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Chapter Text

Princess Langwidere was in her easy chair in mirrored sitting-room, indulging in her favorite pastimes of looking at her reflections in the mirrored walls and playing the mandolin. She was good with the instrument and could play herself soothing music automatically, without having to think about it. And of course, seeing her face in the mirrors was also soothing. At this moment, it was the sultry blond face of head number six.

Her maid, Nanda, entered with a flustered expression. "Your Highness, I'm very sorry to disturb you..."

"You should be," interrupted Langwidere. "What is it that is so important?"

"Your Highness, a delegation of Ev citizens are petitioning our new king, His Majesty King Evardo XV, to require you to give back your collection of heads to their original owners."

"What? How dare they ask such a thing? I have express permission from the former Queen to retain my precious cabinet of thirty heads for as long as I live. They should be whipped for their insolence to royalty."

"Some say the new king seems inclined to grant their petition," said Nanda.

"Not if I can stop him," said Langwidere. "Help me to rise, I will put on my most persuasive face and go to the dowager Queen at once."

Nanda braced herself and allowed Langwidere to pull herself up by gripping her arm. Langwidere always did this even though she was much stronger than the little maid.

In her cabinet of heads, Langwidere made a careful selection, settling on her head 22 for its curly brown hair and her best puppy-dog expression.

She strode angrily to the other end of the corridor where the Queen had her apartments.

"Heads will roll for this insult," Langwidere thought.

Chapter Text

Princess Langwidere knocked on the door of the Queen dowager's private suite.

"What is it?" inquired one of the Queen's ladies in waiting who answered the door.

"I must see the Queen at once," said Langwidere. "It's extremely important."

"I'll see if she's available," said the lady in waiting.

"I said at once," said Langwidere, pushing past her. "Your Highness!"

"Yes, what is it?" came the voice of the Queen from the other room.

Langwidere charged in. "Your Highness, you promised that I could keep my collection of heads as long as I lived. Now I hear that the King may not allow it. How can you let your word to me be broken?"

"When I granted you that, I didn't realize there were living women who had been deprived of their heads for your sake. I assumed the heads were all created by magic," said the Queen.

"I would never stoop to wearing artificial heads," said Langwidere. "Mine are perfectly natural, all of them."

"You didn't have anyone killed to get them?"

"No, I would never do that. They all have working replacements from Smith and Tinker that allow them to speak, eat, and so on."

"The rescue party from Oz that saved us from slavery to the Nome King included the Emperor of the Winkies. He told us how he had replaced his body, part by part with tin, including his head. But that was in Oz; they have immortality there. We don't, or Evoldo would never have sold his wife and children for a long life."

"Magic was involved, and it wasn't my idea originally." said Langwidere. "There was a clever young witch named Noir..."

"I may have heard of her," said the Queen. "There was some kind of plot against the King, wasn't there?"

"I'm getting to that. Noir studied monsters called Scoodlers, who live to the south on the other side of Oz, hideous creatures that eat people. They can take off their own heads to throw them as weapons, and take them back with no harm to themselves."

"Horrible!"

"Yes, but Noir turned it into something marvelous. She constructed a set of thirty cabinets, and in their presence a woman can take off her head and exchange it for another. She gathered a group of five other women. They used head-swapping as a secret ritual to bind themselves in a pact of loyalty, a coven of friendship and magic."

"If it was a deep secret, how did you learn of it?" asked the Queen.

"One of them was very outgoing, a redhead named Rose. She offered me a membership, and the others agreed that a royal relation might be useful. I met them all: studious Noir, party-girl Rose, farm-girl Dale, shy Violet, athletic Iris, and fashionable Velvet. But when I realized that they might be trying to build up power to overthrow the throne, I told King Evoldo," said Langwidere.

"It's surprising they were not executed," said the Queen.

"I begged for their lives," said Langwidere.

"That was merciful of you," said the Queen.

"I was afraid that if they died, their heads would also die and decay," said Langwidere. "At my request, the King ordered replacement heads for them from Smith and Tinker. I was given all the original heads as my reward, the first six in my collection. After that, I found more and more. Some were rebels and criminals, others simply could not refuse my royal prerogative to take what I liked."

"Were the replacement heads attractive?"

"Not really, but they didn't need to face the public anymore, because the King had them all locked up in his dungeons."

"Velvet's family connections are quite influential, and so are many of the others. The families have started a petition for the restoration of the heads. Most of the public has joined their cause and it's very difficult... our new King wants to be popular."

"They cannot have them! What would I do without my heads?"

"You could go back to your own original head."

"I discarded that thing long ago. The hair was showing slight traces of gray."

