Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

 The world around him was dark, fuzzy. He couldn’t grasp any sort of concept, was he even really there? He couldn’t see, touch, feel. His thoughts were empty and...was he floating? It felt like it. Or did it?

 And then a small gasp of breath and a loud wail caused him to solidify and he opened his eyes with a start.

 His eyes are blurry at first, and he feels scared. He’s sad, but not really. But overall he’s just really confused. His eyes adjusted and focused and he found himself looking at a baby. He paused, staring in awe at the small, crying child. Something pricked him in the back of his mind, a weird feeling, but somehow comforting. It pushed his earlier feelings to the back of his mind, still there, but not overwhelming.

 His eyes wandered away from the child and he finally saw the woman holding him. The mother, who looked extremely tired but oh so happy. A man stood at her side, a wide smile on his face and a look of love in his eyes as he looked at his wife and the baby.

 The scene before him put a smile on his face as well, a feeling of happiness and love surrounded him and another tingle hit the back of his head. He blinked in confusion, but his eyes focused back on the baby as he settled down and stopped crying, falling into a light sleep. And everything was silent for a peaceful, blissful moment.

 “So, what’s the little guys name?” A feminine voice piped up behind him and he jumped. He almost turned to see who was speaking but was stopped when a woman wearing a white coat walked past him.

 Wait, no, not past him.

 Through him.

 His hands went to his body in confusion, but he felt solid. He would have pondered it more but his attention focused back to the doctor’s question. The parents looked at each other, smiling, as the doctor waited with a clipboard. But before the name was even said, he knew. He already knew the boy’s name.

 “Thomas.” He said at the same time the mother did, but his voice was different. It was like it didn’t carry like the mother’s voice or even the doctor’s voice. He spoke the words, he knows he did, but they felt almost...hollow.

 The doctor wrote the name down and he took note of the fact that no one looked at him. No one had heard him. Or maybe they were just too caught up in what they were doing. So, as the doctor walked past him, he tried to gain her attention.

 “Excuse me, I was wondering-” He cut himself off when his hand, which was trying to tap her shoulder, actually went through it. He pulled his hand back and curled his fingers together several times, flexing them. The doctor continued on her way, as if nothing had happened.

 He turned around to see a desk with a glass of water. He reached over to try and pick it up, but again, his hand went right through. His eyebrows furrowed. He couldn’t touch anyone, no one could see him, and no one could hear him. He pushed down the feelings of panic and turned again to look at Thomas. He had a smile on his face as he slept, causing him to smile as well. All he seemed to be able to do was watch.

 So, he did.

***

 Late that night, he found himself alone with Thomas. The parents had put the baby’s bundled up form in the crib before heading to their own room. He watched them go, not feeling any sort of need to be away from Thomas. In fact, he almost felt like he couldn’t. 

 He leaned over the crib to get a better look at the little guy, sleeping soundly. His thoughts started to wander, however, and he found himself thinking about himself.

 There were some things he knew and some things he didn’t. He knew Thomas. That he was most certain. Heck, he was pretty sure the tingling in his brain was Thomas. Or at least, something to do with him.

 Like emotions.

 Morality blinked and it was as if a floodgate opened. He was now certain of the fact that he was tied to Thomas’ emotions. No, he technically was Thomas’ emotions. His eyebrows furrowed.

 Morality .

 That word echoed around in his mind and he had immediately applied it to himself. It felt right though, to call himself that. He now knew who he was--sorta, what he was kind of felt like something else altogether--but he was still so confused. About the why, the how, the nobody seeing or hearing or touching him thing. What was all that about?

 His thoughts were interrupted by another tingle and not a second later, Thomas started to cry. He peered back into the crib, the sight practically breaking his heart.

 “Aww, no. Don’t cry kiddo, you’re okay.” He whispered calmly, sending Thomas a soft smile. He reached in and picked him up, cradling him against his chest. He started bouncing his arms a bit and humming a soft tune that had appeared in his mind out of nowhere. But it seemed to do the trick as Thomas began to settle back down. The cries and tears stopped and Thomas looked up at him with half-lidded eyes.

 “There we go, now go back to sleep kiddo.” He smiled when Thomas’ eyes fully closed and a small smile appeared as he once again entered sleep. He carefully set the baby back in the crib, tucking the blanket around him a little more. He smiled at the boy, only for his mind to catch up with what had just happened.

 He had actually held Thomas. He talked to him and he listened. Thomas had even looked at him. Not to mention the fact that he also touched the blanket as well. Curious, he tried touching the small lamp nearby, but his hand just fazed through.

 What did this all mean?

 Thomas made a small, content sounding noise as he slept and Morality’s focus was once again back on him. He smiled as he watched him sleep on peacefully. He supposed it didn’t really matter right now.

 No, all that mattered was Thomas.

Chapter Text

 Thomas was now two years old and Morality still hadn’t thought much of who, or more what , he was. He tried his best to push those types of thoughts away, because all they did was mess with his brain and confuse him even more. Honestly, he was perfectly fine with how things were right now.

