Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Damian's head felt like lead when he tried to pick it up off of his pillow. The soft sunlight streaming into the window felt like a bright fluorescent lamp was shining directly in his face. Damian tired to roll to the other side of the bed and instantly regretted it, his stomach rolled violently and his head throbbed.

What the hell happened? he thought as he swallowed, trying to alleviate the dryness of his mouth.

Damian groaned miserably and ran his hand down his face. Something cool slid against his skin in contrast to his warm hand. Damian forced himself to open his eyes and he blinked blearily up at his hand. There was a simple silver band with a line of tiny sapphires going all the way around it.

When the hell did I ever own this ring? Damian thought, closing his eyes and massaging his throbbing temples. He tried to recall last night's events, and where the hell he was .

There was a knock at the door that sounded like a round of bullets being fired into the air.

Damian hissed and smashed his pillow over his ears.

"What?!" he called out, angrily. There was a beeping noise and the door opened to reveal a very handsome Jon Kent.

Then it clicked. It was Jon's 21st. We're in Vegas. This is my hotel room. How the hell did Jon get the key?

"Morning." Jon beamed, setting down the tray full of breakfast food. Damian did his best not to dry heave as soon as the scent of something fried hit his nostrils.

He groaned pathetically and placed his pillow over his head. Jon chuckled and Damian did his best to conceal his emotions.

"Hey, come on. Lets get you hydrated at least." Jon said softly, shaking his arm.

"If I puke on you, it's entirely your fault." Damian groaned, slowly shifting up in his bed to a sitting position. He closed his eyes to dispel the dizziness. When he opened his eyes, the room was dark. Jon, the angel that he is, has closed the curtains to make sure the light doesn't blind him.

"How the hell are you not hungover?" Damian sneered, crossing his arms over his chest. His bare chest . Damian quickly checked under the covers.

Great. So he's not wearing pants at the moment either. Just what the hell happened last night?!

Jon shrugged, his baby blue button down shirt seams straining with the movement. "Kryptonian genes. I metabolize things much faster."

Jon handed him a glass of water and some ibuprofen.

"God I hate you." Damian said as he took the medicine and the water, downing both of them quickly.

"Happy to hear it." Jon smirked.

Even though the sun might be blocked by the curtain, Jon was as radiant as ever. His unruly hair slightly combed back, his single curl in the middle of his forehead always standing out; a button down shirt that was so perfectly fitted to him, azure eyes bright and gleaming, and warmth pouring out of his smile.

He was a freaking Disney Prince.

Damian figured his eyes were probably bloodshot, his hair was tangled and sweaty, and he probably just overall looked like a mess. You know, exactly how you want your crush to see you in the morning. 

"Feel up to eating something?"

"No. I feel like my head is gonna split." Damian groaned again. "Let the meds kick in Mr. I-Metabolize-Things-Fast."

Jon sheepishly laughed and rubbed the back of his head and his knee started to bounce up and down.

Damian wasn't that hungover to not notice the tell tale signs of his best friend's anxiety.

"What's wrong?" Damian asked, facing Jon a little more directly.

"You have to promise not to freak out." Jon said quickly, almost childlike.

Damians heart rate spiked and his breath hitched in his throat.

Oh God. We had sex. Didnt we?! We had drunk sex and now our friendship is going down the drain. I never got the chance to ask him out. I don't even REMEMBER THE SEX!

"I said not to freak out!" Jon cried.

"Im not freaking out!" Damian snapped back, also mentally kicking himself that he was more upset about not remembering the sex rather than their 11 year old friendship probably being ruined.

"Liar! Your heart rate is through the roof!" Jon's cheeks turned a beautiful shade of red.

"Stop monitoring my vitals! Now out with it!" Damian yelled, his head aching with a vengeance.

"I-I. I think... we..."

"Im too hungover for this." Damian moaned, putting his throbbing head in his hands.

"We got married last night." Jon finally says, face as red as a hot stove.

"What?!"

Jon holds up his left hand. He was wearing a ring that matched the one that he was wearing, it just had emeralds instead of sapphires.

Damian's head was spinning.

They're married.

They mutually agreed to get married.

While they were plastered .

It was just Damian's fucking luck that he can't ask Jon out, but getting married to him was no big deal!

"Damian? You okay? You look a little pale." Jon asked quietly.

Damian quickly grabbed the ice bucket and puked his guts out.

Chapter Text

Damian showered when his headache began to subside. He dressed himself in black slacks and a white button down. As he was rolling up his sleeves, the ring on his left hand glinted in the low light of the bathroom. Damian took it off and observed it. The sapphires seemed to be real, but there was nothing etched onto the band. That means they probably saw two matching rings, slurred it maaatchess your eeyyyesss! Theyre so prettyyyyyy! Like your eyesss! (which Damian can faintly recall happening), bought said rings and proceed to get married.

Where was their sober friend?! They’re always supposed to make sure these things don’t happen! Damian massaged his temples. He took a slow breath into his nostrils and out of his mouth.

Now that I think about it who is our sober friend?

Damian unlocked his phone and scrolled through any pictures he may have to jog his memory. His photo gallery turned out to be empty and he could feel himself growing more frustrated.
He turned his attention back onto the sparkling ring that sat in the palm of his hand.