"You could take one of the replacement heads for yourself."

"That would be an outrage, not only to myself but to the dignity of the royal family. I could never appear in public again."

"There's nothing I can do."

"You promised me!"

"I wasn't aware there were original owners when I said that. And I no longer have power. It's in the hands of the King."

"He's your son. You must use your influence on him."

"I will not undermine the authority of my son. You will have to petition him directly. But take care. You must realize you are most unpopular. People remember how you ruled, and they are not happy."

"I did the best I could to hold the throne in the absence of the royal family. I never wanted to rule, but I had to. I spent ten minutes of my precious time every day on affairs of state."

The Queen looked stern. "From what I hear it was not good enough."

Langwidere turned on her most sad, persuasive expression. "Please!"

"No, it's out of my hands. I can do nothing for you."

"Then I'll find someone who can," said Langwidere, stalking out of the room with determination.

Chapter Text

Langwidere went back to her room to pick out a new head and plot her next move. Talking to the former Queen had failed. It might be better to appeal to the new King through his younger brothers: Evrob, Evington, Evroland, and Evring. Or his sisters: Evanna, Evrose, Evella, Evirene, and Evedna.

Which of her heads was best with children? The first head, the one she had acquired from the head-swapping club. Silly, fun-loving, pinkish-red-haired Rose would do.

She took Head #1 from the cabinet and tried it on. The hair was a little too bushy and curly. She spent a few minutes combing it, but then decided it would do just fine for talking with children.

She went to the suite of the princesses first and knocked on the door.

"Hi!" she called. "This is your cousin, Princesses Langwidere. Wanna play?"

"We're busy," called the oldest, Evanna.

"We're playing dress-up," said Evedna, the youngest.

Languidere pushed the door open a crack. "I like to play dress-up, too, But I dress up by changing heads."

"Eww," said Evella. "That's kind of weird,"

"It's fun," said Langwidere, She couldn't help being cheerful with this head. "But some awful people are trying to take them all away from me. I need you to help me persuade King Evardo not to let them do it."

"I don't want to," said Evanna. "It's none of my business."

"Me neither," said Evirene.

"I'll even let you girls play with them. You can wear the ones I don't like as much any more, like Head #24."

"No, thank you," said Evanna. She motioned to a lady in waiting, who shut the door firmly in Langwidere's face.

Langwidere decided to be less direct in her approach to the boys. She would try to persuade the youngest, Evring. She found him alone in a courtyard, playing with a rubber ball.

"Hi Evring," she said with a grin. "I'm your cousin, Princess Langwidere."

"Hi," said Evring.

"How are you doing? Wasn't that a great adventure, getting rescued from the Nome King?"

"Dorothy saved me from being a purple kitten," said Evring. "She made a lucky guess. Then her chicken snooped on King Roquat and learned the secret to finding all the rest who were turned into ornaments."

"Was it strange being a kitten ornament? I think it would be sort of boring," said Langwidere.

"I don't remember anything about that part," said Evring. "But there were some scary things after that. The Nome King got really mad when the chicken saved everyone. He set his guards on us, but Dorothy and her lion and tiger protected me."

"Wow," said Langwidere. "That's exciting. Dorothy really something, isn't she?"

Langwidere had her own unpleasant encounter with Dorothy and her hen Billina, but her happy-go-lucky head helped her to stay positive.

"Dorothy saved us all when Roquat got really mad and threatened to kill us. She took off his magic belt when he was distracted by an egg the Scarecrow threw at his face."

"I heard something about that belt. Is it really powerful?"

"Yes, it opened the passage to get us out of there. Then when Roquat sent his army after us, she turned some of the Nomes in front into eggs. That made the rest run."

"Did she ever turn them back? That's like killing them."

"No, but they were soldiers sent to kill us, so I guess it was all right."

"Everyone got out safely?"

"All but the Tin Woodman. They thought he was lost forever, but it turned out he was a whistle I had taken to play with. A green tin pig whistle I really liked. When they turned him back they promised me another whistle, but they forgot."

"I'll tell you what. I'll get you another whistle, a lot more whistles, if you'll do something for me."

"Okay, what do I need to do?"

"There are a bunch of mean people trying to persuade your oldest brother to make me give up my head collection. Would you talk to him about it, and try to get him to let me keep the heads? Your mother promised me I could keep them, but she's gone back on her word."

"I can try... I'm not sure he'll listen to me."

"I bet he would. You're his youngest and cutest brother."

"Maybe I should just remind Mother about the whistle. I'll try that first."

Later Langwidere saw Evring running around, happily blowing a new tin whistle.

She was going to have to try something else. His story of the Nome adventure was giving her ideas.

