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SWAT Kats/Steven Universe: Defenders United

Summary:

When a missile fries the Pastmaster's watch, the SWAT Kats, their allies, and their enemies are taken from Megakat City, to Beach City, Delmarva- where the Crystal Gems are busy trying to defend the Earth. The Gems and the SWAT Kats must team up before Dark Kat and his cronies can start their own conquest of Earth!

Notes:

A/N: Hi everyone! This is my very first fanfic, and I’d like to say how good it was for the people at Steven Universe to acknowledge one of the most underrated action cartoons from Hanna-Barbera in their crossover with Uncle Grandpa. It was a great show that shouldn’t have ended when it did, although contrary to rumors, Ted Turner did not cancel it, they cancelled it to make room for the What-A-Cartoon project. For SU continuity purposes, this takes place before “When it Rains”; for SK, sometime after season 2 (the unproduced episodes didn’t happen). Anyway, make sure to read and review, and enjoy. Disclaimer: Steven Universe and SWAT Kats are property of Cartoon Network/Turner Broadcasting/Time Warner- I don’t own them.

Chapter 1: Crossovers are headaches for the Gems

Chapter Text

“So guys, what’ll we do with Peridot?” Steven asked. “Well, it looks like she’s holed up in there for now.” Pearl responded.

It was the morning after the Crystal Gems, a team of alien lifeforms grown from gemstones who had settled on Earth to protect it, had found Peridot, a Gem from their Homeworld who was trying to stop the Gems for her master, Yellow Diamond, holed up in their temple headquarters. Steven Quartz Universe, a half-human, half-Gem (from his mother Rose Quartz), was a key part of the team despite being only 14 years old, as the Gems have been training him to utilize his mother’s gem powers.

“Well, you guys managed to pull through some pretty weird stuff this week.” Connie Maheswaran, Steven’s friend and recent Gem battle trainee, was having the events of the past night recapped by Steven, who Peridot had attempted to kidnap, only to end up losing her cyborg limb enhancers and hiding in Steven’s bathroom. Just then, Pearl started twitching like crazy and moving around awkwardly. “What’s wrong, you got ants in your pants, Pearl?” Steven commented. “No, Steven, it’s my non-Gem magic sensors!” “Non-Gem magic sensors? What are those?” Connie questioned. Pearl then explained them: “They’re small devices I’ve placed around the vicinity of Beach City in order to detect any non-Gem magic, in case there’s a threat. And they’re going off!”

Just then, the sky suddenly darkened considerably, and purple lightning began to streak across. The group ran out, and Lion promptly woke up and snarled at the disturbance to his nap. Steven then retrieved Rose’s old sword, which he stored in Lion’s mane, and handed it to Connie, as he summoned his shield. Connie noted “There wasn’t a storm in the forecast.” More purple bolts of lightning were screeching across every moment. “There’s a wormhole opening!” Garnet exclaimed. A purple wormhole was growing as the sky grew darker. Then, several things came out of it.

Firstly, what appeared to be a huge pterodactyl, soaring across the sky, with what appeared to be a small orange being atop it, exited it. It was then followed by a large, mainly gray air vehicle, decorated along the top with black and red spikes and a notably curved nose. Following that, two jet fighters, one white and gray with gold coloring, and a deep-black one with three red engines, also exited the portal, firing on the other ship and creature with lasers and missiles. The Gems watched in confusion and awe as the larger ship opened briefly to let the dinosaur board, then returned fire with a green laser, which missed it’s targets and instead hit the beach nearby, turning some of the sand into glass, and orange beams that sizzled with heat.

The group promptly conferred amongst themselves as to what to do. “We have to get out the Laser Light Cannon!” Amethyst said. But Pearl pointed out “The cannon’s too inaccurate enough for this type of fight! Plus, we need to figure out who our allies are!” Garnet then commented, “The one with the laser, that’s the target.” “Alright then, let’s get ‘em!” Steven said. The group then went on the offensive, Garnet and Pearl heaving both Amethyst and a large boulder towards the larger ship. The rock hit the bird-like vehicle in one of it’s engines, while Amethyst began to try and wrap the air vehicle with her whip. Smoke emitted from the burned-out engine and the ship began to rock back and forth, throwing Amethyst off, while the jet fighters eased their assault.

The bird plane then activated some sort of hidden additional thruster and sped away, leaving the two jet fighters to touch down right on the beach. The Gems rushed over to question them. Only to find strange looking beings- vaguely feline like- emerging from the cockpits of the planes. Lion looked confused. Three came out of the black plane, one coming from a cargo hold on the bottom. The two who piloted it were both male, and garbed in red and blue suits, fingerless gloves, tactical webbing, and helmets and masks- they weren’t wearing any shoes, though. The third one was female with long blonde hair, glasses, and a pink suit. The two who debarked from the gray plane were markedly different. The lead one was a brown male feline, with a short buzzcut and a gray overcoat, while the other was female and had blue and gray armor along with a helmet and an oddly-shaped gun. One of the blue and red ones, specifically the large one, muttered “Oh, crud.”

 

Megakat City, 30 minutes prior

 

“Crud! What is it with this city that attracts supervillains?” “Maybe it’s a voodoo curse or something?" As the SWAT Kats debated why their hometown was so trouble prone, they rolled out of their hangar in their souped-up, junkyard-built jetfighter, known as the TurboKat. Their greatest enemy, the mysterious villain calling himself Dark Kat, was attempting another Alliance of Evil (because it worked so well the last time), now consisting of The Pastmaster, Hard Drive, Chopshop and Turmoil, most of whom he’d busted out of prison to get. He’d even had the Creeplings steal the Gemkat device (the one that had turned Rex Shard into a giant crystal monster) from an Enforcer warehouse. They were currently in Dark Kat’s airship, the Doomsday Express, using the Gemkat as a laser cannon and the ship’s heat cannons to wreak havoc in Downtown.

“TurboKat, this is Enforcer-One, and we’re on our way too. And my uncle is with me, despite his objections.”

Razor and T-Bone smiled at this- Lt. Felina Feral was the Enforcers’ most competent pilot, and liked working with them. Her uncle, Commander Ulysses Feral, less so, but he didn't have much of a choice for this type of situation.

As the TurboKat sped into downtown, they began discussing tactical options. “Alright, so we’re dealing with Dark Kat, Turmoil, Chopshop and Hard Drive. We’ll need to keep a defensive perimeter so we don't get hit by Hard Drive in his electric form. We’ve got Scrambler, Tarpedo, Banshee and Matchhead Missiles. As well as regular missiles, Turboblades and Drop Tops.”

“Don’t forget that Gemkat beam- I’ll try to avoid it as best I can.”

The battle commenced- with the Gemkat firing randomly it was up to T-Bone and Felina to avoid the beams as best they could. They fired repeatedly at the Doomsday Express, but the ship’s force field kept it well-protected. “I’ve got a lock on the emitters- Scrambler Missile, deploy!” The Scrambler shorted out the forcefield, allowing several Enforcer missiles to impact against it.

“Hard Drive, get that force field back up!” “I’m trying, it seems those meddlesome SWAT Kats aimed directly at the forcefield emitters, I need time!” “That is something we do not have the luxury of. Pastmaster, head out and try to distract them.” “At once, Dark Kat.”

“Alright guys, my missiles have reduced the target’s structural integrity- try aiming for the engines and- what in the hell?” Felina and Commander Feral watched as the Pastmaster emerged from the back of Dark Kat’s ship, riding a pterodactyl! “Hah hah, try to escape this!” The TurboKat and the Enforcers narrowly pulled up to avoid crashing into the Pastmaster, spiraling up and over. “Razor, how are we gonna get rid of a pterodactyl? A Tarpedo might not be able to hit it from here.” “No T-Bone, but the upper missile launcher might. Activating now!”

