Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“So, any brilliant plans-” Bucky began.

“No, Buck,” Steve said tiredly. “Nothing’s changed in the last two minutes.”

When he had been thrown into the cell, he had tried every possible escape route he could think of. But there were no windows, he couldn’t bend the bars even with his super strength, and the short chain they tethered him with kept him from exploring the walls for weak spots. After an hour of struggling against his shackles, he was forced to concede defeat. This was a problem that would require a lot of tactical planning instead of brute strength. But Bucky’s restless shifting in the next cell over and constant questioning kept disrupting his focus.

“Sorry,” Bucky said. “Hydra just makes me antsy. Fucking cold-ass dungeon. You just know they’re up to some crazy shit down here.”

“I know, Buck,” Steve said. “But I promise you we’ll get out of here.”

He couldn’t blame Bucky for feeling anxious about being back in Hydra’s clutches. If they were in the same cell, he’d be holding his lover in his arms and comforting him. If they were in the same cell, they’d have a better chance of escape. But Hydra was nothing if not thorough.

“No bright ideas, though?”

“Not at the moment,” Steve said, glancing up at the rocky ceiling. “Not even I can punch my way through solid stone.”

“So, what? We just wait for Coulson to notice we haven’t checked in for our mission and send the team looking for us?”

“Might have to,” Steve said with a sigh. He hated waiting for a rescue. It reminded him of being small and weak, of everyone having to protect him and take care of him because he wasn’t strong enough to look after himself. “We’ll try again in the morning.”

“Lame as fuck,” Bucky said. The scrape of his chains and a quiet huff carried through the stone. “How the fuck am I supposed to sleep in this dump? It’s cold, it’s damp, and I don’t care what they think, this is a fucking canvas bag, not a bed.”

“We’ve had worse,” Steve reminded him.

“Sure, but you were with me then.”

“I’m still here,” Steve said. “Right on the other side of this wall.” He traced a hand over the stone. Things would be a lot easier if he could hold Bucky in his arms and feel his warmth, but they’d have to make do for the night.

“So, this is it then? We’re calling it a night?”

“Unless you have a better idea,” Steve shot back. He was tired, he was frustrated, and he felt sure that once they were rested and looking at the problem with new eyes, they’d find a way out.
“There’s a problem with this plan of yours. How the hell will be able to tell it’s morning? We’re in a fucking dungeon, Steve. A fucking dungeon.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Steve eyed the torches in the corridor outside their cell. It was positively medieval and he really hoped that wasn’t a sign of what was to come. Since they hadn’t been killed on sight, they were most likely going to be tortured for information.

“So-”

“Just try to get some sleep,” Steve said with a heavy sigh.

Bucky grumbled and there was a lot of heavy clanging and jingling, probably as he shifted around to try and get in a good position to sleep. The length of the chains really didn’t make it easy to get comfortable. Steve found it difficult just trying to lie down.

“Well, fine,” Bucky said. “But soon as I wake up, your ass is getting up and getting back to work getting us out of here.”

“Of course I am,” Steve muttered as he settled himself on the thin scrap of fabric Hydra had afforded him as bedding.

But surprisingly, he woke up not to Bucky’s grumbling, but what sounded like a distant explosion and the shouts of several guards.

“What the hell is going on?” Bucky demanded.

“I’m not-wait, that sounded like Tony!” At the far range of his enhanced hearing, he could hear Tony spitting curses at Hydra. It seemed really early for a rescue. They had technically only been off the grid for a few hours. But he wasn’t going to complain. The sooner they got out of the dungeon and blew the Hydra base sky-high, the better.

As the shouting got closer, Steve’s heart dropped as he realized he wasn’t hearing Iron Man’s modulated voice, but pure Tony. This wasn’t good.

Abruptly, the door to Steve’s cell opened and Tony was shoved inside, sans armor.

“Oh, hey, Cap,” Tony said with a strained smile. “Fancy running into you down here.”

“Where’s the rest of the team?” Steve asked.

Tony shrugged. “Still asleep, probably. It’s only 2 a.m. you know. But Coulson might have mentioned you were late for your daily check-in so I followed the trackers in your comms here.” He scratched the side of his head. “Didn’t expect a Hydra base in the middle of Switzerland. That seemed really unlikely.”

Steve folded his arms over his chest. “What have I told you about going in without backup?”

“What was I supposed to do?” Tony demanded. “Just sit there twiddling my thumbs?”

“You should have asked Coulson about the mission. He would have told you to take back-up. Hydra is too dangerous for anybody to take out on their own.”

“Oh yeah? Then what the hell are you doing here by yourself? Rules don’t apply to you?”

“He’s with me, Stark,” Bucky said fiercely.

“Buck?” Tony looked around the cell wildly.

“He’s next door,” Steve said. “They separated us.”

“Oh, so they just happened to have two super soldier-proof jail cells. How convenient. Ever think maybe this whole thing was a set-up?”

Steve frowned. “It’s possible.”

According to SHIELD’s intel, the base was supposed to be relatively small, specializing in the manufacture of chemical weapons that needed to be neutralized before they were used against the public. Nothing was mentioned about an underground dungeon.

“Since they actually bothered to take us prisoner, I suspect they were after Barnes the whole time,” Tony said. “Looking to reclaim their soldier.”

Bucky let out a low growl. “I’d like to see them try. I won’t make it easy on them this time around.”

“Neither will I,” Steve said. He’d die before he let Hydra put their hands on Bucky again.

“Hell no,” Tony said. “I’ll kick their asses. And so will the rest of the team once they show up.”

“Which could take days,” Bucky said with a gusty sigh.

Sadly, Bucky was probably right. It would take almost a full day after they went missed their check-ins for SHIELD to actually send out a rescue party. Sometimes missions got a little more complicated than originally expected and check-ins got delayed or missed. Sending the whole Avengers team in at the first sign of trouble was overkill.

“You have no faith in me, do you?” Tony said with an eye roll. “Okay, so maybe I should have taken Nat with me instead of coming on my own, but I did leave the tracking algorithm up and let Jarvis know where I was going. So, as soon as the team wakes up, they should be mounting a rescue attempt.”

Steve didn’t think it would be that simple, but he was relieved Tony had had some kind of plan instead of just charging blindly into danger. With the tracking algorithm, the rest of the team would be able to find them easier.

“Great,” Bucky said. “But I’d rather get the fuck out of here instead of waiting for the team to show up and rescue us. So why don’t you two geniuses work something out?”

Steve lifted his chin and gestured to the far wall with a head tilt. “Take a look around, Tony. Anywhere I can’t reach with these shackles.”

Tony pressed a button on his watch, illuminating the whole cell in a soft glow. “Seems pretty structurally sound,” he said as he did a slow circuit of the room. “Place looks old as shit, but nothing’s crumbling to bits, unfortunately. Probably just made to look old. Everyone would immediately suspect this big modern building of being some kind of base. But this old fucking building? Not as likely.”

“Seems to be a familiar tactic,” Steve said. He recalled the SHIELD bunker hidden in his old basic training camp.

“So, the bars are a possibility,” Tony said.

Steve shook his head. “Can’t get a good grip on ‘em with these shackles.” He demonstrated, hooking his fingers around the one bar he could reach and tugging on it as hard as he could.

Tony huffed and continued working his way along the wall over to where Steve was bound.

Steve grinned up at Tony as he stood over him and fiddled with the shackles. Bucky was going to be so jealous. Chances for getting up close and personal with the genius were few and far between. But at the moment, Tony was practically straddling him and he could see a thin stripe of Tony’s abs where his shirt rode up.

“Any ideas?”

Tony tapped where the chains were attached to the wall. “How much leverage do you have on these babies?”

Steve pulled on the chains with all he had.

Tony hummed thoughtfully and examined the wall connection. “Is Bucky’s cell set up just like yours?”

“No idea,” Steve said. “They had us blindfolded and separated before they threw us in here.”

“Well, if Bucky’s cell is set up just like yours, it should just be a matter of-”

“Quiet. Someone’s coming,” Bucky hissed.

Tony dropped into a fighting crouch. “Bring them on. I can take them.”

“I don’t think so,” Steve said. He could hear multiple footsteps. Way too many men for Tony to take on his own, especially without his armor.

“Don’t be silly,” Tony said. “I’ve got the brains and you got the brawn. Let’s kill all the bad guys.”

“Tony, you-“

“No, seriously,” Tony said. “I sass them until they walk in to teach me a lesson, you strangle them with your chains, we steal the guards’ keys and then freedom.”

“You’ve been watching too much TV,” Bucky muttered. “Now be quiet. They’re almost here.”

Steve held his breath, but the sounds of footsteps slowed just short of his cell.

“Fuck you, assholes,” Bucky snarled. The chains rattled as presumably, Bucky lunged at them.

Someone laughed. It wasn’t a nice sound. It was mocking and full of smug superiority. Back in his day, Steve would have immediately punched anyone who laughed at Bucky like that. The impulse was still there. He could already feel his hands curling into fists. But he had to be smarter now. He couldn’t just punch his way out of every problem. He needed a plan to get them all out in one piece.

“Who is it?” Tony demanded, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Any dipshit we know?”

Steve glared at Tony. Was it really too much to ask that he not throw himself headfirst into every conflict?

“Ah, Mr. Stark, so nice of you to join us.” The footsteps started again and a squad of Hydra soldiers came into view, flanking a tall, imposing figure in a lab coat.

Tony folded his arms over his chest. “So, what’s the grand evil scheme this time? You villains are always the talkative types. So, go on, get it out of your system.”

Steve rolled his eyes and nudged Tony with a foot. He better not still be counting on that stupid scheme of his. With his arms shackled, Steve didn’t like their odds in a fight.

“You’re right,” the man said, with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I had a great plan to defeat Captain America and his loyal sidekick once and for all. I’d love to tell you all about it.” He gestured to one of his men and they brought forward a small cushion with two syringes lying on top.

