pieter. We met up with various other students, all of which had blonde or dark hair and were taller than me. One caught a look at me and asked, “Who is she?” Luisa grabbed my hand and pulled me toward her, wrapping her arms around my waist as my back hit her front. “She’s mine. And if any of you have a problem, you can find a new leader,” she explained, kissing my cheek. She hugged me tighter, claiming me as hers, and I leaned into her.
I didn’t pay attention to much after that, the shock of knowing Luisa thought of me as hers was enough to distract me from the dastardly deeds this group was doing. They called themselves, “DSM,” though I didn’t know what it stood for, and they had a plan to prank someone in the neighborhood. I had no idea who they were pranking, but it seemed pretty funny, as it was an American classic. They were TP-ing someone’s house. I nearly died of laughter when Luisa told me what they were doing, but she shushed me with her hand over my mouth before they started. Everyone else in DSM seemed to be criticizing me and Luisa for our blatant affection, but they let it go when Luisa glared at them with icy blue eyes. I covered my mouth with my hand to cover a smile over the situation because I found it funny that she didn’t take lightly to criticism. They started to throw the rolls of toilet paper over the house, and I just watched off to the side, not wanting to interfere with their plans. Eventually, Luisa walked to me, and handed me a roll, saying, “I dare you to throw this.” I looked at her with skepticism because I have never been good at throwing things. “You do know this is a huge waste of toiletries, right?” I stated, squinting my eyes.
“It’s still funny, no?”
“You got me there, Moose.” She led me to a good position in front of the house and I threw the object as hard as I could. Unfortunately, it didn’t go over the house. I accidentally threw it into an open window on the second story, and when we all heard a muffled groan, we looked at each other in surprise. A lamp turned on, and we all freaked out. “ Scheiße! Lauf!” Luisa screamed, grabbing my hand and pulling me away as she ran. She noticed I couldn’t run as fast, so she told me, “Jump on my back Maus!” I jumped on, and she ran as fast she could, the rest of the group not far behind. We ran for a couple of blocks to escape the disgruntled resident, and we came to stop in front of the park. Luisa set me down, and sat on one of the swings. She was breathing heavily, but she wasn’t out of breathe. I sat down next to her, and we laughed for a few minutes, recounting what happened.
After we had our fill, we admired each other for some time, our fingers intertwining and us slowly swinging toward the other. Our lips met gently, the softness of her lips carrying me away to a paradise where only the love is present, and our tongues flirted with each other’s unlike we typically do, which is awkward and somewhat violent. This was different. We took our time to fully understand the depths of each other’s affections, even if I still haven’t told Luisa I love her, and if she doesn’t love me back. I don’t care anymore. I just want to savour the moments I have left with her. I have four more months until I fly back to the U.S. for my official graduation, though I technically graduate here since their year is slightly shorter than ours. Anyway, we pulled away just enough for our lips to still brush against each other’s and pressed our foreheads together.
“Happy New Year, Maus,” Luisa whispered, despite New Year’s being yesterday.
“Happy New Year, Moose.”
Chapter 7
Summary:
Spring is here, along with more oblivious Beca.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Winter was gone, and spring came with April. Most of the school drama between me and Luisa had died down, but there were still a few people who absolutely hated me. I didn’t care about them much because even if someone tried to mess with me, I knew Luisa was always near. Call it endearing, but we were still at the same friends with some benefits stage, kissing and hugging when we greeted each other and when we left. I knew we would have to give up on this sooner or later, mainly for the purpose of my heart not being able to handle the fact that I can touch her and love her, but not claim her as mine or have her claim me in more ways than one. I know I need to tell her, but every time I try to, I get interrupted by someone or something inside me just goes wrong. Why am I so awkward? Especially when it comes to this. Damn you emotions! It’s at this point in time when I feel something other than sadness, angst, and my newfound joy and love: frustration. I’ve felt frustration before, but not in this intensity. I didn’t know what to do, so I wrote Luisa a letter.
Dear Luisa,
For months I have lied to you. Well not exactly lied, but didn’t tell you something. Now I know it may be weird hearing this from me, but I can’t fight this feeling anymore. Pardon the REO Speedwagon reference. I’ve tried to tell you this many months ago, but that damned bell and Mr. Schneider had to interrupt. But here goes nothing. Luisa Birgitte Meyer, I love you. From the first moment I saw you, I knew I had to have you. Sure, I was immediately sexually confused, but that’s a whole other story I’ll explain later. Anyway, I never actually realized that I had feelings for you until that night in the park, and before I knew it, I wanted to kiss you more and more, no matter what others said. I knew you had a reputation to keep up, which is why I kept my feelings to myself. But like I said, I’m tired of hiding from myself and from you. In all honesty, you’re the very first person I’ve felt this way about. I can’t stop thinking about you, in more ways than one, and you’re all I’ve ever wanted. From anyone. I know this may come as a surprise, given that I’ve only known you for less than a year, but I truly believe I loved you since the first day.
Feel free to think I’m cliche with this, but I think it was love at first sight. For me, at least. I almost instantly fell in love with every part of you, though I had no idea who you were. Your blonde hair that I can’t help but run my fingers through every chance I can. Your smile that warms me every time I see it because it reminds me of the happy memories of us together. All the kisses, while not romantic, were special in their own way like we were meant to be together. Your eyes I get so lost in and want to get lost in for the rest of my life. I often times fantasize about laying with you and just staring into your eyes for hours on end. Doing nothing but lying there, eyes locked, arms around each other, and foreheads pressed together. I sound really creepy saying that, but I want the intimacy of a real relationship, with you. If I need to sacrifice everything to make this work, to make us work, I would do it to see you happy. You should already know who I am, but if I left anything out, know I call you Moose.
With Love,
Tiny Maus
I concluded my letter of confession before the bell rang for me to go to my next class, which was Music. I folded the piece of paper into a neat little envelope-looking thing and shoved it in my bag as I left my Science class. I walked through the halls and thought of what Luisa’s reaction would be? Would she scoop me into a hug and kiss me like she typically does when she’s happy? Or would she not talk to me for days to make up her mind on how to go about this? It could honestly go either way, and I wonder if this is the best way to tell her. I mean, the letter doesn’t even sound like me because, for one, I’m not Shakespeare. I don’t spend my days writing in iambic pentameter about love and death and tragedy. Two, I’m just not the best at communicating feelings, as many people know. Not to mention I’ve never been in love, certainly not with the person who tormented me for months on end. I have to admit, that’s a bit twisted and fucked up. A taller, male figure, either verbally or physically hurting the female figure for some reason, but then she ends up falling in love with him. Oddly reminds me of Fifty Shades of Grey . Though I swear to God that I am not into BDSM, okay maybe lightly.
I entered my Music class and tried to find the person I was looking for. I spotted them across the room, sitting in the next-to-top row of the auditorium seating. They had their feet propped up on the chair in front of them, wearing black jeans and a black polo rolled up to the elbows. As always, they were wearing a fair amount of eyeliner, and looked so condescending I wondered how they were friends with Luisa. I walked over to Guyliner, or Pieter as his name is, and discreetly said to him, “I need you to do something for me.” He glanced at me and motioned to the seat behind me. I sat behind him and he asked, “Vhat is it, Tiny Maus?” I felt like we were in some sort of thriller movie where two people had to talk but not look like they were. “I need you to give something to Luisa. Preferably during this class period,” I requested, trying to look natural as Luisa walked in.
“Vhat is it? Because she’s here, and she’ll find me in no time.”
“It’s just a letter. Tell her you found it in your locker asking to deliver it to Luisa.” I handed him the letter, and he looked at it for a second before setting it in his lap. He turned around to face me, “Alright, I’ll give her your love confession, though it’s completely useless.”
“What? Ho—?”
“Calm down Tiny Maus. You might want to go before she gets here so she knows something’s not up.”
“Fine Pieter. Give it to her.” I crawled to the other side of the seats and sat a row in front of Guyliner and Luisa when she sat down. I sighed heavily into my hands, and glanced back, only to find Luisa arched an eyebrow at me before she was elbowed in the arm by Pieter. He gave her the letter, explaining the story I told him, and she opened it. I looked away and squeezed my eyes shut to prevent tears coming through. I certainly didn’t want to cry over this, and definitely not when I had a lot of eye makeup on. Why did I choose today to be dark and mysterious?! I looked back at Luisa and saw her skimming the letter. She chuckled and shook her head at some points, but I had no idea what to make of it. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I could barely make out what they were saying based on their lips. “Oh Tiny Maus,” Luisa said, folding the paper back up and placing it in her bag. She turned to Pieter, “She does know that this is useless, right?”
“I tried to tell her, but she didn’t get the hint.”
“Alright then, I have a plan to tell her. Not sure if she’ll get that either though.”
“Well, it’s worth a shot.” Luisa nodded and got up, walking over to the teacher. She whispered a few things to her, and the teacher gave her a loud, “Ja! Zhat’s how you do it! Good for you Luisa!” The class fell silent at the comment, and Luisa sat at the seat that was just to the left of the piano. The teacher, Mrs. Klank, stood in front of the piano as she introduced the class. “Hallo class! Today, we are going to things a bit out of order by starting with a song. Luisa has volunteered to begin, and you all join in when you’re ready or don’t join in, whatever works for you.” Mrs. Klank walked back to the piano, looked at Luisa, and when she gave a nod, she began playing the opening notes to, “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri. Everyone, including me, was skeptical about the song choice but listened as Luisa sang in Soprano.
Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
But watching you stand alone,
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.
One step closer
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid.
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this
One step closer
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid.
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
One step closer
One step closer
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid.
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more.
No one spoke up or even joined Luisa in her singing of a pretty cliche love song. Everyone was lost in the lyrics and piano, but I was lost in Luisa’s eyes. She had been staring at me the whole time while I contemplated what this all meant. She was looking at me while singing a love song from Twilight . Is it just me, or am I crazy for thinking this was purposefully staged? While I like the song since I’m still a lovesick romantic inside, I just don’t know what she means by that. The lyrics were obvious, but why would she sing them? To me, especially. Anyway, when I come back to reality, Luisa’s hands are holding my face in place and her lips are on mine, kissing me passionately. Everyone around us awed at the sight when I reciprocated the kiss naturally, my arms finding their way around Luisa’s neck. We broke away, and Luisa watched me lovingly like I was supposed to say something. When I said, “What? I have no idea what’s going on,” everyone collectively face-palmed, and Luisa buried her face in my shoulder. “I told you she wasn’t going to get it!” Pieter yelled from across the room, Luisa giving him an annoyed look.
