Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

12 months before Mickey walks out of Juvie for the second time…

“Should we really be shooting teddy bears while we’re wasted Mickey?” Ian staggered into the wall after his turn while Mickey was reloading the gun. They’d been taking turns in the near dark, an old barrel filled with pieces of wood burning away from what they’d found scattered about their only source of light.

It was only the second time Mickey had taken Ian up to the top floor of the abandoned buildings to target shoot. They had more privacy up there than the baseball field and there was no chance anyone would see what they were getting up to except for the odd homeless person here and there but the sound of gun fire kept most of them away.

Mickey fired off another round going absolutely nowhere near his target but managing to put a few more holes in the concrete wall. After putting the safety back on even though the gun was now empty, he placed it on the ground near his feet and picked up his bottle taking another swig of whiskey instead. Mickey walked the few feet to where Ian was leaning, checking him out from head to foot taking in the lithe body before him, not that wasted that he couldn’t get it up one more time.

Ian was contemplating laying across the dirty sofa they’d carried up with them earlier. It was uncomfortable as fuck they’d found out a few hours ago but it did the job when he’d bent Mickey over it not too long ago and it would probably be a hell of a lot more comfortable than laying on the concrete floor.

“Ummm, fuck…” Fell from Ian’s lips when he felt Mickey palming his cock through his jeans. He was so in his own world that he hadn’t heard Mickey’s approach, but he was so close to him now, just short of any touch other than Mickey’s hand but close enough that Ian could feel Mickey’s alcohol laced breath on his face.

Just because they’d fucked not long ago as well as at work that afternoon, it didn’t stop Mickey wanting more. He always wanted more when it came to Ian but this time he wanted something else. Something he knew no one else had ever had and why the fuck not? Mickey may have experimented with his own fingers and that one dildo he’d bought which he’d thrown out after only one use, it was too dangerous to leave in a house with no boundaries but his first time he’d given to an unknowing Ian and now he wanted the same in return.

Full of alcohol induced courage, Mickey eyes leered into Ian’s lasciviously as he spoke, “I wanna fuck you.”

Ian snorted, a light giggle leaving his mouth he was so excited, but he didn’t realise it was for the wrong reason. “We haven’t tried that yet Mick. Can’t wait to see you riding my cock, mmm…” By the time Ian had finished speaking Mickey had his jeans open and was stroking Ian’s leaking cock.

It was one thing to ask Ian to bang but Mickey had never asked for a specific position and now that he had, and been misunderstood he felt his cheeks blush and had to avert his eyes. He leaned in close enough, so their bodies were now touching and whispered what he wanted in Ian’s ear. “My turn to fuck you.” Mickey turned away from Ian when he heard him gasp and led him by his cock the short distance to the sofa leaving Ian no option but to follow.

When they got there Mickey didn’t waste time toeing off his shoes and kicking off his jeans and boxers. Once he was naked from the waist down he saw Ian was undressing slowly but he looked a little pale. Mickey was getting impatient, so he helped Ian get his clothes off before turning him and giving him a slight shove getting him into position, knees on the sofa and his upper body leaning on the back.

Ian may have always gone with the flow when it came to Mickey, but he enjoyed being the one in control when it came to sex. However, the way Mickey took control, his more dominating personality mixed with sex was turning Ian on no end. He was still nervous as fuck. Ian had never bottomed in his life and honestly had no interest, but he never said no to Mickey when he wanted him. Ian craved Mickey’s touch, what little he got when they fucked never enough but when he felt Mickey’s hands caressing his ass, touching him more than he’d ever done before his body automatically leaned back into him.

Normally Mickey didn’t give a shit when he fucked girls, just went with it like did an everyday chore discarding them when he was done, not caring if they got off or not but this was Ian. Mickey poured some lube onto his fingers taking a second to check on Ian before going further. “You good firecrotch?”

Ian may have been jumpy, he definitely felt like a virgin again which he was in a way, but he hummed in response not trusting himself to speak because he did want to try it at least once and he rather it be with Mickey. When he felt lube being rubbed around his entrance Ian froze. When he felt Mickey pushing one finger inside him he felt himself tighten resisting it’s entrance. Slowly Mickey’s finger made it past muscle and began sliding in and out of him slowly.

Mickey stood behind Ian fascinated by the way one finger and then two made their way into Ian’s body. It was new for him too, so he copied what Ian did to him, widening and crooking his fingers until he heard Ian whimper. Just that noise alone had Mickey pinching the base of his cock to stop himself from coming. By the time he made it to three fingers Mickey knew he wouldn’t be able to last much longer the way Ian was fucking himself on them.

“You good?” Mickey was sure he’d asked Ian that already, but he got a nod in response. He used more lube than he needed then took off his top just in case it blocked his view. Again Mickey had to squeeze the base of his cock while he slowly watched it disappear inside Ian’s hole. “Fuck… so tight.” He panted when he couldn’t go any further, Ian painfully tight around him.  

Ian was sure it was Mickey’s experience being a bottom when from the first movement he felt Mickey’s cock drag across his prostate eliciting broken off moans which Ian couldn’t contain if he tried. Ian had never felt so helpless as Mickey began fucking into him fast and hard, pulling Ian’s hips towards him with each thrust. Mickey was mumbling something behind him, but he couldn’t hear shit over his own moans which seemed impossibly loud. When Ian felt Mickey’s hand wrap around his cock he knew he was done for.

This had to be the quickest fuck of Mickey’s life. He didn’t know how Ian held out so long when he was doing the fucking but after 20 or so deep thrusts Mickey reached for Ian’s cock stroking it only once before it drenched his fist in come. “Fuck!” Mickey growled when the pressure surrounding his cock became nearly unbearable. His legs went weak as his orgasm rippled through him, come shooting deep inside Ian.

It took longer for Mickey to recover and get off Ian’s back where he’d collapsed than it took to fuck him. Still trying to catch his breath Mickey fished a smoke out of his pack lighting it up only to have it snatched from his mouth by Ian. Mickey went to grab it back but felt bad when Ian hobbled out of his reach.

“Someone pound the shit outta ya Gallagher?” Mickey sniggered looking around for the bottle of whiskey. After finding it he wasn’t too sure if drinking more would be a good idea. He was still drunk as fuck and his legs still weren’t fully functional.

“Fuck Mickey!” Ian yelled with a prominent slur. Mickey wasn’t giving him anymore to drink either.

Instantly on the defensive when he saw Ian’s bitch face Mickey snapped, “The fuck are you looking at? Hmmm?”

“There’s come dribbling outta my ass Mickey!” Ian proceeded to do some type of dog impersonation turning in circles trying to look at his own ass, stopping suddenly and luckily landing on the sofa when he was hit by a dizzy spell.

Mickey needed a minute to get his drunken laughter under control after Ian’s performance. “Gimme half an hour and I’ll let you fuck me bare ok princess.” They didn’t often fuck without condoms but when they did Mickey savoured the feel of Ian running down the back of his thighs.

Chapter Text

10 months 2 weeks before Mickey walks out of Juvie for the second time…

Ian knew his body well. He’d spent the last few years working on it, fine tuning it, going to JROTC and all the extra training he did at home. At first Ian thought he may have gotten food poisoning but at home they all ate the same shit and no one else was sick. The only 2 people he actually ate with outside of home were Mickey and Mandy and they hadn’t shown any signs of eating something bad either. Keeping his suspicions to himself, Ian chose a day he didn’t have work and Mickey would be out of town on a run with his brothers and reluctantly dragged his ass to the clinic already certain of what he would find.

Sitting on the L on his way home from the clinic Ian rested his hand on his front jeans pocket feeling the outline of the stick which had changed his life so drastically. All his hard work, study and plans for the future were now up in the air leaving him a span of a few weeks to decide which way his life would now go. The funny thing was, Ian wasn’t freaking the fuck out, but he was giving himself a headache working through his options.

There was no simple answer. Far from it there were quite a few things to consider before Ian made a decision. WestPoint, the army and all his extra study he’d dedicated himself to, so he could have a better future, get out of the southside and have a secure career. Ian didn’t want to end up like his parents and distancing himself from their influence was an added bonus but there were more things to consider than them.

What the fuck would Mickey think or say or do? Ian knew they were equally responsible regardless of how wasted they had been. Neither of them had remembered the lack of condom and it was typical Gallagher luck that one time only was enough. Ian believed, hoped, there was something more between him and Mickey, but he also knew that Mickey would never admit it, not now at least. True they’d developed a ‘friendship’ and Mickey would talk about almost anything except feelings and his home life but that was only when no one was around, but Ian still had his doubts.

Ian’s problem right now was he was a dreamer. At night while laying in bed while sleep alluded him he would romanticize what he and Mickey had. He would forget all the times Mickey would push him away if his hands lingered too long after sex and step back if Ian got to close to him in public. That one time, the first time they’d been together was the only time Ian had tried to kiss Mickey and even though they’d come so far, he had no doubt that Mickey would punch him if he tried it again. Come morning the realist in Ian would return leaving him a love sick delusional dumbass pining for a boy who still fucked girls to cover up the fact that he was gay.

There was also Mickey’s family to consider, particularly his extremely violent, homophobic father. Mandy was Ian’s best friend and his beard and would stand by him even if the world was about to crash and burn or some other crap they made up when they were wasted. Mickey’s brothers did whatever their father told them to do, just like Mickey did but Ian didn’t know enough about them to gage what their reaction would be to a pregnant male in their neighbourhood or how different they may be without their father’s influence. It was Terry though that left Ian petrified of what he was concealing inside his t-shirt. He’d heard the stories his whole life, the exploits of Terry Milkovich and how he terrorised the whole of the southside and still does. Ian had seen the bruises on Mickey when he knew for a fact he hadn’t been in any fights. Mandy occasionally had some of her own but even she would brush off any concern Ian had when he saw them. Ian would bet his last dollar that that man would end him not thinking twice, blood or no blood.