 Especially in moments like these, when it was just him and Thomas. The little two year old was currently coloring and talking adamantly to Morality. He listened with rapt attention. Ever since Thomas learned to talk, he was almost non-stop and the things he said were almost too cute for Morality to handle.

 Thomas was currently talking about a show he had been watching, Sesame Street, a show that Morality also loved to watch with Thomas. Mostly for the cool, colorful puppets, but the learning stuff was cool too. He was in the middle of talking about Elmo when his mom walked into the room. Causing Thomas to pause and focus on his mother.

 “Hey honey, who are you talking to?” Thomas’ mom asked and Morality tensed. Thomas, however, wasn’t fazed by the question at all.

 “My friend!” Thomas waved over to Morality’s general direction. The trait lifted his hand in a wave, even though he knew the mom couldn’t see him. Though, a tiny bit of hope rised up inside him when the mom seemed to look right at him. It was quickly squashed, however, when Morality realized she was looking past him. He let out a little sigh.

 “Aww, you got yourself a little imaginary friend Thomas?” She reached down to ruffle his hair before taking a seat on the couch. The word had made them both pause, but for different reasons. Thomas got up, abandoning his crayons and going over to his mom, head tilted.

 “Imaginary friend?” The mom blinked before chuckling.

 “It means, you have a friend only you can see.” She bopped him on the nose, causing him to giggle. “You must have quite the imagination to make yourself a friend, huh?” She smiled at her son.

 “Now, how about we watch some Sesame Street?” Thomas cheered and climbed up onto the couch next to his mom while she turned the TV on. Morality found himself staring at the mom, a sense of panic overtaking him.

 It was obvious as to what she was suggesting. He was imaginary, meaning he wasn’t real . She didn’t think he actually existed. But, he...he couldn’t just not be real. He certainly felt real, but then again, only Thomas could see him. And he lived in his mind half the time. But he could still interact with some things! That had to count for something .

 Right?

 The rest of the day passed by in a blur. Morality’s thoughts racing, becoming even more panicked. By the time bedtime rolled around, he almost felt ill with how much this was all affecting him. But he had a bedtime story to tell, so he did his best not to let his feelings show. It was easier said than done, but Morality liked to think he managed.

 Once he was finished with the chapter, he shut the book and set it back on the bookshelf. He sighed and looked down at Thomas, fully expecting him to be asleep. He was surprised to see the young boy staring up at him with wide eyes.

 “What’s wrong?” Thomas asked and Morality winced before trying to cover it up with a fake smile.

 “Nothing kiddo, I’m fine. Just go to sleep, okay?” He started to sink out, but something wrapped around his arm, stopping him. He looked to see Thomas with his two arms around his one. He was being looked at with pleading eyes and Morality’s smile dropped. He couldn’t lie, especially not to Thomas.

 “It’s...about what your mom said earlier. The whole imaginary friend thing.” He swallowed the lump in his throat when he saw Thomas’ eyes sparkle.

 “Oh yeah! You’re my imaginary friend!” Morality winced and Thomas stopped and gave him a confused look. Morality looked down. He knew Thomas hadn’t caught onto what his mom had been saying, not like he had. But it still hurt.

 “I’m not...I’m not imaginary.” He muttered softly, but he wasn’t even sure if he believed his own words. This whole thing was making him less and less sure and he hated it. He hated the feeling in the pit of his stomach, how his head hurt when he thought about it. He had to be real.

 He had to be.

 He didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt Thomas reach up and wipe a stray tear of his away. And now Thomas was looking at him with worry filled eyes.

 “Da? What’s wrong with imaginary?” Morality blinked and the usual feeling he got from being called Da didn’t show.

 “Nothing kiddo, it...it just means...” He paused. “If something is imaginary it means it isn’t real…” He trailed off again, looking off to the side. He really hated feeling like this.

 “But…” He heard Thomas start and he focused back on him. “But you are real!” Thomas jumped up in bed and Morality was almost floored with the confidence of which Thomas had said it.

 “You’re real.” And then, Thomas was hugging him. Morality froze for only a second before his own arms wrapped around the kid. He held on tight and more tears started to flow. Thomas seemed to notice because he pulled away enough to see his face.

 “Why are you still crying?” Thomas asked, still worried. Morality laughed and pulled Thomas back into a hug, of which the boy returned.

 “Don’t worry kiddo, these are happy tears.” He heard Thomas give a little ‘Oh!’ before suddenly being hit with a wave of happiness and relief. The hug lasted a few more moments before Morality pulled away.

 “Alright, it’s time for bed for real this time.” Thomas groaned, but plopped back down into bed. He was getting ready to sink out, before he felt something snag his shirt. He looked down to see that Thomas had grabbed it.

 “Yeah, kiddo?” He smiled and Thomas pointed to the book Morality had put away.

 “One more chapter?” Morality looked from Thomas to the book before letting out a little laugh. He went over and grabbed the book again.

 “Alright, but this is the only time.” Thomas nodded rapidly, happy to get more story time. Morality started the next chapter, with a little extra fire in his heart.

 Because he was no imaginary friend

 He was real .