Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Katie added Keith K., Takashit, Lancelot, Hunk G., Allura A., and Coran S. in a group chat!

(4:20am) Katie: blaze it bitches

(4:20am) Keith K.: Quick question

(4:20am) Katie: shoot

(4:21am) Keith K.: Why

(4:21am) Katie: i am bored keiht

(4:22am) Katie: let me live

Katie has changed their name to Pidge!

(4:25am) Pidge: much better

(4:26am) Takashit: Why is my name Takashit

Pidge has changed Takashit’s name to Adult#1!

(4:27am) Adult#1: This isn't better

(4:28am) Coran S.: Hey! What about me?

Pidge has changed Coran S.’s name to Adultiest Adult!

(4:29am) Adultiest Adult: Well

(4:29am) Adultiest Adult: I suppose

Adult#1 has changed their name to Shrio!

Shrio has changed their name to Shiro!

(4:31am) Pidge: shrio

(4:31am) Keith K.: Shrio

(4:31am) Adultiest Adult: Shrio!

(4:32am) Lancelot: shrio

(4:32am) Shiro: Please stop

(4:32am) Allura A.: Shrio

(4:33am) Hunk G.: shrio

(4:33am) Shiro: Hunk not you too

Pidge has named the group chat Shrio’s fuck ups!

Keith K. has changed their name to Kogayne!

Pidge has changed Kogayne’s name to Kogayne for 1 guy!

(4:36am) Kogayne for 1 guy: This is cyberbullying

(4:37am) Pidge: its tru

(4:37am) Lancelot: im intrigued

(4:38am) Kogayne for 1 guy: Fuvk off

(4:38am) Kogayne for 1 guy: Fuck**

(4:39am) Kogayne for 1 guy: God dammit

(4:39am) Lancelot: fuvk

(4:39am) Pidge: fuvk

(4:39am) Shiro: Fuvk

(4:39am) Hunk G.: Fuvk

(4:39am) Allura A.: Fuvk

(4:39am) Adultiest Adult: Fuvk!

(4:39am) Kogayne for 1 guy: Are you guys done now

(4:40am) Lancelot: wait

(4:41am) Lancelot: fuvk

(4:41am) Lancelot: ok im good

Kogayne for 1 guy has changed their name to fuck off!

Pidge has changed fuckk off’s name to fuvk off!

(4:42am) fuvk off: I hate you all

Shiro has added matt to Shrio’s fuck ups!

(4:43am) matt: exciting

(4:43am) Shiro: Hello Matthew

(4:43am) matt: blocked

(4:44am) Allura A.: Matt!  It's been too long

(4:44am) matt: princess!

(4:44am) Allura A.: Blocked

(4:45am) matt: aw come on princess!

matt has changed Allura A.’s name to Princess!

(4:45am) Princess: reported

(4:46am) matt: D:

(4:47am) Adultiest Adult: Alright children

(4:47am) Adultiest Adult: I believe it is my responsibility to tell you all to go to bed now as it is almost 5am

(4:48am)Pidge: aww come on

(4:48am) matt: kill joy

matt has changed Adultiest Adult’s name to kill joy!

(4:48am) kill joy: Rude

fuvk off has changed kill joy’s name to Weird Uncle!

(4:49am) Weird Uncle: Is this really how you see me Keith

(4:49am) fuvk off: :)

(4:50am) matt: savagery

matt has changed fuvk off’s name to SAVAGE!

(4:50am) SAVAGE: I approve

Lancelot has changed SAVAGE’s name to smol kitten!

(4:51am) smol kitten: ???

(4:51am) smol kitten: why??

(4:52am) Lancelot: lol

smol kitten has changed Lancelot’s name to Fucker!

(4:53am) Fucker: uncalled for

(4:54am) Pidge: will u two stop flirting in the fckn gc?

(4:54am) smol kitten: What

(4:54am) Fucker: wot

(4:54am) Shiro: Seconded

(4:55am) Princess: I second that

(4:55am) Hunk G,: I thirded that

(4:55am) matt: i fourthded that

(4:55am) Weird Uncle: Children I demand you all to go to sleep

(4:56am) Princess: Can't

(4:56am) Shiro: Whys that?

(4:56am) Princess: Cramps

(4:57am) Lancelot: heat up rice and put it on ur tummy and take pain meds

(4:57am) Princess: I have, I'm just waited for it to set in

(4:58am) Hunk G,: Do you want me to some over with some ice cream?

(4:58am) Pidge: i can come over too w/ some chinese

(4:58am) Princess: That's sweet of you Pidge and Hunk, but I'll be fine, and you two have classes tomorrow

(4:59am) Weird Uncle: Which is why everyone should go and get some sleep!

(4:59am) Princess: And besides Hunk, I have ice cream here

(5:00am) Princess: Though I'm too full to have any rn

(5:00am) matt: full of wat

(5:01am) Princess: Tampons

(5:01am) smol kitten: omg same

(5:01am) matt: ew

(5:02am) Fucker: lol

(5:02am) Shiro: Matt

(5:02am) Fucker: wait

(5:02am) Fucker: what?

(5:03am) smol kitten: Nothing

(5:03am) Fucker: literally or..?

(5:03am) Shiro: Lance.

(5:04am) Fucker: i felt the Dad Glare™

(5:04am) Shiro: Good.

(5:04am) smol kitten: I'm going to bed

(5:04am) Shiro: Good night Keith

(5:05am) Princess: Sleep well Keith!

(5:05am) Weird Uncle: Good night!

(5:05am) Hunk G.: Good night!

(5:06am) matt: good night.  I'm bouncing too

(5:06am) Pidge: good night both of u

(5:06am) Fucker: good night?

(5:09am) Fucker: did i say smthn wrong

Hunk G. has changed their name to huuuuuuuuunk!

(5:09am) huuuuuuuuunk: I was the only one without a nickname

(5:10am) Pidge: matt, shiro and i don't have one

huuuuuuuuunk has changed Pidge’s name to Mini Matt!

(5:11am) Mini Matt: honestly offended

(5:11am) matt: lol

huuuuuuuuunk has changed matt’s name to Larger Pidge!

(5:11am) Larger Pidge: wOW

(5:11am) Larger Pidge: OFFENDED

(5:12am) Mini Matt: lol

huuuuuuuuunk has changed Shiro’s name to Dad Friend!

(5:12am) Dad Friend: Well

(5:13am) Dad Friend: I guess

(5:46am) Fucker: is every1 alseep

(5:48am) Dad Friend: I am not

(5:48am) Dad Friend: Unfortunately

(5:48am) Fucker: pm me

Dad Friend >>> Fucker

(5:49am) Dad Friend: You requested me?

(5:50am) Fucker: did i say smthn wrong

(5:50am) Fucker: to keith

(5:50am) Dad Friend: Well

(5:50am) Dad Friend: No

(5:51am) Dad Friend: Not really?