Ian may not have been freaking out, but he totally missed his stop while he thought about his family’s reaction, Fiona’s to be precise. Whatever he decided Ian knew the least to be affected by his choice would be Debbie, Carl and Liam. Hell, Debbie would probably think of a baby as a new toy considering what she’d done the year before. Ian could picture Lip being the sanctimonious asshole he always was. Lip would lecture him, tell him what he should do, how Ian should live his life while his own was spent chasing that whore Karen who was also pregnant but to fuck knows who. The tension slowly building between Lip and Fiona was only getting worse, add to that Grammy Gallagher unexpectedly getting released and coming to live with them. Fiona would definitely be the one to lose her shit when she found out. Demand to know who the father was and drag Ian’s ass back to the clinic to ‘fix’ the problem.

And herein lay Ian’s dilemma. He was stunned yes, but at the same time a weird type of calmness overrode Ian’s emotions since finding out. Yes, his pseudo mother would be pulling her hair out and he would most likely be murdered if Terry found out. There were so many variables to consider but Ian couldn’t do it alone. He knew he’d eventually have to tell Mickey, but Ian also knew the person he could trust more than anyone in his life to give him an honest opinion and keep it to herself was Mandy, his best friend.

The only thing Ian was certain of was that he would never betray Mickey to his father. Never let Terry find out the truth if he does decide to have the baby. Ian wouldn’t force fatherhood on Mickey either or reveal to other’s who his child’s other Dad was, but Mickey still had a right to know.

Chapter Text

10 months 1 week before Mickey walks out of Juvie for the second time…

There was something up with Gallagher, he was acting all quiet which was unusual for him and it was making Mickey nervous and Mickey really fucking hated feeling nervous. Every time Mickey moved about the shop he could feel Ian’s eyes following him like he was expecting him to steal from the place he worked. It was making Mickey paranoid as fuck and he didn’t know whether to just walk out or punch the fucker in the face. A few times Mickey noticed Ian’s mouth attempt to move like it was trying to forms words, the only thing missing was a ventriloquist with his hand shoved up Ian ass helping him to make the actual sounds. Mickey had even asked if everything was ok at home which he’d never done before or given a shit about, there was always drama happening in that kid infested house, but he still only got vague answers and brushed off.

It had been a whole week and Ian still couldn’t bring himself to tell Mickey, not even his best friend and Mandy was beginning to give him a hard time. She always knew when he was trying to hide something. No one else at home had picked up on Ian’s change of mood or how quiet he’d become except for Grammy. That was another new experience for Ian, having an adult in the home who actually spoke to him and acted like she gave a shit. Grammy had mentioned a few times how much Ian reminded her of her ‘successful son’ but he had no idea if she knew the truth. Ian had been enjoying watching Frank run around while being tormented by his mother, but Ian was stopped short a few times when Grammy would look at him a certain way, like she could read his mind but thank fuck that had ended a few days ago when she’d gone to live with Sheila.

Mickey had mentioned something about hooking up after work, there had been too many people in and out the shop today for them to have a fuck break but Ian, for probably the first time had said no. Since Fiona had mentioned that morning that Grammy was dying it was fucking with his head, so he’d decided he would visit her today. Although Ian wasn’t sure it was out of concern since he’d only really known Grammy for a few weeks or an excuse to avoid telling Mickey their life altering news.  

Mickey snapped his fingers repeatedly in front of Ian’s face. He been trying to speak to him, but he appeared to be off in his own world yet again. Now Ian was staring right at him like he’d grown a second head.

“Sorry Mickey, what did you say?”

“I said do you wanna have a break now before you run off to do whatever the fuck it is you do?” Mickey asked irritated. Ian was making him uncomfortable as fuck with his behaviour. For an extremely brief moment Mickey wondered if Ian was denying him to go off and fuck some other faggot. There was plenty of other holes Mickey could fuck if that’s how it is but why should he waste time looking elsewhere when there was a perfectly good dick right in front of him.  

Ian felt nauseous at the thought of fucking. It didn’t help that he’d be doing all the fucking either. He’d probably throw up on Mickey’s back knowing the way his luck was running, and he didn’t want to think of the potential reaction that would bring. Ian made a show of looking down at his watch seeing they only had 10 minutes till closing before making his excuses.

“I really have to go; do you mind locking up for me?” Ian slid of his chair and started making his way to the door. “I’ll catch up with you tomorrow.” He finished as he quickly shot out the door not giving Mickey time to respond.

Mickey stood stock still for 5 seconds, his eyes still watching the door wondering what the fuck had just happened. Ian just left him there with his dick in his hand and no explanation. Well Mickey was beyond pissed now. First Ian’s off with the fairy’s all fucking day, then he’s rejecting sex and now he’s gone leaving Mickey to lock up which is Ian’s fucking job.

Nah. No fucking way. Mickey went behind the counter chucking his jacket on the floor, grabbed the keys and left locking the shop behind him. If Ian wanted to play games then he could too. Mickey ran down the road in the direction Ian went determined to catch him in the act and kick the shit out of whoever the fuck he was now bending over. Mickey was no one’s second choice.

Mickey was surprised it was so easy to follow Ian, he’d been ready to duck behind a car or a fence any second, but Ian didn’t look behind himself once. After 6 or 7 blocks Ian arrived at a familiar looking house knocking and taking his shoes off before the front door opened for him. Mickey went around the side of the house and snuck up the back steps to peer through the window, he wasn’t gonna bust through the door till he knew what was going on inside.

Years of casing houses was on Mickey’s side, he knew how to peak through a window without being seen and that’s when he realised whose house this was. Mickey could see the pregnant slut Karen Jackson who was supposedly carrying Lip’s kid, though he doubted she even knew who the father was, going out the door Ian had entered. Mickey could see Ian’s head but not who he was with, so he stood on tippy toes to get a better look.

Mickey couldn’t understand why Ian had kept this to himself. There sitting on a lounge with her feet up was the infamous Peggy Gallagher. Hell, even Terry spoke of her with reverence but that still didn’t explain why Ian hadn’t just said he was visiting his grandmother.

******

“Sheila, fuck off upstairs for a while and let me spend time with my grandson.” Only Peggy Gallagher could make an order/request sound pleasant but at the same time leave no room for debate. Ian tried not to laugh as Sheila mumbled something about dinner and medication as she walked backwards up the stairs.

Peggy eyed her redheaded grandson up and down before speaking, “You know, I’ve been here for 2 days and so far you’re the only grandchild that’s been to visit.”

Ian didn’t know what to say. He knew Grammy had been buying the younger one’s stuff and she’d given Fiona money. He also knew it wouldn’t have been hard to find an hour to come see her but to his family, ‘outta mind, outta sight’ was a common occurrence.

Instead Ian tried to make excuses, “I’m sure they’re just busy and Fiona is always working, they’ll probably come see you soon.”

Peggy Gallagher was no one’s fool but she appreciated the loyalty the boy sitting across from her was showing. Shame the others were more like Frank but not this one. Peggy had been studying all her grandchildren in the last few weeks and this one was different. He showed signs of determination like herself, but he also had a softer side that reminded her of her son Clayton, the boys real father. Frank had cried to her about Monica doing drugs without him and fucking his brother, but she could tell he was more upset about the drugs than ‘raising’ his brother’s bastard.

Peggy could see Ian wasn’t fully present and decided to put him out of his misery, “I’m the first to know aren’t I?”

Ian scrunched up his nose in confusion, “I’m sorry?”

“You’re pregnant Ian.” Peggy deadpanned. She’d been through this 25 years ago and she still remembered it like yesterday.

Chapter Text

10 months 1 week before Mickey walks out of Juvie for the second time…

“H…h…how?” Ian questioned brokenly.

Peggy smirked at Ian knowingly. She doesn’t owe her son any allegiance whatsoever, spineless bastard never visited her once while she was locked up. None of the had. “Your father got himself knocked up at your age too.”

“Frank was pregnant?” Ian asks sceptically.

Clucking her tongue at him Peggy replied, “No boy, your real father, Clayton.”

Ian wasn’t shocked that she knew, he just had no idea how to respond to this new information, it was the last thing he expected to hear. From the few minutes he spent with his biological father he’d learned nothing except for the fact he had a wife and another son.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Peggy’s voice pulled Ian from his internal thoughts. “Yes he’s gay but growing up around here he was too scared to be who he was even with my protection, so I got him an abortion and when he went off to college he married the first girl that showed him any interest.”

Ian felt indignant, but glad he wasn’t like Clayton. “I’m not afraid or embarrassed to be gay.”

“I didn’t doubt you for a second boy.” Peggy stated proudly. “But, and this is no reflection on your character, do you want the baby?”

“Yes!” Ian jumped in immediately not even aware what his answer would be but feeling an immense weight lifted from his shoulders.

“And the other father?”

Ian looked down to his lap where his hands where wringing together and his fingers twisting in his t-shirt not sure how much to tell her. “I’m pretty sure I’ll be doing it alone.” He said matter of fact before looking back up at his grandmother.

“Don’t you think that’s Mickey’s choice to make?” Peggy held her hand up forestalling Ian before continuing. “Carl’s pushed me past your work a few times and I seen the way that boy looks at you, but I also know what a sadistic cunt his father is.”

“You can’t say anything Grammy, he’ll kill us, please!” Ian found himself begging because when it all came down to it, he really didn’t know his grandmother.

“What do you think I am boy?” Peggy wasn’t insulted. Fuck, she was proud her grandson didn’t give out his trust easily even to family, especially to family he didn’t know from a bar of soap.  

Peggy pointed to her smokes on the table then watched Ian as he lit one for her deciding she would share a small amount of what she knew about the Milkovich family, in particularly Terry’s wife. “I’m gonna tell you a few things about your boyfriend’s mom so you know exactly how important it is that Terry never find out about your baby so listen good.”

Ian was going to correct his grandmother about his relationship status but bit his tongue instead when he saw the seriousness on her face. He knew next to nothing about Mickey and Mandy’s mom, only briefly asking his best friend but letting it go when she became noticeably upset.

“Her name was Mina and when I met her Fiona was only a toddler. I was at the Alibi back when Stan ran the place when Terry brought her in with a baby on her hip and fit to pop with her second. First thing I noticed was how beautiful she was. Your girlfriend looks just like her at that age and when I say age it’s because the girl couldn’t have been much older. Terry introduced me to Mina before ordering her to sit at my table while he played pool and flirted with some of the local whores.”