The launcher popped up and fired a mini missile towards the Pastmaster- but right at that moment, he attempted to open a time portal with his mystical pocketwatch, and the missile struck him right there, impacting the pocketwatch! “No, no!” “Pastmaster, what is happening?!” The time portal switched from its’ normal blueish color to a purple, as lightning began streaking across it. The pocketwatch began crackling and glowing with temporal energy!

“Felina, what happened?” “I think that missile messed with the Pastmaster’s watch!” “Razor, is it just me or are we getting sucked into that portal?! I’ve cranked the engines to max output and we’re still going towards it!” “We are! It seems to have formed into a rift in the time-space continuum! We’ll be sucked in and spit out who knows where!” “Well it looks like Dark Kat and the Pastmaster are getting sucked in too! We’re going to have to follow them. Enforcer-One, you copy?” “I copy. We’ll go in and- oh no!”

Felina glanced out and saw Callie Briggs, the Deputy Mayor, getting sucked up from the roof of City Hall and into the portal’s gravitational pull!

“CALLIE!” The SWAT Kats immediately activated the grappling hook and caught Callie, towing her up into the cargo bay. “Oh, thank you guys, I thought I was a goner!” “Everybody brace for impact, we’re heading into the portal!”

The Doomsday Express, the Pastmaster’s pterodactyl, TurboKat, and Enforcer-One headed through the purple portal. Everybody was amazed, as they could see what looked like glimpses of their past, present and future, along with kats none of them knew- if they could even be classified as kats, as they seemed to lack fur and claws. A random Enforcer chopper was also sucked in, but suddenly went down what looked like a small tunnel, going who knew where.

Then they saw the end of the portal- blue sky was visible. “Razor, make sure our systems haven’t been affected by this portal!”

As they emerged, they saw something they didn’t expect- it wasn’t MegaKat City at all anymore! They saw a small seaside town with miles of beach- and just on the beach, a huge structure that appeared to be shaped like a female kat, but with four arms and a mask?! “This is Feral- do you SWAT Kats know where we are?” “For once, we don’t. I have no idea what that thing- look out!”

The Doomsday Express began to fire the Gemkat down at the beach, turning some of the sand to glass. “We’ve got to stop Dark Kat and the others before they harm anyone down on the ground. Uncle, fire the heat-seeker.” “Wait, Felina, look!” She looked to see something purple and a large rock, both hurtling towards Dark Kat’s ship!

“Turmoil, what just hit us?” “I do not know, Dark Kat. It appeared to be a large boulder and some sort of purple... I don’t know. It looks vaguely female. But the boulder disabled our number two engine-” Turmoil was cut off as the ship began rocking back and forth- “We can’t deal with whatever this is combined with both those SWAT Kats and those Enforcers! Pastmaster, return to the ship! Chopshop, open the cargo door!”

The door was opened, and the pterodactyl landed inside, while Chopshop activated the backup engine. “Dark Kat, I’ve located an empty field five miles away from our current position, we can repair and regroup there.” “Excellent, Chopshop. Set a course for that location.”

As Dark Kat’s ship sped away, the SWAT Kats and the Enforcers were confused beyond belief. “Razor, what was that purple thing?” “I dunno, T-Bone, it seemed like a lady, but why was she purple?” “Bottom line is, who or whatever she is, she helped us, and I think she’s got friends down there. We need to meet with them, because we need all the help we can get. And that includes you, Uncle.”

The TurboKat and Enforcer-One then landed (the TurboKat with its’ VTOL), and the assorted kats disembarked, only to see some.... pretty surprising things. “Uh, T-Bone, what are they?” “I have no clue.” What they saw were oddly colored kats (if they could even be called kats), with varying shades of skin color, and even more bizarrely, most of them seemed to have gemstones stuck somewhere on their bodies. There was also a… giant pink lion? And he looked to be confused.

“Oh, crud.”

Chapter 2: Kats meet Gems

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

For a moment, both sides just looked at each other, stunned. They took each other in, not believing what they were seeing… until they snapped out of it and everybody began yelling at once.

 

“You SWAT Kats- I knew you’d find a way to screw us all over!” “Hey Feral, I didn’t know my missile would go off-course and strike the Pastmaster’s watch like that!” “Uncle, it’s not their fault!”

 

Garnet then ended the argument by summoning her gauntlets and smashing them on the ground- everybody stopped at the sudden shaking. “Thank you. Now, who are you, and how did you get here?”

 

The big one then stepped forward. “Well, my name’s T-Bone, and this is Razor. We’re the Swat Kats- we defend our hometown of Megakat City from those who want to see it destroyed or conquered. This is Deputy Mayor Calico Briggs-” he gestured to the woman (?) in pink-”Commander Ulysses Feral of the Enforcers-” the large brown man with the mustache, who glared at T-Bone- “and his niece, Lt. Felina Feral.” The last one, a female with unusual-looking hair nodded. “We were busy battling a bunch of our enemies who had teamed up when one of our missiles struck a magical pocketwatch that could control time- it caused it to go haywire and sucked us all up into this portal thing, and we got spit out here!”

 

“Well, I’m Garnet, and this is Amethyst-” “Yo.” “Pearl-” “Hello there.” “Steven-” “Hi!” “Connie-” “Um, hello.” “and finally, Lion.” Lion just snarled in response. “We are the Crystal Gems, sworn to protect the planet Earth and its’ inhabitants!”

 

“So wait, you’re.. gemstones?”

 

“Well, Miss Briggs, essentially yes. We are inorganic gemstones. Our gems are the centerpieces of our beings, and our bodies are merely physical constructs we generate. We are imbued with what you might consider to be “superpowers”, including enhanced strength, built-in weaponry, and shapeshifting. Amethyst will demonstrate.”

 

“Uh, what should I turn into, Pearl?”

 

“Whatever you want.”

 

“Uh, okay.” Then, to the kats’ amazement, she shifted into a purple-colored clone of Felina! “Whoa, check it out! I’m that girl over there with the funny hair!”

 

The real Felina looked annoyed, then muttered to Callie “My hair is not funny.”

 

As Amethyst shifted back to normal, Razor felt it would be more pressing to shift focus. “So what’s with the kittens there? I don’t see any gemstones on them.”

 

“Well, we’re not kittens. We’re humans! Well, I’m half-human actually.” He then lifted his t-shirt to reveal a glowing pink gem where his belly button should’ve been! “My mother was the former leader of the Gems, Rose Quartz. She gave up her physical form to give birth to me. I inherited her Gem powers, like my shield!” He then summoned a large shield seemingly out of nowhere, bearing a rose design on it. “And see Lion over there? He was my mom’s pet, and he has a storage area inside his mane. I keep stuff in there, like this case of soda!” He then reached over into Lion’s mane, which began to glow briefly, before Steven pulled a case of RC Cola out. “Do you want some?”

 

“No thanks, I’m good. But what about you uh.. Connie?”

 

“Well, I’m a full human. To answer your question, a human is essentially an evolved form of ape, though some dispute this theory. We’re the dominant species here, and cats are animals- some varieties are wild, others are domesticated as pets, and some like Lion here blur the line.“

 

“Well, listen. We need to find Dark Kat and his allies before they can find a way back to our world!”

 

Pearl then projected a hologram of the battle, specifically focusing on the Doomsday Express. “I’m assuming this ‘Dark Kat’ was on board that large aerial attack craft?”