How did Jon know that he was engaged to him? Wasn’t he just as drunk, or does he remember more because of his kryptonian genes? Or was it because, if there was anyone that Jon wanted to get drunk married to, it was him? Could Jon, perhaps, feel the same way that he does?

Damian cut off his train of thought as butterflies swarmed the pits of his stomach.

No.

It was probably just a mistake.

Damian bitterly slipped the ring into his pocket as he grabbed his hotel key and wallet, ready to meet with the others in their entourage to figure out exactly what happened. Before walking out, Damians phone buzzed.
It was his father sending him a picture message.

Odd. Perhaps there’s a case nearby he needs him to solve.

Damian swiped open the message and it was a picture of a credit card statement. A large sum of money was spent on..... engagement rings. He swore under his breath and resisted the urge to bang his head against the wall.

Of all the credit cards in his name he uses the ONLY ONE IN HIS FATHER'S NAME to buy ENGAGEMENT RINGS!

There was another buzz.

Having fun? (;

Oh God.

His father was joking with him.

The fucking Batman was making fun of him.

What a wonderful morning this is turning out to be.

I’m too hungover for this. Damian sends back, heading out to the elevators.

I bet you are

Please tell me you didn’t tell the others.

This is just between me and you, Damian.

Damian let out a sigh of relief as the elevator closed in front of him.

Tell Jon he’s a lucky guy.

Damian’s heart leaped into his throat.

How do you know it’s Jon? It could be a random stripper I met last night. It is Vegas, Father.

I’m the World’s Best Detective.

Damian rolled his eyes as his phone buzzed again.

And your friends were sending me videos of your vows. They were very romantic. Alfred was tearing up.

WHICH FRIENDS?! AND YOU SAID THIS WAS BETWEEN ME AND YOU!

Alfred doesn’t count.

Father. Which friends?

I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough. Make sure to drink plenty of fluids.

Of all the days for Bruce Wayne to develop a sense of humor, why today?!

Damians phone buzzes again as he reaches the last few floors.

He’s taking our last name right? Or Wayne-Kent?

Damian grinned wickedly

I’m taking his last name just to spite you.

The elevator dinged and he walked into the ground floor where he knew the others were waiting.

Chapter Text

Damian quickly looked around the restaurant that Jon said that the rest of the group would be in. A familiar tuft of red hair stood out among the creams and sky blue colors. Damian casually strolled up and took a seat next to Colin. (It was also the seat directly across from Jon, but that was a insignificant bit of information nobody needs to pick up on.)

“Good Morning Damian!” Colin smiles, drinking a fizzy clear substance. He wore dark sunglasses, the lenses were practically blacked out.

“Morning Wilkes, how’s your hangover treating you?” Damian chuckled.

“Like a bitch.”

“Morning Wayne.” a new voice said, pulling up a chair, offering Damian a menu.

Connor Queen.

None other than Oliver Queen and Diana Lances child.

The Green Canary he calls himself.

Damian wouldn't count him so much of a friend than an acquaintance. Someone that he works with on the Titans. But that didn’t matter in this case. Queen was more Jon’s friend.

His other best friend.

The story was that they grew up together, playing and things as children do. But Connor began training and such at different schools to be like his parents when the pair turned 10, allowing for Damian to befriend Jon in the meantime. (The story backs up Queens skill, but he wasn’t as good as Damian himself, in his own humble opinion.) The two still spoke to one another through the years, which is why they remained so close. This is why Damian was facing down another vigilante billionaire brat, with sapphire blue eyes and slicked back blonde hair, from across the table, to his disdain.

He’s Jons best friend! Not Queen!

“Morning Queen.” Damian replied, taking the menu from the younger boys hand.

“Congratulations on your wedding! Wish I remembered it.” Queen drawled, the corners of his pink lips raising into a lazy smirk.

You and me both.

“Speaking of!” Jon piped up suddenly, “You remember much from last night? Cause I don’t.”

“What? Your kryptonian genes didn’t give you a way around alcohol induced amnesia?!” Connor mock gasped at him, placing his hand over his chest.

“Yeah Connor, say ‘Kryptonian Genes’ a little louder. You know, for the whole world to hear.” Jon folded his arms across his chest. His engagement ring gleamed brightly in the light.

Damian quickly thrust his hand in his pocket and slipped his ring on while the two younger boys were bickering.

“Honestly, I remember bits and pieces of the night. Although I think our buddy Colin here remembers everything.” Connor teased, poking at Colins head against the table.

“If I have to use my brain, it’s gonna bust out of my skull and run away.” Colin moaned, but then he perked up. “Although I do remember making out with this blonde girl.”

Damian rolled his eyes, “You would remember that.”

“Don’t blame me, Mr. Billionaire-Playboy-Philanthropist! I don’t have girls throwing themselves at me very often!” Colin chided, but there was no malice in his voice.

“You remember anything birthday boy?” Damian smiled at Jon.

“Is using the nickname ‘hubby’ too soon for them?” Connor whispered to Colin, receiving a kick from both Jon and Damian from under the table.

“Meh. In and out really.” Jon smiled, ignoring Connors yelps of pain

“Well, why don’t you start with what you remember, and then maybe we can fill in some gaps.” Colin suggested.