Peggy waved her hand again indicating she wanted another smoke. Honestly she didn’t give a shit about most people but there was something about that girl that still haunted her memories to this day. “I didn’t notice at first, I was pissed at Terry for dumping his teen bride on me but when her baby started fussing I finally noticed the girl was wearing a long sleeve top on one of the hottest summer days in years. I still kept my mouth shut, just watched her while she pulled a bottle out of her bag and started feeding the baby. That’s when I saw them. Her sleeves rode up and the few inches of skin I could see were covered in bruises. I looked her over more carefully after that seeing the fading bruises that circled her neck in the shape of hands and felt sick.”

Ian eyes looked owlish which let Peggy know he had no idea what a bastard Terry was to his own family. Who the fuck put’s their hands on a woman carrying their own child? Peggy wasn’t gonna share all she knew with Ian, just what was necessary to protect his own child.

“Mina was quiet, hardly spoke to me but I asked around and found out Terry threatened her family after he saw her walking home from school one day forcing them to allow the marriage. I made a point to go over to their house a few times when I knew Terry was out of town and offered to help her leave, but she was terrified of what he would do to her family if he found her gone.”

Fuck, the pain was getting worse and sitting here all this time was making it unbearable, but Peggy wanted her grandson to know how important it was to hide his baby from the monster that was Terry Milkovich. She had to wrap it up quick and get Sheila down here to get her some more painkillers.

“I saw Mina a few times over the next couple of years, the last time she had 4 or 5 small kids hanging off her and I could tell she’d started using drugs. About a year ago I heard a rumour that she’d overdosed, and it wasn’t accidental.” Peggy wouldn’t put it past Terry, the bile rising in her throat.

Ian was having an internal freak out by the time his grandmother had finished speaking. Did Mickey or Mandy know? And would he have to leave the southside to keep his baby safe? Ian realised he would have to distance himself from his family regardless, he couldn’t risk them finding out who’d fathered his child.  

Watching the way Ian held his hands over his stomach protectively, Peggy decided she would spend her last days doing what she could to give Ian a fighting chance, a plan already formulating in her head.

Chapter Text

10 months 5 days before Mickey walks out of Juvie for the second time…

Mickey was in denial, only he didn’t know he was. He’d missed work yesterday going on a run with his brothers who didn’t really need him, not bothering to let Ian know and ignoring his text asking when he’d be in, but he was pissed with Gallagher. At first Mickey had taken Ian’s strange behaviour personally, thinking he had found a new ‘fuck buddy’ after barely acknowledging him the last few days, then taking off from work early making Mickey follow him to see what he was up to. Why Gallagher didn’t just tell him where he was going was weird since he was always talking about the shit that happened with his family, not that Mickey really listened. Mickey couldn’t hear shit through the window, so he just left.

Gallagher was always oversharing about his damn family to which Mickey would either grunt or make snide remarks. He mostly just ignored him but yesterday, sitting in that hot car with his dumbass brothers talking shit for hours on end Mickey realised he could probably recite nearly every fucked up thing the Gallagher’s had done for the past month. That rambling fucking voice Mickey was subjected to nearly every day had somehow seeped into his brain and refused to leave.

To finish off his self-induce misery, Mickey was never offering to go on a run again without being ordered by dear old dad, Mandy was leaving the house as he was walking in looking far from the happy girl she was a few days ago. Mickey figured his day couldn’t get any worse, so he pulled her up before she could get away and asked if she was ok. When Mandy told him that her ‘boyfriend’s’ grandmother was dying, and she was going to his place to spend the night, Mickey didn’t know how to feel. He mumbled some bullshit to her that for the life of him he couldn’t remember, then Mickey grabbed a 6 pack out the fridge slamming his bedroom door after him cutting off whatever Iggy had been calling out to him.

By the time Mickey was onto his second 6 pack and had smoked way too many joints to count he could barely make it to the bathroom to piss. He’d spent the last hour, possibly two, Mickey wasn’t quite sure, going over the last few days of crap that had flowed from Ian’s mouth before the silent treatment had started and couldn’t remember Ian mentioning once that his grandmother was dying.

It was really fucking with Mickey. Ian told him everything no matter how little interest he showed or how many times he told him to shut the fuck up so why now would Ian keep that from him? Yeah Mickey had seen Peggy Gallagher getting around in a wheelchair but that didn’t mean she was dying, it just didn’t make sense that of all things Ian would keep that to himself.

What was even weirder? Mickey felt like Ian had betrayed him in some way. Ian used to tell him everything and now Mickey felt like he’d been shut out. It just didn’t seem plausible and Mickey was nearly positive he hadn’t given Ian more shit than he usually did. Ian was his own personal fuck toy who was always ready to go whenever Mickey asked but now? Since Mickey had gotten out of juvie he hadn’t even fucked anyone else, avoiding all female contact and his father most of the time. On the rare occasions Mickey did bump into his dad coming home late he always claimed to have been out banging some chick when in reality he’d been fucked up against some wall with Ian behind him.

Before Mickey realised what he was doing he’d thrown nearly a full can of beer across his room splattering it all over the wall and his shitty couch that no one ever sat on. Mickey rubbed his eyes, they stung like fuck, but he blamed all the smoking he’d been doing while he drank. He couldn’t get Ian out of his head, not able to decide if he wanted to hit him or fuck him or both. Probably both but if Ian thought he was gonna wait around for him like some bitch he was dead wrong.

There was only one problem though. As Mickey began passing out thinking maybe it was time to find someone else to fuck him, Mickey knew he couldn’t trust another boy the way he trusted Ian. The next morning Mickey wouldn’t remember that he didn’t want to replace Ian either.

******

Shockingly Mickey woke the next morning without a hangover and with a good hour before he was due to start work. Before leaving his bed he lit a smoke, opened the last beer he had left over from the night before and jerked off. It wasn’t the same as when Ian gave him a quick handy j but it relieved some of the tension. When Mickey was done he showered and made an effort to find the least dirtiest clothes off of his bedroom floor leaving for work determined to get Ian’s dick in him.

Strolling into work like he owned the place, Mickey found Linda behind the counter with a baby strapped to her chest and no Ian in sight. Every time he saw that woman she looked like she’d been sucking on a lemon and today was no fucking different.

“Mickey, Ian’s not in today so I need you to work the register.” Linda told him bluntly.

“S’not my job.” Mickey bit back returning to his pissed off mood from the day before. “Where the fuck is Gallagher anyway?” Great Mickey thought, another day without getting fucked and where the hell was that asshole today? Was he trying to get back at him for not turning up to work yesterday and ignoring his text?

“Don’t you two talk? He’s spending two days with his grandmother, she’s dying.” Linda glared at him waiting for a response, but Mickey didn’t give her one. “Just work the damn register and you can take 2 packs of cigarettes and a cheap bottle of whiskey for each day ok.”

“Fine.” Mickey agreed as she walked out the shop to go fuck knows where he didn’t give two shits about. He would have worked for just the cigarettes which Mickey fully intended to enjoy while he sat bored as fuck behind the counter all day.

Within half an hour Mickey was seething, too angry to stuff his face with his morning donuts. This was now his third day without a fuck after Ian had gotten him accustomed to getting it at least twice a day since he’d started work. Mickey told himself if Ian didn’t take him to the cool room when he got back he was looking elsewhere, but then he debated with himself all day if it was worth the effort when he already had a perfectly large cock that did the job.

Chapter Text

10 months 4 days before Mickey walks out of Juvie for the second time…

Ian didn’t get a chance to say hello before a set of keys was hurling through the air, nearly smacking him in the face before he caught them. Grammy was sitting in her wheelchair out the front of Sheila’s house waiting for him as planned although he had no idea where they were going or what they were doing.

“You just gonna stare at me or help me get in the truck?”

Ian looked from the keys to the truck parked in front of the house which was obviously Kev’s before looking back to his Grammy who is watching him impatiently.

“You can drive can’t ya?”

“Um, yeah, but I don’t have a licence.”

“Good enough. If we get pulled over you can just say I’m dying, now get me in the fucking truck.” Peggy quipped.

Once Ian was settled behind the wheel he started up the truck asking, “Where to?”

Peggy shared the first smile she’s given Ian that morning when she replied, “You remember where Clayton lives or do you need the address?”

“What!?” Blurted out of Ian’s mouth startled.

“Do you know where we’re going or not?” Peggy berated him.

Ian nodded putting the car in gear and pulling away from the curb. A few minutes went by before he dared speak again, “Will he be home, it’s the middle of the day?”

Peggy didn’t want to give anything away, she had everything already in motion. Scolding Ian enough to shut him up, “I’m expected so don’t argue with me boy and when we get there you aren’t to speak unless I tell you got it.”

******

They made good time on the drive over to the northside and apart from the occasional murmuring from her driver, Peggy was quite relaxed thanks to her medications. From the few glances she shot Ian’s way he appeared to be tightly wound up. His body was stiff, hands clenched to the steering wheel, but Peggy wasn’t too worried about any animosity Ian would show during their visit, she just wanted him silent.

Ian didn’t want to be here. Didn’t want to ever see these people again after his first and only visit to this house but he wasn’t gonna deny his Grammy whatever she wanted in the little time she had left. Following her instructions Ian drove, kept quiet and helped her back out the truck into her chair and pushed her up to the front door and waited for it to be answered.

Peggy watched her son’s face turn ashen when he opened the door and saw Ian standing behind her. Finding his voice Clayton stammered, “Ian…Mom didn’t say you were coming.”

Boasting, Peggy announced, “My favourite grandson’s been taking care of me, offered to drive me here after you claimed to be too busy to visit your own mother.”

Clayton stood back silently holding the door open as Ian pushed Peggy into the house running over his foot painfully and followed them into the living room watching as Ian helped his mother onto the sofa sitting down beside her.

Chuckling at Clayton’s hobbling steps Peggy ordered, “Whiskey, neat. Bring the bottle and a soda for Ian.”

While Clayton poured Peggy’s drink she heard Lucy coming down the stairs, a noticeable inhale of breath before she extolled, “What is he doing here?”