 

“Yeah, that’s his. Dark Kat is the biggest, baddest kat around, He wants nothing but to see Megakat City wiped off the map for lawlessness to run rampant!”

 

Commander Feral then butted in. “And he’s tried to form another Alliance of Evil! He busted some notorious criminals out of Alkatraz Island to try and wreak havoc on all of us! He even had his Creeplings rescue the Pastmaster from the ruins of Katchu Pichu to aid him!”

 

“Wait, he’s tried this… “Alliance of Evil” thing before?”

 

“Yeah, um.. Pearl, right? Me and Razor here had to sacrifice our jet here, the TurboKat, to try and stop him the last time. He teamed up with Dr. Viper, this crazy kat who’d been mutated into part-kat, part-snake with the goal of transforming our city into a swamp, and the Metallikats, an outlaw couple who died, but were brought back to life as cyborgs!”

 

“Man, you guys are crazy!”

 

“Amethyst! Sorry Mr. T-Bone, she didn’t mean that…”

 

“It’s okay, she’s right. Megakat City is crazy.”

 

“I have to agree with you there, Swat Kat. It seems every week there’s a supervillain, a monster or aliens attacking!”

 

“Pardon me, but did you say aliens?”

 

“Yeah, some multi-armed guy named Mutilor tried to steal our planet’s water a while back- we managed to stop him with the aid of some pacifist aliens we rescued from his ship.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“So, um, do you guys wanna go inside and have some lunch?” Steven suggested.

 

“Alright, but you guys live in that… thing over there?” Felina asked, pointing at the Temple.

 

“Oh yeah, that’s the Temple. Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl live there, but I live down there.”, pointing to an obvious add-on near the bottom, constructed out of wood and metal as opposed to stone.

 

“Well, come on, everybody.” Garnet then lead the group up, and as they approached, the kats looked up at the massive Temple, wondering what could be inside.

 

What they found was a small loft, not as impressive as they expected.

 

“This is it? I thought this was your home!”

 

“Mr. Feral, only Steven lives in this part. We Gems have our own rooms accessible through that door over there. We can show them to you later, if you would want to.”

 

“Well, at least you have windows in here- our hangar doesn’t, it gets stuffy in there. T-Bone keeps saying he’ll put in a vent, but he keeps forgetting.”

 

T-Bone promptly slugged Razor in the arm- “And I’m saying I still haven’t found the time to fully inspect where those old pipes go- we’ve gotta get those out of the way first.”

 

“Yeah, that’s your excuse for this week.”

 

Steven had wandered over to the kitchen and was looking through the cabinets, for something that would feed a whole group. “Hey Pearl, do we still have any casserole left?” “No, we ate the last Hamburger Helper last week.” “Aw, no.”

 

Felina then stepped over. “Hey, maybe I can help. I’m a good cook.” She and Steven then commenced a cabinet sweep, looking for things they could make into a good meal. They eventually managed to find some frozen pork chops, instant mashed potatoes, and some corn.

 

“Okay Steven, let’s get to cooking.”

 

But before they could, Peridot suddenly came springing out of the bathroom. “Steven, what’s going on?! I heard thunder, but it wasn’t from underground, so it couldn’t be the Cluster and… Oh my stars.” She trailed off as she caught sight of the Gems’ guests, who were staring at her. T-Bone then spoke up. “Uh, did that green girl just emerge from the bathroom?”

 

Steven then hurried over. “Um, yeah. This is Peridot. She’s from the Gem Homeworld. It’s a long story, but she’s basically been taking refuge in our bathroom for a little while now. Peridot, these are visitors from another world. Those blue-and-red guys are the Swat Kats, the lady in the pink suit is Callie, the guy in the grey coat is Commander Feral, and that’s his niece Felina over in the kitchen.”

 

“Wha- where did they come from? In my years of research back on Homeworld, I haven’t seen any sentient beings like this. Stay back!”

 

Razor went over and took hold of her. “Whoa, easy, miss. We’re not going to harm you. We’re from another world, but thanks to our enemies we got sucked up and spit out here!” He then turned to T-Bone with a thoughtful look. “You know, I think we might be in another alternate dimension, T-Bone.”

 

“Oh, don’t remind me. The last time we went to an alternate dimension, it was one where we were the bad guys!” At Callie and Felina’s odd looks, he shrugged. “I’ll tell you later.”

 

“Well, what happened to your eyes? They’re all blank!”

 

“Uh, it’s a stylistic choice and-”

 

“Well, it does kinda make you guys look threatening. Why don’t we take off those bandanna?”

 

Before they could stop him, Steven casually went behind T-Bone and Razor and removed their bandannas- and their helmets too- revealing their real identities! Callie looked like she was frozen solid, Felina’s jaw had dropped open, and Feral at first had a look of confusion, then realization- and mounting anger.

 

“Clawson? Furlong? You two are the Swat Kats?”

 

“Wait, your identities, they were supposed to be secret?”

 

“Yeah, kid. That’s why we wore those.”

 

“Oops.”

 

--------

 

Meanwhile, Dark Kat had managed to land in a field some distance away from Beach City. But to his dismay, the Doomsday Express was in need of repair, and only Chopshop could fix it.

 

“Aaargh! First those Swat Kats blow us all to who knows where, and now my ship is unusable!” He then frustratedly kicked one of his own Creeplings around like a kickball.

 

“It was not my fault Dark Kat! I didn’t realize what a missile strike could do to my pocketwatch! I’m still repairing it as we speak, and-”

 

“Silence, Pastmaster! I was able to have the Creeplings rescue you from the ruins of Katchu Pichu, and I can just as easily have you thrown off a cliff by them!”

 

The Pastmaster promptly shut up and scurried away. But then Turmoil approached. “Dark Kat, what are we going to do? We are in a world that isn’t ours, protected by things we aren’t sure of, and those Swat Kats are still out there!”

 

“Turmoil, I will admit, I’m not too sure myself. From what I glimpsed while on our way here, it seems kats aren’t the dominant species around here. They look like kats, but without fur. But regardless, we will defeat those meddlesome vigilantes, those annoying Enforcers, and whoever their new allies are. Then we will conquer this world!”

 

“Good, but make sure to keep T-Bone alive. I still want him for what he did to betray me.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind. The Pastmaster has already set his sights on the Deputy Mayor. Chopshop, how is your progress on repairing the ship?”

 

Chopshop then hurried out, covered in grease and stains. “I’ve been trying to get the number 3 engine back up, but it’s proving.. Difficult. For now, we’ll have to wait until I can get it- the auxiliary thruster can’t be used as a permanent substitute, it’ll overheat when it’s used for too long.”

 

“Hmmph. What about the weaponry?”

 

“The Gemkat is operational, but the heat cannons took a licking. They’re operating at reduced power until further notice.”

 

“It doesn’t matter how long we take- once we eliminate our enemies, we will conquer this world with no one to oppose us- even if we failed on our home planet, we will win here! Alliance of Evil, are you with me?!”

 

Chopshop, Pastmaster and Turmoil then gathered around and saluted. “Excellent- this world will become a lawless paradise with no one to stop us! Ha ha ha ha!”

 

Notes:

For those of you wondering, I've assumed that after its' appearance in "The Wrath of Dark Kat", he constructed a new Doomsday Express, incorporating salvaged equipment from his "Fear Ship" (a plane he flew in the flashback from said episode), which explains why it has three engines.

As for the Pastmaster, my guess is that the Creeplings were small enough to infiltrate the Katchu Pichu ruins and rescue the Pastmaster (since we never saw him after the episode).