(5:51am) Dad Friend: You didn't do anything on purpose

(5:51am) Fucker: but i did say somthn bad

(5:53am) Dad Friend: Don't beat yourself up about it Lance

(5:54am) Fucker: :(

(5:54am) Dad Friend: Honestly, Keith will get over it

(5:54am) Dad Friend: You didn't know anything you did wrong and he’ll understand

(5:54am) Dad Friend: Plus I'm pretty sure it was Matt not you so

(5:55am) Fucker: hmf

(5:55am) Fucker: fine i guess

(5:56am) Dad Friend: Now go to sleep

(5:56am) Dad Friend: You'll be dead on your feet tomorrow

(5:57am) Fucker: lol true

(5:58am) Fucker: kay gnight shiro

(5:58am) Dad Friend: Good night Lance

Chapter Text

Fucker >>> Shrio’s fuck ups

(10:07am) Fucker: I

(10:07am) Fucker: am bored

(10:10am) smol kitten: So?

(10:10am) Fucker: entertain me!!!

(10:11am) Mini Matt: kinky

(10:11am) Fucker: stop

(10:11am) smol kitten: no

(10:12am) Mini Matt: bummer

huuuuuuuuunk has renamed the group chat ASS!!

(10:13am) Fucker: um?

(10:13am) Fucker: h why?

(10:14am) huuuuuuuuunk: I

(10:14am) huuuuuuuuunk: EAT

(10:14am) huuuuuuuuunk: ASS

(10:14am) Mini Matt: who are you and what have you done with hunk

(10:15am) smol kitten: Whos to say that's not the real Hunk?

(10:15am) huuuuuuuuunk: FUCK YOU FUCKEWRS

(10:15am) smol kitten: Point taken

(10:15am) huuuuuuuuunk: Jjjjjjjksnc;po

(10:16am) huuuuuuuuunk: Ouuayuqwyggqe67882

(10:16am) Fucker: im slightly concerned

(10:16am) smol kitten: Same here

(10:16am) Mini Matt: someone call his phone?

(10:17am) huuuuuuuuunk: Guys I'm sorry Maiiijrjigomooommomoolllsllllslasyqukyasd

(10:17am) Mini Matt: ¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?

(10:17am) Fucker: hunk??

(10:17am) Larger Pidge: I'm right here guys

(10:18am) huuuuuuuuunk: no! i am hunk!

(10:18am) Fucker: confusion?

(10:18am) Larger Pidge: Matt took my phone so I took his

(10:18am) Mini Matt: matt what the fuck

(10:18am) smol kitten: Why?? Did you do that???

(10:18am) huuuuuuuuunk: hunk was textn a girl and he wouldn't tell me who it was so i took his phone

(10:19am) Larger Pidge: I was not texting a girl!

(10:19am) Larger Pidge: Well

(10:19am) Larger Pidge: She is a female but she is my friend!!!

(10:19am) huuuuuuuuunk: o rlly

(10:20am) Larger Pidge: Matt

(10:20am) Larger Pidge: Don't you dare

(10:20am) Mini Matt: i am both curious but fearful

(10:21am) huuuuuuuuunk: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(10:21am) Larger Pidge: Matthew Holt I am warning you right now

(10:21am) Larger Pidge: I have your phone in my possession and I am not afraid to send screenshots of your internet history

(10:21am) Larger Pidge: Among other things

(10:21am) Mini Matt: o snap

(10:21am) huuuuuuuuunk: ( ◔ ʖ̯ ◔ )

(10:22am) Mini Matt: wait hunk send me his internet history i need blackmail on him

(10:22am) huuuuuuuuunk: hUNK

(10:22am) huuuuuuuuunk: DO NOT SEND HER MY INTERNET HISTORY

(10:23am) Larger Pidge: …

(10:23am) huuuuuuuuunk: o lord

(10:24am) Larger Pidge: I would like my phone back Matthew

(10:24am) Mini Matt: WHAT DID U SEE

(10:24am) Larger Pidge: Enough

(10:24am) Mini Matt: I MUST KNOW

(10:25am) Fucker: not even i wanna know

(10:25am) Fucker: if it freaked hunk out then ew

(10:25am) Mini Matt: hunk is a softie i can take it

(10:27am) huuuuuuuuunk: All's right with the world again

(10:27am) smol kitten: What took so long

(10:27am) Larger Pidge: when i took hunks phone i ran out the apartment building

(10:27am) smol kitten: Ah

(10:28am) Fucker: lol

(10:28am) Mini Matt: i demand knowledge

(10:29am) Mini Matt: knowledge or death

(10:31am) smol kitten: You whore

(10:31am) smol kitten: That's the tag line for that one video game right

(10:31am) Mini Matt: ¯\_( ͠° ͟ʖ °͠ )_/¯

(10:32am) smol kitten: ( T ʖ̯ T)

Dad Friend >>> ASS!

(1:57pm) Dad Friend: Jesus Christ

Mini Mat >>> ASS!

(12:00am) Mini Matt: i have a question for the queers in this chat

(12:01am) smol kitten: I'm all ears

(12:01am) Mini Matt: no i need evry1 here

(12:02am) smol kitten: Idk if everyone else is awake tbh

(12:02am) Mini Matt: literally every1 was up until like 5 yesterday???

(12:03am) Large Pidge: i was summoned

(12:03am) Mini Matt: by what

(12:03am) Large Pidge: queers

(12:03am) smol kitten: You're late

(12:04am) smol kitten: Uninvited

(12:05am) Large Pidge: :c

(12:05am) Mini Matt: wheres ur lenny face??

(12:05am) Large Pidge: o rite

(12:06am) Large Pidge: ᕕ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ)ᕗ

(12:06am) smol kitten: There it is

(12:06am) Mini Matt: ok but rlyy where tf is every1?

(12:07am) Weird Uncle: Question Pidge?

(12:07am) Mini Matt:  yer

(12:07am) Weird Uncle: Why do you assume everyone in this chat is LGBTQ+?

(12:08am) Mini Matt: …

(12:08am) Mini Matt: is someone not?

(12:09am) smol kitten: I don't know about everyone else but I'm pretty gay and trans man

(12:09am) Mini Matt: i'm pretty gay n trans too

(12:09am) smol kitten: We a duo

(12:09am) Mini Matt: high fives

(12:09am) Large Pidge: im p bismexual my guys

(12:09am) Large Pidge: and i know shiro, lance, and allura are too

(12:09am) Mini Matt: hunk is ace

(12:10am) smol kitten: Coran are you cishet?

(12:10am) Weird Uncle: Heavens no!!!

(12:10am) Weird Uncle: I am flamboyantly homosexual

(12:10am) Mini Matt: o

(12:10am) smol kitten: Oh shit

(12:11am) smol kitten: Lol

(12:11am) Large Pidge: o fuk really

(12:11am) Weird Uncle: Indeed!

(12:11am) Weird Uncle: Was everyone not aware?

(12:11am) Princess: Whomst™ the fuck is spamming the chat and why

(12:12am) smol kitten: Coran is gay

(12:12am) Princess: I know?

(12:12am) smol kitten: We didn't

(12:12am) Princess: Oh lol really?

(12:12am) Princess: I never told you?

(12:13am) smol kitten: No

(12:13am) Mini Matt: no

(12:13am) Large Pidge: no

(12:13am) Princess: Oh

(12:13am) Princess: Well

(12:13am) Princess: Coran’s gay

(12:14am) Large Pidge: （╯°□°）╯︵ ( ͜。 ͡ʖ ͜。)

Weird Uncle has changed their name to Gay Uncle!