“Alright. Well I remember us on the rooftop of the hotel, we were eating and pregaming...” Jon started.

Jon had grown up with a few skylines in his life. Watching them from the comforts of his room or when he’s on patrol. But nothing, nothing compared to the bright lights of Vegas. Everything was so bright! There was music flowing from every corner of the city, people laughing and stumbling around, but more importantly, it was his friends laughter that was bouncing around him while Connor made an ass of himself.

“Okay! Okay! I swear they’re perfect now!” Connor laughed as he placed out four shots on the ledge of the roof. He was dressed in an all black suit with his bright blonde hair slicked back.

“Aren’t they supposed to be on fire, Queen?” Damian smirked, taking a shot of tequila, biting into a lemon slice.

Damian was as beauty. He was dressed in oxford shoes, maroon slacks, a white button down, and a maroon blazer over it. His undercut was spiked back, and his suit color complimented his tan skin.

Jon had grown up with Damian in the street lights of Metropolis and Gotham, patrolling the cities to take down monsters and villains, seeing him under the glittering lights of Vegas should be no different.

But it was.

All the brightness of their surroundings reflected themselves in the older boys beautiful emerald eyes. The way they were narrowed, challenging, engaged, ready to take on any activity they had planned. The angles of his face were sharp, growing more into his mother's features than his father's square ones, accentuated in the shimmering lights.

Jon tried not to zero in on Damians tongue dragging itself across his lip as he extracted the lemon slice.

The key word was tried .

“I think I can do that!” Jon chuckled as he aimed his heat vision at the shot glasses. The tops of the four small cups erupted in flames. Connor handed him one of the burning beverages and began to sing happy birthday, Damian and Colin chiming in. Jon tired not to watch Damian sing him happy birthday, the corners of his beautiful, sparkling eyes, crinkling as he laughed.

Again. The key word was tried.

Jon quickly knocked back the drink and felt it burn from his throat down to his stomach, hopefully drowning some of the butterflies making their permanent home there.

Jon looked at Connors smirking face, “It’s called the flaming asshole, I thought you might enjoy that.”

“Fuck you off brand Draco Malfoy.” Jon laughed as he tossed back the empty glass at him.

“Jonathan Samuel Kent cursing, he really is an adult now.” Colin laughed, throwing a arm around his shoulders. Colin wore a simple denim button down with black pants and some combat boots. Jon was forever grateful for his non extra choice in clothes. He could wear his red and white flannel button, the sleeves rolled to his elbows, with khaki pants and brown oxford shoes that Damian had got him for his last birthday, and not feel out of place.

“Ready to go bar hopping, Birthday Boy?” Damian smirked, Jon felt his insides do a flip.

“You ready to drag my drunk ass home in an hour?” he laughed.

“An hour?! You drank a whole keg of beer your freshman year and you weren’t even tipsy!” Connor cried, as the group exited the rooftop.

“That was beer , we took a shot of Bacardi .”

“Not a whole shot!”

“When did you drink a whole keg of beer?” Damian laughed as they reached the elevators.

“He wanted to impress a frat boy.” Connor smirked.

“No!” Jon defended himself quickly.

A little too quickly.

“Connor said, ‘I bet you 20 bucks you can’t drink that whole keg of beer’.”

“Was the handstand necessary?” Colin giggled as Connor showed them a picture.

“I threw in 10 more dollars if he did.” Connor laughed.

“Was it worth it?” Damian chuckled.

“After he sent that picture to my parents? No. ” Jon rolled his eyes.

The boys erupted into laughter as they reached the lobby.

“Yeah. We got to the lobby of the hotel. Who did we meet there?” Colin asked, rubbing at his temples.

“We didn’t meet anyone at the front. Did we?” Connor asked, shoveling eggs into his mouth.

“We met with Maya and Kathy.” Jon answered.

“Where are they? I don't remember much of them.” Damian started, sipping on his morning tea.

“Do you remember much of anything ?” Colin smirked, as Damian gave him the worst side glare he's ever received in his life.

“Only teasing, sheesh Dami.”

“They’re probably just sleeping off their hangovers.” Jon answered.

Damian remembered meeting the girls as they entered the lobby of their hotel. Damians heart sunk into the pits of his stomach. Because of course she had to be there. Perfect little miss Barbie blonde, Kathy Branden, had to be there at Jon’s party. She was wearing a very tight, backless, red cocktail dress, that matched the red of Jon’s shirt.

“Happy Birthday!” Kathy beamed, her sapphire eyes bright, painted crimson lips parted to reveal sparkling white teeth. Her perfect blonde hair fell in neat waves past her shoulders. Jon hunched over a bit so that she could hug him and kissed the air by his ear.

Damian felt his jealousy itch under his skin, making his blood boil and fire drum through his veins. It didn’t matter, soon he would have a drink in his hand and Maya and Colin to himself to complain about Kathy draping herself all over Jon.

Which wasn’t unlike his own 21st birthday.

(That was just getting drunk and complaining about how much he liked Jon, as Maya and Colin told him the next morning. He had no idea what happened after the third round of tequila entered his body.)

Maya stepped forward and gave Jon the same greeting. She wore a pure white dress with a halter top and an asymmetrical skirt, paired with a golden belt and heels. Her dark hair fell in perfect curls above her shoulders.

