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Summary:

Nothing's gonna disappear

~------------------------~

Months after your recovery you finally save enough to travel with Zenyatta, enjoying his presence after managing your relationship long distance. However, there are challenges with travelling with him that you didn't expect, those dark thoughts threatening to take you again.

Notes:

This is a rewrite of a fic with the same name, it was taken down but I figured I should post the rewrite. This was meant to be part of a series but I dont care so read this or that, it doesn't matter.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You curled up your body, even more, hands shoving into your coat. With a tug you pulled the coat over your metal hand, feeling the chill in the air the second you landed in Germany. As you walked past someone you hoped they wouldn’t recognize your face, hoping enough time had passed for the rest of the world to forget your stupidity.

Despite what Zenyatta told you, you were being stupid there for a few years.

Quite literally throwing yourself into death was the opposite of a healthy and smart attitude to life. You were pretty sure he didn’t know if you were ready to accept the reality of that yet and you may not have until recently.

You gave a little stretch before hoisting your back even higher on your shoulder, wanting out of the crowds of people that seemed natural in the city airport. Your skin began to crawl, already exhausted from your trip as you pushed your way through the people.

You felt the cool air wash over you as you finally got out, taking a deep breath after flying for so long. Your eyes slid shut as you just enjoyed it for a few moments, body stretching out the kinks that had built up during your travel.

Energy suddenly swelled through you and you couldn’t help but feel excited as you looked around, wondering Zenyatta managed to get to. You plodded onwards, trying to find a view of the Shambali Monk. It wasn’t until the peace that radiated from his very being started to fill you did find him.

A smile spread across your face at the sight of him, seeing his body radiate with joy as he saw you. You ached to feel him in your arms as you walked towards him, awkwardly standing there as you realized the stares that were coming towards the monk.

Your hands clenched before you waved at Zenyatta, a forced smile that he didn’t miss on your face.

“I missed you,” you finally said, “Been forever.”

“It has,” he said simply, you knew that he was going to ask you later about what happened.

“Where are we heading first?” you asked with a tilt of your head, trying to move on from this.

He slid his fingers between each other, giving a hum as he just looked at you. You just put your hands on your hips, wiggling your hips slightly as you waited.

“Genji is in a city east of here, I was thinking of making our way there,” he said and you nodded, figuring it was better than doing nothing.

You just waited for him, seeing him start to float down the street. You followed him, a firm grip on your bag as you looked around the streets that were just so alive. People and omnics of different origins were arguing over the prices in the market.

You peered at everyone with wide eyes, feeling the pulse that thrummed from the people and through the streets. It was something you never had really felt before but now it made your heart ache with a joy that had been hidden from you.

Why did depression have to take that away?

You suddenly mourned that feeling of living that disappeared for a few years now but quickly pushed that deep pit away. It still crept on the edges of your life but you were stronger now, fighting for a chance to live and love again without that darkness there. Whatever you had lost could be found again and that was worth fighting for.

You peered at Zenyatta who had seemed to sense the turmoil that went in your head and you smiled, Zenyatta feeling relieved as the discord swept away. Your hand ached, wanting to grasp the smooth metal of his hand with your own.

Your fingers moved and stroked the palm of your hand to wipe away the urge, not wanting to bring the wrath of ignorant people down on both of you. You weren’t in Numbani anymore and it tore you apart to realise the side-effects of that.

Beyond the cold that shuddered through your body as you simply walked, missing the heat that blared down everywhere in the city you called home.

Your hands grasped your jacket, pulling it closer with a shiver and Zenyatta just chuckled next to you. His body radiated warmth even now and you felt yourself instinctively shuffle towards him but snapping out of it to keep enough distance.

A woman sobbed into her hands up ahead and you instinctively turned to Zenyatta, your eyes beginning to burn with the urge to cry at her grief. Zenyatta just blazed ahead, his voice calm and soft as he talked to her.

You noticed the skitterish way she refused to look at him but she opened up slightly at noticing the orbs trailing around his neck. She still looked uncomfortable but eased into the reason for her crying.

“Forgive me if this is too much, but may I ask what's wrong?” Zenyatta asked with his hands folding into each other.