(12:14am) Gay Uncle: :DD

(12:14am) Mini Matt: wonderful that's great, but now that we’ve established everyone in the chat as queer can everyone arrive plz i have a serious question for evry1

(12:14am) Princess: I'm afraid Shiro is asleep already

(12:14am) Mini Matt: explain

(12:15am) Princess: ..?

(12:15am) Princess: He’s sleeping??

(12:15am) Mini Matt: how do u know

(12:16am) Mini Matt: Allura?

(12:18am) Princess: I'd prefer not to disclose

(12:18am) smol kitten: They boned

(12:18am) Princess: Keith!!

(12:19am) MIni Matt: LOL

(12:19am) Large Pidge: D:

(12:19am) Gay Uncle: Oh my!

(12:19am) Gay Uncle: Allura!

(12:19am) Princess: Shiro and I did not sleep together!!!

(12:20am) Mini Matt: then what did happen?~

(12:20am) Princess: Shiro and I watched a movie together at my apartment

(12:20am) Large Pidge: </3

(12:20am) Mini Matt: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(12:21am) Princess: And he is sleeping right now in my GUEST BEDROOM

(12:21am) Princess: And I am in my OWN BEDROOM

(12:21am) Princess: ACROSS THE HALLWAY

(12:21am) Mini Matt: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(12:21am) Princess: >:(

(12:22am) Mini Matt: anyway

(12:22am) Mini Matt: i'm guessing lance adn hunk ar asleep

(12:22am) Gay Uncle: I would hope so!

(12:22am) Mini Matt: ugh

(12:22am) Mini Matt: fine

(12:22am) Mini Matt: i guess ill ask in the morning then

(12:23am) Mini Matt: >:(

(12:23am) Mini Matt: good night everyone

(12:23am) Large Pidge: gnight

(12:23am) Gay Uncle: Good night!

(12:23am) smol kitten: Sleep well

(12:24am) Princess: Sleep tight!

Fucker >>> ASS!

(9:13am) Fucker: wait

(9:13am) Fucker: keith is trans

(9:13am) Fucker: ??

Mini Matt has changed Fucker’s name to Ignorant dumbass!

Chapter Text

Dad Friend >>> Ignorant dumbass

(9:21am) Dad Friend: Lance.

(9:21am) Ignorant dumbass: welp

(9:21am) Dad Friend: Don't you think this is something you and Keith can discuss out of the group chat?

(9:22am) Ignorant dumbass: am i the only one who didn't know??

(9;22am) Dad Friend: You're really asking me?

(9:22am) Ignorant dumbass: i am arent i

(9:22am) Dad Friend: Sigh

(9:22am) Dad Friend: As far as I know, Keith was only out to Pidge, Matt, and me

(9:22am) Dad Friend: But I wouldn't be surprised if the rest knew from instinct or something.  Coran, Allura, and Hunk pick up on those kinds of things.

(9:23am) Ignorant dumbass: oh

(9:24am) Ignorant dumbass: why didnt he come out to the rest of us?

(9:24am) Dad Friend: That's something you should be asking Keith, not me

(9:24am) Dad Friend: Or maybe not at all?

(9:24am) Dad Friend: Seems a bit intrusive and rude?

(9:29am) Dad Friend: … Lance?

(9:32am) Dad Friend: Sigh

(9:32am) Dad Friend: Just think before you say thing stupid

Ignorant asshole >>> smol kitten

(9:41am) Ignorant dumbass: hey keith?

(10: 05am) smol kitten: What

(10:06am) Ignorant dumbass: um

(10:06am) Ignorant dumbass: ur trans

(10:07am) smol kitten: I am

(10:07am) Ignorant dumbass: i didnt know that

(10:08am) smol kitten: I didn't tell you

(10:08am) Ignorant dumbass: can i ask why?

(10:10am) smol kitten: Why is it a big deal to you?

(10:10am) Ignorant dumbass: it's not??

(10:11am) smol kitten: You're acting like it is

(10:11am) Ignorant dumbass: no im not

(10:11am) Ignorant dumbass: am i?

(10:11am) Ignorant dumbass: shit

(10:12am) Ignorant dumbass: sorry

(10:23am) smol kitten: It's fine

Ignorant dumbass >>> huuuuuuuuunk

(10:30am) Ignorant dumbass: ok i think i did a bad

(10:31am) huuuuuuuuunk: If you're talking about the group chat then I'd have to agree

(10:31am) Ignorant dumbass:  i didnt know!!!!!

(10:32am) huuuuuuuuunk:  It's not something he really parades around like Pidge does

(10:32am) Ignorant dumbass: i think hes mad at me

(10:32am) huuuuuuuuunk: Just give him time

(10:32am) huuuuuuuuunk: He probably didn't tell everyone for a long time because he thought we would treat him differently

(10:33am) huuuuuuuuunk: So just don't treat him any differently and he’ll come around

(10:34am) Ignorant dumbass: did u know?

(10:36am) huuuuuuuuunk:  I had my suspicions but he didn't tell me if that's what you're asking

(10:36am) Ignorant dumbass: yea

(10:37am) Ignorant dumbass: ok

(10:37am) Ignorant dumbass: thanks hunk

(10:37am) huuuuuuuuunk: No problemo

(10:38am) Ignorant dumbass: <3

(10:39am) huuuuuuuuunk: <3

Mini Matt >>> ASS!

(1:47am) Mini Matt: announcement

(1:48am) Ignorant dumbass: whats up pidgeotto

(1:50am) Mini Matt: Sent an image

(1:51am) Ignorant dumbass: o lord

(1:51am) huuuuuuuuunk: You text

(1:51am) huuuuuuuuunk: The group chat

(1:52am) huuuuuuuuunk: At nearly 2am

(1:52am) huuuuuuuuunk: To send us

(1:52am) huuuuuuuuunk: A picture

(1:52am) huuuuuuuuunk: Of your fidget spinner

(1:53am) Mini Matt: Sent an image

(1:53am) Mini Matt: it glows in the dark

Ignorant dumbass has changed Mini Matt’s name to pidgetspinner!

(1:53am) huuuuuuuuunk: I'm going to sleep

(1:53am) Ignorant dumbass: night!!

(1:54am) pidgetspinner: good night!

(1:55am) Larger Pidge: well gr8

(1:55am) Larger Pidge: now were uncoordinated

pidgetspinner has changed Larger Pidge’s name to carrot!

(1:55am) carrot: this is bullying

(1:56am) Dad Friend: I want a new name too

pidgetspinner has changed Dad Friend’s name to skunk!

(1:56am) skunk: ??

(1:57am) pidgetspinner: ur hair

(1:57am) skunk: Okay rude

(1:58am) smol kitten: Lol

(1:58am) Ignorant dumbass: he speaks

(1:58am) smol kitten: Why don't Lance and I get new names?

(1:59am) pidgetspinner: yall dont deserve em

(2:00am) smol kitten: Y’all

(2:00am) pidgetspinner: says the texan

pidgetspinner has changed smol kitten’s name to texas

texas has renamed the group chat Make fun of your friends!

Ignorant dumbass has renamed the group chat dumpster fire!

