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Chapter Text

“I don’ know mate.. You think they would take in a worm like me?” Alex was certain that he wouldn’t have the muscle required to become a rowdy, even it was his dream for such a long time. “If you don’ try you’ll never find out..” he heared his best mate on the other side of the line. “..din’t you go there to follow up on your dream of becoming a musician yoself?” the other continued and remembered Alex why he even went to Liverpool in the first place. "A’right aright I will try.. thanks mate, see you around yea? I’ll tell you how it went tomorrow.” He heard himself finishing and hanging up on Matt before flying back on his hotel bed. It was way nicer than the one he had back home and he could get used to it, even he would miss Matt and the others a lot he had to try.

*

“NEXT” a big man with wide shoulder shouted in the round of waiting people. Miles Kane was looking for a few new Staff’s and Rowdy’s if if it wouldn’t be for Matt Alex would have never found out about it. He wasn’t too much of an SNS-User and so he had missed the Post on Miles Twitter calling out this small and really random interview-ish round. Alex didn’t even knew what kind of qualities they were looking for but as Matt had said the night before, he would never find out if he wouldn’t try. And so it was his turn, to his honest surprise Miles himself had shown up to the interview, which didn’t really helped Alex getting over his own nerves.

“So, you’re Turner yea? Tell me wha I should take you into ma team?” Miles asked straight at the younger man entering the room. “Well.. I.I..uhm.. I am hard workin an..” “Not much of a talker are you?” Miles smirked and shifted interested in the younger boy in his seat. “We’ll call ya, yea?” he then said and signaled Alex that the interview was over.

‘Great.. So much for that..’ Alex thought to himself but kept up his masquerade with a fake little smile, before he left the room.

“And?” Another man from the waiting group came up to him as soon as he came out of the small trailer. They had been sitting next to each other before. All Alex did though was letting his head hang deep and shaking it. “Ow.. sorry man, ere.” The older man said before handing Alex a small gum wrapper with a phone number on it. “What’s tha?” Alex asked lifting his head to meet the other man’s eyes. “Me number, we come from the same area I can tell by your accent. Me Name is Jameh btw.” Jamie was holding out his hand waiting for Alex to shake it. “You seem pretty new ere, if ya need summat just text or call me yea?” he continued before it finally was his turn to face Miles in the trailer.

Alex just watched the other man leave and then again paid attention to the small paper in his hand before a small smile formed on his lips. ‘Better than nothing..’ he thought to himself. Still pretty down from the failed interview he went back on his way to the hotel. If he couldn’t find a job soon his dream was over and he had to go back to high-green kissing his hopes good bye and starting university in fall.

*

It didn’t take the small lad long to fall asleep on his bed, Liverpool was expensive and so it wasn’t the first night he went to bed hungry. He had just enough left for a few more days. Already drifting into dreamland he suddenly felt a vibration on the bed and thought it only could be Matt asking how the interview went and all that. So, without checking the screen he picked his phone up “That’s it mate. I so failed.. “Alex admitted right before the person on the other end could say anything. “Is that so? I got other informations.” Alex heard a person with a Liverpool accent answer his doubts. Never had he sit up that fast in bed, keeping in mind that he was almost asleep when the phone call came in. “M..Mr. Kane?” he almost shouted out in surprise. “I guess you were waiting for somebody else to call” he heard the Scouser chuckle on the other end. “n.. No. I mean I ., I didn’t check the caller ID, I’m sorry.” Alex bubbled until he finally could shut himself up. “Anyways, I don’t think you failed the interview. O’ contraire I liked it. No useless sweet-talk or arse-kissing. I want you in my team. We will leave in 2 days. Same place today. You’re late you’ll be out.” And with this words Alex heard a click and he wasn’t sure if he just had dreamed or if it was reality. Either way he didn’t lose any time to call his best friend to tell him the news.

*

Finally the day had come for the young Sheffielder. And he wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world. And so it happened that he was way too early. He just couldn’t sleep and so he just got ready, packed up his stuff and had checked out. He wasn’t sure if anybody would be there yet but he thought it couldn’t do harm being early.

Luckily he wouldn’t be bored since he had packed his guitar and so he sat down on his suitcase and took out the wooden body to check the tunes. “Well I see I made the right decision.” He heard Miles behind him with kind of a rough voice. And as he turned around he should find out that the Scouser was still in his dressing gown. “Oh… Mr. Kane. I.. good morning.” Slightly blushing he raised from the case and placed the guitar back into its bag before stepping forward to the older man. “Come on now, call me Miles." The older man offered. "You're playing?” He then went on to ask. “N..Not a lot.. I just started learning..” Alex lied. He was still miles away from being as good as his new boss and so he would never admit his talent.  And thanks to his luck Miles wouldn’t find out any time soon giving the situation that finally the other man which where chosen as well as Miles old staff arrived at the scene.

*

“I don’t know. There is something about that guy….. yeah! Exactly! You get me man.” Miles laughed into his phone before saying his farewell to his friend on the line and hung up. It wouldn’t be too long until they would arrive on the first destination of his tour. It was the only concert which would be in the UK before flying around Europe, touring. He was fond of his choice in staff, especially with the rant of the team. Which since this morning he couldn’t manage to get out of his head. “What is it about this guy..” he said to himself nipping on his gin-tonic. And with that thought he stood up, leaving his private area and moving back deeper inside the bus where the staff had settled down. “You guys alright? Ready for the first night?” He asked into the round with a wide crocket smile. And to his delight everyone seemed very energetic and excited, all but one he realized as he let his glance shuffle through the man. His glances stopped at the junk of hair hanging over Alex’ face. The only thing indicating that it was in fact a person sleeping was the wide open mouth the young man slept with. It wasn’t long after they had hit the highway that Alex had fallen asleep considering that he barely could keep an eye closed the night before. Tearing his eyes from the younger man’s face he turned around moving back to his seat as the bus finally left the highway and were close to arrive. He sat down fasting his seatbelt as he kept his thoughts on Alex. Miles hadn’t come out yet but he knew that he had doubled the risk to be found out by adding Alex to his team. The young lad was exactly his type, with his fluffy hair and soft dewdroped eyes. “Let’s see where this journey will lead us.” He declared, without anybody to listen to him.