The scientist tapped one syringe. “This formula is specially designed to turn any man into a slavering beast. And it would be so satisfying to watch your captain and his best friend destroy each other. But then you came along and plans had to change.” He glanced up from the syringe with a wide grin. “So, you, Mr. Stark, will take their place.”

Tony stiffened. “What?” he choked out.

“Oh, yes,” the scientist said with another smug laugh. “I really must thank you. There’s a question of how well my formula will work on enhanced individuals. But I have no doubt it will work on you. Especially with your history with Mr. Barnes here. I bet there’s still so much anger simmering under the surface, just waiting for the freedom to act.”

“No, it’s not like that,” Tony said. His eyes anxiously flicked to Steve. “I forgave him.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” the scientist said with an offhand gesture to the men to take the syringe back. “But we shall see what happens when you’re a mindless beast.” His eyes flicked over to Steve. “It’s a pity you won’t be able to watch your best friend be torn limb from limb, but there’s a certain satisfaction to having your mind conjure up the horrors while you listen to him scream.” He clapped his hands. “Gentlemen, let’s prepare our monster.”

“No, no, no!” Tony yelped. He darted back to the far corner of the cell.

“I’m not letting you do this to him,” Steve growled. He tripped the first two soldiers that stepped into the cell.

“You have no choice, Captain.”

The next batch of soldiers came right for Steve and while he was busy fending them off, three more men cornered Tony against the far wall and started dragging him out of the cell.

“Tony!” Steve shouted. He kicked the nearest man out of the way and reached desperately for Tony. He got a hand on the back of Tony’s shirt, but it wasn’t nearly enough for a good grip and the genius was pulled out of his grasp and out of the cell.

Tony’s shouts faded out of earshot all too quickly and Steve slumped back against the wall with a cry of despair. God, he had failed. And now the two people he loved most were probably going to die.

Chapter Text

The wait was the hardest part. It could have been minutes, but it felt like hours pressed up against the wall of the cell, desperately whispering reassurances to Bucky that they were going to get out of this somehow.

It was hard to stay positive when the scientist kept making appearances just to taunt them while his team were prepping Tony for the transformation.

To Steve, he said, "I can only imagine what kind of creature Mr. Stark will become. A bear, a wolf, a tiger, perhaps even a lion. I got a different result in each of my test subjects. And each creature will murder your friend in its own way."

To Bucky, he said, "The transformation process can take up to an hour. You could strike first, while he's still mid-transformation. It'd be a simple matter of wrapping that chain around his neck and strangling him."

"Fuck no," Bucky growled. "If anybody dies today, it's gonna be you."

"Suit yourself," the scientist said indifferently. "It would be so satisfying to see you wipe out the last of the Starks. But I'll wait until he takes out you and the Captain, let him see what he's done, and then put him out of his misery."

"Fucking asshole," Bucky snarled. "Just wait till I get my hands on you. You'll wish your whole organization had never been born."

"Almost time now," the scientist said cheerfully. He leaned over to look into Steve's cell. "Say a last goodbye to your best friend and prepare your imagination."

"Bucky," Steve said anxiously as the scientist's steps faded out.

"It's okay, Stevie. I'm not gonna fight him."

"Don't say that," Steve hissed. "I'm not letting you die here."

"What do you want me to do? Kill him so I can live? I can't do that. I don't want any more innocent blood on my hands."

"I don't want you to kill him. I just want you to fight him off long enough to survive. He talked about wanting Tony to see our bodies so the stuff has to wear off eventually, right? Please, Buck, just promise you'll hold on until Tony comes back to himself."

"Okay," Bucky said with a gusty sigh. "It's not gonna be easy, but I'll try not to hurt him."

"That's all I'm asking, babe," Steve said. "I love you."

"Love you, too."

It could be the last time they exchanged those words, Steve knew. He squeezed his eyes shut as the sound of footsteps returned.

"Fuckin' motherfuckers," Tony muttered. "Not doin' it. Ow, ow, ow. No, don't yank on that. Still hurts."

God, he sounded so weak. He sounded barely conscious. But he was still fighting. Tony to the end.

The door to Bucky's cell opened with a heavy rattle.

"Holy shit!" Bucky exclaimed. "Tony, are you okay?"

"What? What'd they do to him?" Steve asked anxiously.

His only answer was an inhuman shriek of pain that made the hairs stand up on the back of Steve's neck. After the scream faded, it was replaced with growls and snarls and the jingle of the chains.

"Bucky!" Steve shouted, desperately yanking on his chains. The metal was unyielding and all he was doing was slicing into his wrists. But he didn't care. He'd willingly cut off both hands if it would save Bucky's life.

Steve caught his breath as everything went silent. Was this really it? Somehow, knowing Bucky might be dying just a few feet away was even worse than watching him fall from the train.

"Oh," Bucky said finally. "Oh wow."

"Damnit, Buck. What's going on over there?" Steve demanded. "Are you hurt? Is Tony hurt?"

"No, we're cool. I mean, other than that fuckwit turning Tony part cat. That looked like it hurt like hell. But it's all over and he doesn't seem like he's in any pain now."

"Back up," Steve said. "Part cat?"

He could hear the smug grin in Bucky's voice. "Yep. Ears, tail, the works. He's adorable as hell, Stevie. Not the kind of beast that would rip me limb from limb, that's for sure." He snickered. "Fucking moron screwed up big time."

Steve chuckled and relaxed back against the wall. It was such a relief to know that both Bucky and Tony were okay. "So, now that we've all survived that dumb scheme, let's work on getting out of here before our friend tries something else. Tony, you want to take a look around Bucky's cell while you're still free?"

"I don't think he understands. His brain might be part cat, too."

Steve frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Pretty damn. He's rolling on his back and batting at my chains."

Steve sighed. He was still confident the transformation could be reversed with Bruce's help, but it would be a lot harder if Tony didn't understand what was going on.

"Well, go on, darling," Bucky said with a chuckle. "You can sit in my lap if you want."

"Bucky," Steve said sternly.

"What? He wants to sit in my lap, I ain't stopping him."

"He has the brain of a cat, Bucky. You shouldn't be flirting with him, especially when he can't consent."

"I know that. You think I'm trying to jump him in here? Please. Give me a little credit. But if he could consent…" Bucky made a practically pornographic sound. "He's always been hot as hell, but just wait till you get a look at him, Stevie. He's goddamn gorgeous."

"He's part cat, Buck. That's borderline bestiality."

"You'll change your mind when you see him. Just get your ass in here, Stevie."

"I'm trying," Steve growled. He braced his feet against the wall. "Just have to get the right leverage." He tugged as hard as he could and the plate on the wall gave an encouraging creak.

"Oh, we heard that," Bucky said. "Come on, baby. Put some muscle into it."

Steve took a deep breath and wrapped a length of chain around his arms, pulling it as short as he could. The metal was biting into his arms again. He was definitely going to walk out with cuts and lacerations all over him. But being able to walk out of the place was the important part.

With a final wrenching groan, a chunk of the wall gave way and Steve tumbled backwards.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head," Bucky said in a low, soothing tone. "Stevie's coming to save us."

Steve dusted himself off and stood up to survey the damage. There was a nice sized hole in the wall now. It would be a tight squeeze, but he could definitely get through to Bucky's cell.

He peered through the hole. He could see Bucky sitting on the floor of the cell, which brought a relieved smile to his face immediately. Knowing Bucky was still alive wasn't nearly as satisfying as seeing the proof for himself.

It took a moment for him to register that Tony was sprawled across Bucky's lap. Bucky really hadn't been kidding when he said Tony was part cat. From this angle, Steve could see ears on the top of the genius' head and a long black tail coming out from the back of his jeans.

"Oh wow," Steve said. He took a tentative step into Bucky's cell, unable to take his eyes off Tony.

Tony's head jerked up from Bucky's lap and he stared at Steve with wide, luminous golden eyes. His whiskers twitched and then something like recognition flickered over Tony's face. He let out a trilling purr and relaxed back into Bucky's lap.

"Told you," Bucky said smugly. He scratched under Tony's chin with one metal finger. "You're a gorgeous little thing, aren't you?"

Tony purred louder and leaned into Bucky's touch.

"He's beautiful," Steve said. Tony had always been beautiful, of course, but his new feline features only accentuated his lithe form.

"You want to draw him, don't you?" Bucky said with a smirk.

"Of course, I do."

It was really a pity that Tony wasn't fully aware of himself. Steve could just imagine Tony standing in front of his computer, his tail twitching absently as he worked. Oh well. He was sure cat Tony would do something just as adorable and he could sketch that instead.

"Let's get the hell out of here then," Bucky said. "We're lucky as shit that asshole didn't stick around to watch, but I ain't pressing our luck."

"He probably has cameras in here somewhere," Steve said. "He'd want to watch every angle of the tragedy at once." He couldn't see any cameras with a cursory glance, but they'd probably be tiny.

"Up and at 'em, doll," Bucky said. He shifted his weight forward.

Tony made a displeased sound as he picked his way off Bucky's lap and got to his feet.

Steve stared down at Tony. "Wow, I didn't realize he had gotten so much smaller. He can't be more than five feet now." Tony's t-shirt was adorably big on him now, just how Steve had envisioned it would look if he had worn one of his or Bucky's shirts.

"Ha," Bucky said. "Fearsome monster, my ass. Couldn't be less threatening unless he was an ordinary house cat." He ruffled Tony's hair. "We're just a cute little thing, aren't we, sugar?"

Steve elbowed Bucky. "Come on. Stop touching Tony and help me with your chains."

"I can't help it. This may be the only chance I get to put my hands on him and I'm damn well taking the opportunity."

"I'm going to laugh when Tony remembers every second of this once he's back to normal."

Bucky stuck out his tongue. "So what? We're asking him out eventually anyway. This will just be proof I'd be a good, attentive boyfriend." He scratched Tony under the chin. "I'd take such good care of you, sweetheart. Take you someplace nice for dinner then take you home for dessert."

Steve snorted. "Real smooth, Buck."

