Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1:

“Yoongi ah, Hyung is leaving now!” Jin rushed over to give a quick hug to the sleepy man, who allowed the contact, half-heartedly returning it by patting Jin on the back lightly.

“Yeah yeah, enjoy your exchange, how many times are you going to say goodbye?” Yoongi waved him off, making Jin pout.

“It’s just that I’ll miss you!”

“Yah, did you bring candy? You get motion sickness right?”

“Ah… I forgot…”

Jin watched with a fond smile as Yoongi retreated back into his room, dragging his feet tiredly to get candy for him. He knew that his younger friend showed concern in a quiet way, and appreciated it a lot. Yoongi reappeared with various types of candy in his hand and promptly stuffed them into Jin’s cardigan pockets.

“Thanks,” Jin grinned. “Okay, you can go back in and sleep now, you look like a zombie! And don’t forget, Namjoon will be coming over later okay? Make sure to eat your 3 meals and get some sun even when I’m not around!”

“Arasso, just leave, Mom…” Yoongi yawned.

“Okay, I’ll text you lots!” Jin beamed and blew a kiss, then grabbed the handle of his suit case and finally went out the door.

Yoongi blinked blearily, locked the door and went back into his room. His roommate- well, more of apartment buddies, really- got selected to go to France for an exchange semester. And Jin’s friend coincidentally was transferring over to their university from America last minute and had no place to stay, so Jin offered this ‘Namjoon’ his room while he was gone. Part of the reason, Yoongi knew, was that Jin was afraid that he would forget to eat or shower while he worked on his assignments and songs.

He would have liked to say that his roommate was exaggerating and being a mother hen, but then Jin had found him in his room unconscious after he went for some leadership camp that took 3 days. It was a big hoo-ha, with all the hospital stay and IV drips and being scolded by the doctor and then by Jin.

Namjoon was a Korean American, and Jin had assured him repeatedly that Namjoon was safe, he could speak Korean, and there would be no problems about living together. And Yoongi trusted Jin, but the repeated assurance and the way Jin would halt and consider made him a little nervous… like there was a vital piece of information he thought of but didn’t want to mention.

Whatever, he needed to sleep. He could think about it when he woke up.

Snuggling back into bed and hugging his large kumamon plushie, Yoongi drifted back to sleep.

Yoongi DID NOT expect to be woken up by the loud sound of glass hitting the floor, and he jolted awake immediately, instantly reaching the conclusion that he was being robbed. Oh god, was he going to die? He would rather die in his bed than on the hard corridor floor, so maybe he should stay- No, just get up and check, idiot.

Psyching himself up, he grabbed the nearest weapon he could find (a lamp) and opened his door slightly, checking the coast. Deeming it clear, he snuck his way over to the kitchen, following the sound of quiet curses.

Yoongi blinked at the sight of a tall, blond man groaning and kneeling down next to shards of glass, hands covering his face.

“What?”

“Huh?” the stranger looked up, startled. “Oh! Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I tripped over the chair leg and hit this when I was flailing for balance and-“

“Who are you?” Yoongi cut in, feeling irritation seep into him now that the fear was gone.

“Ah, I’m… Kim Namjoon. Um, Jin hyung’s friend?” he introduced awkwardly.

“Yah, you… GODDAMMIT, that’s fucking expensive!” Yoongi growled once he recognized that it was his coffee maker that was damaged beyond repair. It blended his coffee PERFECTLY. It made the BEST COFFEE.

Namjoon flinched. “Shit, I’m really so sorry… I’ll get you a new one!”

“Just…” Yoongi sighed, the flash of fear in Namjoon’s eyes (like fear of being kicked out) made him deflate. “Just get up, stay away from the glass, it’s dangerous.”

“Ah… yeah, okay…” Namjoon stood up, backing away from the mess, looking awkward and out of place. “I’m really sorry…”

“How many times are you going to apologize?” Yoongi snapped, feeling drained and sleep deprived as he fetched the broom and dustpan.

“Ah, so- I mean, I’ll sweep it up!” Namjoon offered enthusiastically, wanting to redeem himself even slightly.

“’Kay, the dust bin is over there,” Yoongi jerked his thumb roughly to a spot behind him. He did not have the energy to deal with this right now. He left the kitchen quickly, leaving a confused and worried Kim Namjoon behind.

“Great first impression,” Namjoon muttered bitterly to himself, sighing as he swept up the glass shards. “Why can’t I do anything right?”

He had been trying to find a place to stay in Korea near his university, but all the dorms were full and the apartments were all so expensive. He had been at his wit's end until Jin called him to catch up, and after hearing about Namjoon’s predicament had graciously offered him a place to stay for free that was just 15minutes walking distance away from his school.

He felt bad for taking it for free, but Jin insisted, saying that it was all thanks to Namjoon that he even made it through college and Namjoon refused any tutoring fee back then saying that they were friends. Jin also said he was rich and didn’t need more money anyway in an attempt to reduce his guilt, and Namjoon knew it because Jin didn’t ever flaunt his money and status. He never even found out that Jin was a young master until their final year together as high schoolers.

But now, he might be chased out of the house due to him breaking his new roommate’s prized possessions. At the very least, Namjoon was sure that Yoongi hated him now and wanted nothing to do with him.

He cleaned up the area and went back to the living room where his suitcase and boxes of belongings were left, sighing. Time to find his room and unpack… or maybe he should just leave them packed, just in case he had to leave.

Groaning, he explored the tiny apartment, opening one door to find the bathroom. There were two doors facing each other further down the corridor, and he gingerly opened one, in case he bothered his new roommate. Peering into the dark room where black curtains blocked out the entire window, he could see a figure with soft tufts of brown hair lying on the bed and gently closed the door again.

Yoongi must be sleeping… even though it was 3 pm in the afternoon.

Shrugging, he opened the next door and groaned as his vision was assaulted by the cream wallpaper and pink satin bed sheets, and rows of cute animal plushies surrounding the room. The entire room was the color scheme of a girly teenage girl. “Jin hyung…” he whined.

Well… the room was free. Namjoon tried to brainwash himself that the room was fabulous and a lot more than he deserved. He sat on the bed, taking out his handphone to see messages from Jin.

Jin hyung:
Did you manage to find the place?

Jin hyung:
Yoongi might be grumpy since he hasn’t slept for 2 days, don’t worry if he seems angry, he’s cute and harmless. (Don’t tell him I said that)

Namjoon might agree with the cute part, but there was this aura around Yoongi… an aura that screamed ‘mess with me and you die’.

Jin hyung:
He’ll be fine once he gets some coffee ^^

Oh great… Of all the things he had to break…

He needed music. Music could always make things better and more bearable. He wanted to apologize again, but Yoongi didn’t seem to appreciate that. Maybe he could try to find that coffee maker at the nearby department store later.

It's really a bitch to not have something you want to do
I know that it seems pathetic
To not have a dream like everyone
"Everything's going to be alright if you go to university
And do as we tell you"
I believed in those words
But I'm living because I can't die
Just pass me the drink
Because I want to get drunk today
So please don't try to stop me
I don't mind the brand, it might be a luxury
For a person with no job to have a drink
Everything is changing but why am I still here
Everything is changing but why am I still here
Everything is changing but why am I still here
So far away, if I had a dream
If only I had a flying dream
Don't far away, if I had a dream
If only I had a flying dream

He found out about the rapper Suga(or was it Agust D now with his new mixtape?) in America, and the Korean rap had been so relatable, had given him a sense of comfort and nostalgia in a place he didn’t fit in. He had been so excited for his American college originally, but the language barrier, the ostracism, the bullying and social hierarchies had made him so weary that he decided to come back to Korea’s universities instead.

But even while he was here, he was a fuckup, and he hadn’t even told his family that he was back because he was afraid of disappointing his mother, afraid of his dad’s self-righteous anger that America was too big for him, that he couldn’t handle it and shouldn’t waste the money. His dad called him stupid, told him to go to a Korean university and just study law because music didn’t feed anyone. But he was idealistic, he was chasing his music career, he wanted to go to the land where rap music originated, wanted to have new inspiration because he was in a rut. He was young, he had hopes and dreams, but now they were all dashed.

Right, I'm living because I can't die
But I don't have anything I want to do
I'm in so much pain and loneliness but people around me
Keep telling me to regain my consciousness
I try to vent my anger but I only got myself
So what's the point of venting my anger
I'm scared to open my eyes every day and start breathing Even my friends and family are drifting away
I feel anxious as time passes by
It feels like I'm all by myself
I hope everything disappears when I'm alone
I hope things disappear like mirage
I hope things disappear
I hope my damn self disappears
I'm abandoned like this in the world
In this moment I'm drifting away from the sky
I'm falling

Namjoon:
Hyung… I might have to move out

Namjoon tried to push the tears back. He was so sick and frustrated of being useless. He couldn’t even make a proper first impression.

Jin hyung:
What?? Why???

Namjoon:
I broke Yoongi hyung’s coffee maker… I think he’s really pissed.

Jin hyung:
Oh no.

Namjoon laid down, throwing an arm over his eyes. His phone vibrated, and he lifted it to look at it.

Jin hyung:
Don’t worry, listen to me. Get Americano from Starbucks, and fried chicken from Grandma’s Diner and leave them on the table with a note as a peace offering.

Namjoon:
???

Jin:
Trust me! It’ll be fine :D

So here Namjoon was, in the kitchen writing a note with the fried chicken and coffee next to him, biting his lower lip.

To: Yoongi hyung

I feel bad about what happened, I’ll get you a new coffee maker soon, please accept my apology in the form of fried chicken and coffee.
Sincerely,
Namjoon

Okay… that was good enough, right?

He was surprised by the quiet footsteps that approached the kitchen, and he waited with baited breath as Yoongi appeared with half-closed eyes, rubbing one of them with oversized sleeves. Jin hyung was definitely right about cute.

“What’s all that?” The sleepy but distinctive voice asked.

“Oh! I-It’s for you, hyung.”

“Hmm?” Yoongi trudged over, brightening at the smell of chicken and the coffee. “Really?”

“Yeah!” Namjoon nodded rapidly.

Yoongi slid into the seat next to him, holding the Starbucks cup with two hands and lifting it to sip at it with a peaceful expression. Namjoon couldn’t help but smile at how soft Yoongi looked at that moment, with his feet in pink bunny slippers, legs dangling from the high chair. (It was probably a present from Jin)

“Have you eaten yet?”

The sound of Yoongi’s deep, but gentle voice broke him out of his trance.

“Oh yeah…” It was already 7pm.

“Let’s eat together,” Yoongi suggested.

“Ah… okay, thanks, Hyung,” Namjoon replied awkwardly, reaching out to grab a drumstick.

Yoongi started snickering, and Namjoon watched, surprised. He never expected to see Yoongi laugh.

“Pabo, you bought this didn’t you? Why are you thanking me?” Yoongi tore off a piece of the chicken, chewing with mirth. He eyed the note on the table, smile falling off his face as he read it seriously. It made Namjoon nervous again, watching Yoongi’s reaction carefully.

“Mm, I forgive you,” Yoongi nodded to himself, digging in with gusto. “Yah, this chicken is so delicious… I don’t think I’ve eaten it in months? Jin always tries to stop me from eating processed and fried food.”

“I’m glad you like it hyung,” Namjoon smiled with relief, lowering his tense shoulders. Phew. Maybe he could stay after all.

Yoongi hummed in acknowledgement, considering. “You can use whatever you want in the house, and whoever is free stocks up the fridge. Jin made a house work distribution list so you can take over all of his I suppose.”

“Okay.”

“I sleep at weird hours because I’m a night owl, so you might not see me in the day.”

“I like to sleep late and sleep in too!” Namjoon offered the information of himself rapidly, before wincing at himself. It sounded like he was desperate to find something in common with the older boy.

Yoongi eyed Namjoon and smirked. “Sure.” Wait until Namjoon finds at that his ‘weird hours’ was actually 6 am instead of 2-3am like other night owls. Namjoon flushed a light shade of pink at his own awkwardness, but Yoongi was too busy eating his chicken to notice.

Absentmindedly, Namjoon picked up another piece of chicken to bite into it, only to bite into the bone. Alarmed, he looked up to see Yoongi giving him a disgusted and confused expression. Then he realized…

He just picked up the bone of the drumstick that Yoongi finished eating and placed it in his mouth…

“OH. SHIT UH…” Namjoon’s face was wildly red now, and he was flustered. “Um, I’ll just… go and wash up and rest, I’m still jetlagged, so…” He tried to make his escape.

“Sure…” Yoong trailed off, still wide eyed.

Namjoon yelped as he tripped on the little step that separated the kitchen from the rest of the house. He groaned, more in embarrassment than pain.

“You’re a clumsy kid, huh?”

Namjoon looked up from his position on the ground to see Yoongi licking his fingers, a dangling bone in his other hand. He laughed awkwardly, reminded of the weird shit he just did (god he was such a failure in life), nodded, and quickly got up and scurried away, much to Yoongi’s confusion.

“Strange kid too,” Yoongi murmured to himself, taking a sip of his coffee.

Chapter Text

To say Namjoon was nervous was an understatement.

HE WAS ANXIOUS AS FUCK.

He was back as a second year in university. He missed the orientation camps in year one, missed all the socializing, and he knew ABSOLUTELY NO ONE in his year and course. Actually… he KNEW NOTHING about his course. He was studying music in America, against his mother’s wishes for him to become a lawyer, and for his father’s wishes for him to become a doctor, and now here he was…

Studying history.

That might sound boring to most people, but Namjoon was always interested in history. He liked to see things that no one could, predict what was going to happen next because history always repeats itself. And despite the lessons history offers mankind, people never learn. It was funny in an ironic kind of way at times, and at others, Namjoon just lost faith in humankind.

I mean, Donald Trump?

Namjoon had foreseen it, but it didn’t make him any less disappointed.

Other than that, Namjoon enjoyed learning about ancient civilizations, about the ways society shaped itself, of all the different cultures in the world. He loved the myths and the legends, of witchcraft and black magic, of entire empires that once were.

Okay… he was diverting from his existential crisis of being a friendless student.

He had even missed the first week of class due to the lengthy transferring process!! Well, granted that the first two weeks were lecture week and attendance was not marked, but still. Namjoon hated missing out on class and not knowing what was taught. It made him worried that he’ll see something he didn’t study come up on the exam. He liked to be prepared.

Trudging to his English lecture (they were compulsory for history majors since history was largely recorded in English), Namjoon resigned himself to sitting alone, dropping his bag down a little too loudly by accident, making him flinch. He tried to take as little space as possible as the sound echoed, making students pause in their chatting to look at him.

Did he look weird? Perhaps he should’ve dyed his bleached hair back to black… he felt self-conscious about it and tucked his hair as best as he could into his cap.

Suddenly, someone sat next to him, out of all the empty seats around. He turned to see this Korean boy with the widest grin he had ever seen, pearly white teeth gleaming with joy.

“Hello!” The boy said in heavily accented English, “My name is Jung Hoseok. You can call me Hope or Hobi!”

“Ah… yes, annyeonghaseyo,” Namjoon spoke in a faltering voice, confused.

“Oh! You can speak Korean,” Hoseok laughed, pushing through the conversation, “I wasn’t sure since your hair was blond! Are you any good at English? Do you mind if I sit next to you? To be honest I sat here because I got so lost the last lecture and I really need help.”

Namjoon blinked, trying to parse the rapid-fire Korean. This guy… Hoseok seemed like he might be good at rapping. Namjoon wasn’t used to Korean (after being in America for an extended time), especially hearing it being said SO fast.

“What’s your name?” Hoseok leaned in excitedly.

“Oh. I’m Namjoon, and you can sit here,” Namjoon forced what he hoped was a natural looking smile on his face. He hoped he didn’t botch this up, he could really use a friend, even if it’s just a casual one in one of his modules. “I would think I’m decent in English? At least I hope so, I just came back from America yesterday.”

“Daebak!” Hoseok exclaimed, and Namjoon smiled at the genuine surprise and impressed look on the other’s face. “For how long?”

“A little over a year…”

“Heol…” the guy made a sound of impressed surprise, “Oh! Then do you need my notes for last week? I’ll lend it to you… my handwriting might be a little bad though.”

“Really? That’d be great,” Namjoon breathed out in relief, loosening his tense shoulders.

“Give me your phone! You can return them whenever, just text me when you’re done!”

Namjoon handed his phone over without much protest, watching as the cheerful boy happily inputted his number. He took a better look at Hoseok. The raven haired boy could be considered handsome, especially with the confidence he exuded and the approachable smile that never seemed to slip off his face. Scientifically, it took fewer muscles to smile compared to frowning, but Namjoon always found it tiring to be smiling all the time when you didn’t feel like it. He had tried it in America, but…

People called it fake.

Hoseok didn’t seem fake, he seemed genuinely happy just to exist.

“And… done!”

A quiet vibration indicated that Hoseok used Namjoon’s phone to text himself to get his new friend’s number. Hoseok rustled through his bag, pulling out the lecture notes from last week. “Ta dahhhh, thank god I don’t pack my bag, here you go!”

“Thanks,” Namjoon accepted it gratefully, noting the notes in colourful pen across the printed lecture slides, along with doodles.

“That’s what our seonsaeng looks like,” Hoseok chirped, pointing out the little stick figure at the corner with an oversized coat, thick specs, and… shiny bald head? “His name is John Watson, so… Mr.Watson.”

“John Watson?” Namjoon exclaimed a little too loudly, just as the teacher entered the lecture hall. Mr.Watson coughed loudly, causing Namjoon to twist his head towards the front where a man in his sixties – god, his head really reflected the light- was smiling wryly at him with a dry look.

“That would be me. Would you like to share what you were talking about?” the fluent English made students turn around to anticipate Namjoon’s answer.

Namjoon flushed instantly at all the attention. God… he really fucked up again, Mr.Watson must think he was some arrogant dipshit. He opened and closed his mouth awkwardly.

“Oh, seonsaeng! Uh.. Mr.Watson!” Hoseok flashed a disarming smile at the entire room, speaking in Korean. “This is Namjoon’s first lecture, so I was just telling him about you!”

“Good things I hope,” Mr Watson fixed a level look on Hoseok, before staring at Namjoon. “But English in class, as much as possible please.”

“Yes sir, I’m very sorry if I appeared rude, I was just surprised by your name because I am a fan of Sherlock Holmes,” Namjoon said sincerely, his crisp English causing gasps and wide-eyed looks. He shrunk a little from the attention.

“No worries, I’m glad to have a student that doesn’t speak like a 3-year-old child,” Mr Watson chuckled. “John Harold Watson, actually. My parents were fans too.”

Namjoon smiled awkwardly as Mr Watson set up his powerpoint slides to begin his lecture, and the students whispered amongst themselves, eyeing Namjoon every now and then. Okay, now he DEFINITELY FUCKED UP, in trying to salvage his teacher’s impression of him, he had turned the entire student populace against him now. They’re so gonna hate him for being a teacher’s pet, for taking the module when he’s good in English, for-

“Your English is SERIOUSLY AMAZING,” Hoseok whispered loudly- Namjoon wondered why Hoseok even bothered to whisper- “Daebak. I am definitely sitting with you for every English class.”

Well. At least there’s Hoseok.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Exkuz… Ex…cushi…Ex…”

“Excuse me, Hoseok-ah,” Namjoon laughed as Hoseok’s face twisted along with his lips as he tried to get the pronunciation right. They were walking along the courtyard outside the school to get to the canteen for lunch. Like Namjoon had suspected, Hoseok was really popular. He said hi to someone literally every 5 minutes.

Hoseok groaned. “English is so hard.”

“It takes practice,” Namjoon said sympathetically, patting Hoseok on the back. “Why are you studying English then?”

“I knowwww….” Hoseok whined. “Just. I really like English songs, so I thought I wanted to understand the lyrics better. I’m so full of regret though.”

Namjoon laughed in surprise, he had never heard of such a reason. Hoseok pouted at his look of disbelief, pushing him lightly to show his displeasure. “Not everyone can be English gods like you!”

A protest was on his lips when Hoseok’s eyes lit up as he looked elsewhere. “YOONGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!”

Yoon…gi?

Namjoon looked in the same direction to find that indeed, the brunet was trudging along the courtyard. He wondered how someone could look so lifeless and zombie-like, but then Yoongi grinned and opened his mouth to-

“J-HOPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!”

Well. That was unexpected.

Hoseok grabbed Namjoon’s wrist, dashing over to meet up with Yoongi. Namjoon was too surprised by the fact that his new friend knew his new roommate to even protest, stumbling along. “Hyung! You just finished class too? Wanna grab lunch together?” Hoseok flashed his megawatt smile.

“Sure,” Yoongi glanced at his watch. “I’ve got the time.” He blinked up at Namjoon, confused. “You know-“

“Oh! He’s my new friend! Kim Namjoon. Namjoon, this is Yoongi hyung. You should have heard him in English class, hyung! Everyone was so surprised!”

“Really?” Yoongi smirked, eyeing Namjoon, who seemed visibly embarrassed.

“I’m not THAT good…”

“Heol, if you’re not good then I’m trash,” Hoseok held a hand over his heart and wiped fake tears from his eyes with the other. Namjoon had quickly learned that Hoseok liked to be dramatic, but he didn’t mind. It was hilarious and entertaining to watch, but it made him wonder how Hoseok was friends with Yoongi when their energy levels were the complete opposite.

“Yah trash, hurry up, hyung is starving,” Yoongi snickered, ruffling Hoseok’s hair and walking ahead.

Hoseok huffed, fixing his hair. “He knows I hate that! Rude. Let’s go Namjoon, we’ll just ignore him.”

“Who’s the rude one now,” Yoongi scoffed, but the mirth in his eyes betrayed him.

They got their food and settled down in a corner of the cafeteria, and Namjoon decided to finally ask.

“Um… so how do you guys know each other?”

There was a quiet pause. Yoongi seemed content to focus on his food, so Hoseok took the initiative to answer instead.

