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Chapter Text

Look Alive, Sunshine

The building was in terrible shape. The windows were blown out and hastily boarded up, and the inside was a disaster zone. And yet the man sitting at the bar acted like it was a professional radio station. He flicked on the transmitter and spoke into a well-worn mic. He spun in his chair, holding the mic, and spoke to the skater standing behind him.

“Look alive, sunshine.”

They said nothing, but instead skated to the door and glanced outside. The man spun back around and set down the mic. He leaned in and spoke rapid-fire into the mic, broadcasting it out over the irradiated desert.

“One-oh-nine in the sky, but the pigs won’t quit. You’re here with me, Dr. Death Defying. I’ll be your surgeon, your proctor, your helicopter – pumpin’ out the slaughter-matic sounds to keep you live. A system failure for the masses, antimatter for the master plan! Louder than God’s revolver and twice as shiny, this one’s for all you rock-and-rollers. All you crash queens and motorbabies. Listen up! The future is bulletproof. The aftermath is secondary. It’s time to do it now and do it loud. Killjoys, make some noise!”

Far away, the group of Killjoys leaned against their car and listened to the broadcast. Without a look at one another, but grinning beneath their masks, they climbed in and started the engine.

Chapter Text

Dustrunner hit the gas, and the car took off towards the hazy blot on the horizon. Fun Ghoul was riding shotgun while Nitro Sweet and Missile Kid were in the backseat. Nitro leaned forward and loaded a disk into the car’s audio system and Ghoul hit Play. Nitro started helping Missile Kid organize his small arsenal as the song warmed up.

“Drugs, gimme drugs, gimme drugs, I don’t need it but I’ll sell what you got; take the cash, and I’ll keep it. Eight legs to the wall, hit the gas, kill ‘em all, and we crawl, and we crawl, and we crawl…” The car accelerated.

“Gimme my detonator,” Missile called out. Nitro handed it to him, and Missile Kid wired it up to his explosive pack.

The song continued as Battery City came into focus.

“Love, gimme love, I don’t need it, but I’ll take what I want from your heart,” The ruined outskirts flew by, and Battery City loomed.

“and I’ll keep it in a bag, in a box; put an X on the floor, gimme more, gimme more, gimme more…” The Killjoys drew pistols, and Missile Kid put on a backpack.

“For mall security,” Dustrunner hit the gas, and the car burst through a BL/ind. checkpoint.

“through every enemy.” The car skidded to a stop in front of a small BL/ind. Area Command Center.

“We’re on your property,” The three hopped out, guns at the ready.

“standing in V-formation,” Fun Ghoul led the way.

Dustrunner sped away, back to the Zones. The song continued to play within Ghoul’s head as they ran across the courtyard toward the main building.

“Let’s blow an artery,” They reached the front door.

“in plastic surgery,” Ghoul’s pair of shots only left scorch marks on the door.

“Save your apologies.” Ghoul motioned to Missile Kid.

“Give us more detonation.”

Grinning, Missile grabbed a pair of breaching explosives and strapped them to the door. The Killjoys stood back.

“More, gimme more, gimme more,” The door fell, and the Killjoys rushed in.

“Oh, let me tell you ‘bout the sad man,” The Director shouted something – Ghoul couldn’t hear it over the din inside his head – and four Draculoids drew pistols and opened fire.

“Shut up and let me see your jazz hands,” The Killjoys returned fire, and three of the Draculoids fell.

“Remember when you were a madman, thought you was Batman,” Nitro rushed forward, drawing a second pistol and dropping the last Drac.

“and hit the party with the gas can, kiss me you animal!” Missile Kid started spreading explosives throughout the server rooms and paperwork files.

“You run the company,” The Area Director fled toward the back door.

Another shot rang out. “--- like a Kennedy,”

“I think we’d rather be burning your information,” The Area Director fell as Missile Kid finished setting his timers.

“Let’s blow an artery,” Nitro Sweet and Fun Ghoul raced to the exit.

“in plastic surgery,” Missile Kid joined them as they escaped through the door.

“give your apology,” The Killjoys burst out onto the street.

“Give us more detonation.” The compound burst into flames behind them, and the Killjoys paused, looking out into the city. Ghoul spoke to the other two as they started into the alleys. Meanwhile, a set of Dracs dispatched from BL/ind. City Command started setting up a barricade.

“And right here, right now, all the way through Battery City, the little children raise their open, filthy palms, like tiny daggers, up to heaven. And all the juvie halls, and the Ritalin rats, ask angels of neon and fucking garbage and scream out: ‘What will save us?’ And the sky opened up,”

The Killjoys ran into an open plaza and were greeted by the Dracululoid barricade.

“Everybody wants to change the world, everybody wants to change the world, but no one, no one wants to die!” The Dracs fired at the Killjoys, hitting Missile Kid in the shoulder and narrowly missing the other two.

“Wanna try, wanna try, wanna try, wanna try, now, I’ll be your detonator!” The Killjoys took cover behind walls and dumpsters and returned fire. A rally of shots ensued, with three of the twelve Dracs falling quickly, and the others taking cover behind their barricade. As the firefight went on, the Killjoys started giving ground and the Dracs started advancing, ducking behind buildings and running across the street.

“Make no apology,” Missile Kid, wounded, tried to retreat but was hit in the leg. He fell to the ground.

“It’s death or victory,” Two Dracs raced to him, dragging him to his feet.

“On my authority, crash and burn, young and loaded,” The other two Killjoys fired on the Dracs, but missed and were forced back down to avoid being hit by the return shots. A third Draculoid pulled out a mask and started trying to get it over Missile Kid’s face.

