Chapter Text
Shoto is rather glad to be paired with Midoriya for today’s rigorous training exercise. There aren’t many people in the class he’s on incredibly friendly terms with- though he’s getting better every day- and those he feels comfortable working one on one with make for a rather short list. Midoriya is one of those three- the other two being Iida and Yaoyorozu- so he considers himself fortunate.
Today, they’re going to be exploring a maze; while this might sound simple to most, even before the actual challenge is explained, Shoto knows that it’ll likely be much more complicated than that. And, true to his expectations, they soon learn that they will enter the maze in pairs and have to overcome several obstacles along the way, and meet checkpoints where they will have to “rescue” dummies. Needless to say, a rather typical class, in some ways.
There have been several mazes set up so that everyone can go at once, because this exercise is supposed to take all afternoon, if not longer. Shoto and Midoriya go to the entrance of their maze, and that is when he first feels a twinge in his lower abdomen, and when he realizes that, today of all days, he forgot to visit the bathroom after lunch.
It’s rare that he forgets something like that, but, from time to time, it isn’t urgent and it slips his mind. Though that was the case today, he finds himself growing nervous now, because, even if it isn’t urgent right now , he’s going to be stuck in this maze for quite some time. Shoto is afraid that it might get to a point where it’s hard to focus, or where his performance starts to slip.
But it’s too late to say something about it now, and even if it weren’t, he wouldn’t want to delay Midoriya getting started just so that he could run to the bathroom. He takes a deep, steadying breath, mentally telling himself that he’s going to be just fine, that he can do this. Heroes don’t have time for breaks when things get intense, and he knows that. Harsher lessons from his childhood come to mind, but he tries to push them aside.
There’s no use thinking of that now, or any other time.
“Alright, I think between the two of us, we can clear this pretty easily,” says Midoriya, as they start off. “I’m expecting some typical obstacles, but even the weirder things they throw at us to catch us off guard shouldn’t be too much trouble!”
He’s right, of course, and they work their way through several obstacles and to a couple of the checkpoints without much difficulty. At first, Shoto can ignore the pressure in his bladder, but, as it grows to a dull throb, it becomes harder to ignore. Hiding his discomfort grows difficult, but he doesn’t want Midoriya to catch on, because he’s not sure if he has any way to explain himself other than telling the truth.
“Do you think we’re getting close?” asks Midoriya, after quite some time.
“I hope so,” he replies, without really realizing that he’s saying it. Immediately, he regrets it.
“That’s not like you,” his friend says, a look of concern crossing his face. “I mean, you just sound kind of off. Is something bothering you?”
“Not at all,” he says quickly. “It’s just been a long day. I’m not trying to rush this, or anything.”
Though Midoriya doesn’t necessarily look convinced, Shoto is at least fortunate enough that he nods and agrees that they should keep going. Each step he takes is vaguely torturous, as his swollen bladder continues to protest for relief. It’s been such a long time since he’s been this desperate, and he knows that losing control isn’t an option, but the more time passes, the more he isn’t sure that he’s going to make it at all. He can’t do anything so obvious as grab himself or stop to cross his legs, no matter how much easier that might make this for him.
His breathing is no longer steady, and he is barely able to do anything without his hands shaking, and he is very lucky that Midoriya has mostly taken the lead now, and is doing just fine without much help from him. He tries not to think about how his grade might be affected by his minimal participation. His problem grows and grows until he is at a point where he can’t take it anymore, and despite wanting to keep going, wanting to pretend that there’s nothing wrong with him, he finds that he can’t move any further, and he comes to a stop.
At first, Midoriya doesn’t notice, and continues moving, and Shoto wishes that he could disappear, that he wouldn’t be there anymore when Midoriya finally turned around to ask him what’s up. But he doesn’t disappear, and when Midoriya does turn around, he seems him nearly doubled over, a hand between his legs and tears welling up in his eyes, such a pathetic sight that he’s sure the other boy must doubt for a moment that it’s really him.
“T...Todoroki?”
“Keep going,” he says, his voice coming out raspy. “Just...just keep going, don’t…”
“Are you okay?” Midoriya asks, as if it isn’t obvious that he isn’t , as if it isn’t obvious exactly what’s going on. “Can I…”
“Please!” he nearly begs, because, more than anything, he doesn’t want anyone to see him, doesn’t want...doesn’t...want…
But it’s too late, and before Midoriya can look away, before either of them can say anything else, Shoto loses what little control he has, and he can feel relief creeping in, mixing with humiliation, almost as quickly as he can feel the crotch of his costume growing wet. He drops his hand reflexively, to avoid it getting much wetter, and stares down in shame, watching the dark patch spread out and down his leg, until finally, a puddle begins to form at his feet, and then his vision grows so blurry that he can’t see that clearly anymore.
“Just...keep going,” he repeats, trying not to let any tears fall. He can’t believe...he can’t believe that he really allowed it to get this far, that he was this stupid , this useless, that...that...he squeezes his eyes shut, and a few tears escape down his cheeks, and he tries hard, as hard as he can, to silence a familiar voice, familiar memories, of similar mistakes in his childhood. Not right now, he doesn’t want to remember that, but it’s hard not to, when he knows that he’s still just as-
“Todoroki!” Midoriya’s voice cuts through his thoughts so sharply that he’s pulled out of his memories, and he looks up at the other boy. Rather than continuing, he steps closer, a concerned look in his eyes. “Are you alright?”
“Clearly not,” Shoto replies with a bitter laugh.
“I mean...I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that’s what was...and you were pushing yourself so hard...well, hey!” He tries to give a bright smile. “You don’t need to worry about it, alright?”
“Why shouldn’t I worry about? There’s no excuse for... that .”
“But it’s not like we had any chance to take a break! We’ve been doing this for a while, and if it were real, we definitely wouldn’t. I’m sure even pros…” He makes a vague gesture, blushing, as if not sure how to phrase it.
Shaking his head, he replies, “I’m not so sure about that. It’s something I should have been able to avoid, and I’ll have to work harder in the future, if I…” He sighs; despite everything, Midoriya’s attempts to calm him down and cheer him up are working, at last a little bit.
He surprises Shoto by reaching a hand out and saying, “Come on, let’s at least get through the rest of this together! Maybe we can figure out a way to cover it up before we ever get out. I mean, water obstacles are so typical, so the fact that we haven’t had one yet almost definitely means that we will, which would make that really easy. Only the teachers and me will know, and you know I’ll never say anything, alright?”
Shoto, not sure what else to do, accepts the hand offered to him, and follows along. It isn’t long before they have to drop hands and get more serious, but the small act of comfort goes a very long way. And, as Midoriya predicted, they do happen upon a water obstacle and they both happen to fall in together, and Midoriya even pretends to struggle for a moment, before laughing, and Shoto cracks a smile, nearly laughing with him.