“Ah…” Hoseok smiled, and it seemed a little awkward. “Well, we used to date in high school.”

Yoongi froze for one second, not daring to look up. He tried to remain as natural as possible. If Namjoon was homophobic… was TOO curious about it… he was going to kick the blond man out.

And if Hoseok wasn’t supposed to reveal that, Namjoon didn’t know because Yoongi was apathetically stabbing at a piece of sausage, before placing it into his mouth and chewing slowly.

“You’re okay with that right?” Hoseok asked worriedly, belatedly realizing that he just came out for both him and Yoongi, looking between the two.

“Ah… yes,” Namjoon smiled to dispel the uneasy look on Hoseok’s face. However, he was both confused and curious now. Used to date? Why did they break up? How did they start dating? Their personalities seemed so different.

“We both entered the rap competition in our school. Hyung got first, and I got second. I was so impressed, so awestruck when I saw him perform, I wasn’t even mad. I asked him out right after the event ended, and he said yes.”

“Wow.”

“I know, I was surprised he said yes too,” Hoseok smiled, the smile lines crinkling around his eyes. “But I…” his smile fell. “I was too immature back then, I just asked hyung out because he was attractive. I didn’t even know how dating really works. I just did everything casually.”

“Right, he was always out partying even though I didn’t like it,” Yoongi complained with a joking edge in his voice, but Namjoon could tell that had been a big issue in their relationship. “We hardly even spent time together. You didn’t love me.”

Hoseok pouted, looking apologetic. “I said I’m sorry hyunggg.”

“You had enough love for yourself, so I sent you that Justin Bieber song.”

Love Yourself, Namjoon’s mind reminded him. Hoseok looked weary and guilty, but Yoongi’s face was carefully blank as he sipped from his straw. Hoseok fiddled with his chopsticks, pushing his rice about.

“But it’s in the past now,” Yoongi forced a small smile on his face, unable to take the depressing atmosphere and how down Hoseok seemed. It didn’t suit him. “Now we’re great friends.”

“Ah… thank you for telling me.”

Namjoon wasn’t sure what else to say, but he noticed how Yoongi reached under the table- to pat Hoseok’s knee- and Hoseok finally smiled again, though it wasn’t as bright as his usual smiles.

The rest of lunch consisted of Hoseok telling them lots of stories, about his trips, about his other friends, about the professors, etc, while Yoongi and Namjoon mostly reacted. He went to his next lecture alone, and when he went back to the apartment, Yoongi’s door was locked, and music played loudly.

Somehow… the closed door looked sad.

Chapter Text

Yoongi was lying sullenly on his bed, face buried in his pillow. It was hard to breathe, but that was better. It distracted him from crying. He hated crying. That’s the worst part- He thought he had gotten over it, thought he had fully forgiven Hoseok and moved on, but maybe a part of him was still hurting from what had happened. He hated seeming petty too, but what else could his behaviour be called when he had shamed Hoseok in front of Namjoon?

At the rap competition, it was the first time Hoseok noticed him, but Yoongi had known of Hoseok’s existence for a long time. How could he not? Hobi was the school’s most popular guy, especially with the way he livened up any situation he was in, with his cute and loud antics and wide smiles and aegyo.

Yoongi’s attention was stolen away whenever Hobi was around. He admired the “energizer bunny”, wondered about what made Hoseok tick since he boy was so different from himself. Sleepiest highschooler in the world, someone had called him. His friends called him Grandpa. He wanted to be reincarnated as a rock in his next life. They were so different.

It was amazing to watch the energy Hoseok brought into a room. It was undeniable that he was attracted to him, the way he would stop and watch him every single time, and soon his friends caught on. So when the school announced that there would be a rap competition, his friends egged him on, nudging him into joining so that Hoseok would notice him.

It was Jimin and V that convinced him to dye his hair a pretty mint color so that he would stand out, because apparently, his black hair was too dull and dead to attract someone like Hoseok.

He didn’t expect it to work, and to actually win first place. Sure, he had been practising hard for months, crafting the perfect lyrics, lost quite a bit of weight but…

He was pretty SHOOK when he got off the stage, rushing back to the dressing room, clammy fingers held tight around the cold, gold trophy- it was the first time he had won anything, first time he had such a huge audience, screaming and cheering for him, that it was unreal.

What was more unreal was when Hoseok grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“Suga right? That’s a cute rap name, it sounds as sweet as you look!” Hoseok bounced on the spot excitedly. “Your rap was so cool!”

“Ah… thanks…” Yoongi replied shyly, surprised that Hoseok didn’t seem bummed out that he was second.

“I’m Jung Hoseok! You, um… you’re really pretty… what I mean is,” Hoseok laughed, taking in a deep breath to hold Yoongi’s hand with both of his own, “ Willyoupleasegooutwithme?”

Hoseok spoke in a rush, and Yoongi didn’t believe his ears.

“Yes…?”

“YES!!!” Hoseok cheered, face flushed, eyes bright with excitement, and Yoongi had never felt more in love, smiling shyly back.

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Things were great in the beginning. Hoseok texted him throughout the day, about everything under the sun, and although it was a bit much, Yoongi replied every single text as best as he could. His grades slipped a little, and he got scolded by his parents, but he didn’t mind being tired, he was in love.

They went on a few dates, and Yoongi could tell that Hoseok was a very physical person. His hand was always around Yoongi, and he was always trying to get hugs and kisses. Yoongi felt they were moving too fast, was uncomfortable with it, and told Hoseok as much.

Hoseok seemed disappointed, but had agreed to take it slow.

But after that conversation, Hoseok didn’t seem to be enjoying their dates as much as before, and he rarely asked Yoongi out.

Most of the time Yoongi ever saw Hoseok was when he was dead drunk, and his friends called “the boyfriend” to get Hoseok home. And he would dutifully do so… isn’t that what good boyfriends did? And he would make hangover soup for him, and leave a note telling him to heat it up when he woke up. And it didn’t seem right to stay overnight when Hoseok was drunk and touchy, so when Hoseok cuddled up to him drunkenly and tried to kiss him, he rejected him and just put him to bed.

“Hyung, are you really dating?” Jimin had whispered quietly in concern when they were having lunch on the school rooftop. He rarely saw them interact in school.

“Yes,” he replied quietly, staring at his food.

“Are you sure you’re not delusional?” Taehyung teased, receiving a slap on the arm from Jimin who gave him a warning look.

“He texts me all the time!” Yoongi protested, even though he was starting to have doubts himself. “Look!” He shoved the phone over, and Taehyung eagerly scrolled through the texts, Jimin looking over his shoulder.

“So many selcas of Hoseok… mm, and his food, and him with his friends… Hyung, do you two even have a picture together? Waaa, he seems really close with this girl…Isn’t she Jisoo? The queen bee of the cheerleading-”

Taehyung paused when he noticed the upset look on Yoongi’s face. He exchanged a look with Jimin. Taehyung sighed and mock slapped himself. Him and his stupid mouth.

“Hyung!” Jimin chirped, excited with an idea, “Your birthday is coming up soon, isn’t it! It’s the perfect excuse to go on a date! Ask him out!”

“Yeah,” Yoongi placed a smile on his face, appreciating his dongsaeng’s effort. “I will.”

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

March 9th.

Yoongi sat at the fountain, waiting for Hoseok.

Five minutes turned into an hour. His texts weren’t read. His calls didn’t go through.

One hour turned into three.

Yoongi went home.

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

March 10th.

“Yoongiiii I’m so sorry, I actually made plans before with Jisoo and forgot to tell you, and my battery died,” Hoseok pouted, giving puppy dog eyes. “Forgive me?”

Yoongi pursed his lips, turning pale with embarrassment, anger, and sadness as his friends realized what happened yesterday.

Taehyung was instantly growling, up in Hoseok’s face and grabbing his collar.

“YAH! What the hell do you mean by you forgot! What kind of shit asshole are you, forgetting your own boyfriend’s BIRTHDAY?!?!”

“B-Birthday?” Hoseok blinked, completely clueless.

“Taehyung, calm down!!” Jimin fretted, trying to pull Taehyung back.

“Calm down? CALM DOWN? THIS SON OF A BITCH-“ Taehyung’s voice died in his throat when he saw what Yoongi saw as well.

Hickeys.

All over Hoseok’s neck and shoulders.

“I-I can explain! I was drunk and-“

Yoongi wasn’t sure what happened.

The next moment he knew, he couldn’t breathe, he was squatting down on the floor, his vision was blurry with tears. Everyone was staring at him, and he wanted to stop making a scene, and he tried to even out his breathing but it came in short, rapid gasps. Voices sounded far away, and he could hear his rapidly thudding heart, and he felt so afraid and confused and devastated all at once.

He could hear Jimin, next to him, but sounding underwater, desperately calling out to him: “Yoongi hyung, please, please breathe, please… I’m here, Jiminnie is here, hyung….”

“Call the teachers, no, call the ambulance! Stay back! Stop looking at him!” Taehyung screamed, “I WILL FUCKING BREAK THAT PHONE!”

“Oh god, Yoongi! I’m so sorry!!”

“FUCK OFF! STAY AWAY FROM HIM!!”

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

He woke up in the hospital, tired. Park Jimin was next to him, holding his hand and crying, and Kim Taehyung was next to him, hanging his head, looking angry at himself.

“Oh god, hyung, you’re awake…” Jimin sobbed, throwing himself onto Yoongi.

“I’m so sorry… shit, I shouldn’t have told you to date the bastard… I…” angry tears filled Taehyung’s eyes.

Yoongi felt too tired to cry.

“Hyung must look so pathetic,” Yoongi mused, voice barely above a whisper.

“No, you just look…” tears finally slipped from Taehyung’s eyes. “You just look dead, hyung.”

“I wish,” Yoongi said dryly, causing Jimin to bawl even louder. He felt like a mess himself, his throat was scratchy, he couldn’t muster the effort to raise his arms to hug Jimin and comfort his dongsaeng, he felt so weak and lifeless. He was sure he was pale like Toshio.

“I’m going to kill him,” Taehyung hissed venomously, “I’m going to kill him!”

“Don’t,” Yoongi sighed. “I wasn’t a very good boyfriend to Hob-“ The nickname lodged in his throat, “- to that person.”

“What?” Jimin’s voice broke. “Hyung, you brought him home twice a week when he was drunk, you made him soup, you hardly reply our texts but you replied every single one of his, you…”

“I wasn’t good enough for him,” Yoongi closed his eyes, feeling heavy exhaustion wash over him. “I’m so tired…”