*

As soon as the last song of the first shows encore was over it was the rowdy’s turns to collect everything and get packed up. They would stay the night on the parking lot in the tour bus but have to get moving quiet early in the morning to get to the airport. That fact didn’t keep the whole crew from going out for drinks as soon as they were done.

At first Alex didn’t want to join them, he still felt the night before and was exhausted from carrying the heavy stuff from A to B. He didn’t want to become the outside right from the start so he dragged himself along with the others. To celebrate the new team Miles invited everyone to a cocktail of their choice to cheers for a good tour and a great time together.

Alex had chosen a Margarita and was holding on to it as if his life depended on it. He often had heard about people getting drugged in bars like this.
“You need a life saver?” he heard a all too familiar voice next to him as he was dragged out of his thoughts. “Wha?” he countered confused and looked at Miles who met him with a crooked smile. “Ya holdin on to ya drink as if you’re about to drown.” “Oh.. tha..” suddenly a bit ashamed of his naïve worries he placed his drink on the small table infront of him. “How was your first day? You sure seemed relaxed on the bus earlier.” The Scouser laughed and signaled another rowdy to show his phone. Alex leaned a little over to see what it was that had drawn the attention from some of his new colleges to the small screen. His eyes almost popped out when he saw a picture of himself sleeping in the bus, mouth wide open, completely out. “Ouw…” was all he had to say about it before he felt his cheeks heat up. “That is so embarrassing. Did I sleep the whole time like tha?” He asked avoiding Miles glance. “Yupp, and I don’t think its embarrassing. I thought it was quiet cute to be honest.” Alex finally looked up at Miles and saw a genuine smile on the face of the older man. He then felt the Scouser’s heavy arm on his shoulder and was dragged to the mans shoulder. Miles leaned in more to speak directly into Alex’ ear to make sure the younger man could hear everything over the loud music. “Everyone told me I’m crazy taking someone like you on tour.” Alex’s heart ached realizing that he was right from the beginning not being the right type of person for that kind of job and that everyone thought like that. He almost could picture himself packing his stuff and being send home after just one day on the job. He quickly was pulled out his thoughts once again though. “I on the other hand am fond of my decision. I made a good choice. Good job today.” Miles added before he raised up. “I’m going for a smoke, fancy one as well?” he almost yelled at Alex who nodded and followed the taller man out through the back door.

“Ha.. Much better, It was way to loud in there, don’t you think? Here.” He offered Alex a cigarette before he took on himself between his lips. Again captured in his own world Alex stare followed the puff and got stuck on the lips of the other. Doing so he didn’t realize Miles coming closer until their noses almost met, pressing his cigarettes butt onto Alex’. Being eye to eye with the other man Alex suddenly woke up from his daydream of the Scousers lips and backed up. “Gee.. you are a real dreamer aren’t you, love?” Alex frowned at the nickname and began to smoke. “So.. you said everyone told you to leave me behind, why did you decide different?” he asked while looking up to the clear night sky.

“I honestly don’t know. You are different from the others and I like that I guess.” The older answered honestly before taking one step closer, while locking eyes with Alex.  Mesmerized buy the caramel-colored eyes of the Scouser Alex didn’t really move until Miles was so close that their bodies met and he was slightly pressed into the cold stonewall behind him. Suddenly being greeted by the cold stones he caught surprised and tried to move away a bit. “I didn’t make a mistake taking you in right? You are one to stay till the end.” Miles declared messing with Alex hair before turning around and walking back inside. Left alone Alex was back in his thoughts ‘Was that a compliment or..’ he wasn’t sure what to think of Miles, now that he met him in person and (really) up-close. Ignoring his pounding heart he let his cigarette fall to the dirt beneath him and stepped on it. Instead of going back in how ever he decided it was time for him to go back to the bus.

*

Alex didn’t realize that he wasn’t alone in the bus, as Miles had went back to the bus after their smoke too and was already lying down in bed drifting of to sleep, as the younger lad stepped in. Feeling safe to be alone Alex finally wanted to practice a little, since he was so busy all day. He had to get better if he ever wanted to be close to the league Miles was playing in. He turned on a small lamp next to his cabin and tuned his guitar once more before playing a few chords.

Awaken by the sudden sound of music Miles opened his eyes but didn’t move. He was curious to hear the other play. Since Al was the only one of the staff who had bring a guitar along it was no mystery who was playing.

“It feels like I only go backwards babe. Every part of me says “go ahead”. I got my hopes up again, oh no… not again. Feels like we only go backwards, darling….” Alex finally began to sing and had Miles gasp to not make a sound so he could hear the whole song without interrupting. ‘Wow..’ was all Miles could think right in that moment. He would have never guessed that that fragile frame of his new addition would have that kind of voice and talent hidden behind his dark eyes and long hair. Being caught in the feeling of the song Miles doesn’t realize that he sings along a little, until the music abruptly stops and the light turns right off. ‘FUCK..’ shocked by the fact that someone must have heard him and that that someone was obviously Kane had Alex’ blood freeze in his veins.

“Why did you stop?” the older man wanted to know while entering the staff area of the bus. At first he couldn’t see anybody and almost thought he had dreamed about the song, until he heard someone gasping for air hidden under his blanket. A wide grin formed on Miles’ face as he approach the other and revealed him under the covers. “Alex? Are you looking for something?” he joked and drew the blanket onto another bed. ‘Oh.. h..hey Miles..” the younger started to stutter. “didn’t.. hear you come back.” He then added collecting his nerves.

