Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Some say that a grudge cannot last forever, they obviously hadn’t met Clarke Griffin. A heavy sigh left her lips as she pulled up at the house. She took in the sight before her, she had tried to avoid the house as much as she could over the last three years. All because of him and what he had done to her. She tore her eyes away from the house to look at the small girl asleep in her car seat.

Her daughter. No matter how many regrets she had about being a teenage mother, she could never regret her. She could never regret the two-year-old, who had brought so much light into her life. She might have chosen her daughter’s name in spite but honestly, she had fallen in love with it the first time she had heard it. Madi. She had decided to spell it differently because she knew it would annoy him. She wanted to annoy him, she wanted to piss him off. She was sixteen, angry and hurt when she chose it. Inhaling deeply, hoping that the fresh oxygen would bring her some sort of courage to get her through today.

As soon as she opened her car door, Octavia bounded through the front door of the house and down to Clarke’s car. A laugh erupted from Octavia’s lips as she enveloped Clarke into a hug.

“What the hell took you so long?” Octavia laughed, pulling back to look at her best friend.

“I had work last night so I didn’t get home till late.” Another sigh left Clarke’s lips as she ran her fingers through her hair.

“Well, it’s not every day that your best friend is home from college for the summer. So you should’ve been here earlier.” A serious look washed over the dark hair girl’s face before a bright smile spread across her face.

“Screw you, O.” Clarke shook her head with a small smile.

“Let me see my little Madi.” Octavia smiled and opened the back door of the car to find the dark-haired two-year-old awake and smiling.

“She’s missed you, O.” Clarke almost spoke solemnly as she watched Octavia get Madi out of the car.

Clarke had been lost without Octavia since she had moved three hours away for college. She had made new friends and still had some from high school but it wasn’t the same. They weren’t Octavia, the best friend she had all her life, the person that knew her better than anyone else. Clarke still hadn’t had the courage to tell her who Madi’s father was. Every time Octavia asked, Clarke would tell her that it didn’t matter, it was a one-time thing and he didn’t want to be a father.

“Earth to Clarke?” Octavia snapped her fingers in front of Clarke’s face, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“What?” Clarke frowned deeply.

“Bell and Echo should be here soon, I thought we could go out to the dropship to celebrate my return.” Octavia smiled as she kissed Madi’s head causing the little girl to smile.

“I’ll see if I can get someone to watch Madi.” The frown on Clarke’s face stayed in place.

“I’ll get my Mom to. You know she loves Madi like her own.” Octavia smiled as they walked into the house.

If only she knew, Clarke thought as she sat down on the lounge with Octavia and Madi. She pushed back thoughts that reminded her of the weeks before she gotten pregnant with Madi. She couldn’t let those thoughts be in her head, especially when he was coming back.

“We’re here!” His voice echoed through the house as the front door closed.

“Bell!” Octavia jumped up still holding Madi.

“O!” He let out a low chuckle as he gave O a side hug.

Bellamy had barely seen Octavia despite the fact that they went to the same college. He would get caught up with Echo or Octavia would get engrossed with Lincoln that they would only see each other in passing. Octavia had started dating Lincoln almost immediately after moving to Arkadia. Octavia had fallen deeply in love with him, despite Bellamy’s disapproval.

A frown began to form on Bellamy’s face as his eyes danced over the toddler that was in his sister’s arms.

“Who’s this?” His voice was quiet but held a hint of worry.

“It’s Madi, she’s grown up so much.” Octavia smiled widely and tickled the little girl as she buried her head in the crook of Octavia’s neck.

“Octavia.” Echo gave Octavia a curt nod.

“Echo.” Octavia returned the nod.

“So Clarke’s here?” the scowl on Echo’s face that had been there since she walked in began to deepen.

“Yeah, what of it? She’s here to see me.” Octavia snapped back.

“Hey O, we’ve got to go.” Clarke appeared in the foyer much to Echo’s dismay.

“Why?” Octavia’s eyes rolled at Echo as she turned to Clarke.

“Roan just texted me and said he needs me at work.” Clarke shifted uncomfortably as she avoided looking at Bellamy.
“Go, I’ll watch Madi. We’ll go to the park or something.” Octavia nodded slowly and cuddled Madi closer.

“Thank you, I’ll see you tonight.” Clarke hugged her friend quickly before kissing Madi’s head. “Be good for Aunty O.” She smiled at the little girl.

“Clarke.” Bellamy nodded as a kind of greeting.

“Bellamy.” Clarke nodded back before walking out quickly.

---------------------------

“You were eager today.” Roan let out a chuckle as Clarke curled into his side on the lounge.

“He’s back and I needed you to make me forget.” Clarke mumbled as she looked around the room. They were in his office above the bar, usually where they ended up if one of them were working.

Their relationship, although mostly unspoken, worked on a basis that they were there when they needed each other but didn’t hold each other back when other opportunities presented themselves. Some may see their relationship as inappropriate, considering Roan was Clarke’s Boss, they saw it as an advantage. Dealing with horrible customers? Duck into the office to relieve some stress and get back to it. It helped that they had developed a strong friendship, the kind of friendship that would last if they stopped sleeping together.

“So when do I get to meet the infamous Bellamy Blake?” He draped his arm around her shoulders pulling her closer.

“Tonight, they’re coming here to celebrate returning for the summer.” She let out a laboured sigh. “A night dealing with Bellamy’s brooding and Echo’s death staring, it’s exactly what I want.” She closed her eyes, relaxing against his chest, dreading the night ahead of her.

Chapter Text

Clarke made her way through the crowd in the bar. It was busy but she knew it would get more crowded when the live music started. This was the type of night that Clarke loved to work. The work was hard and tiring but the tips were always great. The last time they had a popular indie band play and Clarke went home with $500 in tips. Tonight it was just a local cover band which was still good for the bar.

Clarke found Octavia monopolizing one of the corner booths with Bellamy and Echo. She glanced over to the bar to see that Monty and Jasper were arguing with Roan at the bar. Clarke hugged Octavia before giving Bellamy and Echo a curt nod.

“Where’s the kid tonight?” Echo watched Clarke with weary eyes.

Echo never liked Clarke, probably because of the way Bellamy used to look at her. He hasn’t looked at her like that since before the incident. Clarke had given it the ominous name of the incident because that was the exact point when all the feelings of love she had towards Bellamy, plutonic or not, turned into hatred. Echo’s dislike towards Clarke amplified when Bellamy stopped showing any interest in Clarke. Mainly because she wanted to make sure Clarke stayed away from Bellamy.

“Madi is having a sleepover with Aurora tonight.” Clarke kept her reply short and sweet before turning her attention to Monty and Jasper who sulked over after their fight with Roan

“Clarke, Roan is being a dick,” Jasper whined as he sulked over to slide into the booth next to Octavia.

“I’ll be back.” Clarke turned on her heels and started to weave through the crowd slowly.

“We love you,” Jasper shouted after her.

Clarke positioned herself at the end of the bar, earning her a side eye and a small smirk from Roan.

“How did you get that?” Roan eyes the over 21 bracelets on her wrist that they gave out on busy nights like these.

“I’ll have you know my ID says I’m 21 as of last month.” A smirk played on her lips as she watched him shake his head.

“Remind me to fire Tybe.” He chuckled shaking his head.

“Nope.” She popped the p as she watched him. “Four beers please.”

“Closing shifts for a week.” He countered.

“Eight.” She challenged with a raised eyebrow.

“Done.” He gave her a small nod, still smirking. “And you come home with me tonight.”

Before Clarke could answer, Bellamy had made his way over to her in his signature brooding manner.

“Why is she staying with my mom tonight?” Bellamy spat and it took all of Clarke’s willpower not to roll her eyes.

“Madi loves your mom.” Clarke shrugged and shot a look at Roan.

“Aren’t you supposed to take care of her?” Bellamy snapped back.

Clarke’s hands balled into fists as she refused to look at Bellamy.

“It’s one fucking night,” Roan grumbled as he put the beers on a tray for Clarke.

“Thanks.” Clarke gave Roan a small smile as she picked up the tray. “Fuck you, Blake.” She spat at Bellamy as she walked back to the booth.

“Clarkie! Clarkie! Clarkie!” Jasper and Monty began to chant as she walked back to the booth with the beer.

Hands reached for the beer as soon as she put the tray on the table. Raven and Murphy had arrived while Clarke was at the bar.

“O, I have a theory,” Raven smirked as she looked at Octavia.

“Mmm... What’s that?” Octavia mummed as she looked over at Raven who was comfortably resting her back against Murphy’s chest.

“Roan is Madi’s dad,” Raven smirked as Clarke choked on her beer.

“I like that theory,” Octavia smirked and raised an eyebrow at Clarke.

“No, Roan loves Madi. Her biological father is an asshole who didn’t want me to have her in the first place.” Clarke ran her hand through her short blonde hair. “Trust me, if Roan was Madi’s father, she would be an Azgeda, not a Griffin.”

“Are you ever going to tell us?” Octavia sighed, she had asked the question more times then she can count.

“Is there a point? He was an asshole, home from college that slept with me then left me for another girl.” Clarke shrugged again. “It doesn’t matter, O. Madi has a family with or without her father. Now let’s stop talking about depressing shit and have fun.”

“Think you could get us shots?” Octavia wriggled her eyebrows.

———————

Clarke had managed to get shots for everyone after promising Roan numerous amounts of sexual favors. While everyone decided to enjoy the shots, Clarke decided to stick with soda after her first beer, not particularly in the mood to get drunk.

Around midnight Clarke was engrossed by watching Octavia and Raven dancing with Monty and Jasper. She jumped slightly when she felt arms snake around her waist from behind.

“Relax, it’s just me,” Roan mumbled pressing a kiss on her bare shoulder that wasn’t covered by the strap of her tank top.

“Mind if we stay a little longer?” Clarke mumbled.

“I’m fine with that. Want another drink?” He mummed pressing a light kiss just behind her ear.

“I’m good thanks.” She turned in his arms and smiled up at him slowly.

“I’ll be back.” He gave her a lingering kiss.

“Fucking cradle snatcher,” Bellamy muttered loud enough for Roan and Clarke to break apart from each other.

“What?” Roan untangled his arms from Clarke’s waist, turning to Bellamy slowly.

“Couldn’t find someone your own age or do just like teenage girls?” Bellamy spoke through his teeth as he rose out of his seat to challenge Roan.

“Roan, just leave it.” She pulled on Roman’s arm slowly. “Mind your own fucking business, Bellamy.”

“Like you’re the best fucking decision maker. Shouldn’t you be taking care of your kid instead of palming her off on my mother.” Bellamy scoffed.

“Fuck you.” Clarke pushed Bellamy hard.

Bellamy stumbled back into Echo who had just risen from her seat. This really lit Echo’s fuse. She darted around Bellamy and connected her fist with Clarke’s jaw.

Clarke stumbled back, running into Roan’s chest. He steadied her and glared at Bellamy, shooting Daggers at him.

“What the fuck Bell?” Octavia snapped as she pushed past Monty and Raven.

“Stay out of this O.” Bellamy snapped as he moved toward Roan.

“No fuck you Bell. We’re actually having a good fucking time and you just had to pick a fight with Roan and Clarke.” Octavia threw her hands up in the air as she shook her head.

“Roan, let’s just go.” Clarke pulled Roan’s hand gently.

“No Clarke, they need to get the fuck out of my bar.” Roan snapped as he pointed at Bellamy and Echo.

“Roan, leave them. I just want you to take me home.” Clarke put her hand on Roan’s chest and pushed him back gently.

“Fine,” Roan grumbled and turned toward the door. “Night guys.” He half waved at Raven, Murphy, Monty and Jasper.

“O, we’ll pick you up tomorrow when we get Madi. You can come out to breakfast with us.” Clarke gave Octavia a quick hug before following Roan out.

Octavia turned towards Bellamy shooting daggers at him. She felt like she didn’t know her brother anymore. What happened to the Bellamy that would protect Clarke like she was his own blood? This Bellamy, the one in front of her, was picking fights with her like he didn’t even know her.

“What the fuck has gotten into you Bell?” Octavia walked towards Bellamy slowly. “You know the only reason mom doesn’t have to work for that asshole Pike anymore is because Clarke pays mom to look after Madi.” She stared him carefully. “Clarke is using the money she inherited from her father to pay mom and then she works her ass off to support herself and Madi. She does this so that mom never has to even think about going back to work for some asshole like Pike again.”

Bellamy stepped back slowly as he watched his sister. Aurora Blake had been the housekeeper for Charles Pike for six years and she hated it, more than anything but refused to say anything. She had two kids to support and bills to pay. Pike would trash the house constantly, break things then blame her, deducting the cost out of her pay. He was truly an asshole to her. Both Bellamy and Octavia knew something else must have happened but Aurora refused to speak about it.

“You know what fuck you, Bellamy.” Octavia pushed Bellamy back and ran a hand through her hair. “Fuck you.” She pointed at him again before walking out of the bar.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

“He called me a fucking cradle snatcher!” Roan paced the length of his living room as Clarke sat on the couch watching him slowly, her legs drawn up to her chest.

“I know.” Clarke sighed running a hand through her hair slowly.

“You know what that could do to me?” He snapped raking his hand through his shoulder-length hair.

“I shouldn’t have pulled you into the middle of this. I’m sorry.” She pushed up off the couch and walked over to the entryway, she started to pull her boots back on.

“Clarke.” His voice held its usual rough tone as he put his hands on her shoulders to stop her but she still didn’t look at him. “Clarke.” His voice softened as he lifted her head slightly.

His lips came against hers with a sense of need. She melted into him as his hands searched her body gently. He was being more gentle then he’d usually be, his touch was normally hungrier almost like he was starved of her touch. This time it was a need, a need to have her close. A need to have her in his arms.

Clarke loved moments like these, although they didn’t talk about their feelings, the moments like these made her realize how much they actually meant to each other. The way his hands searched her body and his lips gently pressed against hers. His hands travelled down to her ass and he lifted her up gently, pressing her back against the wall.