Ian started to open his mouth biting down on his cheek remembering he was to stay quiet when Peggy stated, “Oh, you mean Clayton’s son that you knew about for 16 years and hid from him, mmm?”

“What!” Both Clayton and Ian accused in identical shocked tones.

Peggy downed her drink in one gulp before indicating for Ian to refill her glass. “Monica told me you gave her money to keep it quiet. I’m surprised Frank didn’t find out with her big mouth but then again, he didn’t notice when Monica and Clayton snuck off to fuck the last time he lowered himself enough to come back to the southside.”

“What do you want Peggy.” Lucy gritted out through clenched teeth.

“You know, that’s the only thing I’ve ever liked about you Lucy. You don’t beat around the bush and I’m not here to do that either so sit the fuck down and pay attention, you don’t want me repeating myself.” Peggy praised while she opened her large handbag and retrieved a folder.

Ian ignored Clayton’s needy look and glared at his wife who’d denied him a better life, not that he’d want to grow up in a house with her and waited to see what his Grammy was up to. Lucy had her eyes fixated on Peggy and what she was holding, alarm written over her face knowing she wasn’t going to like what was coming.

Peggy began jovially, “Try not to interrupt until I’m done, that means you Lucy.” Opening the folder she pulled out the first of several papers holding them out speaking before offering them to whoever decided to take them.

“Seven properties including this one. Over a million in the bank. Combined you both bring home just over 60 grand a month. Looks like that illegal start-up money I gave you when you got married really paid off.” Peggy grinned wickedly.

Lucy stood abruptly striding from the room stopping suddenly at Peggy’s next words. “You walk out this room you uppity bitch and I will fuck you up. I’ll make sure all those mothers at the PTA you belong to know you’re related to a murdering meth cook whose done hard time. Not to mention your husband having a bastard son to his brother’s wife.” Peggy sneered callously.

Lucy made her way back to her seat straightening her already straight skirt asking coolly, “What is it you want from us?”

Taking Ian’s hand in her own Peggy continued, “16 years of child support plus damages for leaving my now pregnant grandson under the same roof as Frank Gallagher.”

Clayton choked out, “You’re pregnant?”

Ignoring Clayton’s outburst Peggy continued, “This,” she held up a picture of a house from a real-estate listing, “is the house you are purchasing tomorrow, the agent is expecting you late morning and the deed is to be made out in Ian’s name. You are to meet me at my lawyer’s office at 4pm with a check for $100,000 to ensure Ian and the baby want for nothing. You will also sign an agreement acknowledging Ian is Clayton’s biological son, so Frank and Monica can’t try and claim anything. You will also sign an agreement to pay for health insurance for Ian and the baby for the next 10 years and during that time you will also pay him $1500 a month. Lastly, you will pay for college and all Ian’s expenses when he feels ready to attend.”

Peggy was breathing harshly by the time she’d finished, Ian rubbing her back soothingly while Clayton gaped, and Lucy asked calmly, “And if we don’t agree?”

Glaring harshly Peggy threatened, “I have a month, maybe two to live but I have given my lawyer enough information to destroy your good name and proof to send to the IRS.”

Business like Lucy didn’t hesitate to make her own demand. “If Ian agrees not to contact us in the future you have a deal.”

Ian spat out disgustedly the first and last word he intended to share, “Done.”

Chapter Text

10 months 3 days before Mickey walks out of Juvie for the second time…

Yesterday had left Ian barely coherent enough to drive himself and Grammy back to the southside. More so then when he’d found out he was pregnant or that first time him and Mickey had fucked. No one in Ian’s family had made him feel the way his grandmother had done in just a few days. No one in his family had noticed him coming home yesterday in a daze and going to bed before the sun had set.

Ian loved his siblings, would do anything for them but a small part of him had always felt like an outsider struggling to squeeze into their inner circle, hanging off the edge waiting for any crumbs they might throw his way. He would never judge Fiona for her parenting skills because really she’d been a kid herself, not even in double digits when responsibility for himself and Lip had been thrust upon her. Fiona made sure they didn’t starve even when food was sparse but most of her time had been spent hauling Franks ass off the lawn and making sure Lips overdeveloped brain wasn’t getting him into trouble when they were small. Ian had been a quiet baby and as a toddler tended to shadow his older brother around but even then Lip got bored with him. Ian had felt even more isolated as a preteen, began internalising even more when the younger kids started popping out whenever Monica would storm back into their lives leaving devastation in her wake, but Ian adored the babies she left behind, showered them with the attention he’d always craved.

Ian was mainly ignored by his dad who as far back as he could remember hit him even when he was behaving but Lip who was always getting into trouble was praised. The DNA test was like a confirmation to Ian that a part of Frank knew he wasn’t his father, thus the different treatment between sons.

Ian could admit he was jealous of Lip growing up, still was. Lip was smarter and garnered most of Fiona and Franks attention whether negative or positive, but the way Lip had behaved that day they’d gone to see Clayton had twisted something inside Ian. For a brief moment Ian had thought Lip wanted him to have a better life with his bio dad but then cold realisation hit. Ian didn’t want another life but Lip, the one who got most of the attention and had a real shot of going to college and getting out wasn’t happy with his life.

It had taken Ian a few weeks after Mickey getting shot for him to be able to see what he’d had with Kash had been wrong on so many levels. Kash may have come across as weak next to his wife but in reality he’d manipulated Ian like a pro. He had lavished attention on a love starved teen, something Ian had been lacking his whole life, leading them to a sexual relationship when Ian was barely 15. Just the sight of Kash after first fucking Mickey and until he ran out on his family made Ian feel sick.

Ian was sitting silently in the corner sorting through his 16 years of life, playing it back in his head like a weird fucked up movie that happened to someone else in some made up bullshit world made for television. His now lawyer was discussing what would be legal custody of himself, Clayton acknowledging him as his son and signing whatever was necessary to avoid his own mother ruining him, but Ian really wasn’t paying that much attention. Grammy had already told him when they were done they would go through everything with him.

When Ian had zoned in intermittedly to what was being said he’d heard Grammy speaking in a pleased tone, his father meekly agreeing with her and Lucy funny enough had hardly said a word, however she still signed whatever document was put in front of her. Ian had opened his first ever bank account earlier in the day with Grammy’s help and a few grand which she said was her gift for the baby. Ian would need the account for his monthly payments and his lump sum which he knew was sitting on the desk everyone but him was seated around in the form of a cheque.

When it was time for Ian to pay attention, the lawyer informed him that he would be the point of contact between himself and Clayton if the need should arise like in the instance of a custody dispute or some financial matter. The house was Ian’s, the deed in his name. Ian’s health insurance was arranged, and his allowance would be paid on the 1^st of every month.

Grammy also made an agreement. 10 years from today the lawyer would hand over all the evidence pertaining to illegal monies received by Clayton and Lucy once their obligation towards Ian was complete. Ian signed only what his grandmother told him too, he honestly had no idea what most of it was and left them to finish up going outside to think.

Ian had discussed his future with Grammy during the day and he’d made some choices based on her opinions. First and foremost his baby would come first, and he would not be disclosing to his family any monies he now had. Ian needed to be just selfish enough, so he could make a better life for himself and the baby and that was starting today. Ian had been the only steady income earner for his family for so long, giving Fiona most of his pay but now it was time for Lip to step up and learn to be the responsible one like Ian had been.

Ian also planned on moving out within the next week wanting to be settled in before he’d have to tell anyone about the pregnancy and to have a safe place that Mickey could come to if he decided he wanted to be part of his life after he told him about the baby. The house was a few minutes’ walk from the Gallagher home but not in sight. It was an older style house, 2 storied like the one he’d grown up in and also had 4 bedrooms but again, Ian would not allow any of his family to move in intending to get metal bars put on the windows and doors specially to keep Frank out. Ian wanted a stable and calm environment without the Gallagher drama while still being part of the family.

Whatever Mickey’s decision would be, Ian was determined to make Mandy move out of the Milkovich house and live with him. The bruises were getting worse every time Ian saw her and Mandy was his person, his best friend and the one he shared nearly every aspect of his life with barring her brother. Ian also knew Mandy would stand by his side without judgement supporting his choice unlike the reactions he was expecting from Fiona and Lip.

Now that the future was secure, Ian was determined that tomorrow would be the day. Terrified of the thought that Mickey wouldn’t want anything to do with him, Ian knew he couldn’t put it off any longer. It would hurt like fuck if Mickey ended what they had even if it was only sex for him, but Ian could accept Mickey wanting nothing to do with him, or so he told himself. That in no way altered the fact that Mickey still had a right to know he was going to be a father.

Chapter Text

10 months 2 days before Mickey walks out of Juvie for the second time…

Fuck, Mickey was grateful when he woke up this morning finding the house empty except for his sister who was still sound asleep. He had an early shift and Ian would be back this morning meaning Mickey would finally be getting some.

Just like a few days ago Mickey made an effort showering, going so far as to prep himself ready for Ian’s dick. He had no patience left in him, not willing to risk coming on Ian’s fingers alone. This time Mickey got lucky finding a freshly washed t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and a pair of jeans on top of his drawers. Mandy’s must have been in a good mood yesterday to do some of Mickey’s washing too.

Mickey left home with a smile on his face, a cigarette between his teeth and a more pronounced swagger than usual thanks to all the lube he’d shoved up his ass in the shower. Mickey wasn’t gonna give Ian a chance to chat or make excuses that they couldn’t close up for 10 minutes. He also planned on giving Ian a little something extra he’d previously denied him, shooting down the idea every time he asked. One way or another Mickey was getting Gallagher’s dick up his ass within the next half hour.

Ian had been having a staring competition with the door to the shop for the last 5 minutes startling when it finally flew open and Mickey strode into work like he owned the place. Ian hadn’t realised how long he’d gone without sex, a few days was a long time after getting it daily since Mickey had gotten out but the way Mickey made his entrance known… fuck… Ian’s dick felt like it was starving.