More drama is on the way in chapter 3!

Chapter 3: Identity Trouble

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The house was in a state of shock- thanks to Steven’s good intentions, Chance and Jake’s identities had been exposed! They could hear Commander Feral’s blood pressure rising-- it was that quiet. Then everybody began yelling at each other again- Feral looking like he was gonna break a blood vessel, Chance spitting at him, and Amethyst trying to egg on the fight. Eventually, Garnet whistled loudly.

 

“All right! Everyone stop! Why are you all fighting?!”

 

Pearl then strided over and began to restrain the Commander. “And you, Mr. Feral, certainly seem to be living up to your name. Now why are you so opposed to these two, anyway?”

 

Steven, looking guilty, started to calm down Chance. “Well, I didn’t realize they were keeping their identities secret! I thought you wore those bandannas to look cool, given how they made your eyes blank and everything…”

 

Razor then spoke up. “Listen, I’ll tell you what happened. It was three years ago- I was Lt. Jake Clawson, a member of the Enforcers’ SWAT team- me and my best buddy, Lt. Chance Furlong, were some of the best pilots in the fleet. But one day, we were busy chasing down Dark Kat in our fighter. He was destroying downtown, and was trying to destroy Enforcer headquarters. We had missile lock, and we were gonna blow him out of the sky right then and there-”

 

Chance butted in. “Until that asshole Feral clipped our wing and tried to take down Dark Kat himself, just for his own personal glory! We crashed into Enforcer Headquarters and damaged it, and Dark Kat escaped, but Feral decided that we would pay for repairing it! So we got demoted to the MegaKat Scrapyard- where we realized that all the tech the Enforcers were throwing away could still be used.”

 

Realization then dawned on Callie’s face. “So you were able to construct your vehicles and equipment from just junkyard scrap?!”

 

Jake gave a nod. “That’s right, we realized that with Commander Feral in charge things weren’t gonna get any better, so we opted to take on the villains our way- we dubbed ourselves as the SWAT Kats, we’re the squadron that takes the radical measures when no one else can!”

 

Felina, meanwhile, cornered her uncle, looking fit to maul him. “I can’t believe this, Uncle Ulysses!” Feral cringed, as his first name was rarely used, and if Felina was using it, that meant she was really pissed. “You said you had demoted Ensign Steele to traffic cop duties precisely because of antics like that. And then I learn you’ve done much the same in the past?! I can’t believe how much of a hypocrite you are!”

 

“But those Swat Kats are vigilantes who are-” “ZIP IT!”

 

While Feral sweated nervously, Callie walked over to Chance and Jake. “I still can’t reconcile the fact that Megakat City’s greatest heroes are also the kats who fix my car on a regular basis.”

 

Chance then started blushing and rubbed the back of his head. “Well Miss Briggs, it’s not exactly easy. We spent a ton of time just drawing blueprints for how the TurboKat was gonna function, not to mention renovating the old hidden base beneath the garage left over from MegaWar II-”

 

“Yeah, plus we needed to find parts, missiles, computers, and that’s not mentioning how we still had to fix cars, run the yard, and deal with those jackasses Burke and Murray!”

 

Steven then went over to Chance. “Listen, Mr. T-Bone, I’m sorry about all this. I didn’t think you were keeping your identities hidden-”

 

Chance sighed, then turned to Steven. “Steven, we probably would’ve had to reveal them sooner or later. But I gotta tell you, this is the weirdest day I’ve had since that… “relative” of ours visited us.”

 

“Relative?”

 

“Yeah, he actually kinda looked like a human, now that I think about it. He came up to us in his RV, he was having trouble with it. He claimed he was both our uncle and our grandpa, while baffled me and Jake, but then crazy crap started happening- there was some lizard guy who fought with Dr. Viper, there was a living slice of pizza who Burke and Murray kept chasing around trying to eat, and a giant flying tiger went out for coffee with Miss Briggs. I think I may have eaten a bad burrito that day.”

 

“Nope, I remember, he visited me too. He claimed his visit wasn’t “canon”, whatever that meant. He was weird, but he helped me to master my shield! The Gems didn’t like him at all, they found him too weird. But Lion and that tiger of his seemed to be getting along.”

 

Just then, Greg suddenly appeared at the front door. “Hey guys, what’s with the jets over…” He trailed off as he saw the scene- “So, who are these guys? Or, cats in this case?”

 

“Oh, dad. Uh, these guys with the suits are Chance and Jake- they call themselves the SWAT Kats. The girl in the suit is Callie, and that’s Felina over there, yelling at her uncle Ulysses.”

 

Pearl then walked over to Greg. “They’ve come here from another world- they were in pursuit of their enemies when a wormhole sucked them in and took them here. These SWAT Kats are vigilantes, and Steven accidentally exposed their identities.”

 

Greg looked thoughtful for a second. “Well, okay. I came here because I need help fixing my van. Steven, do you think you can help me?”

 

“Actually, Dad, I think Chance here can help. He’s a mechanic!”

 

“He is?”

 

“It’s a long story, Mr…” “Greg Universe. I’m Steven's human father. I run a car wash over in town.”

 

“Oh, well we could certainly use one for our jet. Do you think it’ll fit?”

 

“Nope.”

 

Greg, Steven and Chance then headed outside to where Greg’s van was parked. Smoke was emitting from the engine “Whoa, nice paint job.” “Yeah, that was from when I was trying to be a rockstar. Didn’t really work out.”

 

Chance popped the hood and proceeded to take a look at the engine. “Hmm, when’s the last time you had your oil changed?” “Not sure, maybe two months ago?” Chance then began inspecting other parts of the engine- clearing out some old leaves from nooks and crannies in the process- then found something wedged inbetween some of the pipes. He pulled out what looked like an old soapy rag. “I think this is what was bugging it- it was blocking one of your engine’s air intakes.” “Oh, so that’s where that ended up. I was using a rag to sample a new type of soap for the car wash, but a bird took it and I couldn’t see where it dropped. Thanks!”

 

“No problem.”

 

“I mean, you’re as good a mechanic as Charlie and Barry over in Charm City- they helped tow my van back in 86, and they’re automotive geniuses!”

 

Back inside, Callie had approached the Commander, not looking pleased. “Once we get back to MegaKat City, Commander, I’m going to launch an investigation into your actions towards Chance and Jake. It’s very ironic- the biggest thorn in your side was caused by your shortsighted actions!” Meanwhile, Pearl was talking with Jake. “So Mr. Clawson, do you ever regret being a vigilante?” “Miss Pearl, sometimes we have to make big sacrifices to help those who need help. We’ve had the TurboKat destroyed quite a few times, we’ve had other vehicles wrecked or crushed by whatever’s threatening the city this week, and there’s times where me and Chance have nearly lost our lives to mutations or deathtraps. But we keep going because we knew the city depended on us.”

 

Pearl then looked wistful, remembering Rose’s words. “I think I understand where you’re coming from. I’ve been on this planet since humans were merely living in caves, and I remember Rose vowing to defend the residents of this planet from the Homeworld Gems, and that’s still our vow. We won’t rest until we know the Earth is safe.”

 

“Yeah, but our enemies got away, and who knows what they’re planning!”

Notes:

Ensign Steele is the Steele who was Lt. Commander in season 1 of SK- I presume that in between seasons, he was demoted down far because of his actions (being a dirty traitor, a coward, etc.)

And yes, "Say Uncle" is in fact canon here. Steven's still trying to make sense of it, while the Gems have just tried to repress it. And I came up with the details of how UG even encountered the SWAT Kats world- his RV was having mechanical issues, so Mr. Gus looked up the nearest garage in the multiverse. MegaKat Auto Repair happened to be it.