He fell back into sleep, not hearing the angry, tearful outbursts from both Jimin and Taehyung telling him he was wrong.

```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Yoongi didn’t ever see him, but Hoseok left flowers by his bedside every single day, with a different note of apology.

Then he was discharged, but he couldn’t muster the strength to go to school. Jimin and Taehyung visited him, brought him notes, tried to talk to him… but he couldn’t find the energy in him to reply them. It was like Hoseok had drained him dry of what little energy he originally had, leaving him an empty shell of himself.

Then Hoseok left the letters of apologies in his mailbox every day, and his parents would leave them outside his door.

Days turned into weeks.

Yoongi finally opened them.

To: Yoongi

I am so, so sorry.

I was immature, there is no excuse for the hurt I have caused you. I didn’t think about the effects my actions would cause on the people around me, and all I cared was having fun. I was thoughtless, and I played around without thinking of the consequences. It doesn’t matter that I was drunk, the truth is that I cheated. I am so useless that I didn’t even know the date of your birthday. I am a complete trash of a boyfriend.

Please, give me a chance to make everything right. I want to treasure you and love you like you deserve to be loved.

From: Your Hobi

Yoongi was tired.

But, he went to school the next day, flanked by Jimin and Taehyung, who tried to look as intimidating as possible to deflect all the stares he got. He made his way to Hoseok’s class, startling the boy.

Taking a closer look at Hoseok, he looked every bit as bad as Yoongi did. His eyes were red and bloodshot, his face puffy from crying, eyebags dark from nights of thinking with no answers, hair unkempt and clothes fitting loosely around his shoulder. It didn’t suit him. He looked nothing like the boy Yoongi fell in love with.

“Y-Yoongi.”

Silently, Yoongi held his hand out, passing Hoseok back his letter.

Hoseok took it with shaky hands to read the reply, and Yoongi realized, Hoseok really was being sincere about it, and people made mistakes, but… he was…

I forgive you, the neat cursive letters read, but this is the end. I’m tired.

Hoseok swallowed visibly, lower lip trembling as he tried hard not to cry. “I… I understand. Thanks… Yoongi. I’m sorry.”

Yoongi nodded, turned around and left, his friends in tow.

One night, he received what seemed like a drunk text from Hoseok, one that said “I love you”, so he texted back a link to Justin Bieber’s Love Yourself. After wallowing in self-pity and crying.

Hoseok apologized with a beet red face the next day.

They graduated a few months later, but ended up in the same university anyway. And ended up in the same social circle as they went to try out for the hiphop interest group. Hoseok looked so guilty the entire time that Yoongi asked him out for a drink to talk it over.

Told him that they were young, that people made mistakes, and if they weren’t meant to be boyfriends, what’s stopping them from being friends?

Hoseok gave him one those smiles that he once loved, and Yoongi finally smiled back.

And he really thought he was over it. They collaborated on a few songs together, shared a meal together every now and then. Hoseok joked a lot and was affectionate with simple touches, like patting his back or slapping him when Hoseok couldn’t breathe with laughter, but Hoseok never placed his arm around Yoongi, never hugged him or stayed too close for long. There was a quiet boundary.

It was clear that Jimin and Taehyung haven’t forgiven Hoseok, but they made their peace too knowing Yoongi wanted to let it be.

Yoongi made a muffled scream into his pillow.

“Hyung?! Are you okay??”

The doorknob was rattling suddenly, and Yoongi lifted his head to tell Namjoon that the door was locked, but-

SNAP.

“Oh. Shit.”

“…Namjoon?”

“Ah hyung! Uh… I might have… broke the door knob…”

Yoongi groaned, throwing his head back into the pillow and screamed again. Was Namjoon doing this on purpose?! Was he just cursed?? Why did Jin never mention anything about this?

“I… ah… are you locked inside? Should I call uh… call someone to fix it?”

“No!” Yoongi blurted out, getting out of bed in record time (he didn’t move this fast even if he was late), twisting the knob to unlock the door, swinging outwards.
“OW!”

Namjoon doubled over in his pain, stumbling and knocking his head onto Yoongi’s.

“AH!”

“Son of a motherfucking fucker what the fuck, I, shit it fucking hurts like a goddamn bitch why for the love of god are you goddamn standing so shitty close to the fucking door hell, I’ve never-”

A string of beautiful curses escaped from Yoongi’s mouth like a rap with 8 syllables per second as he squatted and held his head in pain with both hands. Namjoon looked awed even while he was holding his head, but more embarrassed as he rambled apologies just as quick.

“OH god I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to sorry sorry, oh, does it hurt, I’m so, so sorry oh man, sorry…”

Yoongi looked up through his pain- his eyes had tears- to see the tall blond man awkwardly holding the bronze doorknob in his hand, unsure of what to do and looking very worried. Yoongi briefly wondered if the house would still remain standing in a few days- what with Namjoon breaking one thing a day, it seemed. Maybe Namjoon would break Yoongi too. His bones, that is.

Grimacing, Yoongi tried to shake off the pain.

“Goddammit, just… just give that to me, I’ll fix it. Go get the toolbox from the storeroom.”

Nodding rapidly, Namjoon handed it over with no arguments, dashing for the tool kit. Yoongi heard Namjoon shout in pain, probably fell or hit something again, and sighed.

He examined the doorknob- pulled clean off the screws, and wondered how the hell Namjoon even managed to do that. Luckily, it seemed to be an easy fix. Yoongi didn’t even look at Namjoon, holding his hand out expectantly once he heard the gasping at his side.

One second passed, and Yoongi wriggled his fingers expectantly.

“Oh, uh, what do you need?”

“Screwdriver,” Yoongi rolled his eyes. It was pressed quickly into his palm, and Yoongi bent down a little to re-attach the door knob to the door. He hoped it wouldn’t be a dislocated arm into the socket the next time. He needed to talk to Jin about this.

Namjoon shuffled his feet awkwardly, watching as Yoongi held the little screws between his lips, eyebrows furrowed as he positioned the door knob back on. “Uh… hyung, are you okay? I heard you making weird noises.”

Yoongi felt irked for no reason, he didn’t want, or NEED Namjoon to know about his random fits of self-hatred. Mumbling, “Hold it,” Yoongi attempted to evade the topic.

Namjoon was quick to move, stubbing his toe against the edge of the door in his haste to hold the door knob against the door for Yoongi. “OW!” But still, he held on like a champion, blinking furiously to get rid of the pained tears in his eyes. His pain distracted him from whatever worries he had for Yoongi.

Yoongi only sighed, carefully screwing the doorknob back on.

“Done. Please,” Yoongi took a deep breath, trying to calm his frayed nerves, “Please just knock next time?”

Namjoon nodded furiously. “Ah, but hyung-“

Yoongi shut the door in his face.

“…what happened…” Namjoon trailed. He lifted his hand to knock but decided against it. It seemed like Yoongi didn’t want to talk, and didn’t trust him enough in the first place to talk to him. It makes sense, who would trust someone that destroyed a coffee maker AND a door knob in 2 days?

Namjoon couldn’t help but feel a bit lonely, however. He didn’t have many friends in Seoul, and he really wanted Yoongi to like him. Yoongi seemed like a cool hyung. Sighing, he wondered what he could do to get into Yoongi’s good books again.

Yoongi laid down stiffly on his bed, staring at the cutest bear in the world. He poked his Kumamon with a finger, looking at it like it held all the answers in the universe.

“Why am I like this?” Yoongi whispered.

It stared at him with its ever forgiving smile. Sure, maybe Yoongi was projecting. But still.

“Ah, so cute,” Yoongi couldn’t help but smile, reaching over to gather the plushie in his arms. He pulled out his phone from under his pillow, putting his earphones on lazily as he went to his self-deprecation playlist he always listened to when he felt bad and didn’t like himself. Rapmonster’s deep and comforting voice washed over him, and Yoongi sighed, settling into his soft pillow

pulled in just one glass of soju and felt it
living is consecutively awareness and loneliness
whether you have many people around you or not
the little me inside myself was always lonely
why is there no opposite word of loneliness?
could it be because people, until they die, have no moments of not being lonely?
even if our surroundings are boisterous,
it’s necessary to seek a moment to be alone
yeah that’s a life

Yoongi blinked blearily, feeling sleep pull at his eyes. He always fell in love before he knew it, and unfortunately, the people he loved wasn’t the one for him. Fortunately, or unfortunately for him, those people were great friends of his.

life, fall in love
life receives injuries from us and
is lonely because of the wind and
we wanna be right
but always wrong
were we born to be wrong?
is life something like that?
(in the end, for our whole lives we don’t know what tomorrow will be)
(even if we say we’ll tear this building down, we can’t avoid it)
we tryna be bright
but always dark
we still don’t know if we’ve lived to the extent that we can

Yoongi’s phone vibrated, and he lifted it up lazily to read it, half-asleep.

Kim Taehyung:
Hyung, I miss you. I’ll come by tomorrow, and you can’t say no ;)

Whatever, Yoongi scoffed. Taehyung knew where the spare key was. He didn’t reply and fell asleep.

Chapter Text

It was a Saturday.

And Namjoon wanted to sleep in.

But the doorbell was ringing with an annoying consistency, every 2 seconds.

DING DONG…DING DONG…DINGDONG…

He waited for a full minute. Whoever it was seemed to be very persistent. Groaning, he forced himself up, trudging over to open the door with half closed eyes. Namjoon scratched the back of his neck absentmindedly as he regarded the person in front of him.

“HYUNG!!!”

It was a boy with chocolate brown hair, hugging a bag of something and grinning up at him with a boxy smile, until- “Wait a minute, you’re not my hyung. You’re way too tall.” The handsome boy pouted, well, he was more cute than handsome, really. “Who are you?”

Rather rude, too.

“I’m Kim Namjoon, I live here,” Namjoon yawned, dragging a hand through his messy blond hair. “Who are you looking for?”

“I’m Taehyung,” Taehyung placed the easy smile back on his face, bouncing on his heels like an excited child on redbull. “Yoongi. You know him??”

“Ahh, he’s my roommate.”

“So it IS the right house!” Taehyung beamed, taking off his shoes and shouldering his way in past Namjoon. Very rude. He heard the boy happily call “YOONGIIII!!! YOONGI HYUNGGGGG~”

“Ah wait, he’s sleeping,” Namjoon called after him in vain, witnessing Taehyung fling open Yoongi’s door, set the bag on the ground, and leap onto the bed- right onto the figure curled up in the blankets like a burrito.

“What.“

Yoongi got woken up rudely. He blinked blearily at Taehyung, who was grinning down at him. “What time is it?”

“11am hyung~” Taehyung whined, hugging the cocooned figure. Seeing Yoongi close his eyes again, Taehyung hugged tighter, wriggling on top of the Yoongi-cocoon. “Wake up~”

“The number you are calling is unavailable. Please try again later.”

Namjoon had to hold back a laugh at the deadpanned voice that came from Yoongi. He sounded like a tired old grandpa who was too done with life to play with his excitable grandchild. At the same time, he was envious of how Taehyung seemed to break past all the invisible barriers Yoongi set. Namjoon would never dare to wake a sleeping Yoongi, or even enter his room, actually.

“Yoongi ah~” Taehyung was full-on aegyo mode now. “I missed you so much! Please get up for me?”

A grunt. Yoongi was immune.

“Yoongi, uri halmeoni made seolleongtang for you, because you’re always so dead,” Taehyung snickered. Yoongi visibly twitched at the sound of that, so Taehyung continued to speak in a lilting, enticing tone, “She cooked the whole day just for you, aren’t you going to wake up and drink it? Mmmmm, it smells soooo good!”

Yoongi made a show of sitting up in exasperation, like he would rather continue sleeping like the dead than drink soup, but no one was convinced. “Fine. Heat it up.”

“Arraso~” Taehyung cooed, impertinently pinching Yoongi’s cheek. “Aigoo, our Yoongi is as cute as ever. Aw, but you lost so much weight! Jin was right in telling me to check up on you.”

Yoongi looked up in disbelief. “You’ve only just not seen me for 2 weeks. How much weight can I lose? And that’s hyung to you, brat.”

“Just means you were too skinny in the first place,” Taehyung blanched and made a face. “Well I’m back, and I’m SO gonna fatten you up. Jin won’t even recognize you anymore.”

Leaving no room for protests, Taehyung skipped to the door, picked up the bag, flashed a grin at Namjoon, and skipped to the kitchen to heat up the soup. “Our Yoongi’s roommate, you can have some too!”

Confused, Namjoon tagged after Taehyung, leaving Yoongi his privacy to clean up. The sight was rather strange because Taehyung was moving about the kitchen with an obvious familiarity, humming a light tune under his breath like he lived there.

“So uh, you know Jin hyung too?”

Taehyung stopped to smile at him, then resumed unpacking the paper bag. “Yep! I came to visit often because I’m Yoongi hyung’s childhood friend, so I became friends with Jin hyung. I just entered K-uni. I’m actually sharing a dorm room with Jimin, uh, he’s Yoongi’s high school friend. So you’ll be seeing me often!”

Namjoon nodded, making some coffee by hand because… well, he broke the coffee maker. “You want some?”

“With LOTS of milk and sugar,” Taehyung beamed, pouring the soup into the pot to heat it up. It already smelled divine. “So well, we were worried about Yoongi coming to Seoul alone so we had a lot of weekend sleepovers! And Jin always welcome us with food and let us sleep on the couch, bless his soul.”

“I…see,” Namjoon nodded, handing Taehyung a steaming mug of coffee, considerably much lighter in colour than his own cup.

“Thanks!” Taehyung grinned, sipping the coffee, suddenly becoming serious as he eyed Namjoon, as if analysing him. With a light-hearted tone, he asked, “Namjoon-sshi, what do you think of Yoongi hyung?”

Namjoon blinked, confused.

“Uhhh… Well, he’s really good at fixing things, and he seems really smart and has his shit together (unlike me), and he can curse REALLY FAST like he’s rapping…”

Taehyung motioned with his hands, as if asking Namjoon to go on.

“Uh, I’ve only known him for two days, so…”

“Oh,” Taehyung chirped a little note, considering the fact with his eyes looking off to the side. “Hmm. Ok cool.”

His eyes slid back onto Namjoon’s with a strange intensity, unsmiling.

“Are you gay?”

Was this kid freaking bipolar or something? Wait, was he dating Yoongi? Was this Taehyung being possessive and jealous? Flustered, Namjoon gestured with his hands.

“Well, I, uh, guess I’m…I don’t like him! I-”

“Stop being rude.”

Yoongi’s crisp tone rang clear in the kitchen, and Namjoon was relieved when the presence of Yoongi made Taehyung revert back to being all sweet and puppy-like. And then he internally kicked himself because what if Yoongi took that the wrong way and thought Namjoon hated him? But Yoongi’s face was blank, if just rather sleepy.

“Just a few more minutes! I’ll get the bowls!”

Taehyung moved with such enthusiastic energy that Yoongi’s slow, grudging movements of pulling a chair to seat down was so contrasting, Namjoon had to hold back a smile. It was somewhat strange that the Yoongi’s friends(other than Jin), had so much energy.

“Black bowl for our grumpy Yoongi, red for Taehyung, the best friend ever,” Taehyung grinned and waggled his eyebrows, and Yoongi rolled his eyes, “and pink for our Namjoon!”

Best friend? Namjoon blinked, looking at Yoongi, who seemed content to just sit and stare into space. So they weren’t dating then?

Taehyung placed the bowl down in such a way that he was between Yoongi and Namjoon, but Namjoon didn’t really think much of it, sitting down with his mug of coffee. Taehyung soon returned with the pot on his mittens, placed it in the centre and lifting the pot with a gusto. “TADAHHH”

Namjoon’s mouth literally watered, that was how good it smelled.

“Ya, sit down, I’ll do it,” Yoongi reached out for the ladle, and Taehyung smiled up at him, knowing that was Yoongi’s way of being considerate, telling him to rest because he had a taken a long journey over from Daegu.

Namjoon also found out that Yoongi was considerate because he gave the biggest pieces of beef to Taehyung and Namjoon. Every single mouthful of the soup went down easily. It was the best soup Namjoon had ever drunk in his life. Mother of God. Jesus fucking Christ.

“I must have saved some country in my previous life to be able to taste this,” Namjoon let slip his appreciation, causing Yoongi to chuckle and Taehyung to chortle.

“Wow, you’re really poetic,” Taehyung slapped Namjoon’s back as he laughed. It hurt a little bit, but Namjoon just smiled back.

“Drink more, we need all the energy we can get as uni students,” Yoongi was scooping another ladle-full of soup into Namjoon’s empty bowl (he had been fighting the urge to get more as he didn’t want to be rude, but he must be so transparent with the way he fidgeted).

“Does Jungkook know you’re back?”

Taehyung nodded, “Of course, I texted him last night too. But I wanted to meet you first!”

Yoongi scoffed. “You should meet your boyfriend first.”

Namjoon blinked at this new piece of information. Jungkook…? So Taehyung was dating another guy?

“You’re just as important to me,” Taehyung protested with a pout. “He knows that. He told me to come find you too.”

“Jungkook will be jealous,” Yoongi warned, but changed the topic regardless. “Is halmeoni okay?”

Taehyung made a dramatic sigh, “I wanted to stay longer but she chased me out!! She somehow found out that school has started, even though I told her the first few weeks don’t matter. She’s okay, I was really scared when I heard she fell and had to go to the hospital, but she’s moving about like nothing ever happened. Wouldn’t even let me enter the kitchen to help.”

Yoongi smiled at the good news. “Yah, but will you be okay? You missed the orientation camp.”

“It’s alright, you know how easily I make friends,” Taehyung grinned, “And even if not, I have you, Jimin and Jungkook!” Yoongi reached over to ruffle his hair, and Taehyung leaned over a little to make it easier, smiling brightly all the while. He looked like Yoongi’s giant guard dog.

But well, although he seemed like he was overprotective, Namjoon thought that Taehyung seemed like a good friend. Although he didn’t know what happened that warranted Taehyung’s earlier suspicion towards him (Friendship jealousy? Bad men in Yoongi’s life?), he wanted to convince Taehyung that he was a decent, trustworthy person.

“We might be taking the same mods. Even if not, we can have lunch together,” Namjoon offered with what he hoped was a genuine smile. The English word “fake” flashed in his mind, but he quelled it. It was going to be fine. Taehyung didn’t seem like someone who would be mean.

“Really?” Much to Namjoon’s relief, Taehyung cheered up, looking at him in interest. “Can I just call you hyung? Formalities don’t really suit me. You can call me Taehyung, Jimin calls me taetae! Sometimes Jungkook does too. Give me your phone number, I’ll send you my schedule~”

Namjoon fumbled for the phone in his pocket, almost dropping it (he caught it, luckily), and handed it over. “Oh, my password is-“

“Ah hang on, don’t tell me your password,” Taehyung stuck the tip of his tongue out from his mouth, wriggling his fingers at the phone. “I’m good at this.” Taehyung looked at Namjoon for a moment, then set to work.

0000.

The screen lit up.

Yoongi burst out laughing.

“Yah, what kind of password is that?”

Namjoon was gaping.

“How even!”

Taehyung was cheering, patting himself on the back. He looked really smug, but Namjoon bet he would be too if he managed to do that.

“I can tell these things! Someone lazy like Yoongi hyung has 1234, and Jin-hyung is just such a mom that he uses his own birthday.”

“1234? Hyung! You’re in no place to laugh at me!” Namjoon laughed, pushing Yoongi lightly before he even knew what he did. He was nervous once he realized. His laughter died in his throat. God, was that him overstepping his boundaries? But Yoongi was still snickering.

“Shut up, 0000,” Yoongi drawled, wiping the corner of his eyes.

“Done~” Taehyung handed the phone back, and Namjoon saw the name saved as ‘Taetae ;)’. “Hyung!! Your shift doesn’t start until a few hours later right? Go shopping with me, I need school supplies!”

“Ah, I’ll get the dishes then,” Namjoon offered.

“Thanks,” Yoongi smiled, looking at Namjoon. Yoongi had a really cute smile, it was a shame he didn’t smile as much as his friends did. He looked unapproachable and cool when he wasn’t smiling, but he seemed really sweet while he was smiling. “You need us to buy you anything?”

Namjoon really, really wanted to be friends with Yoongi. He wished there was a book on how to do it.

“I, um, yeah I need some new pens.”

“Cool,” Taehyung nodded as Yoongi stood up, going back to his room to change. “I’ll get you the ones I like. They write REALLY well.”

“Yeah, thanks, Taetae.”

The nickname sounded foreign on his tongue, but Taehyung obviously liked it, giving him finger guns and a wink. “You’re alright, Namjoon hyung! I’ll see you next week in school yeah?”

“Mmhm.”

Taehyung leaped out from his chair, bounding over to Yoongi, who was now dressed in a comfy looking, oversized black hoodie and black pants. Taehyung was all over him in an instant, grabbing Yoongi around the waist.

“Look!!! You’re so skinny!! You definitely lost an inch!”

“Hands off,” Yoongi mock snarled, pushing Taehyung away with fond eyes even as he tried to be stern.

“Jimin and I will make sure you eat in school,” Taehyung wrinkled his nose, hooking his arm around Yoongi’s to pull him along. Taehyung turned his head to beam at Namjoon. “Bye hyung! Nice meeting you!”

“Don’t wait for me for dinner, I have a part-time job on weekends,” Yoongi informed as he struggled to put on his shoes, Taehyung giggling all the while as he refused to let Yoongi go, toeing his own shoes on easily.

“Have fun!”

Namjoon called after him, feeling envious at their close friendship. It takes time, Namjoon reminded himself. They were childhood friends. With time he could get closer to Yoongi too and enter his circle.

Chapter Text

“Do you think I need 5 or 10 of these?” Taehyung held up the packs of 0.5 gel pens in his hand, making a face.

They were at the local bookstore, surrounded by screaming kids as they, two grownass men, stood in the stationery area to pick out pens for Taehyung. And also a notebook. And files. And pencils. And color pencils. And a cute eraser. And a ruler. Basically Kim Taehyung wanted everything cute and new and refused to use his high school stationery for whatever the fuck reason Yoongi didn't know, and they had been in here for an hour.

“How much do you write?” Yoongi asked, transfixed by the Kumamon zebra pen. What?!!? Since when did Kumamon have his own pens?? He was totally going to get one… two… five… All the colours… Wait no, he’s running a bit tight, just three. Three is good.

“The better question is how much do I doodle,” Taehyung snickered, placed the pack of 5 back onto the shelf, throwing 2 packs of 10 into the basket.

“Kid, uni is a different place from high school, you won’t have the time to doodle.”

“Kid, you need to stop skipping classes,” Taehyung mocked in his best imitation of the deep, tired of life tone that Yoongi adopted at times. “Life is not as easy as you think, just trust Grandpa.” He received a smack for his efforts, and that made him laugh again.

Yoongi couldn’t help but smile at his dongsaeng’s antics. He was already feeling better, and looking forward to the school year since his favorite dongsaengs from his hometown were here in Seoul with him now. Sometimes he really hated being a hyung, having to move to Seoul alone when he was used to their clinginess and cheery laughter. It wasn’t as though last year was all that bad, however.

Jin was his roommate, he was always well fed, the groceries were always full, there was someone there for him when he was sick. He was especially a godsend during hell week, with all the tea he made to help Yoongi relax. Hoseok studied and went out with him every now and then, made sure he threw out the clothes with holes and got new ones, made music with him in Hoseok’s little studio. Jimin and Taehyung visited him every odd weekend, and he went back home for summer breaks.

But there was just something comfortable about the way Taehyung felt so familiar, bringing with him the sound and smell of Daegu, and being so overbearing with all the affection that Taehyung couldn’t contain in his slim body. Yoongi always found himself pulled into his childhood friend's pace without him knowing. It was especially hard when Taehyung knew how weak Yoongi was to begging.

“Blue or black… Namjoon hyung is DEFINITELY a black pen guy,” Taehyung laughed, throwing the back of pens into the little basket Yoongi held.

“Why?”

“Just because,” Taehyung waved his hands in the air, “He would be sitting on the balcony with his starbucks coffee, with his leather moleskin notebook, writing down poems or something as he looked at the stars. The blinking lights in the sky, shining bright with its lie, dead and hopeless, just like my eyes!”