She removed her hands and sat next to me as the rest of the class focused back on Mrs. Klank. “What was that about?” I whispered, turning my head slightly toward Luisa.
“You don’t get it, do you?” she asked, eyebrows scrunched a bit.
“What’s there to get? I mean, if you’re trying to tell me I look like that character from Twilight —”
“No, that’s not. That’s not what I was getting at, though that is a valid point.” She stared at me with an I-can’t-believe-you-right-now face.
“Then what are you getting at?” She shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose before taking her pinched fingers away and shook them. She was looking at the ceiling as if asking for help to not kill me. “God! You’re such a huge dork!” she whispered, staring me directly in the face. “I’m sorry. I’m a straightforward person, I don’t get hints very easily. And that was probably the vaguest hint I’ve ever gotten.”
“That was the next obvious hint, besides me actually saying that I—” Luisa was cut off.
“Ms. Meyer! Would you care to explain why Mozart, was so important to today’s trash you teens call ‘music’?” Mrs. Klank asked, getting a few laughs from other students.
“Yes, actually. Mozart pioneered a syncopated beat, which is the basis for most trash, as you call it, these days.”
“Correct. Now don’t let me catch you talking again.” Luisa heeded the warning, wrapping her arm around my shoulders and not talking for the rest of the class. The bell rang soon enough, and we left for the cafeteria for lunch, not even checking if we had all our belongings. We walked together, hand in hand, and barely spoke a word until we were at our tables. Luisa pulled out her phone once she sat down, and texted me. Hey, Maus, I have a question.
Ask away, Moose. I saw the three little dots appear on screen to show she was typing, but then watched them disappear as she second guessed herself.
Would you come to my championship tennis game? It’s in a week and a half, May 10th. I would greatly appreciate the support.
I would love to come, though I’m not one for sports. Is it fine if Chloe comes along?
Of course, Maus. I don’t want you sitting alone when I’m on the court.
Great, let me ask her.
“Hey Chlo,” I started, getting her attention. She hummed that she was paying attention, but she was concentrated on a piece of Russian Literature in front of her. I waved my hand in front of her face and she snapped back to attention. “Yeah? What’s up, Becs?”
“Do you want to come with me to the championship tennis match on May 10th?” Chloe considered it for a few seconds before decidedly saying, “Sure, but we have to make a poster for Luisa. It doesn’t have to say you love her, but it does have to have glitter.”
“Really Chlo? That’s the herpes of craft supplies. You open it, and it gets everywhere. You know that.”
“Exactly why we’re making the poster in your room. You need more sparkle.”
“No, I don’t! I need to be left alone, that’s what I need.”
“What good is that? All you’ll do is think about Luisa, and mope around because you can’t tell her you love her without being a complete dummkopf.”
“Thanks. Real confidence booster there.”
Notes:
Now, you choose how you start the end. If you want them in a relationship soon, go to Chapter 8A. If you want to see where the awkward flirting goes, go to Chapter 8B.
Let me know if you want me to write something. Suggestions and feedback are always welcome.
Chapter 8: 8A
Summary:
This is option A for the Choose Your Own Ending. There are more chapters, but this is the start to the end.
Chapter Text
A week and a half had passed, and it was now the day of the championship tennis game. Luisa has been on edge all day, anticipating the rival team’s skill, but she had full confidence that she and her team would bring down the scumbags who dared test them, in her words. She was a bit more vulgar than was necessary, but I found it kind of cute that she had such a passion for the sport. I, being with her every time she got hype, was subject to spontaneous kisses and was even thrown over her shoulder as the bell rang and she dashed for the locker rooms to get ready for the game, which started in half an hour. I screamed and slapped her back to let me down, but I laughed at the fact of her being able to carry me for so long. She didn’t put me down until we were in front of her locker in the locker room, and when she did, all she could do was smile, laugh, and kiss me. She lifted me up by the waist and spun me around as she held me in the air, me holding on to her shoulders as best I could. She hugged me and put me down again before she started to strip in front of me.
She didn’t even care at this point because other team members, who seemed just as hype, came storming in with the same inclination to begin undressing. I looked around at all the somewhat naked girls around me and felt uncomfortable. The only other females I have seen naked were Luisa, Chloe that one time, and myself. Luisa sensed my discomfort and turned my head back to her with a finger under my chin. “Just look at me. You’ve already seen me half naked, so what does it matter?” Luisa comforted, removing the shorts she was wearing. I gaped at her half naked body while I sat down, waiting for her to finish getting dressed. She pulled on her tennis skirt with shorts underneath and looked back at me with a smug smirk. She turned to me, laughing, and bent down to talk to me very quietly. Like I said before, she was much more vulgar today than she typically was, so what she said was kind of erotic. “It’s okay, Maus. This isn’t the first time you’ve seen me like this. Remember that night in January?” she whispered to me, her face an inch from mine. “How could I forget?” I tried to come off as sarcastic but ended up sounding almost as vulgar as she was, which is so unlike me.
She brushed her lips against my cheek as she leaned closer to breathe into my ear, “I still remember how you tasted on my tongue. And how you nearly begged me to do it again. And again until you only knew my name.” I was immediately mortified as the memory came back to mind. The wet sheets, the heat, that dream I will never erase from my mind all came back when she even mentioned her nudity from that night. I wanted to say so many things to deny it as if it didn’t happen, but my thoughts were too real to be denied and I could barely breathe without gasping. Luisa clearly noticed, and moved her hand to the inside of my thigh, caressing me through my skinny jeans and drawing lazy circles. “Oh Maus, if only we had enough time, I would give you a repeat,” she told me and kissed my cheek before going back to getting dressed. I sat there, flustered and turned on, not knowing what to do with myself, my cheeks a bright red as I tried to cool myself down. I couldn’t let anyone see me like this, let alone Chloe. She’d ask all sorts of questions that I really don’t want to answer. All thanks to Miss Erotic in front of me.
Luisa finished getting dressed like nothing happened, and grabbed her equipment bag, grabbing my hand to pull me out of the locker room. She kissed my forehead and patted me on the cheek before saying, “Go Maus. Go to Chloe. She’s probably looking for you by now. I’ll look for you in the bleachers.” I nodded and hugged her tightly around the waist. “Good luck Moose,” I wished, feeling her hug me back. “Thank you, Maus.” I let go and went to find Chloe, who, as Luisa said, was looking for me. She ran to me, but upon seeing my flushed face and fairly heavy breathing, she asked, “Is everything alright?”
“Trust me, Chlo. Everything is definitely more than fine.”
********
Final set of the match and I was dying with anticipation. The singles games were saved for last, but Luisa’s was the last of the singles games. They had the best of our school facing the best of the other school’s, and so it was Luisa against some other chick I didn’t care for. I watched Luisa sprint back and forth on the court as she returned the ball to the other side, occasionally not returning the ball because the other person missed. Luisa huffed out a breath as she stood up straight when the other girl missed, throwing her hands in the air for encouragement. The other girl sneered at Luisa while Luisa served the ball again, getting the return right back at her head. Luisa ducked in time, but she had lost a point. The score was now 15-30, and Luisa had to score another two points to win the game, the set, the match, and the championship. Out of the five matches, our school had won two, and the other school had won two, meaning Luisa’s match was the tiebreaker. I worried about how much pressure she was under. I watched as she played again, but missed another shot. Her coach called a timeout, and Luisa slumped over to the bench where her coach was. Her coach was slightly pissed off, as I could tell, but Luisa occasionally glanced at me.
She continued to nod her head at whatever her coach was telling her as sweat dripped down her forehead. She seemed to have asked him a question to which he immediately denied, but she carried out anyway. She stormed away from the bench and over to me. Her coach kept screaming at her to get back because there were only another thirty seconds in the timeout, but all she did was angle my head toward hers and kiss me. I placed my hand on her waist and dared to let it go lower, enticing her. She broke away, hand still on my cheek, and looked as if she were memorizing my eyes. The officiator blew the whistle to end the time out, and I encouraged her, “Go take her down, Moose.” She nodded once and ran back to the court, focused and determined. The other girl served, and Luisa returned it, not breaking her attention. The back and forth continued until Luisa smashed the ball back, and the girl actually tripped on it. The crowd roared as the score became 40-30, game point. I centered on Luisa, who served the ball, and she almost jumped across the court to hit the ball back because the other girl flung it across. Luisa quickly recovered from the stunt, never losing track of the ball. The anticipation in the crowd intensified with every return and play made, the tension causing everyone’s panting.
Finally, as if she’s finished warming up, Luisa slammed the ball back, and it bounced off the court, hitting the other girl in the stomach. The other girl fell to her knees in pain as there was a collective groan from the audience, and Luisa smirked, twirling her racket in her hand. The score was called, and everyone from our school erupted in applause and cheering as we heard we won the championships. All thanks to Luisa. The rest of the team ran onto the court when Luisa was handed the trophy, and they threw her on their shoulders, cheering and screaming for her.
She looked at me and shrugged. I smiled at her, shaking my head, and went back to the locker rooms to wait for her. After a few minutes, the door opened and Luisa walked in alone with the trophy still in her hand. She saw me, placed the trophy on a bench, and pulled me into a massive hug. I hugged her back, complimenting, “You did so well out there! Congratulations!”
“Thank you, Maus. I wouldn’t have done it without you,” Luisa responded calmly. Before I knew what I was doing, I nuzzled my head into her chest, and blurted out, “I love you so much!” I froze immediately when I realized what I said, but Luisa had already caught me in a kiss much too strong to be friends. “I love you too Maus,” Luisa whispered, pulling away.
“Wait, what?” I put some distance between us to request clarification. Luisa seemed to understand what I was doing and explained, “I love you Beca. Just as you love me. I’ve loved you for as long as you have me, and I regret not telling you sooner.” My mind was still trying to process everything she was saying, so I stuttered out, “W-What?” Luisa picked me up by the waist, spun me around like she did before the championship, and once she could compose herself from her laughter, she set me down in front of her and nearly screamed, “I love you Beca! I love you Beca. You never realized it because you’re such a dork!”
“So what you’re saying is you’ve loved me all this time, but didn’t tell me?”
“I tried so many times, including like a week ago in Music, but I either got interrupted, or you didn’t know it. I don’t know whether to cry, kiss you, or hug you until I kill you!”