“Kat and I sent up your present to your room just now, so you’re gonna have to wait until you get back to open it.” Maya smiled, squishing Jons cheeks in one of her hands.

“Or in the morning, when you’re sober enough.” Kathy laughed, causing Maya and Jon to as well.

“When did they become bff’s?” Damian whispered, leaning over to Colin.

“They’re roommates, remember? They both go to Gotham U.”

Perhaps Damian will just have Colin to complain to about Kathy as they both get drunk.

“Ready to have the best birthday of your life?” Kathy smiled excitedly.

“Im not gonna be able to remember the best birthday of my life? That’s a shame.” Jon teased as Kathy playfully whacked his arm.

“Don’t worry, Kathy and I will recap you on what happened in the morning.” Maya smiled as the group walked out into the busy streets.

“Maya and Kathy were both DD, or, the sober squad. They shouldn’t have hangovers to be sleeping off.” Damian said with a frown.

“Kathy’s not picking up her phone, it’s going straight to voicemail.” Connor fretted.

“I can hear them talking. They’re at a shopping center closeby.” Jon reported, using his superhearing.

“I don’t even remember them being with us.” Colin smiled sheepishly.

“Guess those early shots of tequila really did a number on you.” Damian laughed as Colin turned a slight pink.

“You think Kathy and I-?” he started.

“ No .” Jon cut him off quickly, stabbing into his strawberries with a fork.

He’s so quick to defend her. Damian thought as jealousy simmered in his chest.

“Did you ever get to open your present from them?” Damian asked, ignoring his muscles tensening.

“They gawf me awh preseunf?” Jon asked with his mouth full and his eyes wide.

“From what I recall.”

Jon shook his head from side to side and swallowed, “I woke up in your room this morning, and I can’t find my key card. This is actually your shirt, I woke up without mine.” Jon chuckled as his cheeks turned pink.

Damian didn't register anything besides the way Jon looked so adorable blushing. The way his eyes looked down in his lap, the small smile on his soft, plump lips. Damian could swo- wait. Did he say that was his shirt?!

“Explains why it looks painted on .” Connor snorted.

“Brings out your eyes though!” Colin smiled.

“Give it back before you flex and sleeves fall off!” Damian cried.

Jon rolled his eyes, “Sure, Damian. Lemme just strip in the middle of the restaurant to give you your shirt back.”

“Don’t say things like that,” Connor chided, “he would enjoy that.”

Damian’s not gonna lie to himself. He would enjoy that.

“Remember anything else?” Colin asked Jon.

“Here and there, bits and pieces. The only thing im sure of is my memory of the night ends when Kathy ordered The Motorcade for us.”

He remembered that too. The massive drink in a seedy bar that lined beers down the counter in front of them, shots of everclear balanced on top, the tops on fire. Damian’s own memory seemed to go in and out from that moment too. But instead of actual memories, he could remember touches. Stomach aching laughter, and warm breath that fanned across his cheek. A feminine squeak of “Damian!” and arms underneath his armpits. Something soft brushing against his nose. The cool metal of the ring slipping on his finger. Warm lips against his. Damian shot a quick text to Maya.

Where are you?

His phone dinged back almost immediately.

Ooo. Looks like someone is awake! How’s your hangover?

Damian heaved a sigh.

You’re causing my headache to resurface.

Aww poor baby. Get Jon to kiss it better!

Its official. Damian was gonna kill her when she came down. His phone dinged again.

Goodness gracious Dami, I was just JOKING . Sheesh. I could feel your glare through the phone.

Good. Now, where are you.

Kitty Kat and I are kinda busy right now, we’ll see in you in a bit!

Maya. You’re not answering the question. Not to mention, we have plenty more for you when you get down here.

Maya didn’t reply. Damian frowned.

Im putting a tracker in your phone.

Again, no response. That usually always gets a response.

“Everything alright Damian?” Jons voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, Mayas being difficult and she’s not telling me where they are.”

Jon only shrugged.

“They’ll get here when they get here.” Colin added

“Besides it’s my turn, cause I remember what happened after the Motorcade.” Connor grinned excitedly. Damian seriously doubted it, but leaned back in his chair anyways.

Connor was forever grateful that he sobered up a bit before he came to the seedy bar on the outskirts of the city, because after those damn drinks Kathy ordered he was drunk off his ass .

“Good job Connor! You won! You drank more than Damian, Colin, and Jon!” Kathy laughed

“Yeah I did!” he cheered. He gave Kathy and uncoordinated high five.

“Whassss my prizze? Doo I get uh kisssssss?” He slurred violently, leaning forward towards the blonde. She pushed his mouth away with her hand.

“Not from me you don’t.”

“Awwwwww okay.”

From behind Kathy’s head, he could see Damian and Jon laughing and leaning on each other, ready to tip over in a second.

“Y-y-y-you talk funny!” Damian hiccuped as he rested his forehead against Jons.

“I certainly do not talk funny!” Jon giggled, his country accent as thick as it used to be when he lived in Hamilton.

“Why don’t you have Jons funny talk?” Connor asked, swaying dangerously in his seat.