Her fingers laced into his hair as she deepened the kiss slowly, her legs hooked around his waist as he carried her towards the bedroom. He laid her down on the bed slowly, not breaking the kiss. His hand ran down her arm slowly until he entwined his fingers with hers. He finally broke the kiss keeping his forehead pressed against hers, breathing heavily.

“Roan.” She breathed heavily as she looked into his eyes.

His eyes danced over her face before he lowered down to kiss her again, he let go of her hands so that he could begin to pull at her clothes until she was naked under him. His lips left hers and began to trail down her body, lingering at her breasts before travelling down lower until he pulled her closer to the edge of the bed as he sank to his knees.

He placed his hands on her knees willing her legs to open for him and they did without any protest. He kissed up her inner thigh until he placed a gentle kiss above her core, causing her to shiver with anticipation. He delved into her gently as he pressed his hands to her hips. She could feel herself building up fast, she was surprised considering the leisurely pace he was taking flicking his tongue over her core. Her body began to shake with pleasure as she entangled her fingers in his hair.

“Roan.” His name escaped her lips as her orgasm ripped through her.

He barely let her ride out her orgasm before pushing into her without warning, causing her to cry out as he stretched her. The easiest way to explain Roan’s size was fucking huge but he seemed to fit snug inside her almost as if he belonged there.

“Clarke.” He moaned as he kissed his way back up to her lips and cupped her face.

His pace was slow, painfully slowly. She would usually whine about how slow he was going but this time was perfect. She wanted to feel every moment with him now. She needed to feel everything. His movements were gentle and his kisses were just as gentle. She could feel her self build up again and his movements sped up slightly. His pace helped push her over the edge again and he followed her with is own release. His arms wrapped around her tightly as they rode out their releases together.

It took them a few minutes to recover and change their positions, so they were cuddling under the blankets. Clarke nestled closer to him as he kept his arms around her.

“I need you, Clarke,” Roan whispered and kissed the top of Clarke’s head. “I’ve never needed anyone before like I need you.” His voice shook nervously as he spoke. “I’m terrified I’m going to lose you, Clarke.”

She turned onto her stomach and rested her chin on his chest as she watched him slowly. She kissed him gently as she stroked his cheek.

“You’re not going to lose me.” She watched him slowly.

Chapter Text

Although Clarke and Roan never speak about their feelings, Clarke knew they were moving to a point where that talking about that would be normal for them. Baby steps. That’s if Bellamy didn’t ruin it for them. Clarke couldn’t deny that she had fallen for Roan, although she hadn’t said a peep about it to anyone.

Clarke could pinpoint the exact moment when she knew she had fallen in love with him. They had been seeing for two months when Clarke had to cancel her shift because Madi had come down with a vomiting bug and honestly just wanted her Mommy. Clarke was exhausted and worried sick about Madi. Clarke was terrified that it wasn’t just a stomach virus. Roan had turned up at her door with homemade soup and a new teddy for Madi. Somehow Roan was a comforting aspect for Clarke, he knew exactly what to say to calm Clarke down. He sent Clarke to have a shower and relax while he gave Madi some of the soup and put her to bed. Clarke found Roan sitting on her daughter’s bed with Madi curled into his side, holding her new bear as he read her a story. It melts her heart to see Roan with Madi like that and to this day, it still did.

“I’ve been thinking about Madi’s birthday. Why don’t I get her one of those art easels? The ones they make for kids with the paint and stuff.” Roan smiled as he walked out of the bathroom pulling his hair into a bun.

“She’ll love that.” Clarke smiled as she pulled on a sundress from Roan’s wardrobe.

“She can be an artist like her mom.” He smiled slowly as he watched her.

“She can stop getting into my stuff.” She let out a small laugh at the multiple memories of finding Madi covered in paint after getting into Clarke’s art supplies.

“For your birthday, I want to take you away for the weekend.” He smiled closing the space between them, he cupped her face gently. “Just you and me.”

“I’d like that.” She looked up and kissed him slowly.

“We better go, Madi and Octavia are waiting for us.” He smiled pulling away slowly.

- - - -- - - -- - -

“Ro!!!” The little girl’s happy squeal carried throughout the house.

“Madz!” Roan chuckled and scooped up the little girl.

Clarke's heart melted at the sight of Roan cuddling Madi. She couldn’t help but see so much of Octavia in Madi especially when Madi’s long brown hair was braided out of her face.

“O did it.” Madi smiled as she showed Roan her hair proudly

“What else did aunty O teach you?” Octavia smiled as she came down the stairs slowly.

“Wake up and kick ass!” Madi giggled, balling her tiny hands up into fists and holding them up to Octavia causing Roan to let out a low chuckle.

“O, did you just teach my 2-year-old how to say ass?” Clarke raised an eyebrow at Octavia.

“Relax, she’s almost 3. Practically a grown woman.” Octavia laughed, raising her fists at Madi with a huge grin.

“Don’t say that.” Roan groaned quietly and kissed Madi’s head. “She’s staying this little forever.”

“Come on, Mom wants to say hi to you before we go.” Octavia nodded her head towards the kitchen.

Clarke walked into the kitchen slowly to find Aurora sitting at the counter drinking her morning coffee. Clarke used to find Aurora doing this when she was younger except it would be much earlier in the morning when she used to work for Pike. Aurora always seemed so tense those mornings but now she was relaxed and simply enjoying the moment. The simple fact that Clarke could make that happen made her beyond happy.

“Clarke.” Aurora smiled, pushing off her seat to give Clarke a hug.

“Thank you for looking after Madi last night. Hopefully, she behaved herself.” Clarke laughed quietly and hugged Aurora.

“I wanted to talk to you about Madi’s birthday.” Aurora smiled, sitting down slowly. “Roan.” She smiled at the tall male.

“Aurora, it’s good to see you.” Roan smiled as Madi cuddled into him more.

“I want to take Madi to the city, to the zoo actually. I thought that O and I could take her. make it a weekend trip.” Aurora smiled at Clarke before sharing a knowing look with Roan.

“I told her this morning.” Roan smiled slowly. “Aurora is going to take Madi the weekend we go away for your birthday.”

“Thank you.” Clarke smiled between the two of them before giving Roan a small kiss.

“Let’s go before asshole and bitch face wake up.” Octavia clapped her hands together slowly.

“Birdie?” Madi’s head popped up and she smiled at Clarke.

“Birdie is meeting us at the diner.” Clarke kissed Madi’s cheek gently.

“Who the fuck is Birdie?” Octavia’s brows raised as she looked at Clarke.

“Raven,” Clarke smirked slowly.

“Raven is going to be pissed if we’re late.” Octavia insisted, making it obvious she wanted to get out of the house before Bellamy and Echo woke up.

-----

Clarke smiled as she watched Roan run after Madi as she ran towards the playground. Octavia and Raven walked beside Clarke as they palmed cups of coffee they had gotten from the diner.

“He loves that little girl.” Octavia smiled as she nodded towards Roan.

“He’s practically her father,” Raven commented with a small smirk playing on her lips.

“Enough of this shit, who the fuck is her father?” Octavia stopped walking and shot Clarke a look. “I’m serious, none of this ‘it doesn’t matter’ shit. What are you going to do when Madi grows up and wants to know who her dad is? Are you going to tell her that it doesn’t matter?”

A long awkward silence hung between the three friends as they sat down on the bench, watching Roan help Madi on the slide.

“Just tell us.” Raven pleaded, unable to stand the awkward silence any longer.

“Bell knows doesn’t he?” Octavia leant forward to look passed Raven, so she could eye Clarke. “You get all antsy and fucking tense whenever he’s in town. So he has to know. Right?”

“It’s not fucking Finn, is it?” Raven’s head snapped to look at Clarke.

“It’s not Finn.” Clarke kept watching Roan and Madi play.

“Bell knows who it is.” Octavia nodded slowly before falling silent, her brow furrowing deeply. “I need to go,” Octavia spoke after another long silence, she got up letting her coffee cup drop.

“O, wait.” Clarke stood up immediately and followed Octavia as she raced down the path.

“When the fuck were you going to tell me that my brother is Madi’s father?” Octavia snapped, her eyes were filled with pain and tears.

“I couldn’t O.” Clarke pleaded.

“Why not?” Octavia raked her hand through her hair. “We’re supposed to be best friends.”

“I wish I could’ve told you, O.” Tears filled Clarke’s eyes as she watched Octavia.

“What else did you lie about?” Octavia threw her hands up in the air in frustration. “Just tell me the fucking truth, Clarke.”

Clarke raked her had down her face and sighed before taking a deep breath. Clarke took another deep breath, trying to gather the courage.

“We were together when he was home for Thanksgiving.” Clarke wiped away her tears. “I told him I was pregnant when he came home for Christmas and he didn’t want anything to do with it.”

“You should’ve just told me. We’re supposed to be best friends.” Octavia wiped away her own tears before turning on her heels and walking away.

“O, stop please.” Clarke pleaded and followed Octavia but stopped when she realized it was fruitless.

Chapter Text

Octavia refused to talk to Clarke for three whole weeks and Clarke felt horrible, they hadn’t ever gone this long without talking. Clarke didn’t know what to do, she’d texted, called and left voicemails begging Octavia to pick up or at least talk to her. Raven was talking to her but she was hurt that Clarke hadn’t told her either. Clarke understood why they were upset at her. She couldn’t say she lied because she didn’t. She withheld the truth. Was it one of her best decisions? Definitely not considering she felt like she had lost her best friend forever.

Clarke crawled into Roan’s bed after checking on Madi. Roan was still at work but Clarke had wanted to stay the night. She had been staying at his place every night since her fight with Octavia. A year ago, Roan had changed one of his spare rooms in his house into a bedroom for Madi. That was a big step for the both of them but neither of them regretted it. The step made feel comfortable that he wasn’t going to up and leave her at a moments notice. That was something that had terrified her since shit when down with Bellamy.

Her heart jumped when her phone rang, she hoped it was Octavia but she knew deep down that it wasn’t going to be. She sat up and looked at the caller Id, seeing Roan’s name flash up, a wave of disappointment washed over her.

“Hey.” She relaxed against the pillows as she answered.

“Hey Babe, I didn’t wake you did I?” Roan spoke loudly over the overpowering music in the bar.

“No, I just checked on Madi.” Clarke sighed quietly and ran her hand through her hair.

“Octavia’s here. She’s really drunk but she won't get in the cab or go home until she talks to you.” Roan spoke up but Clarke could hear Octavia shouting for Clarke in the background.

“Okay, I’ll get Ontari to come over to listen out for Madi and come pick O up.” Clarke got up slowly with a quiet sigh.

“You really trust Ontari with our girl?” His voice gave away his concern towards his neighbour watching Madi.

Ontari was Roan’s eighteen-year-old neighbour, Roan thought she was too hot-headed and rash. Ontari’s recklessness is what made panic surge through Roan every time Clarke suggested that they should get Ontari to watch Madi.

“Roan, Madi won't even wake up.” She put her phone on loudspeaker so she stripped off Roan’s shirt she had put on for bed. “I’ll pick Octavia up and bring her back here.”

“Ontari’s reckless.” He countered with another sigh.

“I know you’re worried but I won't be gone for long and I’ll have Ontari call me if Madi wakes up.” She pulled on a pair of jeans and a tank top.

“Fine.” Roan groaned. “Drive safe?”

“Always do.” Clarke smiled slowly as she hung up.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Clarke gave Tybe a small smile and a quick nod as she walked into the bar. Tybe was an older man with a strong face and heavy beard. Clarke always thought he looked pissed off and had only seen him crack into a smile once. Clarke had to come to a work meeting with Madi ahead of big music event, she was only a year old and stole everyone’s heart. Madi leant over Clarke’s shoulder and pulled on Tybe’s beard, Clarke panicked as she tried to untangle her daughter’s fingers from the older man’s beard. Tybe stared Madi down with an intimating look but Madi just grinned at him causing a small smile to sweep across his face. The smile only lasted a few seconds while Clarke finally freed Madi’s fingers.

Clarke made her way through the bar to find Roan coming out of the back room carrying a new case of beer with his signature stony, cold look. He wore this look the majority of the time. His walls are up, Clarke thought as she walked over to him, something must have happened.

“Hey.” Clarke offered him a small smile as she leant against the bar.

“Hey.” Roan gave her a small nod as he put the case of beer on the bench behind the bar.

“Roan?” Clarke frowned as she watched him slowly.

“She’s passed out in the office.” His voice was cold and his face still didn’t show any emotion.

“Roan.” She gave him a knowing look. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He shook his head as he wiped down the bar.

“Bullshit.” She stared him down.

“Nothing’s wrong.” He refused to look at her.

“Don’t do that.” Clarke shook her head as she watched him. “Don’t shut me out.”

It took a lot for Clarke and Roan to open up to each other. His walls used to be up constantly but he stopped having them up around Clarke a long time ago.

“Please.” She looked at him, her pain obvious in her face.

She walked behind the bar and pulled him into the back room. She pushes him to make him sit on the pile of beer cases. She sat on a pile opposite him. There was a long silence between them as Clarke watched him carefully, trying to read him. It was so hard to read him when he was like this.

“You’re going to find someone better. You deserve better.” Roan looked up at her slowly, his walls falling away slowly.

The fact that Roan, a strong, cold man, could let himself be sensitive and vulnerable in front of her just strengthened all the feelings she had for him. He trusted her and she trusted him.

His gaze fell to the floor as he cracked his knuckles nervously. This was his nervous tick when he was nervous, he’d do this over and over again until his hands hurt.

Clark pushes off the cases, closing the space between them. She gently placed her hands on each side of his face, lifting it gently. He looked at her slowly as her thumbs gently stroked his cheeks.