“You couldn’t since I was here before you came back.” Miles explained sitting next to Alex on the bed. “Seriously though why did you stop playing, it was great, put me right in the mood.” he continued. ‘He heard all of it..’ Alex thought avoiding Miles glance once again before standing up from his cabin to put his guitar away. “Stop right there!” Miles raised his voice, almost sounding annoyed. “I just complimented you. I wanna hear the rest of the song. Now come on! Show me that you are no twat.” He challenged the Sheffielder with raised eyebrow and heard him sigh half-hearted. Alex than sat back down next to his boss taking his guitar back in his lap. Doing as he was told to he tried to ignore the warmth shining from Miles body. The singer was extremely exhausted, no wonder after such a day and didn’t realize how he slipped back into sleep while Alex’ soothing voice sang him a “lullaby”. As Miles head slightly banged on Alex shoulder he once again stopped the song looking to the other man’s now sleeping face. He almost didn’t dare to move but had to put his guitar down. Heartbeat in his throat he gently lied the Scouser down on his bed, before lying down next to him. He didn’t want to wake the overworked musician and even the beds where narrow they both magically fitted in just right.

*

The crew must have come back shortly after the two had fallen asleep. And the bus was already on the highway to the airport as Miles woke up from the best sleep he had in months. Slowly opening his eyes he realised that he couldn’t move right. It didn’t take him long to remember the night before and puzzle his state together. Carefully he tried to move Alex’ arm which lied across his waist. He didn’t want to wake him, especially not when he was sleeping with such an angelic face. He stopped for a second and listened carefully if he could hear anyone awake. As he didn’t hear any sound besides the motor he leaned in giving Alex a soft kiss on his cheek before untangling himself and moving to his area to take a shower.

What Miles didn’t realized was that he wasn’t the only one awake. Just seconds after he had left the staff area Alex’ eyes swung wide open holding a hand to his cheek…

Chapter Text

Miles was seated in first class while the staff had been booked business class. Never had Alex been able to afford this kind of traveling and so everything was amazing and fascinating. The best part, for him at least, was that Miles was traveling in a whole other class. This way he was able to avoid his boss just a little longer until they landed at least. After getting a small snack from a very nice stewardess he tried to forget about what happened just a few hours ago back in the tour bus. ‘Miles is not gay, there is no way he meant it like that. Maybe it was just an “accident” while standing up.. that must be the reason!’ satisfied with his own small explanation Al suddenly felt another person’s presents. Jamie who also got selected was standing next to him, signalising that he wanted back into his window seat next to Alex. So far the younger man hadn’t talked much to his new co-workers. They were all much older than him, expect Jamie who was just a few years up the road. He was well built, with obvious muscles under his tight shirt. Alex caught himself being a little intimidated by the nice guy next to him. He liked him and was happy that he at least had found one person he could become friends with over the course of the tour. Of course he got along with Miles as well, but he was his boss and he still was quiet unsure what to make of his behaviour around him. “Jamie?” Alex finally spoke after a long silence between the two. “Do I look girlish to you?” he then continued. Just this morning when slowly all the man had awaken he had heard some of them saying how they could not get how Alex made it in the team, that he was to “girlish” and rather an eye-candy for Kane than a full member of the staff. He didn’t quite get that. What did they mean with “eye-candy”. Was he too naïve? Had he forced his way into the crew? His thoughts were cut short by Jamie’s answer: “Don break ye pretty head over tha. They are joost cunts being homophobe. For me you look like a healthy young man. I think ye are brave for trying this.” He told Alex honestly and smiled at the younger man. A little surprised by that amount of compliments Alex bit his lip before thanking his co-worker and excusing himself to go for a piss.

*

“Ahh~! Finally!” flying obviously wasn’t one of Miles favourite ways to travel. Even such a small time in the air seemed to bother him.

After the crew all met up and checked if they didn’t forget anyone they went on to the shuffle bus to get to the hotel for the night. The next show wouldn’t be before the next day but they were scheduled to check up the equipment and start setting up the show so that there could be a last rehearsal for tech-staff and Miles. The crew was paired into sets of two for each room while Miles got his own. Alex had hoped and prayed to get paired up with Jamie and his luck should not let him down. As he was about to get ready to take a shower the door opened and Jamie walked in. Both man just nodded greetings to each other before Alex proceeded moving in the bathroom undressing himself. It wouldn’t be long until the sound check and so the crew were given 1 hour to shower and change before all together would go to check out the location and get started with the set-up. “Come on! I need to shower too!” the young man heard his roommate, for the time being, bang on the door. “Yeah, almoost done!” Alex called back and decided to just get dressed in the room. He swung a towel around his hip and finally opened the door to switch place with Jamie. “About fookin time!” the other cursed before hurrying into the bathroom. According to the sounds heard next it wasn’t so much about shower than it was about a full bladder. Alex grinned to himself and had just putting on his boxer briefs as he heard a knock on the door. “Commin.” He responded rushing over to the door and open it just a bit to hide his mostly naked body behind the door. To his surprise it was Miles standing on the other side smiling at him. “So this is your room, I see.” He said while pushing against the door to let himself in. Surprised by the pressure Alex stumbled a little backwards letting the Scouser enter the room. “Jamie is taking a shower.” He explained while looking for his shirt and pants. “I see, good, good.” Miles answered not really caring about it. “We’ll all go to a bar downtown after the sound check. You will join us yea?” he then went on sitting on the settee. “eh.. s. sure I guess.” The smaller man mumbled while fighting with his shirt, it seemed like he couldn’t find the collar to put his head through. He already got dizzy until he felt a helping hand and the exit of his dilemma. Miles had raised from his seat helping the younger to get dressed. “Well ‘hello’ there.” The Scouser joked smiling crooked at Alex. “Thanks ...”he heard himself abashed. ‘Fucking cute..’ Miles thought to himself and had to force himself to stop smiling at the other. “Anyways. See you later, don’t let me down yea?” he then declared and left the room.

“Was that Miles?” Alex heard Jamie’s voice as he older man came again fully dressed from the bathroom. “He seems to quiet fancy you, he spends way more time with you than any other crew member you know that?” he went on while pulling his “QOTSA”-Shirt over his head easily. Alex watched fascinated as the fabric started to cover up the muscular body of his new friend. “Al?” Jamie catching Alex staring spoke up. “We gotta go.” Ripped from his thoughts Alex nodded, took his backpack and key-card for the room and left the room together with Jamie. ‘Is it true? But why should he be interested in me… Jamie must be wrong.’ He thought on his way to the small bus they had rented to get back and forth.