Chapter Text

It was time to fight dirty. Langwidere needed the help of the Wheelers. They were a trouble-making tribe that had wheels instead of hands and feet. They could roll around very swiftly, and they took pleasure in harassing anyone who came into their territory. Langwidere had used them as enforcers during her reign. In exchange, she had given them fancy clothing and access to the Royal Dinner Pail Trees.

To deal with them firmly, she needed a powerful head, and her strongest was number 24, with long dark hair with a large white streak on the left side. She had aquiline features and thin lips. The woman had been caught stealing puppies to make into fur coats. She had a harsh beauty all her own, but Langwidere valued her head for authority purposes more than for its attractiveness.

She got her guards to summon the chief of the Wheelers to her sitting room. The Wheeler arrived not long after, wearing his finest embroidered blue jacket with silver buttons. A yellow straw hat was perched on his head.

"The copper man is not still around here, is he, Your Highness?" asked the Chief Wheeler, looking around nervously.

"No, I was going to keep him as a statue when he wound down, but when the Oz people came they wound him up again and took him away with them," said Langwidere. "But you are here to do something for me."

"What can we do for you, your Highness?" asked the Chief Wheeler.

"I need you to get a message to the Nome King," said Langwidere. "The return of the royal family is causing me great trouble. I want him to take them back."

"The Nome King?" asked the Wheeler. "But he is so far away, over rough terrain. How can we get to him?"

"You figure it out," said Langwidere.

"But there is the Giant With a Hammer on the road," said the Wheeler.

"I heard that the Oz people made it stop," said Langwidere. "But if it has been started up again I'm sure you will be fast enough on your wheels to get past it."

"What can we tell the Nome King to get him to listen to you?"

"Tell him that I will have a chance soon to get back for him a valuable item that was stolen from him by Queen Ozma. He will know what I am talking about."

"This is very difficult," said the Wheeler. "It is too risky for my people to approach the Nomes."

"I don't care. If you don't do this for me I will have your access to the Royal Dinner Pail Trees cut off, and your people will starve. There will be no more pretty garments for you either."

"We can get along without them," said the Wheeler.

"I will also tell the world that you are afraid of the copper man," said Langwidere. "It will damage your fierce reputation and your enemies will come after you."

"Not that! Very well Your Highness," said the Wheeler. "It shall be as you command."

"It must be done quickly," said Langwidere. "Time is running out for me to keep my head collection."

Chapter Text

It took a long while, longer than Languidere had wanted to wait, but finally the Wheeler leader told her that an emissary of the Nomes was ready to talk to her.

She waited on the ground floor the old "left wing" where she had once met with Dorothy. It was not used for receptions any more: the new king had his own reception court. It had to be on the ground floor; that was one of the stipulations from the Nomes.

She was wearing her most cunning head: Number Seven, a blue-eyed head with platinum-blond hair worn in short bangs. The former owner was Celina, a cat burglar who had been caught trying to steal Languidere's diamonds.

There was a rumble beneath her feet – Languidere stepped back quickly as a pick-axe broke through the white marble floor. From the hole there emerged a skinny, gray-skinned Nome with glasses. He was flanked by two larger Nomes holding pick-axes.

"How did you do that?" asked Languidere. "And how dare you break up our floor?"

"We Nomes are great tunnelers," said one of the diggers.

"I am Kaliko, personal secretary to His Majesty, King Roquat," said the Nome. "If all goes well with our negotiations we will put the floor back as we leave."

"I am Princess Languidere, the former ruler of Ev in the absence of the royal family. I have been badly mistreated by them and I seek justice."

"I am told you have a proposition for us," said Kaliko. "I hope for your sake it is a good one. Our King is in a foul mood after the loss of his magic belt and he is in no mood to be trifled with."

"Are you threatening me?" asked Languidere coldly.

"Not at all, at the moment," said Kaliko. "I will hear your proposition. I would much rather not have you dragged back through the tunnel to the King for punishment."

Languidere's clever head decided to put her cards on the table rather than provoke them.

"In a week, Ozma is having a birthday party in her palace in the Emerald City of Oz. I am sure to be invited, since they were my guests before they went on a rescue mission into the Kingdom of the Nomes," said Languidere.

The diggers growled at this.

"You may call it a rescue mission, but our King thinks of it as an invasion and thievery of his property, the transformed Queen and her children," said Kaliko.

"I agree with your opinion about that, and I hope to set things right," said Languidere. "While the party is going on I will undertake slip away from the other guests and find the magic belt. I will put in on and wish myself back here. It can do that, isn't that correct?"