Bucky shrugged. "So my seduction skills are a little rusty. But that just means you and I need to get some practice in."

Steve was pretty sure they'd need more than a little practice if they had any chance of getting Tony to date them, but there was no harm in trying, he supposed. "Sure, Buck," he said with a fond smile. "You and I haven't had a date night in awhile and-"

"You idiot!" a voice thundered from outside the cell.

All three of them jumped.

"Oh shit," Bucky said. "I'm sorry, Steve. I didn't even hear him walk up."

"Neither did I."

Bucky's face twisted with misery. "I should have listened. You told me to focus on getting out of here and-"

The cell door opened with a clang and the scientist stormed in, flanked by two soldiers.

"You are a disgrace," the scientist said, pointing an accusing finger at Tony. "You've ruined everything I've worked for. But one way or another, I will make you kill your friends."

"Hell no," Bucky said. "You're not taking him again." He wrapped his arms around Tony.

"Seize him," the scientist ordered.

Tony hissed and bared his teeth at the men. Bucky tried valiantly to hold on to him and keep him shielded, but Tony was out of his grasp and charging at the men. He raked his claws across the face of the nearest man, gouging out one of his eyes. While the first man was screaming in pain, Tony bit the hand of the second guard. And then he launched himself at the scientist, tackling him to the ground and ripping out his throat.

"Holy shit," Bucky said. "I take back everything I said."

Tony sat down on the scientist's body and delicately started licking the blood off his hands.

"No, no, no," Steve said quickly. "Those men are dirty." He ripped a strip off his shirt and knelt down beside Tony to wipe his hands.

Tony purred happily and leaned up to butt his head against Steve's shoulder.

"That was hot as hell, but I'm so glad he's on our side," Bucky said. He wiped a little blood off Tony's cheek.

"Tony's a smart cat," Steve said. "He won't just attack anybody. We meant him no harm so he was friendly to us. But he probably remembers that this guy did something to hurt him."

Bucky strained against his chains. "Give me a hand, Stevie. We've got to get out of here before the rest of the troops show up."

Steve reached for the length of chain and tugged in tandem with Bucky. Tony scrambled away as debris from the wall crumbled down, but he quickly circled back, winding himself tightly around Bucky.

"Yeah, doll," Bucky said cheerfully. "My hands are freed up just for you. How about I carry you out of this joint in style?"

Tony squeaked in surprise as Bucky lifted him off the ground and he quickly grabbed at Bucky's shoulders.

"Easy, easy," Bucky said. "I've got you." He wrapped his arms firmly around Tony's chest.

"I'll go grab our gear," Steve said. "Meet you topside in five, next to the transport." He paused just outside the cell door. "You going to be okay on your own?"

Bucky snorted derisively. "Are you kidding me? I have Tony. Anybody tries to give me shit and Tony'll rip them to pieces."

Steve smiled. "I hope he remembers that part and rubs it in my face later how well he fought without his suit."

"If he doesn't, I'll tell him myself," Bucky said gleefully. He leaned in close to press a kiss to Steve's cheek. "Start running, sugar. Stay alive long enough for this to be a happy memory for all of us."

Steve nodded and took off down the hallway. Behind him, he could hear Bucky running in the opposite direction. In front of him, he could hear the shouts of soldiers in the distance.

Time to buy his two favorite people a distraction.

Chapter Text

“And stay down,” Steve growled as one soldier finally crumpled to the floor after three punches

He had forgotten how annoying it was to fight without his shield. Punching Hydra agents in the face, while satisfying, was a huge time suck. If he had had his shield, or any weapon at all really, he could have taken out the whole group at once.

Bucky was going to give him hell later for taking so long, he just knew it. Probably tell him he needed to brush up on his hand to hand skills before he criticized Tony’s combat training. Well, maybe he was a hypocrite, but he just wanted to make sure Tony could look after himself in case his suit malfunctioned.

Realistically, he probably wasn’t doing too badly for himself. He was probably fighting against every single soldier in the compound, it felt like. But if they were all going after him, at least Bucky and Tony would get out safely.

Steve finally kicked the last soldier out of the way and sighed with relief as he stepped over the man’s body and into the armory to retrieve their gear. He felt a lot stronger with the shield strapped to his back. But then there was the matter of lugging out Tony’s suit and Bucky’s bag of assorted weapons.

It really would have been nice to have Bucky give him a hand with everything, but he wouldn’t begrudge him the chance to spend a little more time with Tony. He would have liked to spend time with Tony as well, but Tony had clearly gotten very attached to Bucky and Steve wasn’t about to jeopardize their escape over a little wistful longing. Besides, there’d be plenty of time to cuddle Tony once they were all safely back at the Tower.

Steve slung Bucky’s bag over one shoulder, the armor over the other and proceeded to clank his way on down the hallway.

A soldier stepped out of a doorway, gun drawn. “Stop right there, Captain.”

“Not in the mood, pal,” Steve growled. He swung the armor and the soldier went down in a heap.

Steve grimaced at the splash of blood across the suit’s helmet. Tony was not going to be happy about that.

The sound of the confrontation brought out another wave of soldiers and Steve was forced to fight his way all the way to the exit.

And to top it all off, their transport was, of course, not where they had left it.

Steve groaned and surveyed the landscape. No sign of Bucky or Tony, but that wasn’t anything to worry about. Bucky knew better than to just stand around out in the open while Hydra agents were likely still lurking about. But if Hydra couldn’t find them, Steve probably couldn’t either.

He took a deep breath to focus himself and dropped down behind a boulder. Bucky and Tony were around here somewhere. He just needed to find them and get them out without bringing the rest of the base down on them. He had already taken out almost forty men, but there was no telling how many more were still lying in wait.

Sudden movement in one of the bushes caught Steve’s attention. It was probably his boys, but he had to be sure. Steve went through a series of bird calls, relieved when they were answered.

He made his way slowly over to the other bush. Bucky had picked a very good hiding place. Steve couldn’t see the two of them until he was practically on top of them. He probably wouldn’t have noticed them at all if Tony’s swishing tail hadn’t been stirring the leaves.

Tony looked up with a smile and a meow that was more of a chirp as Steve stepped over him and then went back to fussing over his claws.

Steve crouched down next to Bucky. “What happened?” he asked. “Why are Tony’s claws bloody again? Was there a fight?”

“Nothing Tony couldn’t handle,” Bucky said. He reached over and ruffled Tony’s hair.
“And while he was busy kicking ass, I got ahold of some dipshit’s cell phone and called in an SOS. SHIELD’s gonna be here within the hour.”

“Thank god,” Steve said. He leaned his head against Bucky’s shoulder. “I’m ready to get the hell out of here.”

“You and me both, pal.” Bucky pressed a kiss to Steve’s cheek. “I’m ready for a nice, long shower and some life-affirming sex.”

Steve snorted. “I think I want a nap first.” Now that the adrenaline was starting to wear off, he was feeling tired.

“Sounds good to me,” Bucky said. “After a night in this dump, our bed is going to feel like a fucking cloud.”

“This bush feels like a cloud,” Steve muttered. Bucky’s warmth was soothing and relaxing. It was going to be really difficult to stay awake until SHIELD arrived.

“Well, we do have an hour to kill,” Bucky said. He rolled his shoulders with a deep groan and then sprawled out next to Tony. “Might as well sleep it off.”

Steve shook his head. “Someone should keep watch. The rest of the soldiers will be combing the area for us.”

Bucky sighed and sat up. “Fine, fine. I’ll take first watch.”

“You sure, Buck?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Bucky put a hand in the center of Steve’s chest and gently pressed him to the ground. “You look like you’ve been through hell.”

“I have been,” Steve said. “I thought I lost you again.”

Bucky smiled wanly and pressed a kiss to Steve’s forehead. “Then you’ve earned the right to first nap. Go on and get some rest, baby.”

Reluctantly, Steve settled down in the dirt and leaves. “You wake me at the first sign of trouble, okay?”

“Not gonna be any trouble,” Bucky said confidently.

Steve didn’t exactly share his optimism, but once he laid down, sleep was pretty much inevitable.

He woke to the sound of helicopter whirring and machine gun firing.

Oh good. The cavalry was here.

“Easy, easy. They’re the good guys,” Bucky murmured.

Steve sat up and was greeted by the sight of Tony curled tightly around Bucky, hiding his face in his shirt.

“Doesn’t like all the noise,” Bucky said. “Probably hurts his ears.”

“Poor thing,” Steve said. He crawled closer and pulled Bucky into an embrace so Tony would be shielded from both sides. Gradually, Tony stopped shaking and nuzzled into Bucky’s chest with a faint purr.

“That’s it, doll,” Bucky said. “You’re safe with us.”

After a few minutes, Tony felt brave enough to lift his head and warily watch as the helicopter landed in the field a few yards away from their hiding place. But he wouldn’t leave the bush, even with Steve and Bucky’s reassurance.

“You just want to be carried, don’t you?” Bucky said with an affectionate smile. “Well, I don’t mind that.”

Tony clearly didn’t mind that either. He was all smiles as he wriggled himself into a better position in Bucky’s arms.

Steve walked up to the helicopter first. The door was already open and a SHIELD agent had jumped down to the ground to welcome them inside and provide cover should anyone decide to shoot at them while boarding.

“Captain Rogers,” the agent said with a nod.

“Agent,” Steve said.

“We-uh, we uh,” the agent’s eyes widened as he caught sight of Bucky striding up with Tony clinging to him like a limpet. “I didn’t know we were, uh, expecting….”

“I asked for transport for three,” Bucky said cheerfully. “Close your mouth before you catch flies.”

The agent coughed and fixed his expression into calm indifference. “Good to see you, Sergeant Barnes, and uh…”

“Stark,” Bucky said with a wicked grin. “Don’t you recognize him?”

The agent’s expression flickered for just a moment, but he was able to keep his mask of professionalism. “Good to have you back with us, gentlemen. We’re ready to leave when you are.” He gestured back to the helicopter.

