Archive of Our Own ^beta

Here’s the thing, Renjun was clueless. To be fair, how was he supposed to know his boyfriend was a two-faced flirty prick? To him, Jeno was anything but evil, he’d treat him like a precious angel and be there for him whenever he’d need it.

So, really, it’s not his fault that when he sees someone punch his boyfriend out of the blue he fights back to protect him. Renjun doesn’t even think before swinging his fist at the stranger’s face, it is only after that he notices just how tall and much buffer the other male was that he realizes he’s utterly fucked.

“Jaemin?!” Jeno squeaks, Renjun’s body reacts to the name as if he knew who it was but when he tries to attach a face to the name there is nothing. His boyfriend stares at the other boy wide eyed, Renjun could see the guilt dancing inside Jeno’s eyes and furrows his eyebrows. “Why are you here?!”

Said boy scoffs. “I came back, surprise surprise. I thought it’d be a good thing but apparently not, you lying cheating asshole.” His worlds are cold and, even if they’re not directed at him, Renjun shivers. “Explain yourself before I hit you again.” He demands and Jeno gapes like a fish, now it was Renjun’s turn to look at him with an angry expression as well.

“Cheater?! What’s going on?”

“My- your- ugh, whatever, our boyfriend has been lying to both of us it seems.” The stranger explain and gives Renjun a sympathetic look. “Explain, Lee Jeno, we are waiting.”

“What’s there to explain?” Jeno cocks his head down in shame and plays with his fingers as a distraction from the two furious gazes that burnt holes in his head.

Jaemin chuckles bitterly and Renjun copies him. “Well I don’t know, did you perhaps think what you were doing was in any way right? I don’t recall agreeing to an open relationdship, and from what I’m gathering neither did your new boyfriend.”

Jeno massages his nape and sighs deeply. “I still liked you but then I also started to like Renjun and-“

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Renjun shrieks and hits the boy in the back of his head. “You already had a boyfriend when you chased after me?!”

There is a long silence, both boys stared at Jeno angrily waiting for a better explanation that was obviously not going to come. Renjun feels stupid, but he couldn’t have known, he wasn’t the type to break people’s privacy bubbles so he would never have looked through his boyfriend’s messages meaning there was simply no way he could’ve known. Yet, he felt very much stupid.

The more he looked at his boyfriend – well, ex-boyfriend – the uglier he became in his eyes, all the good things he once saw slowly faded as he stared at the floor with guilt plastered in his face. No matter how guilty he felt, though, none of them had agreed to any of it, it was simply wrong to play with two people like that.

Jaemin leaves first. Before he does so, though, he kicks Jeno one last time with all the strength he possessed and disappears in the distance. It’s only then that Renjun realises that they were surrounded by a few people who were still looking curiously at them expecting more drama to unfold, Renjun didn’t feel like pleasing them and crunches down to look at Jeno in the eyes.

“I’ll go get my things from your room tonight.” He informs and the other nods weakly. “It’s over forever, don’t speak to me ever again.”

It’s only when he’s lying in his bed that it hits him, Jaemin the boy who left almost as soon as Renjun entered their school to go live outside the country. It had been about two years since then, which meant Jeno and he had been together for probably more than that and that Jeno had been cheating on him for about a year.

He wants to cry but Chenle shared the room with him and he wasn’t about to wake his best friend up with his crying, the boy had already had to hear him ramble about how much he hated Jeno for being cruel, he didn’t need to deal with his mental breakdown at two in the morning.

Renjun stays still in his bed staring into the pitch black ceiling as tears silently run down his face, he tries to keep his breathing stable and swallows the sobs that threaten to leave his lips. He falls asleep hugging the sheets, subconsciously thinking of how it wasn’t nearly as nice as when he’d fall asleep next to Jeno.

The thing he hates the most about going to an all-day school is having to see the same people every single day and every single hour of his day. That also applied to Jeno, sadly. Renjun had to deal with his pleading eyes in almost every class and every time they’d cross paths in the halls, as much as he tried to ignore the puppy eyes part of his heart still loved the boy and he could feel himself soften. He just hoped he wouldn’t accept Jeno’s apology, he didn’t deserve it.