And the mechanic friends of Greg, Charlie and Barry, are supposed to be the human equivalents of Chance and Jake in the SU world, named after their voice actors, Charlie Adler and Barry Gordon. Charm City is the in-universe equivalent of Baltimore- since MegaKat City seems so grungy and rundown, I figured Baltimore's equivalent would be a good place for them.

Chapter 4 will have the SK characters be taken on a tour of Beach City- just sit back and watch the hilarity happen!

Chapter 4: The Tour

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Steven, Greg and Chance were still making sure that Greg’s van didn’t have any other issues, when Greg decided to ask Chance something. “So, you’re a vigilante and a car mechanic at the same time? How’d that happen? And is that your jet over there, with the red and black paint job?”

 

Chance replied proudly “Yep, that’s the TurboKat. We built off the chassis of an F-14 Tomkat, then started adding all sorts of crazy gadgets, devices, missiles, you name it, we’ve got it. It’s capable of VTOL, has three main engines for a potential top speed of Mach 2, we can load in vehicles, we’ve got all sorts of crazy missiles for whatever the threat is this week, and my buddy Razor- or Jake- can have his seat slide back and be released as a motorcycle.”

 

Greg’s jaw dropped. “You have all of that? Where’d you get all the technology?”

 

Chance smirked. “Junkyard scrap, believe it or not.”

 

Then, the Gems and the other kats came out of the house. Felina and Callie were still glowering at a sheepish looking Feral, Jake was showing Pearl and Connie his Glovatrix, Garnet looked stoic as usual and Amethyst looked bored.

 

“So, anybody know what we should do now?” Amethyst asked.

 

The group began looking at each other. “Well, we don't seem to have any issues with the TurboKat, and Enforcer-One checks out too.”

 

“OK then Chance, how about we take you and the others on a tour of Beach City! There’s all sorts of fun stuff, there’s the boardwalk, Funland, and the Big Donut.”

 

Chance turned to Jake. “Well, we haven’t had a day off in a while, so I’m up for it. Jake?”

 

“Sure. But does Commander Feral have to come with us? I don’t want him to suddenly put us in handcuffs.”

 

Feral glowered at him. “As long as we are here, I can’t. The Deputy Mayor here has informed me that this is not my jurisdiction. But when we get back—“ Felina then stopped her uncle before he could start on another rant.

 

“Alright, everyone, let’s go out and have some fun!”

 

----

 

Steven acted as the kats’ tour guide, the Gems and his dad lagging behind. “So this is the Big Donut, where I go at least once a week. I’m pretty sure Mr. Feral would like it, he’s a police officer.” Feral just ground his teeth together, while Chance and Jake snickered.

 

Sadie waved to Steven as he entered, while Lars was zoned out, as usual. “Hey Steven-- whoa. I see you’ve got more cats than you know what to do with.” “No Sadie, they aren’t like Lion, These kats are from another universe, they came here by accident, it’s a long story.”

 

Lars just scowled. “Well, tell your new cat friends to stay out of the dumpster, Steven. I’m tired of finding Lion in there when I go to take out the trash!” With that, he walked off into the backroom. “Sorry about that, Lars is… kinda irritated about Lion. Anyway, do you and your friends want anything?”

 

A few minutes later, the group were munching on donuts and/or pretzels as they headed for the boardwalk. Jake saw an unusual-looking child, apparently busy looting a broken vending machine. He began to head over when Steven stopped him. “No Jake, you can’t… tie him up or however you normally deal with your enemies. That’s Onion, he just kinda does his own thing. It’s best not to disturb him.” “If you say so, Steven.”

 

Once they were at the boardwalk, the group split into smaller clusters, exploring the attractions. “OK everybody, let’s meet back here in an hour.”

 

Chance and Callie wandered over to a t-shirt shop, browsing the wares. “Huh, I don’t even know what an “Andalite” is, but they got t-shirts of them.” Holding one up for analysis, he could see it looked like a deer, scorpion and bug all mixed into one being.

 

Callie, meanwhile, saw something else. A shirt with what looked like a green alien and a human woman, co-anchoring a newscast. The alien was shouting “DOOM!” while the woman laughed. “I don’t know why, but I feel a connection to this shirt.”

 

Jake and Felina, meanwhile, had arrived at the Funland Arcade. Mr. Smiley was eyeing them warily. “Hmm, I’m hoping those guys aren’t from that cult again. Their disguises last time were good.”

 

As he thought that over, the duo reached a water gun game. “Have you ever played one of these, Felina? I played some when I was a kid, but I haven’t gone to anything like this in years.”

 

She just smirked. “You’re talking to one of the top record-holders at the Enforcer shooting range, Clawson. Watch and learn.” A few minutes later, they walked out, with two different stuffed toys-- a turtle and a whale-- in Jake’s arms. “Damn, you blew me out of the water there. Literally and figuratively.” “Well, what’d I tell you? Now, let’s go try our luck at Skee-ball.” “That I think I can do better at.”

 

Commander Feral was the only one left, and to his annoyance, he was accompanied by Pearl. “I’m telling you, I don’t need you watching my every move.” “Technically no, but I’m not letting you out of my sight Mr. Feral. Considering your hatred for these “Swat Cats”, I’m not inclined to leave you alone until you start acknowledging them as the heroes they are.”

 

They approached Beach Citywalk Fries, where Peedee was on duty. “Oh, hi Pearl. Who’s that guy?” “Hello, there. This is Ulysses Feral. I’m not letting him out of my sight. It’s a long story.”

 

Suddenly, Ronaldo came bounding out of the back. “Aha! I knew it! This whole area is a breeding ground of genetic engineering! That explains why the government has let the Gems be here for so long, they’re using their own weirdness as a cover for super-secret experiments!” He took out his phone and started snapping pictures of Feral, who could only stare in bewilderment. “Peedee, I’ve gotta go post these pics, I’ll be right back!” “But Ronaldo--” Peedee’s complaint’s fell on deaf ears, as Feral shook his head in confusion. “What just happened?” Pearl just rolled her eyes.

 

Meanwhile, Steven was returning from Cone ‘n’ Son with a malted milk, Connie with a strawberry cone, and Greg with a Choco Taco. As Steven sipped his malt, he sighed. “Mmm, they make it perfect everytime.” But as he sipped, he realized he could hear something. It sounded like the engines of that attack plane from earlier! Steven’s eyes widened as he spotted the Doomsday Express on the horizon!

 

“Guys, we’ve got a problem--” BOOM! As an explosion rang out from Rehoboth Bay (the Doomsday Express’ heat beams having sunk a fishing trawler for target practice), the Gems minus Pearl (who had mainly been keeping watch on the boardwalk rooftops) leapt into action. “It looks like that Alliance of Evil is back for more.” “Pearl, we’ve gotta hold them off, give the Swat Kats and Enforcers a chance to mobilize their fighters. Amethyst, it’s time for a fastball special!” As Garnet activated her gauntlets, Amethyst shifted into a large sphere, looking like an oversized dodgeball.

 

Steven, Connie, and Greg. meanwhile, had met up with the kats and hauled butts to Greg’s van. As they hurriedly piled in, Chance explained what they needed to do. “Alright, it looks like Dark Kat’s managed to repair his ship. We need to strike fast and hard, take it down as soon as possible. We can’t risk Beach City being destroyed and the civilians getting injured.” He turned to his allies first. “Jake, you see how many weapons we got left. Callie, take the Cyclotron we keep in the cargo bay, use it as ground patrol, try to evacuate the residents if you can. Felina, Commander, you--”

 

Feral cut him off. “I’m in charge here, Furlong! I might be out of my jurisdiction, but Felina answers to me. She will not--” Feral suddenly stopped talking, and his eyes suddenly drooped. He promptly collapsed, passed out. Felina looked up. “I knew packing this tranq dart would come in handy.”