“I love you, Roan.” Clarke’s voice was soft but determined, it was the first time she was saying it out loud to him. “I know we haven’t spoken about our feelings before but I need you to know that I love you and I don’t want anyone else. Not now or ever.” She pressed her lips to his in a soft, sweet kiss.

“I love you.” His voice cracked slightly before he pulled her into his lap so that he could hold her and bury his face into the crook of her neck.

She traced lazy circles on his back as he continued to let him hold her. She knew he needed it. It was reassuring for him to have someone hold him, Clarke, especially. He’d grown up with next to no physical contact. His mother was a cold distant woman and never even told Roan that she loved him, not even once, she died without him even hearing those three words coming out of her mouth. That hurt him badly even though he’d never say it did, Clarke knew. That’s why he kept his walls so firmly up. The way he was raised made him weary and cold towards people. It was also the reason he told Madi that he loved her every day.

“What brought this up?” She asked quietly once he started to pull back slowly. She watched him slowly as she brushes the hair that had fallen out of its bun back behind his ear.

“Just something Octavia said. I should’ve paid any mind to it, she was drunk and rambling on.” He his eyes danced over her.

“I’m sorry.” She sighed quietly. “She can say some really hurtful things when she’s drunk.”

“It’s fine, Clarke.” He cupped her face and gently kissed her. “It just brought back some old shit.”

Luna, Clarke thought and gave Roan another kiss, hoping to push those memories aside for him.

“You better go get Octavia. I don’t want Madi left with Ontari any longer than she has to be.” He watched her slide off his lap before standing up slowly.

“I’ll see you at home.” She gave him one last kiss before heading to the door that led back into the main area of the bar.

“Clarke.” He spoke up, his voice made her stop and turn back. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She smiled at him before opening the door and walking out, making a beeline for the stairs that led to Roan’s office.

Clarke slipped into Roan’s office to find Octavia passed out on the lounge. Her dark hair was a mess around her face and her mouth hung open.

“O, wake up.” Clarke shook her gently.

“Clarke?” Octavia groaned as she opened her eyes.

“Yeah, I’m here.” Clarke brushed Octavia’s hair out of her face.

“I did something bad.” Octavia winced as she rubbed her head slowly. “I told Roan he didn’t deserve you and that you’d leave him for someone better.” She winced again.

“I know O.” Clarke frowned worriedly. “It’s okay.”

“He was so nice to me and I was a jerk to him.” Octavia groaned.

“It’s okay, he knows you didn’t mean it.” Clarke stroked Octavia’s hair gently. “Come on, you can spend the night with me.”

“I need you to tell me everything.” Octavia sat up slowly.

“I will in the morning.” Clarke pressed her lips into a thin line.

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Clarke yawned as she finished making breakfast for her and Octavia. Clarke knew this breakfast was exactly what Octavia needed with the hangover she was bound to be nursing.

“Everything hurts.” Octavia groaned as she stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“Here.” Clarke handed Octavia a glass of water and painkillers.

“O!” Madi squealed as she ran into the kitchen, throwing her arms around Octavia’s legs.

“Hey, munchkin,” Octavia spoke quietly, still wincing at the noise as she rubbed the little girl’s head.

“Morning Octavia.” Roan smiled as he walked into the kitchen. “We’re heading off but we’ll see you tonight for dinner.” He gave Clarke a quick kiss.

“Morning. Hey, I’m sorry for the shit I said last night.” Octavia bit her lip, remembering how harsh and rude she had been last night.

“Don’t worry about it, you were really drunk last night.” Roan offered her a friendly smile.

“You two have fun today.” Clarke scooped up Madi into a hug and gave her a kiss. “I love you baby girl.”

“Love you.” Madi grinned as Clarke put her down again.

“I love you.” Roan kisses the side of Clarke’s head.

“Love you too.” Clarke smiled and watched him leave holding Madi’s hand.

“Where are they going?” Octavia asked quietly as Clarke handed her a plate of food.

“Twice a month, Roan takes Madi out for the day, just the two of them. He thinks it’s important to them to have one on one time.” Clarke walked to the table with her own plate of food.

“That’s cute,” Octavia commented as she sat down opposite Clarke. “I want you to tell me everything that happened between you and Bell.”

“Okay.” Clarke nodded and took a deep breath. “It started when Bell came home for two weeks for Thanksgiving after I walked in on Lexa in bed with Costia.”

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Clarke frantically knocked on the front door of the Blake house, usually, the door was unlocked and she would just walk in but today it was locked. The door suddenly flew open and Bellamy was standing there with an annoyed look on his face. The look morphed into one of concern when he finally took in Clarke’s appearance.

“Is Octavia here?” Clarke’s voice broke as she spoke.

“You just missed her, she’s gone out with Atom.” Bellamy frowned slowly. “What’s going on?”

“It’s okay, I’ll just keep trying to call her.” She didn’t want to burden him with her stupid teen drama shit, he was in college and had left that kind of stuff well behind him.

“No point, she left her phone here.” He nodded his head back to gesture for her to come inside. “I’ve known you forever Clarke, I care about you too.”

It was an unexpected gesture of gentleness, usually, he would tease her, calling her princess because her parents were rich and nit picking her for the smallest things. He hadn’t called her princess since her dad died six months ago. She was kind of thankful for that.

“Thank you.” She walked inside with him slowly.

Clarke soon found out that Aurora wasn’t home either. They sat on the couch together while she went over every detail of her brief relationship with Lexa and what she had walked in on. She poured out her feelings to him and he offered her kind words, reassuring her that Lexa was the one who was fucked up.

“Do I have a sign on my forehead that says Date me and fuck me over?” Clarke threw up her arms frustrated.

“No Clarke.” Bellamy chuckled and shook his head. “You’re forehead is perfect.”

Clarke’s looked him in the eyes for a long time. She couldn’t lie she had a crush on him for a long time. She wanted to kiss him so bad but she couldn’t, Octavia would hate her for it and he wouldn’t want that either, he still saw her as a kid.

Clarke was lost in her own confusing thoughts when Bellamy’s lips came crashing down to her. It took a second for Clarke to register what was happening before she gave in and started to kiss him back.

His strong hands found her waist, pulling her onto his lap. His hands began to explore her body as their kiss became more heated. His fingers began to play with the hem of her shirt, she pulled back the kiss and nodded at him. He made quick work of getting her shirt off and she pulled his shirt off as soon as she was free of hers. He unclasped her bra and she pulled it off quickly.

“Clarke,” Bellamy growled a low primal sound as he took in the sight of her in front of him shirtless.

Clarke whimpered into his mouth as laid her down on the couch and began to undo her pants. He began to kiss down her body as her nervous hands found their way to tangle into his hair. When her pants and panties were off leaving her naked, she had the urge to cover up. She began to move to cover up but his strong hands stopped her.

“You’re beautiful.” He breathes as he took in the sight of her naked in front of him.

She crushed her lips against his, urging him for more. He had gotten naked himself in record time and hovered his body over hers, she could feel the heat from his body radiating off his body on her bare skin.

“Are you sure?” His voice was quiet as he watched her carefully, trying to detect any hesitation from her.

Clarke nodded unable to find words. She kissed him, slow at first but her kisses became more heated fuelled by a burning need. She held back her wince when he entered her, god it hurt. A wince escapes her lips involuntarily when he pushes through her previously intact hymen. He stopped moving and watched her carefully.

“Are you okay?” He asked quietly, she could tell hear the worried tone in his voice.

“Yeah.” She gave him a small smile as she ran her fingers through his hair.

Afterwards, they had both gotten dressed again, worried that Aurora or Octavia would come home.

I just lost my virginity to Bellamy, Clarke thought as Bellamy went into the kitchen to make them some hot chocolate. Clarke had always wondered what her first time would be like. It was better than what she thought it was going to be, the pain had passed quickly and he was so gentle.

The week that followed had been amazing, Clarke was sleeping over with Octavia almost every night. When everyone had gone to bed, she’d sneak into Bellamy’s room. They’d have sex, cuddle and talk a lot.

“Bellamy?” Clarke asked quietly one night as she laid in bed with him with her head on his chest.

“Mm?” Bellamy hummed as he played with her hair with her arm he had firmly wrapped around her.

“You’re probably going to think I’m stupid.” She looked up at him slowly. “I love you.”

A smile played on his lips before he presses a kiss to the top of her head.

“I love you too.” He spoke quietly as his hand dance down her back before pulling her closer.

Clarke didn’t think things could get better but they had. Bellamy loved her. It made his impending departure back to college worse despite the fact that she knew he’d be back in a few weeks for Christmas.

Clarke loved the fact that since she had said it to him, Bellamy had taken every opportunity to tell her that he loved her. It made Clarke’s heart flutter every time he said it.

The night before Bellamy was due to go back to college, Clarke slipped into Bellamy’s room like she had done every night for the last two weeks. She wanted to savour every moment with him.

“Clarke? What the hell are you doing here?” Bellamy’s gaze snapped up from his bag where he was packing his things so it was ready for him to leave in the morning.

“I wanted to spend some time with you before you go back. I mean it’s going to be three weeks before I see you again.” Clarke spoke timidly, unnerved by his reaction towards her.

“Really?” He let out a chuckle as he ran his hand through his hair.

“Yeah, I thought you’d want to.” She shrugged nervously as she stayed by the closed door.

“Wait, you actually thought this,” he gestured between them. “Was real?”

She could already feel the tears beginning to well up in her eyes as she watched him.

“I have a girlfriend on campus.” He ran his hand through his hair again. “I was using you, Princess, just because I didn’t want to have to go without getting laid.” He chuckled again causing her to wince silently.

Clarke wanted to find the words to say to him but she couldn’t. Her heart wasn’t being broken, it was being torn from her chest and set alight.

“You made it so easy, princess. I barely had to do any work.” He smirked. “A bonus is that I get to tell everyone that I deflowered the Princess.” He let out a louder laugh this time. “In case it wasn’t obvious enough, I don’t love, never did. I mean how could I? Look at yourself.” He gestured his hand up and down at her. “You’re a sad, desperate little girl. No wonder Lexa decided to fuck Costia. She’s actually lucky she didn’t actually fuck you because you’re pretty fucking terrible in bed. It’s actually depressing. Hands down the worst I’ve ever had.”

Clarke slipped out of the room before he could see her crying. She managed to slip back into Octavia’s room. She shook Octavia awake gently.

“I have to go home, O. My mom is flipping out.” Clarke lied easily without any emotion.

“Okay, are coming back in the morning to say goodbye to Bell?” Octavia’s voice cracked as she spoke from just being woken up.

“No, he’s still up, I’ve already said goodbye.” Clarke lied again, she hasn’t said goodbye but he said his fuck you to her.

“Okay, text me tomorrow Kay?” Octavia mumbled closing her eyes again.

“Yeah.” Clarke nodded and slipped out of the house.

She waited until she got home and into her bedroom to break down into tears. Her chest ached and the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. On top of everything, she couldn’t talk to anyone about it. She curled up into a ball and cried herself to sleep.

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“How did I not know?” Octavia asked after Clarke had told her about her relationship with Bellamy and their break up.

“We were good at hiding it.” Clarke shrugged slowly.

Clarke felt a sense of relief finally telling Octavia about the incident, she couldn’t call it a break up because it wasn’t it was worse then a break up. Bestowing the ominous name of the incident felt fitting to Clarke.

“He said all of those things to you and you’ve kept this all to yourself? I could’ve helped you, Clarke.” Octavia looked at Clarke sadly.

“I didn’t want to tell you that I actually believed your brother loved me. I felt stupid and used.” Clarke sighed and run his hands through her hair.

“What happened when you told him you were pregnant?” Octavia wanted to know everything, no matter how mad at Bellamy it made her.

“You’re not going to like it,” Clarke warned.

“Tell me.” Octavia pushed.

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Clarke couldn’t believe it, she didn’t want to believe. It was just her fucking luck, Bellamy using mother fucking bastard Blake had gotten her pregnant. The little fucking pink plus sign that showed up on the 15th test she had taken in the last week.

Bellamy had come back to town two days ago and Clarke had avoided the Blake house like the plague, avoiding what she needed to do.

She picked a time when she knew Octavia and Aurora would be out of the house. She knocked angrily on the front door of the Blake house after she found it locked. The door flung open and Bellamy looked taken back.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He grimaced. “Didn’t get enough humiliation last time?”

“I’m pregnant, asshole.” Clarke snapped, no longer embarrassed or overcome with hurt but rather pissed off instead.

“You’re what?” He looked confused.

“Pregnant, what Bellamy? Are you thick?” Clarke crossed her arms. “We didn’t use protection the first time.”

“How do I know it’s mine?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

Fucking hell, he’s a cocky Bustard, Clarke thought. God, he was so fucking Infuriating. It used all of her might to not punch him in the face.

“I was a fucking virgin and do you really think I’d want to sleep with anyone else after the anticlimactic experience I had with you?” She raised her eyebrow, knowing the fact that she was bringing up that he never made her cum would bruise his ego.

“What do you want me to Princess?” His voice gave away the fact that Clarke had indeed bruise his ego. “It’s not like you need me to help pay for you to get rid of it. It’s only fucking pocket change to you.” He snapped pissed off. “Fuck, Clarke I knew you were stupid but fucking hell. How dumb do you have to be to get knocked up on your first time?”

The anger within Clarke was beginning to boil over, she really wanted to punch him so bad. She took a deep breath trying to remain calm.

“Get rid of it.” He spoke through his teeth.

“You know what, Bellamy. Telling you was a mistake.” She shook her head slowly.

“Get rid of it, Clarke.” His voice was getting angrier. “You’re not fucking fit to be a mother. I feel sorry for any kid who ever has to have you as their Mom. The best thing you can ever do for it is to get an abortion.”

Clarke punched him square in the face before turning on her heels and heading back to her car.

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There was a long silence after Clarke finished telling Octavia what had happened when she told Bellamy she was pregnant.

“Holy shit.” Was all Octavia managed to say.