After scaring the shit out of Ian, Mickey didn’t give him a chance to say shit. The second he walked in he slapped a piece of brown paper he’d had folded in his pocket on the outside of the door sticking it down with some duct tape he’d also brought with him before letting the door swing close and flipping the lock.

Brows furrowed, confusion clear on Ian’s face, he had no idea what the fuck was happening. All Ian knew was that he’d worked himself up since 5am fully intending to tell Mickey about the baby and what he’d been up to these last few days. “Mickey?”

Mickey pointed to the back of the shop, “Move. Now.” But Ian just kept staring at him like a dumbass. “I’m horny as a mother fucker Gallagher. Get tha fuck up now and I’ll let you fuck me on my back k.” Mickey smirked at Ian’s changing expression and made his way to the cooler knowing Ian would follow.

As Ian’s brain took in what Mickey had offered, another position other than from behind, not that Ian was complaining, he’d fuck Mickey anyway he could get it. Scrambling off his stool Ian nearly lost his footing circling the counter grateful that Mickey hadn’t looked back and didn’t try and control the light skip he had going on. While Ian’s dick hardened with each step, all his laid-out plans for their ‘conversation’ receded to the back of his consciousness to be put on hold for what might possibly be his last fuck. His last fuck with Mickey. His last fuck alive or maybe Mickey would leave him alive but rip off his dick. Either way Ian was far too gone at the thought of seeing Mickey’s face while they fucked.

Mickey may have entered the cooler first toeing off his shoes but when he turned to check on Ian he found him naked from the pants down waiting like an eager puppy. Mickey followed suit taking his pants off fully but leaving his socks on and pushed a table from the wall that he’d barely be able to fit on but he couldn’t go back on his offer now.

Flinching when his ass landed on the cold table Mickey watched Ian practically spring into action grabbing his legs behind the knees but shutting him down fast. “Hey, hey, hey. Hold tha fuck up we got some rules.”

When Ian dropped Mickey’s legs back down he didn’t waste time, he was ready to go yesterday. “Listen good Gallagher, I don’t wanna repeat myself alright! You look at my face, we’re done. You touch me above the hips, we’re done. You can hold my legs but no moving about or rubbing me with your hands or any shit like that, just hold on so you can fuck me hard. You can touch my dick and my balls got it? You don’t follow the rules then we’re fucking done trying other positions.” Didn’t matter how many rules Mickey gave Ian or if Ian broke them he was still getting fucked.

Mickey never failed to surprise Ian. After giving him a fuckton of rules he’d stopped Ian trying to prep him, awkwardly muttering under his breath like he was embarrassed or some shit but Ian got the gist of it. Mickey had prepped himself before leaving home which Ian found nearly a hot as them trying out a new position.

Not wanting to talk anymore, Mickey lay back and nudged Ian with his legs signalling him to do whatever the fuck he was gonna do with them, so he could get his dick in him. Mickey kept his eyes focused on the ceiling while Ian propped one of his legs on the edge of the table and held one up.

It wasn’t until Ian began pushing the head of his cock into Mickey that Ian realised he’d forgotten a condom in his excitement and Mickey realised he should have prepped a bit more but both of them were too far gone to care. Both moaned loudly when Ian bottomed out, each knowing neither would last long. Ian kept one leg up and hooked one arm under Mickey’s other leg to hold onto but carefully not break any of Mickey’s rules.

“Fuckkk…” Mickey choked out before he could stop himself. Ian’s cock didn’t feel as deep on his back but the advantage, from the very first movement his heavy cock dragged across his prostate leaving Mickey wondering if he’d come hands free.

Ian began punching grunts out of Mickey from the beginning knowing he was hitting him just right and picking up the speed slowly for his own benefit. Ian’s cock felt like it was being compressed tightly within Mickey, but he knew his body well enough to know he wasn’t the only one close to blowing his load.

Mickey’s fingers scrambled for purchase seeking the edge of the table when Ian began thrusting into him harder. He could taste blood from where he was biting his bottom lip, his eyes lids falling halfway closed. Mickey could sense Ian sneaking quick peaks at his face but the swirling in his abdomen accompanied by him so close to coming caused…

“Hello boys.”

Chapter Text

10 months 2 days before Mickey walks out of Juvie for the second time…

This couldn’t be happening, not now. Not when Ian was ready to spill his guts to Mickey and share the news of his pregnancy. Ian had never felt so hopeful that he would finally have more with Mickey, even if it was behind closed doors when Mickey had offered to let him fuck him on his back. Every grunt, every hidden moan Mickey made sent images through Ian’s mind of them both naked, fucking face to face in his brand-new king size bed without fear of getting caught. Ian even went so far as to imagined what it would feel like to actually have Mickey press his lips against his own, chastely at first before building up to something all-consuming that matched the way they fucked.

Now Ian was running around the southside risking a job he didn’t really need by locking up the shop not long after starting work and trying to track down his good for nothing father when he should be getting ready to go to school. Mickey had been going on about ripping out teeth and shit and melting down any evidence while Ian had been trying to calm him down to no avail.

Ian honestly didn’t think Frank would say anything, had probably forgotten or would save it for when he wanted to blackmail money out of him again. There was also the possibility that Frank could let something slip while drunk and the wrong person hear but Ian thought the chances of that happening were closer to none, how often did Frank even think about Ian.  Either way Ian had to speak to him before Mickey did anything stupid that could potentially get him locked up and or put Ian’s siblings at risk.

******

How was it even possible that 2 of the biggest dumbasses on earth could be so proficient when it came to taking a life. Barely an hour ago Mickey had finally managed to get Ian’s dick in him after a 4-day drought and now he was planning to kill the boy’s father.

Mickey had told Ian his plans for dealing with Frank before heading home and finding his stoned brother’s playing fucking slappy hands or whatever the fuck it was called. The only thing Mickey remembered about what Iggy and Colin were doing was that Mandy used to play that shit when she was like 10. Somehow the whole situation got stranger when Mickey asked what they were doing, and Iggy seriously stated, ‘he was gonna drop a Cialis and stroke It’. By this point Mickey was no longer surprised, just more fucked up all round.

Mickey went from conflicted, asking for his brother’s help, to fucking nervous as hell that they’d work out what was up when they’d both sprouted like professionals the best way to off someone without leaving evidence behind. As Iggy and Colin got shit ready to help Mickey ‘get the rapist’ Mickey truly understood that his brothers were the epitome of ‘looks being deceiving’.

******

It wasn’t hard to find Frank. Ian really hadn’t expected to find him in the first place he looked, out front of Sheila’s but Frank was so wasted that even after his prophetic rant about homosexuals Ian doubted his recall. He wasn’t getting anywhere with his father and it was obvious he was so far gone he wasn’t worried about Mickey, so Ian left him be and went to visit Grammy instead.

Ian found it ironic that as he entered the house not yet showing, a noticeably pregnant Karen was leaving. Grammy was laying in a bed set up in the living room, pain agonizing her features while Sheila yelled at Jodie to get more drugs because Frank had stolen all his mother’s. If it wasn’t a risk to his baby Ian would have killed Frank himself for his latest fuck you to his family. Ian didn’t believe for a second he could leave either of his parents in that condition, however from that moment on Ian promised himself neither of his parents would be in his child’s life. Neither deserved it.

Although his grandmother knew something was wrong and had asked Ian several times he wouldn’t talk about it too concerned about her right now. Thankfully Jodie didn’t take long and when the pain medication kicked in Peggy drifted in and out of sleep for the next few hours. Ian stayed by her side deciding to give Mickey the night to calm down or do what Ian couldn’t stop him from doing.

When the sun began to set Ian knew he had to go home or Fiona might notice. He snorted and chided himself before remembering his sleeping grandmother was alongside him. “Like fuck.”

“Like fuck what?” Came a voice riddled with pain startling Ian.

“Shit, sorry Grammy. Do you need some more drugs?” Ian tried to comfort finally comprehending her time would be shorter than she’d told him. No way would she still be with him in a month’s time. Ian had his doubts she would be with him next week.

“Soon. Where’s that batty bitch?” Peggy needed to have one last conversation with her grandson now that she’d made up her mind.

“Upstairs showering.” Ian wondered if Grammy was aware she’d asked with fondness in her voice unlike the shit show that had happened at Karen’s wedding party.

“Give me a smoke boy.” Ian was lighting it before she’d finished asking. “You have to give that up you know.” Ian nodded.

“In that cushion you’re sitting on is one last thing for you. I was gonna split it between my useless sons, but you’ve met them.” Peggy was going to divide her left over money, close to 40,000 grand nevertheless after the way Frank and Clayton had behaved she remembered they weren’t the only ones not to visit her. None of them had so fuck’em. Peggy had already given Sheila $5000 even if they couldn’t stand each other, the crazy bitch was looking after her since Frank bailed.

Ian was in awe. The most he’d personally held in his hands was a few thousand and this was a fuck ton more. Ian still hadn’t come to terms with the fact he had more than double what he now held in the bank and a house to boot. An envelope was also in the bag but before he could question it Grammy spoke up.

“I haven’t asked you for anything, but you are the only one who made me feel wanted these last few weeks and expected nothing in return. I can’t make you do it, I won’t be here to see even if you say yes but I want to name the baby.” Peggy winced, the pain now crossing into unbearable and that morphine drip Jodie had mentioned earlier was calling out to her. She hoped Ian didn’t come see her tomorrow cause she’d already decided it was time. The look on Ian’s face was all the confirmation Peggy needed.

******

After sitting outside the Alibi all fucking night and running all over the fucking southside all day Mickey was now fuming. The only consolation, his father wasn’t due home until tomorrow, so he had another day left to live and a half full bottle of whiskey in his hand.

Mickey’s emotions flip flopped between wanting to strangle Gallagher too after he’d tried to brush off Frank busting them but then he’d remember what he’d seen when he’d peaked through batty Sheila’s kitchen window again this afternoon while hunting down that piece of shit. Ian sitting next to his grandmother wiping his face with his t-shirt while she slept.

Mickey paced his bedroom a thousand times over while swearing at the top of his lungs and occasionally punching a wall. When the bottle was down to a few ounces it sucked Mickey into a sleep impossible to wake from filled with nightmare scenarios headlined by his father. The worst ones Mickey didn’t remember when he woke the next morning were the ones where his father forced him to watch as he tortured Ian first.  