“What. That didn’t even make sense,” Yoongi shot Taehyung a very judgmental look, though he was amused by Taehyung's theatrics.

Taehyung blinked at him, looking completely serious. “No one said he would be a good poet.”

“You’re ridiculous, Kim Taehyung,” Yoongi said, biting down a grin.

“You love me anyway~” Taehyung sung smugly, grabbing the overflowing basket from Yoongi, bouncing to the counter. Yoongi jogged up to him in protest when Taehyung started pulling out a black wallet.

“Yah, hyung will pay,” he said, pulling out his own.

“What? No!!” Taehyung whined as Yoongi slapped the bills down on the table, leaving no room for argument. Yoongi ruffled Taehyung's hair when he saw the younger boy stare at him with a huge pout.

“I’m the one with a part-time job.”

“I’m the one with the overindulgent grandma, she gave me an envelope THIS THICK,” Taehyung gestured with his fingers as Yoongi grabbed the bag, snorting in humour as Taehyung insisted, “THIS THICK, hyung. THICC.”

“Sure, you can spend that feeding Jungkook at my restaurant,” Yoongi shrugged. “That boy can out-eat a cow.”

“Except cows eat grass and kookie is a vicarious meat eater. RAWR.”

Yoongi slapped Taehyung on the head when Taehyung bit down on his shoulder through his hoodie. “Yah! Do that with your boyfriend, idiot!”

Taehyung was undeterred, but he stopped biting, rubbing his head on Yoongi’s shoulder like an overgrown child. “Hehe, hyung, I’m so excited to go to the school you do! I had to beg my parents for so loooong. They were so afraid that I'd be bullied by the Seoul kids or something, until I said I'll be living close to you. I think even my parents are scared of you, hyung!”

“Brat, you’re heavy,” Yoongi grumbled, shoving Taehyung off. "And they were worried about money, not that it matters since you and Jimin both managed to get a scholarship."

Taehyung might look and act like an idiot at times, but when push came to shove, he would seriously settle down and study like a zombie, not leaving his room for days, sometimes forgetting to eat. Yoongi admired his dedication (sometimes he did the same with his songwriting). He was proud of Taehyung for proving everyone wrong, including Taehyung's own parents who had actually said that Taehyung would never be able to get in and compete with the Seoul kids academically, and even the teachers that had given up hope on the hyperactive boy who was always fidgeting in class or mumbling. Yoongi knew that Taehyung actually had a brilliant mind, and his brain was too fast for his mouth or the slow lessons.

“Hyung, why don’t you love me???” Taehyung whined, but smiled at the sight of Yoongi’s smile. Yoongi was genuinely proud of Taehyung.

They met Jungkook outside of the restaurant. Jungkook greeted them with his toothy smile, stepping ahead to do a complicated hi-five handshake sequence with Taehyung that Yoongi couldn’t bother to learn. He wondered why they couldn’t just kiss and hug like a normal couple, but the two of them were anything but normal.

“KOOKIE I MISSED YOUUUU!” Taehyung gave one of his killer hugs, and Yoongi heard Jungkook choke, slapping Taehyung’s back to make him let go, but Taehyung hugged his fill before letting go. Jungkook looked a little red in the face when Taehyung was done, but he was grinning.

“When’s the next time you’re leaving?” Jungkook joked. “I already miss my peace.”

“YAH, you are a bad boyfriend,” Taehyung pouted, and Jungkook reached out to rub his arm comfortingly, and they both smiled. Their relationship dynamics was strange, with all the insults and banter they threw at each other, but Yoongi could always tell they loved each other from their gestures and the way they looked at each other with all the stars in their eyes.

“Yoongi hyung,” Jungkook greeted, eyes bright. “I am so hungry!! Help us grill the lamb skewers! Taehyung is nowhere as good as you, he always grills too many at the same time and burns them.”

“He never learns,” Yoongi shook with head, teasing Taehyung along with Jungkook. Taehyung was a strong advocate of multitasking, which didn't always work. “Yeah, I’ll go in and change, hang on.”

Yoongi went into the staff lockers to change into the simple black top, donning his green apron. The smell of grilling had become familiar to him now, and it permeated from the restaurant all the way into the staff room. He went out onto the shop floor, greeting his co-worker Jihyo, who was wiping a table. She waved at him with a warm smile before going back to work with a gusto.

“Hyung, over here!”

Jungkook and Taehyung waved at him excitedly as if he couldn’t spot them in the small restaurant. It was pretty empty right now, being in the mid-afternoon, so the boss didn’t mind it when he went to sit with his friends and help them grill. It was an inside joke that Jungkook alone pulled half their profits, with him coming at least twice a week and ordering enough to feed a family.

“Hi,” Yoongi greeted as dispassionately as he could, making the other two boys laugh, “How can I help you?”

“Lamb skewers!” Jungkook beamed.

“How many?”

“5… 7 portions!!” Jungkook held up his fingers victoriously, placing them next to his face. It was endearing, and Jungkook knew it, because he always low-key did aegyo so he got served bigger portions.

Brat, Yoongi mused.

“Dear lord, my pocket is gonna get burned so fast,” Taehyung laughed, making Jungkook pout.

“No one said you had to pay for me, Taetae.”

“Nonsense,” Taehyung frowned theatrically, pretending to take a card out from an imaginary wallet to slap it onto the table. “Let your boyfriend spoil you. Immediate payment, no need for instalments.”

“Yes, because you can pay in instalments at a lamb skewer restaurant,” Yoongi shook his head in exasperation, heading off to get their meat. He could hear the fit of giggles erupt behind him, and it was moments like that when Yoongi knew Taehyung and Jungkook were perfect for each other.

Yoongi came back with their meat and water, and he smiled when he saw Jungkook and Taehyung practically glued together at the hip, holding hands and speaking in low tones, presumably catching up on the 2 weeks they spent without each other. Both of the younger boys smiled up at Yoongi when he sat down opposite them, letting him know he wasn’t interrupting.

Yoongi poured water from the jug into the glasses for them, much to the protest of Jungkook, “Ah hyung! Let me take care of it!”

“Let him do it, Yoongi hyung likes to take care of others,” Taehyung said cheekily. “I’m waiting for the meat, hyung~”

“Brat,” Yoongi commented without heat, setting the temperature of the grill and laying out the sticks of lamb skewers. He used the brush to layer them with a generous amount of sauce, and Jungkook watched him do it, mesmerized by the sound, smell, and sight of glistening meat every single time.

“Maybe I should date you instead, Yoongi hyung,” Jungkook gave an evil grin, but his eyes were on Taehyung to look at his reaction.

Taehyung pulled their arms apart, scooting away to make a point, face smug and not at all jealous. “Yeah, maybe I won’t kiss you anymore for a week.”

“Ah, hyung!” Jungkook whined.

Taehyung snickered, relenting to the maknae. Jungkook was too cute whenever he acted his age. He slid back to Jungkook’s side, throwing an arm around Jungkook to pull him close, pressing a kiss on Jungkookg’s cheek and rubbing his head against his younger boyfriend’s. Jungkook’s ears flushed at the affectionate gesture, making Taehyung coo, “Why are you so cute~”

“Disgusting,” Yoongi spat, and his friends laughed at him.

Nights like this made life much more bearable.

Taehyung and Jungkook stayed for nearly half his shift, filling the restaurant with occasional laughter as they chatted and ate slowly. Yoongi would sit with them every now and then, except during the dinner rush hour. The manager liked it when the boys came, because customers would be attracted by the delighted sounds.

When he finished his shift, it was near midnight. “Get home safe, Yoongi,” his manager, Mdm Lee, a motherly woman in her late 50s, smiled at him, giving him a bag of warm lamb skewers. “Bring it back and share it with your roommate.”

“Thank you,” Yoongi bowed, ducking out onto the streets of Seoul that were perpetually bright with lights and life even at this time. He wondered if Namjoon even liked lamb skewers. Come to think of it, he had barely even spent time with his roommate. Taehyung had told him before that Yoongi was slow to make friends. Well, but that was because he always referred to Taehyung as the neighbour’s kid for their first entire year of acquaintance despite them hanging out every now and then (Yoongi rejected him half the time, but Taehyung was persistent).

Namjoon… was entering the second year of university a week late, coming from America’s university. There seemed to be a story there. Why did he go through highschool in Korea, go to America for his university, and then come back after a year? Jin refused to tell him anything about the guy's major. It sounded like something had gone wrong. Maybe Yoongi shouldn’t ask, it sounded sensitive.

They didn’t get off on the right foot, but maybe Namjoon was a decent guy? He did offer to wash the dishes and bought Yoongi chicken to make up for breaking his coffee maker anyway. He should give the poor kid a chance.

“I’m home!”

Namjoon popped his head out from his room, blond hair a mess, cheeks flushed. “Oh, hyung! Welcome back.”

“You hungry? I have lamb skewers from my workplace,” Yoongi set the bag down on the coffee table, removing his jacket with ease. He threw it over the back of the couch. He always liked them slightly oversized, it was more comfortable that way. Although Jimin seemed to like his fitted.

“Bless you,” Namjoon breathed, he was so hungry. “Uh, let me just, wear a shirt.”

He popped back into his room, and Yoongi had to dispel the image of Namjoon being shirtless from his mind. Namjoon was tall, and looked like a giant tree, but was he built underneath his shirt? Okay, rude, not okay, Yoongi, don’t fantasize about your roommate because he’s rather attractive and you’re gay. He didn’t even know if Namjoon was gay. Maybe he shouldn’t have stopped Taehyung from asking. No, not that it would matter, Yoongi wasn't interested in dating. Anyone. Yep.

“Food!” Namjoon came back out excitedly. It was cute how Namjoon could be so enthusiastic when he was such a giant at his 1.8m. His eyes disappeared when he smiled, taking the paper bag with elation and settling down on the couch.

“Oh, and Taehyung got you black pens, if that’s okay,” Yoongi took the pens from his bag, placing them down on the coffee table.

“Definitely! I like black more than blue.” Namjoon sunk his teeth into the first stick, moaning with joy.

Yoongi wondered how the hell Taehyung was so good at reading people. He watched Namjoon tear into the lamb skewers, chewing happily with his cheeks full.

“Do you also drink starbucks on balconies, stare at the night sky and write poetry on a leather moleskin notebook?” Yoongi found himself asking distractedly as barbecue sauce stained Namjoon's full lips. What a messy eater. “Oh, I mean, uh… Taehyung was saying… yeah…” He drifted out awkwardly, sitting himself down as well.

“Hm? Where did that come from?” Namjoon laughed, but was happy that Yoongi was finally asking about him and talking to him. “I do like starbucks and balconies, and sometimes I draw inspiration from the sky, I do sometimes write poetry, but I don’t own a leather notebook. Oh, how much is the-”

Yoongi waved his hand, showing that it was alright. “You don’t need to pay for things like this. You bought chicken the other day, remember? And didn’t you eat dinner?”

Namjoon was done with the 20 sticks of lamb skewers in 5 minutes. He laughed awkwardly. “I’ve been banned from the kitchen by Jin, and I forgot to buy take out while catching up on the lectures I missed.”

“Banned?”

“I, uh… I was at his house during highschool, and I wanted to make cup ramen, and… the water boiler exploded?”

Yoongi blinked.

“Hang on. Exploded? Why? How?” Did Namjoon skip some part of the story? That escalated quickly.

“I don’t know!!” Namjoon flailed his arms about, upset. “It just did!? The universe hates me, I swear. I only just pressed this button, the one that says ‘PRESS’! So I did!”

Yoongi burst out laughing at the genuine confusion on Namjoon’s face. Poor guy.

“It’s not funny,” Namjoon whined.

“You didn’t get hurt, did you?” Yoongi quietened down, looking at Namjoon in concern. He didn’t seem visibly scarred. Namjoon paused at the gentle look, marvelling at how soft Yoongi looked when he didn't have his grumpy face on.

“Uh. Well, I got burned and ran for the bathroom to turn on the shower and the knob just-“ Namjoon gestured with his hands, showing how the knob fell out. “Jin came when he heard me shouting ‘IT BURNS, IT BURNSSS’ and he hosed me down. He thought I was getting possessed or something, he was so freaked out.”

Yoongi couldn’t help but laugh again. Namjoon watched as the shorter man’s eyes turned into crescents, mouth forming into a gummy smile. Somehow, he felt kind of proud that he could make Yoongi laugh, even if it was at his own expense.

“Jin freaks out too much for his own health,” Yoongi mused, “the first time I came to discuss about renting the bedroom, he just gaped at me, made me sit down in the kitchen without a word, and started cooking! I almost left immediately, I thought he was psychotic or something, but his food was so good?”

Namjoon was smiling, listening to Yoongi attentively, eager to catch all the different expressions Yoongi had with some sort of child-like curiosity. Yoongi’s heart did a nervous titter from the rapt attention, and he hoped it didn’t show.

“He said I was the skinniest, most zombie-like person he had ever met,” Yoongi continued, “Well, I guess I did look pretty bad then, since I just finished the entrance exams. We signed the contract on the spot, he swore on his heart to fatten me up.”

“That’s really nice of Jin,” Namjoon remarked, only slightly surprised. His friend had always been rather motherly to all of his friends.

It had been so long since he had such a nice conversation with someone, especially in Korean, that Namjoon couldn’t help but feel disappointed as Yoongi yawned, excusing himself. The brunet man padded across the living room, dragging his feet.

“I’m gonna go to bed, I’m working the morning shift tomorrow.”

“Good night, hyung,” Namjoon smiled, feeling rather tired himself. He gathered up the trash, cleaning up the area.

The low and sleepy voice replied, “Sleep well.”

Namjoon smiled to himself , looking forward to spending more time with his room mate.

Chapter Text

There was a persistent knocking again, and it was Sunday for God’s sake. Namjoon prayed for Yoongi to get it, but Yoongi slept like a log and there was no waking him unless there was a fire. Actually, come to think of it, Yoongi woke up to voices, but usually slept right through noises. Namjoon would know, he dropped a pot accidentally at 3am, flinched and paused like it would undo everything, praying for Yoongi to not notice(he didn’t).

To Namjoon’s utmost surprise, he heard the tell-tale, soft click of their front door opening, and someone entering their house softly. Namjoon lifted his phone to check the time. 9am. God, it was too early to die. If it was a burglar… well, the most expensive thing Namjoon owned was his laptop.

The soft pit-pat moved closer to their room doors. He wondered if the person would go for him or Yoongi first. He looked vaguely around his room for a weapon. The lamp would do. Grabbing it, Namjoon sat up in his bed groggily, hair a bird’s nest in how messy it was.

It was up to him. He had to rescue Yoongi and defend his honour. Get into Yoongi’s good books. Be one of the dongsaengs he doted on. He could do this. Slapping his own face lightly, he tiptoed to his room door, opening it just a crack, looking out blearily.

He saw the short (Yoongi’s height?) boy, who was slightly more built than Yoongi, with amazing thighs that must have come from a sport or something. Yoongi was more petite than this. Also, Yoongi had brown hair, not bright orange. Also, this boy wore an oversized gray sweater than almost covered his fingertips. His fingers were at Yoongi’s doorknob.

“Hey-“

The boy flinched, turning around in surprise. “Oh! Um… are you Namjoon?”

That was a good sign, the boy knew who he was. Unless he was a stalker. Then that might be bad. Namjoon had watched enough yandere anime to see where this might be going. He swallowed, nodding slightly.

“Sorry if I woke you up,” they boy smiled, full of flowers and sunshine, eyes crinkling with gentleness. This boy smiled with his whole face, and it was so disarming Namjoon’s grip loosened and he dropped the lamp with a large clatter, making both their eyes trail towards it and the broken bulb in it.

“Oh no!” the child of joy gasped. “Namjoon hyung, let’s hide it! Yoongi hyung will be upset if he knew you broke something else.”

“Huh? Uh…” Namjoon sidestepped as Jimin knelt down, examining the lamp. He decided that only the light bulb was broken, and set to the task of cleaning the glass up. Namjoon broke out of his stupor, “I’ll do it.”

“I’m Jimin, Park Jimin,” Jimin introduced himself once all the glass was cleared up and the lamp(sans light bulb) was placed back on the night drawer. Jimin’s face scrunched up with the smile again, and Namjoon instantly decided that he rather like the boy, Jimin seemed really kind and sweet, not unlike Jin. “You should get a new lightbulb secretly.”

Jimin. Highschool friend of Yoongi, according to Taehyung. Stayed over for sleepovers every now and then when Yoongi was a first year. He was bubbly and full of energy, yet in a different sense from Taehyung and Hoseok. Again… how did Yoongi get all these friends that were so different from him on energy levels?

“Uhh, sure, thanks…” Namjoon trailed unsurely. “Um, so why are you here?”

Jimin blinked, looked down at his watch, and shrieked.

“OW!” Namjoon grabbed his ears, offended.

“Oh, sorry! I’m just- YOONGI HYUNG, HYUNG!” Jimin flung Yoongi’s door open, and Yoongi was wrapped in his blanket like a burrito again, breathing softly. “AH HYUNG, please, please wake up, you’re going to be late! I am a failure of a dongsaeng! After I volunteered to come wake you!”

Yoongi stirred, unravelling himself from the blanket like a sleepy caterpillar that decided it was too lazy to become a butterfly. “Mm? Jiminnie? Why are you here?”

“Work, you have work in 30 minutes,” Jimin informed rapidly, tugging at Yoongi. “Please wake up!”

Yoongi yawned lazily, blinking. He then blinked at Jimin. “How was dance camp?”

“Not now hyung!!” Jimin pleaded, giving up. He placed his arms under Yoongi and scooped him up promptly like a princess, bringing him to the bathroom in a hurry. “Can you brush your teeth on your own?? I need to find clothes for you and feed you and-“

Namjoon piped up from where he was watching across the hallway, “I’ll make some cereal, it’s quick to eat.”

“THANK YOU,” Jimin gushed, then turned to pout at Yoongi who was now sitting listlessly on the edge of the bathtub, toothbrush in his mouth, hands unmoving by his side as he blinked languidly, eyes half-open. “Hyuuuung!!!”

Namjoon did not expect to see Jimin brushing Yoongi’s teeth for him when he got back. It was clear that Yoongi was not a morning person. What time did he even sleep yesterday?? Yoongi’s eyes had dark circles underneath them.

Jimin mused, “Maybe you should think before taking someone else’s shift for them to attend their dog’s birthday party. Come on, spit.”

Yoongi was so lazy to go to the sink he turned and spat down the bathtub. He seemed to be gaining some human consciousness however, especially when Namjoon handed him a cup of coffee. He downed it in one mouthful, eyes more alert than before. Jimin took the cup, setting it aside and taking the bowl of cereal from Namjoon with an appreciative smile.

“Hyung, can you hold this and eat it while I make you presentable?”

Seeing Yoongi so quiet, soft and obedient made Namjoon want to tuck him back in bed and sing him a shitty lullaby or something, Yoongi looked like he really needed the sleep. Yoongi starts shovelling mouthfuls of cereal into himself as Jimin busies with Yoongi’s closet.

“But Holly deserves a birthday party.”

Yoongi whines in a deep, scratchy voice that still sounds full of sleep.
Holly?

“Hyung! Holly is a dog!”

“She’s the best dog in the world! She deserves all the birthday parties!”

“She’s not your dog! She’s your colleague’s dog! Why do you have to sacrifice your off day to-“

“Don’t remind me! I want her!”

Namjoon sees that the situation is volatile and steps forward to remove the half-empty sloshing bowl of cereal and milk from Yoongi’s hands. Jimin sends Namjoon an exasperated look, as if to say, ‘look what I have to deal with’. But honestly, Namjoon is intrigued. He keeps seeing all these different sides of Yoongi that he never would have imagined when he first met him. Such as the fact that Yoongi could be strangely childish and dependent.

Jimin starts unbuttoning Yoongi’s pyjamas, and Yoongi lets him without a fight. The shirt slips over one pale shoulder that is the whitest Namjoon had ever seen, even if compared to a girl’s. Namjoon coughed awkwardly at how natural they seemed, excusing himself with a mumbled excuse. He went back to his room and slammed the door. What was he, deprived?? A pervert?? It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen guys naked before, so why was that different? Maybe it was how domestic it all felt, like Namjoon was intruding on a moment.

The voices outside his door sounded more two-sided now, he could hear the drawl in Yoongi’s voice when he speaks in Gyeongsando, his Daegu dialect, and Jimin reciprocates, not as heavily tinted as Yoongi’s.

He then hears Yoongi on the phone, dutifully answering “Boss. Yes, I’ll be there soon, in 10 minutes.”

Someone knocked on his door lightly, and Namjoon opened it to see Jimin, smiling a little sheepishly. “It’s a shame we couldn’t eat breakfast together and get to know each other more. Once again, sorry for waking you up!”

“It’s okay,” Namjoon assured quickly. “I can fall back asleep real quick. It’s honestly no problem at all.”

And Jimin flashes him that cute smile that made his eyes almost disappear again, and Namjoon thinks about the gummy smile Yoongi has when he’s genuinely smiling or laughing. He sees a resemblance.

He spots Yoongi wearing his shoes.

“Ah hyung, have a good day at work!”

Yoongi yawned and gave him a nonchalant back handed wave. Jimin smiled at him one final time before rushing ahead to wear his own shoes, dragging Yoongi up to make him jog lightly to catch up with the pace.

Namjoon went and locked the door.

It was time for sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Geez hyung, you’re such a kid when you don’t have enough sleep,” Jimin grumbled half-heartedly, because honestly, sleepy Yoongi was cute Yoongi. Slurred speech that barely made sense, Yoongi allowing others to order him around without a fight, and acting as soft as he looked…

“Mm,” Yoongi mumbled as a reply as Jimin grabbed his arm and navigated around the streets of Seoul.

Because honestly, after everything Min Yoongi went through, Park Jimin just wanted to take care of his hyung, make sure he was happy and well-fed, and doing well in life. He wished really hard that someone would love Yoongi as he deserved to be loved, because he couldn’t be that person.

“We’re here, hyung, come on, wake up.”

Yoongi nodded, allowing Jimin to usher him in through the backdoor.

“I’ll go to the staff pantry and make you another coffee, can you change on your own?”

“Mmhm.”

Jimin left, wondering if Yoongi could actually manage. He smiled at the manager (Mdm Lee) who was busy wiping tables. He liked her, because she acted really motherly towards Yoongi, and she didn’t mind doing tasks that other workers also did, because she viewed them all as equals just trying hard to make a living.

“Sorry, he’s late,” Jimin laughed, “Good morning.”

Mdm Lee giggled at him, the crow’s feet gathering around her eyes. “Child, why are you apologizing for him? You’re such a good friend. Have you had breakfast?”

“Yes, thank you.” Jimin picked up the cup of instant coffee as Min Yoongi emerged from the staffroom, apron barely tied together, done sloppily.

“I want to be born as a rock in my next life,” Yoongi moaned dramatically as Jimin handed him the coffee, chuckling. He downed it as Jimin reached over to smooth his hair into something more presentable and redid the ribbon on the apron. Normally he would protest, but he didn’t have the energy to do so. He would be Min Yoongi again after noon.

“It was nice of you to take over Jihyo so she could spend time with her dog, especially when you did the night shift yesterday,” Mdm Lee laughed, shaking her head at the colourful team of part-timers she had hired. They all had quite the personality, but Mdm Lee loved all of them. They were hard workers, kids who tried their best earnestly. “Are you going to be okay for school tomorrow though?”

“Taehyung and I will wake him up and make sure he goes,” Jimin beamed as Mdm Lee poured him a cup of homemade chrysanthemum tea. “Thank you!”

Yoongi, now much more awake, gestured for Jimin to sit down near the cashier counter so they could chat as Yoongi grilled some lamb skewers for those who wanted them ready-to-go. Hardly anyone ate lamb skewers for breakfast in a restaurant, but they had a few regular customers who liked to takeaway. Apparently he was the best at grilling them, just like Mdm Lee’s deceased husband, as she liked to coo at him at times.