It took a lot of convincing for Tony to get in. And once he was inside the copter, he wouldn’t stop shaking, even with Steve and Bucky holding him.

It was going to be a long flight.

Finally, the helicopter touched down on the roof of the Tower.

“Director Fury expects your mission reports by tomorrow morning,” the agent said. “I expect he’ll want to know about Mr. Stark’s condition.”

“Of course he will,” Bucky muttered under his breath. He shouldered Tony into his arms and brushed past the agent.

“They’ll be in by morning,” Steve said with a sigh.

Well, his would be anyway. He doubted Bucky would be able to take his eyes off Tony long enough to write even a paragraph.

Once they descended to the penthouse level, Tony immediately squirmed out of Bucky’s arms and darted down the hall into his bedroom.

Bucky chuckled. “Looks like he recognizes the place. I guess there’s still some Tony left in there after all.”

“I’d think so,” Steve said. “He’s not all cat.”

“But just too much cat to flirt with,” Bucky said with a heavy sigh.

“You’ll live. Now, Tony has the right idea. Let’s get something to eat and then hit the hay for a bit.” Steve really wanted to go straight to bed, but he knew with his metabolism, he’d wake up starving within an hour.

Surprisingly, Bucky followed Steve downstairs without any argument.

In the kitchen, Natasha was stirring something in a large stockpot while Clint theatrically chopped vegetables.

“There you are,” Natasha said. “I was beginning to think you two passed out in the elevator.”

“It was tempting,” Steve said with a smile. He leaned over the pot and inhaled. “That smells amazing. I could eat the whole pot.”

“I’m sure you could. Don’t worry, I made plenty. There’s enough for Tony, too, if he’s up for lunch.”

“That’s a very good question,” Steve said. He wasn’t sure if the changes to Tony’s body affected his stomach. Hopefully not, because he had no idea if carrots and celery were safe for cats.

Natasha hummed as she added the vegetables to the pot. “Jarvis, will you ask Tony if he wants to come down for a bowl of potato soup?”

“Sir is already here.”

Cats had a reputation for being stealthy creatures, so Steve shouldn’t have been surprised that Tony had managed to sneak up on them. But he was still just as shocked as everyone else when he turned around and saw Tony sitting quietly at the kitchen table.

“Holy shit,” Clint said. “What did I tell you, Tash? I knew Tony was going to get himself hurt flying in without backup.”

“Being turned into a cat doesn’t count as an injury,” Natasha said scornfully.

“Hey,” Steve said sternly. “Don’t tell me you two were sitting around arguing whether Tony was in trouble instead of coming to help.”

Clint threw his hands up. “No, no. It wasn’t like that. We didn’t know there was a problem until we got word SHIELD was sending pickup for three. And we all know if Tony was okay, he’d be flying back under his own power.”

“Fair enough.”

Bruce wandered into the kitchen with his tablet tucked under one arm. “I heard the soup was just about…whoa.” He stared at Tony for a moment and then started wiping his glasses. “The rest of you are seeing this, right?”

“Yep,” Clint said. “Tony Stark, cat man.”

Bruce slipped his glasses back on with a sigh. “Thank god. It’s just been one of those nights, you know?”

Bucky snorted. “Yeah, we know.”

Bruce cleared his throat. “Any idea how this happened?”

Steve and Bucky took turns telling what they had witnessed.

“So, he’s an idiot and fucked up his own serum,” Bucky concluded.

“I don’t think he did,” Bruce said. “You said he reported different outcomes for each of his subjects.”

“Yeah, and all his other subjects turned into tigers and shit. Tony’s just a friendly little house cat.”

Bruce shrugged. “If you think about it, all his test subjects were likely Hydra volunteers. If the serum was designed to tap into their deepest desires, it makes sense for them to manifest as something threatening. Tony, on the other hand, often acts tougher than he feels. We’ve all seen him insist that he’s fine when he’s about to keel over, right?”

Steve nodded. “When he’s injured, when he’s tired, when he’s drunk.”

“Exactly. So I’d like to think that deep down, Tony would like to do whatever he wants to do without worrying about his reputation. I’ve known a couple cats in my life and trust me, they do whatever they want whenever they want to do it.”

Steve chuckled. “I’ve known a couple cats in my life, too, and Tony’s a lot nicer than any of them.”

“To be fair, most cats we knew when we were kids were alley cats,” Bucky pointed out. “Not exactly the most well-adjusted critters.”

Bruce massaged his temples. “Well, I should take a blood sample from Tony after lunch. If Hydra wanted to maximize suffering, the serum would have been designed to wear off so Tony would see that he’d killed Bucky and be horrified by what he’d done. But it’s been hours. More than enough time for it to wear off naturally. Maybe he had an antidote prepared. I’ll have to look into this.”

Steve put a hand on Bruce’s shoulder. “Don’t push yourself. We’ll keep him comfortable until you find a way to reverse it.”

Bucky nodded. “It’s been a crazy night for all of us. Better to start with fresh eyes. And maybe with any luck he’ll sleep it off.”

It seemed incredibly unlikely that everything would just work itself out, but at the moment, all they could do was hope.

Chapter Text

After wolfing down three bowls of Natasha's soup, Steve felt even more exhausted than before. He managed to mumble some sort of thanks to Natasha before he trudged upstairs, Bucky close behind him.

"Sleep first, sex later," Steve said firmly.

"No arguments here," Bucky said. He toed off his shoes and pulled his shirt over his head. "Up for a shower or too much effort?"

"Too much effort," Steve said with a grunt. He flopped down on his side of the bed and kicked his shoes off somewhere in the direction of the closet.

Bucky settled into bed, stripped down to just his underwear. He gave Steve a sidelong look. "Not even going to bother getting out of those dirty clothes?"

"Nope," Steve said. "If it bothers you, go sleep on the couch."

Bucky chuckled. "I've handled worse. But you're taking a shower as soon as you get up later." He waggled his eyebrows. "Maybe I'll even take one with you. We can get clean before we get dirty."

Steve slung an arm over Bucky's chest. "Sounds good to me. Now shut up and go to sleep."

He felt Bucky's laughter against his skin and he drifted off, soothed by the familiar sound.

It felt like he had only been asleep a few minutes, but he was Steve awakened by a dip in the bed and a rumbling purr. "Tony?" he mumbled sleepily.

Bucky rolled over and switched on the light. "Hey, kitten. What are you doing in here? You have your own room. I know you know where it is."

Tony crawled up the bed and flopped down between them.

Bucky pursed his lips and exchanged a look with Steve. "Not that I'm against having you in bed with us, babe, but Stevie and I just want to sleep."

"He can stay as long as he's calm and quiet," Steve said. "I'm too tired to fight it."

Bucky grinned. "Hear that, kitten? Make yourself comfy and settle in for a couple hours."

Tony purred and rubbed his face against Bucky's chest.

"Back to sleep," Steve muttered. His eyelids started to droop.

"Ow," Bucky said.

Steve forced his eyes open and watched as Tony squirmed in Bucky's arms.

"Come on," Bucky grumbled. "Stop elbowing me and just settle down. Don't make Steve kick you out of bed."

"He wants to be the little spoon," Steve said. "That's how he and Pepper always did it."

"Ah." Bucky helped adjust Tony into position.

The genius let out a contented sigh, curled up, and immediately went to sleep.

"It's been awhile since I was the big spoon," Bucky said with a faint smile. His arms tightened around Tony's waist. "It's a good feeling."

"It sure is."

He and Bucky didn't spoon very often. The serum gave Steve great endurance in battle, but after all the fight was over and the adrenaline had worn off, Steve tended to crash hard and he just sprawled in bed. But every so often, when the day had been nice and easy, he'd wrap Bucky in his arms and think about how lucky it was that he was big enough to hold him now.

"I'm not exactly the sentimental type," Bucky said. "But Tony makes me think of when you were smaller. He's not as tiny and fragile as you were, thank god, so I don't have to worry about him as much. I can just enjoy having this sweet little thing in my arms."

"I get it," Steve said. "You were always looking after me back in the day. But now I'm big and strong and you don't have to protect me anymore."

Bucky snorted. "I still have to protect you from yourself. You stupid, self-sacrificing asshole. But yeah, not seeing you cough a lung up every winter is great," Bucky admitted. "And I'm not saying Tony's weak. Don't you dare tell him I said that. He'll put on the suit and kick my ass into next week. But he's, well-"

"He's human," Steve said gently. "And to us, normal humans always seem a little fragile."

"Right," Bucky said. He pressed a kiss to Tony's temple. "Guess I got used to saving your ass all the time and I need somebody else I can look after."

Tony opened one eye and made a displeased sound in the back of his throat.

Steve chuckled. "We're keeping you awake, aren't we?" He leaned in closer to press a kiss to Bucky's forehead, almost kissed Tony as well, but thought better of it. "Night, boys."

When he woke a few hours later, he felt good as new. He rolled over, intending to give Bucky a good morning or good afternoon kiss, not exactly sure how long he'd been asleep. But he abruptly remembered they're not alone in bed when he saw Tony curled up under the covers.

Bucky had his head propped up on one arm, staring at Tony. "I think this is the longest I've ever seen him sleep," he said.

"That's real creepy, Buck."

Bucky waved a hand dismissively. "I wasn't watching him the whole time. I woke up, saw he was still out, and studied him a little to see if he was faking it. But no, I think he's actually still sleeping."

"He probably needs it," Steve said. Tony really did sleep rarely enough that seeing him asleep was almost like spotting a rare bird, so he couldn't actually blame Bucky for his reaction. By now, the genius had probably built up a month's long sleep deficit. A couple hours rest was barely going to dent that, but it was a start.

Bucky slid out of bed carefully. "I'm just going to go down and grab us some leftover spaghetti or-oh, damn it."

Steve looked down to where Tony's ears had pricked up in interest.

"Spaghetti," Bucky repeated.

Tony lifted his head and whined plaintively.