Chapter Text

10 months 1 days before Mickey walks out of Juvie for the second time…

Ian went to school on Grammy’s orders alternating between worrying about her, worrying about Mickey and trying to avoid throwing up on Mandy’s shoes while dodging her prying questions. Ian was close to busting himself with wanting to share his news with Mandy, but she’d have to wait one more day. No matter how angry Mickey still was Ian had to try and get him to listen especially since Ian had had to drop a notch on his belt this morning, however after close examination his stomach still appeared flat.

The first bad sign when Ian arrived at work, the metal gate was still locked meaning Mickey hadn’t worked the day shift or they’d have an overlap. Upon entering Ian found a note on the counter waiting for him from Linda telling him to ‘warn Mickey for the last time or he’s fired’. Ian scrunched up the note before chucking it in the bin knowing Linda wouldn’t fire Mickey anytime soon, she was making more money than she was paying Mickey since thefts had dramatically dropped after hiring him.

Ian spent the next half hour stocking the fridges only getting interrupted twice by customers. When all the cold shit was done Ian opened up the loading dock to smoke without closing the shop, the last thing he wanted was Linda to walk in and go off at him for locking up. Ian was so close to smoking through what he’d hoped would be one of his last cigarettes before his world began to tip on its axis starting with Mickey storming through the shutter door.

When Mickey accused Ian of warning Frank he couldn’t lie but when he tried to make Mickey see reason he couldn’t either. Next Ian was going to go with what could happen to Mickey or to his siblings, dead Frank would bring the attention of DCFS down on them, but he didn’t get the chance.

Watching Mickey take his wages from the register while telling Ian repeatedly they were done short circuited something in his brain. He tried to tell Mickey how his siblings had been caught all the while knowing it was different between them, but he couldn’t think straight. Against his own nature Ian went with begging. He didn’t want to beg, he honestly didn’t realise he was begging until it was too late, when he told Mickey, ‘I don’t want you to’.

Ian wasn’t sure if it was the intimacy his words implied or the tears pooling in his eyes that he fought to hold back. It was probably both slapping him in the face harshly when Mickey told him what he meant to him. Exactly what Ian had been in denial about for so long was laid out transparently before him leaving him no option but to finally accept it had all been in his fucked-up head.

The unexpected maybe friendship they’d developed. The brief moments where hands remained seconds too long on naked flesh. The almost shy looks that Ian could now recall were nothing more than ‘let’s fuck firecrotch or suck my dick Gallagher’, but that was it. Ian was a means to an end. A way for a closeted thug to get off when it suited him leaving Ian behind with the lingering words, ‘you’re nothing but a warm mouth to me…’

******

Mickey was livid. How the fuck could Ian betray him like that over a father that was nothing but a leach that sucked the very life out of his children. Mickey was positive getting rid of Frank Gallagher would be doing his kids a favour, nay the whole fucking neighbourhood a favour, but no. So after trudging around to every shithole in the southside Mickey was still coming up empty. It didn’t help that his brothers insisted they help or that their dad was back. Thank fuck the old bastard wanted to get his dick wet and had made a beeline to his favourite whore house not long after getting home after shooting a load of drugs in a vein.

He tried to find reasons why Ian had gone soft on the man that Mickey knew wasn’t his real dad and that treated him like shit. All Mickey could come up with was that Ian’s grandmother dying was fucking with his head because the Ian he knew didn’t beg. Maybe sometimes but that was only when sex was involved, and he didn’t have to beg that hard.

It was a spur of the moment decision to end shit with Gallagher temporarily until he’d dealt with Frank since why fuck with something that was already working so well. Mickey decided a punishment was in order, so he’d originally gone with telling Ian they were done but then Ian had to fucking push him.

They hadn’t sat down like teenage fucking girls and discussed their feelings as there were no feelings to discuss. Mickey made it clear that all they were doing was fucking. No more, no less because there was no chance in hell it was going any further and Mickey sure as fuck wasn’t gay. He was getting off with someone reliable but yet again Mickey couldn’t admit to himself Ian was the best he’d had, and he’d been through enough of the local skanks to know.

But Mickey should’ve known better. Ian had already shown a needy side when he’d run to him a year ago an emotional mess simply because his mom had come home, and the looks Mickey would catch out the corner of his eye showed a boy who thought there was more. Ian was catching feelings which Mickey had already planned on shutting down but then Frank happened.

Those fucking words and that fucking sappy ass fucking puppy dog look Ian gave him had Mickey spewing out shit which he’d convinced himself was true. Mickey wanted to hurt Ian for thinking they were more. His owns thoughts on the matter proved right when that mouth pleaded, and those fucking eyes filled before Mickey’s own, so he’d gone for the jugular needing to end whatever the fuck this was between them.

5. 6. Fuck knows how many hours later Mickey found himself outside the Alibi arguing with himself over a garbage bin while his brothers waited at their strategic points they’d spent a whole 10 minutes planning while they waited in the car for Franks drunken ass to walk out the door.

Mickey was so close he could taste his freedom but that taste quickly became sour. The back of his targets head somehow morphed into that fucking face that had pleaded so innocently like there was more between them making Mickey feel guilt he was loath to accept. Not because killing Frank was that big a deal but those fucking doe like eyes that were on the brink of fucking bawling were shoving all thoughts of his father out of his head and all Mickey could see was red and green.

As Mickey was pushed to the ground making smartass comments while being handcuffed after that satisfying punch he’d laid on the cop his thoughts were still with Ian. Ridiculous Mickey’s behaviour may have been, but he knew Ian would have loved to have seen him do it. But then Ian’s face was back looking all kinds of shit Mickey didn’t want to deal with, just wanted to get away from and understanding hit and he knew this time he’d gone too far.

******

Once again Ian was running towards a Milkovich but his second choice of Milkovich. The night before Ian had crawled into bed emotionally drained not knowing if Mickey was ok or already in custody for murder. Mandy had woken him with a text telling him she was skipping school cause Mickey had broken his probation hitting a cop but he’d asked her to meet him at his new house which she knew nothing about since Ian had wanted to share it with Mickey first.

The icing on the fucking cake was waiting to give Ian his final push out the front door. When Ian got downstairs he found Monica and Frank playing house like it was some normal everyday occurrence for their parents to be making breakfast. So he ran like the devil himself was after him arriving at his new home he hoped to share with his best friend in under 2 minutes.

“Whose house is this?” Mandy asked him as she walked up the stairs to where he was sitting at the open front door.

Ian stood reaching out taking her hand pulling her inside the empty house closing the door behind them. Once inside he was taken aback. Ian hadn’t at first noticed but Mandy looked how he felt which he didn’t expect since the last time Mickey got sent to juvie it hadn’t affected her too badly, but he went with getting it all out quickly before he lost his nerve leaving his questions about Mandy until he was done.

He rattled off, “Grammy blackmailed Clayton my real dad to buy me this house and give me money because she found out I’m pregnant and wanted to help and now I’m doing it alone but hopefully with your help because the other father has taken off to fuck knows where but before he dumped my ass he made it clear I was nothing but a warm mouth to him and I want the baby and I want you to move in with me Mandy cause I can’t do this alone and you’re the only one I trust.” By the time Ian was finished he was inhaling deeply after not pausing once during his verbal diarrhoea.

Mandy stood before him mouth hanging open, pale as a ghost before suddenly breaking into sobs and throwing herself into Ian’s arms.

Ian’s problems temporarily pushed aside while he tried to calm his best friend. “It’s ok, I’m here…” He held her tightly speaking into her temple.

Barely audible Mandy muffled into Ian’s neck, “I am too.” Her chest still shuddering.  

Pulling back Ian looked down at Mandy confused, “You’re what too?”

Tears cascaded down Mandy’s cheeks. “I’m pregnant but I want the fucking thing out!”

Ian knew Mandy, he could read her like a book and this girl before him was not the brave forthright woman he knew and that’s when it dawned on him. Himself now shaking, face nearly as red as his hair from the fury that consumed him Ian demanded viciously, “Who. Did. This?”

Shaking her head vehemently Mandy refused to answer. “Tell me now Mandy or I’m going to Terry. No way is this fucker getting away with hurting you!” Ian snapped.

Mandy now shook her head viciously before doing a complete about face and turning back into the tough as nails girl that he adored, “You can’t tell him Ian and that’s final.”

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t sign the piece of shits death warrant Mandy.” Ian’s own pregnancy forgotten as visions of sliding a razor-sharp knife across an unknown throat made him snarl.

Ignoring her tear stain face and pulling herself up straight Mandy proceeded to send Ian into unexpected shock. “He drinks and mistakes me for mom…Only once in a while…not like it’s a big deal.”

Chapter Text

10 months before Mickey walks out of Juvie for the second time…

First thing that popped into Ian’s head was ‘what would Mickey do’? No doubt kill the fucker, but Mickey wasn’t here, so Ian went with the next best thing. “Get out your phone and call Iggy now. Tell him to get his ass over here it’s an emergency.”

Mandy stormed off heatedly to the empty kitchen and ran the water washing her face clean of the salty tear stains. After she was done she turned back to Ian only to be met with his chest, he was standing right behind her.

“Fuck no Ian.” Mandy said adamantly. “I don’t want my brothers knowing our father raped me then conveniently forgot and it doesn’t really matter anyway. I told him it was his, but he’s got it in his head it’s yours.”

Mandy was shoved aside by a now green faced Ian as he proceeded to throw up in the sink jolting her short-term memory. “Fuck. What if he comes after you, your pregnant. Shit!” Mandy rubbed Ian’s back while he rinsed his mouth out. “But why call Iggy? He’s a dumbass.”

When Ian finally got the taste of bile out of his mouth he came to the conclusion he’d have to give Mandy something to protect himself and her. “Look, Mickey knew I was gay. Was a bit hard to hide when we worked together but he didn’t give a shit. We were sort of friends? Sometimes he’d let me go shooting with him and he told me if anyone ever hassled me to give him a call and if he wasn’t around to call Iggy. He said I could trust him but only if it was serious and this sure as fuck is serious Mandy.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me. I thought Mickey was a homophobic bastard like dad!” Mandy scowled not quite sure what to believe.