“My daughter is sick,” she said, “They’re telling me to say my goodbyes.”

She grew more desperate then, willing to overlook his metal body for her child, “You are one of the Shambali are you not? I've heard about you, omnic energy that can heal.”

“I can try but I cannot promise anything,” was what he said, you flickering your eyes between the two of them

She rubbed at her red cheeks before standing up, sniffling slightly as she shuffled around. With a call over her shoulder, she led the pair of you through the ambling streets, the buildings old and made of stone. She stopped in front of a tiny house that seemed to melt into the one next of it, something passing through her mind before letting you both in.

She brushed aside letters before slipping off her shoes, leading Zenyatta upstairs to what you assumed was her daughter's room. You untied your own, gently putting them aside before noticing the woman standing there awkwardly and staring at the door.

“Excuse me?” you said and she jumped, seeming to forget that you were here.

“Could I have some water?” you asked and she flew down the stairs, apologizing for not thinking of you sooner.

You just followed her into the kitchen with a smile, watching her fill up a cup. She handed it to you without a word before staring downwards, exhaustion radiating from every part of her being. You awkwardly shuffled over to the wooden chair, scuffed and dirtied through years of use.

“So,” you said, startling her again, “What’s your name?”

“Amalia,” she said with a short tone, temper showing through the cracks.

You sighed, deciding to do your best to reassure her.

“Amalia, Zenyatta will do everything he can,” you said, “Take a seat, there’s truthfully very little you can do right now.”

She fussed where she stood for a moment before sitting down where you gestured, head resting in her hands. You went and got another glass from where she got yours and filled it with water as well, setting it down in front of her.

You sat down, picking up your glass again, “What’s your daughter’s name, Amalia?”

“Lena,” she said, sipping the water.

“I know a Lena as well,” You smiled, reminded of Tracer, “She’s a complete ball of energy.”

“That sounds like my Lena as well,” Amalia smiled, “When she’s well at least.”

“Any stories in particular?” you asked, seeing her shoulders relax slightly at the memory that swelled across her.

“Well, when she was very little,” a smile spread across her face, her hand slipping up on her forehead and tufts of hair poking out of her fingers.

You just watched the calm that radiated from her as she described her daughter when four, grasping the toilet paper and shooting down the hall. She’d weaved it through the bannisters, coating every surface she could before getting caught.

Your fingers still rested on the warming glass, so enraptured by the story she told. From there she shot off into something else that happened, seeing her become relaxed as Amalia told you those memories she held so dear.

Zenyatta came in and you couldn’t help the warmth spread across your chest, you saw Amalia’s eyes flicker to you for a moment before turning back to Zenyatta. Her words seemed to fail her but Zenyatta was quick to speak.

“I got her fever down,” he said and she nearly collapsed at the rest of the tension leaving her, “She’ll be wanting out of bed in the morning, just have her stay home for a few more days until the cough is completely gone.”

“Thank you,” she sighed with relief, getting up and leaving the room.

Zenyatta looked at the closed door before back at you, your hand holding out for him. He gave a cheerful hum before slipping his hand into yours, squeezing it and you melted at the touch you were aching for.

“I missed this,” you sighed, Zenyatta resting your hand and pressing his face against it in a mockery of a kiss, “I missed touching you.”

“As did I,” you smiled at how soft his voice was, the warmth of it spreading across your chest and making it ache.

You heard footsteps come down the stairs and you pulled back, hand resting in your lap and you felt your entire body burn. Zenyatta’s hand hovered there for a moment before slipping back into the other one.

You felt a stab of guilt at the hurt feeling radiating from him, you murmuring an apology just as Amalia came in. She rubbed her eyes with the palm of her hands, tears still freely streaming down them.

“I can’t possibly thank you enough,” Amalia said, looking at Zenyatta.

“There are no thanks necessary,” he said, “I am just happy to help.”

“You must be a saint.”

“I hardly think humans would be okay with that,” he quipped and you could tell he was smiling about his own joke.

You rolled your eyes and he just laughed loudly, surprising Amalia. You couldn’t help the smile that came with such a wonderful sound, your adoration for him slipping out onto your face for a moment.