“It comes out when I get mad.” Kathy shrugged, holding her arms out in case he decided to tip over and bust his head. His vision was becoming blurred, but he could hear Damian and Jon calling each other renditions of “You’re pretty.” Over and over again. Until Damian gasped dramatically and squeezed Jons cheeks.

“Less get married!!” he exclaimed as Jon giggled and called him ‘purdy’. “Less get married, Jawn! Wanna get married?!” Damian slurred again as Jon nodded enthusiastically up and down.

“I wanna come! Can I come too!?” Connor slurred, launching himself into Kathys arms so he could rest his head on her shoulder while he talked to them.

“No. No one's getting married.” Kathy grunted as she placed Connor in his seat.

“Whyyyyy nottttt?!” Jon whined.

“Because you're not in your right mind.”

“Jon and I are getting married!” Damian slurred, swaying back and forth, holding Jon in his arms.

“Not tonight you’re not.”

“Yesss we aree!” Damian argued back

“Yeah! I wanna marry Damian!” Jon cried, slurring his words just as badly.

“Of course you do, Jon.” Kathy sighed.

“You’re fucking with us.” Damian growled. “There’s no way that’s true.”

“Now, now loverboy just because you can’t remember it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.” Queen drawled. Damian felt his eye begin to twitch and his headache returning with a vengence.

“Im with Damian, there’s no way you can remember that. You were wasted. We all were!” Jon cried.

“It’s honestly so sweet that you side with your husband on everything. This marriage will last for awhile.” Queen taunted, pulling out his phone. “But I have video evidence as proof.”

Damian snatched his phone out of his hand so quick, Jon didn’t even see it coming. The boys gathered around the phone and found out that what Connor was saying was true. Connor snatched his phone back.

“The last one that’s left if you, Red. Remember anything?” Connor asked Colin.

Colin only laughed, “I was blacked out as soon as we left that roof.”

Damian snorted and playfully shoved Colin, “Lightweight.”

Damian’s phone dinged and he swiped to look at the message.

Hey, just got here. Where are you?

Thank God, I’m really getting tired of getting nowhere trying to retrace our steps.

“The girls are here.” Damian stated, standing up to look around the restaurant. Sighs of relief echo’d around the table and Jon pulled out two more chairs up to the table.

Chapter Text

The boys all solemnly watched the girls sit down.

They looked like a mess.

Dirt was matted in their hair, their dresses were torn in various areas, Kathy was sporting a dark purple blooming bruise on the right side of her jaw.

“What the hell happened to you two?!” Connor cried.

“It’s a long story.” Maya answered.

“I got thrown into a trunk.” Kathy said simultaneously.

“ WHAT?!” Jon and Connor cried at the same time.

“Long story, we can save it for later. But now we presume you want to be told about last night?” Kathy waved her hand as she scanned the menu.

“We left off on Kathy trying to stop Jon and I from getting married. After the Motorcade you ordered for us.” Damian said, finishing his tea.

Maya and Kathy exchanged a look.

“What?”

“Nothing, Maya just owes me a mimosa.” Kathy answered with a grin.

“Did we make out?” Colin blurts.

Maya and Kathy look startled.

“Who made out?!” Maya asked

“M-me and Kathy?” Colin stuttered, his face going as red as his hair.

“When?!” Kathy blinked owlishly.

“A-after the motorcade? I remember a blonde and I just... thought it was you.”

Maya pursed her lips and hid behind a menu.

“Oh, Colin, honey.” Kathy cooed, trying to ease a blow, “I wasn’t the blonde that you made out with.”

“Then who-”

“Who else is blonde at this table Wilkes?” Maya giggled as Kathy whacked her with her menu.

It took a minute, but Colin and Connor looked up at each other and scream.

“NO FUCKING WAY!” Damian cackled.

“Check your phone Connor.” Kathy giggled.

The three other boys practically ran to Connor as he unlocked his phone and played what seemed to be a Snapchat video from Kathy. Kathy was drinking some water while filming Damian and Jon in the background, giggling in each others arms. Her mouth drops and her eyes go wide as she flips the camera over to show Connor straddling Colins lap and passionately making out with him on a barstool. Her caption was IM SCREAMING!!

Damian and Jon couldnt stop laughing as both boys began to gargle out their mouths.

“What do you think you’re doing?! We’re in a five star restaurant you heathens!” Maya hissed.

“I own this place.” Connor said while spitting out the water into an empty water bottle.

Jon had to take off his glasses to wipe the tears from his eyes.

“Holy shit .” He breathed.

“Don’t laugh too hard lover boy , the only way we could fish Connors tongue out of Colins throat was saying that you and Damian are getting married.” Kathy smirked over the top of her mimosa.

“Actually, I think I have the video.” Maya purred, turning her phone around.

“Colin! Connor! Damian and Jon are gonna get married!” Maya called, still recording their makeout session. Both boys pulled away with a wet pop.

(Colin gagged next to Jon.)

“Werrrreeeeee gettin’ married?!” Jon slurred violently, in the video.

“Yeah Jon! You’re getting married!” Kathy beamed excitedly, malice twinkling in her bright blue eyes.

Jon moved his head to Damian, “I! Ammmmmmmmmm gettin’ married!”