*

Just like the last show everything went as planned. Everyone did a great job and worked hand in hand securing the equipment. They would stay for 2 concerts in Paris where they were at and so they had a little more time looking around the next day. Since the next schedule was yet another sound check they didn’t have anything to do until the afternoon and so Jamie and Alex decided to look around in the famous ‘City of Love’. Alex didn’t get why it was called that. He didn’t feel any love around. On the other hand however he wasn’t in love and didn’t plan to fall into it any time soon and so Cook and he went on shopping before returning to the hotel to go back to the concert hall with the others. Staying in one location over two days had his pro’s since it seemed that Alex got along better and better with his co-workers after they realised that he didn’t just looked pretty but was as hard working as they were. “Careful there.” A unknown voice behind the Sheffielder spoke up as a Mic-stand was about to fall onto Alex. “Thanks.” He responded blindly not giving further attention to the way older man behind him. His colleges were no bad people but there was this one man Alex didn’t know how to read. He had cought him staring a few times and didn’t feel too easy around him. He was an excellent worker however and so Alex just decided to stuff his thoughts aside and simply avoid the man.

*

“’m tellin ye Jameh if we keep drinking every night I will..” Alex had started suddenly feeling another rush of vomit coming up. His roommate had followed him to the toilets, now holding his long dark locks from getting caught in the mess. “You just have to learn your limits. Maybe some fresh air will help?” he offered watching Alex’ struggle pitiful. “Sounds great.” He responded weak before slowly getting up, stumbling to the sink. “Thank you so much really! Ye a real friend Jameeh~” he babbled before leaving the bathroom hanging onto Jamies shoulder. He didn’t realize how much he had until everything had fought its way back out.

The fresh air indeed helped, but Alex still thought it would be best to get back to the hotel.

“You guys are not leaving yet are you?” they heard Miles who had come out for a smoke behind them. “The night is still so bloody young.” He finished before leaning on the wall watching Alex fighting against gravity while he tried to get closer to Miles. Luckily he got a mint from Jamie to help with the halitosis. “Jameh, wha don’t you get back in and order us something nice to drink and Al an I will follow right up?” Miles insisted despite the fact that Jamie didn’t seem comfortable leaving Alex behind. He still obeyed and went back inside.

Without Jamies supportive shoulder it was much harder to stay up right now and so Alex tried getting to the wall Miles was leaning at. “Fancy a smoke?” Miles asked holding up his golden cigarette case. The younger man accepted and leaned in, way too deep, to get some fire from the Scousers lighter. “Can I ask ye summat?” he then babbled dragging on his puff. “Yeah?” Miles responded before Alex could go on how ever he lost his balance once and for all and bumped into his boss. “Careful” the older man said softly grabbing on Alex biceps. “Are you alright?” Slowly, very slowly Alex lifted his head looking into Miles chocolate brown eyes. “A.. ‘am fane.. fanks..” being hold by someone again helped him getting his balance back. “I think it’s better to get back in.” with a charming smile Miles swung Alex’ arm over his shoulder, much like Jamie had before, before heading back inside. The two of them head straight to the table where Jamie was already waiting with their drinks, of course he had got a Margarita for Alex and a Gin-Tonic for Miles, though he had requested a milder version at least for the young man.

Alex smiled brightly as they sat back down and swung his arm around Jamie. “Fanks again~~~ I feel much better now.” He not really convincing babbled and leaned his head on his friends shoulder. In some way it was better that way Miles thought. He had been alarmingly close to snog Alex right then and there when they were alone outside behind the bar. The young lad was just too cute. Luckily he had been able to contain himself, it wouldn’t have ended well since he already had noticed the CCTV outside and the last thing he would need was a scandal in the middle of his Europe tour.

Deep in conversation the two man didn’t realize that Al had fallen asleep still leaning on Jamies shoulder. As their attention had been drawn back to the lad hearing a small but clear snoring from him. Both momentarily looked at him and a soft warm smile formed on the Scousers face. Jamie looked at his boss and his eyes narrowed a little. “Kane. Look I don’t want to get into your business or summat but.. don’t play with him aright? He is a sweet kid, it would be a shame.” Miles hadn’t realized that he had been so obvious with his liking for Alex, but if Jamie had figured him out he should start to get more careful. He couldn’t risk anymore people finding out, it was just not the right place and time. With a very serious glance he faced his rowdy: “I am not. And please keep this between us. I’m not out and I don’t plan on outing me just yet, yea?” “Leave him out of it then, he is way too innocent to be your tool on getting the word around.” Jamie answered him with a warning look before stretching a little which was enough to wake Alex up. “Where am I?” he asked confused and sleep drunken. “Time to call it a night.” Jamie simply said helping the younger man stand up. He had started to get brotherly feelings for the youngest of the bunch and under his watch no one would hurt him. “You too Miles?” Alex asked his eyes glossy from the alcohol still running through his veins. “Later, good night.” Without many words he send the two on their way, shortly everyone would follow.

*

Alex was up for the hang over of his live and so he choose to just sleep over the whole flight up to Oslo that day. He hoped they would get some small time to rest before going back to set up everything for the sound check and show. He shouldn’t have had so much to drink and he couldn’t remember as much as he was hoping for. Just a complete blackout. He admired how everyone else seemed so unaffected by the night before. He didn’t know half the story. Jamie would never tell him that but it wasn’t easy to get the younger man back to the hotel room and into bed. The last margarita had proven itself to be to much for the lean frame to take and so they’d got a déjà vu of unsure feed and waves of nausea. Finally in the hotel room Alex had refused to get undressed. If Jamie wouldn’t like him that much he would have just knocked his light out to undress him while he was unconscious, but he really had only had that thought for a second before reasoning with himself.