It also meant seeing Jaemin very often, they’d smile at each other politely and keep going with their lives as if neither were hurt. For Renjun, at least, that was a big fat lie because there wasn’t a day he wouldn’t shed a tear or two over the whole situation. He wondered if Jaemin felt the same but didn’t have the courage in him to get closer to the boy, to be frank, Renjun found him scary.

Not because his face was scary, only the angry one he showed Jeno that one evening, but he was just so tall and broad compared to him that not even his big toothy smile could make Renjun forget just how much stronger the other boy was.

As if his thoughts had been heard, Renjun gets paired up with Jaemin in a philosophy project a few weeks later, he can’t quite believe it at first since it seemed too good to be true but it was right there written in big letters ‘Renjun + Jaemin, SOLITUDE’.

Renjun drags his chair closer to where the boy sat and bows down respectfully, for some reason that seemed to be the right thing to do even if the boy wasn’t his hyung. Jaemin shoots him his big shiny smile and gestures for him to sit down, Renjun could feel the warmth leaking out of the other boy’s body and relaxes visibly. “Hello.”

“Hi, long time no see!” The boy grins.

“Well, not quite.” Renjun chuckles and twirls his pen in his fingers.

Jaemin chuckles as well. “You’re right, quite impossible in a school like this.”

He knows what he means because he thought of it too, Renjun can’t help but wonder if Jeno was giving him the same pleading eyes every time they’d see each other. A big part of him hoped that the answer was no.

They spend the rest of the lesson discussing what they should do and Renjun finds out Jaemin has the habit of staring right into people’s eyes as they speak, he tries his best not to look nervous but his leg wouldn’t stop shaking under the table and he could feel his hands get sweatier by the minute.

“How about,” Jaemin smiles softly. “you come over to my room and we do it together. Like, after school. Is that okay?”

Renjun’s brain freezes, what? He blinks a few times and only snaps out of it when Jaemin waves his hand in front of his face. “I mean-“ Renjun coughs. “Yeah, sounds fine by me.”

“Good!” Jaemin smiles widely just before the bell rings and they wave each other goodbye. Renjun walks out of the classroom slowly, the wheels inside his brain were moving at the speed of light and all the thoughts running inside his head were driving him crazy.

Thankfully that doesn’t last long because someone jumps on top of him and wakes him up from his daze, when Renjun opens his eyes he’s greeted by Chenle’s face just mere centimetres away. “Jisung asked if you wanted to join us today, we are going to the arcade.”

Renjun pouts, he loves going to the arcade, not only because of the games but the aesthetic and atmosphere of the whole place. Meeting with Jaemin was his top priority though. “I can’t, got plans already.”

Chenle looks at him with his eyebrow raised. “You have other friends?!"

“First of all fuck you.” Renjun pushes past him so he could walk to his next class. “And not really, just have a project to do with Jaemin.”

“Jaemin?!” Chenle shouts and Renjun slams his hand on top of his friend’s mouth, when the boy keeps on mumbling something from under it Renjun finally decides to let go. “The one Jeno was cheating on?”

“Who else?” Renjun rolls his eyes.

His friend stares at him with a shocked expression, Renjun doesn’t quite understand why, though. In the end, it was Jeno who cheated and neither of them knew so obviously there was no point in having tensions between them. “That’s so… funny.”

Renjun furrows his eyebrows. “Funny?”

“Yeah, imagine y’all date and like Jeno has to watch his two exes kiss-“

He shoots the boy a horrified look and waves him goodbye. “Alright! Enough, I got class now I’m going bye”

“Okay whatever, bye.” Chenle gives him a smirk and turns his back walking in the opposite direction towards whatever class he had to attend next.

Renjun stays frozen in the middle of the hall, his friend’s words replayed inside his head like a mantra and no matter how much he tried to shake them off they came back once more. He shakes his head violently and forces himself to move from his place, I’m going to be late.