Missile Kid screamed and thrashed. “Drop like a bullet shell? Dress like a sleeper cell? I’d rather go to hell than be in purgatory, cut my hair, gag and bore me, just pull this pin, and let this world explode…” Missile Kid, struggling, freed an arm and pulled a cord on his vest and erupted in a ball of flames.

Chapter Text

Dustrunner hit the gas, and the car took off towards the hazy blot on the horizon. Fun Ghoul was riding shotgun while Nitro Sweet and Missile Kid were in the backseat. Nitro leaned forward and loaded a disk into the car’s audio system and Ghoul hit Play. Nitro started helping Missile Kid organize his small arsenal as the song warmed up.

“Gimme my detonator,” Missile called out. Nitro handed it to him, and Missile Kid wired it up to his explosive pack.

Battery City started to come into focus – a sprawling haven from the irradiated desert of the Zones. The car passed buildings, bombed-out and ruined, and other remnants of a world left behind. As they approached the outer edge and BL/ind. checkpoint, the three Killjoys drew pistols. Missile Kid stowed his last bit of explosive in a backpack and put it on. The checkpoint came into focus, and Dustrunner punched the gas pedal.

They burst through the checkpoint, scattering the two Draculoids stationed there, and continued toward the BL/ind. Area Command Center. Fun Ghoul mentally reviewed the plans one last time, despite having gone over them dozens of times with Dr. Death back at the base.

Destroy the Area Command Center. Continue towards city center and do as much damage as possible, then meet Dustrunner again and escape. Draw BL/ind.’s attention for as long as possible. Try not to die, but realize that you’re not the focus of this plan.

Dustrunner pulled up to the Center, and the Killjoys quickly piled out of the car before he sped away, back to the safety of the Zones. As they approached the door, Ghoul fired a pair of shots at the door, which both dissolved, leaving only scorch marks. No luck. Ghoul motioned to Missile Kid when they reached the intact door.

“Give us more detonation.”

Grinning, Missile grabbed a pair of breaching explosives and strapped them to the door. The Killjoys stood back as he wired them up. He flicked a switch, and the door burst inward. The Killjoys rushed in, and Ghoul quickly sized up the situation.

Director across the room – don’t let him get away. Two Dracs on the catwalks above, two more on the ground. All armed, all dangerous.

The Director shouted a command, and the Draculoids opened fire. Poor bastards, can’t even think enough to save their own skin.

The Killjoys promptly returned fire, and the two Dracs on the catwalk fell, along with one on the floor. The fourth fired off a couple of shots before Nitro Sweet rushed forward and put it out of its misery with a well-placed shot from her second pistol. Nitro and Ghoul chased after the fleeing Director while Missile Kid started spreading explosives through the server racks, across desks, and on computers.

The Area Director hadn’t even drawn his pistol when Ghoul shot him in the head as he tried to escape through the back door.

“Heh. Trying to escape back to BL/ind? I think you’ll burn instead,” Ghoul muttered as they made their way back through the server racks. Missile Kid yelled to them. “Timers set! Let’s get out of here!”

They met outside the compound, about a block away, and paused as the Command Center burst into flames.

The BL/ind. Director of Operations, Summertime, stormed into City Command.

“Dispatch a set of Draculoids right now, between City Center and the destroyed Area Command. No, not Exterminators, I told you, we’re keeping them out of combat until we’re sure we need them. Those terrorists may be suicidal, but they’re not stupid. There’s another layer here that’s not in play yet.”

The Killjoys wound their way through the alleyways, headed toward the heart of the city and the rendezvous with Dustrunner. Fun Ghould readjusted his mask and rechecked the batteries in his gun, and they rounded the corner into a plaza and main road.

The BL/ind. Troop Transport Vehicle can carry 8 Draculoids, including the driver, and is the go-to method of distributing BL/ind. objectives throughout the city. It is a white armored truck, with the BL/ind Smile painted on the side door. Two of them were parked sideways on the main road, cutting off the Killjoys’ route. A shout from the leader preceded a volley of shots. The Killjoys ducked behind the wall, and Missile Kid swore. “Fine, then. If that’s how it’s going to be…”

They bolted, running across the plaza and taking cover behind dumpsters and smaller alleys, and promptly started returning fire. Three of the sixteen Draculoids fell, their hideous grins unchanged. The rest took cover behind the trucks. The firefight continued until five Dracs broke cover and rushed forward, the other eight providing cover fire. The runners started taking shots at the Killjoys, who were no longer under cover. Two of the five fell to Nitro Sweet and Fun Ghoul, but Ghoul shouted a retreat. The Killjoys started giving ground as the runners took cover. Missile Kid, behind a dumpster nearest the Dracs, sprinted to get to cover across the street, but was hit by a shot in his hip. He collapsed on the street, and his mask fell off. More Dracs rushed forward, firing on the move, and Ghoul and Nitro ducked down. When they looked back up, two Dracs had dragged him upright and were trying to force a Draculoid mask on him. Missile Kid screamed and thrashed, making eye contact with Ghoul as he shouted out his final speech.

“Make no apology, it’s death or victory! On my authority, crash and burn, young and loaded! Drop like a bullet shell? Dress like a sleeper cell? I’d rather go to hell than be in purgatory, cut my hair, gag and bore me, just pull this pin, and let this world explode…”

Missile Kid finally freed an arm, pulled a cord on his vest, and erupted in a ball of flames. The Dracs nearest him were vaporized, and the others rushing forward were knocked down, many hit with shrapnel. Fun Ghoul and Nitro Sweet ran, leaving the cracked and broken plaza behind.