“That’s everything that happened between us,” Clarke spoke quietly.

Chapter Text

Clarke and Octavia spent the rest of the day talking about everything, mainly about Octavia’s feelings about what had happened.

“I’m so angry with him, Clarke. I could’ve helped you, but he made you feel so unlovable and used.” Octavia slammed her hands down onto the table. “Madi is my niece and he told you to get rid of her.” Octavia stood up and started to pace the dining room. “At least you and Madi have Roan. He’s hundred times the man Bellamy ever will be.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about this.” Clarke started to break down and cry.

“Clarke.” Octavia immediately went over and hugged her tightly. “I don’t blame you for not telling me, what Bellamy did was horrible and disgusting.” Octavia let her friend cry.

Clarke cried for what seemed like forever and god she needed it, it was three years of pent-up pain that she had pushed down. Octavia just kept talking to her about it and letting Clarke getting everything off her chest.

“Do you think I could stay with you for awhile? I really don’t want to be around Bellamy at the moment and Lincoln is coming tomorrow.” Octavia asked quietly after they relaxed watching tv.

“Yeah, tomorrow, you and Lincoln can just stay at my apartment, I’m here all the time anyway. That way you two can have some privacy.” Clarke wiggled her eyebrows at Octavia with a giggle.

“We’re definitely going to need it.” Octavia laughed. “Can you take me home so I can pick up some stuff?”

“Yup, let's go now. We can pick up take out on the way back.” Clarke got up off the couch and stretched.

————— ———- ————-

Clarke pulled up at the Blake house and got out slowly with Octavia. She stopped and stared at the house in front of her, the memories of the incident flooding her mind.

“Clarke?” Octavia’s voice broke Clarke out of her thoughts. “You don’t have to come in if you don’t want to.”

“It’s okay.” Clarke gave her a reassuring smile. “Today just brought back a lot of memories.”

“It’s okay if you want to wait in the car.” Octavia watched her friend carefully.

“I’m okay, honestly.” Clarke gave her another smile. “Besides, someone has to stop you from killing your brother.”

“Damn straight.” Octavia walked up to the house with Clarke slowly.

Standing on the front steps of the Blake house made memories flooded her mind again.

—- —— —— —— —-

Tears streamed down Clarke’s face as she knocked on the front door of the Blake house. It was very late on Christmas Eve, she wanted to avoid Bellamy but she had nowhere else to go. Clarke’s mother, Abby had found one of Clarke’s pregnancy in the trash can in Clarke’s bathroom and kicked Clarke out. Abby had put a timer on for half an hour, giving Clarke that time to pack up her things and leave.

Aurora opened the door slowly to find Clarke standing there with a duffle bag crying.

“Clarke? Come inside, it’s freezing outside.” Aurora guided Clarke inside quickly.

“My mum kicked me out.” Clarke sobbed and Aurora immediately pulled Clarke into a hug.

“Well you know you’re always welcome in this house.” Aurora put Clarke’s bag down and led her to the kitchen. “I was just making some hot chocolate before bed.”

Aurora poured them both a mug before sitting at the counter with Clarke. Clarke had started to calm down slowly.

“What happened?” Aurora asked quietly.

“I’m pregnant.” Clarke’s voice was barely louder than a whisper. “My mum found the test in the trash. She gave me 30 minutes to pack up my things and leave.”

“You’re always welcome here sweetheart.” Aurora rubbed Clarke’s back gently. “Do you know how far along you are? Have you been to the doctors yet?”

“Yeah, I went yesterday, they did an ultrasound.” Clarke took a deep breathe slowly. “I’m eight weeks along, so far everything is healthy but the doctor said it’s still early.”

“What about the father? Does he know?” Aurora asked quietly.

“He knows, he told me to have an abortion.” Clarke but back new tears. “I want to keep the baby. I know it’s a big responsibility and I’m only sixteen but this is my baby.”

“I was only a year older than you when I was making the same decision and I’m not going to lie, it’s been hard but it’s worth it. I don’t regret Bellamy for one second.” Aurora offered her a gentle smile. “And you won’t regret your baby for a second either.” Aurora hugged Clarke tightly. “I guess I’m going to be a grandma.”

Clarke looked at Aurora shocked for a second, trying to piece together how and if Aurora knew Bellamy was the father.

“I see you as my daughter, Clarke.” Aurora smiled slowly. “Of course I’m going to see and treat this baby like my own grandchild. You should get some sleep, it’s late.”

Aurora smiled as Clarke hugged her one last time and whispered a thank you before going upstairs to Octavia’s room.

—— ——- ——- ——- ——- ——-

Clarke had spent the entire Christmas Day avoiding Bellamy which became the norm for her since then.

Clarke helped Octavia pack up her clothes into a duffle bag. They had managed to avoid Bellamy so far, which Clarke was thankful for not for her sake, she was used to encountering him by now but more for Octavia’s sake. Octavia’s feelings were still fresh and raw, Clarke knew she’d go off immediately. Honestly, although Bellamy deserved to be screamed and yelled at, Clarke just didn’t want to deal with that.

They were about to start walking down the stairs when Bellamy’s voice echoed from the kitchen. Clarke could see the anger boiling inside Octavia.

“O, let’s just go.” Clarke watched her friend slowly.

“No, Clarke fuck him.” Octavia raced down the stairs dropping her bag at the bottom. “Well look what we have here.” Octavia walked into the kitchen to find Echo and Bellamy sitting at the counter.

“Hey O.” Bellamy smiled slowly at Octavia.

“Don’t fucking hey me.” Octavia snapped, there was a dangerous tone in her voice, one she only used when she was really angry. “So when were you going to tell me?”

“Tell you what?” Bellamy looked confused.

“That you’re Madi’s Father.” Octavia’s voice was still in quiet dangerous tone.

“You told her!” Bellamy snapped loudly at Clarke, who just stood there uninflected by him yelling at her.

“Don’t you fucking dare yell at her! After all the fucking things you said to her!” Octavia yelled back closing the space between them. “You’re the reason why we didn’t know that Madi is actually my niece and Mom’s granddaughter.”

“She had no right to tell you.” Bellamy’s voice was quiet for a second. “You’re my family, not hers!” He yelled again pointing at Clarke.

“You’re a selfish, self-centred, deluded, poor excuse for a man.” Octavia’s tone sent shivers down her spine. “I’m ashamed that you’re my brother.”

Octavia turned on her heels and stormed out of the house. Clarke picked up Octavia’s bag and followed her outside.

Neither of them expected Bellamy to storm out after them. Clarke expected him to go to Octavia but he marched straight up to her. He stood uncomfortably close to her as he looked down on her.

“You had no fucking right!” He snapped down at her.

“Go fuck yourself, Bellamy.” Clarke looked right up at him, not intimidated but him a single bit.

“They’re my family!” He yelled again.

“They’re my family too, Bellamy!” Clarke screamed back. “When I fell pregnant with Madi, my mom kicked me out and hasn’t spoken to me since. She was the only family I had left until your mom reminded me that I was apart of her family.” Clarke got in her car as she wiped away the tears streaming down her face.

“Clarke? Are you okay?” Octavia asked worried as they started to drive.

“Yeah, just frustrated at him.” Clarke sighed. “Madi is his daughter and I would never stop him from spending time with her. Hell, I’d even let fucking Echo spend time with both. Deep down I had been holding out hope that it’ll happen. After today, I don’t think so.” Clarke rubbed her forehead slowly.

“I’ll make him come to reason,” Octavia said in her usual determined voice. “We should go out tomorrow night, Lincoln will be here and I think you need a drink.”

“That actually sounds really good.” Clarke smiled at her friend, thankful to have her. “I do have one rule for you and Lincoln in my apartment.”

“What is it?” Octavia gave Clarke the side eye.

“No sex in Madi’s room. Do it everywhere else in the apartment just not her room.” Clarke tried to hold back her laugh.

“I would never!” Octavia faked being offended.

“Bullshit, I caught you two getting hot and heavy in her room last year.” Clarke raised an eyebrow at her.

“He just looked so cute with Madi all day. She was asleep anyway.” Octavia laughed.

Their laughter lasted until they arrived at the restaurant to pick up dinner.

“I’m actually excited for Lincoln and Roan to meet. I think it’ll be interesting.” Clarke smiled as they walked inside the restaurant.

“They’re going to bromance, I can already feel it.” Octavia laughed.

Clarke quickly placed their order and they sat down to wait for their order. Clarke’s phone began to ring.

“Hello?” Clarke answered without checking the caller id.

“Hey babe, Madi and I are on our way home now. Did you want me to pick up dinner?” Roan’s voice gave away how tired he was.

“O and I are already picking up dinner. O is going to spend the night again if that’s okay?” Clarke bit her lip.

“Of course, Madi will love that.” Roan let out a chuckle.

“Thank you. Lincoln’s coming tomorrow so I offered them my placed to stay at.” Clarke ran her hand through her hair.

“It’s our home, you don’t need to ask me if it’s okay.” Roan’s words made her heart melt.

“I’ll see you at home. Drive safe okay?” Clarke smiled slowly.

“Always,” Roan spoke quietly. “I love you, Clarke.”

“I love you too.” Clarke smiled and hung up.

“You two are cute.” Octavia smiled. “He looks so scary when he’s not around you.”

Chapter Text

Clarke loved the mornings when Madi would wake up and just want to crawl into bed with her for a cuddle, Madi would usually drift off to sleep again for another hour or so. She loved watching her daughter sleep, the way her little face scrunched up when she was having a dream and how her dark brown, almost black hair would be everywhere, much like Octavia's hair would, Madi definitely got her hair from the Blake side of the family. Her eyes were identical to Clarke's blue-green eyes but almost every other feature came from Bellamy including her naturally tanned skin. Clarke could see the resemblance between Madi and her father from birth. Madi's face was speckled with freckles which she had gotten from her father, Clarke was glad for that, she loved Bellamy's freckles and they suited Madi's tan skin perfectly.

When it came to Madi's personality, Clarke always thought that she was a mini Octavia through and through. Except for Madi's stubbornness, she definitely got that from Clarke. The one thing that Madi did that absolutely melted Clarke's heart was when Madi was thinking about something, she'd purse her lips, furrow her brow, narrow her eyes and wrinkle her nose. This was inherited from both the Blake's and Clarke, Bellamy would furrow his brow when he was thinking, both Clarke and Octavia would narrow their eyes, Aurora Blake was notorious for pursing her lips when she was thinking. The wrinkling of the nose was comical for Clarke because Madi would do this a lot ever since she was a baby, she did it when she was both happy and sad. Madi was definitely not a morning person but neither was her mother or her Aunt, Octavia, it took Madi at least an hour after waking up for her to start to perk up, she usually like to spend this hour cuddled up on someone's lap.

"Mommy?" Madi asked quietly as she turned to face her mother, still laying in Roan's bed.

"Yeah, baby?" Clarke smiled and brushed Madi's hair out of her face causing Madi to smile and wrinkle her nose.

"See Bell?" Madi asked as she watched her mother slowly.

"Who's Bell baby?" Clarke frowned slightly, she knew who Madi was talking about but wanted confirmation.

"O big brother." Madi grinned as she rolled her Rs.

"You want to go see Bell today?" Clarke watched her daughter carefully as Madi pulled her signature thinking face.

"Yup!" Madi grinned widely scrunching up her nose. "And Nana!"

Aurora had encouraged Madi to call her Nana since the little girl could talk and Clarke didn't oppose it in the slightest. Deep down, Clarke always wondered it Aurora had some kind of inkling that Madi was her biological granddaughter. Clarke had been constantly battling the guilt of not telling Aurora since the day she told her she was pregnant. Aurora always considered Madi her grandchild even before she was born, so maybe she did know. Clarke knew she had to talk to Aurora about it but she was scared that Aurora would hate her for keeping it a secret.

"Okay, you can see Bell and Nana today." Clarke kissed the top of Madi's head gently. "Want to go see if Aunty O is awake? Mommy will go help Ro with breakfast."

Madi jumped out of the bed and ran out of the room, her long messy dark hair bouncing as she ran. Clarke rolled out of bed slowly, she got changed into a pair of shorts and band tee from a concert she went to with Octavia when they were fifteen. Clarke had surprised Octavia with the tickets for her birthday after she was disappointed that she couldn't afford the ticket. Clarke pulled up half of her hair into a bun before going downstairs slowly.

"Morning." Clarke smiled and got up on her toes slightly to kiss Roan's cheek gently which caused a smiled to creep onto his face as he stirred a pan of scrambled eggs.

"Morning Babe." Roan smiled as he watched her get the plates out for breakfast.

"So Madi asked me to take her to go see Bellamy today." Clarke lent against the bench as she chewed on her bottom lip.

"I guess she met him when she was at Aurora's." Roan shrugged slowly. "Maybe it's a good thing, he's obviously made an impression on Madz."

"What if he says no? Or all of a sudden want nothing to do with her after building a relationship with her? It'll break her heart." She bit back tears. "I want him in her life but I want him to want it, I don't want to force him to be her father if he doesn't want to." she wiped away a tear that escaped despite her efforts to stop it.

"Have you spoken to him to see if he wants to be in her life?" Roan asked quietly, he knew the answer already but he was the voice of reason for her.

"You're right, I need to just talk to him." She took a deep breath calming her self down. "Why are you so god damn smart?"

"I want what's best for Madi." He took the pan off the stove before standing in front of Clarke. "As much as I don't like Bellamy, he's Madi's father, he has a right to be in her life." he gently stroked Clarke's cheek before giving her a gentle kiss. "Go over after breakfast, Octavia and I will stay here with Madi."

"Okay." She nodded slowly. "Thank you." she snaked her arms around his waist and buried her head in his chest.

"Eww! Mummy and Roan are being lovey-dovey!" Octavia's voice made them apart.

"Yucky!" Madi laughed as she pulled a disgusted face with Octavia.