Okay so maybe Renjun feels a bit nervous, but that was only natural when Jaemin was a complete stranger to him. He stands outside the boy’s door and groans, he had been standing there for about five minute and some students had already passed by and gave him judgy looks.

He breathes in, just knock you idiot. Renjun lifts his arm and was about to knock when the door opens to reveal a messy looking Jaemin, suddenly his mouth feels dry and he gapes for hair. “Hi?” He squeaks and hits himself in the head mentally, Jaemin smiles brightly and opens the door wider so the other could come in.

Renjun tries his best to focus on scanning the room instead of analysing the boy, it works for a few minutes but then he’s forced to look at Jaemin again and his efforts get flushed down the toilet. Jaemin looked good, and by good Renjun meant he looked possibly like the hottest boy in the whole school.

The stupidest part however, was that Jaemin wasn’t even wearing anything special, just their school’s black t-shirt and some puma sweatpants. Yet, Renjun couldn’t seem to be able to take his eyes off him.

Chenle’s words echo inside his brain and he shakes his head slightly. “You okay?” Jaemin asks when neither of them say a word for several minutes.

“Ah? Yeah, yeah sorry I’m sleepy I guess.” Renjun lies and points at the bed. “Can i?”

“Of course!” Jaemin sits on it first and pats the spot next to him. “So, let’s get to work.”

Renjun nods watching as Jaemin moves a bit to grab his laptop, they lock eyes and the boy gives him a big smile. This is how I’ll die, Renjun thinks inside his head but forces himself to smile back nevertheless. It was going to be a long evening.

“How was your date with your ex’s ex?” Chenle teases when Renjun finally shows up, it was already past eight and their curfew was going to start at any second.

“First of all, it wasn’t a date.” Renjun glares at him. “Secondly, it was just fine he’s really nice.”

Chenle hums, gives the boy a sly smile and goes back to paying attention to his phone. Renjun doesn’t feel like talking, he had spent hours chatting with Jaemin about the project and his brain was starting to hurt from all the talking. Even speaking Mandarin hurt, which was a rare occasion.

He jumps onto his bed when he finishes changing clothes and hugs his pillow tightly, as he stares at the wall to his right he think about the events from that evening with a soft smile on his lips. Yeah, Jaemin was really nice and had the power to make anyone feel comfortable with his warm smile, Renjun understood why Jeno would’ve fallen for him.

It was just that he didn’t want to be Jeno, he had just gotten out of a relationship and didn’t know if he had the energy to create a crush on anyone just yet. Renjun promises himself to try to stay neutral when it came to Jaemin, at least for the time being, he still had to heal after all.

Some things can’t be helped, Renjun guesses. So when he feels the familiar rollercoaster go off inside his stomach when Jaemin engulfs him in a hug in their third day of preparing for the project, Renjun knows he’s a goner.

It’s not that he hasn’t tried, perhaps not hard enough, but Jaemin was irresistible and terribly touchy. Renjun had limits and the boy wasn’t helping, not when he’d constantly touch his thighs while they’d work and caress his hand when his mind wandered into another dimension when he'd zoom out. Everything just felt so natural, every touch; every word; every emotion. It fell into place perfectly.

Renjun knows it hasn’t been that long, Renjun knows he’s still healing, Renjun knows he’s not quite ready, and yet Renjun also didn’t have the energy in him to force himself to ignore his feelings. So he doesn’t and appreciates every little thing Jaemin does with him, appreciates how the boy draws circles in his back and smells as they hug.

He even dares rub his face on Jaemin’s hard chest, he didn’t care and neither did Jaemin apparently because the smile on his face just grows bigger. Renjun doesn’t hate the way his legs shake at the sight, he doesn’t care anymore, if his heart was going to be broken once more then at least he had fun while it lasted.

Wasn’t that more important?

It took a week, but they finally finished it and it looked amazing. “If we don’t get full marks I’m suing the teacher.” Jaemin stretches his whole body and lets out a groan. “Since we are done, wanna use the rest of the time we have left?”

Renjun raises his eyebrow. “Okay, with what?”

Jaemin grins and clasps his hands together. “What about, we go and eat together?”