“I should give you something though for all of this,” she said, “Give me a second.”

She scurried for a moment, opening cupboard and pulling out boxes that already made your stomach hurt. You hoped to be done with military rations but you couldn’t deny that they would be incredibly helpful in your journey.

“Here,” she handed them to you and you hesitantly put them in your bag, having eaten way too many in your life as you were sure anyone who grew up in the Crisis did.

“It will be useful for you,” Zenyatta added, seeing your apprehension.

“I know,” you said, “Thank you.”

She peered at you for a moment with her eyes flickering to Zenyatta, “May I speak to you for a moment.”

“Uhhh,” you gave a longing to look to Zenyatta for a moment, “Sure.”

You just followed after her, unsure of what you were doing with her. You didn’t know her house, the help you could do was very limited. She had you follow until the two of you were standing in a spot, you wondered if this was the moment where she was going to murder you.

“The two of you are dating aren’t you?” she asked and you just stared at her for a moment.

“Yes,” you said and she blinked at how blunt you were.

“Sorry if you thought I disapproved,” she said, “Though I may have before tonight.”

“Ah Scheisse,” she said, “I certainly didn’t want it to sound like that. I’ve learnt a lot today, I certainly needed to rethink my views on omnics.”

She sighed, murmuring under her breath, “You must think me a bigot.”

“I live in Numbani now,” you said, “It’s been a bit of a shock to remember how the rest of the world sees omnics.”

“It may not be right but I was not without cause to feel like that,” she said, “Or at least it used to feel like that.”

“I’ll let you go,” she said, stepping back, “thank you once again.”

“I did nothing,” you said before leaving, walking into the entrance way where Zenyatta was waiting.

“Let’s go,” you said, “There’s a whole world out there.”

“There is,” he said as the two of you left, you settling into that comfortable distance next to him.

You saw Zenyatta peering at you through the corner of your eye, feeling something akin to what he described as discord radiate from his. His hands opened and closed as if trying to squeeze themselves, falling short due to the metal.

A suspicion of what was bothering him filled your mind and you couldn’t help the stab of guilt. Your body ached as dark thoughts tried to overwhelm you, the urge to apologise growing stronger in you.

The night began to settle around the pair of you and you turned to Zenyatta, about to ask if he had any idea of where to sleep.

“I know someone who would sympathise with our situation,” he said before you could inquire, a bit curtly and you felt his words stab you.

Your heart just hurt but you followed him, wondering how you could have screwed up so much in the single day you got here.

Chapter 2: A few months ago

Notes:

Still not going to add any more chapters but I published this on tumblr so I figured I should add to the fic it's building on. This is for my own enjoyment, sorry about that.

Chapter Text

Zenyatta looked at Genji, who mostly refused to look at his master. His robot thumb twiddled around, a faint metallic ping came from the two of them hitting each other. He knew his pupil would break, whatever was eating him up would eventually come free.

“You know that I would not judge,” Zenyatta said, “you’ve told me so many other things, why is this the line?”

“This is different,” Genji responded, “I am ashamed.”

Zenyatta hummed, just waiting before Genji sighed, his hands tightening their grip on his knees. He lifted his face and Zenyatta saw the embarrassment flash across it before the cyborg’s chest heaved with breath.

“I love them,” he whispered, Zenyatta tilting his head in confusion.

“Who?”

“I’m sorry Master,” he said, his hands clenching with shame on the ground.

“Ah,” Zenyatta realised, his mind travelling to you and why he would feel ashamed of his feelings, “I suppose they are irresistible to Shimadas.”

“I would never act on it!”

I know,” Zenyatta said simply, ”I trust both of you.”

Zenyatta’s hand rested on Genji’s shoulder, squeezing it slightly. Genji smiled at Zenyatta, happy to have finally got that off of his chest so he could move on from yearning for you.


Genji practically skidded across the wood floor, desperately running towards the ringing phone. He didn’t even have to look at the name there to know it was Zenyatta, anticipating his master calling after confiding in him a few day ago about something worrying his master.

“Master?”

“Yes,” Zenyatta responded, “I would like to ask something.”

“What is it?” Genji couldn’t help the anticipation growing in him, wondering what Zenyatta would ask.