“I wouldn’t suggest the latter, but you do whatever you feel like.” I probably shouldn’t have said that, because she kissed me deeply and had me against a wall within seconds. I don’t think she or I could control ourselves at this point because we were already shirtless and heading for each other’s pants as the rest of the team walked in, stopping where they were in absolute horror. “Ummm . . . what did we just walk into?” the coach asked, seeing Luisa half naked and me with my fly undone. Luisa’s hands were still in my pants when she turned her head from my neck to the other girls standing before us. “Having a little celebration, I guess?” Luisa attempted, sounding questionable. I laughed under my breath, turning my head away from everyone, and slowly removed Luisa’s hands from my pants. I heard her let out a small whimper, but I told her, “Later Moose. Right now, you need to get dressed and packed up.”
“Fine, but I owe you, like, ten because you waited so long.” Luisa stepped away, grabbed her clothes, handed me mine, and went to her locker. I followed her while giving the rest of the team a-not-so-innocent expression. I barely got my shirt back on before Luisa was making out with my face again. I pulled away, reprimanding, “No Moose. Not until we’re at mine or your house where there’s no one to intrude.”
********
“I don’t think anyone intruded on us, did you?” Luisa breathed out between deep breaths, kissing me affectionately. She rolled off of me, holding my hand, and I moved closer, placing my head on her shoulder. I was so out of breath that I had to take in at least five breaths to heave out the sentence, “If your mother doesn’t count, then no. No one intruded.” We both laughed, remembering the horrified look on Luisa’s mother’s face when she saw Luisa on top of me, both fully naked, and clearly thrusting her fingers inside of me. All I could do was smile at the two very simple pieces of information that were now true: I had the tall, gorgeous bully as my girlfriend. And we both were no longer virgins. After about the third time we both had been pleasured by the other, we decided to take a break. At least for a few minutes. We couldn’t get enough of the other. The overwhelming rush of love and lust could only be handled in one, very sexual way, which ended us up here. In Luisa’s bed, both sweaty and out of breath, we completely ignored the party that was going on down the street to celebrate the winning of the tennis match. We just laid with each other, embracing the love and intimacy built up over the months.
We constantly said, “I love you,” like we were never going to be able to say it ever again, but we both reveled in hearing the statement from each other. I, for one, was dying to say it repeatedly, and our time together allowed me to do just that. While it was very explicit, we were together at last, and that was all that mattered. We were in love, and any time together was better than no time at all. We spent months trying to tell each other we loved each other, but now that we have, we can’t stop. It seems like every five seconds one of us says the confirmation of love and without hesitation, the other responded. I found it a bit weird that Luisa knew I loved her for months, yet didn’t tell me either she knew or loved me back. While I was pissed at her for some time about it, all was forgiven when she was the one to say it more often. I could only be held, not that I didn’t mind, I just wanted to be the cuddler and not the cuddlee. So I took Luisa’s head in my arms, and brought it close to my chest, pressing our bodies together. Luisa didn’t need to ask what I was doing because we understood each other, and she simply hugged me around the waist, kissing the closest part of me she could find. “What do we do now? I mean, now that we’re dating, should we tell everybody?” I asked, breaking the calm silence.
“I think we should tell people, starting with my mother and father. They’re going to question this for a fact,” Luisa answered, pulling me closer.
“Okay. But how do we do this? I mean, we could just walk into school on Monday holding hands and then yell ‘We’re gay!’” I suggested, making Luisa laugh.
“I have an idea. How about we announce it at the last dance of the year? It would allow us to . . . how you Americans say . . . go out with a bang.”
“Oh yeah. We need to do that. That’s like next month. So let’s start planning it later. Right now, I want to get back to fulfilling all those fantasies I had for months.”
“What will it be this time?”
“Let’s go with the one from just after New Year’s. The one you actually woke from.”
“Which would be in five words or less?” Luisa positioned herself to be eye to eye with me as an evil glint appeared in her eyes. I stared her in the eyes and bit my lower lip before I adamantly commanded, “Take me from behind Luisa.”
Chapter 9: 8B
Summary:
This is option B for the Choose Your Own Ending. Again, there are more chapters, but this is the start to the end.
Chapter Text
A week and a half had passed, and it was now the day of the championship tennis game. Luisa has been on edge all day, anticipating the rival team’s skill, but she had full confidence that she and her team would bring down the scumbags who dared test them, in her words. She was a bit more vulgar than was necessary, but I found it kind of cute that she had such a passion for the sport. I, being with her every time she got hype, was subject to spontaneous kisses and was even thrown over her shoulder as the bell rang and she dashed for the locker rooms to get ready for the game, which started in half an hour. I screamed and slapped her back to let me down, but I laughed at the fact of her being able to carry me for so long. She didn’t put me down until we were in front of her locker in the locker room, and when she did, all she could do was smile, laugh, and kiss me. She lifted me up by the waist and spun me around as she held me in the air, me holding on to her shoulders as best I could. She hugged me and put me down again before she started to strip in front of me.
She didn’t even care at this point because other team members, who seemed just as hype, came storming in with the same inclination to begin undressing. I looked around at all the somewhat naked girls around me and felt uncomfortable. The only other females I have seen naked were Luisa, Chloe that one time, and myself. Luisa sensed my discomfort and turned my head back to her with a finger under my chin. “Just look at me. You’ve already seen me half naked, so what does it matter?” Luisa comforted, removing the shorts she was wearing. I gaped at her half naked body while I sat down, waiting for her to finish getting dressed. She pulled on her tennis skirt with shorts underneath and looked back at me with a smug smirk. She turned to me, laughing, and bent down to talk to me very quietly. Like I said before, she was much more vulgar today than she typically was, so what she said was kind of erotic. “It’s okay, Maus. This isn’t the first time you’ve seen me like this. Remember that night in January?” she whispered to me, her face an inch from mine. “How could I forget?” I tried to come off as sarcastic but ended up sounding almost as vulgar as she was, which is so unlike me.
She brushed her lips against my cheek as she leaned closer to breathe into my ear, “I still remember how you tasted on my tongue. And how you nearly begged me to do it again. And again until you only knew my name.” I was immediately mortified as the memory came back to mind. The wet sheets, the heat, that dream I will never erase from my mind all came back when she even mentioned her nudity from that night. I wanted to say so many things to deny it as if it didn’t happen, but my thoughts were too real to be denied and I could barely breathe without gasping. Luisa clearly noticed, and moved her hand to the inside of my thigh, caressing me through my skinny jeans and drawing lazy circles. “Oh Maus, if only we had enough time, I would give you a repeat,” she told me and kissed my cheek before going back to getting dressed. I sat there, flustered and turned on, not knowing what to do with myself, my cheeks a bright red as I tried to cool myself down. I couldn’t let anyone see me like this, let alone Chloe. She’d ask all sorts of questions that I really don’t want to answer. All thanks to Miss Erotic in front of me.
Luisa finished getting dressed like nothing happened, and grabbed her equipment bag, grabbing my hand to pull me out of the locker room. She kissed my forehead and patted me on the cheek before saying, “Go Maus. Go to Chloe. She’s probably looking for you by now. I’ll look for you in the bleachers.” I nodded and hugged her tightly around the waist. “Good luck Moose,” I wished, feeling her hug me back. “Thank you, Maus.” I let go and went to find Chloe, who, as Luisa said, was looking for me. She ran to me, but upon seeing my flushed face and fairly heavy breathing, she asked, “Is everything alright?”
“Trust me, Chlo. Everything is definitely more than fine.”
********
Final set of the match and I was dying with anticipation. The singles games were saved for last, but Luisa’s was the last of the singles games. They had the best of our school facing the best of the other school’s, and so it was Luisa against some other chick I didn’t care for. I watched Luisa sprint back and forth on the court as she returned the ball to the other side, occasionally not returning the ball because the other person missed. Luisa huffed out a breath as she stood up straight when the other girl missed, throwing her hands in the air for encouragement. The other girl sneered at Luisa while Luisa served the ball again, getting the return right back at her head. Luisa ducked in time, but she had lost a point. The score was now 15-30, and Luisa had to score another two points to win the game, the set, the match, and the championship. Out of the five matches, our school had won two, and the other school had won two, meaning Luisa’s match was the tiebreaker. I worried about how much pressure she was under. I watched as she played again, but missed another shot. Her coach called a timeout, and Luisa slumped over to the bench where her coach was. Her coach was slightly pissed off, as I could tell, but Luisa occasionally glanced at me.
She continued to nod her head at whatever her coach was telling her as sweat dripped down her forehead. She seemed to have asked him a question to which he immediately denied, but she carried out anyway. She stormed away from the bench and over to me. Her coach kept screaming at her to get back because there were only another thirty seconds in the timeout, but all she did was angle my head toward hers and kiss me. I placed my hand on her waist and dared to let it go lower, enticing her. She broke away, hand still on my cheek, and looked as if she were memorizing my eyes. The officiator blew the whistle to end the time out, and I encouraged her, “Go take her down, Moose.” She nodded once and ran back to the court, focused and determined. The other girl served, and Luisa returned it, not breaking her attention. The back and forth continued until Luisa smashed the ball back, and the girl actually tripped on it. The crowd roared as the score became 40-30, game point. I centered on Luisa, who served the ball, and she almost jumped across the court to hit the ball back because the other girl flung it across. Luisa quickly recovered from the stunt, never losing track of the ball. The anticipation in the crowd intensified with every return and play made, the tension causing everyone’s panting.
Finally, as if she’s finished warming up, Luisa slammed the ball back, and it bounced off the court, hitting the other girl in the stomach. The other girl fell to her knees in pain as there was a collective groan from the audience, and Luisa smirked, twirling her racket in her hand. The score was called, and everyone from our school erupted in applause and cheering as we heard we won the championships. All thanks to Luisa. The rest of the team ran onto the court when Luisa was handed the trophy, and they threw her on their shoulders, cheering and screaming for her. I felt intense pride in Luisa’s accomplishment, not realizing how much I played a part in this. I walked to her after everyone put her down, and said, “Congratulations. You deserved to win.” She simply bent down and hugged me tightly, “Oh Maus. I couldn’t have done it without you.” I highly doubted her statement but knew Luisa enough to know not to challenge what she says. She let go of me just as she shouted, “Party at my place to celebrate! 9 o’clock tonight! See you there!” Everyone cheered louder, and I winced inwardly at the noise level. “Come tonight Maus. I would be glad to see you there,” Luisa pleaded, taking my hands in hers. No matter what I did, I couldn’t deny Luisa when she begged.
