Work Text:
I.
It was one of the coldest winter days Korea’s seen in a long time. Fat snowflakes were covering everything, falling from the sky in an almost zealous frenzy. Yoongi trailed behind the rest of the boys as they were all speed-walking back to their dorm, desperate for dry socks and some of Jin’s hot chocolate. They were all bone-weary and tired from a day of learning their new complicated dance routine, and Yoongi could practically feel his joints creaking like an old wooden door with every step he took. They were all bundled up in large coats and fluffy beanies and thick woolen scarves, but even still Yoongi could feel the cold through his many layers.
Yoongi huffed and sped up his pace, getting to the front of the group to walk beside Hoseok, who disliked the cold the most out of all of them.
“I’ve never been so cold in my entire life,” Hoseok said dramatically from underneath his scarf, his voice muffled. “I feel like my ears are gonna freeze off.”
Yoongi was too cold to say anything in response, but made a mental note to get Hobi earmuffs for Christmas.
The dorm was finally in sight, and Jungkook and Taehyung suddenly rushed forward, racing to get to the building first. They all piled into their home, discarding their soggy coats and scarves over the back of the couch, sighing in relief as they thawed. Yoongi could feel heat returning to his cheeks, and his fingers tingled as warmth ate its way back into his hands. Jin moved to the kitchen to make the hot chocolate he promised them, and the rest of them moved to collapse on the couch.
Once they were all settled, Yoongi noticed someone missing.
“Guys...where’s Jimin?”
Namjoon looked up from his phone, then towards the front door, as if expecting Jimin to be standing there.
“I was just walking with him...did he not come in?” Namjoon said.
Both Namjoon and Jimin found the snow beautiful, so the two often went on walks together whenever the winter season swept over Korea like a brush covered in white paint.
“Jimin-ah?” Taehyung called, getting up and heading towards the bathroom to see if he was in there. He pushed the door open, but it was empty.
Yoongi stood up, fear creeping into his veins.
“Jimin hyung??” Jungkook was striding towards Jimin’s room now, but it was also empty.
“He’s not answering his phone,” Hoseok breathed, eyes going wide.
“Shit,” Yoongi strode towards the front door, grabbing his coat along the way and shoving it back on.
Namjoon was right behind him, and Yoongi could hear their leader telling the others to stay there and wait to see if Jimin returned while they were out looking. Fear was etched onto all of their faces, and though Yoongi tried to remain calm, his heart was beating so quickly he could feel his own pulse fluttering like a hummingbird in his neck.
Right as Yoongi reached to yank the door open, bracing himself for the bitter cold again, it opened on its own, and Jimin stumbled in.
In just his thin knit sweater and black skinny jeans.
Yoongi half-caught Jimin in his arms, and the boy’s skin was so cold under Yoongi’s hands he almost flinched back.
“Jimin!”
Jimin’s lips were blue, eyes half-lidded, and he was shivering so hard they felt more like shudders. His hair was dripping wet from the melting snow, and patches of his sweater had sizable chunks of ice forming on the knit material.
“What the hell happened to your coat? Did someone mug you?” Namjoon already had his coat back off and was trying to wrap it around the boy, but it did nothing to soothe Jimin’s harsh tremors.
“Fuck, Jin hyung, run a hot bath,” Yoongi said, as he led Jimin over to the couch.
“I-I’m fi-ine,” Jimin stuttered, pulling Namjoon’s coat tighter around himself with shaking hands.
“You’re not fine, your lips are blue, shit, fuck,” Yoongi rambled, running his hands up and down Jimin’s slender arms, wanting to just pull the boy in-between his legs and completely encompass him in order to share as much body heat as possible.
“H-hyung,” Jimin started, but then an especially violent tremor wracked through his form and he stopped talking.
Jin ran out and pulled Jimin from Yoongi, rambling that the bath was ready, and “Yoongi make some tea don’t just stand there like an idiot,” so Yoongi rolled his eyes and moved to the kitchen, pulling out the chrysanthemum tea that was Jimin’s favorite. But he didn’t let his eyes stray from Jimin until Jin shut the bathroom door behind them, and he heard water sloshing as Jimin got into the tub.
