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"I'm going to get you, Hal..." you warn teasingly, crouching down a bit as you come through the doorway into the kitchen. The stance isn't to lower your profile, like you would if you were actually fighting someone. No, this time it's so a certain little kid can reach to jump up on your back when he ambushes you.
Which is precisely what he does, giggling and clinging to your neck as he tries to tickle you. The laughter turns into a happy shriek when you straighten up and reach back to get ahold of his legs, flipping him upside down for a second as you pull him around in front of you.
Hal pouts when you turn him right-side-up again. "More, bro!" It's equal parts insistence and command.
"Nope." The frown dissolves when you push his shirt up to start tickling his stomach, though. "Can't have you throwing up from being upside down, dude—makes you not as tasty when I eat you, c'mon."
"Nuh-uh." He's already laughing again, shaking his head as you pretend to chomp at his shoulder and keep tickling. "Not yummy, nope!"
"So yummy." You have to pull back for a second as he twists in reaction to your finding a particularly ticklish spot, but then you're right back to eating his neck. Well, giving him kisses there. Close enough. "You're sweet; most lil' kids are, but you're more sweet, tastes like cake and cookies, so good—"
"Nooo..." Hal whines and squirms in your arms, giggles starting to taper off. He's not really trying to get loose yet, and he's not verbally complaining, but you're still pretty sure it's time to stop with the tickling for right now.
Actually, that unhappy note that's just come into the wordless sounds he's making means he definitely wants you to put him down now. You take a second to try to calm him down first, though. It's a mistake, because he shrieks and shoves at you.
And from somewhere out of sight Dirk shrieks, too. His isn't a cry of annoyance, though—no, this is a goddamn battle cry, even if it's coming from a five-year-old, and as you lean down to set Hal on the ground Dirk dives out somewhere—you have no fucking clue where he was hiding—and slams something into your face.
Something hard, because you taste blood. Ouch.
"Holy shit, Dirk!" You're pretty sure you're spitting blood with each word. At least he didn't knock out any teeth...
Dirk's standing protectively in front of Hal, now, holding the toy wooden sword that you won for him at the carnival last month. (You honestly didn't expect it to be this dangerous. Shows how much you know.) His mouth's set in a firm line, but as you touch your face and wince at your busted lip, his lips start trembling. "...Dave?"
"Bro?" Hal asks. Dirk's attack in his defense startled him, and he's currently sitting on the floor, looking confused and upset. Which gets appreciably worse when he figures out that you're hurt. "Bro..."
Dirk drops his wooden sword and starts crying at the exact same time that Hal does.
Well, shit.
"Guys, hey." There's a rag you used to wipe up coffee this morning on the counter; you grab that and repurpose it to swipe at your face with. Damn, he cut your cheek too—guess that explains most of the blood, right? "Come here. C'mere. It's okay."
That does not, in fact, get either Dirk or Hal to stop crying. But when you sit down on the tile floor and hold out your arms, Dirk immediately plops down in your lap and grabs a double fistful of your shirt.
Hal waits until you lean over and pull him in, though. Dirk scoots over to let him fit, letting go with one hand to pat Hal in time with his sniffling.
"Sorry," Dirk mumbles into your shirt. "Hal yelled..."
"Hey!" Hal shoves at Dirk's shoulder.
"You did!"
"Nuh-uh!"
"Did so!"
"Guys, chill." They both look up at you.
Hal and Dirk definitely have a twin thing, that sometimes-spooky almost-telepathy that occasionally unnerves everyone and surprises exactly no one. They look almost identical, after all; you can tell them apart, but half the time nobody else can without checking for Dirk's golden eyes or Hal's crimson ones.
You're still amused by the fact that everybody just accepted that you suddenly had twins instead of one kid. Realistically, Hal's changeling nature probably had something to do with that, but it's still pretty damn funny. Just like it's funny that they do the twin thing despite the fact that they weren't twins until you told Dirk they were.
The negative aspect is that if one gets upset, they both will. The positive is that they'll calm each other down too, at least to some extent. It's working right now, anyway. They've stopped crying.
Hal frowns and reaches up to ghost his fingertips across the cut on your cheek, amazingly delicate for a kid his age. "An ow?"
Dirk doesn't try to touch, just presses up closer to you and watches. "My fault."
"You made a mistake, Dirk. It's okay, just don't bushwhack me again," you reassure him. Hal's fingers press a little harder and you can't help but wince. "Hal..."
"Can I fix it?"
"I think maybe you should stop touching it, actually."
"Uh-uh." He does take his hand away, though, squirming so he can kneel on your leg (ow) and balance himself with both hands on your shoulders, pressing soft little-kid kisses against your cheek.
Again, ow. You still humor him and hold still.
"Hal?" Dirk asks, orange eyes lighting up with interest. He reaches for your face as Hal sits back on his heels, and you sigh. Somehow nobody warned you that having baby bros would mean that they'd both want to repeatedly touch every injury you accumulated. "Oooh."
"...huh." Okay, that...doesn't hurt. You blink down at Hal, who looks enormously pleased with himself. "You do something, man?"
He nods, grinning widely as Dirk giggles and stretches up to kiss your cheek. "Fixed it."
"Well, that's pretty damn cool." He whines when you tousle his white-blond hair, but it's accompanied by an eye-roll instead of him jerking away from your hand. "Thanks."
"Mhm." Hal crawls back up into your lap, pulling Dirk down to cuddle with him and grinning again as you wrap your arms around them both. "Good bro."
"Hey, I do try."

Fox_Salz Thu 08 Feb 2018 12:24AM UTC
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spaghettiandratsauce Thu 08 Feb 2018 12:42AM UTC
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notsafefortheworld Thu 08 Feb 2018 12:53AM UTC
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Rawr (Guest) Thu 08 Feb 2018 12:08PM UTC
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SleepingDragons Sun 20 May 2018 11:57PM UTC
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Corvid_Knight Mon 21 May 2018 11:28AM UTC
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Prumania Mon 21 May 2018 02:36AM UTC
Last Edited Mon 21 May 2018 02:37AM UTC
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Corvid_Knight Mon 21 May 2018 11:25AM UTC
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Nayt Mon 24 Sep 2018 11:16AM UTC
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Corvid_Knight Mon 24 Sep 2018 11:56AM UTC
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