********
And not denying her had landed me here, in the middle of a Cards Against Humanity game with five other people, most I knew. Directly to my left was Luisa, to my right was Chloe. Next to Luisa was Pieter, next to him was Fat Amy, and next to both her and Chloe was someone else from DSM I didn’t know. So far, no one has won, and we can barely hear each other over the blaring obscene music that was dirty enough to be American hip hop. I think that’s what it was, but I couldn’t tell as the bass was all I could hear. The next round started where I was the judge and I drew a black card, reading it aloud. “Dear Sir or Madam, We regret to inform you that the Office of blank has denied your request for blank,” I read, taking another chug of the beer in front of me. Everyone looked at their cards for a second, contemplating the best decision for the blanks. Chloe was first to hand me her card which read, “Chainsaws for hands,” and then Pieter followed shortly behind with, “Inappropriate yodeling”. Fat Amy came next with, “A homemade, cum-stained Star Trek uniform” and other DSM member handed me, “Making the penises kiss”. Luisa was last, but hers was by far the funniest. With a very suggestive wink, she gave me, “A bigger, blacker dick.”
I burst out laughing at the cards in front of me. I selected my two favorites, and read what the sentence formed out loud. “Dear Sir or Madam, We regret to inform you that the Office of Making the penises kiss has denied your request for a bigger, blacker dick,” was what I read, and we all laughed at its ridiculousness. I was certainly not biased into picking Luisa’s card, but I had to admit, she did have leverage. I may be kind of buzzed right now, but I felt amazing. I drank more of the beer I had, and the judging role was passed to Luisa. She pulled a card and read it to us. “My mom freaked out when she looked at my browser history and found blank .com/ blank.” I looked at the white cards I had in my hands and surveyed all the possible answers for the blanks. I decided to do it at random since most of the cards I had were dirty, and ended up giving Luisa, “Powerful thighs”. She glanced back at me with an arched eyebrow, licking her lips and slowly moving her hand down her inner thigh. She was sitting cross-legged so her action was a lot more inappropriate than it normally would’ve been. I was unknowingly staring at Luisa’s almost bare legs and was made aware I was doing so when Luisa read the card with the blanks filled in.
“My mom freaked out when she looked at my browser history and found Tentacle Porn .com/ Powerful thighs.” Fat Amy and I high fived while Pieter yelled out, “How does, ‘Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum’ not get it?!” Right when Pieter screamed that, the music died down and everyone turned to look at him strangely before going back to dancing. It was Pieter’s turn to judge, and after all the cards were submitted, his filled in card read, “The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth + Swapping bodies with Mom for a day = Getting eaten out while on the phone with Dad.” He was obviously drunk, but we all were, so it didn’t matter. Only Luisa was still just a bit sober, but that was because she had a particularly high tolerance for alcohol. I envied her for that. I drank about four or five beers and I was hammered. I couldn’t see straight, but I wasn’t so it didn’t matter. At this point, Fat Amy declared she won, though Luisa was the actual winner, and we cleaned up as best as our drunk asses would allow before going to dance with everyone else. I held my drink in my hand as I swayed to the music for a good hour. Once I had reached my seventh drink, I knew I was going to throw up. I quickly headed upstairs to try and find a bathroom. Luisa apparently saw me and followed me.
After wandering for a few minutes, I felt someone grab my hand and start pulling me toward a room at the end of the hallway. I knew by the softness of the hand that Luisa was pulling me to a room. When I saw it was a bathroom she brought me to, my gag reflex kicked in, and I doubled over, hurling into the toilet in front of me. Luisa pulled my hair back as the contents of my stomach were released into the porcelain bowl. When I had finished, I told her, “I’m so sorry you had to see that.” She shook her head and helped me up, sitting me on the counter of the sink. “Nonsense, Maus. I should be sorry for letting you drink that much.” I found it quite endearing that she cared for me so much, though we were only friends, that didn’t stop me from loving her.
She reached under the sink and pulled out a fresh toothbrush. She squirted some toothpaste onto the brush, wet it, and asked, “Can you do this? Or do I need to do this?” Based on my dazed state, she opened my mouth and began brushing my teeth carefully to remove the acid that covered them. I opened my eyes and witnessed a sight I might never see again. Luisa in full concentration mode, care written all over her face, and she gently held my head in place. I tried to decipher what it all meant, but my mind was so far gone that it physically hurt to do anything else. She finished brushing my teeth, and said, “Spit, Maus.” I followed her commands to the best of my ability and spit in the sink to the left of me. “Now, tongue out.” I rolled my tongue out, it hanging limply out of my mouth. Luisa laughed at my drunken state but brushed my taste buds like she had my teeth. I finally spit and rinsed before she carried me to a bed covered in silk sheets. She laid me down, brushing the hair out of my face before saying, “Oh Tiny Maus. We need to get you out of those clothes quickly.”
Chapter 10: 9A
Summary:
Continuation on Chapter 8A.
Chapter Text
When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I noticed was Luisa’s sleeping face. She was on her side, facing me, and her hair almost covered her entire face. I pushed the hair behind her ear and got up on my elbow to fully appreciate her beauty. Her eyes were closed gently, and her long eyelashes overshadowed the small bags she had under her eyes, something I want to remedy. Her lips were slightly parted, warm breath passing through when she exhaled, and I can see the beginnings of the teeth which marked me last night and early this morning. Overall, she looked like a sleeping baby. Innocent, yet grown. Soft, yet tough. God-like, yet human. I couldn’t believe she was mine. She . . . was . . . mine. I had to say that a few times before I could begin to understand just what I was saying to myself. Sure, I knew she was my girlfriend, but knowing she was mine was so much harder to believe than one would think. I must have been talking out loud for a few minutes because Luisa stirred, rolled onto her back, still facing me, and opened her eyes. “Good morning, Moose,” I greeted with a kiss. Luisa caught me in her arms, pulling me closer, and deepened the kiss, teasing me with her tongue. “Good morning, Maus. So what should we do today?” I moved to straddle Luisa’s waist, and nestled myself below her chin, laying fully on her.
“Each other. Kidding, let’s go to the festival that’s in town. Totally, not kidding, I want to fuck you again,” I said half-jokingly. Luisa gawked at me with a half-joking half-serious face, either actually considering my proposition or coming up with a better one. “Let’s do that. Go to the festival, that is. We need to do couple-like things, besides stay in bed all day and you know,” Luisa concluded, flipping us onto my back. She stared into my eyes before kissing me three times. “I love you, Maus.”
“I love you too, Moose.” We kissed again, and Luisa’s door opened, her mother walking in. Her mother didn’t take more than three steps into the room before seeing us and screamed, “Jesus Christ! Why do I keep doing this?!”
“Don’t worry Mama, we’re not doing anything,” Luisa comforted, looking at her mother. Even with the confirmation, Luisa’s mother used her hand to cover her half naked daughter and a half naked me from her view, and just explained why she was here. “We thought you might want to go to the festival, so we bought your tickets ahead of time.”
“Thanks, Mama. Beca and I were actually thinking about going, so that helps.”
“And who is Beca?” Luisa kissed me once before she responded to her mother, “Beca’s my girlfriend. And the beautiful woman below me at this moment.” Luisa’s mother glanced at me right when I teased, “Not for long,” and flipped us onto Luisa’s back, me sitting on Luisa’s stomach. Luisa’s mother put her hand down, seeing there was no danger, and talked to me briefly. During that conversation, Luisa tried to snake her hands between my legs, but I swatted them away before she could do anything to me that would embarrass me. When Loraine, Luisa’s mother, left the room, my phone rang. I answered it, and Chloe just screamed in my ear, “Where are you?!” After I explained the situation to her, we agreed to meet at the festival. I hung up, and Luisa and I got dressed. I borrowed some of Luisa’s smaller clothes since mine were dirty, and we grabbed some quick breakfast before we left. We rode Luisa’s motorcycle to the festival, which didn’t take more than five minutes.
We stepped off and walked to the ticket booth to verify our tickets where we saw Chloe with Pieter. We immediately questioned what was happening between the two, but much to our surprise, they were just there waiting for us. “Ah! So you now decide to join us? After you’ve thoroughly eaten each other?” Pieter joked, hugging Luisa. Chloe and I hugged as I responded, “Oh no Pieter. We would’ve continued to eat each other, but we had to be that one awkward couple here on a first date that didn’t end with sex.” Though this totally might, I added in my head. My sarcasm was desperately needed because Chloe and Pieter looked like they were going to kill the other. At the very least, end up in the hospital for severe injuries. We separated the two and finished the ticket process before deciding what to do. After the longest debate I’ve ever had with anyone, we all thought it best to go with friends first, and then Luisa and I can disappear with each other. So Chloe and I walked off toward the rides, and Pieter and Luisa went toward the games. As soon as the other two were out of earshot, Chloe blew me up with questions. The very first being, “What was it like?” I stopped walking, stared at her for a long time, and told her, “Don’t do that to me.”
“Don’t do what?” Chloe asked, dragging me by my arm.
“Don’t start questioning me about that.”
“Why not?”
“One, it’s private. Two, it’s none of your business. Three, it shouldn’t matter to you.”
“One, I don’t care. Two, what’s your business is mine, and Three, it’s all that matters to me right now.” Damn this girl was persistent. I had to give her that, because it was a good quality to have. We walked for a while longer, Chloe begging me to spill the details, and I ignored her all the way to the carousel. I knew we would look a bit ridiculous on a children’s ride, but at least it got Chloe to stop asking about my first experience(s) with Luisa. After a few more rides, Chloe dropped the subject, but she knew I would cave soon enough. I couldn’t wait to see Luisa again, and Chloe saw I was getting antsy to get back to my Moose. “I think you’ve been tortured enough. Let’s try and find them,” Chloe said. I ran around when she even suggested finding Luisa, and I couldn’t find her in the first few minutes. I decided to call her and find out where she was. She picked up the call within the first ring. “Hallo, Maus?”
“Hey, Moose. Where are you?”
“Well, right now. I’m right behind you.” I turned around to see Luisa just a few feet away. I shut my phone off and ran to her, jumping into her arms like Rachel McAdams did in The Notebook . Luisa was just as antsy to see me, so she hugged me tightly, kissing the side of my head repeatedly. Pieter and Chloe watched in near horror at our embrace, glancing back and forth between each other and us. We spun a few times before I was put down and we kissed passionately. “God, I missed you,” I whispered, my forehead pressed against Luisa’s with eyes closed and hands on her neck. “I missed you too, Maus,” she whispered back, hands on my waist. She pulled away to show me something she was holding in her hand. It was about teddy bear size, but it was a little stuffed mouse. “A tiny maus for meine Tiny Maus,” Luisa explained, handing me the stuffed animal. I unconsciously awed and hugged Luisa around the waist. “Thank you Moose. I love it. I love you.”