An hour later, Jimin was bundled up in three sweaters and four blankets, clutching his second mug of tea. His nose was already bright red and congested, and he kept sneezing so violently he almost spilled tea on himself four times in the past ten minutes.
“So what happened? Who took your coat, who do I have to beat up, hyung?” Jungkook was pacing the length of the living room.
Jimin sighed and rolled his eyes.
“For the last time, you guys, nobody is beating up anybody. No one took my coat.”
“Stop lying! I know for sure you had it on when we left the studio today!” Taehyung pointed an accusatory finger at his friend.
Jimin just shrugged, keeping his eyes downcast.
“Jiminie,” Yoongi used his stern I’m-your-hyung-so-you-better-answer-me voice that he rarely had to use with Jimin -- it was mostly reserved for Taehyung and Jungkook when they got too rowdy while Yoongi was trying to rest somewhere nearby. “Tell us what happened.”
With a huff, Jimin set his mug of tea down and crossed his arms defiantly across his chest.
“I gave it away,” he finally mumbled.
Hoseok cocked his head to the right like a puppy.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I gave it away! My coat and my hat and my scarf and my gloves! I gave them away because there was this homeless woman sitting in one of the alleys and she looked so cold and when I approached her I saw that she was holding a dog who also looked cold and I knew I had more coats at home so she needed it more than I did! And so I just gave them to her and I thought I’d be able to make it the whole walk home and be okay but it was colder than I thought it’d be, but imagine how long she’s been sitting out in it, so I don’t regret doing it but I know you hyungs are going to scold me so just get it over with so I can go lay down and sleep!”
By the end of his rant, tears were brimming his eyes, and his fists were clenched on his thighs.
When no one said anything, Jimin sneezed and then hiccuped, a little tear falling from his left eye.
“Her dog was really cute.”
At that, everybody lost their worry and frustration towards him, and with a couple groans of “Jiminieeee, you’re too pure for this world,” (Hoseok) and “What kind of dog was it?” (Taehyung) and “Jimin-ah, you’re so cute, I love you” (Jin), they all piled on top of him in a large group hug.
And as Yoongi stared at Jimin’s flushed and relieved face, that was the first time.
The first time he realized he felt a little bit more than friendship towards this beautiful, selfless boy.
II.
The thing was, Jimin got a bit grumpy sometimes. Which is normal for everybody, of course, especially for someone who has as busy of a work schedule as Jimin and the rest of the boys. But Jimin’s eye-smiles and bright peals of laughter were so contagious and seemingly constant that it always threw Yoongi and the rest of the boys for a loop when Jimin went into one of his ‘moods’.
It typically always happened before comebacks, when Jimin put extra pressure on himself to get the choreography perfect, to diet a little more strictly, to sing that much more perfectly.
“Jimin-ah, would you like some strawberries in your oatmeal? I’m cutting Namjoon some right now,” Jin sang as he passed by their dining table to walk to the kitchen.
“I hate strawberries,” Jimin huffed, stabbing his oatmeal with his spoon a little more violently than necessary.
Taehyung, who is arguably the most attuned to Jimin, immediately looked up from his own breakfast.
“No you don’t, you and I ate two whole cases of them in the summer,” Taehyung said.
Jimin rolled his eyes.
“Yes, in the summer. It’s winter. Everybody knows that strawberries in the winter are just going to be sour and hard and disgusting.”
Jimin could also be a bit of a brat when he was grumpy like this.
Jin came back and dumped a handful of halved strawberries into his and Namjoon’s bowls, and sat down with a sigh.
“That’s fine, Jiminie, you don’t have to eat the strawberries if you don’t want to.”
Later that day, after a particularly grueling dance rehearsal, Yoongi could tell Jimin was about to snap. His face twitched in annoyance every time they had to start from the top, and while Taehyung and Jungkook played during the breaks, Jimin sat on his phone with his earbuds in to block out all the noise.