Clarke couldn't help but laugh because Madi looked like Octavia's mini-me, they were pulling the exact same face and their hair was messed up in the exact same way.

"Madi, you look just like your aunty O." Clarke walked over and kissed Madi's cheek gently as Octavia balanced the toddler on her hip.

"Yeah!" Madi squealed happily as she threw her arms in the air, wrinkling her nose as she grinned.

Clarke pulled a twisted face as Roan walked passed with the eggs, she put a hand on her stomach and cover her mouth as she turned away from the smell.

“You okay, Clarke?” Octavia frowned deeply as she readjusted Madi on her hip.

“Yeah,” Clarke spoke quietly in an unconvincing tone.

“Wait.” Octavia paused as she narrowed her eyes, thinking. “You’re not pregnant, are you?” Octavia moved to make sure she was in the line of sight of her friend.

“No.” Clarke shook her head with her eyes closed.

“The smell of eggs always made you sick when you were pregnant with Madi.” Octavia watched Clarke carefully, trying to examine her friend’s body language carefully.

“I’m not pregnant, O.” Clarke opened her eyes to look at her friend. “Let’s just have breakfast okay.”

Clarke sat down at the dining table slowly next to Roan. Roan’s eyes followed her carefully as she started to eat.

“Come on Madz, did you want to sit next to Me or O?” Roan asked Madi quietly.

“O!” Madi squealed happily, bouncing in Octavia’s arms.

Octavia was still looking at Clarke weirdly as she sat down with Madi to eat breakfast.

“Then why are you sick from the smell of eggs?” Octavia frowned at her friends.

Clarke sighed as pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head slowly.

“O, you’ve gotta miss your period to be pregnant.” Clarke looked at her friend with raised eyebrows.

“You don’t necessarily have to miss your period to be pregnant, I’ve been watching I didn’t know I was pregnant and like all of them had their period the whole time.” Octavia kept watching Clarke trying to read her body language again.

“O, can we please drop the subject?” Clarke pleaded. “I’m going to talk to your brother after breakfast.”

“What? Why?” Octavia stared at Clarke confused.

“Madi asked if she can go see him today and I want to talk to him before I take her over there,” Clarke explained as she finished the last of her eggs, trying not to grimace at the smell before picking up her last piece of toast. “Madi, maybe while mommy is gone, Aunty O can do your hair?”

“Yeah!” Madi giggles wrinkling her nose.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Clarke knocked on the front door of the Blake house and shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans. She had kept the band tee on and just threw a pair of jeans on, so she looked halfway decent.

Bellamy opened the front door slowly, his eyes traced over her carefully.

“Hey Bellamy, can we talk?” Clarke asked quietly as she rubbed the back of her neck.

“Hey umm... Yeah, come in.” Bellamy stepped aside to let Clarke in, he watched her slowly as she walked in. “Did you want some coffee?”

“Yeah, that’ll be great.” Clarke followed him to the kitchen and sat at the counter.

Bellamy poured two cups of coffee and slid one over to counter to her before sitting on the stool next to her.

“I want to talk without us fighting, okay?” Clarke spoke quietly as she watched him carefully and palmed her cup of coffee.

“Yeah.” He nodded slowly before looking down at his coffee.

“I wanted to talk to you about Madi.” Clarke watched him slowly, she watched him carefully as he slouched his shoulders.

Clarke could really read his body language easily in this moment of time, she could tell he felt ashamed. She wished she could read him all the time, it might have been easier to talk to him over the years.

“Our daughter asked if she could see you. She wants to see Bell.” Clarke couldn’t help but smile at the memory of Madi asking to see Bellamy.

“Really?” His posture perked up a little bit and a smile played on his lips as he finally looked at Clarke, the smile still playing on his lips.

“Yeah, you seemed to have made an impression on her.” Clarke offered him a small smile, they were fighting and that was a good sign. “Bellamy, I need to know something first.”

“Okay.” Bellamy nodded slowly and took a long sip of his coffee.

“Do you want to be in her life? I’m not talking about just being there during the summer and the holidays, I’m talking about being there for her as her father. Coming to see her when you go back.” Clarke watched him carefully and took a deep breath.

“I want to be her dad.” Bellamy took a nervous breath. “I haven’t been there before but I want to be there now. I want to make up for it.”

“You can start today.” Clarke nodded slowly.

She was thankful that he wanted to be there for Madi, she knew they had a very long way to go but baby steps. She could be happy with baby steps for now.

“I’m sorry Clarke.” Bellamy furrowed his brow as he watched her carefully.

“I can’t forgive you yet, there’s a lot that we still need to talk about but I’m not ready yet.” Clarke closed her eyes slowly fighting back tears slowly. “I’ll drop Madi by later, she can stay the night.” She got up off her stool slowly. “Where’s your Mom?”

“She’s in the backyard, gardening.” Bellamy watched her slowly as she started to walk towards the back door. “Hey, Clarke?”

“Yeah?” Clarke turned back to look at him as she bit her lip slowly.

Her emotions were running high today and talk, actually talking to Bellamy made them even worse.

“Thank you.” Bellamy offered her a small smile before she nodded and walked out into the backyard.

Clarke shoved her hands in her pockets as she walked through the backyard to Aurora’s rose garden where she was doing some weeding.

“Hey, Clarke.” Aurora smiled kindly as Clarke sat crossed legged next to Aurora.

“Hey.” Clarke smiled slowly before looking down frowning. “Can I talk to you?”

“Of course you can Clarke, you can talk to me about anything.” Aurora smiled and took her gardening gloves off slowly, sitting back making herself comfortable.

Clarke couldn’t find the words, she bit back tears as she picked at the grass.

“Clarke? What’s wrong?” Aurora frown worried as her eyes danced over Clarke as she pursed her lips thinking.

“You’re going to hate me,” Clarke whispered as tears escaped her eyes, she looked up blinking away tears and wiped away her tears.

“Clarke, I could never hate you,” Aurora spoke kindly as she reached into her pocket and handed Clarke a clean tissue.

Clarke gladly took the tissue and wiped her eyes with it. Clarke took a deep breath trying to gather more courage to say what she needed to.

“Bellamy is Madi’s father.” Clarke started crying again as she spoke, looking down ashamed for not telling her sooner.

“Oh sweetheart, I knew the moment I saw Madi. She’s a Blake through and through.” Aurora smiled and lifted Clarke’s chin gently. “Besides I saw the way you two were looking at each other the thanksgiving before Madi was born.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Clarke started to sob again.

“Clarke, it’s okay.” Aurora pulled Clarke into a tight hug. “I knew you would tell me when you were ready.”

Clarke pulled away and wiped her tears away. She felt like a huge weight had been taken off her chest, she exhaled a long breath. A suffocating weight had been on her chest for over three years and she finally felt free from the guilt she was carrying around with her since she found out she was pregnant.

Chapter Text

Dropping off Madi willingly to Bellamy felt weird but she knew she could relax knowing that Aurora was going to be there the whole time. Clarke wanted to see if she could trust Bellamy with Madi before even contemplating leaving her alone with him. She wasn’t worried about Bellamy spending time per se but rather his decisions regarding her. Deep down, Clarke worried that Echo was vindictive enough to hurt her daughter but knew Aurora wouldn’t let anything happen to Madi. 

The thoughts flooded her mind as they drove away from the Blake house. She snapped out of her thoughts when Roan took his hand off the wheel so he could take her hand in his and kissed it gently. Clarke relaxed and smiled at Roan slowly. They had left Octavia at the house because she wanted to wait for Lincoln to arrive. Roan drove straight from the Blake house to the grocery store. 

Clarke leant her head against Roan’s arm as pushed the cart down the aisle. They broke apart after the first aisle. Gathering the bits and pieces they needed. 

“I was thinking.” Roan broke their comfortable silence and Clarke hummed in response as he threw things in the cart. “Your lease is up in a week, what if you don’t renew it and move in with me?” He started to crack his knuckles, making it obvious to Clarke that he was nervous. 

“I’d like that.” Clarke smiled at him slowly and watched him visibly relax, letting a small smile come across his face. 

Clarke had completely forgotten that her lease was coming to an end but she was happy that it led to Roan asking her to move in.

The comfortable silence fell over them again until they came to the baby aisle, Clarke was preoccupied grabbing new sippy cups and soap for Madi. 

“Clarke?” Roan’s voice made Clarke turn to her attention to him. 

Roan was shifting nervously as he held a box of pregnancy tests. His eyes never quite met hers at this moment. 

“Yeah.” Clarke nodded slowly, she was just as nervous as him. 

Roan put the box in the cart before wrapping his arm around her waist and kissed the side of her head gently. Clarke relaxed against him, although her nerves were wrecked. She hadn’t even realized that it was a possibility for her being pregnant until Octavia kept bringing it up this morning.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lincoln and Octavia were sitting in the lounge room cuddled together when Clarke and Roan walked back inside with their groceries. They put the bags down on the dining room table.

“Lincoln, it’s good to see you.” Clarke smiled as she walked into the lounge and hugged Lincoln.

“Clarke.” Lincoln chuckled as he hugged her. “It’s good to see you too. How’s Madi?”

“She’s good, she’s grown so much since the last time you saw her.” Clarke smiled as Roan walked into the lounge room, he froze when he saw Lincoln.

“Roan?” Lincoln looked just as confused.

“You two know each other?” Octavia looked between both men confused as she narrowed her eyes at them.

“Yeah… Um…” Lincoln stuttered unsure how to explain this.

“I’m his cousin’s ex-husband,” Roan spoke in an emotionless tone, his expression turning stoic.

“Oh okay.” Octavia frowned slowly.

“Water under the bridge. It’s been nine years; I just didn’t expect to see you.” Lincoln offered Roan a hand.

“Yeah me either.” Roan visibly relaxed the tension in his shoulders released as he shook Roan’s hand. “Can I get you a beer?” This was a peace offering to Lincoln.

“Yeah, that’ll be great.” Lincoln smiled and followed Roan to the kitchen.

“Why don’t you two go out back? It’s a nice afternoon and you two can catch up.” Clarke suggested as she followed them to the kitchen and started unpacking the groceries.

“That’ll be good.” Lincoln nodded slowly.

Lincoln was the time of person who wanted to make things right with people. He definitely wasn’t the time to hold grudges. Roan and Lincoln started to talking as they walked outside. Clarke made quick work of putting away the groceries except she left the bag with the pregnancy test in it.

“Can I borrow some condoms?” Octavia leant against the bench as Clarke finished putting the last of the groceries away.

“Yeah, I’ll have to see if we have some.” Clarke grabbed the other grocery bag and walked upstairs slowly with Octavia close behind her.

“How would not have some? You and Roan go at it like rabbits.” Octavia laughed and followed Clarke into Roan’s room.

“We don’t always use them.” Clarke shrugged slowly and opened the top drawer of Roan’s bedside table, she retrieved an almost empty box of condoms. “Here, there’s four in here.” She passed Octavia the box and sat on the bed slowly.

“So what’s the story with Roan and Lincoln’s cousin?” Octavia sat on the bed cross-legged.

“Roan and Luna got married when he was 19, they didn’t have the best relationship. A year into their marriage, Luna wanted out, she had fallen in love with one of Roan’s friends. Luna was 13 weeks pregnant with Roan’s baby. Luna got an abortion and ran off with Roan’s friend. It messed Roan up a lot.” Clarke ran her hand through her hair.

“That’s messed up.” Octavia let a sigh taking in the information. “Luna fucked over Roan and Bellamy fucked you over, it’s a match made in heaven.” Octavia deadpanned looking Clarke in the eyes. 

“That’s so messed up O.” Clarke tried her best to stifle her laughter.

“Any whore, what times dinner?” Octavia smiled wrinkling her nose slightly. 

Octavia had the habit of segueing a conversation by saying any whore instead of any way or any who.

“7, so we have…” Clarke looked at her phone. “Four hours.”

“Good, I’m getting Lincoln.” Octavia wiggled her eyebrows with a smirk.

“O, I know I said that you two could stay at my apartment.” Clarke bit her lip slowly and ran her hand through her hair. “My lease is up next week and I’m moving in here officially. You and Lincoln are more than welcome to stay here in the spare room.”

“Clarke! That’s great!” Octavia jumped on Clarke hugging her tightly. “I’m so happy for you.”

Clarke smiled and hugged Octavia tightly with a small happy laugh.

“I’m going to get Lincoln to have some fun.” Octavia got up and walked out of the room with a happy bounce in her step.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Clarke walked out of the bathroom slowly with the test in her hands, Roan was waiting on the cracking his knuckles nervously. Clarke put the test on the bedside table before sitting cross-legged on the end of the bed next to Roan.

“I haven’t taken one of these since I was pregnant with Madi.” Clarke rested her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her.

“I kind of hope that you are.” Roan’s voice had a happy tone to it as he kissed the top of her head.

“I don’t think it’s the best timing but I’ll be happy if I am.” She looked up at him with a small nervous smile.

“The timing definitely isn’t the best but we’ll make it work.” He rubbed her back gently.

Clarke’s nerves were all over the place and she felt her stomach twist as they waited for the timer to go off to check the test. Clarke jumped when the three-minute timer when off. Roan and Clarke looked at each other nervously, Clarke started to chew her bottom lip as she got up slowly. She picked up the test and stared at the test, her mind began to start flooding with thoughts.

“Clarke?” Roan’s voice broke through her thoughts; she hadn’t even realized that he had gotten up to stand in front of her. “What is it?” he asked nervously because he couldn’t see the test.

“I’m pregnant.” Clarke looked at Roan with a nervous smile.

Roan crushed his lips against hers as he wrapped his strong arms around her. He pulled away slightly so he could smile down at her.

“I love you, Clarke.” He reached up to stroke her cheek with big grin and tears in his eyes.

“I love you too.” She smiled as she pressed a gentle kiss on his lips.

Clarke could already start to see the differences between her first pregnancy and now. First of all, she was happy to find out that she was pregnant this time whereas last time it was shock and anger over what happened between her and Bellamy.