“Would you be interested in a poly relationship?” Zenyatta asked and Genji’s hand tightened, shattering the wood of the table under his hand.

“I’m sorry?”

Genji could hardly hold back the sigh of disbelief when Zenyatta told you his name, asking if you’d also like to date.

“You would need to ask them but I feel it’s better for you to do that, would you be willing?”

Genji’s legs gave out underneath him, head resting against the wall as so much swelled inside of him. For months he tried to move on squashing down any feelings he had and to hear Zenyatta just bluntly ask him if he would freely love you made his knees weak.

“Genji?”

“Yes,” he choked, “I would love to, I’ll talk to them when I get the chance to visit.”

“Thank you, I cannot give all they need,” Zenyatta said, “They deserve all the love they can get.”

The phone went silent and Genji just forced himself to breathe, his body aching with the urge to hold you. This was your decision in the end but Genji couldn’t help but hope, wondering how he could explain this to you.

Chapter 3: Chapter 2

Notes:

I no longer care about my writing so I might as well finish and publish this.

Chapter Text

You bristled at the dress fluttering around your legs, still unsure why you decided to wear this. You looked disgusting. Zenyatta had just seemed so down the last few days, making your chest ache whenever he looked forlornly at your hands.

Your hands squeezed into each other, nails biting into the skin. You didn’t even remember if you had any relationships before, none of which as poignant as the one you currently had with the omnic. It was all a bit beyond you, making your chest swirl with guilt.

“Zenny?” you asked, looking up at the omnic.

“Genji should be in the building up ahead,” he said, clearly not wanting to talk about it.

“Later then?” you said, “I need to explain myself.”

“Please?”

“Very well,” he responded before the two of you opened the door, seeing Genji talk with an omnic there with his mask off.

He brightened up at the sight of the pair of you, finishing his conversation. He waited towards you, warmth radiated from his being to pull Zenyatta into a hug. You stood there awkwardly, unsure of how to greet him but he reached over to pull you close. Zenyatta relaxed at your touch, feeling your hand gently trail down his back.

“I missed you both,” he finally said, pulling away.

“It has been a while, my student,” Zenyatta said, your hand still resting on his metal back.

Genji’s face softened when he saw you, you couldn’t help but smile when you saw him like that. He tapped your bare arm with a metal hand, you just smiling even more.

“That's a very pretty dress,” he said and you smiled, feeling your insecurities slip away.

“Thanks,” that giddy smile spread across you even more and a small pleased smile crossed his own.

Zenyatta radiated some sort of happiness and you felt confused, wondering what exactly had gotten into him. You were tempted to trap him in the corner to force him to listen to your explanation but the way Genji looked at you with soft eyes made your feet instinctively follow him.

Guilt flashed through you at the realization of just how pretty his dark eyes were, flashing with just so much life as he talked. He and Hanzo had that spark, though you had only seen it while Hanzo looked at you.

Though you suppose you didn't see Genji’s face too often.

You brushed these thoughts out of your head before focusing on the real problem. You knew your behaviour towards Zenyatta was inexcusable but you couldn't hold back the fear that they would hurt him if you were affectionate to him. Too many horror stories from your coworkers who slid out of the life that had had them still scared.

“How's the trip so far?” Genji asked and you looked at him, hands squeezing while you thought about it.

“A little tiring, I don't think I've adapted to the time zone yet,” you said, Genji getting a closer look at your face and the bags growing underneath them.

Zenyatta was right, Genji thought to himself, there was something taking a toll on your mind. He hoped you'd talk to him, already seeing you begin to shift away from Zenyatta with a nervous look around.

“Are you hungry?” Zenyatta asked as he looked at you, you gave a thoughtful hum before nodding and Zenyatta’s hands clapped together, “How about you and Genji get something to eat, I'll meet you later.”

Genji grasped your arm and walked ahead, you shot a look over your shoulder at Zenyatta to see him wave at you happily and you returned the wave with a smile. That anxious feeling stopped bubbling in your chest, feeling relief instead now.

“There is a good cafe near here,” Genji said, “Quiet with good food.”