When Jimin got in these moods, he was almost like a baby in Yoongi’s eyes. When he got too hungry or too tired or too sleepy, which all of them were definitely all of those things at the moment, he would get crankier and crankier until he exploded.
And during their last run-through of the choreography, Jimin somehow tripped over one of Namjoon’s (in Yoongi’s opinion) freakishly long legs and fell to the floor, hard.
“Jimin!” Yoongi was the first to the boy’s side, as he had been keeping an eye on Jimin and saw the whole accident happen. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
“Yah, Joonie hyung, be careful,” Taehyung gently chided Namjoon, who was frantic with guilt.
“I’m sorry, Jiminie, I’m sorry, it’s my fault,” Namjoon squatted down next to Yoongi.
There was a small sniffle.
Uh-oh.
Then suddenly, Jimin let out a loud wail.
“Hyung !” he cried out.
Yoongi didn’t know if he was calling to one of his hyungs for comfort or screaming at Namjoon for tripping him, but he pulled Jimin into his arms anyway.
“It’s okay, you’re okay, Jiminie, Namjoon is sorry,” Yoongi rubbed the boy’s back comfortingly.
“Go home for today and rest, then,” their dance instructor turned off the music. “If Jimin’s gone this deeply into one of his moods, you all must be worked to the bone.”
They all nodded, and on the walk home Namjoon held Jimin’s hand the whole way there in apology.
That night, after they were all showered and full from dinner, Yoongi was sitting on the couch in the living room reading.
He heard footsteps pad over to the room he shared with Jin, and he looked up in time to see Jimin peeking into it.
“Jin hyung?” Jimin called. “Are you sleeping?”
“No, I’m not. Is something wrong?”
Yoongi saw Jimin shuffle his feet. “No... I just wanted to apologize. For yelling at you this morning. I shouldn’t have. It was...mean of me.”
Yoongi saw Jin get up from his bed to affectionately ruffle Jimin’s hair.
“Aish, this kid. It’s okay, Jimin. We all know you get stressed before comebacks. Hyung’s not mad.”
Afterwards, Yoongi heard Jimin pad over to Namjoon and Taehyung’s room, and he apologized to Namjoon for tripping over his leg.
“It was 100% my fault, Jimin,” Namjoon laughed. “God of destruction and all that, right? I’m just glad you’re okay.”
Then, Jimin wandered over to Yoongi, and all but collapsed with his head in Yoongi’s lap. Yoongi put down his book but didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry for being a brat all day,” Jimin whispered, his eyes fluttering shut.
Yoongi huffed out a laugh and carded his fingers through Jimin’s hair. He loved how at the end of the day, Jimin always gravitated towards Yoongi for comfort. Because no matter how terrible Jimin acted in his stress-induced moods, he always went back to being the sweet and loving Jimin they all knew.
But, Yoongi realized, he would take Jimin either way.
‘Shit’, Yoongi thought to himself as he watched his pale fingers pet through Jimin’s dark hair. ‘I’m so damn whipped.’
III.
Often before comebacks, Yoongi sometimes forgot to eat. And sleep. And drink water. And, basically, do anything other than write and record and dance.
As he came back to the dorm near 5 in the morning, Yoongi was feeling especially satisfied with himself, because he had just completed his part for Cypher V. He couldn’t wait to perform it with Namjoon and Hoseok, knowing that the vocal line would be rapping along enthusiastically backstage, as the members always did when their bandmates had time on-stage without them.
“Yoongi hyung.”
“Holy-- Jimin, you scared me,” Yoongi jumped, looking over to see Jimin sitting on the couch.
“It’s almost morning.”
“I was in the studio,” Yoongi bent down to take off his shoes.
“We need to be up in two hours to get to dance,” Jimin said.
Yoongi sighed. “Don’t worry, Jimin. I’ll be fine.”
Jimin said nothing, but walked over to Yoongi to carry his bag to his room for him.
As always, on the mornings after Yoongi comes home late from the studio, Jin always prepares him breakfast and leaves it on his bedside table so he could sleep in a little more and then eat as he got ready.