(2:02am) texas: Accurate

(2:02am) Ignorant dumbass: :3

(2:03am) texas: Blocked

(2:03am) Ignorant dumbass: :’(

(2:04am) skunk: Keith

(2:04am) skunk: Have you fed Snorlax

(2:04am) texas: Yes I fed your lard of fat Shiro

(2:04am) pidgetspinner: whos snorlax?

(2:05am) texas: Shiro adopted a cat

(2:05am) skunk: And he is beautiful and worthy of love

(2:05am) texas: He's hella fat

(2:06am) Ignorant dumbass: hella

(2:06am) pidgetspinner: hella

(2:06am) skunk: Hella

(2:06am) texas: Don't patronize me

Ignorant dumbass has changed their name to hella!

(2:07am) Princess: I swear to gof with all this spam

(2:07am) Princess: God**

(2:08am) Princess: Shit

(2:08am) carrot: swear to gof

(2:08am) texas: Gof

(2:08am) hella: gof

(2:09am) skunk: Gof

(2:09am) Gay Uncle: Gof!

(2:10am) hella: he speaks

(2:10am) pidgetspinner: wheres hunk

(2:10am) hella: asleep

(2:11am) pidgetspinner: god dammit

(2:11am) hella: why

(2:11am) pidgetspinner:  my question for the queers

(2:11am) hella: u want me to get him up

(2:11am) pidgetspinner: if u can?

(2:16am) huuuuuuuuunk: Who is responsible for Lance screaming like a banshee at 2am for me to check the group chat

(2:16am) Gay Uncle: That would to Pidge!

(2:17am) huuuuuuuuunk: Explain yourself

(2:17am) pidgetspinner: its important

(2:17am) huuuuuuuuunk: It better be

(2:17am) pidgetspinner: roll call

(2:17am) pidgetspinner: pidge

(2:17am) huuuuuuuuunk: Hunk

(2:18am) hella: Lance!

(2:18am) skunk: Shiro

(2:18am) Gay Uncle: Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe!

(2:18am) carrot: matt

(2:18am) texas: Keith

(2:18am) Princess: Allura

(2:19am) pidgetspinner: thank fuck evryones here

(2:19am) skunk: What was your question Pidge?

(2:19am) pidgetspinner: ok so everyone in this gc is some sort of queer yes?

(2:20am) carrot: yeh i think we established that yestersday

(2:20am) pidgetspinner: alright so

(2:20am) pidgetspinner: everyone

(2:20am) pidgetspinner: answer honestly

(2:20am) huuuuuuuuunk: If you don't ask I'm going back to sleep

(2:21am) pidgetspinner: noo!

(2:21am) pidgetspinner: ok so

(2:21am) pidgetspinner: on a scale of 1 to 10

(2:21am) pidgetspinner: how kinky r u

(2:23am) huuuuuuuunk: Good night

(2:23am) pidgetspinner: alright ill get ur answer in the mornin

(2:24am) texas: Solid 5

(2:24am) hella: i spat out my drink

(2:24am) skunk: 1??

(2:25am) carrot: 42

(2:25am) pidgetspinner: i already know abt ur daddy kink matt i don't need a reminder

(2:25am) carrot: I DON'T HAVE A DADDY KINK

(2:25am) hella: then what was that 42 hmmmm?

(2:26am) carrot: u dont wanna know

hella has changed carrot’s name to Daddy Kink!

(2:26am) Daddy Kink: while i'm not changing my name

(2:26am) Daddy Kink: i do not admit to having a daddy kink

(2:27am) pidgetspinner: u dont have to admit it matt

(2:27am) pidgetspinner: we already know

(2:27am) hella: 7

(2:28am) Gay Uncle: 8!

(2:28am) Princess: 3

(2:28am) pidgetspinner: welp

(2:29am) pidgetspinner: thank u all for yer contributations to science

(2:29am) Daddy Kink: contributations

(2:29am) hella: contributations

(2:30am) Princess: Contributations

(2:30am) texas: Contributations

(2:30am) skunk: Contributations

(2:30am) Gay Uncle: Contributations!

(2:31am) pidgetspinner: i?? spelt it right???

(2:31am) skunk: Con trib u ta tions VS Con tri bu tions

(2:32am) pidgetspinner: i hate this fckn family

huuuuuuuuunk >>> dumpster fire

(8:17am) huuuuuuuuunk: Contributations

(8:20am) texas: You're late

(8:21am) huuuuuuuuunk: :(

Chapter Text

Daddy Kink >>> dumpster fire

(7:47am) Daddy Kink: im like 90% sure ther ar cats fuckn outside

(7:47am) pidgetspinner: can confirm

(7:48am) huuuuuuuuuunk: Ew?

(7:49am) Daddy Kink: Sent an image

(7:49am) Daddy Kink: lol its so fat see

(7:50am) texas: What the fuck

(7:50am) pisgetspinner: thier bein so loud i cant sleep

(7:50am) texas: That's Snorlax

(7:51am) Daddy Kink: whomst

(7:51am) texas: Shiro’s cat

(7:51am) texas: Hold on

(7:51am) Daddy Kink: o

(7:51am) Daddy Kink: should i go out n get it??

(7:52am) pidgetspinner: dont interrupt their sex matt

(7:52am) huuuuuuuuunk: I thought Snorlax was a male??

(7:52am) Daddy Kink: well which one is snorlax tho

(7:53am) pidgetspinner: keef said it was “hella fat” i believe

(7:53am) Daddy Kink: so the bottom one

(7:54am) huuuuuuuuunk: Either Snorlax is gay or female

(7:54am) huuuuuuuuunk: How long have they had Snorlax?

(7:54am) pidgetspinner: a week mayb?

(7:54am) huuuuuuuuunk: Wheres Keith

(7:55am) Daddy Kink: probs lookn for snorlax

(7:55am) huuuuuuuuunk: And Shiro?

(7:55am) Daddy Kink: idk work probs

(7:56am) pidgetspinner: shiros at work

(7:57am) Daddy Kink: they stopped

(7:57am) Daddy Kink: but the fat ones rollin around on the ground

(7:57am) Daddy Kink: should i get her?

(7:58am) texas: I can't find Snorlax

(7:58am) texas: Yes get her that might be Snorlax

(7:59am) Daddy Kink: k

(8:06am) pidgetspinner: Sent an image

(8:06am) pidgetspinner: r u sure this is snorlax?

(8:10am) texas: Fuck

(8:10am) texas: Yep that's him

(8:11am) Daddy Kink: hate to be the bearer of bad news

(8:11am) Daddy Kink: but snorlax is def female

(8:11am) texas: UGH

(8:11am) texas: Shiros gonna flip

(8:12am) pidgetspinner: dyou want us to drop her off or can u pick her up

(8:15am) texas: I'll be there to pick her up in a sec

(8:16am) texas: Fuck ok Shiro better pick up his phone soon

(8:16am) pidgetspinner: lol ikr

(8:17am) Daddy Kink: hurry up n get ur cat

skunk >>> dumpster fire

(1:16pm) skunk: What the fuck

(1:17pm) texas: Oh good Shiro you're alive

(1:17pm) texas: I thought for sure retale today would murder you

(1:17pm) skunk: Snorlax is a female

(1:18pm) pidgetspinner: biologically but its impolite to assume snorlaxs pronouns

(1:18pm) texas:Shiro do you want the news now or when you get home

(1:18pm) skunk: Is it good news or bad

(1:19pm) texas: Depends on how you look at it

(1:19pm) skunk: God fucking dammit

(1:20pm) skunk: We’ve had Snorlaz for a week btw

(1:20pm) Daddy Kink: a WEEK

(1:20pm) pidgetspinner: shiro do u even know how to take care of a cat

(1:21pm) skunk: Yes!