Clarke looked down slowly as she felt Roan’s hand press against her stomach. His thumb gently stroked her stomach gently, she looked up to see tears running down his face as he smiled down at her stomach.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After dinner, the two couples met with Raven, Murphy, Monty and Jasper at the bar. The others had started drinking, thanks to the newly 21-year-old Murphy buying rounds. Clarke was trying to discretely hide the fact that she wasn’t drinking but Roan was happy to have a couple drinks to celebrate the news.

“Shots!” Murphy called out as he walked back to their table with a tray of shots.

“Shots!” Raven shouted back and winked Murphy.

Murphy started to hand out the shots but Clarke shook her head when Murphy offered her a shot.

“Come on Clarkie!” Murphy shouted a little drunk and a little hyper.

“I’m not drinking tonight.” Clarke shook her head slowly, Roan snaked his arms around her waist.

“Leave her alone John,” Roan growled and kissed Clarke’s cheek.

“You have my shot.” Clarke smiled at Murphy.

Clarke looked around the table at her friends with a smile but stopped when she saw Octavia staring at her with her mouth wide open. Clarke pulled her phone out when it went off.

O: Bathroom NOW!!!

Clarke quickly whispered to Roan that she would be back and went to the bathroom with Octavia close behind her.

“You are pregnant!” Octavia squealed excitedly.

“You can’t tell anyone, I haven’t even gone to the doctors yet.” Clarke couldn’t help but smile at Octavia’s reaction.

“You lied to me this morning.” Octavia mocked being insulted.

“I didn’t, I only did the test before dinner.” Clarke smiled as Octavia hugged her tightly.

“I’m so happy for you,” Octavia whispered still holding her friend in a tight hug. “You and Roan are going to make one cute ass baby.”

Clarke’s phone ringing made the break apart from their hug, a frown began to form Clarke's face when she saw Aurora’s name flashing on her phone.

“I gotta take this, O,” Clarke said quickly before answering her phone. “Aurora? What’s wrong?” Clarke began to immediately panic.

“Clarke, you need to come to the hospital, there’s been an accident,” Aurora spoke quickly.

Clarke’s stomach dropped immediately and fear filled her.

Chapter Text

Panic filled Clarke as she rushed into the Emergency room with Roan closely behind her. She looked around but couldn’t find Aurora or Bellamy, she made a beeline for the reception desk. 

“Hi what can I help you with?” The nurse at the reception smiled. 

“My daughter is here, Madi Blake.” Clarke ran her hand through her hair. 

Clarke had given Madi the Blake last name knowing that the truth of Madi’s father would come out. A part of her knew that she’d regret it if she didn’t do it. Everyone had just automatically assumed that Clarke had given Madi the Griffin last name. 

“I have no patients under that name.” The nurse looked at Clarke. 

Clarke swore under her breath, of course, she wasn’t under Blake. Her brain was too focused on getting to Madi and finding out what happened. 

“Madi Griffin.” Clarke corrected. 

“Clarke,” Aurora called out as she walked from down the hall. 

“Aurora, what happened? Where is she? Is she going to be okay?” Clarke started to panic as tears filled her eyes. 

“I’m not too sure how it happened exactly but she’s dislocated her shoulder. They’re going to sedate her so that they can put it back in place then see if there’s any damage.” Aurora explained in her soothing tone that always seemed to work on Clarke. 

“Can I see her?” Clarke asked calmly as she felt Roan rub her back gently. 

“We were waiting for you to come before they sedated her.” Aurora led Clarke and Roan down the hall to a room. 

Bellamy was on the hospital bed with Madi on his lap. He was stroking her hair and whispering to her quietly. Tears stained Madi’s cheeks and she was whimpering like she only just stopped crying. Echo was sitting on a seat near the door, staring at Bellamy and Madi with a deep scowl. Bellamy saw Clarke come in and moved Madi off his lap and let Clarke take his place. 

“Mommy!” Madi started to cry again, it was a cry of pain rather than a sad one or one when she was throwing a tantrum. 

“I’m here baby.” Clarke held her close and kissed her head gently. 

A nurse came in with paperwork for Clarke to fill out. Aurora took the paperwork on Clarke’s behalf and sat in the chair near Clarke. 

“Madi Aurora Blake.” Clarke corrected when she saw Aurora start to write Madi’s name. 

“I thought Griffin was her last name,” Aurora spoke quietly. 

“No, everyone assumed it was Griffin, I didn’t correct them,” Clarke spoke quietly. 

A smile played on Aurora’s lips at this information as she finished filling out the paperwork. Clarke’s eyes danced over the paperwork before she signed it. 

The nurse came back in and gave Madi the IV, Madi didn’t even flinch from the needle, she just watched the needle go in. Clarke was more nervous then Madi about it. Slowly Madi started to fall asleep from the IV. The nurse can back in, she transferred Madi onto another bed with the help of another nurse before wheeling the bed out. 

“She’s going to be okay.” Roan wrapped his arms around Clarke from behind and kissed her head. 

Clarke nodded slowly before looking at Bellamy. Roan unwrapped his arms from her, sensing that she didn’t want to be held right now. 

“Clarke, I’m sorry.” Bellamy looked as worried and panicked as she felt. 

“What the hell happened?” Clarke crossed her arms slowly. 

A silence fell amongst them as Clarke watched Bellamy look at Echo then back at Clarke. 

“What the fuck happened? I dropped our daughter off to you and 9 hours later she’s in the emergency room.” Clarke narrowed her eyes at Bellamy. “What the fuck happened in those 9 hours?”

“She was being a brat and was throwing a tantrum.” Echo rolled her eyes. “She did it to herself.” Echo shrugged. 

“Bellamy?” Clarke ignored Echo not in the mood to deal with her. 

“Madi came into my room after having a nightmare.” Bellamy started but Echo cut him off. 

“Bell, I’m tired, let’s go home.” Echo complained. 

“Echo grabbed Madi’s arm and pulled her back to her room but Madi fought back. That’s when it happened.” Bellamy finished explained. 

Both Aurora and Clarke looked at Echo with angry looks. Roan put his hand on Clarke’s back to try and keep her calm. 

“Bellamy, let’s go.” Echo pulled on his arm but Bellamy moved his arm out of her grip. 

“My daughter just got sedated to have her shoulder put in place after you dislocated it.” Bellamy looked at her. “I’m not going anywhere, get a cab or something.”

“Are you seriously going to talk to me like that?” Echo raised her eyebrow at him. “Let’s go.” Her voice got low and aggressive. 

Clarke watched Bellamy sigh and start head for the door. 

“That’s what I fucking thought. No fucking backbone.” Echo spoke through her teeth. “Fucking pussy.” 

Clarke’s jaw dropped when she heard what Echo was saying to Bellamy and the reaction Bellamy was having to her words. Bellamy’s shoulders slouched and his head hung low. 

“You can’t talk to him like that,” Clarke spoke up causing Echo to glare at him. “Bell? You don’t have to go, you can stay here until Madi gets out.” 

“He’s taking me home.” Echo pushed Bellamy toward the door more. 

“I want to stay.” Bellamy protested but Echo pushed him out the door. 

“I’m worried about him,” Aurora spoke up finally after Echo made Bellamy leave. 

“She can’t talk to him like that. That’s so wrong.” Clarke frowned slowly. 

“I might head home and make sure he’s okay,” Aurora spoke quietly but she looked torn. 

“Yeah go, the nurse said Madi will be gone for a while and then she’ll most likely sleep the rest of the night. I can call you in the morning.” Clarke reassured trying to stifle her yawn. 

“Thank you.” Aurora hugged Clarke tightly and gave Roan a nod before leaving. 

—— —— —— —— ——

The next morning, Clarke sat on the hospital bed with Madi asleep in her lap. Roan was asleep hunched over with his head on the side of the bed. Clarke was tired, she only had a few hours sleep. 

Madi’s arm was in a sling that stopped her from moving it at all. Clarke was so worried that Madi was going to have permanent damage but The doctor ensured her that Madi would be back to normal in a few weeks after resting it and some strengthening physical therapy. They were letting Madi go home in a few hours after they were sure she wasn’t having side effects from the sedation. 

O: How’s Madi?

Clarke: Echo dislocated Madi’s shoulder. It’s back in place now, she’ll be good as new in a few weeks. We’ll be home in a few hours. 

O: fucking bitch, how fucking dare she?! Text me when you’re on your way home, Lincoln and I are gonna cook you two breakfast. 

Clarke: thanks O. Love you 

O: love you too Clarkie. 

—— —— ——

Madi was still sleepy when they got home but the doctor told them to expect that. Madi didn’t feel like eating so they gave her some juice before putting her to bed. 

Clarke fell into bed with Roan exhausted. Roan cuddled up to Clarke with his hand on her stomach. 

“I love you, Clarke,” Roan mumbled and kissed her head. 

“I love you too.” Clarke relaxed in his arms and put her hand over his, entwining her fingers with his. 

Chapter Text

The week following Madi’s hospital stay had been crazy between the extra care Madi needed, work and doctor’s appointments, Clarke was exhausted. She yawned as she walked into her doctor’s appointment with Roan.

Her doctor wanted to do an ultrasound early to determine how far along she was because The blood test suggested that she was further along than Clarke thought.

Clarke laid on the table as Roan squeezed her hand with a bright smile. Clarke could tell Roan was excited the whole day leading up to the appointment.

“This is going to be cold.” Dr Nyko smiled.

Roan had been uncomfortable at first when he found out that Clarke’s doctor was male, he didn’t like the idea of a stranger looking at parts of Clarke’s body that should be a little more private. Clarke reassured him that Dr Nyko was the best and he was her doctor during her pregnancy with Madi.

“There we go.” Dr Nyko smiled at Clarke. “Madi is almost three now, isn’t she? I’ve delivered a lot of babies but I’ll always remember Madi.” He chuckled. “She had a full head of dark hair and was dead silent just looking around.”

“She barely even cried when you pinched her to make sure she was okay.” Clarke laughed.

“Let me guess, she just looked at you super mad?” Roan chuckled.

“Yep.” Dr Nyko chuckled. “Alright looks like you’re about 9 weeks along. Baby Azgeda looks healthy.”

Clarke let out a sigh of a relief as Roan smiled and kissed her hand.

“You’ve already started to show.” Dr Nyko smiled as he cleaned the gel off her stomach.

“I kind of just popped out the other day. Not much but I’ve definitely started.” Clarke smiled and sat up slowly.

“That tends to happen in your second pregnancy, you’ll notice you’re showing earlier and feeling the baby move earlier than you did with Madi.” Dr Nyko smiled and handed Roan the ultrasound pictures. “I’ll see you in a couple of weeks, call me if you have any questions.”

——— ———

Clarke walked into the house to find Madi having a temper tantrum over having to wear her sling.

“Come on Munchkin, you cant take it off.” Octavia pleaded with Madi as she cried loudly.

“No!” Madi cried frustrated. “I want Mommy!”

“Baby, I’m here.” Clarke knelt in front Madi, letting run into her arms. “Baby, you need to wear it so your arm will get better.”

“No.” Madi sobbed loudly.

“Come on baby girl, it’s only for another week.” Clarke soothed, rubbing her daughter’s back. “Mommy has to go to work tonight but Ro is going to stay with you.”

“I want Ro.” Madi pushed Clarke away.

“Come here baby girl.” Rona scooped Madi up into his arms and kissed her cheek. “Hey, Octavia?”

“Yeah?” Octavia perked up from the lounge she was sitting on.

“You want a job for the rest of the summer?” He watched her slowly.

“Yeah.” Octavia smiled slowly.

“I just had one of my servers quit, I need someone for the rest of the summer.” He kissed Madi’s head while he spoke.

“When do I start?” Octavia smiled excited, she was happy to earn some more money for when she went back to college.

“Tonight, if that’s okay?” He watched her slowly.

“Hell Yeah.” Octavia grinned widely.

—— —— —— ——

Clarke walked out of the back room of the bar with a couple bottles of spirits. Octavia put her drinks tray on the bar with a sigh. She adjusted her tank top again. Clarke thought Octavia looked like a badass tonight. She was wearing black skinny jeans, one of Clarke’s black tank tops with the name of the bar printed on it and a leather jacket. Her hair was up in a messy bun and her eye makeup was done darker than she would usually do.

“Hey, Clarkie.” Octavia smiled as she leant against the bar.

“Hey O, got an order for me?” Clarke smiled slowly.

“Yup.” Octavia handed over the order ticket to Clarke.

Clarke made quick work of making the drinks as Octavia peeled off her jacket.

“Damn Clarke.” Octavia looked Clarke up and down as Clarke shook the cocktail shaker over her shoulder. “Your tits are on point tonight.” She smirked.

“Are you checking me out?” Clarke laughed and popped the tops of the beers off.

“Hell yeah, I am!” Octavia laughed, taking the tray of drinks, disappearing to the other side of the bar.

Clarke watched as Bellamy walked into the bar and sat in front of her section of the bar. He must’ve realised he had sat in front of Clarke’s section because when he looked up, he was kind of taken back by her.

“Hey.” Clarke offered him a small smile. “What can I get you?”

“Hey umm... double whiskey straight up,” Bellamy mumbled not able to force a smile.

“Rough day?” Clarke frowned as she poured his drink for him.

“Yeah.” He sighed hunching over the bar.

—— ——— ——

Three hours later, it was almost 2 in the morning and the bar was a lot quieter now which was expected considering it was a Thursday night. Lincoln had picked up Octavia just after midnight at the end of her shift. Clarke was supposed to finish at midnight but one of the other bartenders had to leave because they weren't feeling well so Clarke was working until the end of their shift.

Clarke answered the bar's phone when it started ringing loudly.

"Dropship, Clarke speaking." Clarke stepped out into the back room so she could hear better.