“I love you too, Maus,” she said, hugging me back. Pieter and Chloe just stood there in shock until I asked them, “What are you still doing here? Go get some food or something.” Pieter shook himself from the trance he was in, and told Chloe, “C’mon. Let’s give the lovebirds their alone time.” He grabbed her wrist when she didn’t do anything and dragged her off to the concessions stand. Luisa and I just stood there in each other’s arms for a while, enjoying each other’s warmth on the otherwise cool day. I nearly fell asleep in Luisa’s arms, but just before I could, Luisa shook me awake. “Maus, we can sleep together later, but for now we have the rest of the festival to enjoy.”
“Alright,” I yawned, “Where to next?”
“I have an idea.” Luisa turned around and I jumped onto her back, wrapping my arms around her neck. She began to trod off to the rides, and the soft rocking motion of her walking sent me to sleep. My head was resting on her shoulder when I blacked out, and her breathing kept me asleep. By the time I woke up, I was sitting in her lap, head still on her shoulder, and she was holding me gently. I opened my eyes to see the tanned skin on her neck, occasionally moving when she swallowed. I yawned again, the warm breath hitting her skin and letting her know I was awake. She looked down at me, smiled, and kissed my forehead. “Hey Sleepy Face,” she greeted. I sat up, kissed her back, and corrected, “It’s Sleepy Head, Moose. Not Sleepy Face. You’re so adorable when you mess those up.” Luisa laughed and kissed me again. It was now that I realized we were on some ride that was slow moving and rising. I looked past Luisa and noticed the other cars on the ride. We were on the Ferris Wheel. Damn it! I glanced down at the ground that was so far away and stiffened in fear. Luisa felt me tense up, and she immediately asked me, “Is everything alright, Liebling?” She only called me Liebling when she was concerned, and my panicked state was most definitely concerning. I was shaking out of anxiety, which made Luisa worry more. “Liebling? Beca? Tell me what’s wrong.” I continued to stare at the distant ground in fear when I whined, “I-I’m a-afraid of hei-heights.”
We reached the top of the circle, and came to an abrupt stop. I nearly screamed my head off, but Luisa tore my attention from the ground to her. “We are experiencing technical difficulties with the motor at this time, but we will have it up and running soon,” the operator shouted through a bullhorn to be heard. The thought of being suspended nearly a hundred feet in the air in a metal deathbox with almost no way to get down ran through my mind, and tightened my grip on Luisa. My nails dug themselves into Luisa’s shoulders to find an anchor in this situation, making her wince slightly at the pain. My breathing quickened as did my heart rate, and my eyes darted around the car we were in, attempting to find something sturdy to hold onto. Luisa saw my terror rising quickly, and this gave her a sense of urgency to calm me down. She moved me to straddle her legs, and caught my face in her hands. I wanted to remove her from me and cower in the center of the car, but something inside me saw her gentle touch as comforting and kept me in place. She tilted my head to hers, kissed me, and gazed deeply into my eyes when she pulled away. She stopped my mental rambling with a kiss, and kept me placid with her stare. The blue in her eyes reminded me of calm oceans, and my painful grip on her shoulders loosened, my hands dropping into my lap. She caressed my cheeks with her thumbs, soothing my shot nerves with the motion’s gentleness. My heart rate slowed, but still was above the normal heart rate and my breathing evened out enough to not alarm Luisa. I gasped in air, and let it out slowly, causing tears to well up in my eyes. I felt myself about to start crying, and I knew exactly why. Luisa and I have been dating for a total of a day and we already have something that most couples don’t understand until they are a few months into their relationship.
Then the realization hits me. Luisa and I have had the bond of girlfriends since December, and we unknowingly loved each other the whole time. We just made the girlfriend thing official yesterday, hit the next step later that night, and hit the next step this morning when I met Luisa’s mother. I may have been completely oblivious before, but now I see clearly what has been in front of me the whole time. Another lovesick teenager who has had her fair share of personal tragedy, and who loves me. That’s all I’ve ever wanted in my life. To be loved. The only one I knew that loved me was my mother, but I haven’t seen her in two years since my parents divorced. Now, I have someone who cares for me and truly loves me. I’ve figured out the whole deal with my sexuality, and I’ve come to realize that I don’t fit into a particular one. I knew that all I’ve wanted from a relationship was to be loved, and I now know that I don’t care who they are or what they identify as, only that they love me as I love them. Luisa completed that perfectly. She loved me despite her flaws, which I still can’t find, and despite mine. I love her for that. I love her for everything. And I love her for helping me with everything and anything. If she wasn’t on this Ferris wheel with me, I would’ve been crazy for hours, but as I stared into her eyes, all I could find was calm. She was my clarity in this insanity. Tears poured from my eyes when I knew all of this to be true. I buried my face in Luisa’s chest, holding her close, and spouted out, “I love you, Luisa! I love you! I . . . I love you.” She hugged me back as tightly and ran her fingers through my hair as tears ran down her face. “I love you too, Beca. I love you too.”
I must have fallen back asleep because the next thing I knew, I was laying in my bed next to Luisa, who was watching me sleep. “I’m sorry I took you on that ride. I didn’t know you had a fear of heights,” Luisa apologized, kissing the top of my head. “It’s okay, Luisa. Just let me know next time you do that.” We laughed a bit, and Chloe’s mother walked in. Luckily, we were both dressed because we didn’t want a repeat of this morning. I turned around in Luisa’s arms to face Chloe’s mother and she said, “Hey girls! How are you?”
“Just fantastic, now that I’m off that cursed ride and in her arms,” I answered, snuggling closer to Luisa. Chloe’s mother slightly squealed with emotion before she continued, “You guys are so cute together! I can see why you love her Beca. Anyways, I think I can help you with your grand coming out.”
Chapter 11: 9B
Summary:
Continuation of Chapter 8B
Chapter Text
When I woke up the next morning, my head was pounding, and it hurt to just open my eyes a bit. I winced as I opened my eyes fully, squinting to limit the amount of sunlight entering my eyes. Is this what a hangover is? If so, I may never drink in excess again. I sat up, groaning and rubbing my eyes. It was then that I realized I wasn’t in my own bed or bedroom. I looked at myself in confusion and saw that I was wearing my undergarments, but someone else’s polo. They had to be much bigger than me because the sleeves were rolled up to my elbows. My hair was up in a messy bun and oddly I didn’t remember almost anything from the night before. The other half of the bed next to me was messed up like I was sleeping next to someone. My memory was fuzzy until I remembered a key part of last night: Luisa. She helped me while I was completely fucked up. She brushed my teeth, changed my clothes, and helped me to bed. Damn, she’s good. I looked around the room in confusion, and I had no idea what to make of this situation until Luisa walked in from the balcony. She was wearing a loose t-shirt that had the female symbol on it, and she was drinking coffee or tea.
I drank in the sight of her as she went over to her wardrobe and acknowledged me, “Morning Maus. Did you sleep well?” I yawned, stretching out, and looked at her through the mirror mounted onto her wardrobe. She set her mug down on the surface, running her fingers through her hair, and searched through the drawers. When she couldn’t find what she was looking for, she picked her cup up and sat on the other side of the bed next to me. “I actually don’t remember. But perhaps you could fill in the details? Because right now, it looks like we had sex and I didn’t know it,” I answered, not knowing what to do. Luisa looked at me, shook her head, and laughed, “No, Maus. We did not have sex. If anything, we would’ve made love, but that’s beside the point.”
“And the point is?” I asked, looking at her.
“You were extremely drunk, and you were going to throw up, so I helped you.”
“And what happened to my clothes?” I was so confused at this moment, I don’t think even The Riddler could’ve made me more confused.
“Ah, yes. They were covered in your vomit, so I changed them.” I blushed at the thought of her seeing me half naked, and she just laughed even more. “Before you ask, Maus. Yes, I saw you naked. Yes, I wanted to make love to you right then. And No, I didn’t take any embarrassing pictures of you. You would want to ask Chloe about that,” she explained as if reading my thoughts. I didn’t know I had the question of whether or not she wanted to make love with me, as she put it until she said it. I suddenly found myself going through all of the fantasies I ever had of her in a matter of seconds, correcting the details I had gotten wrong. She seemed to have sensed what I was doing, and said, “Thinking about it won’t do anything but cause more yearning. You have to take action in order to get what you want.” Before I knew what she told me, she set her mug down on the table next to her bed and motioned to me to follow her out onto the balcony. I cautiously got out of the bed and walked toward Luisa. She held the door open for me as I walked out into the morning sun. I sat down at the small table, and she followed suit, telling me, “I hope you’re hungry because I made breakfast.” She had made scrambled eggs and toast, perfectly toasted, and buttered. Like her. “I didn’t know I was perfectly toasted and buttered, Maus. What exactly has ‘buttered’ me?” Luisa interjected, using air quotes for emphasis. I was simply left speechless with her mention of my slip up. Unfortunately, I slipped up again seconds later, “My mouth, if I can get it into the right position. Damn it.” Luisa laughed, munching on a piece of toast.
We ate breakfast, talking about last night and my complete drunkenness before we both got dressed. I wore my clothes from yesterday because Luisa had gingerly washed them for me, and she wore some shorts and a pink racerback shirt. The straps to the blue sports bra she was wearing were clearly visible, but she didn’t care. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and waited for me to finish getting dressed. I seriously needed to tell her I loved her, or else I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle myself around her. We went downstairs, and she grabbed her keys off the counter before telling her parents where she was going. We hopped onto her motorcycle, and sped back to my house, me holding tightly to her waist as we accelerated. We pulled up to the curb in front of my house, and I removed the helmet she gave me because she, “wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if we got in an accident and I got hurt because she was wearing the helmet, not me.” We got off, Luisa grabbing my hand, and headed to the front door. I knocked, and Chloe’s mother answered. “Oh my God! There you are! We’ve been trying to find you all day!” Chloe’s mother exclaimed, hugging me. She looked to Luisa, who was still holding my hand and let go of me to hug her. Luisa was slightly taller than her and accepted the hug wholeheartedly.
“You must be Luisa! Beca never stops talking about you, and I can see why!” Chloe’s mother shouted, letting go of Luisa and looking her up and down. “Mom! Really?” I groaned, my headache coming back. She held her hand out to Luisa, who took it, and continued to explain, “Hi. I’m Ava Beale. Chloe’s Mom and Beca’s Host Mother.” Luisa nodded, and responded, “Yes, I am Luisa. And trust me, I can’t stop talking about her when it comes to my parents.” Luisa smiled a bit smugly before dropping the handshake and glancing at me. Chloe’s mother just awed and told us, “How sweet? Well, if you two want to go do something, I’m fine with that. I’ve seen Beca and know she’s alright, thanks to you Luisa. I think Chloe wanted to go to the spring festival, so if you two wanted to join her.” Luisa was first to speak up, “Actually, I had a few errands to run before I was going to go, so I’ll see you there, Maus?”