(1:21pm) skunk: My girlfriend a few years back had a cat

(1:21pm) skunk: I took care of it all the time

(1:22pm) texas: Cinnamon?

(1:22pm) skunk: Keith don't

(1:22pm) texas: SHIRO YOU KILLED CINNAMON

(1:22pm) Daddy Kink: gasp

(1:22pm) pidgetspinner: SHIRO

(1:23pm) skunk: It was an accident!

(1:23pm) texas: You fed it GRAPES

(1:23pm) skunk: I've learned okay?!

(1:24pm) Daddy Kink: keith plz bring snorlax back im concerned fr her

(1:24pm) texas: Gladly

(1:24pm) skunk: Keith no

(1:24pm) texas: Shiro do you want to be a grandfather?

(1:24pm) skunk: I mean

(1:24pm) skunk: Eventually yeah?

(1:25pm) texas: Snorlax is seven weeks pregnant

(1:26pm) Daddy Kink: o fuk

(1:26pm) pidgetspinner: lol

(1:26pm) Daddy Kink: i revoke my offer to care for snorlax

(1:26pm) Daddy Kink: i dont fuck w/ pregnant things

(1:27pm) pidgetspinner: i want a kitten tho

(1:27pm) Daddy Kink: me too

(1:27pm) Daddy Kink: but it better have a DICK

(1:27pm) pidgetspinner: gross but ok

(1:27pm) pidgetspinner: i dont have a preference

(1:28pm) texas: Shiro?

(1:28pm) Daddy Kink: son he dead

(1:28pm) texas: Not another one

(1:28pm) pidgetspinner: nows not the time for orphan jokes u depressing fuck

(1:29pm) texas: D:

(1:29pm) pidgetspinner: you

(1:29pm) pidgetspinner: u used an emoji

(1:30pm) texas: No

(1:30pm) texas: That doesn't count

(1:30pm) texas: Does it

(1:31pm) Daddy Kink: lance is gona freak

(1:31pm) pidgetspinner: ikr

(1:32pm) pidgetspinner: lance get ur ass in the gc

(1:32pm) pidgetspinner: ur gonna freak

(1:32pm) hella: h why am i gonna freak

(1:32pm) texas: You're not

(1:32pm) texas: Don't listen to Pidge

(1:32pm) hella: for some reason im now inclined to

(1:32pm) pidgetspinner: read up lance

(1:32pm) texas: No don't

(1:33pm) hella: keITH HOLY FUICK

(1:33pm) texas: God dammit

(1:33pm) hella: YOU UZSED AN E MOJI HOLY FIUCK I'M

(1:33pm) hella: SCREENSHOTTING

(1:34pm) hella: FOR BLACKMAIL LATER

(1:34pm) texas: Y'all are assholes

(1:34pm) hella: ok texas

(1:34pm) hella: w/evr u cant deny it now so

(1:34pm) hella: >:3

(1:34pm) texas: Stop

(1:35pm) hella: >:3c

(1:35pm) texas: Disruption of the peace

(1:35pm) hella: nyah~

texas has changed their name to STOP

hella has changed STOP’s name to littel kittan

(1:36pm) littel kittan: Ew

(1:36pm) pidgetspinner: get a fckn room

(1:36pm) littel kittan: Ew x2

(1:37pm) hella: u wound me

(1:37pm) littel kittan: Good

littel kittan >>> hella

(1:37pm) littel kittan: >:)

(1:37pm) hella: OML

(1:37pm) littel kittan: >;)

(1:38pm) hella: i

(1:38pm) hella: can i tell the others

(1:38pm) littel kittan: I will castrate you

(1:38pm) hella: fair

pidgetspinner >>> dumpster fire

(1:38pm) pidgetspinner: ok but where did shiro go?

(1:38pm) pidgetspinner: hes gonna be a papa he has to support his daughter

(1:39pm) Daddy Kink: knowing shiro he probably threw up in a toilet and eloped w/ allura to get away from his responsibilities

(1:39pm) littel kittan: Accurate

(1:40pm) pidgetspinner: he returns

(1:40pm) littel kittan: I was never gone?

(1:40pm) Daddy Kink: sure

(1:40pm) littel kittan: ?

(1:40pm) Daddy Kink: ;)

(1:40pm) littel kittan: I don't need this from someone who sucks toes

(1:41pm) Daddy Kink: IT WAS 1 TIME

(1:41pm) pidgetspinner: bye

(1:41pm) Daddy Kink: 1

(1:41pm) Daddy Kink: TIME

(1:41pm) littel kittan: Once was enough

(1:42pm) hella: :1

(1:42pm) Daddy Kink: D’:

(1:42pm) littel kittan: Whatever

(1:42pm) littel kittan: Shiro can't stay at work forever

(1:43pm) skunk: :/

(1:43pm) littel kittan: SHIRO

(1:43pm) pidgetspinner: lol

Chapter Text

Princess >>> dumpster fire

(7:01pm) Princess: Attention

(7:02pm) hella: uve had mine from day one bb <3

(7:02pm) Princess: Ignoring you

(7:02pm) hella: </3

(7:03pm) Princess: Anyway

(7:03pm) Princess: Roll call

(7:03pm) hella: lance

(7:04pm) skunk: Shiro

(7:04pm) Gay Uncle: Coran!

(7:04pm) pidgetspinner: pidge and matt

(7:04pm) Princess: ?

(7:04pm) huuuuuuuuunk: Hunk

(7:04pm) pidgetspinner: matts phn is dead so he's lookn at mine

(7:04pm) Princess: Ah

(7:05pm) Princess: Anyway

(7:05pm) hella: uh

(7:05pm) hella: wait???

(7:05pm) Princess: What

(7:05pm) hella: keith

(7:05pm) hella: hes not here

(7:06pm) pidgetspinner: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(7:06pm) hella: no

(7:06pm) skunk: Keith's napping

(7:06pm) hella: ah

(7:06pm) hella: ok

(7:07pm) pidgetspinner: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(7:07pm) hella: nO

(7:07pm) Princess: AnYWAY

(7:07pm) Princess: Who would like to come over to my house tomorrow and watch Netflix

(7:07pm) pidgetspinner: matt wants to know what were gonna watch

(7:07pm) huuuuuuuuunnk: THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD

(7:08pm) Princess: Um

(7:08pm) huuuuuuuuunk: ON NETFLIX

(7:08pm) huuuuuuuuunk: IT'S SO GOOD OML

(7:08pm) Princess: Oh

(7:08pm) pidgetspinner: hunk i didnt know that was in your taste?

(7:08pm) huuuuuuuuunk: I mean it wasn't but I watched it with Shay and it's really good

(7:08pm) pidgetspinner: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(7:08pm) huuuuuuuuunk: I deny everything and anything you're about to say Pidge

(7:08pm) Gay Uncle: I for one am very interested in watching this show!