Bucky snorted. "Some things never change, I guess. Come on, kitten. Let's go downstairs and get some food."

Tony bounded out of bed and raced into the elevator before Steve even made it to the door.

"Somebody's really excited about that spaghetti," Steve muttered. It was Tony's favorite food, sure, but he had never seen Tony show that much enthusiasm. He was starting to wonder just how long they had been asleep.

"Well, well, well," Clint said as they walked into the kitchen together. He waggled his eyebrows. "All three of you, eh?"

"Yep," Steve said. "All three of us had a long night and needed the rest."

"Yeah, sure, but all three of you in the same bed?"

Steve gave him a stern look. "Are you insinuating that we would take advantage of our teammate while he has the brain of a cat and can't understand what's happening?"

Clint put his hands up defensively. "I'm just saying what it looks like."

"Well, we were asleep," Steve said curtly.

"For six whole hours?"

"Damn," Bucky said. "No wonder Tony's starving."

Now that he thought about it, Steve was feeling a little hungry himself. Six hours was a long time for him to go without food.

Tony whined and pawed at the refrigerator door.

"Spaghetti coming right up," Bucky said. He shooed Tony out of the way and opened the fridge.

"Spaghetti?" Clint said. "You sure he doesn't want salmon or something."

"Nope. He wants this." Bucky divided the leftover spaghetti between three plates and fended Tony off until he was finished. "Would you relax? Your spaghetti's not going anywhere."

Before Bucky had a chance to put the plate in the microwave, Tony grabbed his plate and shoveled half a serving into his mouth.

"Damn," Clint said. "I stand corrected."

"Jesus," Bucky said. "Remind me to never get between him and his food. Don't want to lose my other arm."

Tony finally looked up from his plate and delicately licked sauce off his fingertips.

Bucky made an obscene sound in the back of his throat and Steve smacked him upside the head. "I really can't believe you, Buck. He has the mind of an animal."

"Eh," Clint said. "Probably not entirely. I mean, he seems to recognize us all and find the Tower familiar. And obviously spaghetti is still his favorite. So maybe it's one of those things where his body is 20% cat now so his brain is too."

Steve frowned. "I'm pretty sure Tony's brain is a lot more than 20% cat."

"Ah, what the fuck do I know?" Clint said, throwing up his hands. "I'm not a scientist. I don't know why I'm making up theories about this."

"Did someone say scientist?" Bruce said. He wandered into the kitchen with his tablet in hand. "Ah, Tony's here. I think now would be a good time to take him down to the lab for a few tests."

"Better make sure he's done with his spaghetti first," Steve advised. "He's pretty ravenous."

Bruce nodded and tapped on his tablet. "Not terribly surprising. He didn't eat much of Natasha's soup."

Steve immediately felt guilty. He had been so busy shoving food into his mouth that he hadn't checked to see if Tony was eating.

"But Tony likes Nat's soups," Bucky protested.

"Ordinarily, yes," Bruce said. "But potato soup has no meat in it and cats are carnivores. He was probably willing to try it because he remembers liking it, but his new body has different nutritional needs and appetites."

"So, you believe Tony still has all his memories," Steve said.

"I'll have to collect some more data to come to a final conclusion, but it appears so. He just lacks the cognitive ability to process them fully."

Bucky cleared his throat. "So, uh, you think when he changes back he'll keep all his memories of being a cat?"

"Why?" Clint asked with a smirk. "Done something you're hoping he won't remember?"

Bucky grimaced. "Well, he's sure not going to be happy I said seeing him like this makes me think of when Stevie was little. You know how defensive he is about looking weak."

"Oh, he's going to kill you," Clint crowed.

"Lucky for you," Bruce said, "it's doubtful that Tony will actually remember anything we say while he's a cat. He seems to understand tone of voice more than he does actual language now. So, as long as your tone was positive, he'll assume you said something nice. He's not going to remember every little interaction anyway. When he turns back, all he should remember is an overall positive or negative impression of you, based on how well you treat him as a cat."

"Interesting," Bucky said.

Steve suppressed a sigh. From the smirk on Bucky's face, Tony was in for a lot of flirting over the next few days. Hopefully Bruce could come up with a cure quickly.

Chapter Text

Bruce had Tony down in his lab for most of the afternoon to run his tests. Bucky insisted on dragging Steve down to the lab with him so that the two of them could be there for moral support.

Not that Tony really needed them there. He yowled when Bruce drew a vial of his blood, but otherwise, he put up with all the tests without a fuss. At one point, Tony even dropped off to sleep on the exam table.

“This is bad, right?” Bucky said as Tony slept through a set of x-rays. “He got up two hours ago and he’s already taking a nap. He’s gotta be coming down with something if he’s sleeping this much.”

“Not necessarily,” Bruce said as he adjusted Tony into a different position. “Cats sleep anywhere from 16 to 20 hours a day. So it’s not unusual for them to go back to sleep right after breakfast. I wouldn’t worry unless he’s showing other signs of illness.”

“Twenty hours a day?” Bucky said faintly. “Fuck. How are we going to spend any time with him if he’s sleeping all day?”

“Since he’s not completely cat, I’m sure Tony falls closer to the lower end of the range,” Bruce said. “Perhaps more like 12 to 16 hours a day.”

“See?” Steve said. He elbowed Bucky’s side. “That’s no so bad. And you’ll just be watching him sleep anyway so I don’t know what you’re even complaining about.”

Bucky crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, I still think it’s weird Tony can sleep through all this.”

“Well, he’s not,” Bruce said. “Not really. Cats are very light sleepers. Some part of them is constantly vigilant for threats, even when they sleep. For Tony to stay asleep like this means he either trusts us and realizes we’re not going to hurt him or he thinks whatever we’re doing is so insignificant that it’s not worth his notice.” The corner of his mouth twitched. “Knowing most cats, probably both.”

Tony opened one eye and glared at Bruce balefully.

Bruce chuckled. “I know, I know. I’m almost done. Just let me record your temperature and I’ll let you go.”

“So, what’s the word, doc?” Bucky asked as Bruce scribbled down his final observations.

“He’s a fascinating mix of human and feline,” Bruce said. “His laryngeal muscles are loose enough to allow the right vibrations for purring. And just take a look at his skeletal structure.” He shifted over to the set of x-rays he had tacked up on the wall and traced a finger down the image of Tony’s spine. “His vertebrae are coated with elastic cushioning which means he’s incredibly flexible at the moment.”

“Don’t tell me that,” Bucky groaned. “Every time I see that sleek, sexy body sprawled out over the-oh fuck, he’s not sprawled out on the table anymore.”

Steve looked around in alarm and spotted Tony slinking out of the lab. “I’ll go get him back,” he said.

“You can let him go. I think I’ve got everything I need for now.” Bruce shifted his papers. “He’s just going to get restless if we keep him here much longer.”

Steve nodded. They all knew how much Tony hated being stuck in medical.

Bruce glanced between the two of them. “Uh, you can go after him if you want. I mean, unless you’re really that interested in Tony’s changed anatomy.”

Steve smacked Bucky upside the head before he had a chance to say a word.

“Hey, I wasn’t going to make a joke,” Bucky protested.

“Yes, you were,” Steve said serenely. He turned to Bruce. “I’m sure you’ve discovered a lot of fascinating information from these tests. But I’m more interested in hearing if there’s a way to reverse the changes.”

“That has yet to be determined,” Bruce said. “But now that I have a vial of Tony’s blood I can hopefully figure out what Hydra used to transform him.”

“Good,” Steve said. “In the meantime, anything we should be aware of? Is Tony’s skeletal structure more fragile with these special discs?”

“No more than a normal human’s.” Bruce raise an eyebrow. “I had assumed you would bench him from active duty until he’s back to himself.”

“Oh, I am,” Steve assured him.

“We were more interested in whether it’d still be safe to spar with him,” Bucky said.

“No, we weren’t.”

“Sparring,” Bucky said with a salacious eyebrow waggle.

“Absolutely not,” Steve said. “There will be no sparring or ‘sparring’ while Tony’s a cat.”

“I don’t understand what’s happening between the three of you,” Bruce said with a shake of his head, “And I don’t think I want to.”

“Nothing’s happening,” Steve said. “Tony’s a cat. We’re all going to respect that and just let him do cat things until he’s back to his normal self. Right, Buck?”

“I’m going to cuddle the hell out of him,” Bucky declared.

Bruce sighed. “Keep in mind that you two are supersoldiers and he’s a baseline human.”

Bucky snorted. “If you get hurt cuddling, you’re doing it wrong.”

“Just be careful,” Bruce cautioned. “Tony seems fond of you to and I’d hate to see him get hurt.”

“We’ll be careful,” Steve said firmly. He shot Bucky a look. “Very careful.”

“Good,” Bruce said. “Tony deserves a nice, relaxing evening after all these tests.” He looked at Bucky over the top of his glasses. “A relaxing evening.”

“Why’re you looking at me? I know how to relax. Unlike some people who like being stressed and uptight all the time.” Bucky elbowed Steve hard in the ribs. “Stop worrying, would you? Bruce’ll get our boy back.”

Steve exhaled noisily. “Yes, thank you, Bruce. We’re lucky to have you.”

Bruce waved him off. “I’ll let you know as soon as I make any progress.”

Bucky dragged Steve upstairs. “Come on, help me look for him. He deserves some hugs and cuddles for making it through medical and you know I’m the best damn cuddler there is.”

Steve wasn’t about to argue that. Even when he was small and hated being taken care of like an invalid, Bucky’s warm, strong arms wrapped around him had always been comforting.

“Tony, where you at?” Bucky said. He peered into the kitchen. “Tony. Come here, angel.” He whistled and patted his leg.

Steve rolled his eyes. “He’s not a dog, Buck.”

“I know he’s not, smartass. I just don’t know how you call a cat.”

“You can’t call a cat. They show up when they feel like it.” Steve glanced into the den and spotted Tony curled up in a ball on the couch. “Found him.”