“That sounds good,” you responded, your legs scurrying a little to keep up with his much faster ones and he led you through the bustling street.

He noticed the way you were struggling to keep up and he slowed down, matching his pace to yours.

“Sorry,” Genji said, you realizing his grip was still on your arm, “I wanted to get out of the crowd.”

“That's alright,” your eyes trailed across the older buildings with amazement, the smell of food mixing together and making your stomach growl.

“We are here,” Genji said, stopping in front of an innocuous building before letting go of your arm, seeming to realise the contact then.

The door jingled as you walked in, the room was beyond cool as you smelt the distinctive smell of baked goods here. Genji walked up to the counter, tapping the bell there and a ding rung out through the door shop. Your feet absentmindedly carried you toward Genji all while looking up at the menu above you, making note of what you would like to drink and eat.

Someone came out from what seemed to be a small kitchen, a smaller woman with greying hair coming out of her bun. Her aged eyes crinkled with happiness at the sight of you, moving to stand behind the counter.

“So you're finally back,” she mused, Genji smiling in return.

“I am,” he said, fingers tapping against the counter, “A green tea for me, what would you like?”

Genji turned to you and your eyes kept on the menu, quickly making a decision. Your belly gave a small gurgle at the desire to eat and you let the woman know what you wanted. You let Genji turn back to the woman as she looked between you before looking at her datapad.

She scribbled your orders against a pad, stylus moving with her hand. Her eyes flicked up to look at you, something resembling amusement crossing her face as she tilted her face.

“What's your name?” her eyes flickered between you and Genji, you realised what she was thinking as you introduced yourself at the proud way she looked at Genji.

“He's a real catch,” she winked as Genji just gave a smirk at her, leaning slightly on his hip.

“I sure am,” he said enthusiastically and you just groaned, a flitting mixture of embarrassment and guilt filling you.

You sat down at the table and waited, the old woman bringing out your drinks. Your fingers wrapped around the warm ceramics and that ache in your chest began to grow, your strength to hide to your pain on your face fading away and Genji immediately felt his chest throb with a painful ache at the way your face showed the pure distress floating around you.

His hand slid onto your wrist and squeezed it, giving a small mumble before softly asking, “Do you want to talk?”

You took a sip out of your mug, composing your thoughts and Genji felt his chest hurt with the clear rumble of emotion slipping across you. He could see when you had made a decision, seeing you lean back in the older wooden chair.

It creaked as you leant forward you looking at the swirling liquid before taking a deep breath.

“It’s hard to explain,” you picked at a piece of dead skin on the back of your hand, Genji just looking intently at you and squeezing your wrist gently.

“A part of me wishes that I was horribly depressed again,” you finally said.

“Please explain,” he said, his voice quiet as the two of you waited for the lady to put the sandwich down and Genji smiled up at her and you faked one as well.

You nibbled at the sandwich and Genji drank his tea, you picking out a slice of tomato to eat it by itself.

“It’s just,” you started, trying to figure out how to phrase it, “I don’t remember how it was like before being depressed, I don’t know how to deal with things anymore.”

You saw the way that Genji’s eyebrows pinched together with sympathy and you felt the anxiety build up inside of you at the way you were worrying him.

“I managed in Numbani,” you said, “There was a schedule, I mostly kept to myself, but here…”

“I start to worry and that makes me anxious,” you said, “Then I’ll pull back and that hurts Zenyatta and that makes me more anxious.”

“I’m scared people will leave me while I try to figure out what it’s like to feel again just… wanting to die seems like way less of a struggle than this.”

Genji just sat there in silence while you fought back the urge to cry, your eyes burning. You nibbled at your sandwich as best you could with your appetite gone, mostly unsure if you could deal with the fear of disappointing the kind woman who brought it to you. Your stomach ached as you got to the end, the taste of it gone despite really enjoying your first bite.

“I don’t know what to say,” he finally said, his thumb rubbing your wrist, “and maybe you’re right, some people may leave. There are terrible people everywhere and bad friends are easy to find.”

“I can’t even promise I won’t leave,” he said, “I doubt you’d believe it but from what I’ve spoken to Zenyatta about you, he wants to help.”