(7:09pm) Princess: Me too

(7:09pm) skunk: Me three

(7:09pm) pidgetspinner: matt and i are 4 n 5

(7:09pm) hella: me 6

(7:10pm) littel kittan: Me seven

(7:10pm) hella: he awakens

(7:10pm) littel kittan: I've been awake?

(7:10pm) skunk: Since when?

(7:10pm) skunk: I checked in your room like five minutes ago?

(7:10pm) littel kittan: Shrugs

(7:11pm) Princess: So everyone's in for a Netflix day tomorrow at my house?

(7:11pm) skunk: Yes

(7:11pm) hella: always ;)

(7:11pm) huuuuuuuuunk: Yes!

(7:11pm) Gay Uncle: Yes x2!

(7:11pm) pidgetspinner: yes x2 also

(7:11pm) littel kittan: Sure

(7:11pm) hella: sure???

(7:12pm) littel kittan: I mean

(7:12pm) littel kittan: I don't have anything else to do

(7:12pm) Princess: Thanks <3

(7:12pm) littel kittan: Not like that

(7:12pm) littel kittan: I'm too gay for that ew

(7:12pm) littel kittan: And you're too taken for that double ew

(7:13pm) hella: taken???

(7:13pm) hella: </3

(7:13pm) Princess: No comment

(7:13pm) hella: ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ)

(7:13pm) Princess: So everyone!!

(7:13pm) Princess: At my house, around 6 tomorrow?

(7:13pm) skunk: Yes

(7:13pm) huuuuuuuuunk: I'll bring snacks!!

(7:13pm) hella: ill eat the snacks on the way there!!

(7:13pm) pidgetspinner: ill personally castrate u if u do!!

(7:13pm) hella:  ur too short to reach me gremlin!!

(7:13pm) Gay Uncle: I'll be there to break up any fights that may break out!!

(7:13pm) littel kittan: I'll be there to take bets!!

(7:13pm) pidgetspinner: matt wants every1 to know hell be there to place bets!!

(7:13pm) Princess: I'm just glad everyone is so enthusiastic to hang out with each other!!

(7:14pm) skunk: Sigh

(7:14pm) pidgetspinner: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)=ε✄

(7:14pm) pidgetspinner: snip snip lance!!

Chapter Text

(8:09am) Daddy Kink: incase u guys mised it,

(8:09am) Daddy Kink: since SOME1 cant stay up past fckn 10

(8:09am) huuuuuuuuunk: This is cyber bullying

(8:09am) Daddy Kink: I HAVE PICSSSSS

(8:10am) Princess: Matthew Holt

(8:10am) Daddy Kink: Sent an Image

(8:10am) Daddy Kink: Sent an Image

(8:10am) Daddy Kink: Sent an Image

(8:10am) Daddy Kink: Sent an Image

(8:10am ) Daddy Kink: Sent an Image

(8:10am) Daddy Kink: Sent an Image

(8:11am) Princess: I hate you forever

(8:11am) skunk: Photoshop

(8:12am) huuuuuuuuunk: Awwwwwwwweee guys you two are so cute!!!!!

(8:12am) littel kittan: Ha

(8:12am) hella: i didnt know shiro was the littl spoon

(8:12am) skunk: I'm not!

(8:13am) Gay Uncle: Those pictures say otherwise Shiro!

(8:13am) littel kittan: HA

(8:13am) huuuuuuuuunk: So that's it?  Shallura is canon??

(8:13am) Daddy Kink: god i fuckn hope so

(8:13am) skunk: Shallura?

(8:13am) Daddy Kink: im so over all the pining

(8:14am) huuuuuuuuunk: IKR!! And yes, Shallura

(8:14am) Princess: ??

(8:14am) huuuuuuuuunk: It's your ship name

(8:14am) Princess: ???

(8:14am) skunk: ?

(8:14am) Daddy Kink: god keith ur brothr is so UNCULTURED

(8:15am) littel kittan: 1st of all, not uncultured

(8:15am) skunk: Thank you Keith

(8:15am) littel kittan: Just old

(8:15am) skunk: KEITH

(8:16am) Daddy Kink: lol truuuuuuue

(8:16am) skunk: I am 26 years old

(8:16am) hella: shiros 6

(8:16am) Daddy Kink: o ya

(8:16am) skunk: I hate you forever Lance Charles McClain

(8:17am) hella: hissSSSSSS

(8:17am) littel kittan: Lance Charles McClain

(8:17am) hella: shut ur fcuk

(8:17am) hella: bo bo the fool

(8:17am) littel kittan: ?

(8:17am) hella: u dont even know ur brothers b day

(8:17am) hella: bet u dont even know anyone elses in this gc

(8:18am) littel kittan: How much is on the table

(8:18am) hella: imputtin in

(8:18am) hella: FIFTEEN DOLLORS

(8:18am) Daddy Kink: 20$ keith doent know my bday

(8:18am) Princess: 30$ says Keith doesn't know mine

(8:19am) Daddy Kink: aight damn binch we aint all rich

(8:19am) littel kittan: Do I get the money if I know everyones?

(8:19am) hella: yep

(8:19am) littel kittan: Alright let’s go

(8:20am) littel kittan: Hunk - January 13

(8:20am) littel kittan: Pidge - April 3

(8:20am) littel kittan: Shiro - February 29

(8:20am) littel kittan: Lance - July 28

(8:20am) littel kittan: Allura - August 17

(8:20am) littel kittan: Matt - October 7

(8:21am) littel kittan: Coran - March 11

(8:22am) Princess: …

(8:22am) skunk: Can everyone confirm this before Lance, Allura, and Matt cry over their loses?

(8:22am) skunk: He got mine correct

(8:22am) littel kittan: (Obviously)

(8:22am) Daddy Kink: pidges and mine r correct but hiow???

(8:22am) Gay Uncle: Mine is also correct!  I'm pleasantly surprised!

(8:23am) huuuuuuuuunk: Mine’s correct!

(8:23am) Princess: …

(8:23am) hella: …

(8:23am) littel kittan: Well?

(8:24am) hella: fuck u

(8:24am) Princess: I'm shocked you know my birthday Keith?

(8:24am) Princess: I never told you?

(8:24am) littel kittan: I have my resources

(8:24am) huuuuuuuuunk: He got Lance’s birthday correct as well btw

(8:25am) littel kittan: (Obviously)

(8:25am) pidgetspinner: how is it so obvios??

(8:25am) Gay Uncle: Good morning Pidge!!

(8:25am) pidgetspinner: good mornin coran!!

(8:25am) littel kittan: I'm really good at guessing birthdays I guess

(8:25am) skunk: “Really good” “I guess” hm okay

(8:26am) huuuuuuuuunk: I am confused??

(8:26am) skunk: Keith is scary good at guessing birthdays

(8:26am) skunk: Like

(8:26am) skunk: Exact dates and everything good

(8:26am) pidgetspinner: i demand answers

(8:27am) littel kittan: What are your questions?