“Yes, Moose. I’ll see you there.” Luisa kissed me on the cheek before hugging me briefly and getting back to her motorcycle. My cheek burned where she kissed me, and as she pulled away, Chloe’s mother yelled, “Bye, Luisa. Hope to see you soon!” I face palmed in embarrassment at my host mother’s antics and thought of the next time I would see Luisa.
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Which as luck would have it, that turned out to be sooner than I expected. I stood in front of Chloe and Fat Amy, staring up at the massive circle of metal called a Ferris wheel. “No. I’m not doing this,” I stated, turning back toward them. “C’mon Becs, you want to overcome at least one of your fears this year. It’s either this or tell Luisa you love her in the next three hours,” Chloe pressed, knowing she’d win. She dared me to ride the Ferris wheel alone once, and me having a fear of heights, it’s not the best idea. To her, it was the greatest idea ever. She could either help me get over my phobia or finally help me admit my love for Luisa. No matter what happened, I was going to be pissed at her for quite some time. “Do you need some confidence, ‘cause I could tone mine down a bit?” Fat Amy proposed, rubbing her armpits. “No, Amy! I don’t need any of your confidence,” I huffed out. I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration and decided. “Fine! I’ll do it, only because I’m terrified of the other option.” I turned away from them and breathed out deeply before slowly slinking off toward the line. I stood at the back of the line while waiting for my torture. After a few minutes of standing in line, the operator yelled out, “Are there any single riders in line?” He asked twice and I finally had the courage to raise my hand, walking to the front of the line. Behind me, Chloe and Amy cheered for me, as if that was going to raise my spirits any.
I came to the front of the line anxious, and the operator motioned for me to go to the car that had only one other rider. I felt sorry for the other rider because they would have to deal with my panicking ass. I sat across from them, looking down at the ground, and told them, “I’m sorry in advance.” They seemed to turn to me, and, after looking at me, cooed, “Why are you sorry, Maus?” My head shot up at the nickname Maus, and low and behold was Luisa sitting across from me. The ride started back up, and I felt my heart lurch out of my chest. “I-I’m afraid. Of hei-heights,” I stumbled, gulping hard. Luisa took on of my hands in hers, caressing the back of my hand with her thumb. I really didn’t mean to, but I looked out and down to the ground, which was about fifty feet down. I freaked out, and clung to the closest thing, that thing being Luisa’s hand. I started shaking uncontrollably, and my breathing became erratic as we continued our ascent up, me looking down at the far way grass. Luisa quickly identified the problem and tried to calm me down. “Maus, it’s alright. I’m here. There’s nothing to worry about,” Luisa coaxed, taking my other hand in hers. My head turned stiffly when she squeezed my hands, but it diverted my attention from the ground that was still disappearing from my view.
She cupped my cheek with her palm, the warmth calming me some, and she held my hand a bit tighter. I breathed heavily as I shook, but once she got me to look into her eyes, my tremors went to trembles, and my trembles went to shivers. There was something demanding, yet soothing about her gaze that seemed to help me regain some form of composure. I was still terrified out of my mind, but she made the terror surreal, convincing me that it was all a dream and I shouldn’t worry. Because she was here. Luisa was here, and she would comfort me with anything she could think of, whether it be her words, her touch, or her lips. Speaking of which, hers were on mine at the moment, and I melted, forgetting everything else at the moment. All I knew was the pure softness of her lips pressing against mine with an insistent force that made my heart rate slow to the point where I thought I was going to pass out due to lack of blood flow to my head. I sighed into the kiss, feeling my worries float away, and I instantly felt a sense of lightheadedness. I intertwined my fingers with Luisa’s to have something to ground myself in so I didn’t go out too far. There was no problem with getting lost because our kiss was broken when the car jerked to a sudden stop. At the top of the ride.
“Excuse me, passengers. It seems the motor has stopped working. We are doing our best to remedy the situation, so everybody stay calm,” the operator from below shouted through a bull horn. I realized what that meant, and immediately started having a nervous breakdown. I was mentally pacing back and forth, tearing my hand from Luisa’s, and my hands went to cover my face as I cried helplessly. “No! No! This can’t be happening!” I repeated, starting to rock back and forth. I was getting lost further and further into my torturous thoughts for the outcome of this situation. All of them ended with the death of me and Luisa, though there was only one thought of Luisa making it out of this alive, which gave me a small bit of optimism. That small bit of optimism flourished when Luisa grabbed me by the waist and kissed me. My lips quivered beneath hers, surrendering to her greater control of emotions. I cried a bit more as Luisa held my face up to hers, wiping away the tears that already rained down. She broke away, pressed her forehead to mine, and mitigated, “It’s okay, Maus. I’m here. Listen to me.”
I succumbed to Luisa’s domineering ways and allowed her to take me into her lap, cradling my head against her chest so I could hear her soft and steady heartbeat. I was already starting to calm down, but she continued to soothe me despite my protestations. I clung to her like a newborn but didn’t care because she was the remedy in this tragedy. I breathed against her chest, cuddling closer, and just thought of all I would say to her if I had the strength. I love you, Luisa! I love you! I don’t care whatever happens to us because you know now that I love you. I always have, always will. I would’ve told you earlier, but I was way too scared then. I don’t know how to explain this, but you’ve helped me find myself. You’ve helped me realize that all I’ve ever wanted from anyone is to be loved. Even if you don’t love me, I knew what it was like to be loved. Everything you did for me showed me you cared when nobody else did. I don’t know how else to thank you, but I love you! I love you, Luisa. I can’t take it anymore. I cried the whole rest of the time we were up there, a combination of joy, sadness, and terror. Luisa held me like a child and sang to me to try and lull me to sleep.
I closed my eyes and let her singing ease my troubled mind as I settled my head over her heart. I kissed her chest lightly and felt a kiss on the top of my head in response. We reached the bottom a few minutes later, and Luisa carried me bridal style off of the ride, trying to find Chloe and Amy. Chloe spotted Luisa over the crowd that gathered and then saw my brunette hair. She got to us quickly, asking what happened. Luisa put me down, and I explained that the motor broke down while we were at the very top and I had a massive anxiety attack that Luisa had to calm me down from. Chloe felt sorry for daring me to go on alone, but she thanked Luisa for helping me and started to pull me toward home. I stopped, hugged Luisa tightly, and kissed her, saying, “Thank you, Moose. I couldn’t have made it without you.” Luisa kissed me back, hugged me, and said, “No problem Maus. Just know you can tell me anything.”
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“I need to tell her, but when?” I asked, sitting on my bed when we got home.
“How about at the dance?” Chloe suggested, sitting across from me on the end of my bed.
“What do you mean?”
“There’s always a dance at the end of senior year, after graduation to celebrate the end of school entirely, and you can do it then.”
“How would I do that?” I questioned. At that moment, Chloe’s mother busted in through the door like she had been listening to us the whole time, and shouted, “I have the perfect idea!”
Chapter Text
Graduation was yesterday, I leave in two days, and I already missed Luisa. I knew I was going to see her later at the dance, but I couldn’t help feeling lost without her by my side. After all, she has done more for me emotionally, and mentally than anyone I know. (Might I also add sexually, because she has done a shit ton in that area) Yes, for the first few months it was almost hell because I was constantly verbally assaulted, but I know now that she was just flirting. I never knew how oblivious I was to her advances until she told me I was ignoring them. I mean seriously, who calls pushing someone against a wall and turning them on flirting? Then again, she was fairly obvious with her comfortability in kissing me, holding my hand, and even licking me clean that one time. I still don’t see how we considered ourselves friends after that experience, but we just went on like nothing had happened. Like it was the most normal thing ever. I couldn’t stop laughing at the look on Chloe’s face when I told her what happened before she walked in. She was so terrified at imagining Luisa going down on me while she walked to my room that she didn’t talk to me for days after that conversation.
I thought over the past school year as I stepped out of the shower, wrapping myself in the towel I set on the edge of the sink before getting in. I dried myself off, then got dressed in my lacy red undergarments. I went back to the bathroom and applied the makeup required for the dress I was going to wear. I couldn’t believe it myself, but I was wearing a dress voluntarily. My makeup was pretty basic, with semi-heavy eyeliner and mascara. I thought about what I was going to do with my lips while I dug through Chloe’s makeup bag. I came across a lipstick that caught my attention. I looked at the color on the sticker stuck to the bottom of the tube, and read, “Unicorn Blood.” I was immediately shocked because I never would’ve imagined someone so tame would have a lipstick color that was so violent. “Ummm . . . Chloe? Why do you have a lipstick color ‘Unicorn Blood’? And do you mind if I use it?” I asked, poking my head out of the bathroom. “Because it’s a cool color, and sure. It would go great with your dress,” she responded, looking at me from down the hall. “Thanks!” I yelled, going back into the bathroom. I picked up my phone, opened up Snapchat, and sent a picture of my makeup to Luisa, captioned, “I’m getting dressed now, Moose. How far are you?”
As soon as I finished putting my lipstick on, my phone buzzed with a notification. I glanced down at my screen and saw it was a Snapchat from Luisa. I unlocked my phone, checking my makeup in the mirror, and headed back to my room to do my hair. I tapped on the latest message and saw Luisa. She was in the shower, her hair wet and soapy like she was washing it, and of course, she was fully naked, but the picture didn’t reveal anything lower than her shoulders. It was captioned, “I just got in, Maus.” She had a teasing look on her face, with her classic eyebrow raise and smirk, but she was just adorable. I smiled, and snapped a bit more promiscuous picture, showing part of my push-up bra. I captioned it, “Awww. Is that all I get, Moose?” I waited for her response, decided what to do with my hair, and started to use Chloe’s blow dryer to dry my hair slightly when Luisa answered. This time it was a video that started with Luisa’s face, her biting her lower lip and quickly raising an eyebrow in a sensual manner, and she said, “Follow my hand,” as she wiggled her fingers in front of the camera and agonizingly slowly dragged her hand down her wet body, the water droplets visible in the lighting. The camera followed her hand’s journey all the way down, teasing at some body parts, and stopped at her stomach, her belly button the center of attention. Though the camera stopped, her hand didn’t. It continued downward, and I didn’t know what she was doing until I heard her breath catch, saw her stomach tighten, and heard her gasp just above a whisper, “Ja, Beca.” That’s when the video cut off.