Bucky stood in the doorway and stared. “Huh. So I guess this is what Bruce meant by flexibility.”

“Well, he looks perfectly content where he is,” Steve said. “Let’s go and-”

“Are you kidding me? Bruce told us to keep Tony company and that’s exactly what we’ll do.” Bucky stalked over to the couch and dropped down right next to Tony’s tail.

Telling himself that he was just going in to keep Bucky out of trouble, Steve reluctantly sat down on the other side of Tony.

“Rise and shine, gorgeous,” Bucky said. He ran a hand down Tony’s spine.

“Don’t wake him up, jerk,” Steve hissed.

But it was too late. Tony was already shifting and uncurling. With a huge yawn, Tony’s eyes fluttered open. His brow furrowed and he made an adorably confused sound halfway between a chirp and a mew as he stared up at Steve.

“Hey there,” Steve said. “Sorry to wake you up.” He scratched behind Tony’s ears. “You can go right back to sleep if you want.”

Tony smiled up at him sleepily and started to purr.

“No going back to sleep,” Bucky said. “How are we ever going to find time to cuddle you if you’re sleeping the day away?”

“Don’t be an asshole, Buck. I don’t bother you when you’re trying to sleep, do I? You’d slug me if I did.”

“Oh, he doesn’t mind. Look at him. He’s smiling and purring.”

“You still need to respect his space. Maybe the next time he claws your eyes out. It’d serve you right.”

Tony stretched luxuriously and laid his head down in Bucky’s lap.
Bucky scratched under Tony’s chin. “Look at you, angel. So sweet and pliant. I bet you’d be even sweeter if I could fuck your brains out.”

Steve groaned. “Bucky. You can’t say things like that.”

“Why not? No offense, babe, as much as I enjoy getting my ass wrecked all the time, I’d like a little variety.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Dick sucking isn’t enough variety for you?”

“Okay, I love when you suck my dick,” Bucky admitted. “But can you imagine Tony sucking your dick? That perfect little tongue.”

Steve sighed and shook his head. “You do know cat tongues are like sandpaper, right?”

Bucky made a face. “Damn. Well then, we’ll just wait until he’s human again.”

“Good plan,” Steve said dryly. He gave Bucky a sidelong look. “If you’re that desperate for a blowjob, I am human. I know it’s just the same old, same old thing you get every night, but maybe you can endure-”

“Oh, don’t get all bent out of shape. You know I’m only razzing you, right?”

“Do I really?” Steve said with a smirk. “I think you need to prove it to me.”

“Sure,” Bucky said eagerly. He jiggled his leg. “Alright, Tony. Let me up.”

Tony whined in displeasure and crawled further into Bucky’s lap.

Bucky ruffled his hair. “Don’t be jealous, baby. I promise I’ll suck your dick as soon as you’re human again. I’ve heard cats have spikes on their dicks and I’m not keen on putting things with spikes on ‘em in my mouth.”

“Thank god for that,” Steve said.

“Keep talking shit and you’ll have to suck your own dick.”

“I’ve done that a few times,” Steve said in an offhand way. “Back when I was small.”

Bucky scrambled upwards, ignoring Tony’s yowl of disapproval. “Are you fucking kidding me, Rogers? You never told me about that.”

Steve shrugged. “It seemed pathetic at the time. Tiny Steve Rogers can’t get a date and has to suck his own dick.”

“It’s not pathetic. It’s fucking hot is what it is. C’mon. Let’s go upstairs so you can show me this sweet trick of yours.”

“I don’t know, Buck,” Steve said with a grin. “I think all the muscles might get in the way.”

“Bullshit,” Bucky said. “Those muscles make everything better. If you can’t bend far enough anymore, I still get to look at these glorious abs.” He smacked Steve’s ass. “Get moving, soldier. You owe me a show.”

Who was Steve to deny Bucky when he asked so nicely?

Chapter Text

"I'm kind of disappointed," Bucky muttered as he curled into Steve's arms.

"I told you it wasn't going to happen," Steve said. He patted Bucky's side. "Sorry for getting your hopes up."

"I suppose I shouldn't complain," Bucky said. "You got close. And watching you come on your face was pretty damn sexy. With a little practice, I bet you could be sucking your dick again."

"Doubt it," Steve said. "I think I'm just too tall, too muscular now."

"I could probably do it with a little practice," Bucky murmured.

"Maybe," Steve allowed. "You did manage to get a lick in."

"I bet if you pushed down on my back a little, I could get it."

"Absolutely not," Steve said. "Do you really want to explain to SHIELD that you broke your back trying to suck your dick?"

"Oh please," Bucky said dismissively. "With my healing factor, a broken back is nothing. I'll be laid up for a week tops. And you can nurse me back to health with your sweet, sweet loving." He waggled his eyebrows. "I'd love to see you in a tight little nurse's outfit."

"No, what I'm going to do is send Fury in to yell at you, then have Coulson come sit at your bedside and ask you all sorts of invasive questions while you're bedridden and can't escape. And then there'll be no sex for a month."

"You're a cruel man, Rogers," Bucky whined.

"Pardon the interruption, but Sir appears to be heading towards your bedroom," Jarvis warned.

Steve reached over the side of the bed for their discarded clothing. "Put some pants on, Buck," he ordered.

"Why?"

"Because we're not going to make him see us naked."

Bucky snorted. "You really think he'd object to a little nudity? And it's not like he'll remember afterwards anyway."

"Maybe, maybe not," Steve said. "But we'll leave that up to him to decide. So put on your damn pants."

Bucky huffed, but he wiggled back into his boxers before Tony poked his head into their bedroom.

"Hey there, Tony," Steve said with a welcoming smile.

Tony yawned hugely, climbed onto their bed, and wedged himself between the two of them.

"You know, I would have thought that Tony being Tony, would have the best bed in the whole Tower," Bucky mused. "But for some reason he wants to sleep in our bed."

"I don't think he wants to sleep alone," Steve said. He scratched Tony under the chin, smiling when the genius leaned into the touch and started purring. "I mean, cats love to sleep where they're warm and cozy, where they feel safe. I question his judgement," he said, giving Bucky a sidelong look.

"Don't look at me like that. Tony's safe with me. Aren't you, sweetness?" He ruffled Tony's hair.

"You really need to stop with the pet names," Steve said.

"Oh, come on," Bucky grumbled. "I know he's not a real cat, but even a part cat should get some endearments. I mean, that's probably the best part of being a cat. Everyone telling you how beautiful and incredible you are. God knows Tony hasn't had enough of that in his life."

"I know you mean well," Steve said. "But you can't get into the habit of calling him sweetheart and darling all the time. What if you slip up after he changes back?"

Bucky shrugged. "We already agreed we'd ask him out once he's himself again. So if I fuck up and call him honey, I'll correct myself and tell him I want him to be my honey."

Steve crossed his arms over his chest and fixed Bucky with his sternest glare.

Bucky grinned. "So maybe not the smoothest pickup line in the world, but it'll work. Who can resist a little awkward charm?"

Steve rolled his eyes. "Plenty of people. I would have decked you if you ever tried that line on me."

"You've decked me for worse," Bucky said with a grin. "This is harmless fun."

"It's not all fun and games," Steve said sternly. "This is Tony we're talking about. If we want a serious relationship with him, we need to start thinking seriously about how we're going to do it."

"You don't need a game plan to ask someone out, Stevie. You didn't have a plan for me, right?"

"No. We just, kind of happened."

"There, you see? No need to start drawing up the battle-"

"No, I mean, I never actually asked you out. We just happened. One day we were friends, the next we were sharing secret kisses in the alley between our apartments."

Bucky tipped his head to one side and pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Shit. You're right. Damn."

Steve blew out a sigh. "I don't think it'll be that easy with Tony."

"It could be," Bucky said. "We spend as much time with him as we can, chilling in his lab and keeping him company while he works, watching movies together, having dinner together, just normal friendship shit. In time, it'll be so natural for us to be around him that he'll forget that there was ever a time when it wasn't the three of us. And then we move on to the cuddling and kissing."

"I'm sorry. Weren't you just saying you didn't need a game plan to ask someone out?"

Bucky elbowed him in the rubs. "We're not asking him out, punk. We're just letting it happen organically. No plans, no strategies. Just being our awesome, hot selves and letting him be part of it."

Tony opened one eye and regarded them balefully. His tail thumped against the mattress.

Bucky chuckled. "You think you deserve to actually be asked out? I agree, darling. But Stevie here has always gotten a little tongue-tied around attractive people and you happen to be one of the most attractive people in the world." He scratched Tony under the chin. "Just wait until you're human again, sweet thing. We're going to spoil the fuck out of you and make you want to be ours."

Tony yawned and pillowed his hands under his head.

Bucky let out a sound suspiciously like a squeal and then clapped a hand over his mouth.

Steve stared at him. "Did you just-"

"Nope," Bucky said immediately.

"That sounded an awful lot like a-"

"Well it wasn't."

Steve grinned and laced his hands behind his head. "So, the infamous Bucky Barnes, smooth-talking badass, breaker of a thousand hearts, deadliest-"

"Oh, shut up, Stevie," Bucky growled.

"Deadliest smile this side of Brooklyn," Steve choked out through his laughter. "Is reduced-" He ducked down to avoid Bucky's punch. "Is reduced to tiny, pathetic little noises because Tony's done something cute."

"Okay, fine," Bucky said with an aggravated sigh. "I squealed. Happy now?"

"Very happy," Steve said cheerfully. "I like seeing this vulnerable side of you."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Right, you've had your fun. Goodnight, Steven," he said firmly. He flopped down on the bed, turned his back to Steve and pulled the covers over his head.

"Oh, come on, Buck. Don't be such a sourpuss." Steve leaned over to press a kiss to the back of Bucky's neck.

Tony yowled and pawed at Steve's shoulder.

"Sorry, sweetheart," Steve said. "Didn't mean to squish you." He scratched behind Tony's ear.

"What were you saying about pet names earlier?" Bucky said with a grin in his voice.