"Clarke?" Aurora breathed a sigh of relief. "Is Bell there? He got into a fight with Echo, a bad one and he left hours ago. he hasn't come back." Aurora was worried and panicking, Clarke could tell. the fight must have been a bad one if Aurora was this worried about him.

"He's here, my shift ends soon. I'll drop him home." Despite the fact that Clarke wasn't Bellamy's biggest fan or a fan at all for that matter, she didn't wish any ill on him. Mainly for the fact that he was Madi's father and over the last week, Madi had become attached, mainly because he had visited her every day except today. Clarke could see that he was actually making an effort, though it wouldn't make up for everything that he had missed in Madi's life but it was a start.

"Thank you, Clarke, I'll see you soon." Aurora hung up and Clarke walked back into the bar.

"Alright, I'm off," Clarke announced to the other bartender and answered her phone when it started to ring.

"Hey babe, you all good?" Roan's voice made her smile as she walked up to the office to collect her things.

"Hey, yeah, Anya wasn't feeling well so I told her she could leave at 12 and I'd stay til 2. Sorry, we had a rush and I forgot to call you." Clarke yawned slightly as she gathered up her things.

"Yeah Octavia told me, you okay to drive?" the concern in Roan's voice was obvious, Clarke loved how worried and concerned he'd get over her.

"Yeah, I've got to drop Bellamy at Aurora's first. He's drunk a fair bit and Aurora's pretty worried about him." Clarke sighed quietly.

"Okay, Drive safe?" His voice went softer.

"Always do. I love you." She bit her lip gently.

"Love you too." He hung up as she grabbed her bag and headed down to the bar.

"My shift is over, come on. I'm taking you home." Clarke spoke quietly to Bellamy.

“I’m a horrible person.” Bellamy slurred clearly drunk.

“Come on.” She grabbed his arm and guided him out of the bar.

Clarke got him into the car with the help of Tybe.

“Thanks.” She smiled at Tybe.

Clarke got into the car and started to drive. Bellamy groaned as the car began to move.

“I lied Clarke,” Bellamy mumbled and looked at her.

“You’re drunk Bell. You’ll be back home soon.” She focused on the road knowing that he was just going to ramble.

“No Clarke, I lied. I wasn’t using you.” He sighed loudly. “I loved you... I still love you. I had to break up with you.” He burped. “Your mom... I love you, Clarke.” He mumbled and held his head. “Now I’ve lost you to that man bun wearing asshole.”

Clarke gripped the steering wheel tighter as she drove. She couldn’t look at him, he was just rambling and she shouldn’t pay any mind to what he was saying.

“Echo wants to put the baby up for adoption. I don’t want her too.” His voice was broken as he looked out the window.

Clarke was a little shocked at the news that Echo was pregnant. She couldn’t lie, it hurt a little bit, he wanted his baby with Echo but didn’t want Madi when Clarke was pregnant with her.

“Then why don’t you take the baby? Raise it yourself.” She looked at him slowly as she pulled up to the Blake house.

“Do you think I do it?” He looked at her slowly.

“Yeah, I’m not going to lie, it’s hard. It gets so hard sometimes but you will never regret when you see your baby grow up.” She took a deep breath. “If you want that baby, tell Echo. Put that baby ahead of Echo. A good parent will always put their children ahead of everyone else.”

Bellamy started to cry as he hurried his head in his hands. Clarke frowned slowly and put a hand on his back.

“How can you even let me around Madi again? I left you to raise her by yourself for almost three years.” He lifted his head from his hands and looked at her.

Clarke let out a sigh as she took her hand off his back and ran her hand through her hair.

“Because I know you’ll live with that regret and that guilt for not being there for her for the rest of your life. You miss so much of her big moments. The first time I felt her kicking when I was pregnant, finding out that it was a girl, the day she was born, her first smile, laugh, word, steps. You missed all of that and you have to live with that.” She took a deep breath. “You living with that regret and missing those moments is punishment enough. But if you walk out of her life again don’t come back.” Clarke looked at him with serious, protective look.

Chapter Text

In the month that had passed since Clarke took Bellamy home that night, a lot of things had changed, Madi was back to normal and seeing Bellamy every day and Clarke seemed to be showing more each day. Bellamy had been making a huge effort with Madi and had even started being nice Roan.

One of the biggest changes was Echo was completely out of the picture. Bellamy was taking full custody of the baby when it was born and Echo was signing her rights away.

Clarke had been planning Madi’s birthday with Octavia and Aurora. They were throwing the party on Sunday with everyone coming, including Raven, Murphy, Jasper, Monty and a few kids Madi was friends with.

Clarke and Roan changed their plans about going away for Clarke’s birthday. They instead opted to have a big barbecue with all of their friends. Clarke didn’t mind because it wasn’t the best time for them to go away.

The Friday night before Madi’s party, there was a live music night at the bar. A quite popular indie band and they had sold out of tickets so it was going to be crazy busy. All of the bar staff were working including Clarke, Octavia and Roan.

Octavia was just clearing tables and serving the VIP area. Roan had put Clarke on making the drinks for the VIPs because he was too worried that she’d be over stressed out. They had five bartenders including Clarke and Roan.

Octavia was wearing the same outfit she wore every night she worked except she was wearing shorts this time and a black choker around her neck. Clarke, on the other hand, couldn’t wear her usual work uniform because it showed the roundness of her stomach. She was wearing a larger t-shirt with the Bar’s logo on it with it tucked into her shorts that left the shirt hanging loosely around her stomach.

Clarke had to stop herself from getting distracted by Roan. God, he was looking sexy tonight. His bar shirt was tight around his arms and chest. That made Clarke weak, god the hormones were driving her crazy around him. Not that Roan was complaining. He was loving how much she wanted him in the last couple of weeks. Roan had half of his hair was pulled out of his face.

Once the band started to play, the drink orders slowed down allowing Clarke, Roan and the other bartenders to relax slightly. Octavia made it behind the bar to grab her bottle of water when the first song finished.

“A little birdie told me that this bar has rules. One of those rules involves a certain song and the waitresses and bartenders dancing.” The singer of the band laughed.

The Dropship had the rule that when the song add it up by Violent Femmes came on, the staff had to stop what they were doing to sing and dance to the song.

Clarke was so confused the time it happened because all of a sudden Anya, one of the serious bartenders, grabbed her and made her start dancing.

The cleared off the top of the bar, which wasn’t much considering most of the people in the bar were towards the stage at the other side of the bar.

The band got ready to play the song and Roan lifted Clarke onto the bar as the others climbed up onto the bar.

“Day after day. I will walk and I will play. But the day after today. I will stop and I will start.” The bar staff started singing loudly.

“Why can't I get just one kiss? Why can't I get just one kiss? Believe me, there'd be something that I wouldn't miss.” The lead singer of the band joined in singing as the music started.

Roan smirked, watching Clarke as they danced.

“But I look at your pants and I need a kiss.”

Roan looked Clarke up and down with a wink.

“Why can't I get just one screw? Why can't I get just one screw? Believe me, I know what to do. But something won't let me make love to you.”

Octavia laughed and bumped hips with Clarke. Clarke smiled as they danced around on the bar.

“Why can't I get just one fuck? Why can't I get just one fuck? I guess it got something to do with luck but I waited my whole life for just one.”

Clarke could see some of the girls from the front of the crowd checking out Roan. This wasn’t strange, it happened quite often. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence. Roan was an attractive guy.

What was unusual was the jealousy rising up in Clarke. She had never been jealous about it before but tonight, the more these girls checked out Roan, the more the jealousy boiled up in Clarke. Stupid hormones.

When the song ended, Roan helped both Clarke and Octavia off the bar. They all went back to work like nothing happened.

One of the girls went up to Roan as he wiped down the bar so they could get back serving. Clarke grabbed her water bottle as she watched the girl flirt with Roan. The jealousy still boiling up in her.

“I’m going to go clear tables,” Clarke told Anya, who just nodded.

Clarke grabbed one of the tubs they used for clearing tables. She weaves through the crowd clearing stacks of empty plastic cups left on the tables. When she got back to the bar, the girl was gone.

Clarke sighed as emptied the tub before disappearing into the back room. Clarke sighed rubbing her stomach as she grabbed some of the liquor bottles they were running low on.

“Clarke?” Roan called out as he walked through the back room to find her.

“Back here, just grabbing some bottles.” She turned to him slowly, still rubbing her stomach.

“You okay?” Roan frowned worriedly.

“Yeah, the baby is just making more room in there.” She offered him a small smile. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He relaxed and leant down to give her a small kiss.

Clarke deepened the kiss as she grabbed his shirt to pull him closer.

“Tonight.” He promised once he pulled away.

—— —— —— ——

A few hours later, the band was taking a break and the bar was getting slammed with customers.

“What can get for you?” Clarke asked one of the girls who had been checking out Roan earlier.

“Gin and tonic.” The girl sighed disappointed that Roan wasn’t serving her, Clarke could see the girl’s under 21 Green bracelet.

“So just a tonic?” Clarke raised her eyebrow at the girl.

“GIN and tonic.” The girl emphasised the gin.

“You’re under 21. Now, what can I get you?” Clarke asked again, trying to not get frustrated.

“Lemonade.” The girl groaned and Clarke finished serving her as fast as she could.

Clarke powered through the customers’ orders until she saw the lead singer at her end of the bar.

“Hey, What can I get you?” Clarke gave him a small smile.

“Hey, I’m Liam.” The singer smirked as he winked at her slowly.

“Clarke, what can I get for you?” She smiled slowly.

“Four beers and some water?” Liam kept the same smirk on his face.

“Sure.” She nodded and went to the fridge and bent down to get the beers out.

Liam took the opportunity to check out Clarke’s ass as her shorts rode up slightly when she bent over. Roan frowned when he noticed Liam and a few other guys checking out Clarke. Roan ran his hand across Clarke’s ass as he moved around her so he could make his drinks.

—— —— ——

Roan and Clarke stayed behind to clean up the Bar after the event was over. The majority of the closing cleaning of the rubbish was done before the rest of the staff left. Roan and Clarke just needed to wipe down all of the tables then sweep and mop the floor. The band were still hanging around, finishing up packing up their stuff.

“Hey Roan, we just wanted to thank you for having us here tonight.” Liam shook Roan’s hands with a smile.

“Glad to have you. You’re welcome back any time.” Roan smiled and shook his hand.

Liam walked over to Clarke slowly while the other band members spoke to Roan.

“Hey Clarke, I was wondering if I could get your number? I want to take you out some time.” Liam smiled as he got his phone out.

“Hey Liam, um...” Clarke rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly.

“You have a boyfriend, don’t you?” He sighed disappointedly.

“Yeah, I’m actually Roan’s girlfriend.” She smiled awkwardly.

The three other band mates started laughing because they had clued on about Roan and Clarke dating but didn’t tell Liam.

“Well, this is awkward.” Liam laughed awkwardly.

“It’s okay.” She laughed quietly. “You guys were great tonight. Drive safe.” She smiled and watched them leave.

“Clarke,” Roan growled as he grabbed her, pulling her closer.

Without saying another word, he picked her up as he kissed her slowly. She gave into his kiss and hooked her legs around his waist slowly. He carried her over to one of the tables and set her down.

Roan pulled off her shorts quickly and entered her quickly causing a loud gasp to escape Clarke’s lips. Clarke pulled Roan down to kiss her again.

Roan’s movements were fast and filled with need, his arms hooked under to anchor her as he sped up his movements.

“Roan.” Clarke whimpered into the crook of his neck.

Roan’s movements were filled with need from a night of built up jealousy and want. Clarke wasn’t going to complain because her hormones were driving her crazy and she couldn’t get enough of him.

Clarke felt herself begin to shake as she started to feel her release coming to a peak. Roan must have noticed this and sped up again causing her orgasm rip through her. He only lasted a few moments after her orgasm ripped through her.

Roan gave her a lazy kiss before stepped back slowly and did up his pants slowly. Clarke sat up slowly, her chest heaving as she came down.

“Too many guys were looking at you tonight,” Roan mumbled slowly as he handed her a bottle of water.

“Too many girls were flirting with you.” She countered and took a sip from her bottle.

“But I thought Clarke Griffin didn’t get jealous.” He laughed slowly and started to sweep again.

“Well pregnant Clarke Griffin gets jealous.” She got off the table slowly.

Chapter Text

Waking up the next morning was hard, even though she had a fair amount of sleep, last night had been a lot of work even though Roan had given her the lightest duties of the night. She looked at the alarm clock that showed it was 10:30 am and silently groaned, not wanting to disturb Roan. A smile crept onto her face when she felt Roan’s hand creep over her waist to rest firmly on her stomach. His thumb gently rubbed her stomach as he kissed her shoulder gently.

“Morning.” He mumbled and pulled her closer.

“Morning.” She whispered and put her hand over his.

“I think it’s a boy.” He spoke quietly, his lips brushing against her bare skin.

“I’d like a boy.” She rolled over so she could face him.

She couldn’t help but smile as she put her hand on his cheek gently and gave him a chaste kiss. She gently stroked his cheek gently with her thumb, just appreciating this moment here with him. She was content with everything in her life right now, Bellamy was stepping up and being a father to Madi, she was having a new baby and she had Roan, who loved her. For the first time since Madi was born, Clarke finally felt like she was able to start thinking about taking some classes at the community college or start doing some type of training.

“I was thinking.” Roan broke the silence between them quietly.

“About what?” Clarke hummed quietly.

“What do you think about Theo?” He brushes her hair behind her ear slowly as he watched her frown slowly in confusion. “For the baby, if it’s a boy.”

“After your grandfather?” She smiled slowly. “I love it.”

Roan’s grandfather, Theo, was the only other family member that Roan had. Theo was the complete opposite of his mother, he was affectionate, loving man, who doted on Roan until he died when Roan was 12.

“What if it’s a girl?” Clarke smiled slowly and ran her hand over her stomach.

