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After a particularly strenuous week on the Enterprise, Jim staggered to his quarters and collapsed heavily on his bed. He was astounded that there were no casualties considering all that they had gone through recently.
A few days ago they had fought against a highly intelligent but hostile species and the away team had barely escaped with their lives. Yesterday Bones and Spock had been working hard (while arguing) to find the cure for a deadly disease which had infected more than half of the crew. Then just earlier today Jim had to send a security team to Botany Bay after Sulu was attacked by a plant. A giant, man eating plant.
Honestly, he was glad this week was over - he felt more exhausted than a one legged cat in a sandbox.
But the really annoying thing was that he wasn't mentally tired. He felt physically drained, but his mind was zipping from one thought to the other rapidly. Maybe drinking an entire weeks worth of caffeine in one day was a bad idea, he thought regretfully.
He knew without even trying that he wouldn't be able to get to sleep, so he grabbed his PADD from the bedside table and looked for something to keep his mind occupied while he relaxed his tired muscles.
He found an old animated TV show downloaded on the device that he remembered being fond of in his teenage years. Smiling lazily, he clicked on a random episode and ended up lying there all night and through the morning, laughing hard at the silly antics of Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman.
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Despite feeling completely drained by the time Jim's shift came around, he had no regrets on watching South Park all night long. He had forgotten just how funny it was after not seeing it for so long.
That didn't stop him yawning every five minutes though.
Spock, seeming to notice the Captain's unusually high level of exhaustion, walked over to him. He stopped at the side of the Captain's chair, peering at Jim for a moment warily.
"Captain, I cannot help but notice you seem to be very distracted this morning. The fact that you are also yawning frequently leads me to the conclusion that you did not get the recommended 8 hours of sleep humans are required to-"
Jim groaned, interrupting Spock.
"Look, Spock, I appreciate that you voiced your concerns but I'm fine."
Spock cocked his head slightly and stared pointedly at his Captain, who was trying hard to stifle yet another yawn.
"...Okay I might be a tiny bit tired, but after a few more coffees I'll be fine," Jim smiled disarmingly at his first officer, hoping that he will just leave it.
But Spock wasn't giving up. The half Vulcan slowly walked around the front of the chair to look Jim straight in the eyes.
"You drank an obscene amount of caffeine yesterday and I do not recommend you engage in this unhealthy behaviour again today. If you do not return to your quarters and get some sleep I will be forced to send you to the med bay. I am sure that Doctor McCoy will have a lot to say about your behaviour." Spock added the last sentence with a raised eyebrow, daring the Captain to challenge him.
Jim rolled his eyes and pouted like a child.
"There's nothing wrong with me Spock." He said slowly, emphasising each word and leaning forwards on his chair.
"I'm cereal."
Spock frowned in confusion while Jim breathed a laugh at his own slip-up. He really did watch a lot of South Park last night.
"Cereal? I think you mean "serious", Captain. I will contact Doctor McCoy immediately, you are obviously in no fit state to-"
"I'm thuuper duuper cereal, Spock."
Jim started to laugh loudly at Spock's slightly concerned expression. He's obviously never heard of Manbearpig.
Unlike his first officer though, Sulu obviously knew exactly which TV show Jim was quoting. He spun around in his chair at the helm with a grin and shouted in a high pitched voice:
"No kitty this is my pot pie!"
Jim cheered at his pilot and yelled back "TIMMY!"
Chekov decided to join in and said in his best American accent, "oh my God, zey killed Kenny!"
"You bastards!" Jim, Sulu and a passing Ensign shouted at once.
Spock looked to Uhura pleadingly in the hope that she would find them as illogical as he did. He was very surprised when she grinned and shouted something about "tree fiddy" instead.
Another passing Ensign quipped, "remember when they sent that whale to the moon?"
Everyone laughed and talked over each other in excitement, throwing random quotes to anyone who would listen.
Spock looked around the bridge, wondering how his enquiry into the Captain's health had escalated into this chaos. He moved back to his station and summoned Doctor McCoy to the bridge in the hope that he would calm things down.
After what seemed like ages listening to the bridge crew singing an offensive song about Kyle's mother, Spock saw the bridge door swish open to reveal a grumpy looking CMO.
"The hell is going on, hobgoblin?" Bones growled at Spock as he drew up close to him.
The half Vulcan let the insult slip this time and quickly filled him in about what was happening. Everyone had turned to watch them, waiting to see what Bones would do. They all hoped he had left his hypos back in med bay.
Once Spock had finished asking McCoy if there was a possibility that the bridge crew may have all contracted an illness, Bones smirked at him and asked Spock if he could ask him something first.
"Certainly, Doctor." Spock clasped his hands behind his back, preparing himself for the question.
"Do ya like fish sticks?"