“So? How was the overnight dance camp?” Yoongi waved a stick at Jimin, who took it, munching thoughtfully as he reflected on the experience. The meat was soft and succulent on the inside, but was coated with delicious barbecue sauce, grilled with a crispy outer shell that was addictive to chew on.

“I was so tired I slept through most of the weekend! We danced non-stop from Friday afternoon to Saturday evening, I swear… Oh! But I got lots of compliments! The seniors want me on their main dance team! Hoseok got in too!!”

“In your first year?” Yoongi raised his eyebrows. “Wow. Here, take another, you deserve it.”

Jimin giggled at the praise, beaming up at Yoongi. “Hoseok and I have dance background, remember? We always went for dance lessons, ever since middle school. We have an advantage over beginners.”

Hoseok and Jimin had been in the same dance class, and Jimin really liked Hoseok even though they weren’t close enough to be friends when they ended up in the same high school. It was part of why he encouraged Yoongi to get together with Hoseok, because he wanted to be friends with the popular, friendly boy. Jimin regretted it. He felt like he was to blame for Yoongi getting hurt, and he knew Taehyung felt that way too, since he also pushed for them to date. That’s why both of them tried their best to be the best dongsaengs Yoongi ever had.

But while Taehyung hated Hoseok with a vengeance, Jimin didn’t hate him. He was just upset that Hoseok had been so careless to get drunk and sleep with someone else, that he didn’t take the relationship seriously, but Jimin was guilty of the latter too, so he found it hard to blame Hoseok. People made mistakes. He could see that Hoseok felt extremely bad about it too, and was also heartbroken. Hoseok wasn’t the same for the rest of that school year, subdued and hardly laughing.

Jimin thought back to the time when he first met Yoongi, and got a crush on him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the day of the of the mid-term exams, and Park Jimin was late for the school. He hadn’t even eaten breakfast, just dressed himself and ran. His mother swore that he wouldn’t be allowed to continue dance classes if he flunked. Only when he reached the school gate did he realize he forgot to wear his tie.

He groaned at himself, close to tears, heart hammering in his chest from panic and the mad run he just did. The discipline community would catch him, lecture him even though he had a paper, and right now, he was already 30 minutes late. Wondering how to slip past the teachers, tears started to drip from his eyes as he gripped his pant legs tightly. Why didn’t he wake up from the alarm? He had studied so hard, for the whole night, and was so, so stupid to decide to actually allow himself to sleep for an hour and-

“Yah, you okay?”

The deep, concerned voice made Jimin snap his head up, and turn around to see a sleepy, slouching boy slightly shorter than he was. His black eyes were intense and sharp compared to his relaxed demeanour like he could tell everything about Jimin.

“H-Huh?”

“Wow, you’re a mess,” Yoongi looked up and down the flustered boy, stepping forward to rebutton the top of Jimin’s shirt that was done wrong. Jimin’s heart thundered in his chest, but he didn’t know if it was from his breathlessness, his panic, or the beautiful smell of the boy’s cologne, or-

“I, I’m late for my paper, I don’t have my tie, I-“

Before Jimin knew it, Yoongi was removing his own tie, looping it around Jimin’s neck, tying it deftly, cold fingers brushing against Jimin’s overheated skin. Jimin shivered. “There, solved. You have your pencil case?”

The boy was so calm that Jimin felt himself matching the pace, focusing on breathing better, on calming his own thoughts.

“Y-Yes…”

“Hm. Good luck, go on then,” Yoongi pushed him lightly on the back, mumbling the most unenthusiastic ‘Hwaiting’ that Jimin had ever heard.

“But you-“

“Run!” Yoongi shouted, pushing Jimin harder, and Jimin’s feet ran as the teacher on duty noticed them and started jogging over. Not wanting to be caught, Jimin ran as fast as he could past the school’s front door, dashing up the stairs to his classroom to his class without looking back.

He opened the door to see the scowling look of his teacher, and as quietly as he could, sat down to do his paper. Halfway through, as he made a mistake, he rummaged through his pencil case to look for an eraser, but… huh? It was missing! He must have left it on his desk. He couldn’t erase the bubble he had shaded on the form. It was just one question, Jimin gulped. It would be okay, everything was alright, don’t have a nervous breakdown, there is no time-

He heard a weird scraping noise, and he looked back to see Kim Taehyung, the boy who sat behind him diagonally, cutting something with a penknife. Kim Taehyung beamed at him- how could he smile when Jimin was having such a horrible day on such a difficult paper- and mouthed… ‘catch’?

Jimin fumbled as the eraser flew, catching it in mid-air. Luckily, the teacher was dozing at the desk. He looked back to see Kim Taehyung grin at him, fist raised in a ‘Hwaiting’ motion.

Gratitude washed through him, and Jimin smiled a wobbly smile as he marvelled at the eraser, smooth and worn on one edge but cut clean and sharp on the other. It was a cute penguin head, dismembered into two away from his body. Jimin felt slightly bad that Taehyung had cut it for him.

Kim Taehyung, the class clown and ‘alien’, who always fidgeted in class and talked and got on the teacher’s nerves with his antics, that most of his classmates avoided because he would blurt out the most random and weird things. Kim Taehyung, the one to realize he needed help in the exam when it was every man for himself. And the other boy at the gate, Jimin thought as he erased furiously, trying to finish the paper. He received so much kindness when he had such a bad day. Tears filled his eyes for a different reason now as he neared the end of the paper.

The paper was over, and Jimin wasn’t sure if he would pass, but he did his very best. Breathing a sigh of relief and rubbing sweat off his sweaty brow, Jimin picked up the eraser and headed over to Taehyung’s desk.

“Thank you so much! You saved me.”

“It’s okay,” Taehyung took the eraser, placing it on the eraser body of the penguin, petting it on the head with a long finger. “You did well, Pingu.” The head toppled. Taehyung made a devastated face. “Rip, my chingu pingu.”

Uh… okay.

Taehyung lifted his head to smile at Jimin again, doing a 180 flip in his emotions. “Was the paper okay for you?”

“Not sure, I hope I pass,” Jimin worried on his bottom lip. He looked down at his tie, fingering it. He had to return it, but he had no idea what year and class, nor the name of one of his saviours.

“Woah daebak is that Min Yoongi?” He heard one of the girls remark from the window. Taehyung visibly perked up at the name. “I’ve never seen him run. I thought he was some baby vampire that couldn’t be under the sun. How you seen how white he is? Especially under the science lab lights? We got so shocked at that time!”

The girls giggled at their own jokes, but Taehyung rushed to the window. Jimin followed him, lost at how concerned Taehyung looked.

Jimin looked out the window to see the slowest jog he had ever seen anyone do. “Why is he running?” He could recognize that it was the boy who lent him the tie.

“You have to run if you forget your tie 3 times… aish, this hyung. He hates running! Scratch that, he hates any form of exercise. Why didn’t he crawl through the-“ Taehyung paused, looking at Jimin with wide eyes, pursing his lips like he almost revealed a secret.

“The?”

“Uhh,” Taehyung chuckled nervously. “Well, don’t tell anyone else. Behind the school, near where we throw the trash, there’s this spot in the bushes you can crawl under where the gate is cut. One of our seniors must have made it, but I discovered it when I was following a cat.”

“Uh huh.”

“And Yoongi hyung knows it too, I told him like, 10 times.”

Jimin looked down at the boy jogging at a speed slower than walking, under the scorching hot sun, and felt extremely bad. Yoongi had brought the tie! He just lent it to someone else… He didn’t deserve to run…

“Okay, I’m gonna tell the teacher!” Jimin nodded in determination, and Taehyung grabbed his wrist before he could run off.

“AHH, DON’T!! PLEASE, DON’T TELL!!!” Taehyung pleaded loudly.

“Huh?”

“The gate, the-“

“Shhh!!” Jimin covered Taehyung’s mouth before he could reveal his own secret. “Not that! I was going to tell the discipline master that uh… that Yoongi…? Yoongi lent me his tie, and that he shouldn’t have to run.”

Taehyung blinked as Jimin slowly removed his hand.

“Yoongi hyung did?”

Taehyung’s smile grew wide with a strange pride as he boasted, “He’s my friend! He’s really nice! And you shouldn’t. That dude would just make you run too. He hates Yoongi hyung with a passion, because Yoongi hyung got piercings and refused to remove them. He might punish him twice. ”

“Oh. What year and class is he? I need to thank him at any rate! Buy him lunch or something…”

“Then you can join us for lunch!” Taehyung beamed. “He’s in class 2-1. He’s really smart!”

Jimin’s eyes bulged. Yoongi was older than him?! He looked so small on the field, not that Jimin could talk, he was shorter than the other boys his age, but still. Then again, Yoongi had been so calm when they met, and was mature in his mannerisms. “Can… can I really? You two eat together?”

Taehyung’s smile looked a little uncomfortable. “Umm, yeah… Yoongi hyung he… he made me eat with him when he realized I don’t have friends in my year.”

“Oh,” Jimin’s heart plummeted at Taehyung’s sad eyes. “I’ll… I’ll be your friend!”

The life got blown into Taehyung’s eyes so fast, Jimin had to blink to take in Taehyung’s face again. Taehyung’s smile stretched so wide that it looked like it would hurt. “Really???” Taehyung grabbed his hands. “I’m so happy!! Let’s go, we’ll buy milk to celebrate our new friendship!”

The class threw them odd looks at Taehyung’s outburst, but Jimin couldn’t care less about them, because how long has it been that someone was this excited about hanging out with him? To be so happy just to be friends with him? He had a few friends in class he ate lunch with, but they always rejected his suggestions to spending time after school to hang out.

“Sure!”

Jimin was so excited with his new friendship and to be able to thank Yoongi, that he fidgeted just as much in his seat as Taehyung usually did, and they were both sent out of class to stand in the hallway. It didn’t help that he kept turning back in class to see Taehyung smile and make weird faces at him, and he started making some back. They were called back in almost immediately when the teacher heard their non-stop chattering and bright laughter, sounding like children that were excited to see each other in kindergarten after a long holiday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Min Yoongi was surprised when Taehyung arrived on the roof, beaming like a cat that got the cream, arm around the boy he saw in the morning, exclaiming, “My childhood friend, Min Yoongi. Yoongi hyung, my new best friend, Park Jimin. Sorry.”

Yoongi was unperturbed at one of his titles of ‘best friend’ being removed and transferred.

“Ah, Yoongi sunbae! Thank you so much for your help, I’m so sorry you had to run, let me make it up to you with lunch!”

“Student,” Yoongi sighed at Jimin’s earnestness. “Save up your money, go buy cds from your favorite girl group or something. I didn’t do it for repayment.”

“You’re a student too, hyung, stop trying to sound all old and wise,” Taehyung made a face. “He’s Jimin! Call him Jimin!!”

Yoongi gave Taehyung an exasperated look. “It’s okay, Jimin.”

His name has never sounded as nice as right now, when Min Yoongi sunbae breathed it out all soft and gentle in his deep voice. He flushed.

“Really, let me buy you lunch, sunbae!”

“Sunbae,” Taehyung cooed, mimicking Jimin to tease Yoongi.

Yoongi heaved a heavy sigh, as if wondering why he still put up with Taehyung. “Just… just give me back my tie.”

Jimin nodded rapidly, pulling at the tie he wore to untie it. He stepped closer, hesitated, and looped it around Yoongi’s neck, feeling his nostrils fill up with a smell of musk and rainwater. His fingers shook in this proximity, and he was sure his face was burning up.

“Are you sure you know how to tie it?”

The deep voice rumbled, vibrations reaching Jimin’s ears pleasantly, causing him to squeak. Yoongi only sighed and stepped back to do it himself. Frustrated at his clumsy fingers, Jimin looked down.

Then a gentle hand was patting his head.

“Did you bring lunch?”

Yoongi was smiling tiredly at him, like he was trying to take care of a troublesome dongsaeng and sparing his feelings.

“Oh… no.”

“Then go buy something from the cafeteria, and you can buy hyung a drink.”

“Yes, sunbae.”

“I said hyung, didn’t I?”

“Y-yes, hyung.”

“Milk! We’re celebrating the day we all become friends!!” Taehyung declared, breaking the strange atmosphere. “Jimin, let’s go!!”

Taehyung later knocks that milk back like alcohol, gets smacked on the head by Yoongi, and Jimin just laughed at their dynamic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So Jimin joined the two of them for lunch every day. He gets a 50 on that math paper where Taehyung lent him the eraser, barely passing thanks to that one mark. He gets to continue dancing. It was fun, throwing notes back and forth with Taehyung in class and going out to cafes, movies, arcades and eventually each other’s houses, sometimes with Yoongi along.

He feels affection building up for Yoongi, especially when he sees how Yoongi takes care of Taehyung, and Jimin himself. Yoongi waits patiently when Taehyung gets so excited he babbles and doesn’t make sense, asks questions and lets Taehyung speak it out. He’s there with napkins and gives Taehyung his own icecream when Taehyung gets distracted by a cat and drops his. He pats their clothes down when one day all of them were late and had to crawl through the hole in the bushes.

Yoongi does it like it’s breathing, like it’s no big deal. It’s natural to him, and whenever someone thanks him for it, he gets embarrassed and tries to deny it or play it down. Jimin learnt to just accept it like Taehyung does and repays Yoongi in different ways, like making sure Yoongi wakes up with morning calls or getting him drinks from the cafeteria.

And then one day, when they were waiting for Taehyung to come back from meeting the teacher, in that classroom where the setting sunlight filtered in so beautifully that Yoongi looked ethereal, with his personality so special and unreal, and Jimin couldn’t help but be so thankful that he met him, he blurts out, and instantly regrets:

“I like you.”

Yoongi turns to face him, the setting sun behind him a halo on his head, and Yoongi smiles at him. Jimin gains courage from this response.

“I know,” Yoongi drawls in a low voice, gently.

“Can you… can I date you? Please?”

Yoongi considers this. He looks at the door, where Taehyung would come any moment.

“…We can try. I can’t promise that I’ll love you back, the way you hope for.”

And then Jimin found the courage to kiss those kind lips with that beautiful voice that the most amazing person he had ever met spoke with.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They didn’t tell Taehyung. Jimin was afraid of how it would affect the friendship between all of them. After some hesitation, Yoongi agreed.

It was just simple things. Hand holding under the table and stolen kisses when Taehyung wasn’t looking. Jimin was busy with dance practice and gaming with Taehyung and studying and teaching tuition for his part time job, they didn’t go on dates in public. There was one time in Jimin’s room, but his room had no lock so Jimin didn’t even hold hands with him. They just played games and studied.

It was a month after when Yoongi asked him quietly when Taehyung went to the toilet. The same empty classroom that Jimin had confessed to Yoongi in.

“What are we?” He looked patient, but just the slightest bit hurt, and Jimin knew this because Yoongi’s eyes were lowered and not meeting his.

“We… we’re dating.”

“Jimin, you’re not sure about this, are you?” Yoongi is gentle, voice understanding.

“I love you,” Jimin blurts out, starting to feel upset and cornered.

“Yes I know, but dance practice is also important to you, and so is time with Taehyung,” Yoongi looks up now. “And you’re afraid of being gay, aren’t you? That people find out, that you’ll lose your dance scholarship and being dance president, and your family and your friends?”

Jimin’s lip wobbles as he feels a choking sensation like tears being held back. He wants to deny it, deny everything, but it was obvious with how careful he was with this relationship. “I’m so sorry hyung, I-“

“Let’s break up, Park Jimin,” Yoongi’s voice is soft. He knows Jimin does love him, but not enough to let go of social pressures, not enough to let go and risk sacrificing everything else important to him. “I don’t feel the same way you do in the first place.”

“Hyung…” Jimin knows that Yoongi is doing this all for him. Doing it out of love. He knows from the way that Yoongi kisses him back gently every single time, he knows from Yoongi’s warm eyes whenever he looks at him. He knows from how Yoongi laughs every morning at the sight of his tie, stepping forward to redo it for him. Even if he tries to pretend he wasn’t in love as well to spare Jimin’s feelings, it wasn’t working.

“I’m leaving first.”

Yoongi stands up quickly, leaving, and Jimin thinks Yoongi must have been holding back tears too as he made the hard decision for Jimin, one that Jimin couldn’t make.

Yoongi stops at the door, not turning back as he says, in a slightly pained voice, “You’ll go far, Park Jimin. You work the hardest I’ve ever seen anyone do, and you’re really talented. Hang in there. I…I’m happy to have dated you.”

Jimin breaks into tears the instant the door closes.

It was another minute when Taehyung steps back into the room, beaming. “My bros! Kim Taehyung is back! Let us go and-”

He falls short when he sees Jimin bawling on the desk.

“Chimchim!!” Taehyung is next to him immediately, shaking his shoulder. “Who made you cry? Who do I have to beat up? Is it Yoongi hyung??”

“No, no,” Jimin shakes his head, wiping his rapidly flowing tears. He feels heartbroken. He feels disappointed in himself. He feels like a let-down. “I… I made a mistake, Taehyung. I’m not sure what I should do! I’ve hurt him, I’ve hurt his feelings when he’s worth so much more than that, so much more than me…”

Taehyung looks confused, but he hugs Jimin tightly. “It’ll be okay, he’ll forgive you.”

“I know he will, and that’s why it hurts more. I don’t deserve it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi avoids them religiously for the next few days, and Jimin knows that it’s because Yoongi wants to give him space to heal. But Taehyung is as much Yoongi’s friend and his, and it upsets him more that Yoongi is left all alone, chose to be alone so that Jimin’s daily life is protected, so that Taehyung could comfort him and help him through the pain when Yoongi needed it just as much. He’s upset that Yoongi didn’t even tell Taehyung anything when Jimin broke Yoongi’s heart and Yoongi also needed all the support Jimin is getting.

That’s why Jimin broke down and confessed everything to Taehyung one day, begging him for forgiveness, telling him to go to Yoongi instead, because Jimin didn’t deserve Taehyung. Or Yoongi.

“I knew,” Taehyung said quietly.

Jimin looks up in shock.

Taehyung gives him a sympathetic smile. “I’m not an idiot, Park Jimin. I’ve seen the way you look at each other. Yoongi hyung messaged me, told me to not hate you and to help you.”

Taehyung doesn’t understand how Jimin could choose his life over Yoongi. His hyung is one of the bestest people ever in his life. But Yoongi had talked to him, long and patient, about how it’s hard to choose between family and someone you love. About how it’s hard to risk everything you worked for your whole life for love. Yoongi didn’t cry in front of him, but Taehyung knew he must have, from his puffy eyes. And Jimin is his best friend ever, sensitive and caring Jimin who was dedicated to dance, so much that he would skip meals, skip sleep sometimes and had to be forced to rest. Jimin was so upset that he stopped going. Taehyung knows that Jimin would not hurt Yoongi on purpose, and seeing Jimin like this he knew Jimin was suffering just as hard, if not harder.

Jimin cries louder, and Taehyung rubs his back.

“Yoongi hyung is too good for me.”

Taehyung doesn’t think so, he thinks they are both great people who deserved happiness with each other, but he respects the decision they made.

“The best thing you can do for Yoongi hyung is to feel better and do better, you’ve missed dance practice, and he was worried when he found out. No no, don’t cry even more! Oh, Park Jimin…” Taehyung hugs him tight, feeling hurt for his friend. “He wants to stay your friend, Jimin. He’s giving you time. He has forgiven you long ago, and you have to forgive yourself. Both of you will find someone good for you in the future.”

“Someone who will hold Yoongi hyung’s hand in public?” Jimin wails.

“Yeah… someone who will marry the fuck out of Yoongi hyung,” Taehyung promised, wondering if these words would hurt Jimin more, but Jimin is smiling a watery smile.

“Someone who will think Yoongi is his entire world?!” Jimin is blubbering, and it should be comical, but Taehyung just feels sad.

“Yeah,” Taehyung nods, patting Jimin’s back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One week later, it’s the three of them on the roof again, and Jimin speaks those words to Yoongi, hoping it reaches Yoongi, hoping those words come true, that someone would really love Yoongi like he couldn’t.

“One day, Jimin, you’ll love someone that much too,” Yoongi promised with a smile. “But for now, you can be my favorite dongsaeng.”

“What about me?!?!!” Taehyung protested, making Jimin giggle.

“Fine, you’re both my favorites. Happy, Kim Taehyung?”

“So happy we’re all friends again,” Taehyung smiles, and Yoongi and Jimin both realize how hard it had been for Taehyung to be caught in the middle. Everyone puts in more effort in their friendship from then on, for each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Food for your thoughts?”

Yoongi is poking him in the cheek with a hot lamb skewer.

“Hyung!!” Jimin whines just to see Yoongi smile. Hesitantly, he admits, “I was just thinking about how we met and the past.”

Jimin is older now, more mature. He’s more certain of who he is, of his sexuality, that the fact that his friends wouldn’t leave him because he’s gay, and most likely his parents wouldn’t too, even though he hasn’t come out yet. He still loves Yoongi, a strange blur between friendship, admiration, respect and genuine attraction, but also guilt and regret.

Yoongi just smiles at him to reassure him he’s over it, just like every single time Jimin brings it up.

Jimin doesn’t think he deserves Yoongi, so he makes no attempt at a romance with him. He’s not confident still that he could treat Yoongi like he deserves to be treated. Especially since Yoongi was hurt by Hoseok, and also Taehyung, Jimin doesn’t want to risk it. He only has a life mission to make sure Yoongi ends up with someone who would be there to stay and love him.

“My dongsaeng needs energy to dance. Eat,” Yoongi demanded.

Jimin opens his mouth obediently, knows that Yoongi likes to fatten him up because Jimin always forgets to eat when he dances, and loses weight massively before every competition (much to both Yoongi and Taehyung’s displeasure). He hears the bells chime, and he turns with the skewer hanging from his mouth to see Jungkook shouldering his bag, rushing towards the counter excitedly.

“Yoongi hyung! I want ten… uh, I mean five sticks.”

Jimin looks at Jungkook, waiting for Jungkook to realize he’s there. Jungkook is staring abysmally at his wallet. Jimin had found it hard to forgive both Taehyung and Jungkook for some time, until ironically, Yoongi himself convinced him to.

But it was easy, because although Jimin refused to meet Jungkook at first, Jungkook had given him his bunny smile at their first meeting, and introduced himself earnestly and nervously, saying “I really wanted to meet you, Jimin hyung! Taehyung said you were his best friend ever and you’re a really good person.”

How could Jimin hate him after that?

Yoongi gestures to Jungkook, who turns around, instantly brightening up at the sight of Jimin. “Hyung!! How was your camp? They must have been so impressed by your dance!”

“Always too distracted by lamb skewers to see others,” Jimin teases, patting the seat next to him as Yoongi packs 10 sticks instead of 5. Jungkook sat down, smiling. Jimin continues, “It’s especially tasty today, Yoongi hyung works magic with his hands.”

The maknae’s eyes sparkle, and Jimin could almost see him drool.

“Did you add drugs in it or something? Why is this kid so hooked?” Jimin laughed, patting Jungkook on the head.

“Magic hands,” Yoongi deadpanned, raising one hand to wriggle his fingers, causing the two of them to giggle. They loved it when Yoongi just went along with their antics. “Here. Have fun for your vocal classes, don’t be late.”

“Yes~” Jungkook answers, picking up his bag, waving at both of them “SEE YOU IN SCHOOL TOMORROW!”

School?

“I GOT INTO THE VOCAL DEPARTMENT,” Jungkook screams as he leaves, walking backwards, throwing a fist into the air. It looked ridiculous. The whole situation was ridiculous. “K UNI OH YEAH.”

“Jungkook, you’re younger than us!!!” Jimin protested. He was a year one, shouldn’t Jungkook be in highschool still?”

“What the fuck? How the fuck?” Yoongi gaped.

“LANGUAGE,” Jungkook hollers, grins cheekily, and he’s out the door with no explanation.