Yoongi woke up that morning to a steaming omelette and a cup of black coffee, and he groaned out loud in appreciation at his first sip of the bitter liquid.
“Thank you, Jin hyung,” he whispered to himself. The elder’s bed was already made, and he could hear his hyung laughing out in the dining room with the rest of the boys.
Later that afternoon, Yoongi reached into his bag after recording to grab his water bottle, and instead found four of his favorite snacks piled inside of it. Yoongi smiled and shook his head, snatching one out and biting into it.
‘Jin is more of an eomma than actual moms out there,’ Yoongi thought.
This occurred for the next three days -- fresh breakfasts, little notes stuck in his planner that reminded him to eat well, his favorite snacks falling out of his dance bag. During the third night, Jin was still awake at 3 in the morning when Yoongi got home, so Yoongi rolled over to face his hyung.
“Thanks for all the things you’ve been doing lately, hyung,” Yoongi said. “But you don’t need to go out of your way.”
“Hmm?” Jin was already half-asleep. “What’re you talking about?”
“You know. The breakfasts and the notes and the snacks left in all my bags.”
“…That wasn’t me,” Jin said.
Yoongi blinked twice in the dark.
“...Are you sure?”
Jin laughed. “I’m quite sure, Yoongi. But I have been seeing a little birdy sneak into our room every morning to deliver your breakfast.”
The next morning, Yoongi was awake before the rest of the boys. He laid in the warmth of his bed and waited.
Yoongi watched with hooded eyes as their room door creaked open, and Jimin tip-toed in in his oversized sweater and sweats, carrying a cup of coffee and a bowl of fresh fruit.
It was still early enough that the sun wasn’t up yet, so Jimin couldn’t see that Yoongi’s eyes were open and trained on him.
When the boy got close enough to set the food down on Yoongi’s beside table, Yoongi shut his eyes and evened out his breathing. He felt Jimin linger near his bed, then, ever so slowly, small fingers carded through his hair, once, twice.
Then he heard the door click shut, and for a moment Yoongi felt the urge to cry. He loved Jimin. He loved Jimin so much he wanted to call up the stars and tell them that they were missing their gentlest, kindest, brightest brother.
But don’t worry, Yoongi would reassure them. He’s very much loved down here.
IV.
It was a well-known fact that Jimin was the most observant of the group. If Jungkook was ever overwhelmed, Jimin would know before the maknae himself knew, coming to the youngest member’s room with tea at night. If Taehyung was quieter than usual during an interview, Jimin would pay extra attention to him and bring him back out of his shell. If Namjoon ever felt discouraged while working on a song, Jimin would stay in the studio with him and help brainstorm lyrics.
He did all these little things to make sure the other members were okay, trying to fix their problems before they themselves were even aware that they had a problem. And Jimin was good at it. He was so good and attentive and kind and Yoongi would definitely say that without him, their group would be a lot more chaotic and confused and messy.
The problem was, Jimin was sometimes so wrapped up in taking care of others that he forgot to take care of himself.
“Shower first, Hobi hyung,” Jimin said, collapsing on the couch after the dance line got home from practice. The rest of them were already home, and Yoongi looked up at Jimin, who was already seemingly asleep on the cushion next to him.
“Tough day?” Jin asked.
“Mmm,” Jimin grunted.
Thirty minutes later, both Hoseok and Jungkook had showered, and most of the boys had retired to their respected rooms, but Yoongi was still up writing on the couch. And, not that he would admit it, but he was also staring at Jimin’s sleeping face at the same time.
“Jimin-ah,” Yoongi stood up and walked over to the boy. “It’s your turn to shower.”
“Mmm,” Jimin whined. “I’ll shower in the morning.”
“We’re leaving at 5 tomorrow, you’ll be too tired. It’d be better to shower now,” Yoongi said.
Jimin huffed, but stumbled to the bathroom and gently shut the door. Seconds later, Yoongi heard the shower turn on. Yoongi went to the kitchen to make himself a mug of tea. As he stood waiting for the water to boil, he heard a loud crash in the bathroom.