Damian gave Jon a dopey grin, “Areeeeee you getting married to meee?”

Kathy shook Damians shoulder, “Yeah! Damian yeah! You and Jon are getting married!”

Damian seemed to work off his stupor and became extremely excited with Kathy, “Im getting marrrried?! To Jon!? Rrrright now?! To Jon?! Jon! Im marrrrrrrrrrrying Jon! Jon werrrrrrrrreeeee getting marrrrrrrrrrrried!”

The camera pans back to Colin and Connor screaming, “we wanna come! We wanna come!”

“God, they act like toddlers.” Maya giggled behind the camera.

“When did they not act like toddlers?” Kathy scoffed.

(The boys shifted their gaze from the phone and gave Kathy a glare, and she gave a wink back.)

“Come on guys! Lets go get Damian and Jon married!” Kathy called, ushering the boys to follow her. Damian was the first to jump out of his barstool, but because he was drunk and uncoordinated, he landed flat on his face.

Kathy was shown rushing over to him. “Damian! Are you okay?!” was heard over Mayas cackles.

There was a snap of a camera phone and four heads snapped towards Kathy.

“Awww look how red they all are!” Kathy cooed, leaning on Mayas shoulder as she showed her the picture.

“Look! Poor Colin matches the color of his hair, awwww.”

“You’re having too much fun with this.” Jon pouted.

“We’re allowed to, Jon. It’s our price of running after you four last night.” Maya grinned, taking a bite of her brunch.

“And as sisters you adopted into your family.” Kathy added.

“Sisters? More like sadists.” Damian sneered. It was the wrong thing to say. Both girls painted lips turned into wide, cheshire cat smiles.

Kathy cocks her head to the side and Damian can swear he sees Jon flinch.

“But... don’t you want to know what happened at your wedding?”

“If you thought before was bad, wait till you see what happens at the chapel.” Maya cackles, turning her phone to show the rest of them.

The video showed Damian and Jon leaning against each other while they giggled and looked at rings. “But don’t you want to get the blue one to match Jonny Boy’s eyes?” Maya offered, pointing the camera to a drunk-off-his ass Damian. Drunk Damian lit up like a christmas tree.

“ Yesssssss! They match hissss eyeeeessss! His eyeeeeeesssss are soooo preeeetyyy!!!!! ” Drunk Damian swooned stepping closer to Maya.

“That’s great Damain, why don’t you tell your husband-to-be about it.”

Drunk Damian latched onto Jon and they nearly toppled over if it wasnt for Kathy holding them up.

“Youuurrreee gonna be my husssssbandddd! Im soooooooooooooo happy!”

Jon only replied by taking Damians face in his hands and grinning, “immmmmm soooooo happy too!”

Damian jumped up and both boys toppled to the floor as he sloppily kissed Jons face.

Kathy looked at the camera, “Should we do something about that?”

“Do you have a crowbar in your clutch? Cause that’s the only way you’re gonna get em off each other.” Maya laughed.

Kathy shrugged as she went through Damians wallet.

“Ooooo, use the black card Kathy!”

“It’s his Dads!”

“Then order two bottles of champagne with the rings.”

Kathy’s bell like laugh ended the video.

“You two weren’t even kissing! It was like Damian was just licking Jons face!” Maya laughed.

“That’s attractive.” Colin snorted and Damian resisted the urge to throw something at him.

“How’d you get them off of each other?” Connor grinned, staring down the two viciously blushing boys.

“I just said: ‘It’s time to get married you two!’ and they jumped up, vows ready.”

“ Speaking of vows....” Maya drawled as she smirked at Kathy.

“Who sent the video to my father?” Damian snarled.

“I skyped your Dads and Kathy took a video.”

“You showed both of our Dads?!”

“And your moms.” Kathy added with a grin.

“How’d you get my mothers contact? Shes an assa-”

“I have my ways, young Robin.” Maya smirked as she pinched Damian's cheek. 

Kathy sushed any further argument as she played the video.

It was a small chapel, something akin to what a hospital might have. But it was clean and pure white. Damian and Jon were in their clothes from before, but Damians jacket was missing and Jon’s tie was gone. The first few buttons from both boys shirt were missing. They were holding each others hands as they dangerously swayed back and forth.

“Now for the vows.” The minister smiled.

Jon goes first.

“Daaaammmian. From when I wasssssss ten. I looked up to you. You meant a lot to be. And you still do! I mean, I looooooovvveeeeee you. And Ive allllllwayyyss loved you. Since I was teeeeeeennnyyy tiny. I thoughttt you allllways hated me so I never trieed to make a move. But you’re sooooooo beauuutiful Bat boy. Annnddddddd nowww yerrr my huzbanddddd.” Jon finished.

Wow, what an eloquent boy we raised. Clarks voice filtered in over the silence. Maya and Kathy barked a laugh. There was a smacking noise that was Lois hitting Clarks arm.

Oh, hush, you. He’s drunk. I’d like to see you piece something heartfelt together if you had the ability to get hammered. Lois laughed

“Joooooonnnnnnnnnn.” Damian laughed. “You make meeeee sooooooo happyyyyyy. And you willl alllllwaayyyysss make me hhaaaapppy. I loveeeee youuuuu. You’re so strrronggg and soooo sweet and youve nEVER EVER left me alone because I was mean to youuuu. I loooooveeeee you, and you have sooooooooo many animalllss! And You’re soooooooo cute when you playyyy with my dogggggg. And you make my tummyyyyyyyy feeel funny when you smile. And I loovvveeee you soooooooooo muchhhhh corn cobb. Sooooooooooo much.”