“Kim Taehyung didn’t tell me anything!!!” Jimin growled, grabbing his phone and punching in the numbers he knew by heart with a vengeance. “I’m going to get a new best friend!”

Yoongi just shook his head, knowing Jimin was all empty threats.

Chapter Text

Monday arrives, and Namjoon wakes up to find out that Yoongi’s room is empty. Maybe he had earlier classes? It was 10am.

Yesterday Yoongi bought him tteokbokki, placed it on the dining table and told him to eat it, and retreated back into his room, presumably to sleep. (Namjoon didn’t comment on the fact that it was 7pm then). From what he could tell, Yoongi had a very erratic sleep cycle.

And ironically, although Jin told him to make sure that Yoongi eats, Yoongi was the one feeding Namjoon dinner since Namjoon couldn’t touch a pot with a ten feet pole without it exploding, according to Jin. Yeah, he had a great friend. One with lots of faith in him. But he reminded himself to get easy to eat food that wasn’t unhealthy. Maybe some cereal and milk, maybe fruits. Takeout life wasn’t very sustainable.

Bzzzt.

The vibration makes Namjoon perk up, reaching for his phone as he chewed on toast. It was Taehyung, with all the emoticon spams and a ‘Good morning’ and ‘See you in introduction to Korean history’. Namjoon smiled, finding himself looking forward to sharing a class with Taehyung even though he had been so anxious and depressed about being alone for university just a few days back. He quickly texts a good morning message back.

Packing his bag erratically as he was almost late, Namjoon’s bag strap snaps.

“Aw shit!” Namjoon moaned, rushing to his room to get another bag, taking more care to transfer the contents over this time round. He just wanted to live through A MONTH of not breaking anything, but it seemed next to impossible to even do so three days straight.

Making sure to lock the door, Namjoon walks with brisk steps to the university, buzzing with anticipation. He wanted to get to know Taehyung better. He seemed like a great friend, him and Jimin both, with how they came over to wake Yoongi up for work. It might sound a little sad, but Namjoon was really, really envious, and wanted friends like that too.

“GOOD MORNING!!!” Taehyung waved enthusiastically outside the lecture hall, waiting for Namjoon before going in. Some heads turned to look at him, but Taehyung was the poster child of confidence and sunshine, flashing a megawatt smile. Namjoon was appreciative, he always felt awkward looking for someone in a crowd, felt afraid of people looking at him weird while he just stood and stared around. Shaking his head to get his mind away from those thoughts, Namjoon smiled back at Taehyung with gratitude.

“Hey!” Namjoon grinned. “Let’s go in?”

“Yup!” Taehyung pushed himself from the wall, leading the way. He opened the heavy lecture doors with an ‘oof’, and gestured for Namjoon to go in first with a charming grin.

“I’m not a girl,” Namjoon laughed.

“Mm, I’m not into girls,” Taehyung laughed. “But I do this for all my friends. I’m influenced by Yoongi hyung to be nice to friends. Though he’s a lot more subtle.”

Friends. Namjoon’s heart warmed. NO, wait, backtrack, not into girls. Right, Taehyung was dating someone called Jungkook, who he hasn't met yet. Not that Namjoon had problems with homosexuality, because he’s still exploring his own sexuality. He found himself staring at attractive guys much more often than girls. Guys like Jin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Taehyung, Jimin… wait, Christ. Why were all these Korean boys so handsome?? How are they all friends?

“Enter, my tall, destructive friend!” Taehyung laughed, pushing Namjoon who was stoning at the door and holding up the crowd. He flushed when he realized, entering with a slouch to make himself smaller. He found a seat at the back.

“Make space for 1 more!” Taehyung bubbled with enthusiasm. “Chimchim is coming too, I begged him to take it with me.”

Chimchim…?

Seeing the confused look on Namjoon’s face, Taehyung opened his mouth to elaborate, but-

“TAETAE!”

“CHIMCHIM!”

The boy with bright orange hair and an even brighter smile- Park Jimin, his brain supplied- sat down next to Namjoon. He was now caught in between their enthusiastic exchange of handshakes, leaning back to give them space. Jimin turned his kind smile to Namjoon once it was over. “Sorry if I disturbed your sleep yesterday.”

Wow, manners. Not like, uh, taetae.

“I wouldn’t be,” Taehyung shrugged with a cheeky smirk. “We can convert all these night owls into morning birds!”

“Yoongi hyung will kill you,” Jimin laughed, “his sleep is more important than us.” Taehyung pouts like it’s true.

The following lecture was a little distracting as Taehyung insisted on throwing little notes at Jimin, who gave him looks and made faces for him to stop it, yet read every single one and kept giggling even if he didn’t reply. Yeah, it was really hard to concentrate on the war between Japan and Korea when you had 2 giggling boys flanking you.

“Guys,” Namjoon pleaded quietly under his breath. “are you not planning to do well for this module?”

They both blink at him owlishly.

Taehyung snickers again, but Jimin sighs with a smile, elaborating, “Namjoon hyung, this lecture is webcasted, we can just study in our own time.”

“Then why are you here if-“

“I want to hang out with chimchim,” Taehyung whined. Jimin gestures like that’s the answer. Namjoon didn’t get it. This was just unproductive. They could study during lecture time and go out with the 2 hours they saved, instead of sitting in a lecture hall giggling and having to catch up later.

“We can eat lunch with Yoongi hyung after this!” Jimin enthused a little too loudly, garnering ‘shhh’s from the people around them. He made a cute zipping motion over his mouth, sinking down into his seat.

“We will protect hyung from the scum,” Taehyung snarled under his breath, dark all of a sudden.

Namjoon was disoriented from the sudden switch in Taehyung’s personality again. He went from overexcited puppy to bratty kid then serial killer scary in the span of seconds. Jimin smiled at him knowingly and patted Namjoon’s arm, assuring, “Taehyung just has his friends’ best interests at heart. I just hope he doesn’t kill anyone.”

“Mmhm, you, me,” Taehyung pointed at Namjoon and himself, “We fam now. Imma take care of you, brooo.”

“HAHaa…!”

The sudden usage of the English word ‘bro’, heavily accented and drawled, made Namjoon let slip a peal of laughter before he could stop it, and the lecture was suddenly silent, everyone staring at them.

Jimin flushed and smiled awkwardly, and Namjoon simply froze, unsure of what was going to happen. Would they get kicked out? Hated by the lecturer? Or maybe-

“HACHOO!”

Namjoon whipped his head to stare at Taehyung, who covered his mouth with his hands, then waved them around with a dumb grin.

“Hahahue,” Taehyung laughed oddly as he sniffled. “Excuse me.”

Attributing it to Taehyung’s weird antics and/or sickness, the lecture resumed, attention slipping off them rapidly. Taehyung smiled at his more self-conscious friends, giving them a double thumbs up, which Jimin heartily returned. Namjoon found himself giving Taehyung one too, for the save he did.

Taehyung and Jimin toned it down a little afterwards, thank god. It allowed Namjoon to properly take notes. Jimin whispered to him, “I’ll sit beside him next time, hyung. So you’re not stuck between us.” It was pretty sweet, Namjoon supposed. The odd consideration of these Korean boys he’s now friends with.

When the lecture ended, Taehyung was practically bouncing on his feet, repeating under his breath, “Hurry up hurry up hurry up!!” as Namjoon and Jimin packed their things.

“Why are you so excited to see Yoongi hyung?” Jimin laughed, “You literally saw him 2 days back.”

“I love you chimchim, but we had to stay in Daegu to finish highschool while hyung was here! It doesn’t matter if we visited him on weekends, we need to make up for lost time! And also prevent the enemy from stealing him away! He had a year’s head start!!” Taehyung went from excited to sad to determined to enraged in a matter of moments, and Namjoon was just trying to his best to keep up, blinking rapidly.

Jimin seemed perfectly accustomed to his behaviour, just sighed and said, “Hoseok hyung isn’t an enemy.”

“He’s bought you over!!!” Taehyung gaped in horror, clinging onto Namjoon as they walked along the corridors. “Namjoon hyung is my new best friend now!”

Namjoon felt like it might be a bad time, but he hesitantly said, “I’m friends with Hoseok too.”

Taehyung drew back like he had been stung, staring at with a betrayed look. Jimin simply swatted at him for his dramatics, sighing.

And then…

“YOONGI HYUNG!!!!!!!” Taehyung dashed ahead, completely ignoring physics as he slammed right into Yoongi with a crushing hug, causing the two of them to topple over, leaving everyone else gaping at the ball of destruction. Jimin just looked very done with everything as he pulled Namjoon along to join the gaping Hoseok who stood next to the duo on the floor.

“Yah, you crazy motherfucker,” expletives flowed smoothly from Yoongi’s tongue as he grimaced. “That fucking hurts.”

“You okay?” Hoseok leaned down to give a hand, which Yoongi almost took. Then Yoongi was pulled onto his feet by Taehyung, held in his tight grip like a possessive 3 year old would do with their favourite teddy bear. Namjoon couldn’t help but snort at the image, Yoongi looked winded and confused, looking small and cute in Taehyung’s toned arms. Then Yoongi’s sharp eyes were on him, daring him to laugh, and Namjoon pretended to look elsewhere.

“Yoongi hyung is mine!! Go away you slimeball!”

Yoongi had expected many things from Taehyung meeting Hoseok for the first time after high school, so he wasn’t too surprised at the insults thrown. Taehyung had insisted on hissing slurs and glaring at Hoseok whenever they crossed paths in the corridors in high school despite Yoongi’s warnings to let it be.

“Taetae! We’ve been over this!” Jimin hissed, looking very embarrassed and apologetic towards Hoseok. “It’s all in the past now!”

Wow, this was a lot of drama. Namjoon knew that Hoseok and Yoongi had a bad breakup, though he didn’t know the exact details. It seemed like they had mostly resolved their differences, but Taehyung lived with a grudge. Hoseok looked weary and upset, and very very done with the situation.

“I’m protecting him from bad men,” Taehyung protested as Yoongi struggled in his grip to regain his dignity. Unfortunately, Taehyung works out, and Yoongi doesn’t. He was held in a muscular prison.

“Yah-“ Yoongi protested.

“You’re one too Kim Taehyung,” Hoseok narrowed his eyes, spitting the words in his face.

“I didn’t say I wasn’t, but I’m tons better than a fucker that slept around!” Taehyung spat back, and Jimin took it upon himself to pull Yoongi away from Taehyung. He was the more muscular one of them all. Once Yoongi was free, he looked exhausted. He opened his mouth to make them stop, since he was the cause of the fight in a sense- Taehyung was angry for him- but…

“You’re just a rebound,” Hoseok hissed the words like a curse, “And you have no right to talk like that to me when you replaced Yoongi with your new boytoy!”

Hoseok blinked and held a hand over his mouth, looking disgusted at himself for what he just said.

There was a dreadful silence.

Taehyung looked like he had been slapped, face turning red with genuine upset. He pursed his lips like he was holding something back, and opened his mouth, stuttering, “I, I was just, I told, he said, I…Kookie…” Taehyung took a step back, eyes watering. He babbled incomprehensibly, and Jimin was at his side in an instant, whispering to him and rubbing his arms soothingly despite their prior disagreement over Hoseok.

Concerned, Namjoon stepped forward. “Hey hey, both of you, stop. That was too rude.” Even though he was an outsider in this mess, they were going overboard with the verbal insults and feelings were getting hurt here. Plus, they were in public making a scene. So far it sounded like both of them dated Yoongi, he really had lots of questions about that, and they both cheated. Namjoon felt genuinely upset from the knowledge too- a person like Yoongi didn’t deserve that- but he didn’t know the story and it wasn’t his place to judge, it was Yoongi’s, and he was clearly still close friends with Taehyung and Hoseok.

Yoongi stepped in between them, a dark cloud hanging over his face.

“Hoseok, you take that back. Taehyung wasn’t a rebound, and you know it. And don’t call Jungkook a boytoy, or I’ll end you. Jungkook has done nothing to deserve that.”

Hoseok nods, head lowered in shame. “I’m sorry, Yoongi,” he glanced at Taehyung, who looked like a mess, covering his face with his hands as he breathed in large gulps of air. “Uh, Taehyung… I’m sorry for saying that about your boyfriend.”

Yoongi softened slightly as he stepped closer to Taehyung, pulling Taehyung’s hands away from his teary and red face.

“Taehyung, we’ve talked about this, haven’t we? It’s all in the past now. I don’t blame Hoseok, and I don’t blame you. Just like how I don’t blame Jimin, and you understand that, don’t you?” He speaks quietly and gently like to a child. Taehyung nods, askance, and Yoongi continues, “You need to put that guilt down and stop being so protective over me. I don’t need you to make up for anything.”

“But I-, I-… I-I-I,” Taehyung gets tongue tied whenever he’s nervous or upset, and he hates it, hates being a mess where no one could understand him especially when he was young and his parents would scream at him to hurry up or shut up, and he could only blurt out desperately, in Yoongi’s face, “I l-love you.”

Yoongi pulls a tight smile to soothe his dongsaeng, and Jimin just looks very hurt by the whole exchange. Hoseok seems like he’s reflecting upon and blaming himself. It is not a nice scene to see, and Namjoon tries his best to look intimidating and shoo away all the bystanders that wanted to watch the drama unfold. They really shouldn’t have done this in the corridor.

Taehyung is appreciative of Yoongi, because Yoongi is the one that held his hand ever since he was a kid and spoke Taehyung’s thoughts for him when he was in this state, like for the show-and-tell when his favorite teddy bear went missing and Yoongi explained it to the frustrated teacher what happened when Taehyung was punished to stay back after class and didn’t show up to Yoongi’s house. He was made to stay because the teacher thought he didn’t prepare anything when Taehyung was just too nervous in front of the class to say what happened, being a stuttering mess. (Yoongi later bought him the exact same bear with his savings)

“I know,” Yoongi says quietly, thumbs rubbing circular motions on Taehyung’s hands, patient. “You love me a lot and you want the best for me. That’s why you do what you do. But Taehyung, you need to let it go. Hoseok is trying his best to make amends, and I know you and Jimin are too. I’ve forgiven all of you. And I’ll forgive you every time. You’re my favourite dongsaeng, you know?”

Taehyung nods, subdued. His tears have stopped, and he’s the most still and quiet Namjoon has ever seen him. But he’s not choked up anymore, as Yoongi understood what he was trying to say. Yoongi reaches over to pat both Taehyung’s and Jimin’s head, because Jimin hurt just as much as his friends every single time, being the sweet and sensitive person he was.

Then Yoongi looks up at Namjoon with a tired frown. “Can you bring Taehyung and Jimin somewhere and feed them? Let them calm down. I’ll talk to Hoseok and contact you after.”

“O-okay, sure!” Namjoon was surprised that Yoongi was depending on him, but he was also glad that Yoongi trusted him to some extent. Jimin was whispering to Taehyung and holding his hand, and the orange haired boy smiled up at Namjoon with a comforting smile, knowing how awkward it must be for Namjoon to be caught up in the mess.

“Come on,” Jimin says softly, leading the way. Namjoon looks back to see Yoongi talking quietly to Hoseok, placing his hands on the usually bubbly boy’s shoulders and massaging them to calm him down.

Namjoon hadn’t expected this to happen on the first day of the week, but then again, fights like these weren’t usually planned. He just felt really shitty because he could tell Yoongi was genuinely tired and upset that his friends were fighting, hating each other and hating themselves.

Jimin brought them to a quiet café, and he patted Taehyung’s hair softly. Namjoon ordered hot chocolate for all of them, it seemed like the two boys really needed a pick-me-up. He also ordered pizza, but he wasn’t sure if any of them had any appetite.

“Want me to call Jungkook?” Jimin offered, and Taehyung shook his head, fidgeting with his sleeves.

“What… what happened? Why do you hate Hoseok so much?”

Jimin and Taehyung share a look, considering whether to answer or not. Jimin decides that Namjoon ought to know since he’s Yoongi’s roommate and friends with everyone involved. He tells him about his past relationship with Yoongi, and Namjoon listens with surprise, because he didn’t know that Jimin used to date Yoongi too.

He hears about how they got together and became friends. He learns about Jimin’s regrets and guilt, about how he wasn’t mature enough back then to embrace the love he had for Yoongi because he was too scared. Scared of losing his friends, his family, his dance scholarship, and his place in the school.

Namjoon listens, hears about how delicately Yoongi tried to break up with Jimin because Jimin couldn’t do it, hears about how considerate and understanding he was towards Jimin even when he was in pain. Namjoon receives little tiny puzzle pieces that helps him build the image of Yoongi in his mind. He learns that Yoongi puts others before himself, slightly awkward but always thinking of his friends, sometimes at the cost of himself.

He finds out the backstory behind Yoongi and Hoseok, about how Yoongi worked hard to get Hoseok’s attention and they got together but Hoseok carelessly broke his heart on Yoongi’s birthday by cheating, although he didn’t mean to. Yoongi had shut himself away for days, before forgiving Hoseok and teaching Jimin and Taehyung to forgive him too. Namjoon learns that Yoongi was just as sensitive as anyone else, would also be hurt by love, but even then, he took care of the people he loved even if they hurt him. He knows the extent and dedication Yoongi goes to for those that he loved, so being patient with Hoseok and caring for him even when Hoseok had been a bad boyfriend.

As he listens, he finds out more about Yoongi, finds himself awed and impressed and so very sad that someone so sweet like Yoongi had been hurt so much. He shares Jimin’s sentiment that Yoongi didn’t protect and take care of himself, only the people he loved, so Jimin has to be there for him.

Taehyung doesn’t touch the hot chocolate or the pizza, but when Jimin is done telling Namjoon those stories, he starts telling his own.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi wasn’t the same ever since he broke up with Hoseok. Sometimes he would show up to school with dark circles under his eyes, signs of insomnia and relentless rumination of thoughts. At lunch, he would zone out and daydream.

Taehyung hurt just to see him like that. He feels guilt for encouraging Yoongi to get together with that human trash. He knows he loves Yoongi a lot, Yoongi was the person who understood him the most ever since he was a kid. Yoongi was the one who stood up to the bullies in class and shared food with him when his parents didn’t believe that his allowance was taken from him and called him a greedy brat. Yoongi was the best person in the entire world, his childhood friend was practically a saint, so why did God make him go through so much pain with that… that devil? Taehyung stopped believing in the God that his parents told him to believe in.

One day, when he misses Yoongi’s bright laughter in his room, of his scoffing affection and drawled, witty remarks, Taehyung begs him.

“Please, hyung. I love you so much. Please let me show you what love should be like, please let me help you forget that bastard, I can’t stand seeing you like this, I really can’t!” Taehyung wailed. He cries and cries, and Yoongi gave a strange half-smile, like he couldn’t find it in himself to smile, and agreed, wiping his tears away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They went on dates, and Yoongi slowly regained himself, laughing at the sloppy way Taehyung ate icecream ever since he was a kid, wiping his mouth with napkins. He called him a brat with affection when Taehyung stole a kiss behind Jimin’s back, pushing him away without any strength behind it. They went on long bus rides on the night bus when they were stressed and tired, holding hands secretly in the back seats, sharing earpieces as Taehyung hummed to the songs and Yoongi tapped to the rhythm with slender fingers on Taehyung’s thighs.

Taehyung was happy, and he was even happier to see Yoongi happy and back to how he was before Hoseok happened. And then Yoongi graduated, and Taehyung had cried even more than Yoongi or Yoongi’s parents, and he tearfully forced Yoongi to promise to skype him every night when they found out he was admitted into K uni in Seoul.

Taehyung half-forces Jimin to go on weekend trips to Seoul (half because Jimin wanted to see Yoongi, but it was pretty far and cost a fair bit to go every weekend). They spend nights at Seokjin and Yoongi’s shared apartment, watching movies, playing board games(Taehyung likes to complain that only old people like it, but he loved them to death so he played too). They would also get fed with delicacies made from Seokjin’s magic hands, and the fridge was always full with food and juice.

When Jimin and Seokjin are asleep, sometimes Taehyung cuddles with Yoongi on the couch as Yoongi lets him listen to his new songs, or little snippets of music that Yoongi composed but haven’t put together. They sit in the dark, feet intertwined as Yoongi hums, and Taehyung latches on like a giant Koala bear, drawing comfort from the warmth of Yoongi. Sometimes they sit on the balcony, talking in quiet tones over a beer for Yoongi and cola for Taehyung, where it’s mostly Taehyung rambling about school and how lonely it was without Yoongi.

At those moments, Yoongi would smile and stroke his head ever so gently, and whisper, “Hyung is right here.” And Taehyung would feel his chest blossom with affection for this man whom he had known since childhood, who had always been by his side and understood him so quietly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day, Taehyung hears about Yoongi’s part time job. He wanted to surprise Yoongi.

He didn’t expect his breath to be taken away by someone else.

Taehyung couldn’t believe himself, staring at the teen at the table, who was beaming with a shy and toothy smile at him while Yoongi introduced them. There, at the table, sat the most attractive and adorable boy Taehyung had ever met, and somehow, the way their gazes caught each other… it was magnetic. Taehyung couldn’t look away from the depths of those eyes, of the beautiful flush on those cheeks, and his heart was beating, and his mind was screaming at him-

Yoongi.

Taehyung took a visible step back, drawing a deep breath as he spun to look at Yoongi, who had an unreadable expression on his face. Taehyung panicked slightly, wondering if Yoongi noticed the attraction he felt towards this… towards this stranger named…

Jeon Jungkook.

The name settled heavily in his chest.

“Jungkook, this is-“

“I’m T-Taehyung! Yoongi’s-“

“Childhood friend,” Yoongi cut in smoothly, laying a warm hand on Taehyung’s shoulder, rooting him there. Taehyung hadn’t even realized he was shaking slightly. Yoongi turns back to Jungkook with a teasing smirk. “Yah kid, it’s almost time for your academy classes. Get out of my store.”

Jungkook stuck his tongue out at Yoongi like an angry bunny, scrunching his nose. His inquisitive eyes flitted over to Taehyung, who looked away like he was burnt, shifting subtly closer to Yoongi. “Hyung, you don’t even own the store.”

“Hurry up and go do what kids your age do,” Yoongi insisted, using his foot to lightly kick at Jungkook.

“Yeah yeah,” Jungkook rolled his eyes, grabbing his bag as he stood up. He hesitated, then smiled at Taehyung, who tried to put a natural smile on his face as well. “It’s nice to meet you Taehyung uh… hyung? See ya!”

Yoongi pushed Taehyung into the seat that Jungkook just vacated, pouring a glass of water for him and placing it in front of the flustered Taehyung, watching him quietly.

“Have you eaten?”

Hearing the warm Daegu dialect drawled in a gentle tone made Taehyung look up guiltily. “Um, no, not yet. I wanted to see you first.”

“Hyung will feed you, wait for a while, okay?”

Taehyung fidgeted when Yoongi left the table, mind going into overdrive. He had never been as physically attracted to anyone before! How old was that Jungkook guy even? He still had the soft baby face look on him, looking innocent and cute, although Taehyung could tell there was a depth about him… No, he had to stop thinking about it. It would amount to nothing. He had Yoongi. Yoongi was the greatest boyfriend and hyung anyone could ever ask for. He sips on the water for his suddenly dry mouth.

Taehyung tries his best to avoid going to Yoongi’s workplace after that, but Jeon Jungkook still invaded his mind at times. He thinks of how Jungkook’s pupils dilated at the sight of him, and how his mouth fell open slightly before pulling into the cutest smile Taehyung had even seen, and he wondered if he had mirrored the expression himself. Then he thinks of Yoongi, caring, grumpy, gentle Yoongi who had treated him the best he could, in a way Taehyung had never been taken care of in his entire life.