I was so happy with myself when I remembered I saved the video before I knew what she was doing, thinking she would want me to, and before I realized it, I was video calling her. She picked it up immediately, and I heard her gasp but saw the wall in her bathroom. “Where are you, Moose?” I asked, and the phone was flipped around, but it was at a distance like she was holding it against the wall for support. I saw her struggled face, lip bit down hard and eyebrows pulled together. She looked at me, eyes opening wide and a small moan escaping her lips. “What do you want me to do?” I pried, getting scandalous. She breathed heavily a few times before she whimpered, “Bitte, Maus. Talk me there.” I licked my lips, careful not to wipe away my lipstick, and laid down on my bed, thinking of what to say. I’ve never been the one to talk someone to orgasm, but based on what Luisa has told me, or what I’d imagine she’d say to me, I conjured up an orgasm-building phrase. “What’s my name?” I asked, starting to get her fired up. “B-Beca,” she stuttered, her breathing becoming quicker. “Please, Maus. I’m so close,” Luisa begged, closing her eyes again. I bit the inside of my cheek, feeling myself throb from hearing Luisa’s begging. “Look at me,” she followed my command, “What’s my name?”
“B-Beca!” she nearly screamed, her voice going a bit higher. I could tell she was on the verge of coming, so I sped up my sentences. “Scream my name, Luisa! Cum für mich!” I commanded, pushing her further. She huffed in one more breath before it was immediately taken with her loud shriek, “Beca!” I heard her scream three more times, and once she finished, she stood there, huffing and puffing like she was the Big Bad Wolf, though we both knew I was the wolf here. She looked at me, smiled, and told me, “I can almost feel you pulsing through the screen. Let me do it now.” I shook my head, explaining, “I would love to, but Chloe’s in the shower, and I’m not putting her through that torture. Plus, you’re not here to clean me up.” I got up and sat back down at my desk, adjusting the mirror so I could work on my hair.“ Luisa pouted, “It’s torture for me if you don’t do it. And, I can be there in five minutes flat if you want me to be. Talk you to your orgasm while I’m riding.”
“That’s pretty fucking romantic and I think everybody can agree that that’s really attractive,” I said, making the OK symbol in front of the camera. She laughed, glanced at the time at the top of her screen, and said, “I’ve got less than 45 minutes to finish getting ready, and I’m sure my mother is probably already going to ask questions. So I’ll see you later Maus. Love you.” She blew me a kiss, and I caught it before responding, “Love you too Moose. See you there.” I reluctantly hung up, putting my phone off to the side, and I started my hair. I brushed through it, and Chloe walked in ready to go. I asked for help because I was never good at these things. She finished brushing through it to remove the tangles and styled it. She lightly curled the ends of my hair and brushed it over onto my left shoulder while we talked about mine and Luisa’s plan to tell everyone about us. “That’s really romantic, and I’m sure everyone will be very surprised,” Chloe concluded, handing me a mirror to see my makeup and hair. She had pinned my hair to the side, and it was loosely draped over my left shoulder. I stared in awe at the image of myself, all primped and sexy looking, and thanked Chloe, “Damn. I wish I had your skills.”
I got up and hurried to get into my dress, which was red and made of silk. It was one of Chloe’s nicest dresses that didn’t fit her anymore. It was semi-form-fitting from my chest to my waist, where it fanned out into a flowy skirt. The dress cut fairly low, with a cleavage tease, and resembled a tank top with the straps. I looked at myself in the full-length mirror, twisting and turning this way and that to see how it fit. I turned around to find Chloe’s mother and Chloe standing next to each other, Chloe holding a pair of short heels for me to wear. “Oh, Beca! You’re just gorgeous! I’m sure Luisa will love it!” Chloe’s mother fangirled, wanting to hug me but not wanting to mess up my makeup or dress. Chloe handed me my heels, and said, “Shall we go?”
“Yeah. I don’t think I can be away from Luisa any longer,” I replied, making my way toward the door. I started down the stairs and only got halfway down with Chloe on my tail before Chloe’s mother beat us down, yelling, “Wait! I need a picture!” Chloe and I posed for a few photos, getting a few silly poses in, and then we made our way to the car that Chloe’s date was riding. Chloe still hadn’t told me who her date was, as it was going to be surprising enough. We approached the vehicle, and suddenly Pieter steps out, taking Chloe’s hand and kissing the back of it. “You’re not the only one who prefers baddies, Beca,” Chloe stated, sliding in next to Pieter. I was stunned, but climbed in, sitting across from them.
********
Everyone was there. All of the students and even some teachers were there, which will make for a great crowd once Luisa and I decide it’s time to make the great come out. We had an entire scene written out, it was going to be spectacular. I looked around for Luisa since she just texted me she just arrived. I scanned the crowd entering through the door and finally came upon my girlfriend. Damn, she made her androgyny noticeable. She was wearing a white polo with a black tie and a black blazer that was purposefully a bit short. Her matching pants were fairly tight, and she wore the greatest pair of Oxfords I’ve ever seen. She had her hair pulled back into a bun, and she allowed a few strands to frame her face. Pieter and Chloe walked over and greeted her, Chloe whispering something to her about me. Luisa glanced over to me, licked her lips, and mentally sent me repeats of our little sexual escapade from an hour ago. I received them with shocking clarity and felt heated. She noticed my body reactions and continued to tease me from across the room. I saw her hands twitch and felt like she was mentally touching me, which elicited physical responses.
Her little game of driving me to insanity with her gaze and movements of her hands continued until the principal greeted everyone. “Hello, Graduates! I hope you’re having fun so far, but I’d like to say a few words to you before you get all dirty on the dance floor,” he started. His speech was long and boring, but everyone was paying attention. I glanced over to Luisa, who was across the room and nodded. She saw me and nodded back, signifying the start of our little show. I started to walk toward her like I didn’t want to be noticed, looking down at the ground. She walked toward me like she was getting some refreshments from the table I was standing at. After a few more steps, we collided with the other, and I was sent spinning because she bumped me in the shoulder. She snagged a hold on my wrist before I could fall, and pulled me up, yelling, “I told you before Maus, stay out of my way!” This caught everyone’s attention, which is what we planned. Even the principal, who was in on the plan, stopped talking and watched our interaction. Luisa furiously dropped my hand, and I started babbling awkwardly, “I-I’m sorry, Kommissar! I-I didn’t see you!” Luisa stepped closer to me, making everyone think she was going to pummel me, and she sneered, “You better watch next time, or else I might not be able to control my temper.”
I stared up at her in fake fear, and stumbled, “O-Okay. I’ll be more careful.” I was shaking to make this encounter more believable, and everyone bought it. They all looked concerned for me, but some looked ecstatic that this rivalry hadn’t died. Luisa took another step towards me, our bodies almost flush, and shouted, “You better be, because I’ve missed you!” This confused everyone, and Luisa and I smiled at each other before I finished, “God, I love you!”
“I love you more,” Luisa retorted, placing her hands on my waist.
“Not possible,” I whispered before I jumped up and, like a French couple after an argument, kissed Luisa passionately. Luisa held me up by my waist and kissed me back. There was a collective gasp from everyone watching, even Pieter gasped, but Chloe squealed, “They’re so cute together!” That was her only line in this scene, but it confirmed what everyone was thinking. My arms wrapped around Luisa’s neck, her arms around my waist, and our lips against each other’s created the perfect coming out of our relationship. Especially since I haven’t been able to kiss her since I saw her half an hour ago. Luisa spun us around a few times before putting me down, still holding my waist. Luisa laughed when she saw my lipstick was smudged, and fixed it, rubbing the lipstick off her own lips. Everyone went from silence to cheers and screams when we were back on the ground, and they all headed to the dance floor to dance off their surprise. Luisa and I stood there, gazing into each other’s eyes for a while before we started to dance to the beat of the obviously sexual American electronica.
We were occasionally asked questions on how long we’ve been dating, what we were going to do when I went back to America, and why we didn’t say anything earlier. The answers were as follows: We’ve been dating the whole year but made it official about a month ago. Luisa’s parents have allowed her to stay with me for half the summer before she has to come back to go to university, and once I explained the situation to my dad, he’s going to allow me or her to make a bi-monthly flight to the other’s country and spend a week with them. Luisa’s parents agreed to the idea, and they even offered to pay for my first flight back here. Of course, we would still call and video chat when we could, but they understood it was nice to see the other in person once in a while. We didn’t say anything earlier because we hadn’t worked out what we were going to become or what we were going to do while we were halfway across the world. But honestly, with the appraise we got for being one of the only same-sex couples in school, I wish I had done this sooner.
********
The excitement died down about two hours later, and Luisa and I were slow dancing to the typical cliche song, “A Thousand Years” that Luisa sang for me that time in Music class. Luisa held my left hand in her right, and I leaned onto her chest, memorizing her heartbeat for when I left. The combination of the sweet lyrics and soft beat of Luisa’s heart were hypnotic to the point where I was getting tired. I yawned against Luisa’s chest and nuzzled my head closer. She kissed the top of my head and rested her head on mine. Nothing ever felt so comforting. “I love you, Luisa.”
“I love you too, Beca.” By then, I was half asleep and Luisa could feel it. She picked me up bridal style and sat down at one of the nearby tables with me in her lap. I laid against her chest, breathed out, and kissed her neck.
“Oh Meine Sleepy Maus.”
Notes:
Let me know if you want me to write anything. Prompts and Feedback are always helpful.
Chapter Text
Graduation was yesterday. I leave the day after the next, but I’ve already started to miss people. Chloe has been distraught for the past few days, and no matter how hard I try to comfort her, she occasionally cries when she sees me. She already knows I have to leave, but she doesn’t want me to leave. I don’t want to leave either. There’s nothing waiting for me back home. No best friend like Chloe, no family like the Beales, and particularly, no potential lover like Luisa. I say potential because even after these nine months, I still haven’t told her I love her. I’m still going to tell her, but I think it would be pretty pointless. She might not love me back, or she might just want to stay the friends with some benefits, or possibly even worse, she actually loves me back and wants to be something more. What would I do? What would I say? Face it, Mitchell, even if she does love you, there’s almost no guarantee the two of you would last. You live on almost opposite sides of the world. There are so many problems already with just that. The time difference, the lack of physical affection (which we both are keen on), and the simple fact that it’s a long distance relationship. Those are stressful enough as is. Not to mention we both have college ahead of us.