“You aright?” he asked the younger one next to him who wasn’t moving since they had boarded the plane. “I think I’m dying.. that’s it I’m sure.. Tell my Mom I love her.” Alex joked with a husky voice. “I thought you would feel like this so.. here.” Holding up a painkiller for Alex to see he smiled. “My saviour!” faster than light he took the small capsule and flushed it down with a big gulp of water. He then proceeded to lie down in his new favourite position, which was leaning on Jamies shoulder. His friend simply had the perfect height while sitting up to be the most comfortable for Alex to lean on. “How can I ever fank you?” he asked with a sweet but still rough voice. “Joost watch out for Kane ok?” Jamie heard himself mumbling without even wanting it. He had promised his boss to keep his feelings a secret between the both of them. “Whot?” Alex asked now sitting straight up again. “Wha do you mean by tha?” he continued asking making Bambie eyes as Jamie. He didn’t really want to know, being afraid his own explanations and excuses he had made of for Miles would loose on validity. Good for him that the other didn’t really want to explain it to him either and simply declined it with a swift of his hand. As if it was a cue Miles entered the business class and came right at them. “May I talk to you for a sec Cook?” he didn’t really asked and already lead the way to a small hang out lounge at the entrance of the 1^st class. “I can count on your word yes?” he reassured with Jamie. He hadn’t heard what the two of them had just talked about but he have had a feeling in some way. “How is he holding up?” nodding in the direction of the business class he glanced at the Sheffielder with deep concern in his eyes. He wanted to bring Alex back to the hotel making sure he was alright. He knew that he had pushed the youngest of them a bit too far but if he would have done so he might as well could have hung a sign around his neck stating the obvious. “Thank you for taking care of him. And don’t get me wrong, I did hire him because I thought it was worth a try and everyone would deserve a chance.” Even that was just half of the truth. He already had taken notice of Alex as he arrived at the location that day. He felt like he was under a spell from the moment he first had lied eyes on him. He would just have to wait. Just a few month until the tour was over, or that’s what his plan was.

Chapter Text

After months being either on the road or in the air some kind of tension had formed between some of the staff. Especially that one older guy, Angus, he stuck to Alex’ arse more and more by the day. Alex had thought that ignoring that weird guy would help so he would be left alone by him but quiet opposite, Angus got clingier and dangerously frustrated. Finally arriving in Sweden the crew had a few hard days coming up since Miles would be part of a weekend long festival, which meant several assembling and disassembling of the equipment. The young Sheffielder was sitting on stage color-taping some cords for the different amplifier and guitars as he felt a numbing pain in his back, about middle where his rib cage ends. With a loud whimper he leaned upfront covering his head to keep it from possible damage. There was a short second of heavy pressure and pain before he felt the weight lifted from his back. “Ye a’right?” he heard a gentle voice before daring to look up. “Come, I’ll elp ye oop.” The voice continued and Alex accepted the hand swinging next to his face. “F..fank you.” He heard himself responding with a raspy voice. “Wot was tha’?” he then asked facing to the stranger young man. Best way to describe him would be to call him a teddy bear. He had dark looks similar to Alex but had strong wide shoulders and a beard. “Not sure just came ‘ere and saw ye lyin’ there wif a truss over ye shoulder. Btw, I’m Nick.” The teddy introduced himself. Alex, slowly straightening up his body looked into Nick’s friendly green eyes and thanked him again before introducing himself: ”A.. Alex.” As he was about to shake Nick’s hand Angus suddenly appeared from somewhere behind the big bass amplifier. “I’ll take it from here!” he said stepping between the two men and grabbing Alex’ shoulders. ‘WTH..’ Alex thought but before he could protest he was lead backstage. “ok…” was all Nick had to offer, he himself was busy since he and his band, ‘The Dodgems’ would be the opening act for Miles that night.

“Come I’ll take care of you.” The greasy man whispered while pulling Alex in a dark corner backstage. It seemed like he was checking if they were alone, before he turned back to the young man, pulling on his shirt. The grew was almost done so soon there would be no one left who could hear Alex cries for help under the loud music of the sound checks. “Take ye dirty hands off me!!” he protested struggling and fighting the older guy. It seemed hopeless however, he was weakened from the hit and all together not nearly as muscular as Angus. After a short pulling his t-shirt ripped and reveal the fair skin of Alex’ chest. The younger man felt helpless and overwhelmed. Being pushed back at a wall he shut his eyes close before biting his lips. ‘Please.. someone… anyone…….Miles!’ he screamed in his head. Suddenly he felt the lips of the pig on his collarbone wandering around his chest, he had to hold back a gag. “You like it don’t you, little northern bitch?! I saw you dance around Kane’s crooked nose” there was a deep growl in Angus’ voice. Alex eyes flew wide open feeling obvious cupping and his fly being unzipped. “You like playing hard to get, but you are like all the others!” with that words he forced a kiss on Alex’ lips while unzipping his own pants. “I’ll teach what a real man is!” he continued pressuring Alex deeper into the wall. Alex whimpered since he was pushed against his freshly injured back. ‘Fuck fuck fu..’ almost giving up his fight he saw a familiar blond mane. “Jameh!” he cried out, just loud enough to overpower the electric guitars from the starting sound check on stage. “Fuck” Angus spit out before attempting to run off, but Jamie grabbed him just in time. “Not so fast ye piece of sheit!”

*

Right after the sound check and everything was done Jamie had accompanied Alex back to bus, they had rented for their stay in Sweden. “Really.. I..I’m fine Jameh. Fank you though.” Alex ensured his friend still with a scratchy voice. He then hugged the taller man and sent him off to join the others on their daily routine of going out drinking after the show. He himself just wanted to be alone. If he was honest he wasn’t fine at all, but he didn’t want to burden Jamie, especially not on a hard day like this. In their break time he had sneaked off to the medical tent of the festival to get some pain killers and cream for his aching back. He hoped he would be able to keep his pain under control, since he wouldn’t be the first guy to be sent back home after injury. ‘Where did the truss came from though.. and why on me back.. there was no truss construction going on.. and than.. why is that pig…’ he couldn’t even finish his thought, gaging by the simple thought of thinking about it. Luckily Cookie had promised not to tell anyone, he had finally earned some respect and was treated as a full team member of the crew, he didn’t want to risk his reputation that he had worked so hard for. Suddenly he heard a sound, it seemed like someone was about to enter the bus. He had already sat in the dark so he didn’t have to worry about the lights, but his stomach twisted by the thought what could happen if Angus would find him here alone. No one would hear him scream or come to his rescue this time. Everyone was out drinking and so the only solution, even not very effective, was for him to find shelter under his blanket, some pillows dragged in front of his body. He kept his phone up close to his chest “112” (Swedish police emergency number) pre dialed, just in case.