Ian snorted at the ludicrous situation they were in. “As long as I kept my hands to myself and he didn’t have to see any gay shit he didn’t care. He wasn’t surprised you were covering for me, but he told me to keep it to myself or he’d punch me, hard.” Ian hated to continue the lie, bending the truth just enough, however he would protect Mickey with what he could.

Mandy had no confidence her brother would be able to handle the situation, but Ian seemed positive it was the only option they had. She called his number letting it ring 4 times, then sent him a text to buy milk, then waited for a count of 20 and called him back. Iggy was pissed to be woken but agreed to come straight over to the address Mandy gave him. The Milkovich kids only used that call combo for emergencies.

******

There were no tears in Mandy’s eyes this time, instead they held the wildness of an overprotective lioness over her cubs while she stood in front of Ian like a sentry protecting him from the violent reaction she predicted would come from Iggy when she finished both hers and Ian’s story. Ian’s hands lay against Mandy’s hips, their touch grounding her with his weird ability to make her feel safe unlike anyone else.

Ian watched the various emotions play out on Iggy’s face while Mandy rattled off their stories ignoring the slight fear he held for his baby and trusting Mickey’s belief in his brother. A few minutes after Mandy had finished speaking both himself and her were now hovering over into panic mode and seriously considering taking off. Iggy was yet to say anything but he was moving about the room without purpose speaking to himself, but they couldn’t make out any words.

Finally Iggy stopped. He sneered at them with what Ian could only describe as a hilariously homicidal grin reminding Ian of his favourite Stephen King movie the Shining with the main character Johnny played by Jack Nicolson. The borderline deranged look on Iggy’s face had Mandy now flush against Ian but they both remained still since Iggy did too a few feet away from them.

Business like Iggy began, his eyes taking them both in, so it was clear he was speaking to them both but addressing Mandy. “Let me get this straight. Dad raped you and now you’re pregnant and he’s blaming your boyfriend who’s gay and pregnant too?” Ian and Mandy nodded to his question. “Everyone thinks Ian’s your boyfriend but really he’s your best friend, but you’ve never fucked but he wants you to move in here with him to this house his Grammy blackmailed his real father for but he’s having his baby alone with your help?” Again Ian and Mandy nodded.

Iggy paused long enough to light another joint depleting his audience of any and all assurance in his wasted appearance however when he spoke his voice contained a brutality Mandy had never expected from this brother. “He’s raped you more than once hasn’t he?” Ian wrapped an arm protectively around Mandy’s chest in response. “I don’t give a shit who Ian fucks but if anyone finds out about the pregnancy and the abortion it’s Ian’s ok.”

Ian agreed with more composure than he felt. “I’ll just tell people your sister turned me gay.”

Mandy turned slightly looking up into Ian’s face, “If you weren’t knocked up I’d punch you asshole.” But it was said with fondness.

“Good one Gallagher.” Iggy surprised them both with a genuine laugh, but his next words held orders that left no room for discussion. “I want you guys somewhere public like a hotel but a nice one, so you get noticed. I’ll give you some money, book for 2 nights and don’t leave the room until I call. Ian, don’t forget to order room service and always answer the door in a robe. Mandy, I want you to send dad a text around 7 tonight telling him you’re staying at a friend’s place. Make up some bullshit name and if he tells you to get home switch your fucking cell off and I’ll call Ian’s.

Mandy didn’t ask or want any details, she could clearly see Iggy was giving them both alibis but, “Won’t that show I lied to dad?”

Teasingly Iggy asked, “How many teenage girls lie to their fucking parents they’re staying at a friend’s when they’re off fucking their boyfriends mmm?”

******

He had no idea where Colin had fucked off to, but Iggy wasn’t gonna waste time looking. He’d formulated the best way to make his father vanish without a trace while he’d been with Mandy and Ian and was now headed to see the person who could help him make it happen.

Iggy didn’t know much about the red headed Gallagher except that he was Mandy’s ‘boyfriend’ and Mickey seemed to tolerate him enough to work with him. As Iggy walked up to the front door of the house that looked much like the rest of the run-down houses in their neighbourhood his curiosity got the better of him making him to decide when all this shit was done, he wanted to get to know the boy that managed to earn the trust of the youngest Milkovich.

Iggy waited after knocking for the person he knew hated rapists more than himself knowing the situation would escalate tenfold since it had happened to blood, even if another family member was involved. A close family member at that. When the door opened Iggy greeted his Uncle with a voice that left no doubt he was there for a serious matter, “Hey Uncle Ronnie.”

******

Ian had refused Iggy’s money, he had his own. The 3 of them left at the same time going their separate ways. Hand in hand Ian and Mandy travelled on the L into the city. They stopped briefly to go to Ian’s bank and to purchase a laptop, that way they could spend the time they were confined looking at furniture they would need to buy in a few days for their new home.

Not much conversation was had during their journey but once they were safely behind their hotel room door Ian held Mandy tightly while she wept silently in his arms.

Chapter Text

7 months before Mickey walks out of Juvie for the second time…

Ian blindly reached for his cell phone, his head still buried under the covers wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep, after yet another restless night trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. The last thing Ian wanted was to be woken by the 2 women arguing downstairs while sporadically screaming at each to get their points across. Ian had tried to smooth things over diplomatically for the past 2 months, but he’d finally reached his breaking point.

For the last 3 months Ian and Mandy had been living as contently as they could given the circumstances. The first week saw a lot of tears shed. Ian came home to find out Grammy had died but no one had even bothered to send him a text. Frank was more concerned with following his wayward wife around, not bothered to even pick up his mother’s ashes, so Ian had paid and picked them up himself.

Mandy had had her abortion with Ian by her side. The physical recovery was nothing more than a blip, but the emotional side had fucked Mandy over good. Ian helped the only way he could, staying by her side constantly and holding her when she cried. Mandy refused to talk about her feelings, it was all too raw but just being in Ian’s arms and having him nearby was enough.

That first week also saw the beginning of Iggy becoming a constant in Ian and Mandy’s lives. The siblings may have grown up in the same house and shared the same DNA but with the age difference and the animosity they’d all grown up with they had never developed a close relationship.

Iggy had been waiting in the empty house for them to return from the hotel with half a dozen garbage bags filled with Mandy’s clothes and other stuff, that way, she would never have to step foot in the Milkovich house again. Neither Ian nor Mandy questioned what they had missed, if Iggy wanted them to know he’d tell them. What they did all discover was that Ian’s new house was easy to break into. A week later when Iggy, who now had his own keys, caught Frank and Monica wandering around in the house Ian had promptly arranged to have his home transformed into a fortress. Within days bars were put on every window and door ensuring uninvited guests were kept out.

No one else attempted to enter the house without permission once it got around that at least one, maybe two Milkovich’s were living there. No one dared look twice at Ian either when his noticeable potbelly couldn’t be hidden beneath baggy hoodies any longer. Rumours and gossip were to thank for Ian’s lack of harassment since the only male he was ever seen with was Iggy, so automatically people presumed the baby was his. Iggy didn’t correct people, he thought it was fucking hilarious. He simply shared one of his wicked grins with anyone that dared to look to long when him and Ian walked by.

Relative calm was had for the first month of Ian and Mandy living together. Iggy became a constant from day one. Initially he came over to check up on Mandy but after a week or 2 he’d adopted Ian as a younger brother too. Iggy brought over groceries for Mandy and himself weekly since he was there nearly every night for dinner and because he wouldn’t allow Mandy to drop out of school. The 3 of them spent their nights and weekends mainly together playing Xbox or binge watching Netflix when Iggy wasn’t off doing whatever it was that he did for cash.

4 weeks and 4 days was how long it took Fiona to realise Ian had moved out. A couple of days after Monica slit her wrists at thanksgiving, which Ian stayed away from and Lip had his brush with fatherhood was when the middle Gallagher’s absence was noticed by his older siblings.

Lip was his usual condescending self when he confronted Ian and just made him feel worse. It was ok for him to be obsessed and chase after Karen like some bitch every time she fucked him over, but he thought Ian was childish for feeling the way he did and having a baby to someone who didn’t give a shit. Although Ian had told Lip the father was a brief fling from the northside and not Mickey, he honestly didn’t seem to give a shit. This caused them to start drifting apart further because in Lip’s opinion only he could move out and have a baby. Mandy tried to intervene and talk to Lip, but then he would spout his venom at her. She wouldn’t let him put it over her and threw him out. No one treated Mandy like that and she wouldn’t let Lip try to control and belittle Ian either. A year ago Lip had tried convincing Ian he would have a better life with Clayton but now he gave the impression that Ian moving out and making decisions on his own was personally inconveniencing him.

Fiona went about it another way. She refused to acknowledge Ian’s disappearance had passed her by instead blaming Monica for the disruption in their lives and his falling out with Lip. Fiona started to hound Ian daily to come home which he managed to brush off for a couple of weeks when she used the younger ones as guilt. But then he started showing and had Fiona served with a letter from his solicitor advising her in the nicest possible way that Ian was legally not her responsibility.  

Ian chose that time to also let Fiona know about his pregnancy which led to him throwing her out for the first time when she tried to push him into a late term abortion. Now the fighting had changed and disturbing a hormonally challenged Ian one too many times while attacking his best friend was too much.

Unable to get her way with Ian, Fiona tried to blame Mandy for his leaving home and becoming a teenage dad. Ian was convinced that Fiona was stalking them because she only turned up when Iggy wasn’t over also hating the fact that Ian was now involved with 2 Milkovich’s, like Gallagher’s were any better. Ian had enough of trying to appease his sister. He didn’t want her out of his life completely, but he’d decided months ago to put his own child first. Fiona’s emotional manipulation and personal attacks on Mandy had to end.

Trying to storm down a set of stairs at the same time needing to hold onto the banister to avoid falling thanks to the unstable centre of gravity Ian carried with him didn’t quite match the furious mood Ian was in. The stress coupled with his lack of sleep had Ian teetering on a knife edge ready to throw all loyalty to his big sister out the window. 5 months pregnant on Ian’s slim physique gave him the appearance of hiding a basketball under his t-shirt.