The older’s eyes go wide, he tries his best not to have a coughing fit but to no avail. Jaemin tries his best to help the boy with a worried expression, Renjun would’ve laughed at how comical he looked but he was too busy trying to regain back his breathing. “Y-Yeah, sorry my throats dry I don’t know what that was.” He massages his neck. “Where should we eat?”

“Is McDonalds good enough for you?” Jaemin asks quietly and rubs the side of his face with his index, a nervous habit Renjun had gotten used to seeing already.

“Why wouldn’t it? Let’s go I’m actually really hungry.” Renjun dares grab the boy by the wrist to make him stand up, part of him expects Jaemin to look at the hand arround his wrist with confusion but he doesn’t. The boy just smiles and follows Renjun like a puppy following his owner.

The place was crowded, but when wasn't it? Everyone from their school would go there since it was the nearest fast-food store nearby meaning it was always full whenever Renjun would go there to eat.

They wait in line in silence, Renjun wants to say something but the change in scenario from the quiet room they spent the week in to a public space caught him off guard. He was used to being alone with Jaemin not surrounded by people who, by the way, were looking at them weirdly. Everyone knew who they were because of the whole drama with Jeno, nobody missed a good juicy gossip and sadly Renjun got in the midst of it all.

He tries to not think about it much, though. No matter what everyone else said he still liked to be around Jaemin and that was all that really mattered in the end.

They finally get to order, Jaemin does it all for him. The boy would turn around to ask him if he agreed with what he was about to order and Renjun just said yes every time, he was too busy looking at the boy’s face to care about what kind of sauce he was going to get. When the boy wasn’t looking back Renjun caught himself mapping his back, it still amazed him how broad it had become.

Renjun remembers some things from when he had arrived to the school and Jaemin was definitely everything but broad, whatever they had fed him in London had done wonders. He had also somehow found the class picture from that year, it was a miracle considering how messy Chenle was, and compared the Jaemin from then and now. It amazed him.

To him, Renjun was still the same skinny tiny boy from two years ago. It was getting better, he couldn’t deny, but he wished the process would accelerate. He sometimes felt like a kid next to Jaemin, especially now that the boy was wearing a jacket that made his shoulder look way too broad to be normal.

It didn’t really matter, Renjun liked feeling tiny anyways, especially whenever Jaemin would hug him and his face would land straight in the boy’s chest. He loved hearing Jaemin’s calming heartbeat and his breath on top of his head.

“There you go.” Jaemin puts the tray on top of an empty table and sits down, Renjun follows suit. “Enjoy your meal, mister Huang.”

“Thank you very much, mister Na.” Renjun smirks before biting his burger, they stare at each other in silence while eating the food like two vacuum cleaners. In just a few minutes everything was gone except for some of the fries. “Do you miss London?”

Jaemin hums. “Sometimes, I did meet really nice people there. But I love my hometown too much.”

Renjun nods, he understood what he meant. Sometimes he’d miss living in China but it was more to do with the fact that he had been born there not because of the life-style nor the people, he’d miss his friends too much if he moved back to where he lived previously. “I like it here a lot too.”

“I like the atmosphere.” Jaemin blurts out and slurps on his coke. “I like the people.” He looks straight into Renjun’s eyes and the other starts shaking in his spot.

“I do too.” He mumbles and looks at the table.

Suddenly he feels a foot on his leg and snaps his head back up, Jaemin was already smiling brightly when they lock eyes once more. “I get why Jeno liked you now.”

“Ah, so you didn’t before.” Renjun quirks his eyebrows up.

“Not that, personality counts too y’know.” Jaemin rolls his eyes but the smile never fades. “You’re too cute.”

Renjun chokes on his spit. “Shut it.”

“No, it’s even better when you blush.” He teases and Renjun kicks him from under the table making the other boy whimpers in pain and pout at him. “Fine, fine.”

The chatter continues calmly, Renjun tells Jaemin about his hometown and Jaemin tells Renjun about the little adventures he went through while he was in London. It was peaceful, even inside the busy rowdy room Renjun managed to find himself to be at peace. They don’t even notice the sun setting outside and, when they do, it’s already late and they’re forced to run the fastest they can back to school before they’d get in trouble for being out till late.