His heart almost jumped out of his chest when he heard Miles melodic, soft voice calling his name instead of the rusty old man’s voice he expected. He still didn’t dare coming out of his hiding place. It was all his fault in the first place. He knew what Angus was referring to before. And what the old guy meant by dancing. There had been one night in Copenhagen a few weeks back, he had have way to much drinks and was overwhelmed by loneliness when Miles and he suddenly danced very close. And then after a smoke outside the bar they had kissed. It wasn’t just a smack or something like that. It was a real kiss, that got very serious very fast. It had been obvious that both enjoyed the warmth of the other and so, drunk, and lonely, as they were they had went back to the bus. No one was there at the time, even they were too out of it to get the idea to check. It was surprising for Alex how well he remembered everything that happened back then. Every kiss, every touch, every thrust. And even he was sure that Miles had been too intoxicated to remember anything he had kept a safe distance from his boss since that night. Something had changed since then, he caught himself more and more often starring at the tall man, taking mental notes of everything about the Singer. Capturing images of his chocolate brown eyes, the way smiled and laughed with such pureness.

Almost lost in his thoughts about the night a few weeks ago, he quickly snapped out of it as he yet again heard his name and felt a confident pull on the blanked. The lights had been turned on and he had to blink a few times to adjust his eyes to the brightness. “There you are~” the Scouser said with delight, pulling the blanked completely off of Alex locking eyes with him. “Are you alright?” he then went on asking the smaller man with a hint of concern in his voice. After Alex’ eyes finally got used to the lights he stared directly into Miles kind and slightly worried eyes and he just couldn’t hold back anymore. He wouldn’t tell the other anything about the truss, even he was certain that that wasn’t an accident, also he wouldn’t lose a word about the incident with Angus. He was worried Miles would “let him go” if he knew that Alex had been injured and molested. However he hugged Miles tightly after starring into his eyes for a while, he tried to keep himself from crying, but he felt himself tearing up. The hug just felt so safe all of a sudden and the feeling of relieve forced an outlet. He knew he was holding on to hopes that wouldn’t be answered. He was 100% sure that Miles was straight, despite the night they had together. In his mind it was simply Miles feeling lonely. He completely ignored the fact that at least 30 woman a night tried to pass their number to Miles when they were out drinking. For now however he just wanted to feel the safety of Miles arms around him, smell the Scousers cologne that tickled his nose and forget what happened today. Hearing a sobbing noise from the younger man every now and then, Miles softly loosened the tight embrace to look the other in the eyes once again. Carefully brushing a lock from Alex face he then asked: “Tell me what happened, love. Why‘re you hidin’ ‘ere all by yeself? Come on, tell me.” His gentle voice felt like music in Alex’ ears and he slowly replied the others glance “Nowt.. Joost a lil lonely tha’s all.” He lied and hoped to get away with it. But his boss didn’t buy it: “Ye don’t cry for nowt. I think I know ye well enough to know that for sure. Come one we’re ‘ere alone” He pressured the younger a little more, caring his hair and playing with his locks. “Besides Jameh told me… wha’ ‘appened.” It was a bluff, Miles knew that Jamie and Alex had gotten very close and would share any secret with each other so he used this knowledge to get an answer out of the Sheffielder. “WHA’??” The young man’s eyes flew wide open starring at Miles’ face in disbelieve. Jamie had promised him not to say a word, he even had taken care of him, giving him is shirt so no one would see the one that was torn apart. Miles knew he got him and bit back a knowing smile. Even harder now to hold back his tears Alex finally answered Miles: “The fookin’ pig, Agnus..” he started, before a sob stopped his voice once again. The older man didn’t need to hear more, he had already noticed how the old weird guy was behaving around “his” lil Al. “Its ok. Ye don’ ‘ave to voice it.” He said softly cupping Alex’ cheek with his hand. Their eyes met and suddenly both felt as if they were drawn into a completely different universe. ‘Those eyes.. fookin’ ell.’ Miles thought while trying to contain himself. He couldn’t use the excuse of intoxication this time, since both were sober. Finding his voice back and pulling his glace from Alex’ beautiful dewy eyes he continued comforting the younger man: “I won’t let him come near ye anymore. I promise.” He again looked deep into the eyes of the other to give more weight to his promise. It was exactly what Alex needed to hear and he felt like there was something more and stronger between them than he ever had felt. Giving in his longing of warmth and love he leaned in again, closing up the space between them completely until he felt Miles soft lips. His heart seemed to skip a beat and he squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t dare to open them until he broke the kiss and blinked slowly. It was a scary thought what would happen now. Would Miles kick him out for good? Send him home not to ever see him again? In the beginning of the tour Alex never had thought about his sexuality. He always had assumed he was straight but never had Sex or anything close to it with any of his ex-girlfriends. Then after what happened in Copenhagen between him and his boss he couldn’t stop thinking about the Scouser and how to keep his feelings a secret at the same time. He was still convinced that it was just the alcohol and loneliness that had led to their intercourse back then. His eyes were shy looking at Miles but trying to avoid his glace. “..m sorreh.” He mumbled starring down the chest of the older. “Why?” Miles asked loud and clear. ‘We’re both sober. He is in confusion but seem he know what he’s doin’. … A fook it.’ His brain went on as he pulled up the Youngers chin kissing his lips with passion and confidence. Alex’ eye widened as he realized what was happening. He have had the same thoughts as Miles, also he felt that Miles wasn’t confused at all. ‘Does that mean?’ he slowly and happily closed his eyes, hoping that he wasn’t dreaming and Miles would be gone when he opened his eyes again. His thoughts and hopes were put on hold as he felt the Scouser’s tongue on his bottom lip. His brain was close to shutting down and so he swiped all his thoughts aside only focusing on Miles and opening his lips for him. He didn’t want to give the expression that he didn’t like what they were doing.