 

As Greg screeched to halt outside the Temple, everyone ran out and hurried towards the TurboKat and Enforcer-One. “All right, Swat Kats, this is where we make it count. Let’s go kick some tail!”

Notes:

Sorry I haven't been updating lately-- it's been a combination of real-life issues, working on other fics and projects, and running out of ideas for a time. Hopefully I'll be able to come up with more ideas as our heroes head into battle.

Chapter 5: Endgame

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Dark Kat surveyed Beach City from the top of the Doomsday Express. It was a relatively insignificant settlement, but examining the land showed two larger cities, “Charm City” and “Freedom City”, relatively nearby. Therefore, this town would serve as a good test run for the Alliance of Evil before moving onto bigger prey-- and not only that, but they could eliminate the SWAT Kats, the Enforcers, and their unusually-colored allies in one fell swoop.

 

“Alliance of Evil, into battle! Take no prisoners!” Dark Kat commanded imperiously.

 

Back near the Temple, Chance and Jake were busy prepping the TurboKat for battle, checking their weapons loadouts and propulsion systems. Callie was boarding the detached Cyclotron, getting a feel for the motorcycle-- she’d ridden a few times, but not since college, when one of her sorority sisters was a motorcycle nut. “Note to self-- call Katy, thank her profusely for teaching me how to ride one of these,” Callie thought.

 

Felina was tucking her uncle into the back of Greg’s van, still passed out. “I’m gonna need someone to occupy the second seat, I can’t pilot and target at the same time!” Felina realized. She turned to Greg. “I know you don’t have any piloting experience, but can you at least aim my weaponry for me?” Greg nodded. “My cousin’s the pilot, but I think I can help you. I’ve played a lot of video games with Steven.”

 

“Speaking of, where is he, anyway?” Jake asked. Then, Lion came rushing in, Steven and Connie atop him, Connie wielding Rose’s saber. “We’re gonna be on the ground, Mr. Clawson, fighting to save our town!” Connie exclaimed, a determined look on her face.

 

Meanwhile, Garnet was busy hurling Amethyst at Dark Kat, who was standing atop the Doomsday Express as it flew over the town-- only for Dark Kat to quickly hit her with his cane like a bat, flinging Amethyst right back into Garnet! “You will have to do better than that if you want to take me down! Creeplings, swarm them!” A whole mob of Creeplings then surged forwards seemingly from nowhere, attacking Garnet and Amethyst like a pack of ants.

 

The citizens of Beach City were mainly hunkering down indoors, as usual with most Gem battles. But Onion had his own bat, and quickly mowed down Creeplings left and right! He jumped up onto the massive pile and began whaling at the creatures, until Garnet summoned her gauntlets again, flinging the rest of the pests away! “Good work, Onion!” Garnet said, giving him a thumbs-up.

 

The TurboKat, meanwhile, had taken flight, as had Enforcer-One. The Doomsday Express (now with Dark Kat back onboard) was busy firing its’ heat beams at the two fighters, forcing them to dodge and weave. “Alright, Greg, this is where you come in. Move your joystick until you acquire target lock. Use the trigger to fire missiles and the round button to fire the guns!”

 

“Got it, Miss Felina!” He looked at the display, pulled the trigger, and a pair of missiles flew directly at the Doomsday Express-- only for the deflector shields to activate. “Damn, Chopshop must’ve gotten that when he raided our parts department some time ago! Greg, fire the guns instead!”

 

The lasers began firing, but they too fell victim to the powerful shields. “Heads up guys, Scrambler on the way!” Jake said over the radio. “What’s a Scrambler?” Greg asked. “It’s one of the TurboKat’s crazy missiles, it delivers electrical impacts.” Suddenly, the glowing shield began fizzling with yellow bolts, before shorting out and vanishing. “Designed to eliminate force fields, among other uses.”

 

“Chopshop, activate the Gemkat!” Dark Kat yelled. “I have a lock on the Enforcer ship and-- wait, there’s something firing at us from the ground!” A pink beam, shaped like a woman, seemed to bloom out from the ground, swirling through the air before impacting against the Doomsday Express’ fuselage, causing a massive burst of sparks to emit from the control panels!

 

“Good work, Steven!” Greg cheered on his son. “Now, Miss Felina, I think we can actually do some damage!” As the TurboKat began battering the craft with quick-drying cement, Greg began firing lasers, adding to the barrage.

 

Back on the ground, Callie was busy on the Cyclotron, weaving between buildings as a flock of Creeplings chased after her. “I’ve got to get these things off my tail!”

 

She hit a button, and the rear-mounted cannon swiveled around, firing lasers that fried several of the Creeplings. But before Callie could turn around and get the rest, the Pastmaster suddenly dropped from the sky and right onto the front of the Cyclotron! “Hello, my dear Callista…” He breathed. “Get off, you creepy little warlock!” Callie gunned the engines and turned down Thayer St, hoping to knock the Pastmaster off. But he clung to the canopy, before Amethyst suddenly appeared running alongside her! “Hey, you need a little help?”

 

“You get out of here!” The Pastmaster shouted before Amethyst stretched her arm out, removed him from the Cyclotron, and hurled him away towards the Doomsday Express! “AAAAAGGGGHHHHH….”

 

“Good thing he weighs less than I do, or otherwise I wouldn't have been able to do that.” Amethyst commented as Callie slowed the Cyclotron to a halt.

 

Meanwhile, Dark Kat was busy trying to activate the force field, but found the Scrambler missile had completely fried the shield projector! “AARGH!” Dark Kat smashed a control panel in anger, causing the ship to start spinning out of control! “NO! I WILL NOT BE DENIED MY WORLD!” Dark Kat screamed as fires broke out, while Turmoil growled in frustration.

 

“Sir, we can’t damage the ship anymore, the Gemkat and the heat beams might--” Chopshop was cut off as Dark Kat smacked him across the cockpit. He flew straight into a bulkhead, knocking him out!

 

“Dark Kat, I will not stand for this!” Turmoil shouted. “I am taking command now, you are clearly unfit to lead this Alliance!”

 

“YOU HAVE NO SAY IN MY DECISIONS!” He then attempted to grab Turmoil in one of his massive claws, but Turmoil dodged him and tackled his legs, causing Dark Kat to collapse onto another control panel-- the one that could remotely operate the Gemkat! The device powered up and began spitting beams all over!

 

Just then, the Pastmaster impacted into the fuselage, sending the Doomsday Express into a tailspin! “OK, kats, now’s our chance to bring Dark Kat down once and for all! Everybody concentrate fire!” At T-Bone’s command, the TurboKat let loose with about a dozen missiles, Enforcer-One sprayed lasers, and Steven activated the Laser Light Cannon! The combined barrage blew smoking holes into the ship!

 

The Gemkat beams were firing every which way, forcing the TurboKat and Enforcer-One to weave and dodge past! “T-Bone, I need a solid target lock!” Razor complained. “Well that Gemkat device seems to have blown a fuse!” T-Bone countered.

 

Some of the beams hit the ground, and since the Gemkat was designed to find and attract Gems…. “WHOA!” Steven found himself pulled irresistibly towards the Doomsday Express!