“I should have known he talked to you about this,” you said, finally putting down the crusts as you gave up.

“He didn’t tell me that,” he said, eyes widening a bit, “He is concerned about you though.”

“I should talk to him,” you sighed, looking at the dregs in your mug, “it’s just hard, it’s like he’s avoiding me.”

He gave a hum, you looking at him and starting to get the thought that he was hiding something from you. You just stared at him and Genji shuffled uncomfortably, his hands letting go of you to slip his fingers together.

“I have something to ask you,” he finally said softly, that spark in his eyes again as he looked over your face, “I think it should wait, at least until after you talk to Zenyatta about this.”

“Is it stressful,” you asked, leaning forward and he shook his head.

“Or at least not for you, mostly for me,” he said and you just nodded, getting up to pay when Genji grasped your sleeves with his hand.

“I paid her while you picked out the table,” he said, “let’s go find Zenyatta now.”

Chapter 4: Chapter 3

Chapter Text

You settled into the garden, feet kicking as your butt pressed against the cement of the wall. You leant back a bit, seeing the few stars that managed to still twinkle through the light pollution painting the city sky. You heard footsteps and you raised your head, about to smile at Genji and let him know that you just wanted some time alone. Those words froze in your chest as you noticed it was Zenyatta, walking on his feet for once.

You just stared at him, Zenyatta reaching over to have his fingers trail against the flowers high in the tree. Some petals floated down but he just pulled off a blossom, sitting down next to you and pulling back some of your hair behind your ear. He tucked it into the hair and your chest ached, his touch so tender against your cheek as he slowly shifted towards you. His hand slipped into yours, squeezing it as your fingers slipped past his and held it tightly.

"Is this a cherry blossom?" you asked, looking up at the tree.

"Peach I believe," he said and you held back the flash of embarrassment at that assumption, figuring you needed to stop watching so much anime.

His head turned to look at you, his blue eyes staring right through you. Adoration filled you and you shifted over to rest your head against his shoulder. His arm wrapped around your waist and you just enjoyed how close he was, wondering how long it had been since he held you like this.

"You wanted to talk?" Zenyatta's voice was soft, you taking a deep breath.

"Yeah," you said, reluctantly pushing yourself off of him to stare at your hand gently held by his metal one.

A moment of silence passed over the pair of you as you took a deep breath, trying to find the words before starting what you said. Despite how frantic you were to pull him aside, feeling if you could just talk about it, you didn't know where to even start with the massive problem in front of you.

It was probably easiest to start with an apology.

"I'm sorry," your voice was soft but Zenyatta just gave a hum, squeezing your hand a bit more as he waited for you to elaborate.

"I don't know how not to be depressed," you confessed, Zenyatta giving a pained noise, "I want to be happy and shower you with affection but a part of me is scared people will hurt you or that it isn't good enough and you'll leave. I wish I could be a better person but I just don't remember how to."

"I'm going to be a bit honest here," he said, almost as if he didn't want to and you felt anxiety begin to grow in your throat at the possibility of him breaking things off with you, "I think you are still a little depressed."

That feeling grew from your throat to your chest, seizing up everything in an aching pain. You gripped his hand a bit tighter and he squeezed it back hoping that he could wipe away all the distress radiating off of you. You felt his forehead rest against yours and you gave a bit of a sob, trying to hold back tears as you realised that he was right.

"Not to the extent you were before but I think this will always be your struggle," tears slipped out of your eyes as he said that, you pulling even closer to cry against his chest.

"I don't want this," you finally said, a choking sob trembling your voice, "I thought I was better, I want to be better."

"I want you to be better as well but you should know that this is your battle," his free hand gently brushed away the tears streaming down your face.

"I hate this," you looked away, pulling away the blossom to stare at it, "I thought I was free but it turns out it was hiding behind me all along, dogging me forever."

Your body began to shake as your throat clenched up, Zenyatta pulling you close and you eased into his tender embrace. His hand rubbed your back as you rested a hand on the metal. His entire body began to rumble as he hummed, exhaustion filling you with the pure emotion that faded away. He still kept humming that tune, you realised that he was letting small amounts of Nepali slip through the melody.