And he hates himself. Hates himself for being like Jung Hoseok. For even doing something mildly like cheating, to have someone else in his thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And yet, as fate would have it, he meets Jungkook again despite his desperate attempts to steer clear of Yoongi’s workplace. Taehyung moves before he thinks.

“YAH! What the fuck are you guys doing!? Leave my friend alone!!”

Jungkook looks up with eyes full of fear and anger from where his collar was held by a delinquent, looking roughed up and bruised on his cheek. Taehyung pushes the delinquent away, dragging Jungkook behind him protectively as he snarled, trying to make himself look more intimidating. The delinquent gang round up on him at once, and Taehyung feels Jungkook’s trembling fingers gripping the back of his shirt, and feels him so close, smells the scent of vanilla.

“Well, what do we have here?” The biggest one of them laughs, and Taehyung sneers at how out of place the blond hair is on such a tan guy. “Take out your wallets now. Both of you.”

“Why should we! I earned it with my own hard work, why don’t you get a part-time job instead of being a useless piece of shit!” Jungkook hollers with false bravado, “I’m going to call the cops!”

Taehyung is a relatively good fighter, from the time he picked up muay thai as a kid, so he roundhouses the big guy before he could land a punch, and he grabs Jungkook, pulling him out of the alley as they broke into a deadass run.

“YAH, GET BACK HERE!”

Taehyung weaves along the alleys, knowledge from the times he had came to visit Yoongi who was too busy at work or with song writing and set off exploring. His mind creates a map in the mazes of Seoul’s intricate city network. Jungkook’s hand is warm and tight in his own as they run away together, adrenaline pumping in their veins.

Taehyung deems it safe when they’re a few streets away in a quiet area. He turns to see Jungkook bent over with his hands on his knees, sweat trailing down from a smooth neck down a milky white collarbone and further in to- Taehyung looks away, swallowing. He fans himself, sweating furiously. He hadn’t run this fast since the sports festival in high school..

“Thanks, Taehyung hyung,” Jungkook heaves, standing back up with his bright grin that crinkled the corners of his eyes, cheeks flaring red with physical exhaustion. He lets go of their joined hands, and Taehyung drew back quickly, surprised that he forgot he was holding hands with Jungkook.

Taehyung swallows again.

“I, uh, wait here. I’ll go get… get something for your cheek.”

When Taehyung comes back, Jungkook smiles at him again with those smiles that should be illegal, leaning on the railing at the side of the street. Jungkook presses the cold can on his cheek, sighing.

“You should have given them the money,” Taehyung nagged as he opened his own can of sparkling apple juice. “What would you do if they hurt you worse than this?”

“Would you have given them the money?” Jungkook protested with a frown. “Money you’ve earned from waking up at 6am to distribute newspapers? If you give it to them once, they’ll think it’s okay and get it again and again from other kids!”

“I wouldn’t,” Taehyung chuckled, impressed by the sense of justice Jungkook had. Even though Jungkook had been afraid, he stood his ground firmly on what he believed in. “But it’s dangerous, Kookie.”

A flush blossoms on Taehyung’s face, mirrored on Jungkook’s own cheeks. Taehyung wants to bite his tongue off for letting the cute nickname he thought suited Jungkook slip.

“Kookie…?”

“Uh, let’s go home! I’ll send you back, it’s not safe,” Taehyung rambles, setting off without a look back. Jungkook catches up easily with his long legs, falling into step next to Taehyung. The narrow street has Jungkook practically glued to his side whenever someone crosses their paths, and the side of Taehyung’s body tingles with warning.

“Yoongi hyung told me lots of things about you,” Jungkook ventured with a shy smile, and Taehyung looks over to see Jungkook’s impossibly long eyelashes fluttering against smooth cheeks. “Good things, of course. And I see that now.”

“A-ah, is that so?”

Yoongi’s name sends a cold wave over him, and he distinctively feels like he’s doing something he shouldn’t be doing.

Most of the walk back was quiet on Taehyung’s end, while Jungkook sang songs quietly under his breath like a siren. Taehyung’s ears were perked up to catch the quiet and soothing notes that Jungkook weaved like a magic spell.

When they were in front of an apartment complex, Jungkook turned around and beamed at Taehyung.

“Thanks again, hyung,” Jungkook shuffled his feet, looking adorably shy. “And, and I don’t mind you calling me Kookie!” Jungkook turns around and practically runs in, but stops at the entrance to wave at Taehyung with flushed cheeks.

Taehyung waves back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung prays to God so that he doesn’t meet Jungkook again, especially when he woke up from a wet dream of Jungkook on Yoongi’s couch. He feels like crying. He wants to be in love with Yoongi. He still is, but what he feels towards Jungkook was something that made him irrational and had his heart stuttering at even the mere thought of him.

But God was a cruel bastard.

That day, a month later when Taehyung was visiting Yoongi without Jimin, and rain drizzled around the subway station, Taehyung sees Jungkook biting his lip and glancing at his watch as he stared out at the raining city. Taehyung feels an inexplicable draw towards the younger boy.

“Kookie, you don’t have an umbrella?”

Jungkook’s side profile was ridiculously charming, and when he turned around and brightened up with pure joy at the sight of Taehyung, Taehyung felt himself falling again.

“Hyung!!” Jungkook steps closer to him, peering at him with shiny eyes. “No, I don’t. I promised I’d get home before dinner, and it’s already 7…”

“I’ll share with you,” Taehyung offers against his conflicting emotions.

They were on the street again, this time standing so close together Taehyung could count Jungkook’s eyelashes. Amazingly, Jungkook liked all the manga and anime he watched, they both played games on steam, they were both playing Pokemon Go and they liked the same music. Taehyung had never ever chatted so long and enjoyably with someone about his interests before.

Taehyung hesitated when they were in front of Jungkook’s apartment block again. Jungkook was staring at him with an emotion Taehyung couldn’t place, looking slightly anxious and worried. Taehyung watched the bob of Jungkook’s adam apple as he swallowed, looking at the cherry red lips- Jungkook must have put on lip balm since they looked so impossible soft-

And Jungkook was kissing him.

Taehyung’s nerves lit ablaze as his nose was filled with the delicious scent of vanilla, and his hands settled around Jungkook’s broad shoulders, kissing him back on the lips that were definitely soft.

Yoongi.

Taehyung pushed Jungkook away with a start, shame filling his chest. The umbrella dropped onto the ground, causing the rain to pelt on both of them. Jungkook looked confused and slightly hurt, and Taehyung was shaking.

“I, I’m sorry!”

Taehyung turned away and ran like the coward he was.

Taehyung didn’t visit Yoongi that day, choosing to go to a computer café before heading home to Daegu. He felt guilty towards Yoongi who knew nothing about this. He felt guilty to Jungkook who didn’t know anything. He could have told Jungkook he was dating Yoongi, but he didn’t. Didn’t Yoongi deserve to know that Taehyung kissed someone else? Or should he keep it a secret and just try to forget about Jungkook? Yoongi didn’t deserve this. Jungkook didn’t deserve this.

But look how that worked out, Kim Taehyung, he thought to himself viciously. A lot of good that did you.

“I love Yoongi, I love Yoongi,” Taehyung chanted to himself, rocking himself on his bed, sniffling as he tugged at his hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung went to visit Yoongi next weekend, putting a smile on his face. He sat with Yoongi on the couch during movie time, with Jimin on his other side. Jimin laughed at random scenes and slapped at Taehyung’s arm, but Taehyung was more subdued, smiling lightly back. The warmth of Yoongi pressed against his side was a constant reminder of how he had fucked up and how he didn’t deserve Yoongi. Yoongi had been through a lot. He couldn’t do this to his hyung, too.

Taehyung frowned a pressed a kiss into Yoongi’s fluffy hair, cuddling closer in a desperate bid to escape his thoughts.

“You big baby,” Yoongi chuckled, throwing an arm around Taehyung so he could be cuddled up to Yoongi’s side fully.

That night, when everyone else was asleep and they were alone on the balcony, with Yoongi looking at him with eyes full of depth and kindness, and they were standing so close they were breathing the same air, Taehyung couldn’t kiss him. Yoongi is regarding him quietly, lifting a calloused hand to rub Taehyung’s cold cheeks.

“I can see your chemistry.”

Taehyung draws back like he was burned, eyes widening. Yoongi drops his hand, eyes on his beer. He sips on it as he waits for Taehyung to put himself together. Tears well up in Taehyung’s eyes, denials sitting at the top of his tongue. He loves Yoongi, goddammit, he really does, and he would jump off a cliff for him, and he could give up on Jungkook for him, it would just take time.

“Jungkook told me what happened,” Yoongi continues at Taehyung’s silence.

“I betrayed you,” the words fall out from Taehyung’s lips, words that plagued his mind ever since that rainy day, and the water slips past his closed eyelids as he steps further back. ”Oh god, he kissed, he kissed me, I k-kissed back, I betrayed you, I’m the worst, I, I’m shit, I- sorrysorrysorry!!“

Yoongi pulls Taehyung away from the edge, concerned at the risk of Taehyung falling over. Yoongi is slightly bitter, yes. He has always loved Taehyung as a person for the longest time, however, and he knows Taehyung wanted to date him out of the same affection. He knows it’s different from the crush that had his heart palpitating at everything Hoseok did, and he knows it’s different from the sweet fondness he had for Jimin.

Everything Kim Taehyung had done for him in the past year, rebuild him into someone who found music again, to have hopes and dreams, to be able to smile, be confident and feel affection and accept physical touches again, Yoongi was thankful for. Yoongi felt like himself again thanks to Taehyung, and although bubbles of doubt sat inside him- that he was someone no one would ever be able to love- Kim Taehyung, his childhood friend for more than half his life, deserved to be happy. And his happiness was within reach. And it wasn’t with Yoongi.

“It’s okay, hyung knows,” Yoongi comforts, rubbing life back into Taehyung’s cold arms.

Tears are falling from Taehyung’s eyes freely, and Yoongi feels crushed that Taehyung is hurting so much for him, for himself and for Jungkook. Taehyung is almost having a panic attack that he never had since he was a kid, breathing in shallow, rapid breaths, wides blown wide and shaking as he clings onto Yoongi’s warm fingers tightly like a lifeline.

“Breathe,” Yoongi said gently, trying to show that he wasn’t angry, he wasn’t upset, even though he was internally, but he didn’t blame Taehyung. Love didn’t work in convenient ways. Love isn’t for everyone. When Taehyung was calmer, he continued. “Jungkook likes you, Taehyung-ah. And you like him too, don’t you?”

“I like you too!” Taehyung blurts out desperately.

“It’s not the same,” Yoongi grimaces, but tries to smooth his facial expression down. “We… let’s break up.”

Taehyung stops breathing. Yoongi looks up, alarmed when Taehyung starts hugging himself, digging his nails into his arms.

“Nonononono,” Taehyung repeats like a mantra, looking at Yoongi keenly. “No! I’m so sorryyy…” He started wailing, and Yoongi was afraid that Jin and Jimin would wake up. Yoongi shushed him, tried to sooth Taehyung by rubbing his shoulders, but Taehyung was inconsolable. “I love you!”

“I know,” Yoongi comforts. “You’re still my favorite dongsaeng, we’ll still see each other, it doesn’t mean that we’re breaking off all contact, Taehyung. Breathe, please breathe.”

“We can all be together,” Taehyung pleads desperately.

“Polyamory is not going to work, Taehyung. I don’t see Jungkook that way, and Jungkook doesn’t see me that way too,” Yoongi explains slowly, hurt and slightly endeared by the way Taehyung was desperately trying to keep them all together in his own way.

“I cheated,” Taehyung sobs, “I’m just like Jung Hoseok.”

“You’re nothing like him,” Yoongi assures, pulling Taehyung into a hug. “In this past year, you’ve taken me to so many dates, you spent all your weekends and pocket money to come visit me, you skype me every night, you text me every day, you loved me a lot, Taehyung.”

The past tense makes Taehyung flinch, hug Yoongi tighter, and sob into his shoulder.

“Thank you for loving me,” Yoongi breaths softly, wishing for everything to go well for Taehyung and Jungkook. Taehyung refuses to let go for a long time, and he eventually cries himself to exhaustion in Yoongi’s arms.

Yoongi had always had an idea of this thing going on between Taehyung and Jungkook ever since the day he introduced them to each other. He let it be because Taehyung seemed to be actively avoiding Jungkook, but he had some expectations that this might have happened. Jungkook didn’t know that Yoongi was dating Taehyung, and Yoongi didn’t say so himself. He wasn’t exactly sure why he stopped Taehyung from introducing himself as Yoongi’s boyfriend.

But that day, when Jungkook entered his workplace utterly crushed, eyes red and sobbing, telling Yoongi about how Taehyung rejected him and being so confused, Yoongi knew. He waited for Taehyung to say something, but Taehyung couldn’t. He watched quietly as his boyfriend suffered through self-hatred and internal conflicts, and didn’t say a thing.

Perhaps he was cruel for doing so. Maybe somewhere inside him, irrationally, he had hoped Taehyung would choose him.

But seeing how much thought and emotion Taehyung had put into the relationship, Yoongi couldn’t help but forgive him, despite originally feeling that it was unfair (they had been doing so well together, Yoongi was prepared to buy a house when Taehyung graduated high school to live together) and betrayed. Taehyung didn’t want to love someone else. But that was how love worked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a quiet that settled over the group heavy as Taehyung sat in gloom.

Namjoon hesitates, he feels like it might not be his place to interfere, but he really wants to help out his new friends (hopefully they are friends now). He might not have gone through the same relationship problems, but he had been through conflicts himself where he doubted, blamed and hated himself. But right now, this wasn’t about him. It was about Taehyung, who honestly seemed like a great person, and a really great friend to Yoongi, despite what he might think.

“Are you happy?”

Namjoon’s voice cut through the silence. Namjoon sees the confusion in Taehyung’s eyes, so he clarifies.

“Is it easier to breathe now? Easier to go through life? Is life more enjoyable?”

Taehyung considers this with red eyes. He watches Namjoon speculatively, wondering why Namjoon was asking him this so earnestly.

Taehyung shared the same wavelength as Jungkook. They often laughed at the same jokes, enjoyed the same hobbies, talked with passion about similar topics, and could joke around all day long, having fun even with nothing in their hands. Being with Jungkook always made Taehyung smile without knowing it, with Jungkook capturing his entire attention, which was quite a feat according to Yoongi as Taehyung could never sit still and focus for long as a kid.

Taehyung enjoys being with Yoongi too, because Yoongi was someone who could get him without even words, allowed him to just be himself, and protected and helped him through all the troubles he ever had in life. Taehyung was fiercely protectively over Yoongi because Yoongi was the one there for him over his own parents, and the fact that he had hurt Yoongi made him even more determined to make sure that Yoongi gets the best out of life which had fucked him over so far.

Taehyung nods slowly, he likes who he is with Jungkook as his boyfriend, and with Jimin and Yoongi as his best friends.

“Then you made the right choice,” Namjoon says loudly with conviction, gripping Taehyung’s hand. “It might have been hard, but you made the right decision.”

“…Really…?” Taehyung whispered, staring at Namjoon keenly, looking like he wanted to do nothing but to believe those words.

“Yes,” Namjoon nodded. “And you didn’t make the decision alone. Yoongi did so too, didn’t he?”

Taehyung nodded again, still slightly hesitant.

“Argh, I can’t stand this anymore,” Jimin whined, breaking the serious atmosphere. “Kim Taehyung! Just eat! Namjoon hyung was so nice to buy us pizza and hot chocolate. It’s your favorite isn’t it! Don’t waste money!”

“I know, I know… Chimchim, you’re so cute when you’re upset,” Taehyung snickered, scratching beneath Jimin’s chin affectionately, and Jimin swatted his hand away without any real heat behind it, glad that Taehyung was back to his usual self.

Taehyung starts shovelling and inhaling the pizza, and Namjoon thinks that everything will be alright.

Chapter Text

Namjoon returned home in the late afternoon after Taehyung and Jimin thanked him profusely for treating them, which he assured them that it was okay since he was the hyung. Taehyung named him bro for life after the long ass ride of the complicated history of Yoongi’s past relationships.

Namjoon really didn’t know how to feel about that. Since he didn’t hear about it from Yoongi himself, it felt as if he had listened to something he shouldn’t have. But, he was glad to know more about his grumpy roommate, as Yoongi has always quietly revealed that he had depths to him through his actions and words, and through what Namjoon hears about him from Yoongi’s friends. He thought Yoongi was pretty cool. He hadn’t met a person like Yoongi before.

Namjoon took off his shoes in the doorway, and entered the living room to see… a Yoongi burrito on the couch. He was dozing wrapped up in his kumamon blanket, which Namjoon has realized was a comfort thing for Yoongi, with only the top half of his head out of the blanket. Brown hair was haphazardly covering Yoongi’s face and the sofa, and his eyebrows were furrowed in his sleep. Yoongi whined quietly in his throat and shifted on the sofa, curling up further. Namjoon felt a pang of protectiveness over his house mate.  

“Take care of him,” Jin had begged him over video chat. “I worry the most about leaving him behind. Make sure he eats.”

Well, Namjoon made a promise. And somehow, however independent and fuck-all Yoongi tried to make himself look like, Namjoon kind of got the idea that Yoongi needed love and affection just like any other person. The way he allows his friends to get close to him and show affection towards him, all the while he pretended to be disgruntled… Namjoon hoped he could do that to Yoongi too.

 He noticed the glowing laptop on the coffee table, and leaned over to close the lid to save the laptop’s battery. That was when he saw the folder full of songs.

Suga- So Far Away.

So Yoongi liked Suga’s songs too?! Namjoon felt a thrill of joy at finding a common interest with Yoongi, and his eyes scanned the screen to see all the tracks he also had in his phone and-

Suga- First Love.

Wait a second.

Namjoon had never seen, or heard about that song before. He moved even closer, fingers hovering over the mouse pad-

“What are you doing?“

Namjoon freaked at the sudden sound, guilt rushing into him at being caught snooping, and his moving backwards made him trip over the corner of the coffee table.

BANG! CLANG!

“OW!”

“SHIT!”

The cup of water on the table clattered onto the ground, water dripping everywhere.

Yoongi struggled to detangle himself from his blanket prison as Namjoon screamed, ignored the pain on his ankle, and lifted the laptop that blacked out with a spluttering sound.

“YAH, YOU!!!” Yoongi screamed with his throaty voice he got when he just woke up. “KIM NAMJOON, THE FUCK?? I didn’t save that shit yet!!”

Namjoon winced at the volume and rage behind Yoongi’s voice, and then with a sudden epiphany, he shouted, “RICE!”

Hugging the laptop to his chest, Namjoon dashed to the kitchen, dragging out the bucket they kept their rice in, and dumped the entire laptop in, scooping rice and throwing it over the laptop to cover it entirely. At this point of time, Yoongi finally managed to get out, bare feet stepping on the wet floor.

“The fuck are you doing?!” Yoongi was squatting next to him now, trying to reach for his laptop, staring at Namjoon like he was insane.

“No, hyung! Rice gets the water out of your laptop! I swear to god!” Namjoon promised, pleading with his mind to all the holy beings out there(despite being an atheist) that this method really worked for laptops. Because Namjoon could definitely vouch for it working for phones. He would know.

Yoongi rubbed a weary hand over his face, and Namjoon felt like Yoongi might start crying.

“Hyung, I’m s-“

“No.”

Yoongi held out his other hand, raising it in Namjoon’s vague location. “I… I worked on that for so long. Are you doing this on purpose? Is anyone actually this clumsy? Why the fucking hell were you even looking at my laptop?!”

Namjoon flushed with guilt and shame. He really didn’t want to cause any more trouble to Yoongi. They all had a hard day with all the drama. Yoongi didn’t deserve any of this. Namjoon wished he had soaked his own laptop with water instead.

“Sorry….”

“You know what,” Yoongi growled, and Namjoon noted with alarm how tear-stained and choked up Yoongi’s voice was. “Fuck this shit. I don’t want to see you right now. Get out.”

Namjoon flinched. “Yoongi…”

“GO!”

Looking at how Yoongi was on the verge of having a breakdown, Namjoon relented. If it was  him, he might have done that same thing Yoongi did.

“Okay.”

Namjoon left Yoongi there on the kitchen floor, as the shorter boy hugged his knees and buried his face in his arms, in front of the bucket of rice. Namjoon bit his lip, feeling his own eyes start to burn. He didn’t mean to do that. He didn’t mean to fuck shit up. Why was he such a fuck-up? Just when he was starting to get along with Yoongi as well as his friends, he had to do something like this again.

Namjoon threw open the door to his room, where his eyes fell onto the shoddy black backpack that broke earlier in the morning, the bag he had used for years, all stitched up on his bed. The sticky note on it read, with beautiful cursive handwriting, ‘Thanks for taking care of Taehyung and Jimin’.

Namjoon’s mouth lets slip a sob now, but he tries to hold himself together as he shoves his things into his bag and suitcase. He had to find a place to stay, for now. Find alternative accommodation. First, a hotel. He had enough money to tide him over for a bit. He folded the sticky note into his wallet. It would be a memory. Another memory of how he was such a failure that he had to leave again.

He takes his things, wears his shoes, and steps out of the house as quietly as he could, closing the door behind him.

-

At first, Yoongi didn’t realize Namjoon was really gone. It took him a few minutes to gather himself together, another few minutes to stare at the rice bucket that contained his laptop, before he fetched his phone to google if rice really worked for water damage. Apparently, it does, so he just had to wait overnight.

Yoongi sighed wearily. He was sleep deprived, socially drained from having a fight in public with him as the cause, and having to play counsellor to Hoseok, but he had been inspired after that and spent hours trying to write his song, but fell asleep without saving the final version. He hoped the last time he saved wasn’t that long ago.

Now that Yoongi was awake and could think again, he considers the possibility that he could have over-reacted. He remembers the tune in his head, he could make it again within another hour or two. It was an accident, Namjoon hadn’t meant to do it. It turns out that his laptop would be fine too. Plus, he actually owed Namjoon one for taking care of his younger friends, so he was kind of being a bastard about this. Having a shitty day wasn’t an excuse to project your aggression onto others. And sewing Namjoon’s broken bag was easy, so it didn’t count. He should buy Namjoon a meal or something.

“Namjoon!” Yoongi hollered awkwardly.

There was complete silence.

“Namjoon-ah, hyung is sorry for overreacting. I’ll buy you kimchi jjigae!”

…

Confused, and a little worried, Yoongi walked over to Namjoon’s room to knock.

“Namjoon?” He turned the doorknob, and the door opened easily. It was still pink themed from when Jin used to stay there, but the desk was strangely empty. Namjoon always had books and pens spread out all over it. With a feeling of dread, Yoongi opened the cupboard to see that it was completely empty.

“Shit.”

Namjoon really left? Yoongi had only meant to tell Namjoon to get out of the kitchen and out of his sight, not to… kick him out of the house.

Did he even have anywhere to go? Jin said that he came from America last minute and had no place to stay! He fucked up.

It was night time too, most shops had already closed. Did Namjoon even bring his phone? He called Namjoon, but it went to voice mail. Shit.

“Aishhh….” Yoongi ran a hand through his hair, irritated at himself. He bit his lip, thinking rapidly. Maybe Namjoon would go find Jimin, Taehyung or Hoseok for shelter? He had to apologize. It wasn’t like Namjoon destroyed things on purpose, and he always tried to fix or make up for it after. He was a good kid, and Yoongi had blown up on him just because he was sleep deprived and had a bad day. Namjoon didn’t deserve that.   