“Jimin?” Yoongi walked to the closed bathroom door and waited outside. “Are you okay?”
No response.
“Jimin-ah,” Yoongi knocked loudly to be heard over the spray. “What was that noise?”
After more silence, Yoongi’s heart picked up. He tried the doorknob, but it was locked.
“Jimin!” he shouted. “Open the door!”
“Hyung? What’s happening?” Namjoon poked his head out from his room.
“I heard a loud crash in the bathroom and now Jimin’s not responding, I think he might have fallen in the shower and I can’t get the door open and--” Yoongi cut off his own rambling, trying with all his might to get the locked door open.
“Jungkook!” Namjoon gently shoved Yoongi aside as he called for their youngest, who was (much to Yoongi and the rest of their dismay) also their strongest.
Together, Namjoon and Jungkook rammed into the door with their shoulders, and their combined force had the door flying open after the fourth attempt.
“Jimin!” the three of them rushed into the bathroom and found Jimin laying in the bathtub, the showerhead still squirting water on his still body. Namjoon shut the water off and Yoongi wrapped him in a towel, and he could hear the other members freaking out just outside the bathroom door. Yoongi lifted Jimin from the bathtub and set him on the tile floor, and Jungkook stepped back so Namjoon could crowd in with Yoongi.
“Jin, call our manager. Tae, call the ambulance,” Namjoon said, steady hands already moving to check Jimin’s pulse.
~
“He’s going to be fine,” the doctor strode into the packed hospital room, tapping his fingers on the clipboard he was supporting against his hip. “He was just dehydrated, overworked and overly stressed. His blood sugar was low, so he probably wasn’t eating much, either. He can go home once he wakes up, but you need to make sure he eats regular meals from now on and gets at least 7 hours of sleep a night.”
The members all nodded along to the doctor’s instructions, but their eyes were trained on Jimin, whose skin was so pale he almost matched the white hospital sheets.
And Yoongi felt a bitter seed of self-hatred blooming in his stomach.
How could he not have noticed? While Jimin was busy leaving snacks in Yoongi’s gym bag, letting Hoseok shower first, making sure Namjoon ate all his meals, he was completely disregarding his own wellbeing.
And none of them noticed.
Not even Yoongi, and Yoongi thought of himself as a very observant person, especially towards Park Jimin. Park Jimin, who lately Yoongi couldn’t keep his eyes off of for more than five minutes. Park Jimin, who was always throwing himself in every direction when he laughed, who always had a smile ready for anyone who made eye contact with him, who always started a conversation with “Have you eaten?” and said goodbye with “Rest and eat well!”.
Yoongi brought a clenched fist up to his cheek and angrily swiped a tear away.
Never again.
He wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
He would sit with Jimin through every meal, make sure he was drinking water after dance, Yoongi would do anything to never see Jimin or any other member laying on a hospital bed again.
Two weeks later, the seven members were filming an EatJin with bucket hats and hoodies pulled far down their faces in order to hide their new hair colors. Comeback was in one and a half weeks, and Yoongi thought it was hilarious how important it was to the stylist noonas that their new hair would be “astonishing” and “unexpected, but still classy”.
Throughout the entire meal, Yoongi silently placed the best pieces of meat into Jimin’s bowl, and pushed his favorite side dishes closer to the boy’s chopsticks.
At the end of the broadcast, Jimin looked up at him from under his hoodie and smiled in thanks, his cheeks puffing into his eyes and creating upside down crescents.
And Yoongi would have eaten only rice and kimchi everyday for the rest of his life if it meant that Jimin would eat well, and smile at him like that once he was done.
V.
Jimin had a lot of friends.
Which wasn’t surprising to, well, anybody. Who wouldn’t want to be surrounded by a bundle of giggly, caring joy 24/7?
During award shows, Jimin and Taehyung were always wandering off, sometimes together, sometimes separate, beelining towards their other idol friends, hugging them and smacking their butt and laughing.
Yoongi was just not a big fan of social interaction, if he was being honest with himself. Well — that’s not true. He enjoyed going out with his friends, with the boys, with his family. But going up to a complete stranger and making small talk in an attempt to one day be close friends? No thank you. Yoongi was neither good at it nor did he have a desire within himself to do so.