We would be so absorbed in our studies, we might completely forget we were even dating. But how could I forget Luisa? She’s so beautiful and so funny, and so caring, I don’t know how I could live with myself if I let go of someone who had such a big role in my senior year? Sure, she started out as my bully, but she opened up to me that night, and I never forgot what she told me. I never will forget the sullen look in her eyes as she told me. I never will forget the tears she was willing to shed in front of me. I never will forget that she trusted me. She trusted me. Trust. Is that we’ve had? Trust? Trust in the other person to help console us. Trust in the other person to not take our kisses and cuddles too far, leaving us in an awkward situation? Yes we did, but I have to admit, she did seem to take some pleasure in cleaning my vagina with her tongue that one time. Not that I minded, it only fueled more fantasies of her. I think she knew that though. God, why am I stressing so much? I’ve never been this nervous to do anything, but now that it involves Luisa, I’m a bowl of mush. I’m so pathetic. “You’re not pathetic, Bec. You’re simply over thinking things,” Chloe’s mother had walked in on my pacing and rambling.
I didn’t stop my pacing, but I did look to her. She was standing just inside my door, and she was holding my outfit for the dance, which was a few hours away. She laid the dress and heels down on my bed and walked over to me. My face was extremely red with anxiety, and I was breathing faster than normal. Chloe’s mother stopped in front of me, hands on my shoulders, and hugged me tightly, squeezing my worry away. “There’s no need to worry, Beca. It will go one of two ways. She’ll either love you back, or she doesn’t. Either way, the world will keep spinning, and while you may be heartbroken or the happiest person alive, you must keep going on living your life. I know all you’ve ever wanted was to be loved, regardless of who it is, which translates to pansexuality, but that’s a different conversation. It may seem hard, but you have to love in order to be loved, so if you love her so much to get this worked up over telling her, then there’s a chance she loves you the same. I saw that the day I met her. There was an inflection in her eyes, and her actions when she kissed and hugged you. Just so you know, it’s pretty atypical of friends to be so comfortable kissing each other,” she finished, letting go of me. I looked at her, exhaled a deep breath, saying, “Thanks, Mom. That really helped.” I was actually thinking, ‘It’s also pretty atypical for friends to lick each other clean after one masturbates’ but I was definitely not telling her that.
I sat on the edge of my bed, buried my face in my hands, and breathed deeply a few times before I looked up at Chloe’s mother. “Let’s do it.”
********
I walked around the refreshments table, pretending to look for something, and waited for Luisa’s text that she had arrived. I told her to text me when she got here, and she always let me know of such information. I thought over what Chloe’s mother and I had planned out for me to tell Luisa I love her, and I realized how convoluted it is. We planned out a scavenger hunt for Luisa to follow to most of the places we were together. I remember what the first clue was, and when she received it from her parents. Right when she was just about to walk out the door was when she was to get the clue, “Luisa. This is the first clue to a special scavenger hunt planned out just for you. Your first stop is one that is unexpected, but you’ve been there enough times to understand how to get in through the window. You don’t need to do that. Just meet my mother again, and you’ll have your next clue.” I can imagine her reading the clue, and shaking her head as if she knows it’s me. Then suddenly, I get a video call from Luisa. I answered, and saw her sitting in a car wearing the most adorable blue dress and a flower crown in her hair.
“Hallo, Maus. I have gotten your first clue, and I’m heading to your house now,” she greeted, showing me the piece of red cardboard that was oblong shaped with one side lined with a bit of black lace. I walked to a quiet corner of the dance, and laughed, “I see you’re not having any trouble finding your way.”
“Well, you could’ve been less obvious about where I am to go. I still love it though.”
“Thanks. Wait until you finish. Then you’re in for a surprise.” She gave me a curious look, and I saw a glint of mischief in her eyes before her car stopped. She got out of the car, still video calling me, and walked up a familiar walkway. She climbed three small stairs and rang the doorbell. I knew she made it to my house because I heard Chloe’s mother’s distinct voice say, “Luisa! You made it! And you look absolutely stunning.” I saw Luisa hug her, and I said, “I definitely think so.” My comment made Chloe’s mother jump, and she looked at Luisa’s phone, scolding me, “Beca! Don’t do that to me! Give me some warning.” She turned back to Luisa and handed her another oddly shaped piece of red cardboard lined with black lace. “Keep all of the pieces you collect. They will come in handy later,” Chloe’s mother told Luisa before she waved goodbye, Luisa heading back to her car. As she walked she read the clue, “You’ve made it to your first stop, but don’t think it’s going to be that easy. Recently, we’ve had a favorite place to visit on our late night treks, but that doesn’t mean it’s all child’s play.” Luisa mimicked thinking for a second before telling her driver, “To the playground!”
“Damn, that was one of my more clever ones!” I said, keeping track of how close she is to the finish. She laughed and looked out of the window to pass the time. I took this time to text Chloe for the next phase of the plan. She’s getting close, Chlo. Time for Phase Two: Attention.
Got you Becs. Go to your station and I’ll alert every one of the plan.
I had no doubt in my mind Chloe would pull through for me, so I left the dance, which was in the gym, and I headed to Luisa’s final destination. I looked back at my screen and saw Luisa getting out of her car, walking over the mulch and finding the next clue, which I fittingly hung from the swing set. She read the next clue, “One step closer. All along, I believed I would find you. Darling, don’t be afraid of these cliche lyrics, but if you recall, you sang them to me at your next stop.” She looked at me, and told me, “You’re lucky I can’t get to you right now.” I smiled smugly and continued down the hallway. A few seconds later, I heard a massive “Awww!” resonate from the gym, and I knew Chloe had done her part. Luisa must have heard it because she asked, “What was that?” as she was walking into the school. She was obviously downstairs and heading to the Music room where she was to find her next clue. She came up to the door and pulled the clue off the wood. She leaned against the wall next to the door, and read, “You’re nearly finished, Ace. Two more points and you’ll win the match. But you may want to change in next destination.”
“As if that could be any more obvious?” Luisa pointed out, making her way to the locker room. Luckily, the locker room was also downstairs so she couldn’t see me waiting for her to finish. “Well, I didn’t exactly want you to be lost or thrown off course, now would I?” I proposed.
“No, that would not work for whatever you’re trying to accomplish with this.”
“Precisely, Moose. Precisely.” She laughed and opened the door to the locker room. She walked around for a while before she turned to her locker and saw the next clue. “Should’ve guessed it would be here,” she said, lifting the clue from its place on the locker. She looked at me for a while and said, “This must be really important if you go through all of this trouble to tell me something I probably already know.” I glared at her through the camera, and admitted, “It is important, but I highly doubt you know what I’m going to tell you.” She shrugged, and read the clue, “Your final destination is not one that’s new as you see me there everyday, but the things said are anything but everyday conversation.” Surprisingly, she didn’t immediately walk out of the locker room and to the final place where I was waiting. She stood there for a second, confused. “I don’t get it. This is rather vague because there are many places we have awkward conversations and where I see you every day.” I knew I would get her with the last clue, so I had a hint on the back of the clue. But now, I’m waiting for her to turn it over and realize there’s a clue for the clue on the back. After a good five minutes, I decided to tell her there was a hint on the back, and that’s when it clicked in her mind. Her locker combination was enough for her to start out of the locker room and to her own locker. “I’ll be there in two minutes,” Luisa confirmed, hanging up.
I freaked out, and hurriedly texted Chloe. Go now! She’s on her way! She’ll be here in a minute!
On the move now. Be there in two.
I breathed in relief, and put my phone away, hearing the clicking of heels on the stairs. I straightened my dress out and prepared for probably one of the most emotional moments in my life. Finally, Luisa reached the top of the stairs and came around to stand in front of me. We were wearing opposite colors and opposite dresses. I was wearing an ankle length red silk dress that had straps, but not spaghetti straps or sleeves. She was wearing a knee length blue satin dress that was strapless. My hair was down over my left shoulder, and her hair was up in a bun with a flower crown. We both wore heels and red lipstick, but that was all the similarity we had. Chloe and everyone else from the dance had arrived and surrounded us like they did that day at the end of December. Luisa looked around confused, and asked, “What’s going on, Maus?” I took a step toward her, and told her, “I’ll show you.” I proceeded to take the clues she held in her hand, and place them on the locker since I attached magnets to the backs of them. Everyone was just as confused as Luisa until I stepped away, and she said, “It’s a puzzle. But one piece is missing.” Sure enough, there was a piece missing in the center that was heart shaped.
I took Luisa’s hands in mine, stared deeply into her eyes, and began to confess, “Luisa, throughout this entire year, you have tormented me to almost no end. Whether it be physically, emotionally, and yes, even sexually. But through all of that, I somehow saw the sweet, caring, and kind person beneath. And it’s because of that person that I’ve found myself. In finding myself, I’ve realized that I—”
“I know, Maus. I’ve known the entire time,” Luisa shushed me, placing her finger on my lips. I was confused until she explained, “I know you love me, Maus. I’ve known since New Year's. But I figured you’d tell me sooner. I’ve been dying to tell you I love you too.” She cupped my cheek, and stepped closer to me, “I love you Beca.” She kissed me lovingly and passionately before she pulled away. I was so shocked I could only stammer, “W-W-What do you mean you knew the whole time? I didn’t tell you before now.”
“Well, you weren’t exactly cryptic about your attraction to me, especially calling me ‘a gorgeous specimen’.” I was completely fed up with her sarcastic tone in this situation, and I told her, “Kiss my ass.” Immediately she kissed me firmly on the lips. Everyone around us was more confused than they were when this escapade started, and I asked Luisa, “Why did you do that?”
“You told me to kiss your ass.” We stared at each other for a moment before we burst out laughing and so did everyone else. I leaned up and kissed Luisa, wrapping my arms around her neck. She kissed me back, holding onto my waist as she pulled me against her. We only stopped kissing for a second. “I love you, Maus.”
“I love you too Moose.” Our lips touched again, but this time with the full passion and love of a real couple. Everyone cheered with excitement, unlike the time they nearly cheered for us to fight not even six months ago. I didn’t pay attention to them anyway because I was reveling in the feeling of Luisa’s lips against mine in pure bliss, harmony, and perfection. The way Luisa was kissing and holding me now was a new sensation I never felt before. Though I had to admit, I wish I had done this sooner.
“Why is there still a heart shaped piece missing from the heart, Beca?” Chloe asked, motioning toward the heart puzzle on Luisa’s locker. I looked to Luisa, and told her, “Because she had my heart the entire year.”
Notes:
Let me know if you want me to write anything. Prompts and Feedback are always helpful.
DalishElf on Chapter 1 Sat 15 Jul 2017 02:33AM UTC
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