(8:27am) pidgetspinner: how

(8:27am) littel kittan: Idk

(8:27am) pidgetspinner: there has to be a trick

(8:27am) pidgetspinner: a catch

(8:28am) pidgetspinner: a bamboozle

(8:28am) littel kittan: Idk

(8:28am) pidgetspinner: i hate u

(8:28am) littel kittan: It's mutual

(8:28am) skunk: In other news

(8:28am) skunk: Snorlax is now eight weeks pregnant

(8:28am) Princess: How many kittens is she having?

(8:29am) skunk: Vet has confirmed ten

(8:29am) Princess: TEN?

(8:30am) littel kittan: TEN.

(8:30am) hella: i want one

(8:30am) pidgetsinner: ive already claimed 1

(8:30am) Daddy Kink: as have i

(8:30am) huuuuuuuuunk: I am very prepared to be a father

(8:31am) Gay Uncle: I wouldn't mind taking one or two off your hands either Shiro!

(8:31am) skunk: Thank you, everyone!  I'm sure all of the kittens will be very happy to be in good homes.

(8:31am) hella: and theyll still b able to have adorable little play dates and it'll b great

(8:31am) littel kittan: That is only seven kittens we’ll still have three Shiro

(8:31am) skunk: We can give them to a shelter or I can ask my coworkers if they would like one?

(8:31am) skunk: And btw Keith I am definitely keeping a kitten so

(8:31am) littel kittan: Can you even afford that?

(8:32am) skunk: A grandfathers love knows no bounds

(8:32am) Princess: You seemed to warm up to the idea of kittens quite quickly Shiro

(8:32am) skunk: Well I didn't really have a choice but more cats is always AWESOME

(8:32am) skunk: You know, cants, in general, are amazing

littel kittan has changed skunk’s name to Furry!

(8:33am) Furry: Inaccurate

Furry has changed their name to Cat Lover!

(8:33am) pidgetspinner: is that

(8:33am) pidgetspinner: better??

(8:33am) pidgetspinner: in your eyes?

(8:34am) Cat Lover: Hmmm good point.

(8:34am) litten kittan: Shiro have you gotten out of bed yet?

(8:34am) Cat Lover: You see, what happened was,

(8:35am) litten kittan: You are going to be late for work

(8:35am) Cat Lover: Fuck

(8:35am) pidgetspinner: he say fuck

(8:36am) Princess: Let him say fuck

(8:36am) hella: he says fuck

(8:36am) Daddy Kink: o fukc

hella has changed Cat Lover’s name to fuck!

(8:37am) huuuuuuuuunk: Language children!

(8:37am) Gay Uncle: Fuck!

(8:37am) huuuuuuuuunk: …

(8:37am) Gay Uncle: Ah, my apologies Hunk!

(8:37am) hella: sorry hunk :(

(8:38am) huuuuuuuuunk: It's fine :)

(8:38am) hella: :)

(8:29am) Gay Uncle: :)

pidgetspinner >>> dumpster fire

(2:09pm) pidgetspinner: ok but are we gonna ignore the fact that shiro and allura were literally spooning last night bcs i want to circle back to that

(2:14pm) Princess: Or we could not

(2:15pm) littel kittan: Idk I feel like an explanation is due for that horrifically fluffy scene we were forced to witness

(2:16pm) huuuuuuuuunk: Awe! But it's so cute!

(2:16pm) huuuuuuuuunk: You guys make such a cute couple!

(2:17pm) fuck: We’re not dating!

(2:17pm) littel kittan: Oh okay sure beans Shiro

(2:17pm) littel kittan: Sure

(2:17pm) littel kittan: BEANS

(2:18pm) fuck: I have no idea why anyone would think such impure things would take place between Allura and I

(2:18pm) Daddy Kink: hmmm

(2:18pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:18pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:18pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:18pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:18pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:18pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:18pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink: Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:19pm) Daddy Kink:  Sent an Image

(2:20pm) Daddy Kink: I WONDER WHY WE COULDVE THOUGHT THAT

(2:20pm) fuck: That's

(2:20pm) fuck: Exsessive

(2:20pm) Daddy Kink: it is necessary evidence for proving you r in love w allura

(2:21pm) littel kittan: And lets not forget

(2:21pm) littel kittan:  Sent an Image

(2:21pm) littel kittan:  Sent an Image

(2:21pm) littel kittan:  Sent an Image

(2:21pm) littel kittan:  Sent an Image

(2:21pm) littel kittan:  Sent an Image

(2:21pm) littel kittan:  Sent an Image

(2:21pm) littel kittan:  Sent an Image

(2:21pm) littel kittan:  Sent an Image

(2:22pm) littel kittan:  Sent an Image

(2:22pm) littel kittan:  Sent an Image

(2:22pm) littel kittan:  Sent an Image

(2:22pm) littel kittan:  Sent an Image

(2:22pm) littel kittan:  Sent an Image

(2:22pm) littel kittan:  Sent an Image

(2:22pm) pidgetspinner: i have some to

(2:22pm) pidgetspinner: but it would be spam at this point

(2:23pm) pidgetspinner: also i think we have enough evidence

(2:23pm) fuck: Photoshopped

(2:23pm) Princess: Agreed

(2:23pm) fuck: All of it

(2:23pm) Princess: All of it

(2:23pm) pidgetspinner: im so done

(2:24pm) Daddy Kink: i h8 u

(2:24pm) littel kittan: Oh my god

(2:24pm) fuck: You're one to speak, aren't you Keith?

(2:24pm) littel kittan: I have no idea what you might be referring to

(2:24pm) Princess: That's a lie

(2:24pm) littel kittan: Would you look at the time, I need to go feed Snorlax

(2:24pm) Daddy Kink: dont even get me started on how much those 2 pine fckn hell

(2:25pm) pidgetspinner: oh my GAWD

(2:25pm) littel kittan: Welp laters my friends

(2:25pm) fuck: You can't run from your feelings forever Keith

(2:25pm) littel kittan: Hmmm watch me

(2:26pm) pidgetspinner: screenshotting for future blackmail

(2:26pm) Daddy Kink: same

(2:26pm) fuck: Sigh

(2:26pm) Princess: Kids, ammi right?

(2:26pm) pidgetspinner: harassment

Chapter Text

pidgetspinner >>> littel kittan

(6:01pm) pidgetspinner: keith

(6:04pm) littel kittan: Pidge

(6:05pm) pidgetspinner: can i come over

(6:05pm) pidgetspinner: just to like

(6:05pm) pidgetspinner: hang out?

(6:05pm) littel kittan: Yeah of course

(6:06pm) littel kittan: Bad day?

(6:07pm) pidgetspinner: yea

(6:07pm) littel kittan: Code blue?

(6:08pm) pidgetspinner: yea

(6:08pm) littel kittan: X files and peanut butter are ready

(6:08pm) pidgetspinner: be over in 5

hella >>> dumpster fire

hella has changed their name to ballin!

(7:57pm) ballin: i am

(7:57pm) ballin: so ballin

(7:57pm) ballin: i just ordered

(7:58pm) ballin: a full meal

(7:58pm) ballin: @ waffle house

(7:58pm) ballin: i could go to a strip club

(7:58pm) ballin: and be everyones daddy

ballin has changed their name to daddy!

