Chapter Text
Jeremy let out a huff as he tried very hard not to focus on the strip of skin showing from where Jeremy’s huge XL triforce shirt rode up on Michael's hip while he slept in Jeremy’s bed, head nuzzled on his lap. They'd been dating for a while but he felt awkward when it came to physical stuff. It wasn't that he didn't think about Michael that way, it was more he thought of it too much. He couldn't help wonder what Michael gripping his head must feel like or if he'd be willing to have sex, how far they would go. He can't help it much, especially when he could probably get a yes to his fantasies if he asked but, what if he went too far or did the wrong thing or pushed Michael into doing something he didn't want. He could never forgive himself if he did that.
He groaned as he rolled away from the dozing boy. He just wanted to bury his feelings and forget before he did something stupid. He looked up at his alarm clock to see it was barely passed 3 with a small groan as he accepted he was stuck in early morning limbo since he woke up from them falling asleep in a tangle of limbs over an hour ago. He flipped back over on his right side to see Michael spooning his discarded cardigan, drool shining his lip. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of him, snaking his arms back around him cautiously to not disturb him. Jeremy hugged his boyfriend, nuzzling his neck. The soft smell of detergent and cinnamon clouded his senses as he placed a light kiss on the darker boy's earlobe. He heard Michael let out a hum in his sleep, smiling as he squeezed his boyfriend softly. He could have this for now at least. This was good and calming. It reminded him that they were really dating, gave their relationship validity in his messy brain.
Jeremy remembered when he'd tense up just feeling Michael's head on his shoulder. He wanted to go to his past self and just yell at him for being such a clueless bag of hammers. Course, he was still overthinking things even now, at the ass hours of the night. He was so lucky that Michael had the patience of an immortal god or his slow ass would've been left to rot in social inept hell eons ago. Michael's been so willing to let Jeremy ease himself into being comfortable with them both being boyfriends, never once attacking him for his over sensitivity or his fears. Maybe a joke about being nervous about making out around their friends but nothing that was meant to hurt. He just got lucky he supposed. Of course they were both flawed and messy but he liked that about them and his friends too. He let that thought sink in as he leaned against Michael's shoulder, hoping sleep would come before he went down a dark mental path or something.
Of course, life was too cruel for that. He ran fingers through hair until Michael began to make a soft distressed groan, clutching at Jeremy's loose nightshirt. The sleeping boy was muttering and his eyelids were fluttering insanely fast, so Jeremy was certain he was still sound as a rock, but he was shaking and squeezing him like he needed to be anchored. The lanky boy quickly wrapped his arms around Michael's shuddering torso, stroking his back as he laid his head against his neck, hearing Michael's racing pulse and short breaths.
“It's okay, Micah, it's okay. You're still here.” Jeremy was barely whispering in his ears, hoping he'd stop shaking if he felt safe enough. He could almost see them in the bathroom of the school dance their friends had dragged them to, could see him clutching Michael as he wept, so afraid of what people thought when Jeremy used to think no one could ever scare him. He tried to ignore the ache in his heart as he shushed the demons that plagued his lover’s dreams enough to get his pulse steady and his body still. The boy still had an iron grip on him, but that was better than trembling in his sleep.
Jeremy probably wouldn't ask if he had a nightmare. Michael wouldn't want to face whatever was haunting him and he would never force him to. They'd been through enough. The stress of getting into the same college by the end of the month was overbearing enough for the weekend. He would hope the nightmare would just fade away with his stupid mixed feelings and their lack of certainness as a physical couple. Well, that wasn't true. Jeremy and Michael both wanted to be physical they were just scared to initiate it basically. Yeah, they were nervous about it cause they were inexperienced and horny and dumb.
Like teenagers.
Jeremy would just ask someday or Michael would. Well, Michael confessed after Jeremy broke it off with Christine cause she was ace and he finally realized he had less of a crush over her and more of just an overwhelming joy of her cause by the fact that she was a girl who was both nice and sweet to him while not using him for her advantage. They were a good trio of friends though. And this thought process just diverged him from actually working to get the courage to ask Michael when or if he wanted them to be physical and/or get busy. Without joking about it or being easy to misconstrued. He could do that. Jeremy kissed Michael first, after all, that should mean he has some agency, right? At least at some point.
The lanky teenager just sighed, dragging his fingers through short, dark hair again as he felt a long sigh of breath pass his shoulder as Michael shifted in his arms. He glanced at his alarm clock and saw it's 4:23 in the morning. Great, he can't even have a mental chuckle it's so early. He just lets out a huff, turning to his bedside table and taking his phone and headphones while trying not to move too much. He quickly puts on This is: Andrew Bird on Spotify and watches Michael shift and nuzzle him again with a tired smile. He hopes the sun will rise faster than it ever has so he can watch his eyelids flutter and kiss him as his warm eyes go from dull and confused to bright and brimming with love, the way Michael should always look. He closes his eyes as the triplet drum beat and electric bass and guitar blend with a violin as Heretics plays in his ears, leaning his head on the sleeping boys before finally finding sleep.