*

“M….Mi..”He had to clear his throat to get his voice back but before he could go on Miles reacted to him. “Isn’t that a cute lil Nickname ye give me there.” He winked while pulling Alex, whose head was lying on Miles naked chest, closer. “No.. a mean.. yeah.. I..” he began to stammer. Yet a giggle followed by a crooked smile made him stop trying. “I was joost kiddin’ but seriously I would like the name.” the Scouser reassured his rowdy. The “kid” getting bright pink cheeks covered his face with his long brown locks. “Don’ hide ye pretty face. You are so adorable Al.” Miles winked caressing the others arm carefully. “You never have to be scared again, and you’ll never have to hide again, yeah?” he went on, almost drifting into dreamland. But he couldn’t sleep here, so he sat up slowly and watching out not to push out Alex out of his small bunk bed cabin. “Mi…?” the young Sheffielder watched his boss getting up from the bed and getting dressed again. He was already a little sleep drunken, as he had snoozed off while miles soft voice had ensured him his safety. “I can’t be seen by anyone lying here with you, love. I’m sorry. Really! It’s just not the time to come out yet.” Miles explained quickly, cupping Alex’ face and smacking his lips before he just left him alone sitting in his bed, confused about what just had happened. He swung back into his pillow and starred up to the underside of Jamies still empty bed. ‘Not the time to “come out” …yet.. “come out” Co..” ‘ “OH!” he suddenly sat up again and had to blink away the dizziness shortly. He finally had processed Miles last words. Miles just had come out to him. After they had done it a second time. He finally could be sure and give his hopes some fire, that Miles had feelings for him. The older didn’t seem like someone who uses people for pure self-pleasure. ‘But.. does that mean that he likes me the way I like him?’ his thoughts went on, sending him back lying down until the sleep got the better of him and he fell into a deep sleep. He didn’t even hear the others come back, even they were anything but cautious about their sleeping member. Jamie had even checked on Alex to see if he was ok. He had seen Kane leaving the bar for quite a while and coming back with a way too good mood. He had found his friend sleeping like a little angel in his bed, even he was half naked which wasn’t how he normally slept. Seeing this satisfied little smile on his sleeping face Jamie didn’t need to think twice about what may had happened between his boss and his best mate. But he was sure he would hear everything about it at some point during the next day. Pulling Al’s blanked all the way over the Youngers chest he whispered a ‘good night’ before he climbed up his bed himself, trying to sleep. But the thoughts of ‘What the ‘ell is Kane’s plan..?’ kept popping up. ‘I won’t let anything ‘appen to you Al, don’t you worreh.’

Chapter Text

Finally they reached the last city of Miles Europe Tour: Prague. It seemed like everyone had mixed feelings about the last 2 gig’s they would be part of. They all had become a big family, they had grown together and even had started tolerating Alex more and more until he was a full member of the family. A lot of new friendships had formed and deepened over the time and experience of the last few month. Jamie had kept a close eye on both Miles and Alex. To his surprise however it seemed as if they had started to avoid each other for an unknown reason. However when they had to be with each other it didn’t looked like they were uncomfortable or awkward around each other, quite the opposite.

As they arrived in Prague the crew right away jumped off the bus and got busy. They had been stuck in traffic for a while so now they had to finish everything in almost half the time they usually need, so that Miles could have his full sound check. Alex back had gotten better and he was relieved that Jamie had taken care of him so well, without his support he would have had to go home.

*

“Alex.. hey.. Al..! Come on. Are you sure you can make it tomorrow? You can’t even stay straight.” Jamie had begged to Alex who was juggling with his ‘pain relieving cream’ desperately trying to get it on the injured part of his back by himelf. “I ‘ave to, Jameh.. I will defl’ be kicked if I don’t.” Alex had mumbled. There was obvious annoyance in his voice, since he couldn’t reach where he needed to. “Come on mate, a little help would be great..” he than had complained looking with puppy eyes to his best friend. “a’right, a’right. But you gotta promise me to only do light work.” the Older had said while working town to help his young friend. “Is tha’ a’right? Don’ ye fink ye should see a Doctor?” he added while closing up the cream-tube. “Nah.. a will be a’right. Promise.” A sugary smile crossed Alex’ lips, and Jamie couldn’t help but believe him, for now at least. He later however would be eaten up by regret. It was like Alex was a magnet for accidents and injuries since a few weeks back. No one ever saw it happening but there where smaller incidences pilling up over the course of the tour. But nothing so far was as bad as what happened that day. Jamie could see how helpless Miles was just by looking in his Boss’ eyes. “Cook.. quick.. Al..” he had said with a crispy voice from panic and running over to where Jamie was. It was rare that Miles showed up before everything was set, he usually was busy with interviews or other kind of promotions. Today however since it was another festival where they would stick around longer than to normal concerts Miles had the early evening off and wanted to watch and potentially help his crew. However when he had walked over where Alex usually was doing his thing he almost got a heart-attack as he saw the young men lying on the floor motionless. No one had seemed to be noticed yet, maybe he was kind of hidden by the amplifiers and boxes. He had run over to Alex, trying to wake him up, however he didn’t want to make a scene. So he had simply taken off his leather jacket, put it under Alex head and run off to find Jamie. The rowdy had seen the despair and worry in the Scouser’s pale face. He had almost drown away what he was doing in an immediate reaction but decided to not go overboard causing anyone potential trouble. However he went over to his boss as fast as he could following the man to where Alex was still lying on the ground, his head resting on the Scouser’s jacket. “Do something Jameh please..” Miles had begged helpless. He was not good in handling situations like this, especially not when someone he really liked was involved. The rowdy had pushed his Boss aside running and now kneeling next to Alex, before getting his pulse and feeling his forehead. The young men had a high fever but luckily his pulse seemed to be normal. “We betta get ‘im back in the bus and call a doc.” He had simply said while getting busy lifting the other up. “Can ye ‘elp me getting’ ‘im on me back?” he had complained shortly since Miles was still not moving even his helping hand was obviously needed. “Oh..su..sure..” he had almost squeaked out before stalking over to them helping getting Alex on the other’s back.

