Archive of Our Own ^beta

“You can’t boss me around just because you have the faintest idea of how the world works.”

Todomatsu clenched his fists, scowling at Choromatsu. He wasn’t in the mood to argue with his older brother, but he was really starting to piss him off, and he felt compelled to let him know that.

“Oh, really?” Todomatsu challenged. “Then why is it okay for you to do the exact same thing to me?”

“Because, Todomatsu, I am the older brother here.” Choromatsu crossed his arms over his chest, speaking with an air of authority that made Todomatsu want to strangle him. “I should be the one giving you advice, not the other way around.”

“I was only trying to help you!” Todomatsu protested indignantly. “You have a job interview tomorrow, so I just thought I would give you a few tips on what to expect. Don’t forget, I have been holding down a job for a few months now, so I know a thing or two about employment.”

“I know that, Totty. You don’t let a day go by where you don’t remind us that you have a job of your own,” Choromatsu said through gritted teeth. “But anyway, you work in a coffee shop. Not exactly an executive position. I’m applying for an office job and that requires a different set of skills than…”

“You mean an office job, like the one you had before?” Todomatsu countered. “Right, you got that job on your own. And look how well that went for you.”

Choromatsu balked, unable to mask the hurt on his face, and Todomatsu immediately felt a wave of shame wash over him. Yes, Choromatsu was irritating as hell and had been getting on his nerves, but that had been a much lower blow than he’d intended, knowing how sensitive Choromatsu was about losing the only job he’d ever had. Todomatsu drew in a deep breath and attempted to start over.

“Okay...I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” He dropped his gaze to the tabletop between them. “That went too far. But I really did want to help you. Otherwise I wouldn’t have approached you.”

“It’s okay,” Choromatsu said slowly, with a dejected sigh. “I’m sorry, too. I know it wasn’t your intention to be bossy...but I guess I just felt kind of embarrassed, having my little brother give me life advice. It should be the other way around, shouldn’t it, with me passing my wisdom on to you?”

“You’re starting to sound like Osomatsu here,” Todomatsu quipped drily. “We’re the same age, you don’t have to act like your years older and wiser than me.”

“I know...I guess it really is instinct to act that way,” Choromatsu confided. “But...look, I know I don’t act that way, but I really do know I’m not better than the rest of you. I know I have a lot of faults and that I get on everyone’s nerves, saying I’m responsible and that I have what it takes to get a job...but it’s still hard for me to ask for help or accept it when someone offers, because I want to be able to do it on my own. I want to be the dependable, mature one, even if I’m really not.”

 “Okay, I get that. But don’t you think that part of being mature is listening to people if they think they might be able to help you, instead of pushing them away and acting stubborn?” Todomatsu implored.  

Choromatsu was quiet, not meeting Todomatsu’s gaze, and Todomatsu knew he’d struck a chord.

“Choro, listen. I know how you feel. We’re more alike than you might think,” Todomatsu went on with more compassion. “We both want to get out into the world and achieve big things, but it’s not easy. I know I don’t have a whole lot of experience, and it’s just at a coffee shop, but maybe I can still give you a hand. Will you let me?”

Choromatsu hesitated, shifting positions slightly. Then, slowly, he nodded. “All right...if you have some pointers that you think might help me tomorrow, I’d appreciate hearing them.”

Todomatsu smiled a little. “Okay. So, first thing’s first. You aren’t going to impress anyone if you don’t act like you have confidence in yourself. You might be all talk with us, building yourself up, but I know when it comes to actually talking to other people...you can be kind of shy. You can’t let yourself be that way, you need to project and show the world you aren’t afraid of it.”

“Okay...but how do I do that when I’m so nervous? Because that’s always a big problem of mine...getting so nervous I can barely talk,” Choromatsu confessed.

“This is easier said than done, but try to tell yourself you know this person already, that you’ve said these things a hundred times before and are confident in your skills, but that you just need to sell yourself one last time to get it,” Todomatsu advised. “If you act like you own it, that you aren’t afraid and that you have a shot, it becomes a lot easier. That’s what it was like when I had my interview for Sutaba, I just told myself that I’d been here dozens of times and shouldn’t worry too much because I really felt like I was a good fit for the job. And it worked.”  

“That makes sense, actually,” Choromatsu mused. “So...it’s not quite ‘fake it ‘til you make it’, but just telling yourself you have what it takes to make it? Kind of like that?”

“That’s a good way to put it. Just don’t let them intimidate you, because then you’ll get too freaked out to do well. It’s hard, but I think you can do it.”

“You really think so?” Choromatsu sounded uncertain. “I mean, I kind of tend to let my anxiety take over too much...what if I can’t pull it off?”

“Then you keep trying and practicing until you do,” Todomatsu stated. “Even if it doesn’t work tomorrow, it will one day.”

“If you’re sure...I’ll try my best. Thanks for the advice. I guess you really do know a thing or two about this.”

“Don’t underestimate me just because I’m your little brother, Choromatsu-niisan,” Todomatsu responded wryly. “But I’m glad if I can help. If you want, maybe I could even go with you, for moral support.”

Choromatsu’s eyes widened with surprise. “Wait, you’d really do that for me?”

“Well, sure. Face it, Choro--you’re a wreck under pressure. Maybe having someone there would help you keep your cool.”

Choromatsu gave him an irritated glare at first, but he couldn’t protest this fact. “I hate agreeing to that, but you’re right. And maybe having someone there with me would help, if you’re really willing to...thank you, Totty.”

“No problem. Maybe we can get coffee together afterward. Or there’s this new tea house that just opened up that I’ve been dying to go to.”

“And let my guess, if I get the job you’re hoping I’ll pay for it, right?” Choromatsu asked with one eyebrow raised.

“Well, if you’re offering…” Todomatsu smiled winningly.

Choromatsu could only hold his serious facade for so long before cracking it with a chuckle. “Fair enough. But only if I get the job. And I’d better, after taking your advice.”

“Don’t worry about it, you will,” Todomatsu assured him optimistically. “And if not, there’s always next time.”