So he sat back with the other members as their two social butterflies flitted from group to group, and Yoongi would be lying if he said that he didn’t feel something ugly and green in his stomach when someone else made Jimin laugh, or put their arm around his shoulder.
“Yoongi hyung,” Jungkook leaned close to be heard over the loud music. “You’re staring.”
Yoongi tore his eyes from Jimin to glare at their maknae, who was watching Yoongi with his big owl eyes.
“What’re you talking about?” Yoongi scoffed.
“You were staring at Jimin and Taemin, with a really scary glare on your face, hyung,” Jungkook deadpanned.
Yoongi’s eyes wandered back to the pair, who were now clutching each others’ forearms for support as they laughed together, the two of them almost doubled over.
“It’s back! You’re glaring again!” Jungkook almost screamed. “Hyung, are you jealous?”
“Aish, keep your voice down, kid!” Yoongi hit Jungkook’s (insufferably muscled) thigh.
“You are!” Jungkook laughed. “Oh my god, oh wow, I never thought the day would come.”
“Never thought what day would come?”
Jungkook leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms smugly. “The day you finally realized you love Jiminie hyung.”
Yoongi was pretty sure his face was a brighter red than Taehyung’s hair in the Save Me era.
“Please,” Yoongi deadpanned. “Say it louder, for the entirety of South Korea to hear.”
“YOONGI HYUNG LOVES—”
Yoongi slapped his hand over Jungkook’s mouth so fast his palm hit Jungkook’s tooth.
“Ow!” Jungkook’s cry was muffled.
“Hyung is never buying you ice cream ever again,” Yoongi glared.
“You told me to say it louder!” Yoongi’s hand was still over his mouth, so after Jungkook was done speaking he licked his hyung’s hand.
“Say what louder?” Jimin’s happy voice appeared behind Yoongi, who jumped and let go of Jungkook, wiping his palm on his slacks.
“Nothing,” Jungkook shrugged. “Just that Yoongi hyung was jealous of you paying more attention to Taemin than him.”
“I—that’s not true!” Yoongi could have happily wrung Jungkook’s neck. He had been kidding about never buying the kid ice cream again, but now he was seriously considering stopping the treats for at least a month.
Jimin just laughed and sat back down in his seat next to Yoongi’s.
“I’m sorry, hyung, I’ll stop leaving,” Jimin wrapped his left arm around Yoongi’s right and placed his head on Yoongi’s shoulder. “You’re still my favorite person in this room.”
Yoongi heard Jungkook’s cry of “What about Kookie???” but he was too busy trying to calm his rapidly beating heart to pay attention to anything but the warm weight resting on his shoulder.
Yoongi’s heart felt like a rose that had finally bloomed after a downpour, and its fat petals were dripping honey all along the insides of his ribcage and veins.
He felt warm and sweet and golden and Yoongi was, without a doubt, in love.
VI.
It’s not like Jimin went searching for what he found.
Their comeback had finally began and the fans were loving the new dances, hair colors, and songs. It was at a fanmeet where Jimin met a fan who slipped him a piece of paper and asked him to “Please check out my Youtube channel, Jiminie!”
And, because Jimin was curious as to what a ‘Yoonmin’ was, he searched up ‘yoonminedits’ on Youtube and found all of…these.
Videos titled “Yoonmin Eye Contact Compilation 2017” and “Yoongi Staring at Jimin While He Eats” and “Jimin And Yoongi Skinship Moments (Updated)”.
Jimin clicked on the most recent video, the eye contact one. He scrolled down to the comments, which were mostly written in English, but he could see many heart eyes and crying emojis and “YOONMIN 5EVER!!!” comments.
“Hm.” Jimin mumbled to himself. His heart was fluttering in a strange way, but he ignored it.
He went to search up Yoonmin in a search engine, but his phone died.
“No,” Jimin whined.