Poetic. Talia laughed.

I think he did a better job than I did. Bruce laughed, and everyone’s laughter rang out from the phone.

A sobbing Colin came up to the podium and gave the boys their rings Jon clumsily put on Damians ring, and was putting all of his focus into it. His bleary eyes were narrowed into a focus and his tongue was sticking out.

Then came Damians turn, and as always, he easily slipped the ring onto Jons finger and kissed his knuckles.

Jon turned a brilliant shade of ruby and giggled uncontrollably.

Awwwwwwwww! The parents cooed.

“You may kiss the groom.” The minister smiled. Jon grabbed Damian and twirled him into a dip as he kissed him passionately.

Wow, where’d he learn to do that?! Clark laughed, as Lois bragged that it was her side of the family.

“To be honest, I think he had it in him for awhile. You saw how bad the poor boys were pining their heads off.” Kathy whispered.

The parents all hummed in agreement.

Thanks for taking care of our boys, girls. Bruce grinned.

“Oh no, thank you for letting us put them through this.” Maya laughed.

Jon lost his grip on Damian and both boys fell to the floor again as the video ended.

“Well I can never go home again.” Jon grumbled, sinking into his chair.

“And father said my vows were amazing and romantic ! That was just awful! ”

“Well, why don’t you two plan an actual wedding and you can have a sober redo.” Kathy smiled biting into a strawberry.

Damian blushed deeply and shut his mouth with a click.

“D-did you just.... Hit on damian.... For me?” Jon stammered.

“Well someone had to do it, Kent.” Maya snorted.

“Moving on from the love birds, how did the night end? How did we end up back in our rooms?” Connor asked, trying to steal Kathy’s mimosa.

“Easy, we bribed you with the bottles of champagne and led you all the way back to your hotel rooms.” Kathy answered, swatting away Connors hand.

“Ow! Hey! I just wanted a sip!”

“No you don’t! Not after where your mouth has been!”

“You lured us back? Like a carrot on a stick?!” Colin interjected, partly mad and partly amused.

“Okay, but that doesn’t explain how I ended up in Damian’s room without my shirt.” Jon asked.

“Some things you gotta use context clues for, Jon.” Kathy winked, while Maya laughed into her shoulder.

“Wait! Does that mean that we-?!” Damian panicked, his voice reaching a higher than normal octave.

“You two totally did it!” Connor giggled evilly.

Damian and Jon blushed violently, and began to scream out things like “No we didn’t!” “I woke up on the floor!” “We still had pants on!”

Kathy leaned against Maya and watched the chaos errupt.  

“How long do you think they’ll keep bickering like this?” Kathy giggled

“Until they’re old and gray.” Maya answered.

“That was more romantic than their wedding vows. You should have wrote it for them.”

“You think they’d be able to read them?”

“Why didn’t you two try and stop us?!” Damian yelled the green of his eyes more predominant now that his face was flushed scarlet.

“Ive never seen either of you naked and it’s going to stay that way .” Maya laughed.

“Plus as soon as you two got to Damians room Jon tripped over his shoes and knocked himself out on the fall.” Kathy managed between laughs.

“And what did you two do after we were all tucked in?” Colin asked.

“Took out a mob boss.” Maya said casually.

“Okay, you can’t say the sentence ‘took out a mob boss’ and expect the rest of us to react like: oh yeah, sounds like a normal friday night.” Jon scoffed

Kathy sighed and sat up, “something was off about the drinks they were giving out at the bars. They didn’t... taste right.”

“Turns out a lot of the owners were putting benzodiazepine like drugs into the alcohol. Leaving the users feeling more drunk but also causing severe memory loss.” Maya added

“Their main targets were younger girls to traffic away, so when Maya and I would order drinks, they would give us the ‘special’ set. Meaning that you guys were getting drugged up while drinking.”

“So we figured that out pretty fast, figured out who was the head of operations and traffiking, and who the suppliers were, made sure the girls were safe and sound in the polices station, some even going to therapy.”

“Got stuffed in the back of a trunk. ” Kathy pouted.

“Oh, sweetheart, you have got to get over that.”

“You’re only saying that cause you weren’t the one that was stuffed .”

“Okay, okay. Im sorry for leaving you to get stuffed in the evil mobsters car. I’ll kiss your bruises better. Happy?”

“Not until you kiss my bruises better.” Kathy grinned as Maya began to kiss her.

“HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON. TIME OUT.” Jon cried throwing his hands up in a T shape.

“YOU TWO ARE DATING ?!” Colin gasped.

“WHEN THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?!” Damian yelled, gesturing between the two.

“Totally called it.” Connor smirked, stealing Kathy’s mimosa and drinking the rest of it.

“We’ve been dating for four years now. Pretty sure we’ve told you.” Maya rolled her eyes.