*

“Wha’ is takin’ so long.. we called in a emergency for fucks sake..” Miles complained while walking up and down the narrow hallway. They had lied Alex into Miles bed since there was a lot more space for the doc. to treat the young man. “Calm down it’s not gonna be faster if ya….” “where.. am I?” they suddenly heard Alex’ weak voice from the bed. Both almost jumped right at the bed. “How are ye feelin’?” Miles asked with worry in his voice. “Wha’ ‘appened?” Alex wanted to know while slowly sitting up. “We found ye on stage, hidden behind some amplifiers.. Listen Al, I know I promised, but that’s once too often.. was it tha’ guy again?” Jamie asked while putting a soft blanket over his friend’s slim slightly shaking body. “Ahm.. I..” just in this moment there was a knocking from the bus door and the doctor had finally arrived. The grey bearded man had send Miles and Jamie away, to take a close look on what happened to Alex. It took him quiet some puzzling before he finally found a small spot just behind the young man’s armpit. He inspected the mark further and was sure it had come from a stun-gun. Even the doctor asked multiple times Alex had refused to tell him what had happened and lied that he hadn’t seen anything. Since stun-guns are illegal especially on the festival grounds the doc had insisted on calling the cops but got soft after he had seen Alex’ face, who had begged him not to call the police.

After the doctor was sure Alex heart-beat and pulse where both stable and he didn’t have any other signs of weakness he had allowed the others to join them again and shortly after he had left. “Ye gonna rest from now on! Just stay here and give your body a rest.” Miles had said with a soft voice, even Alex was protesting against it. However he got promised that he would not be fired, not only because the tour was almost done but also because he was part of the “family” and he was an very good worker over all. He then received a loving kiss on his forehead. It wasn’t really a secret in front of Jamie anymore anyways, Miles knew that and took his chance.

*

Alex had stayed in the bus and tried to sleep a little. It was a little irritating for him lying in Miles bed, being surrounded by the others smell. The fabric of the bedding was super soft and it was a much wider and comfortable bed than his, so he tried to not be too distracted and rather sleep off his horrible headache he had gotten from the fever and hitting the floor. He knew that it was Angus who had done this, but he didn’t have any proof and the tour would be over soon anyways, so he decided to stay silent, even Jamie didn’t like this decision. Just as he had fallen asleep however he suddenly heard how the bus door was opened. His first thought was that it could be his best mate but he quickly realized that the footsteps where way too heavy and slow for it to be Jamie. He slowly sat up in the bed and tried to see anything in the now dark bus. Just as Angus was about to stun Alex again, this time with higher voltage the lights suddenly turned on and Miles was standing behind the gross old man. “Wha’ the hell is going on ‘ere?” he spit out while moving fast pushing out the stun-gun out of Angus hands and kicking it wide under the bed. He then dialed 997 (Warsaw police emergency number) simultaneously with his right hand while holding on to the thug with his left one as good as he could. “This bloody bitch! I was so nice the whole time but he just ignored me.. than dancing around your fucking nose… He didn’t even let me touch him without making a bloody scene. I was just going to take what I am entitled to”. Everything what happened spilled out of the rowdy and when he was done he was taken by the police.

“Why didn’ ye tell me anything about this?” Miles asked Alex heartbroken “Do you trust me that little?”. He had realized how hard the others live had been the past months and all he had cared for was keeping his secret of being gay save. He hugged the other tightly while covering his cheek in kisses.

*

Finally the time had come for the last tour concert. Angus had given their best and had joined the fans in the crowd. Everything went as planned even Miles was a little distracted looking for Alex’ dark locks between the rest of the crew. He had given up after his while, his concert was almost done and he assumed the young man had grown sick and tired of the show he almost always had watched with interest standing between the fans. However just before he left the stage, to soon return for the encore, he saw the young man in the corner of the front stage area, safe from being crushed between all that people, he had wanted to see the show more clear this time to make a mental copy of the last concert. He never wanted to forget this 1,5 hours, so he had sweet-talked with the securities and finally they had allowed him to stay in the security area. Miles couldn’t help but smile from one to the other ear, before disappearing backstage. The fans called louder than ever for him to come back for the encore and so he shortened his break and come back right on stage.

“Thank you everybody, you were terrific, and I hope we’ll meet again, sometime!” He yelled in the microphone, while starting to play the second to last song.

….

“Is it too late for us now baby?

I’ve noticed things changing.

Is it too late for us now honey?

Is it too late?

It’s never too late!”

….

“Tonight I want to forget forever

Tonight”

The crowd was screaming, not wanting Miles to leave. However a view had noticed that the singer’s attention had been shifted from the middle of the fan area to the security section, and some already had caught eye on Alex sitting on a small folding-chair. The young Sheffielder himself hadn’t noticed and was just magnified on Miles stage presence and energy.

Miles had changed his electric guitar with an acoustic one and cleared his throat. “I will leave you all with a song that was never played live before on stage! I want to dedicate it to a very special person here tonight. It’s called fire in my heart.

“Spiral out of control….”

…

“After all that we’ve been through

I can’t help myself from loving you

And illusions in the dark

Only add more fire in my heart

More fire in my heart...”

Miles hadn’t noticed but Alex had starred at him the whole time. The musician had been busy keeping himself from keeping his glare from the young man, so he had closed his eyes, most of the song.

“Thank you again everybody! Good night!”

With this words Miles had put down his guitar before leaving back behind the curtains, while waving to his fans.

*

“Do you ever regret your decision?” Alex asked his lover while lying on his warm chest. It was a sunny but chilly morning, so he moved a little closer to the man next to him, closing his eyes while listening to the others heartbeat. “Never.” He got as an answer and smiled. “Even your heartbeat sounds like a love song.” The young man grinned slowly lifting his head to kiss the other. “Hear who is talkin’ Mr. ‘Hey I love me baby’” Miles countered laughing loudly before hugging his loved one while rolling over still having Alex in his arms. Now it was the Scouser who was on top, leaning down, kissing his Boyfriend. “Seriously though, I will never doubt my choice that night. I was and will never be happier than when I am with you Alexander D. Turner! I love you!”