"Your fault," Steve said. "All your bad habits rub off on me."

"You can't blame it all on me, pal. You had a shit-ton of bad habits long before I got my hands on you."

"Yeah, lucky for you," Steve said. "If I hadn't been sneaking into Old Man Coffrey's collection of dirty pictures, we might never have started having sex."

"We would have eventually," Bucky said quietly. "Maybe it would have taken another year or two before we got our shit together and started making out, but we would have gotten there somehow. I mean, we've been in love before we even knew what love was. Nothing would have stopped us getting together. Not the war, not those assholes calling you a fairy, not fucking Hydra and their torture and brainwashing, not your seventy years in the ice. The world has always tried to fuck us over, but we're stronger than anything they throw at us."

"God, do I love you," Steve said fervently. Everyone always said he was good at making speeches, but when Bucky got himself worked up about something he believed in, it was hard for Steve to not get swept up in the emotion.

"Love you too," Bucky murmured. He leaned over to kiss Steve.

Tony grumbled and batted at him.

"Oh, you shut up," Bucky muttered. "I'm trying to kiss my boyfriend here."

Tony huffed and curled himself into a ball under the covers.

Bucky grinned as he pressed a kiss to Steve's cheek. "You think he's jealous of our love? You think he wants us as much as we want him?"

"I don't know," Steve said. "I don't think it's possible for anyone to want as much as I want Tony."

"Believe me, pal. It's possible. Because I'm just as gone on him as you are. You think I'd squeal like a girl and open myself up to my boyfriend's teasing if I wasn't all in?"

"No," Steve said with a smile. He kissed Bucky reverently. "I love you, baby. Thanks for being so openminded and tolerating all my angst and pining."

Bucky snorted. "It wasn't as bad as all your pining after Peggy. She was one hell of a woman, so I understood why you wanted her. But she just wasn't into me. And she wasn't really my type anyway. But Tony." Bucky sighed theatrically. "I was into him the second he called me Manchurian Candidate."

"You were not."

"Yes, I was. When you talked about Tony on the jet, you told me he gives people nicknames as a form of affection."

"Not always."

Steve distinctly remembered Tony calling one of their minor adversaries Cabbage Patch. He wasn't sure what it meant, but it sounded vaguely insulting.

Bucky waved a hand dismissively. "He was coming to us as an ally, so he meant it as friendly sass. And I just wanted to take him home with us and see what other nicknames he could shout in bed."

"So you let me talk your head off about how you'd love it in the Tower and what a good guy Tony was and you were already planning on getting into his pants. Thanks a lot, Buck."

Bucky grinned. "I liked hearing you talk about him. You get this warm, fond look on your face. It's fucking adorable and I'm going to squeal over it one of these days. Laugh at me all you want, asshole, but the two of you are like overgrown goddamn puppies. I'm going to fucking die the first time you two cuddle on the couch, but it'll be so worth it."

"We're cuddling now," Steve said. He settled back in bed and curled around Tony.

Tony purred and arched back into Steve's arms.

"Yep, cute as hell," Bucky said with a fond smile. "You need to work your adorably dorky magic on him, babe, because I want to wake up to all this cuteness every morning."

Chapter Text

Steve was awakened the next morning but the loud blare of the alarm and Jarvis’ announcement that the team was summoned to the den for a message from Fury.

Bucky groaned and pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“Afraid not, Buck.” Steve nudged Bucky’s leg. “Up and at ‘em, babe.”

“I hate you,” Bucky muttered. “It’s too early for you to be so awake. It’s not even morning yet.”

“It’s 5 a.m. I’m pretty sure that counts as morning.”

“Still dark outside,” Bucky muttered. “And I’m not getting up while it’s still dark out. Why don’t you go and find out what the hell Fury wants and Tony and I will just stay nice and warm in bed. Sounds good to you, doesn’t it, darling?”

Tony purred and nuzzled into Bucky’s chest.

“Nice try, Buck. But Fury specifically asked for the whole team. Tony can stay in bed though. No sense in making him come to a briefing he can’t understand.”

“Not fair,” Bucky grumbled. But he rolled out of bed and slipped into a pair of jeans and a navy blue hoodie.

Tony yawned and stretched luxuriously, then slid off the bed.

“You coming to give us some moral support, baby?” Bucky asked. He scratched Tony under the chin. “I appreciate it, sweet thing.”

Steve snorted. “He probably just wants some breakfast. Jarvis, could you start up the coffeemaker and the electric kettle before the rest of the team gets downstairs?”

When dealing with Nick Fury, it was best to be caffeinated.

“Certainly, Captain,” Jarvis said. “Shall I start up the electric griddle as well?”

“Yes,” Bucky said with a groan. “I need a reward for dealing with Fury’s shit. Goddamn early morning team meetings. Can’t these things wait till a reasonable hour?”

Steve shrugged. “Must be important.” He pulled a grey sweatshirt over his head. “Just be thankful it’s not an actual mission.”

Bucky muttered something under his breath that didn’t sound thankful at all, but Steve decided to ignore that. At least he was out of bed. And at this hour, it was a small miracle.

By the time they made it downstairs, the rest of the team had already arrived and were in the process of pouring themselves either coffee or tea.

Tony squealed with delight and made a beeline over to the coffee machine.

Steve burst out laughing. “Can you believe it, Buck? He made the same sound you did last night.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Bucky muttered.

“Jesus Christ,” Clint said. “I get your whole eternal love thing, but after all this time, you shouldn’t still be so excited to see Steve’s dick.”

“Barton,” Steve groaned.

Bucky snorted. “Steve’s dick is great and all, but I’ve learned over the years that he’s a huge dick and he’d make fun of me for the rest of my life for getting excited about it.”

“That’s because it’s cute when you get excited over things,” Natasha said

“I’m not cute,” Bucky insisted. “I’m sexy as hell.”

“Uh-huh.” Natasha took a delicate sip of her earl grey and gave Bucky a disapproving look over the cup. “You keep telling yourself that. But I’ve heard you gushing about how Tony styles his hair. And if that isn’t adorable, I don’t know what is.”

“You’re imagining things,” Bucky said sourly.

“Oh, I’ve got it all recorded,” Natasha said with a smile. “You drunkenly debating whether Tony looks better with his hair nice and smooth at an event, greasy and disheveled after a couple days in the lab, or all messy and sticking up when he first stumbles in for morning coffee.”

"You talked about Tony’s hair with Natasha, but not me?” Steve said with an exaggerated gasp. “Bucky, baby, I thought we shared everything.”

“I hate you both,” Bucky growled.

“Pardon the intrusion,” Jarvis cut in. “But Director Fury has asked me to remind you all to proceed into the den for your team meeting. He does not want to be kept waiting.”

Bucky grumbled, but he grabbed the coffee cup Steve offered him and plodded into the den.

Everyone settled into their customary seats for movie nights, except for Tony. Instead of taking his favorite armchair, Tony sprawled across Steve and Bucky’s laps.

“Now, that’s cute,” Natasha said approvingly.

“Shut up,” Bucky hissed. “Jarvis, let Fury know we’re ready.”

The screen flickered on, displaying Fury’s image.

Tony hissed and scrambled on top of the couch, his fur bristling as he glared in Fury’s direction.

Clint cackled. “Hey, he recognizes you.”

Fury looked distinctly unimpressed. “I see Agent Spaulding wasn’t exaggerating Mr. Stark’s condition. Any word on when he’ll be back to his normal, irritating self?”

“I had hoped the transformation serum would wear off within the day,” Bruce said. “But at this point, we’re looking into an antidote. I’ve got some tests running in the lab as we speak. As soon as we get a breakthrough, we’ll give you a call.”

Fury nodded. “In the meantime, call up Wilson and Rhodes. Make sure they know they’ll be backup if anything goes south the next few days.”

“I’ll call Sam,” Steve said with a heavy sigh. “Nat, you want to get ahold of Rhodes?”

“Hell no,” she said. “The two of us aren’t on good terms either.”

“I don’t care who does it,” Fury said. “But one of you motherfuckers needs to get on it.”

“Is that really why you called a meeting?” Bucky demanded. “To remind us that we’re down a member at the moment? I think we could have figured that out ourselves.”

Fury fixed Bucky with a steely look. “You still need to send in your mission report, Barnes. But at least Rogers managed to find the time. And based on his report, we’ve sent agents out to round up the rest of Hydra’s soldiers and retrieve whatever it was Mr. Stark was injected with.”

Bruce perked up. “If your agents have the formula, I should be able to break it down and come up with a cure a lot more easily.”

Fury shook his head. “There’s no trace of any serum on base. All the labs were empty. Whatever it was, it’s been smuggled out before we got on site.”

“That’s impossible,” Bucky said. “Tony killed the scientist when we were making our escape. There’s no way he could run off with the stuff.”

“One of his assistants could have,” Steve said. Tony had only maimed them. It was possible they could have been dedicated enough to the cause to retrieve their leader’s work, even if they were in excruciating pain.

“So until we know where this formula ended up, we’re keeping an eye on the situation,” Fury said. “If any other human-animal hybrids pop up, we’re going to be the first on the scene.”

“Yes, sir,” Steve said.

Bruce sighed and stood up from the couch. “I better start working on that antidote again. I have a feeling we might need it sooner than later.”

“After breakfast,” Steve said firmly. “You’re not going to get very far on an empty stomach.”
“I call dibs on the pancakes,” Clint said eagerly. “And the bacon.”

Steve sighed as Bucky, and Thor immediately began arguing with him over the last package of bacon. They were children, the whole lot of them.

He checked his watch. Sam usually woke up around this time. He could do his duty and alert him about the situation while he waited for the breakfast arguments died down.

Sam picked up on the first ring. “Hey, Steve. Long time, no talk. Tired of running circles around your boy? I can have my running shoes on in fifteen minutes.”

“Actually, I have to ask you a favor. Our last mission went a little wrong.”

To his surprise, Sam started laughing as soon as he described Tony’s transformation.