Even then Jaemin pauses to hug Renjun goodnight before they part ways, Renjun doesn’t bother supressing the smile that forms on his face.

Jeno glares at the two boys while they giggle with each other, he pokes Mark in the ribs and points at his exes while they chatter happily. Mark looks at him and shrugs. “What do you mean whatever when did that happen?!”

Jaemin grabs Renjun’s shoulder without even noticing and Jeno fumes, the other two males don’t notice it though, too busy being in their own world. Jeno gets up and walks up to them, he doesn’t need to call out for their attention because Renjun notices him walk closer and gives Jaemin a worried look.

“What game are you two playing?” Jeno asks.

“What do you want?” Jaemin sighs, Renjun doesn’t know where to look so he just stares at his hands.

“Are you two trying to get revenge? Is that what this is about?” He crosses his arms in front of his chest and scoffs.

Jaemin mocks the scoff and rolls his eyes at him. “The world doesn’t revolve around you, y’know?”

“You two didn’t even know each other! Quick playing games and admit to it.”

“Just shut up and move on with your life.” Renjun snaps and stares right into Jeno’s eyes, his hand was curled into a fist. “It’s really not that hard to accept that you fucked up and move on, we moved on why can’t you?”

Jeno’s eyes go wide. “You’re dating each other?!”

It’s silent for quite some time, the whole class had stopped doing whatever they were doing before when they hard Jeno shout. Renjun’s face heats up and he tries cooling it down with his hand, he isn’t quite sure what to say so he goes back to staring at his hands like they were the most interesting thing in the entire world.

It’s Jaemin who breaks the silence. “What if we were? It’s really none of your business, move the fuck on we are tired of this.”

Jeno stands frozen in his spot, Mark has to be the one to force him to move and go back to his seat. Renjun looks up at Jaemin with a blank face, he didn’t know what to say nor feel but it felt nice knowing Jaemin technically wouldn’t mind dating him. He didn’t want to give himself hope however, it didn’t matter if Jaemin felt the same of not, friendship was just fine. What they had was just fine.

“Injunnie!” Jaemin calls out for the boy when he spots him in the school’s gardens all by himself. When Renjun lifts his head and waves at him making Jaemin smile widely. “What are you doing here by yourself?”

“Chenle is playing games with Jisung, I wanted peace and quiet.”

“Ah sorry.” Jaemin massages his nape.

“What for? Sit down.” Renjun moves a bit to the side to give space for Jaemin to sit next to him and he does. They sit in silence, Renjun starts leaning more and more towards the boy until his head lands on Jaemin’s shoulder. He keeps it there as he reads his book, Jaemin stays on his phone in the meantime.

It’s calm and sunny, just the way Renjun liked it to be, and Jaemin’s shoulder was comfy. He smiles out of the blue, Jaemin notices and pokes his cheek. “What’s up?” Renjun just shakes his head to tell him to forget it. “Wanna put your head in my lap?”

Renjun looks at him and furrows his eyebrows then looks at Jaemin’s lap. “Can i?” Jaemin nods and he does so. Jaemin looks down at him and smiles once more, Renjun raises his arm and pokes the boy on the nose making them both giggle.

Soon enough they go back to doing their own thing, what Renjun doesn’t notice is how Jaemin wasn’t actually looking at his phone but rather at him and his serene expression. He gets caught, however, when Renjun randomly looks at him and finds him already staring. “Creep.” Renjun chuckles.

“You’re too pretty.”

“I said stop that.” Renjun can feel his cheeks heat up and hides them with the book.

“Don’t hide your face.” Jaemin pouts and tries to get the book off the boy’s face. “Why can’t I pamper you?!”

Renjun shakes his head and groans. “I get flustered easily it’s not fair!”

“But that’s adorable.”

“Stooop!” The boy whines and hits Jaemin’s chest. “You can’t say stuff like that.”

