Chapter Text
It’s Zoe’s first sleepover party and no boys are allowed.
Except for Evan.
Obviously, except for Evan because he’s slept over a million times and he’s essentially the fifth member of the Murphy family, but really, he’s here for Connor.
He arrives early, Cynthia insisted Heidi bring him by early, and he spends a few minutes with Zoe in her room. She shows Evan her new keyboard and new art kits and new stuffed animals.
Even if he’s Connor’s best friend, Zoe still loves him. He’s at their house almost every day and sometimes Zoe feels like she has two older brothers. Sometimes she prefers Evan to Connor and then she feels guilty for it.
~
His palms are sweaty and he knows it’s ridiculous to freak out about sweaty hands because he’s in a pool and wet from head to toe, but one of the girls brushes his arm by mistake and Evan clamps his eyes shut. Maybe he’ll duck underwater and stay there for the rest of the party. He looks around and sees Connor sitting with his feet dangling in the water and talking to another girl. Evan lets out a shaky breath and makes his way out of the pool and into the house.
Normally he would freak out about tracking water into the Murphy house, but he doesn’t know which towel is his and he doesn’t want to grab the wrong towel. He doesn’t want to do anything out of place. He can’t let it slip that he doesn’t belong.
Evan finds himself in the kitchen and slides to the floor. His back is against the fridge and his head is in his hands. He can feel his heart beating louder and louder, and a part of him is worried it’s going to just stop completely. He briefly considers how that wouldn’t be a bad thing.
He’s shaking and sweating and crying and he doesn’t know why. He’s eleven years old and far too old to be crying in his friend’s kitchen for no reason. This kind of thing has been happening a lot lately, and he’s always at home when it happens. He doesn’t know what to do despite the Murphy house being a second home to him.
The next thing he hears is Connor repeating his name and Evan just tugs on his hair as hard as he can. Connor’s asking him what’s wrong and Evan can’t answer. He can’t talk. He can’t say anything. He doesn’t even know why he’s upset.
Connor’s calling for his mom and soon Cynthia is in the house and then sitting next to Evan. He feels her pull him into her chest and he starts sobbing. He clutches her and breathes her in as she rubs his back and whispers to him.
Connor sits down next to them and reaches out and holds Evan’s hand. He’s silent, he doesn’t know what to say, but he wants to be there for his best friend. He runs his thumb lightly over the back of Evan’s hand until Evan’s breathing evens out.
Cynthia smiles sadly as she glances at Connor who won’t tear his eyes from Evan. Heidi warned her a few months ago that Evan’s started having panic attacks. It was only a matter of time before one happened at the Murphy house considering how much time Evan spent there.
Evan’s become quieter lately. Heidi talks about it a lot with Cynthia. She’s worried about her son. Cynthia nods in understanding and shares her own concerns about Connor.
Connor and Evan eventually end up in Connor’s room, tucked into his bed with Lady and the Tramp playing on the television. Evan’s exhausted, he always is after a panic attack, and leans against Connor. He’s lost count of how many times he’s fallen asleep in Connor’s bed.
Connor feels more settled now that Evan has calmed down. Sometimes Connor thinks that he loves Evan more than he loves his family. He feels guilty for having those thoughts. Sometimes he imagines he and Evan running away and living in a tree house together. He knows Evan would prefer to live in a tree house.
Evan wakes up a few hours later and they venture downstairs. It’s empty apart from Cynthia and Larry walking through the house and cleaning up after the girls who have now taken over the basement. Connor and Evan plant themselves at the kitchen table with a large bowl of chips and big slices of cake. Connor tries to feed Evan the cake, and Evan mixes the frosting colors together and dips his fingers into it.
Cynthia watches from the other side of the kitchen. Connor is never this happy without Evan around. She’s thankful for the other boy who has become a second son to her.