They were arguing near the front door, Mandy blocking Fiona getting further into the house when Ian got right up in Fiona’s face reprimanding her ferociously, “How dare you come into our home and attack my best friend. It’s time you accepted this is my fucking home and there is nothing you can do to change that!”

Fiona reached out to touch Ian, but he stepped back out of her reach. “Ian, come on, we’re family. I am the only reason that you are still breathing and have limbs in tacked. I know what’s best for you, not these Milkovich’s that are using you for a free ride and will rip you off the second your back is turned.”

Mandy and Ian were equally shell shocked from Fiona’s accusations. Not once when Ian offered Fiona money during the last 3 months was it rejected to help out his family when he no longer lived with them or contributed to their expenses. Mandy helped and cared for him and the house. Iggy helped out financially paying most of his sister’s way but there was only so much Ian would accept seeing as Mandy and he were planning to raise the baby together, as partners.  

Ian’s body vibrated he was so furious. “You sanctimonious bitch! You’ve taken more money off me in the last 3 months than I ever gave you when I still lived at home. Mandy takes nothing off me, her brother supports her ass! Just because my birth father feels guilty for abandoning me all my life does not give you the right to dictate how I should live or how I should spend the money he gives me. I’m having a baby in less than 5 fucking months with Mandy’s help while both of us are still attending school!”

Fiona didn’t know what to say, how to respond to Ian’s explosion but she did feel guilty from the obvious distress she was causing her pregnant brother. Making her way to the front door frantic to escape the situation she’d instigated Fiona froze, hand on the door knob when Ian spoke again.

“I have no problem selling this fucking house and moving northside like Clayton originally wanted. Stupid me wanted to stay close to my family but if this is what I have to deal with day in and day out you can go fuck yourself.” Ian walked the few feet needed to speak directly into the side of Fiona’s face that she hid from him. “Just like you and V, Mandy is my person. I trust her more than anyone in my life including you. You either learn to show us both the respect we deserve or don’t bother stepping foot in our home again.” Ian finished sneeringly.

Ian walked back to Mandy taking her hand in need of the grounding force she gave him. Yes, he’d bent the truth to the extreme, but Ian did mean what he’d said. Ian had inherited the stubborn Gallagher gene, but it encompassed the baby inside him and his best friend alongside him and nothing or no one would come between them.

Chapter Text

4 months before Mickey walks out of Juvie for the second time…

The closer Ian got to his due date the lighter Mandy began to sleep. Since last month, when the doctor had informed Ian he would need a c-section due to his narrow pelvis, Mandy became more alert to Ian’s nightly awakenings in fear he would go into early labour.

Ian was just shy of 8 months and could no longer sleep through the night. Mandy could hear him waddling up and down the stairs at all hours and unless he went back to bed or turned on the TV she couldn’t relax. In the meantime, she was still in school but there were only a few weeks left until summer break and Ian wouldn’t allow her to follow him around at night unless it was the weekend.

It was only when Mandy began hearing the quiet murmuring coming from Ian’s room that she started sneaking out of her bedroom and trying to eavesdrop. 

At first Mandy thought she’d slept through Iggy coming over, which in itself wasn’t unusual as he dropped by nearly every day. The only weird thing when it came to her oldest brother was the close relationship the 3 of them had developed. As Ian’s relationship with his older siblings fractured more and more every day, Iggy became the big brother they both needed. It took some time for Mandy to get settled into her new normal with Iggy, they were basically strangers who grew up in the same house thanks to the hostility their father projected.

So now Mandy found herself spying on her best friend and brother, irritation and a hint of jealousy that she’d been left out. However, as hard as she tried she couldn’t hear a word they were saying but thanks to Ian’s elephant like steps she was able to make a getaway before being sprung with her ear to the closed door.

It took a week of Mandy crouched by Ian’s door trying to hear what was being said before Ian made a mistake and didn’t quite close his door properly late one night. A slither of light shone into the hall which gave Mandy just enough space to peer one eyed into Ian’s bedroom. She tiptoed from her room, quietly got down on her knees and leaned in close enough to see Ian on his bed, legs splayed out wide and his back cushioned against the headboard wearing only his boxers. Mandy studied Ian rubbing lotion onto his protruding stomach while staring down at his hands working slow circles on his skin and appeared to be having a conversation with the baby.

Ian was alone. Had he been alone all this time just talking to the baby?

Fighting off the urge to join Ian, (Mandy loved touching the life growing inside of him, she felt such an intense connection to the baby) would have felt like an intrusion. Instead Mandy tried to hear the nearly inaudible words Ian was speaking to his unborn child, inching as close as she dared on hands and knees to the opening in the door.

‘This is supposed to settle you down so Daddy can sleep you cheeky monkey.’ Joy shone through Ian’s voice.

Less than a minute passed before Ian’s tone turned sombre, Mandy straining to hear…. ‘I know your dad will love you. He’s loyal, brave, strong… hell he tried to kill me once when he thought I messed with your aunt Mandy. He’s gonna be scared at first but only cause he doesn’t want his father to know he’s gay so you gotta be patient with him ok.’

Mandy’s throat felt like it was constricting. Her breathing slightly laboured.

‘It doesn’t matter that your dads aren’t together…’ Ian’s voice breaking on the last word. He sniffed before continuing, ‘not many kids around here have 2 parents at home but all that matters is you bubby.’

By now Mandy can clearly hear the tears interlaced through Ian’s every word, her own falling unnoticed.

‘He might not want… he doesn’t have feelings… What happened between your dad and me has nothing to do with you. I know he’s gonna love you even with nothing between us and that’s what’s important.’

Mandy can’t see Ian through her own tears now, but she can still hear him through his own. ‘We live in a really fucked up place, but I promise you my bubby your life will be better than ours.’

******

After a sleepless night Mandy snuck out the house early with no clear plan on what she would do or say but she needed to see her brother. With everything that had happened in the last 6 months, Mandy hadn’t been to visit Mickey once. After Ian’s middle of the night revelations, hearing him tell her flesh and blood niece or nephew about his other dad, Mandy realised she’d left it too long.

An hour spent on the L left Mandy with no idea what she would say to Mickey, but she knew she couldn’t tell him about the baby, that was for Ian to tell. Mickey’s reaction to the news could be anything from disinterest to volatile and Juvie was not the place to break that type of news to anyone, especially Mickey.

As the female guard feels Mandy up it dawns on her that this is the first time anyone has touched her so intimately since the abortion. Finding herself enjoying the ‘pat down’ but having zero interest in women, Mandy decides it might be time to get back on the dick. And why the fuck does she need to be felt up when she’s shown to a room separating visitors and prisoners by plexiglass?

Still unsure of what to say to her brother, Mandy waits impatiently till his grinning face appears through a door and sits before her picking up the dirty phone. Mandy copies his action after he indicates her own filthy phone.

“Sorry I couldn’t come sooner, I put some money in your commissary.” Mandy starts apologetically.

Mickey snorted at her, “Don’t worry about it. I rather the fucking money you send me every month than your face. S’kept me in smokes and shit since I got here, I owe you.”

Considering how oblivious Mandy had been regarding her brother and her best friend, she cottoned on real quick that Ian had been looking out for Mickey all this time. Knowing this gave Mandy a small ray of hope, at least when it came to the baby.

However, Mandy wasn’t gonna forgive what Mickey had said to Ian easily, but she needed a way to torment her brother without any fallout while he was locked up. So, Mandy chatted randomly about school and all the skanks she couldn’t stand, throwing in some bullshit about Iggy too. She purposely kept Ian out of the conversation, only slowing down when Mickey’s face showed the beginnings of frustration.

When Mandy stopped for a breath Mickey jumped in, “You break up with your boyfriend or something?”

“Why would you ask that?” Mandy feigned confusion.

“Well you always talk about him and you haven’t said a fucking word. Thought maybe Gallagher dumped your skanky ass.” Mickey joked.

“Fuck off assface.” Mandy joked back. “You used to bitch when I talked about Ian too much. Remember, ‘I work with the fucking guy, don’t gotta hear about him all the fucking time.’ Sound familiar? Hmmm?”

“I also know you ain’t his type smartass.” Mickey threw back at her quicker than he’d realised which was evident by his expression.

Innocently Mandy asked, “You know?”  

Brushing it off like it was nothing, “That he bats for the other team? I did work with the fucking guy, wasn’t hard to figure out but whatever. S’nice you covering for him and shit, especially where we fucking live.”

Genuinely surprised but not able to let her brother off scot-free Mandy shared, “Ok, well Ian is doing so so. After you got locked up his grandmother died. At the same time this fucking douchebag he was seeing dumped his ass big time, I don’t think Ian’s over it yet. I can’t convince…”

Mickey interrupted snapping, “The fuck you going on about! This ain’t some fucking gossip session and I don’t wanna know details. Fuck!”

Mandy decided he’d had enough, although what she’d put him through was mild compared to their usual. She could see the hurt Mickey was trying to cover up, years of experience told her everything. Still, Mandy was hurt for Ian and pissed that her brother didn’t trust her enough to confide in her he was gay. Mickey should know she would never betray him.

An uncomfortable silence began forming between them when the buzzer went off letting them know visiting hours were over. Mandy was so relieved, not sure she could hold her tongue further. Not wanting to hurt her brother by giving away what she knew.

Trying to lighten the mood, Mandy chuckled. “No stabbing anyone this fucking time. If you’re lucky you might get out early for good behaviour and I won’t have to drag my ass back here to see you.”

Mickey gave her a half smirk. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

Mandy stood nearly hanging up her phone when Mickey wrapped his knuckles on the plexiglass. A look that Mandy could only call longing? on his face.

“Aye. If your boyfriend has any spare time I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. That’s if he wants. Don’t really give a fuck either way.” Mickey spoke dismissively averting his gaze.

Giving him a small smile Mandy replied, “Sure Mickey.”

Mandy could feel her brother’s eyes burning a hole in the back of her head as she walked towards the exit and felt a spark of hope.