 

“Lion, we need to get to Steven now!” Connie shouted! Lion promptly roared and created a portal, heading straight for the Doomsday Express interior! They emerged to find Steven on the floor, trying to stop the Gemkat’s beam! “Connie, slice it open!”

 

Connie quickly slashed Rose’s saber across the device, cleaving it in two! The beams stopped, allowing Steven to stagger back up. Summoning his shield, Steven got a determined look on his face. “We have to stop that Dark Kat guy before it’s too late!”

 

Dark Kat and Turmoil were still fighting, before Steven’s shield broke them apart. “OK, Dark Kat, I think you need to stop before anyone else gets hurt.”

 

After a few seconds, Dark Kat simply began chuckling. “Oh, I haven’t heard something that funny in years. You remind me of me, when I still thought being nice could get you anywhere.” He stomped over and picked Steven up by his head! “But I learned a long time ago, that justice and truth are outdated relics. Lawlessness and chaos are and will be the future!”

 

Connie ran over and tried to break Dark Kat’s grip, but Turmoil intercepted her, using Dark Kat’s cane to trip her up! “Foolish little girl, why don’t you let the adults handle this?” She sneered patronizingly.

 

Connie, incensed, swung Rose’s sword at Turmoil, but Turmoil quickly dodged it, and a cane vs. sword fight began! Meanwhile, Steven managed to activate his shield bubble, causing Dark Kat to drop him. “What the?”

 

Outside the ship, the SWAT Kats, Gems, Felina and Greg were discussing what to do next.

 

“We have to get Steven and Connie out of there!” Greg cried out. “Calm down, Greg, we’ll think of something!” Felina assured him.

 

“SWAT Kats, look down!” At Garnet’s voice, the SKs, Felina and Greg looked out their canopies, and saw the other Crystal Gems. “We need to get that thing out of the sky before it crashes into the town!” Pearl shouted. She then turned to Amethyst. “Are you ready?” Amethyst nodded. Their bodies began glowing, and the two fused, before their masses reshaped into a new figure-- Opal!

 

“Kats alive!” T-Bone shouted. Razor couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “Is this an after effect of the dimensional travel?” Felina muttered.

 

Greg then tapped Felina on the shoulder. “To answer your question, Gems can fuse with one another into different gems. Garnet’s actually a full-time fusion.” Felina then turned to face him. “Greg, just concentrate on manning the weapons while I try to process what just happened.” Opal prepared her bow and began firing energy arrows, while Garnet launched her gauntlets-- both targeted the Doomsday Express! The arrows impacted the heat beams, while the gauntlets smashed into the engines!

 

Inside, Connie had managed to get the upper-hand against Turmoil, saber pressed against cane, as the ship lurched! “Steven, we’ve gotta get out of here!”

 

“I’m a little busy, Connie!” Dark Kat attempted to grasp the bubble with Steven inside, but Steven instead popped the bubble, allowing him to scramble away from Dark Kat. He summoned his shield as Dark Kat brought his massive fist down! Steven was staring out the windshield, catching sight of Opal! “Giant woman!”

 

“Steven, get out of there!” Garnet shouted. Steven rolled underneath Dark Kat’s legs and scrambled away! “Get back here, you little pest!”

 

Lion, who’d been keeping watch on the unconscious Chopshop, ran to Steven. Steven activated Lion’s mane dimension and entered it halfway. “Connie, get in here!”

 

Dark Kat, meanwhile, began to try to use the heat beams again. “Work, damn you!” He pounded the control panel in anger-- which jarred the systems, rendering the heat beam functional…. only for the targeting system to misalign and begin aiming at the interior occupants! Turmoil shrieked as her cap was disintegrated by a heat beam!

 

Connie used the distraction to clamber inside Lion’s mane. “Go Lion!” At Steven’s command, Lion roared and created a portal leading for the beach, as the Doomsday Express loomed ever closer to crashing!

 

“They’re out! You’re clear to fire!” Garnet informed everyone. “Locking on Matchhead Missiles!” Razor’s HUD showed the crosshairs moving to target the Doomsday Express, while Greg did the same with his lasers. “Lasers fully charged.” Opal readied her bow again, and Garnet aimed her other gauntlet.

 

“FIRE!” At T-Bone’s command, a volley of missiles, lasers and other projectiles shot for Dark Kat’s ship. Inside, Chopshop had regained consciousness, and he weakly got up, ignoring Dark Kat and Turmoil currently trying to strangle each other. “Uh, everybody? Brace for impact!”

 

Dark Kat barely had time to react before the Doomsday Express was struck-- the ship began to break apart over the beach, scattering debris everywhere!

 

“We did it.” Garnet said in her trademark cool tone, as she retrieved her gauntlets. “Alright!” Felina cheered. “Yeah!” Greg followed as Felina nosed Enforcer-One down towards the beach.

 

Razor simply leaned back and sighed. “I can’t believe it. It’s finally over, Chance.” T-Bone nodded. “Yeah, buddy. We saved the day, for good this time.”

 

Opal de-fused into Amethyst and Pearl, just as Callie rode up, the unconscious Pastmaster tied to the back of the Cyclotron. “Alright, those creepos are history!” Amethyst said, turning into a bottle rocket-- she ignited and flew around in celebration! “It’s a good feeling to triumph in battle.” Pearl remarked. “I’m just glad this little creeper is knocked out. Now we can figure out how his watch works and get back to our world.”

 

------

 

Soon, everybody gathered around the TurboKat and Enforcer-One, as Garnet and Amethyst hefted Chopshop, Turmoil and the Pastmaster’s unconscious bodies into the TurboKat’s cargo bay. Meanwhile, Commander Feral had woken up from his forced nap, and wasn’t too happy he wasn’t there to take the villains down.

 

“I should’ve been there, I wanted to take him down for good!” he ranted. Felina just shook her head. “Uncle, you remember that your impatience and lust for glory was what created the Swat Kats, right?” Feral turned away and huffed.

 

Meanwhile, Pearl and Callie were trying to figure out how to repair the Pastmaster’s watch. “I don’t normally say this, but I don’t know how to work it. It’s from another universe, it’s completely new to me!” Pearl said in exasperation.

 

“Well, we have to figure out how iot works, we need to get back home.” Callie said, determinedly.

 

Further down the beach, Steven, Connie, T-Bone and Razor approached the main wreckage of the Doomsday Express. “I tried to reason with the Dark Kat guy. He said I reminded him of himself, back when he believed in good behavior or something.” Steven said.

 

“So, wait, where did all those Creepling things go?“ Connie wondered. “That’s the strangest thing. As soon as the Doomsday Express crashed, they all vanished. Maybe they were tied to Dark Kat’s lifeforce or something.” Chance said.

 

They approached the outer edge of what had been the cockpit, when suddenly it burst open! The group stepped back as Dark Kat emerged! But he wasn’t looking so hot-- his robes had been burned away, and his cloak was thrown back. His skin was exposed-- and so was the circuitry beneath! He was seething with rage. “You meddling Swat Kats! And that little friend of yours, you will pay for what you have done!”

 

He charged at the group, but Steven activated his shield and expanded it, forming a barrier bubble! “I don’t believe it, Dark Kat survived!” T-Bone exclaimed. “And he’s a cyborg! That explains why he’s so big compared to everyone else.” Razor commented, “How can we stop him?” Connie said, panicked.

 

“That’s why we have our Glovatrixes.” T-Bone said, holding his up. He promptly began looking through the ammo container in one of his front pouches, while the crazed Dark Kat pounded on the shield bubble. “I think I’ve got something.” He promptly inserted a trio of projectiles into the firing tubes, which then raised. “Steven, lower your shield!” “Mr. T-Bone, I don’t think--” “Trust me, I’ve got an idea.”