“It’s not funny, Sam.”

“I’m not laughing at Tony. I’m laughing at your boy. Has he died of blue balls yet?”

“No, he just acts like he is.” Steve gave Bucky a sidelong look.

“Is he talking shit about me again?” Bucky demanded.

Sam chuckled. “It’s probably not fun living with him and all his whining, but it’s good for him to suffer a little bit.”

“What about me?”

“You’re sleeping with Bucky. I’d almost say that’s suffering enough, but you can handle a little more. And when it’s all over, you’ll know for sure just how strongly you feel about Stark.”

“What are you talking about? Of course I have feelings for him.”

“Of course you do. But you practically live in the guy’s pocket. You’re all living, breathing, working together all the time. A little space apart will tell you whether it’s just a crush or something more. But you’re not calling for my advice, are you? You want the Falcon. I leave for Florida this evening for two-day training seminar. But once I get back, I’m all yours.”

“Thanks, Sam,” Steve said. He ended the call and raised his voice to address the kitchen. “So, Sam’s going to be available in two days.”

“Hopefully we’ll have an antidote by then,” Bruce said.

“Sam also thinks Tony being a cat for a few days is a good thing. It’ll supposedly prove whether Buck and I actually have feelings for him.”

“Fuck that guy,” Bucky muttered. “I don’t know why you’re friends with him.”

“He means well, but he doesn’t know you like we do,” Natasha said. “I can imagine what he thinks when he sees two men in a committed relationship start drooling over someone else. He probably thinks you’re just after a threesome. But I’ve watched you moon over Tony for years. I could have set you up with a number of people, but you were only interested in him. And even though Barnes is back, you’re still interested. I don’t know much about love, but that’s what it looks like to me.”

“See?” Bucky said. “We need to listen to nice, reasonable people like Natasha and ignore assholes like Wilson.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow. “So I’m nice and reasonable now but when I said you were cute, I was the crazy one.”

Bucky stuck out his tongue. “You have your moments.”

“Can we have one morning without fighting, please?” Steve said with a heavy sigh. The team was almost too much like a family sometimes, with most of them taking on the roles of squabbling siblings.

“Yes,” Natasha said. “But don’t hold your breath.” She stepped in and grabbed the package of bacon and divvied it up into three portions. “Would you boys hurry it up? The rest of us want to use the stove, too.”

Under Natasha’s leadership, the breakfast chaos finally sorted itself out and Steve was able to cook himself up a nice plate of scrambled eggs, ham, and toast. He sat down at his usual seat next to Bucky, but his boyfriend seemed far too interested in sneaking bit of bacon onto Tony’s plate to notice that he was there.

Natasha caught Steve’s eyes over the table. “Cute,” she mouthed at him.

Steve grinned. He was inclined to agree.

Chapter Text

After breakfast, Natasha grabbed a stack of dish towels and passed them out. “Everyone’s going to help with clean-up. Wash and dry whatever you used.”

“Joke’s on you fuckers,” Clint said smugly. “I didn’t even use a plate. Just dunked my bacon in my coffee.” He washed his single mug and waltzed out of the room first.

“Lucky bastard,” Bucky muttered as he aggressively scrubbed a frying pan. “He gets to spend time curled up on the couch with Tony while the rest of us slave away over the sink.”

“It’s not that serious,” Steve said. “It’ll take maybe five minutes for you to finish and you can join them.”

“Oh, Jesus, Tony,” Clint wailed from the den. “That’s not right. Oh, fuck no!”

Natasha’s hand stilled on the dish towel. “Jarvis would let us know if anything was wrong with Tony.”

“So maybe nothing’s wrong.” Bucky’s face lit up with a bright smile. “Ooh, maybe he’s changing back. I saw the transformation the first time. It was a weird process for sure.”

“Let’s go check,” Steve said eagerly. It seemed almost too easy for the serum to wear off on its own, but he wasn’t going to complain.

Bucky made it into the den first and came to a stop in the doorway. “Okay, this was not what I was expecting.”

“What? What is it? Is he okay?”

“He’s fine. Just fine.” Bucky stepped to the side so Steve could see.

Tony was completely naked, a pile of his clothes beneath him. He had one leg arched overhead and his mouth fastened to his inner thigh. He glanced up at them briefly with a smile and a happy chirp and then bent his head down to continue licking his way across his thigh.

“Dude, I bet he’s flexible enough to suck his own dick,” Bucky said in an awed tone.

“Tony, no,” Natasha said. She clapped her hands at him. “We don’t do that in public.”

Tony folded his legs up against his chest and stared up at her fearfully.

“Thank you,” Clint said. “I for one, do not want to see Stark’s junk.”

“You’re the only one,” Bucky said.

“No, he’s not,” Natasha said firmly. “But this is something we really need to think about. Tony’s still wearing the same clothes he was yesterday. And I don’t think he’s showered since he got back. He wants to get clean, but he’s too much of a cat to do it the right way. Someone should go up with him to his room and help him get dressed in some clean clothes if he’s forgotten how to put clothes on.”

“I’ll do it,” Bucky said eagerly.

“No. You’ll just be ogling his naked body instead of putting any clothes on him. Clint should do it. He’s pretty eager to see Tony covered up again.”

“Why me? Haven’t I been traumatized enough already?”

“I’ll do it,” Bruce said with a heavy sigh. “It’s not the first time I’ve seen Tony naked.”

“What?” Bucky sputtered indignantly. “When have you seen Tony naked?”

Bruce gave him a long-suffering look. “I’m not that kind of doctor, but Tony still thinks I should have a look anytime he gets a rash or an insect bite.”

“Alright, now that’s taken care of, someone needs to notify Rhodes that he’s on call.” She looked meaningfully at Steve.

“I already called Sam,” Steve said. “I did my part.”

“But Sam likes you. That was too easy.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, I’ll do it,” Clint growled. He pulled out his phone. “Hey, Rhodes. We’re short a team member for this coming week. Can we count on you to be back-up if need be? Does it really matter? Are you available this week or not? Awesome, cool.” He hung up the phone. “See? Problem solved.”

Immediately, his phone started ringing.

Natasha shook her head. “It looks like he’s calling you back.”

“So what? I’m just going to ignore his calls and hope we don’t actually have to call him in.”

Steve frowned. “Is that really the plan? We never tell him the person we’re short is Tony? He’s going to find out eventually and he’s going to be upset that we didn’t tell him.”

“You can tell him what happened to Tony if you want, but I don’t want to get murdered, thank you very much. Bruce will just have to work quickly to get Tony back to his old self and we’ll hope nothing comes up before then.”

“I’m not confident about our chances,” Steve said. “If Tony’s not back to his old self in a day or two, Pepper is going to come looking for him to find out why he’s not doing work for Stark Industries.”

“We are definitely not telling Pepper,” Clint said. “We don’t want to get extra murdered.”

“I really can’t believe us,” Steve said. “We’ve fought Ultron, Loki-”

“Speak for yourself,” Bucky said with a snort.

Steve rolled his eyes. “You and I fought actual Nazis, Hydra soldiers with super weapons. And we’re still more scared of facing Pepper and Colonel Rhodes.”

“Uh, maybe because they already hate us,” Bucky said. “And they’re people that Tony loves and cares about and we don’t want them to hate us more.”

“I don’t think they hate you,” Natasha said. “Or, well, at least they don’t hate you two specifically. They’re just protective of Tony. Maybe a little too protective.”

“And that’s a good thing,” Steve said. “Tony needs people to look out for him.”

“It should be us,” Bucky said fiercely. “We love him.”

“And I’m sure Pepper and Rhodes love him too.”

“Not the way we do.”

“Boys,” Natasha said with a sigh. “Tony needs as many people in his corner as he can get. He might be a genius, but he’s also one of the dumbest, most oblivious people I know. Because somehow he has no idea that you two have the hots for him, even with all the very obvious pining.”

“We’re not pining over him,” Bucky said defensively.

“Uh-huh. I’ve seen the way you watch him walk out of a room, heard all the little comments under your breath. You follow him around like a lovesick puppy and try to do him all these little favors so he’ll notice you and spend more time with you. You’re not subtle at all. Either of you,” she said, fixing Steve with a firm stare.

Steve rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I can’t help it. Tony’s just…Tony. He deserves people doing nice things for him.”

And cooking him dinner now and then, bringing him coffee and snacks down to the lab, and trying to get him into his bed when he passed out from exhaustion seemed like really the least Steve could do for him.

“And we’re just going to keep this going forever, are we? Both of you wanting Tony desperately and not willing to make any sort of move besides being nice to him?”

Bucky huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “If you must know, we were going to have a talk with him after the whole cat situation gets resolved. Make our feelings for him clear.”

“The way you’ve been talking to him, I think you’ve already made yourself clear,” Clint said with a snicker. “The cat’s out of the bag, so to speak.”

Natasha elbowed Clint in the ribs.

Clint doubled over. “Ow. Not nice, Nat.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’ll live. But seriously, Steve, Bucky. I’m rooting for the three of you to have a good, honest conversation about everything and finally get your shit together. I’m tired of all the sexual tension in this tower. I’m pretty sure the pining’s been mutual, although Tony’s been surprisingly less dramatic and whiny about it.”

“We can only hope,” Bucky said. “The alternative is he’s been recognizing that we’re sweet on him and he’s too polite to turn us down.”

Steve grimaced. That was one of his biggest fears, that Tony didn’t feel the way they did.

Natasha shook her head. “Tony has a lot of flaws, but he doesn’t string people along. He’s just an idiot and assuming you two are being nice to him to try to mend things between you after all the fighting that’s gone down. I can’t guarantee you that he feels the same way about you that you feel about him, but if he doesn’t, he’s going to find a way to let you down easy so you can all still be friends. That’s got to be better than just living with all this uncertainty, right?”

“I mean, when you put it that way,” Steve said.

They were friends now, with the chance of something more if they were brave enough to take the next step. What did they have to lose?