He got up and wandered over to Yoongi and Jin’s room, knowing that Yoongi’s laptop was always on his desk and that the password was ‘saranghaeholly’. Jimin was sure that Yoongi wouldn’t mind him borrowing his laptop, and he would just delete the history of his admittedly strange searches.
Everybody else was shooting for a music video, but Jimin had finished his parts early so he got to go home to rest. Since nobody was home but him, Jimin plopped down onto Yoongi’s bed and logged into the laptop.
Immediately, a Word document Yoongi was working on popped open on the screen. Jimin tried to avert his eyes, he didn’t mean to read Yoongi’s personal stuff, but it was right there!
And, okay, Jimin wanted to know if Yoongi was already writing any new songs, even though they had just released a full new album.
But what Jimin found was a lot…more.
'when the sun sets with a green flash, i believe that everything is a miracle. so during my sleepless nights i’ll look up and remember your smile. maybe you are in every phenomenon that occurs on this earth – the greatest yet most overlooked one being love.
we sat there counting the seconds that separate lightning and thunder, but they are the same thing, detached from itself. you said you’ve never felt more like a thunderstorm in your life.
i’m holding on tighter to the whites of the waves – inevitably temporary but too beautiful to want to let go of. but maybe the beauty is in the lack of permanence.
one night i talked to you amongst a sea of swaying lights, and i had tears in my eyes. you grabbed my hand and tried to dance to the echoes of hope, but i was crying too hard to move, so you sat with me and watched until the lights joined together and became the rising sun.
i love you, but i don’t think you love me.
but i’ll continue anyway, probably forever.'
Jimin dragged his teary eyes up to the title of the document.
JIMIN.
The title of the document was his name.
But even without that, Jimin would have known.
Because he remembers. He remembers every single one of these moments.
Jimin remembers the night they stayed up watching a thunderstorm. That night, he had felt as wild and out of control as the storm.
Jimin remembers Yoongi rubbing his back and telling him that everything — that storm, that struggle, that dark mentality Jimin had fallen into — would pass. Everything would. Even the beautiful moments.
He also remembers the night Yoongi’s parents had come to their concert, and how emotional Yoongi had been the entire time. He remembers Yoongi kneeling to bow to his parents, but staying in that position on the floor because he was sobbing too hard to move. He remembers rubbing Yoongi’s back, he remembers coming home from that concert and staying up with Yoongi all night, watching the stars. He remembers Yoongi saying that all the fans’ phone flashlights waving in the stadium were brighter and more beautiful than real stars.
Jimin remembers that right after he said that, the sun began rising.
Jimin remembers that right after Yoongi said that, Jimin thought to himself, ‘You can't see it, but you're shining brighter than any star I’ve ever seen.’
There were two more pages to the document, but Jimin slowly shut the laptop screen. He placed it back on Yoongi’s desk and walked out of his hyungs’ room. He stopped in the middle of the living room, and raised a shaking hand to his pounding chest.
i love you, but i don’t think you love me.
i don’t think you love me.
“Fuck,” Jimin whispered. “But I do. I really…really do.”
Yoongi always took care of him. Yoongi said little but wrote the most beautiful poetry Jimin’s ever read. Yoongi spoiled Jungkook and played with Taehyung and Hoseok and helped Jin cook and fixed everything Namjoon broke and acted like none of it was a big deal.
Yoongi made the world a brighter place. Yoongi made Jimin’s world a brighter place.
If everybody was a star, Yoongi was Jimin’s sun.
The front door opened, and Yoongi walked in.
“I’m home, Jimin-ah,” Yoongi called, not seeing Jimin standing in the middle of the room because he was bending down to take off his shoes.
“Yoongi hyung.”
“Oh! I didn't know you were right there,” Yoongi smiled and shut the door. “What’re you doing?”
“Yoongi hyung.”
Yoongi crossed the room and stood in front of Jimin.
“Yes? Are you okay?”
Jimin smiled.
“I love you. Welcome home.”
~
Their next album was full of love songs.
And if Yoongi and Jimin only looked at each other while performing those songs, well…it was just that much more content for the owner of ‘yoonminedits’ to work with.