Yoongi texts his friends quickly to briefly mention him having a fight with Namjoon and Namjoon leaving, begging them to let Namjoon stay and contact him immediately if they heard any news. His friends replied him quickly.

Jimin:

WHAT?! Hyung, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you really scream at anyone… ;;;;

Taehyung:

Calm down hyung, I’ll go look for him too!

Hoseok:

Yoongi, want me to come over? I’ll help you look for him!

Yoongi was thankful that his friends always replied so quickly, even though it was close to midnight. He replied them quickly, rushing to grab his jacket and wallet. Perhaps Namjoon hadn’t gone far yet. He could only hope.

-

Namjoon walked through the streets of Seoul, hanging his head as he shoved his way clumsily through the busy streets, as people grumbled at him. He could hear the laughter of teenagers as they hung out with their friends, the loud, enthusiastic conversation between the young adults at the small diners. Right, it was dinner time. Namjoon’s stomach growled, and he sighed.

He had been trying to find a part time job for the past few days with not much luck. Opening his wallet, he saw he had about 20, 000 won (roughly 16usd). He would prefer to not use his bank account until he really needed to, because it was the money his parents sent every month for him to go to university in America, which made him feel really guilty. (And he hadn’t even told them he was back yet.)

Namjoon whipped out his phone, pressing the home screen button rapidly, confused when it didn’t light up. He didn’t drop his phone into water right? Oh… right. He had been out the whole day so he didn’t charge it…

Namjoon groaned. Great. The only friends he knew in Seoul, Hoseok, Jimin and Taehyung… he didn’t even know where they lived. Considering his options rapidly, he decided to go to the pc café for the night. It was cheap, they allowed people to game overnight, and he could buy cup ramen.

He entered the closest pc café the found by chance, and although he got a few odd looks for bringing his luggage in, soon he was settled in a corner in front of the computer, a steaming cup of ramen in front of it. He devoured it hungrily as he switched on the computer, deciding to use facebook to ask Jin if there were cheaper student housing available. What time was it in France even? Shrugging, Namjoon facebook messaged Jin.

Namjoon:

Jin-ah, do you know of any cheap student accommodation in Seoul near the uni?

Namjoon browsed through his newsfeed aimlessly as he waited for the reply. He had the whole night anyway. Amidst all the loud gaming and clicking sounds, Namjoon sat back in his chair, staring at his half eaten noodles. What was he even doing here? His dad had told him that a music career would lead to nothing, told him not to go America because he would have no future there. But he didn’t listen. Maybe it would have been better if he had listened to his parents and became a doctor or lawyer instead.

And Jin, he had been so nice to Namjoon even though Namjoon hadn’t contacted him for a year, set him up with a nice apartment and a nice roommate who fed him and did laundry for him, and forgave him for breaking all those things-until Namjoon really fucked it up by breaking Yoongi’s laptop. Namjoon sighed deeply. And he was just starting to get along well with Yoongi too, getting past Yoongi’s walls. Just slightly, until it shut down again. Yoongi had trusted him enough to take care of Taehyung and Jimin, but he had to betray that trust the very same day.

Feeling choked up, Namjoon grabbed for his noodles, shovelling it down his throat to distract himself from his depressing thoughts. A loud notification sound startled him, and he clicked the conversation tab quickly

Jin:

Are you asking for a friend?

Namjoon:

Um.

I had a fight with Yoongi hyung.

I fucked up by breaking his computer.

Jin:

WHAT.

Namjoon…. :(

Did you apologise?

Namjoon:

He wouldn’t let me.

I think hyung doesn’t like half-hearted apologies

I’m not saying I wasn’t sincerely sorry but

Jin:

Yeah… I get it…

Give him some time! Yoongi doesn’t stay angry for long if it was an accident :)

Namjoon:

Um, I don’t think it’ll work this time…

He told me to get out…

Jin:

Oh.

I.

Hang on, let me check.

I could ask my friend from art class, he’s the dorm head and could open the lounge for you to sleep in for now.

Don’t worry Joonie! I’ll make sure there’s a roof over your head even if I have to fly back!

Namjoon:

Thanks Jin.

But it’s okay if you can’t get permission, I’ll just stay at PC cafes

Jin:

NO.

NO, IT IS NOT SAFE.

I’ll beg my friend if I have to Kim Namjoon.

Just wait.

Namjoon smiled weakly at how motherly and protective Jin could be. He was really lucky to have a friend like Jin that he could depend on. He went onto youtube, plugging on his earphones to play his compiled rap playlist which never failed to calm him. He folded his arms on the desk, resting his head on them as he closed his eyes, listening to the emotional and raw voice of Suga in ‘Nevermind’. Usually it made him feel better, Suga’s music, but today it didn’t help.

About half an hour passed as he browsed the net mindlessly, listening to music and finishing the last of his noodles. Then a hand laid itself on his shoulder, and Namjoon looked up to see Jimin, hair mussed, eyes wide, and a slowly blooming smile on his lips.

“Namjoon hyung! I finally found you!”

Jimin flopped down into the chair next to him, fanning himself and flapping his shirt to cool down. “I won the bet, I told Taetae I could find you first. It’s a good idea looking into PC cafes since they’re cheap, but wow, there’s so many of them in the area.”

“W-what are you doing here?” Namjoon asked him, dumbfounded.

Jimin pouted at him, flicking his forehead. Namjoon winced, still confused. “Yoongi rarely blows up, but you know, he’s a big softy under all that grumpiness. He was so worried about you!”

“Worried?” Namjoon furrowed his brow. He thought Yoongi hated his guts. He would hate himself. He does hate himself for being suck a fuck up. Maybe Jimin was missing part of the memo, because Yoongi screamed at him to get out.

“Yeah! He totally owes me pizza for this,” Jimin continued to pout, spinning in his chair. “Well, I don’t know what happened, but Yoongi doesn’t stay angry. I broke his branded earphones last time and he only slapped me on my arm really hard. You should still apologize and try to avoid doing it again, whatever ‘it’ is. I’m always fighting Tae for the favourite dongsaeng spot, and being Yoongi’s favourite is pretty great. He buys you food, teaches you school stuff, he goes to all your dance performances and he’s there for you even at midnight when you’re crying about your favorite character dying in anime!! Hyung’s really great.”

Jimin’s rambling, and Namjoon still doesn’t really get what’s going on. His mind fights to process what’s going on. If Jimin was here, if he had a bet with Taehyung going on, if he knows about a ‘fight’… Yoongi must have told him what happened.

Jimin stops spinning, looking at Namjoon with a reassuring smile and bright eyes. “He always forgives, even if he doesn’t forget. You just have to make it up to him, he’ll appreciate it. And you totally should have come to me or taetae or hoseok if you have a fight with Yoongi! We’ll always hide you.” Jimin winked at him. 

Jimin, with his bright orange hair, equally bright eyes and smile, sweet words and waves of optimism rolling off him in waves, made the PC room feel surreal. Namjoon feels like the whole situation was surreal, having someone search for him, having someone look so happy to find him, offering him help.

“Well, I… that’s really nice of you, Jimin. I appreciate it.”

“We’re friends aren’t we?” Jimin chirped, nudging him.

“Namjoon!”

Namjoon looked up to see Yoongi rushing towards them. Yoongi was breathing heavily, sweat beaded on his forehead and dripping down his chin, hair messed up and wild from running. At the sight of Yoongi, Jimin hopped off his seat, moving to the background so they could talk it out.

“Hyung! Why…” Namjoon trailed off, shocked at the sight of Yoongi in front of him.

“I…” Yoongi wheezed, coughing.

“Uh, t-take a seat!!” Namjoon gestured next to him, pushing his luggage so that Yoongi could have enough space. Jimin smiled at Namjoon from behind Yoongi, gesturing that he was leaving so they could talk it out between themselves. Namjoon nodded, waving slightly.

Yoongi sat down, not once taking his eyes away from Namjoon. Yoongi looked desperate and earnest, and Namjoon found himself unable to look away. Yoongi took several deep breaths, and placed a pale hand on Namjoon’s thigh. The overheated, damp hand in the coldness of the gaming café made Namjoon very conscious of it.

How long has it been since he felt such a warm touch?

“Namjoon. I-“ Yoongi took in a deep breath. “I’m sorry Namjoon. Please come back. I fucked up. I took it out on you. You’re worth more than a laptop. Please forgive me. Okay, the laptop shit sounds stupid, I just mean you’re worth more than any random object, okay fuck. I’m not talking well. I hate meaningless apologies, so what I mean is… this won’t happen again.”

Namjoon couldn’t believe his ears. “Huh?”

Yoongi swallowed, painfully repeating again, voice raspy from dehydration, “Hyung is really sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I’ve been so stressed lately, but you’ve been just trying you best, joon-ah. I know you didn’t do it on purpose. And you’ve been trying to find a part time job to pay me back for the coffee machine. I know. I’ve seen the circled parts on the newspaper. The laptop is fine, and even if it isn’t, it’s okay. I was so worried about you on the streets, your phone wasn’t even on…”

“Uh… it was out of battery…”

Namjoon almost slapped himself for the words that slipped out of his mouth. For all of Yoongi’s sincerity, he should have answered in a better way. “I…I mean!”

Yoongi looked at him so sincerely that it hurt.

“Hyung, thanks for coming to find me, I mean it,” Namjoon could feel tears welling up in his eyes. It seemed like a miracle in itself that Yoongi wasn’t angry at him, and the fact that he seemed to have ran all over to find him was extremely touching.  No one had ever done something like that for him before. The relief made his tears spill over when he realized he wasn’t being kicked out, he didn’t fuck up that bad, and that Yoongi still forgave him, whether he deserved it or not.

“Ah shit, don’t cry…” Yoongi fretted, looking all over for something to wipe Namjoon’s tears with. Finding nothing, he reached over to wipe Namjoon’s tears with his hands. His voice was gentle as he said, “Let’s go home together?”

“Yes, hyung…”

“Are you hungry?”

“Yes, hyung…”

“Hyung will buy you beef, so stop crying.”

“Yes, hyung...”

Yoongi picked up Namjoon’s luggage, to his protest. “I can get that myself!”

“Let me act like a hyung today, I’ve been like a brat to you so far,” Yoongi grinned, walking ahead with the luggage, leaving Namjoon to run after him. “Let’s go joon-ah~”

Yoongi’s warm voice changed the cold, lonely streets of Seoul. Now somehow, it seemed like everything was bright under streetlights and little restaurants, and everyone around seemed to be with someone else, chatting, joking and laughing. His shorter hyung navigated the narrow streets with ease despite dragging the luggage, turning back occasionally to check if Namjoon was following. Namjoon follows Yoongi like a lifeline, because honestly, that’s what Yoongi felt like right now. He was so grateful that Yoongi was so kind and forgiving.

“Oh right, I need to tell the other kids I’ve found you so they can stop searching.”

Yoongi whipped his phone out, rapidly sending out texts, telling Taehyung and Hoseok to stop searching while replying Jimin who asked if everything was fine. And shit, Jin was blowing up his phone with insults. He texted him too to tell him that everything was fine.

Namjoon, knowing that Yoongi who hated exercise to the core ran about Seoul to search for him already made his heart hurt with guilt and gratitude, and now the fact that the whole squad had been activated to find him… He sniffled loudly, wiping at his face roughly.

“Yah, stop crying, I’m really, really sorry, okay? Let’s just try our best together from now on. Both of us might fuck up here and there, but just know that I’ll never kick you out, okay? You’re a good person, Namjoon.”

The warm words that flowed from Yoongi’s mouth were the most touching he’s ever heard in his life. No one gave him a chance like this. No one affirmed him like this, accepting him even with his fuckups and mishaps. People gave up, ostracized him, but Yoongi… Yoongi promised to keep trying. With him.

“You really should listen to your hyung,” Yoongi pouted, pulling Namjoon into the bbq restaurant. He put the luggage next to their table, made Namjoon sit down, and started wiping away at Namjoon’s tears again with unfairly warm hands that soothed his cold cheeks. “Let’s restart, okay? Pretend I’m not such as bastard and let’s be friends again.”

“If you pretend I didn’t fuck up all those times,” Namjoon sniffled.

“You didn’t fuck up anything,” Yoongi promised, eyes mischievous. “But, what’s your name again?”

Catching on, Namjoon smiled back, eyes red. “I’m. Kim Namjoon.”

“Min Yoongi. Second year in K Uni, studying music.”

“I’m a first year in K Uni, studying history. I um, studied music in America for a year.”

 “Daebak, wasn’t it scary going there? Do you speak English?”

It was amusing to see Yoongi pretending it was their first time meeting, and he watched as Yoongi smiled at him before raising his hand to call the waiter over so they could start on their meat party. It felt a little like those blind dating shows Namjoon watched in America on trashy channels, and the thought of it made him cough a little. Yoongi instantly placed a cup of water in front of him, always attentive towards his dongsaengs.

“Well, I was really nervous when I first went. I do speak English, but uh… people told me my accent is…” Namjoon felt his own smile going lopsided and weird. Oh no.

If Yoongi noticed, he didn’t say anything about it. “I want to listen.”

“Really? Right now?” Namjoon flushed a little, looking around.

“It’s okay, I promise I won’t laugh,” but Yoongi was already laughing as he placed meat on the grill, the sound of the sizzle mouth-watering. Yoongi was good at it, laying pieces of meat side by side, flipping them periodically.

“Oh um…” Namjoon did a weird shaky hand thing in the air towards the grill, and strangely, Yoongi understood him. Then again, Yoongi interpreted Taehyung on a daily basis. He was the younger one, he should be doing it. He felt like he should be offering to do it out of politeness.

“I’ve got it, let hyung feed you, you just have to sit there and tell me about yourself,” Yoongi mused. “Come on, you wanna hear how bad my English is? You’d be God level, I assure you. My nameu issu… Min Yoon Gi.”

That had Namjoon laughing. It wasn’t really bad, per say, but Yoongi had a little drawl in his English, heavily accented with Korean, and it was kind of cute. Yoongi eyed him knowingly, completely not offended. “Come on, I did it, it’s your turn.”

Namjoon took in a deep breath, resolving yourself. “Okay so um. My name is Namjoon, and… damn, that meat looks good.”

Namjoon gave a little unsure smile at the end, feeling embarrassed. Yoongi was watching him with widened eyes, clearly impressed.

“No idea what you said after your name, but I think I can guess from where you’re looking,” Yoongi grinned, serving Namjoon some pieces of meat. “Eat up. Be careful it’s hot. You deserve it.”

Namjoon didn’t need telling twice, he bit into the meat and moaned at how good it was. Fuck, Yoongi was some master griller or some shit. Yoongi watched Namjoon did in with pride, because yes, he was the boss at grilling meat. He didn’t work an entire year at a lamb skewer restaurant for nothing.

“Your accent is great, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Yoongi gave a little frown. “It reminds me of like, those narrators in English movies with the really deep voices.”

“Well, not good enough for America,” Namjoon shrugged.

“America elected Donald Trump, fuck America. You think they’re good judges of anything?” Yoongi jibed. “And it’s not like English is your first language. I think it’s impressive how much you’ve learnt. I can barely hear any Korean accent left.”

“Thanks hyung,” Namjoon was very self-conscious about his English voice. He scratched the back of his neck unsurely.

“Like, your voice reminds me of this rapper I like. He’s Korean but lives in America, and he posts stuff on soundcloud sometimes. In both Korean and English. Rap monster. You know him?” Yoongi looked happy to share his interests.

“Uh… what?” Namjoon doubted his own ears.

“Rap monster,” Yoongi repeated, pulling his phone out. “I’ll play you one of his songs. Like damn, he’s so fucking talented. This is “Do You”. The use of the metronome and spray can sound so damn catchy, you’ll find your head bopping along to it.”

Namjoon sat there, eyes wide in disbelief when the song played even though he knew he was rap monster. He stared at the phone, then looked up to see Yoongi really bopping his head, and before he knew it, Yoongi started to rap along to his lyrics, familiar with the lyrics in a way that was both flattering and embarrassing. Yoongi’s vocal tone was unique and somehow familiar.

He could remember sleepless weeks working on the song, so much that the metronome sound branded itself into his head and he could hear it when he tried to sleep, failing to do so. He worked and reworked the music, trying his best to match his pronunciation, being dissatisfied with it again and again. He submitted it for class and got an average grade after peer ratings, even though he thought it turned out to be one of his best works. It was discouraging, since it seemed like songs rapping about drugs and sex were the ones that were popular and got better ratings. It was ironic that this was the turning point where he decided rapping in America would be impossible for him and dropped out of school, since it was titled ‘Do You’… since being himself was not good enough.

But here, watching Yoongi rap and gesture, words falling out of his mouth smoothly in Korean, and then with his drawling English accent during the English parts, eyes bright and euphoric as he enjoyed the song… Namjoon felt like crying again. He felt like he was being saved.

Despite having quite a few followers and fans on his soundcloud, he always felt his music wasn’t really appreciated or good enough as it always got rejected by his teachers to re-work on and received poor ratings from some of his peers. The comments were always the same- his accent was too thick, his music was too Korean, he should just go back to his own country if he wanted to rap in Korean in America. He tried to make a fully English rap too, but that too wasn’t well received. People laughed at some of the mistakes he made as he wasn’t a native speaker.

Yoongi moved his hands in excited little gestures as he rapped, acting like it was a genuine performance for his audience of one, not knowing how touched Namjoon felt right now. For a moment, the restaurant and Seoul itself faded into the background, his attention focused solely on the boy in front of him who rapped with a passion, with a simple joy that made Namjoon ache as he recalled what made him want to rap in the first place.

“Wasn’t it really catchy and amazing?” Yoongi asked a little breathlessly, reaching for a glass of water, promptly chugging it.  

“Do you… really think so?” Namjoon asked in disbelief, feeling a little breathless himself.

“Yeah! You don’t think so?” Yoongi pouted, reaching up to ruffle his own hair, the loose strands of brown hair fluttering to lay on his head softly and fluffily. Namjoon watched the movement. It was slow and gentle, like falling feathers.

“I… I think it’s amazing,” Namjoon swallowed, staring at Yoongi. It’s amazing that Yoongi found his account. Amazing that Yoongi liked his song. Amazing that Yoongi knew all of the lyrics. Amazing that Namjoon felt like he would be able to love this song that he always felt was not good enough.

“Right??” Yoongi grinned, small eyes forming into crescents, his whole atmosphere changing. He seemed relaxed and content to be here with Namjoon, heaping his plate with mountains of meat, sharing the things he liked. “Yah, eat more, there’s a lot more coming.”

“Yes hyung,” Namjoon replied with a warm smile of his own, feeling comforted and peaceful in this moment. The streets of Seoul felt like home in this moment with the smell of meat cooking, the soft bustle of the background, and Yoongi who took care of him like a dongsaeng. Yoongi watched him eat with pride, and Namjoon found it cute how Yoongi derived pleasure from taking care of others.

“It’s tasty, isn’t it?” Yoongi bragged in a joking manner, and Namjoon felt compelled to play along, grinning at his hyung’s bratty behaviour.

“Yeah yeah, it’s like, the best meat I’ve ever eaten in my life. Hyung is the best.”

“That’s right, and you better remember that,” Yoongi puffed himself up proudly. “All of you brats eat like you’ve never eaten food for days. But Jeon Jungkook is the worst.”

“Why?” Namjoon mumbled around a mouthful of meat wrapped in vegetables.

“I took him to this all you can eat place one, he nearly finished rows of food by himself. We got chased out. Of an all you can eat place. Can you believe that? And he’s just like, ‘hyung, I’m a growing boy, I need food’,” Yoongi mimicked in a high and whiny tone, making Namjoon snort in amusement.

“My god, that somehow reminds me of Jin. ‘Namjoon-ah, eat your vegetables. Don’t you dare pick that cherry tomato out of your food, I’m watching you. Do you know how hard farmers worked to get that little red thing on your plate?’” Namjoon tried his best to act like Jin, failing miserably. He barked a laugh, shaking his head fondly and nostalgically. Jin was one of the best friends he would ever have.

“RIGHT?!” Yoongi gaped in another moment of connection, gesturing wildly. “He’s always cutting up fruits and making salads and forcing me to eat them. ‘Yoongi-ah, if you don’t get proper nutrition, one day you won’t be able to get out of bed.’ And I said, that’s my ideal life, and he slapped me on my arm so hard!

“Ow, Jin slaps really hard,” Namjoon laughed, “This one time we went to the zoo for a field trip and he slapped me like, 20 times because he saw an alpaca. I don’t even know why he likes alpacas so much but he has a plushie family.”

“He eats like one too,” Yoongi remarked, mimicking the munching Jin does. Namjoon burst out in laughter, slapping his thigh at the impersonation, and Yoongi grinned at him cheekily, eyes glimmering in amusement. And ah, now he could see why Yoongi was friends with the other boys. Yoongi had a great sense of humour when he was in a good mood, and even now he was refilling Namjoon’s cup and making sure he had plenty to eat and drink. He was kind and caring, understanding, and… he’s just a really cool hyung.

“Thanks hyung,” Namjoon gave a dimpled smile in appreciation.

Yoongi blinked at him owlishly. “What for?” His eyes fixated on the dimple.

“Just… everything,” Namjoon explained sheepishly. “You’re a great hyung, I can see why Jimin and Taehyung love you so much.”

To Namjoon’s great surprise, Yoongi turned a little red, dropping his eyes. “Aish, don’t say corny things like that,” he pursed his lips, covering his face with his slightly curled hands, sighing. It was so different from the Yoongi moments before that was bragging about his grilling skills, Namjoon couldn’t help but smile at the gap contrast. It was cute to see that Yoongi got embarrassed over praises about his character. He was getting to see so many different sides of Yoongi, and somehow, every new side of Yoongi just made Yoongi seem like a better person.

Namjoon briefly wondered what Yoongi thought of him. Did Yoongi think of him as a good person too?

“Sometimes I think they love me too much,” Yoongi finally removed his hands after schooling his expression, a little wry smile on his face that was too fond, revealing what he really thought of his dongsaengs. He clearly loved them a lot too. It was sweet to see.

“It’s because you love them a lot too.”

“Ahhh, s.t.o.p,” Yoongi groaned, “Namjoon, eat. Come on, say ‘ah’.” Yoongi grabbed the last piece of meat with his chopsticks, lifting it in front of the other boy. Namjoon snickered, leaning forward to eat it, promptly shutting up. Yoongi called for the bill and paid despite his attempts to pay for his own portion, saying “Yah, shut up and let hyung feed you.” But still, Yoongi was probably working part-time to earn his own school fees, and Namjoon felt bad.

“I’ll buy you coffee next time,” Namjoon promised on the way home, and Yoongi grinned at him, dragging Namjoon’s luggage behind him.

“Kim Namjoon, are you buying me over?”

“What? Hyung! You bought me like, 5 people’s portion of meat! I have to pay you back somehow.”

“Right, so are you won over?” Yoongi asked cheekily. “Forgiven me yet?”

 Oh, he was won over ages ago. Yoongi was a great person.

“Yeah I am, and I have,” Namjoon replied honestly, and Yoongi’s expression slips for just a second, watching Namjoon closely in deep thought.

“Yeah?” Yoongi mused, turning away, brows furrowed.

The rest of the walk home was spent in companionable silence, their bellies full and warm, the night air cooling against their chilled cheeks as they walked side by side, the sound of wheels rolling on gravel accompanying them home as Yoongi pulled his luggage. They were going home.