 

Steven then dissipated the bubble. Dark Kat stumbled, but quickly got backup, practically foaming at the mouth! “I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!”

 

“Now, Razor!” He and Razor fired the mini-missiles from their Glovatrixes-- they impacted against Dark Kat’s exposed cybernetic parts, and electrical bolts leapt into his body! “ARRGH!” Dark Kat’s whole body was covered in electricity, and he flailed about, until he touched a piece of his own ship-- it shorted him out, causing him to fall backwards!

 

“Mini-Scramblers, never leave the hangar without them.” The group approached Dark Kat’s cyborg body, as the other kats and gems rushed to the scene. “What happened?” Pearl asked, now quite confused. “It seems Dark Kat was a cyborg all along.” Razor explained.

 

“Look, something’s happening!” Connie exclaimed, pulling her sword from Lion’s forehead. Dark Kat’s body split open, as a thin, brown-furred kat emerged from the ruins of the robotic shell. He crawled along the ground, before looking up to find about a dozen weapons pointed at him.

 

Feral gasped in shock. “It can’t be!” Callie shook her head in disbelief. “No way!” T-Bone and Razor simply aimed their Glovatrixes at the kat. “So who are you, really?”

 

“I’m surprised you don’t recognize me. I am your district attorney.” The kat said, in a voice not electronically deepened to sound threatening,

 

“Brock Potamkin. I… can’t believe it. All this time, you were trying to destroy your own home?” Feral asked, voice cracking.

 

“Yes, Commander. I started as idealistic as that boy with the shield.” Brock said, pointing to Steven. “What happened? Why would you turn against justice?” Felina asked.

 

“Because with people like Feral, Steele and Manx in charge, and others like the Manges causing crime, I felt like nothing I could do as DA would help to make change. I decided that if I couldn’t change the system from the inside, I’d destroy it from the outside. I had a cyborg body constructed, had my minions genetically created, and began my campaign of terror. And it indirectly led to those two becoming the SWAT Kats, battling me and others as well as the system itself. But sadly, these two also began foiling my plans to wipe MegaKat City off the map to make a clean start, so I began to concentrate on ridding myself of them.“ Brock explained.

 

“So what do we do with him now?” Pearl asked, clearly shaken by his confession. (Considering what Bismuth’s modus operandi was and Rose’s secrets, it unnerved Pearl to say the least.)

 

“Well, he can’t exactly go on trial now, since he’d be the judge too.” Razor said, confused. “I say, we kick his tail for all that he’s done!” T-Bone snarled. Callie put her hand on his shoulder-- “Chance, calm down.” She turned to Commander Feral. “Commander, I would suggest you arrest him, you have the power here. I’ll find a judge who we can be sure isn’t corrupt or a supervillain. The deputy DA, Randall Stein, might be a good pick.”

 

“Well, I’m just glad it’s all over. We’ve got our own problems to deal with here. But it’s been fun to see you guys!” Steven said, as Callie walked over. “Alright, Pearl says you have healing saliva, apparently. Do you think you can fix this?” Callie asked, holding out the Pastmaster’s watch.

 

Steven grasped it, unsure. “I don’t know, Miss Callie, but I can try.” “If it was able to heal cracked gems like Lapis Lazuli, maybe it can extend to mechanical objects too.” Connie reasoned.

 

Steven spit into his hand and began rubbing the saliva over the pocketwatch.  The broken face and internal gears began rearranging and sealing together, with pink energy emitting from it as it became newer than new! “Hey, it worked!”

 

“Alright. Maybe I can figure out how it works.” Callie clutched the mystical object, unsure of how to get it working. Then, she felt something, as though a long-lost relative was calling her to it. Then she realized it. “I know how to use this. This was my ancestor Queen Callista’s! The Pastmaster stole it and used it for his own evil!” Callie said, as the energies suffused her, turning her typical pink suit into a blend of past and future-- it grew into a longcoat, with blue and black accents!

 

“Holy kats!” T-Bone said, shocked at this. Callie then held the pocketwatch up determinedly, and the spinning time vortex that brought them here reappeared once more!

 

“Whoa, go Callie!” Amethyst cheered. “Listen, we’ll clean this mess up. It’s time for you all to return home.” Garnet stated plainly.

 

“Well, it’s been cool working with you guys. Maybe we can visit your dimension some time?” Steven asked.

 

“Sure, little buddy! MegaKat City’s crazy, but you’d adapt well!” T-Bone stated, grinning.

 

“Yeah, but we’ve got a lot of work to do back home. Especially now that our identities have been uncovered, Miss Briggs is gonna be making a lot of changes.” Razor said, as he boarded the TurboKat.

 

Soon, everybody was in their vehicles (with the former Dark Kat tied up and restrained along with the other villains), and the two jets lifted off. “Alright, let’s go home! I’ve got a Scaredy Kat marathon waiting for me.” With that, T-Bone nosed the TurboKat straight into the time vortex, followed by Enforcer-One. The vortex sealed up, leaving the skies quiet once more.

 

The Crystal Gems watched, then looked at each other. “So, should we get started on the cleanup? I think we could take this stuff to the scrapyard, we’d get top dollar for it.” Greg asked.

 

------

 

“Damn stupid villains and their time portals… I swear, Megakat City is cursed.”  Enforcer pilot Sam Jameson grumbled- his chopper had been sucked into that crazy portal the Pastmaster had whipped up, and had been separated from Enforcer-One by a crazy tunnel, and he didn’t know where he was going.

 

“Wait, there’s the end of the tunnel!”

 

He emerged in… Megakat City? It looked like it, but it seemed to be in even worse shape. “What the… is this the future? Where’d all these houses come from?”

 

Suddenly, what looked like giant floating multicolored cubes floated up out of nowhere right into his flight path! “Whoa, what the hell?” Before he could turn around he shredded the cubes with the rotors! Warnings began blaring from the instruments as the rotors jammed! “Aw damn, I’m gonna have to set it down!” Sam said.

 

He landed quickly and, upon, exiting the caught sight of rather… bizarre things. He saw what looked like a floating box of french fries with eyes, a mouth and a beard, a soda cup with a face and yellow hands, a meatball with eyes and a single tooth, and what looked like a kat who had attempted to shave all his fur but given up partway, wearing a tanktop, stretch pants, and a gold chain. They were looking up at the rain of multicolored bits left behind from those cubes, then looked straight at him.

 

“Okay. Fryman, is that a giant cat, or what? I need to get my camera so that restraining order can finally have some uh… tangible evidence.”

 

“Um, hi there. Thanks for shredding those dumbass cubes, they were pissing me off. Now, where in the hell did you come from?”

 

“Oh, crap.”

Notes:

Well, that's that. I FINALLY finished my first-ever fanfic. And I've written a lot more since the last update so you can visibly read an improvement in the storytelling.

I'd like to thank anybody who read this, for having enough patience to wait while my mind and life got distracted and crazy, respectively.

If you re-read everything, you might be able to spot a lot of subtle references to things relating to both shows. See how many you can find.

And the epilogue isn't just more crazyness-- it's based on the fact that Aqua Teen Hunger Force actually did recycle a lot of stuff from SWAT Kats (as the Williams Street tradition dictated). The cityscape seen in every episode, and several props in assorted eps, used SK stuff, The epilogue is specifically based on the ATHF ep "Wisdom Cube", where the titular cube and his cousin were shredded at episode's end by a passing helicopter. Said helicopter was an Enforcer chopper with the Enforcer markings covered up. Made me wonder, which led to this.