"Transportation wishes are one of its strongest features," Kaliko said.

"In exchange for the belt, I expect to be restored to the throne of Ev," said Languidere. "They are trying to take my beautiful head collection, and I cannot abide that."

"And the royal family?" asked Kaliko.

"King Roquat can take them back," said Languidere. "I understand from what the Oz people told me that they cheated at the contest your King set for them. One of their party eavesdropped on a private conversation and learned the colors of the transformed ornaments and bric-a-brac your King had made of his slaves, so that they could win his guessing game."

"Yes, their accursed chicken did that!" said Kaliko. "After that, they stole the King's magic belt."

"Worse than that, that fiendish girl, Dorothy, used the belt to turn some of us into eggs!" said one of the diggers.

All the Nomes shuddered at this. Kaliko frowned.

"Silence, Gouge," said Kaliko. "I'll do the talking here."

"What do you think of my proposal?" asked Languidere.

"I'll have to take it back to the King. It sounds basically acceptable."

"And my restoration to the throne? You will back me?"

"Once you turn over the belt, yes. We have no interest in ruling anything above ground."

"Then we have a deal," said Languidere.

"Yes," said Kaliko.

The Nomes withdrew, leaving no trace in the marble floor as they had promised.

All Languidere had to do was wait for her invitation from Princess Ozma.

But it seemed she was not going to get one, although everyone else did.

"I'll need a disguise to crash the party," said Languidere to herself. "And I know just where to get one."

Chapter Text

On the eve of Ozma's birthday party, Langwidere selected a head for her next move. The curly-haired redhead #27 was the bravest of her heads: exactly what she needed at the moment.

The woman had approached Langwidere in private about getting away from an arranged marriage. Langwidere had promised to help her escape and change her destiny, but the attraction of the curly red hair had been too much – she had stolen her head instead.

She approached the oldest of the Ev princesses.

"Evanna, you are going to be attending the birthday party of that Oz princess, aren't you?" asked Langwidere.

"Yes, everyone who is anyone in Ev will be there," said Evanna. "Are you?"

"I thought about it, and even bought new jewelry and accessories for the occasion," said Langwidere, lying boldly.

(She had actually been snubbed and had no invitation. Even Jinnicky the Red Jinn, the "Wizard of Ev," had been invited, but not her.)

"But in the end I decided not to go. I hate to let fine jewelry go to waste. Since you're going, I might as well give it to you."

"That is unusually generous of you," said Evanna with a hint of suspicion in her voice.

"It was a whim to buy such things," said Langwidere. "I usually only adorn myself with heads, but for an occasion like Ozma's birthday..."

"I don't really need more jewelry," said Evanna.

"I suppose I'll just lock them up in a drawer, then. It's too bad; they are very fine and expensive items."

"Well, I might just look at them," said Evanna.

"Please do," said Langwidere. "Come to my apartment and I'll show you."

In the main room of the apartment, Langwidere presented a box with a pair of golden bracelets.

"This is just the first item. Please try them on."

Evanna put them on and frowned slightly. "I like them, except that each has a little round ring sticking out. What on earth are they for?"

"I'll show you."

Langwidere produced a short piece of chain and clipped it to the ring on the right side. Before the surprised princess could react, Langwidere pulled Evanna's hand behind her back and clipped the other end of the chain to the other ring, handcuffing her.

"What are you doing?" demanded Evanna. "I'll scream for the guards and have you punished for this."

"My apartment is soundproofed," said Langwidere. "I had it made that way long ago after I started my head collection."

Evanna screamed anyway. Langwidere pushed her into her cabinet room. In the presence of the magical mirrored cabinets she was able to stop the screaming instantly by removing the head of the princess.

Langwidere put Evanna's head to the side and replaced head #27 in the proper cabinet. Then she picked up her new, temporary #31 and put it on.

She looked herself in the mirror. It wasn't the prettiest head; it would never do for her collection. But as a disguise it was just what she needed. Evanna was the right height and build for Langwidere to impersonate her.

Now to hide the body. Langwidere couldn't leave it here. Not only might it be found, but it could run wild and damage her head collection. She steered it out of the cabinet room and and locked it into a closet.

Langwidere went back to the young woman's room to borrow another party dress, leaving her ruby key hidden in drawer.

When the royal family assembled for transportation to Oz by the magic belt, "Evanna" was with them.

In a flash they were transported to the green throne room.

"Welcome to Oz," said Ozma with a gracious smile.

Chapter Text

There were only a few guests ahead of them in the procession.

The first was King John Dough the First, Ruler of the Two Kingdoms of Hiland and Loland. Accompanying him were his Head Booleywag, Chick the Cherub, and their friend Para Bruin, the rubber bear. Two dignitaries from Hiland and two from Loland followed them.