“Why not?” Jaemin smirks and Renjun stays mute, because we are not dating and I wanna kiss you whenever you do so Renjun thinks and sighs internally. Friends was fine, but sometimes he wished for more. “Why not Renjun, uh?”

Renjun shoos him away and tries to focus on his book again but Jaemin wasn’t having it, he keeps on teasing him, tickling him all over the place and poking his face to get his attention off the book. “You’re so annoying.” Renjun cries out and hits the boy with his book. “I’m leaving.”

Jaemin presses the boy close to him and nuzzles his face on Renjun’s hair. “No, no you’re not.”

“Jaemin-“ Renjun breathes in deeply, the urge to kiss the boy was overwhelming and he was scared that if Jaemin didn’t let go he was going to do something he would definitely regret. “I have to go, for real this time.”

The boy pouts but nods and lets go reluctantly. “Bye Nana.”

“Bye Injunnie.”

Renjun had the habit of visiting the rooftop when he felt suffocated with school, or life in general. He had never been caught thankfully, otherwise he would’ve gotten in serious trouble with the director, so when he hears steps behind him as he makes his way there he almost has a heart attack.

He looks back only to find Jaemin’s smug face staring back at him. “You scared me.” He whisper yells but sighs in relief nevertheless.

“Where are you heading to?”

“Rooftop.” Renjun explains and turns his back to him, he can hear the steps behind him as he keeps on walking and automatically smiles. “Coming with?”

“Of course.”

It wasn’t cold but it wasn’t warm either, Renjun shivers slightly and rubs his arms to warm himself up. He walks to the border and stares at the streets bellow with amazement, no matter how many times he would go there the view still amazed him.

Suddenly he feels two pairs of arms snake around him, he squeaks but welcomes the gesture. “It’s too cold for a t-shirt, idiot.” Jaemin tsks and pressed Renjun’s body even closer to his chest.

“I know, but I guess it payed off, didn’t it?” Renjun says before thinking twice about it and presses his lips tightly against each other right after.

“Good to know.” Jaemin whispers and puts his chin on top of Renjun’s head. “It’s pretty up here.” Renjun nods and smiles brightly.

Silence takes over, apart from the muffled sound of the city nothing could be heard. Renjun closes his eyes and inhales Jaemin’s scent, if going up to the rooftop felt good then with Jaemin’s presence it felt ten times better. He wished they could do it more often.

He can feel Jaemin flip his body over so that his head was pressing against the boy’s chest, he looks up and meets Jaemin’s eyes right away. “I’m sorry.” The boy whispers but before Renjun can ask what he meant he was already bending down and pressing his lips against Renjun’s.

Renjun blinks before closing his eyes and relaxing, he smiles against Jaemin’s lips and puts his arms around the boy’s neck. Jaemin is the first to break apart, he looks into Renjun’s eyes with curiosity. “You’re smiling.”

“I am.” The boy nods and smiles even more. “Do it again.”

Jaemin quirks his eyebrows up and finally cracks a smile, the worry and nervousness in his expression completely vanished as he bent down again to place another kiss on Renjun’s mouth.

If there was something Renjun had learn from dating Jeno was kissing, and he sure as hell had missed it. On top of that, the amount of time he had spent supressing the need to kiss Jaemin had been eating his insides for far too long, so he kisses the boy like his life depended on it.

Jaemin lets out a noise of surprise when Renjun bites his lower lip and sucks on it softly, Renjun snickers and does it again. In no time, the kiss had become a fight for who managed to make the other more surprised. It’s only when Renjun decides to put his tongue in action that Jaemin gives up and lets him take control, he was too far gone to care for child-like games. All he wanted to do was kiss Renjun till the sun rose and his lips bled.

Renjun breaks the kiss and then pecks the boy on the lips one last time. “This is news to me.”

“Could say the exact same.” Jaemin chuckles and kisses Renjun’s forehead.

“Since when?" The older rubs his face on the other’s neck, smelling the sweet scent while he was at it.

“I don’t know, one day It was there.” Jaemin shrugs and plays with the boy’s locks, Renjun nods and hums in understanding. “Can I kiss you again?”

The boy laughs out loud and nods. “Forever if possible.”