(7:59pm) daddy: i am the daddy

daddy >>> dumpster fire

(8:41pm) daddy: alright it's been like an hour and i havent gotten ANY ATTENTION AS OF YET

(8:42pm) Daddy Kink: alright well some1s gonna have to change

(8:43pm) huuuuuuuunk: I gagged

(8:43pm) daddy: hmmm

daddy has changed Daddy Kink’s name to bottom!

daddy has changed their name to top!

(8:45pm) bottom: this is inaccurate and offensive

bottom has changed their name to vers!

(8:46pm) huuuuuuuunk: I am Hurling™

(8:47pm) fuck: Please… Children…..

(8:47pm) top: sorry father

(8:47pm) vers: sorry dad

(8:48pm) Gay Uncle: I'm very happy for you two’s relationship Lance and Matt!

(8:48pm) Gay Uncle: Although I must say I am quite shocked!

(8:48pm) top: of course

(8:48pm) vers: Ha Ha Yeah!  Relationship!

(8:48pm) fuck: Matt, Lance.

(8:49pm) top: the Glare™

(8:49pm) vers: shiro, r u saying u dont support lance and mines flowering relationship?

(8:49pm) vers: im hurt

(8:49pm) huuuuuuuuunk: Oh my freakin god

(8:50pm) top: he cant even curse i'm

(8:50pm) huuuuuuuuunk: I hate you both so much

(8:50pm) top: come say that to my face

(8:50pm) fuck: Where is Allura?

(8:51pm) Gay Uncle: She's still working at the pet shop actually!

(8:51pm) Gay Uncle: She's working overtime.

(8:51pm) fuck: Sigh.

(8:52pm) vers: :3

(8:52pm) fuck: Please Don't

(8:52pm) vers: :3c

(8:52pm) fuck: Why

(8:52pm) vers: >:3c

(8:52pm) fuck: You are

(8:52pm) fuck: A living meme

(8:53pm) fuck: And I hate it

(8:54pm) vers: ︵‿︵(´ ͡༎ຶ  ͜ʖ ͡༎ຶ `)︵‿︵

(8:54pm) top: shiro why r u so negative all the time??

(8:55pm) top: i know you like memes but you just hate the spicey ones

(8:55pm) top: hwhy is that

(8:55pm) fuck: I'm not going to validate that statement with an answer

(8:55pm) vers: u r no fun shiro

(8:56pm) fuck: Somehow that doesn't really bother me all that much

(8:56pm) vers: i have like countless vids of u drunk & quoting vines do we rlly want to fookin fight

(8:56pm) fuck: Ah.  Would you look at that.  My adult life. Is calling me.  I must go make some spaghetti.

(8:56pm) vers: You Are Weak

(8:57pm) top: yo where the fuck is pidge and keeith

(8:57pm) top: they usually love exposing shiro

(8:57pm) vers: pidge went over to hang out w keith a while ago

(8:57pm) vers: i think she's gonna stay over the night

(8:58pm) top: OoOOo

(8:58pm) top: man they're havin a sleep over and didn't invite us

(8:58pm) top: :’(

(8:59pm) vers: shrugs

pidgetspinner >>> dumpster fire

pidgetspinner has changed their name to Dead Sea!

(5:07am) Dead Sea: Hey guys this is Keith I just needed to change that disgusting username

(5:07am) Dead Sea: You know what, while I'm at it

Dead Sea has changed vers’s name to BiAndWantsToDie!

Dead Sea has changed huuuuuuuuunk’s name to Big, Brown And Beautiful!

Dead Sea has changed top’s name to String Bean!

Dead Sea has changed Gay Uncle’s name to Lookin’LikeAQuizSNACK!

Dead Sea has changed fuck’s name to ProudFatherOfFourFailures!

Dead Sea has changed Princess’s name to i ran out of ideas and i'm tired!

(5:32am) Dead Sea: Alright good night you heathens

Big, Brown, And Beautiful >>> dumpster fire

(7:16am) Big, Brown And Beautiful: Awwweeee, Keith!!!!

(7:16am) Big, Brown And Beautiful: I'm gonna freaking bear hug you when I see you

(7:17am) String Bean: speak for yoUR SELFFFF

(7:18am) String Bean: keith imma beat yo ass

i ran out of ideas and i'm tired has changed their name to Bi and Beautiful!

Bi and Beautiful has changed Lookin’LikeAQuizSNACK’s name to 17 or 70??!

(7:20am) String Bean: i'm not sure i understand

(7:20am) Bi and Beautiful: Coran..

(7:20am) Bi and Beautiful: How old is is he???

(7:21am) String Bean: valid

(7:22am) ProudFatherOfFourFailures: This is inaccurate

(7:22am) ProudFatherOfFourFailures: I am not proud

ProudFatherOfFourFailures has changed their name to ShiroGONE, eh??!

(7:22am) Big, Brown And Beautiful: ?

(7:23am) ShiroGone, eh??: It's Canadian

(7:23am) String Bean: Oh My Fucking God

littel kittan >>> dumpster fire

(9:11am) littel kittan: Shiro wants me to inform the group chat that we are at the vet because Snorlax is currently giving birth

(9:11am) littel kittan: And also say how many kittens yall want because she's having fucKING 10 so ple as e

(9:12am) littel kittan: Save a gay from cats

(9:13am) Big, Brown And Beautiful: Holy crap Keith!!

(9:13am) Big, Brown And Beautiful: That's so exciting!!!

(9:14am) String Bean: i want 1 kittan

(9:14am) Big, Brown And Beautiful: Yes!! I would like 1 as well

(9:14am) Dead Sea: i would liek 1

(9:14am) Dead Sea: and matt does too so that's 2 fer us

(9:15am) Bi and Beautiful: I WANT A KITTEN PLEASEWEJDWIE

(9:16am) 17 or 70??: I would like a kitten as well please!

(9:18am) littel kittan: That is only 6 out of the 10 being birthed

(9:19am) 17or 70??: Won't Shiro and you keep one each?  That's 8.

(9:19am) littel kittan: Yeah fuck that

(9:19am) String Bean: ???????????

(9:20am) littel kittan: Living in a house with 3 cats??

(9:20am) littel kittan: Hm no thanks

(9:21am) Dead Sea: how are we evn friends?????

(9:21am) littel kittan: We’re not

(9:22am) Bi and Beautiful: You children are supposed to be in lectures

(9:22am) String Bean: ssshhhhhhhhhhh

(9:22am) Bi and Beautiful: Lance if you don't get back to your lecture

(9:22am) String Bena: youll what????

(9:23am) Big, Brown And Beautiful: I'll hide my cookies

(9:23am) String Bean: suddenly i'm very enticed by what this professor is saying

(9:23am) String Bean: bye!!!!!!

(9:23am) Big, Brown And Beautiful: I'm going to start taking notes as well

(9:24am) Big, Brown And Beautiful: I'll check in later!!

(9:24am) Dead Sea: siGH

(9:24am) Bi and Beautiful: :)

ShiroGONE, eh?? >>> dumpster fire

(12:49pm) ShiroGONE, eh??: We have ten new kittens to say hello to the world!!

(12:50pm) littel kittan: Someone send help

(12:51pm) ShiroGONE, eh??: We also have one very tall, rude, angsty, emo kitten, but you guys already knew that!!

(12:53pm) littel kittan: I really do hate you

(1:07pm) ShiroGONE, eh??: <33