Noticing the group, the Queen instructed her children, "Remember dears, that Chick the Cherub uses the pronoun 'it'."

Next came His Supreme Highness Santa Claus, surrounded by his Ryls (elves of Happy Valley) and Knooks (twisted sprites from the Forest of Burzee).

After that was the wax doll Queen of Merryland, flanked by four wooden soldiers, followed by the Candy Man of Merryland.

Following them was the Braided Man, with long hair in elaborate braids. He was from a cave halfway between the Invisible Valley and the Country of the Gargoyles.

"Why was that strange hermit invited here?" Evring whispered to his mother.

"I heard it was because of his helpfulness to Princess Dorothy on an adventure with the Wizard of Oz after an earthquake," the Queen replied.

The royal party from Ev was next in the procession. A strange rotund man wearing a ceramic jar with his arms and legs sticking out joined them. The lid of the jar served as his hat.

"I'm Jinniky, the Red Jinn," said the man. "I rule a small region in the north part of your country. I transported myself here by my own magic."

"I've heard of you," said King Evardo. "You are a slave-owner, are you not?"

"I treat them well," said Jinniky a bit huffily. "They are very loyal."

"And you came to the party because?" asked Evardo.

"I got myself invited," said Jinniky. "I wish to meet the famous Wizard of Oz who ruled here for many years. I heard he was exposed as a humbug, but that he recently returned and learned real magic. I'm sure my skills far outweigh his."

"We shall see," said Evardo.

As the procession began to walk ot the palace, one of the crooked Knooks from the group around Santa Claus came to speak with the King of Ev.

"I bring you a warning from His Highess Santa," said the Knook. "He can tell who is naughty and who is nice, and he has detected that someone in your party is up to no good."

The false Evanna gave a little shudder at this.

"How could this be?" asked King Evardo. "My mother, brothers and sisters are all above suspicion. Perhaps this crockery-wearing wizard?"

"No," said the Knook. "One of the royal family is an imposter."

The royal family was lined up from oldest to youngest and asked test questions.

When it was Langwidere's turn, they asked, "What did you have for breakfast this morning?"

Langwidere tried to tap into the memories in Evanna's head, but they were fuzzy.

"Two eggs on toast," she guessed.

"Wrong!" said Evanna's sister, Evrose. "You skipped breakfast to save room for the royal banquet tonight!"

The Queen looked at her closely. "The face is right, but your body is not quite a match. Langwidere! You have stolen my daughter's head! What have you done with her?"

Langwidere stared back at her. Denial was not going to work. Her princess personality was too honest and obedient. She sighed.

"Her body is fine, back in a closet in my apartment."

"How dare you do this?" said the King. "What is the purpose of this impersonation?"

"I made a deal with the Nome King to get back his Magic Belt that Dorothy stole from him. She had no right to it."

"That belt was the only thing that got us out of his underground kingdom alive!" said the King.

"I don't care," said Langwidere. "I was promised power in exchange, in order to keep my precious head collection."

"This is high treason," said the Queen. "We can't appear before the royal court like this. It would be a terrible scandal!"

"May I make a suggestion?" said the Red Jinn. "I can transport her back, get the head and body of the missing princess back together, and bring the real princess back here before the procession reaches the throne room."

"Would you do that for us?" asked the King.

"For a price," said the Red Jinn. "I want to be officially given the title of the Wizard of Ev."

"Granted," said the King.

"I will take Princess Lanwidere off your hands," said the Red Jinn.

"No!" shouted Langwidere. "I have no wish to be a slave to this disgusting man!"

"Don't worry, I'll treat you well," said the Red Jinn. "In fact, I promise that I'll give you the life you want."

"It's better than the scandal of a public trial and execution," said the Queen.

"This magic will take some time," said Jinniky. "I'm going to have to miss the birthday party. Oh well, there's always next year. Give my regrets to Ozma, will you please?"

He waved his arms and muttered some magic words. Langwidere fell unconscious.

Jinniky discussed the whole situation in detail with the Ev party before he left with his prisoner.

The Red Jinn said, "All of the stolen heads will be given back to their owners. Lanwidere will get all the artificial heads that she made her victims wear. She will live out her days under the illusion that they are the real ones and that she is still beautiful."

When she woke, Langwidere found herself in her apartment. She was wearing the head of the fashion queen, one of her most attractive looks.

She wasn't sure how she got here. It felt like she had woken up and all the recent days had been a terrible dream.

It was good. She could spend her days admiring herself once more, not bothering about anyone else.

The End