“NO YOU DID-” Damian began to yell

“I DID TOO! Four years ago, I invited you, Colin, and Suren over and I told you that I liked Kathy and I was gonna ask her out and you three totally ignored me and started talking about shaving cream or something.”

“Suren smelt really good! It was just overwhelming!” Colin defended himself. Maya shot him a withering glare.

“That exact thing happened to me! Billy, Connor and Jon were all in the same room and I told them that you and I are dating and they just kept playing that freaking gorilla game!”

“You mean Monk-e-Monsters?” Jon scoffed

“Seriously?! You guys could have paused for like a minute .” Kathy snarled.

Damian and Jon mumbled a sorry. But the girls only rolled their eyes.

After the hell that was Breakfast and Brunch, everyone returned to their rooms. Colin and Connor going to get their swim trunks.

“We gotta see more babes than just you two.” Connor winked at Maya and Kathy.

“So you two are gonna try and convince yourself that you’re straight? Okay, have fun.” Kathy grinned and waved to Connor as he flicked her off.

Kathy and Maya leaving for a shower and a nap. Leaving Damian and Jon in an empty elevator all the way to the 30th floor.

Jon could feel the tension thick in the air. He glanced at Damian who was looking down at his shoes, twirling the band in his finger.

Say something to him!  A voice that sounded a lot like Kathy screamed.

What should I say?! He screamed back.

Something! Anything! It wasn’t just one drunken night! You love him!

Jon sighed and glanced down to the ring on his finger, the dark emeralds gleaming in the light, reminding him of the kryptonite color of Damian’s eyes. Always able to make him feel so weak with just a single glance.

And if he doesn’t feel the same way?

You won’t know unless you talk to him! And I really really doubt he doesn’t .

Give me something to talk about then!

Anything Jon! Literally anything! Just talk!

“Can you believe Maya and Kathy are a couple?! I mean, that came out of nowhere!” Jon suddenly blurts, watching Damian slightly jump from the sudden outburst.

Jonathan Kent. You have got to be joking me.

YOU SAID ANYTHING!

I cannot believe im delaying showering with my girlfriend for this.

Wait, Kathy, it’s really you?!

Yes you moron! Or do you just have a Kathy sounding voice zipping around in your conscious?

I mean... sometimes.

I cannot with you.

Shut up, he’s talking!

“Y-yeah!” Damian laughed and gave Jon one of his rare small smiles. He felt his stomach do a handspring into his chest. “I-I am happy for them though. Maya seems to smile more around Kathy. I never noticed until now.”

“Yeah, I can’t believe it flew over my head now that I think about all the times she mentioned Maya.” Jon smiled back.

“Those two are going to be a pain now aren’t they?” Damian laughed, the two of them starting to relax into each other again.

“Oh yeah, every argument with them will be either you didn’t know we were dating for four years or this is the thanks we get for setting you up with the love of your life? ” Jon mimicked in a high pitched voice.

Damians eyes went wide as his head snapped towards Jon. Jon involuntarily held his breath and almost started to take it back, but he stopped himself.

He stopped himself because it was true.

He loved Damian.

Loved him with all of his heart. He couldn’t stop thinking of him even when they spent months apart. He always wanted to around him, making him laugh, cracking stupid jokes with him, talk about life and the future; and desperately wanting to say that wherever his future leads him he hopes that Damian is still in his life, right next to him. He could never love someone as deeply as he loved Damian, and he’s tried . He’s tried so hard . But his heart always brought him back to Damian.

To who it belonged to for years.

Cards on the table Jon. You can do this. No chickening out now. He heard Kathy encourage, but he couldn't absorb her words. His heart was beating too loudly in his ears to hear anything correctly.

“You mean it?” Damian breathed, so soft and uncertain. Traits that Jon has never associated with his partner.

Jon nodded his head rapidly. “I- I love you, Damian. No beer goggles to hide behind this time.”

Damian did nothing besides stare at him with wide eyes.

“A-a-and I mean, sure I can agree with you that we don’t need to get married just yet, you’re still doing your thing at Wayne Enterprises and I’m still in Uni and I just thought that-”

His sentence was cut off by Damians finger to his lips.

“Stop talking.” Damian orders as he takes his face into his hands. He slowly puts his lips on Jon’s. The world seemed to stop a moment, letting the two heros share a kiss that has been put off for years.

The elevator dings, signalling their floor and both boys pull away.

“I love you too, Jon.” Damian whispered, brushing his nose against Jons.

Just then two screaming girls in robes rush into the elevator and uncork bottles of champagne, spraying the two of them.

“CONGRATULATIONS!” Maya and Kathy scream, still hosing them down with the alcohol.

“Alright, enough! Enough! We get it!” Damian spluttered, trying to keep it out of his eyes. Jon just laughed and opened his mouth to drink some of it down.

Damian and Jon left the elevator drenched in champagne. Kathy and Maya laughed and ran into their room.

Damian sighed and pulled on Jons hand.

“Where’re we going?”

“Don’t know if you noticed, Corn Cobb, but we’re drenched in champagne and we need a shower. Your rooms closer. Lets go.”

Jon laughed and blushed at his boyfriends insinuation, “Lead the way, Batboy.”

Damian only turned and smirked at him, making Jons cheeks go hotter than they already were.

Best.

Birthday.

Ever.