Your eyes closed and you fell asleep like that, barely aware of much beyond being lifted and put into a bed with metal fingers brushing against your forehead. Zenyatta hummed adoration for you as you slipped back to sleep, the blanket shifting up as he tucked you in.


You woke up, panic filling you as you realised how late it was at the light travelling up the wall. You pushed yourself up, legs whirling as you got up. You gave a groan as you body ached from sleeping in your clothes, pushing the door open to see Genji - poorly - cooking something on the stove of the apartment he was renting. You looked at him and he gave a wave, two fingers moving from his forehead in a mock salute.

"Morning," he said, you slowly walking over to him and sitting down, "Zenyatta had to leave but he said to let you sleep in."

You gave a soft 'oh' as he put a mess of scrambled eggs in front of you. You hesitantly poked at it with a fork he gave you, Genji sitting down at the table with his hand resting under his chin. You scooped some up and despite the crunch as you found an eggshell, it was at least passable. His mask slowly slid off and that look was in his eyes again, you unsure of why your chest tightened at the sight of him.

This is how I feel about Zenyatta, you realised and the fork shook a little at that realisation.

His eyebrows pinched together in worry and you shook that feeling aside, taking another bite out of the eggs. You wondered if Genji had much experience in cooking, it made sense that he wouldn't have done it at all as a child living in such an opulent family.

"You okay to have that talk?" Genji asked and you gave a slight jumped, remembering what he said yesterday.

You ate the last of the eggs, wondering if you could handle it. You rested the fork against the plate with a small dink, pushing it away and looking at his deep brown eyes. You gave a nod, deciding to trust him when he said it wouldn't be stressful.

His hand slowly and carefully reached over the table, grasping your hand as your chest filled up with some sort of bubbly feeling while that same spark you had seen before washed over his eyes. Genji gave a soft smile, hand squeezing yours.

"I suppose I should start here," he said, you giving a confused noise, "I came to realise that I loved you."

You gave a small noise, your heart clenching as he squeezed your hand.

"It filled me with guilt, you and my master were so in love and it felt wrong to intrude onto that," Genji tried to slip his hand away but you just tightened your grip, his face going faintly red, "I confided to Zenyatta, he said that he trusted me."

You felt a bit alone, not even realising that this turmoil had happened about you. A pained feeling crossed your face and he was quick to squeeze your hand, immediately trying to reassure you.

"I want to ask whether you would like to include me in your relationship," he said, you just looking at him with a blank expression, "I would never go between you and Zenyatta but if you're okay with it I would like to date you alongside Zenyatta."

"I don't know," you said and he just smiled at you, "I've never even considered something like this, I have come to realise that I care for you the same as I do Zenyatta but that doesn't necessarily mean a relationship could happen."

He just smiled and squeezed your hand, your chest aching again, "Take your time to think about it, we can slowly push the boundaries if you want."

"I would like that," you said, "I'd like to see if it's possible if Zenyatta is okay with it."

"I already discussed it with him, he said it was up to your discretion," Genji said, his metal thumb trailing against your palm, "I can let him know that you want to test the waters first."


Zenyatta gently brushed your hair with his metal fingers, careful to not get it stuck in the delicate intricacies of his fingers. He folded in a flower he picked, you giving a happy sigh as Genji pulled you even closer from his grip around your waist. His face pressed into your stomach, giving happy murmurs as he felt your fingers brush through his black hair.

That small sliver of fear filled you, that the two of them would walk away without any more adoration for you. You pushed that feeling aside, deciding to revel in the happiness that they had brought right now rather than focus on a future that may never happen.

Genji's dark eyes flickered up at you at the way your stomach tensed, you just smiling down at him before brushing a kiss against his forehead.

"I think I can do this," you finally said, your other hand moving to rest on Zenyatta's thigh, "I want to do this."

"I'm happy," Genji said as he pulled himself even closer, Zenyatta giving a  happy hum for you.

You leant back again, Zenyatta's fingers still in your hair and slowly pulling your hair together into a style. You just looked at Zenyatta, happy that the two of them would love you even if it was for a short while.

Notes:

I don't care about my writing anymore so you're getting the full amount. I just don't care so whatever.

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