“I like the name Glass, if our daughter would be anything like her mother, she may look fragile but she’s the strongest, most beautiful person in this world.”  Roan smiled slowly and kissed the top of her head gently. “But I’m positive it’s a boy.”

Clarke let out a warm giggle and kissed Roan slowly as she climbed on top of him slowly, deepening the kiss.

——— ——— ——— ——— ——

Clarke and Roan walked into the Blake house slowly, Roan and Madi were going out for their day together while Clarke was finishing up the shopping for Madi’s birthday. Clarke frown when the house was quiet, that couldn’t be right if her daughter was in the house. Octavia noticed it too after she arrived with Lincoln. Octavia raised her eyebrow at Clarke before walking through the house to the backyard where they found Bellamy and Aurora playing with Madi.

“Ro!” Madi squealed as she ran towards Roan.

“Madz, come here.” Roan smiled and scooped up Madi, kissing her cheek gently.

“We go on date?” Madi asked loudly as she put her hands on each side of Roan’s face.

“Soon, Mommy and Ro have to talk to Nanna first.” Roan grinned slowly. “Are you going to say hi to Mommy?”

“No.” Madi grinned widely and shook her head slowly. “Down!” She ordered and Roan obliged.

“Why doesn’t Mommy get any love?” Clarke mocked being offended but Madi just shrugged before going to hug Octavia.

“Hey Munchkin!” Octavia smiled slowly and bent down to hug Madi.

 “Hey Kiddo, say hi to Mommy.” Bellamy encouraged as he walked over to Madi slowly.

 “No.” Madi shook her head before running over to the swing. “Daddy, push me!” Madi squealed.

 Clarke frowned confused, they hadn’t told Madi that Bellamy was her Father yet. She raised her eyebrow at Bellamy slowly. She crossed her arms slowly, not sure if she was angry or not.

“I’m sorry, I kind of said it last night by accident and now she just keeps calling me it.” Bellamy bit his lip slowly as he watched Clarke. “She came into me last night after having a nightmare and I told her She could sleep with Daddy.”

“It’s okay,” Clarke spoke softly. “It’s easier than explaining it to her.”

Clarke watched Bellamy visibly relax and he turned to go to Madi before she started squealing at him again. Roan wrapped his arm around Clarke’s waist, pulling her close and kissed the top of her head gently.

“I’m proud of you,” Roan whispered quietly, knowing that it was hard for Clarke when things didn’t go as planned.

“I’m happy, he’s stepped up and he’s being her father.” She whispered slowly as Aurora walked over to them. “Can we talk to you?”

Aurora nodded and lead them into the kitchen while Lincoln and Octavia joined Bellamy and Madi. A silence hung over them as Aurora started to pour them cups of coffee.

“I’m good thanks,” Clarke spoke up, breaking the silence when Aurora went pour Clarke a cup.

“What did you want to talk about?” Aurora smiled as she leant against the kitchen counter.

“Well, we have some news to share.” Roan smiled and looked down at Clarke slowly.

“Madi is going to be a big sister.” Clarke smiled slowly.

“I know, Echo is having Bellamy’s baby.” Aurora frowned slowly, a little confused.

“Well, she’s going to be a big sister twice over.” Roan clarified but Aurora didn’t seem to click at the news.

“I’m pregnant.” Clarke smiled slowly at Aurora, who had stood frozen at the news.

“No way!” Aurora managed to put her cup down before she lurched at Clarke, pulling her into a tight hug. “How far along are you?”

“Fourteen weeks today. I’m due two weeks after Bellamy’s new baby.” Clarke smiled as Aurora let go of her before hugging Roan.

“I can’t believe you’re pregnant.” Aurora beamed as she pulled away slowly.

“You’re pregnant?” Bellamy’s voice echoed through the kitchen, he stood there shocked. “Clarke... um... Wow... Congrats.” Bellamy stuttered as he looked at Clarke, she could see a multitude of different emotions come across his face.

“Thanks.” Clarke offered Bellamy a kind smile, knowing that this was going to be a shock to him.

“I guess Madi going to be a big sister twice in one year.” Bellamy offered Clarke a small smile and offered a hand to Roan who shook it with a polite smile.

Madi bound through the door with Octavia and Lincoln close behind her. Madi finally ran to Clarke and reached up for a hug. Clarke got on her knees and hugged Madi tightly.

“I love you, Mommy,” Madi mumbled with her arms around Clarke’s neck before pulling away slightly. “Date with Ro.” Madi smiled proudly.

“I know, are you going to have fun?” Clarke smiled slowly and watched her daughter nod proudly. “I love you too baby girl. Have fun okay?” Clarke stood up slowly and kissed Roan gently. “Drive safe?”

“Always.” Roan smiled and put a hand on Clarke’s stomach. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” Clarke smiled and kissed him again slowly.

——— ——— ——— ———

Clarke strolled through Target with Octavia and Aurora. They had to hit up a few different stores before heading to Walmart to get the food for the party. Octavia and Clarke had already scouted out where the best places to buy everything was so they had a detailed plan on where to buy everything.

“Let’s stop at the baby section,” Octavia suggested.

During Clarke’s pregnancy with Madi, Octavia loved dragging Clarke through the baby section of different stores. Octavia squealed with excitement when she found out Clarke was having girl during her pregnancy with Madi.

“O, we don’t have time for that today.” Clarke shook her head stubbornly and ran her hand over her stomach. “We can go baby shopping when I look a bit more pregnant.”

“You look so pregnant already,” Octavia argued.

Clarke groaned, not in the mood to argue with Octavia. Rounding the corner of the next aisle, Clarke could never have imagined who she ran into. There standing in front of her was her mother, Abby Griffin. A smile flashed across Abby’s face as she looked Clarke up and down.

“Clarke,” Abby spoke in her fake diplomatic voice.

“Abby,” Clarke spoke through her teeth, hurt, anger and frustration boiled up inside her like a deadly cocktail.

If anyone in the world could ruin her mood and her day it was Abby Griffin. Just the way she smiled and pretended to be the perfect mother made Clarke’s blood boil. It was almost like Abby was pretending that she never kicked her 16-year-old daughter out for being pregnant.

“Octavia, Aurora, what a pleasant surprise, how have you been?” Abby’s fake voice sends a shiver down Clarke’s spine.

“We’ve been excellent, now if you’ll excuse us, we’re on a tight schedule.” Aurora narrowed her eyes at Abby. “MY granddaughter is turning three tomorrow and we’ve got a lot of shopping left to do.”

A smirk played on Clarke’s lips when she heard Aurora emphasis that it was her Granddaughter. Abby looked frustrated at Aurora’s words. 

“It was nice seeing you all.” Abby quickly made her exit much to Clarke’s relief.

“Okay kid, listen up,” Octavia spoke as she got down to the level of Clarke’s stomach, which made Clarke roll her eyes. “I’m your Aunty O and I’m going to teach you so many kick-ass things but the first thing is that bitch with the I’m a fucking peacemaker voice is your Mommy’s Mother. We don’t like her.”

“O, enough talking to the baby, it looks weird,” Clarke grumbled as she went back to looking at things for the party.

“But you’re literally making a baby in there, it’s so weird.” Octavia poked Clarke’s stomach as Clarke reached up to grab red cups off the top shelf.

“I’m showing but I’m at that pudgy, she might just be fat stage.” Clarke countered and threw the cups into the trolley.

“You’re definitely showing more than you did last time,” Aurora commented as they headed for the checkout.

“That’s what Nyko said, I started to pop out just before my first ultrasound.” Clarke let out a sigh, seeing her mother definitely put a damper on her mood.

“Don’t let the bitch ruin your day, Abby mother fucking Griffin doesn’t deserve your attention. Now let’s check out and go get some food because I know you're hungry.” Octavia had her determined face on which meant that nothing was going to stand in her way.

“I’m always hungry.” Clarke let out a long, drawn-out sigh which made Octavia burst out laughing because as Clarke let the sigh out her stomach seemed to expand.

“Have you been sucking in your stomach?” Octavia giggled which earned her a pinch from Aurora that did nothing but make Octavia laugh more.

“I must’ve been doing it out of habit.”Clarke laughed as she looked down at her stomach that had a more obvious roundness to it, she definitely looked more pregnant now.

“I’ll stop picking on you.” Octavia laughed and started to pick up the bags slowly.

——— ——— ——— ———

The morning of Madi’s birthday party, Clarke didn’t know who was more stressed out, her or Bellamy. They had both been running around Aurora’s backyard frantically making sure everything was set up for the party. Clarke didn’t stop until Aurora demanded her to sit down and relax. Clarke begrudgingly sat down at the counter while Aurora finished cooking the last of the food. Octavia had been keeping Madi occupied by braiding her hair and getting her ready for the day.

Clarke slid out of her chair when there was a knock at the front door. She was glad she was wearing a loose dress because they were telling everyone today after the party. Murphy and Raven were waiting at the door.

“You look positively radiant, Clarke,” Raven smirked and hugged Clarke tightly.

“O told you, didn’t she?” Clarke muttered and hugged Raven slowly.

“Yup,” Raven smirked and pulled away slowly.

“Everyone knows, don’t they?” Clarke raised her eyebrow slowly and Raven just nodded slowly.

“So you guys are actually fucking?” Murphy finally spoke up in his usual sarcastic tone.

“No, we just sit in bed and play go fish.” Clarke deadpanned.

“I’d do that, Roan’s hot.” Raven nodded slowly in agreement.

“I’m standing right here.” Murphy threw his hands up in the air.

“It’s not my fault that Clarke sleeps with hot guys and makes cute babies.” Raven defended and walked into the house slowly.

“Can we not talk about my sex life at my daughter’s birthday party?” Clarke pleaded as she closed the front door behind Murphy.

“Birdie!” Madi squealed from the top of the stairs.

“What about me?” Murphy threw his arms up in the air.

Murphy had been an influence on Madi, they both had the same sense of humour and Clarke could even tell that Madi was becoming sarcastic even though Madi had no idea what that meant but monkey see and monkey do. Surprisingly Murphy had a soft spot for Madi, he’d never admit it but he loved that little girl.

“Doodoo!” Madi squealed with a giggle as she made her way down the stairs.

“Doodoo? Real original Hobbit.” Murphy mumbled as Madi threw her arms around Murphy’s legs. “Happy birthday.” He scooped Madi and gave her a hug before passing her to   Raven.

“Happy birthday Baby girl!” Raven grinned and kissed the little girl’s cheek. “What have you been doing?”

“Date with Ro,” Madi mumbled and cuddled up to Raven.

“Ooohhhh really now? Did he buy you flowers?” Raven played along with a smile.

“No.” Madi frowned and pouted.

Roan walked inside from the backyard and stopped when Madi shot him an angry look.

“Raven just got you in trouble.” Murphy immediately admitted.

“You should’ve bought her flowers, Roan.” Raven laughed and rubbed Madi’s back.

“Come here baby, Mommy and Ro need to give you a surprise before your party starts.” Clarke reaches her hands out to Madi slowly.

Madi reluctantly goes to Clarke and she carries the little girl into the lounge room before sitting Madi between them.

“I’m sorry Madz, Ro will buy you some flowers.” Roan kissed Madi’s head gently. “Guess what’s in Mommy’s tummy.” He whispered to the little girl.

“What?” Madi grinned widely and looked at Clarke slowly.

“There’s a baby in Mommy’s tummy.” He smiled widely as he whispered to Madi.

Clarke smoothed her dress over her stomach to show Madi. The little girl put her hand on Mother’s stomach and just grinned slowly. Clarke knew Madi would be able to understand considering she was a bright little girl.

“You’re going to be a big sister.” Clarke smiled and stroked her daughter’s hair gently.

The moment didn’t last long because the sound of Monty and Jasper bursting through the front door made Madi run to meet them. Roan and Clarke just looked at each other laughing quietly. He leant over to her and kissed her gently. 

“I have an early birthday present for you.” He smiled slowly and pulled an envelope out of his back pocket, handing it to her.

“Roan, you didn’t have to.” She gave him a long lingering kiss before opening the envelope.

Clarke stared at the contents with tears in her eyes before looking up at Roan and wrapping his arms around him.

“Do you like it?” He asked and kissed the curve of her neck gently.

“I love you.” She pulled back and kissed him slowly as her tears began to stream down her cheeks.

“I love you too.” He smiled happily as he pulled her into his lap slowly. “Now the application is due on Wednesday, that’s why I’m giving it to you early. The check is enough to cover the first semester, we’ll worry about the second semester after the baby is born. I want you to know that I support you doing this.”

Octavia walked into the lounge room and raised her eyebrow at Clarke.

“I’m going to college.” Clarke smiled and passed Octavia the envelope.

“Holy shit.” Octavia breathed out as she looked at the application and check.

Clarke felt her heart swell with happiness, everything had fallen into place. Bellamy was actively being Madi’s father, she had Roan, their baby, everyone was healthy and she was going to college.

——— ——— ——— ——— ———

By the end of the night, Madi was passed out cold from exhaustion, in the end, she curled up on Bellamy’s lap. Lincoln carried Madi to the car and them to bed after Roan had to go to the bar because there had been some kind of accident and a bartender had to go home, Madi was already asleep by the time he left.

Clarke’s phone started to ring as she climbed into bed slowly. She yawned and answered her phone.

“Hey babe, I’m closing tonight so I won’t be home till late.” Roan’s voice made her smile slowly as she curled up into bed.

“Hey, no problem. I’m just heading to bed. Is Anya okay?” Clarke yawned again.

“Yeah, a glass bottle broke and she cut up her fingers, she just couldn’t work the rest of the night.” His voice had a relaxing effect on her. “You should get to bed, you and the baby need to sleep. It was a long day.”

She loved his voice, the gravelly tone it had, the softness he used with her, The happy and loving tone he always had with Madi even when she had done something wrong. His voice was comforting for her. Hearing it immediately made her relax.

“Hopefully she’ll be okay.” She ran her hand down her stomach, smiling slowly. “I love you, Roan.”

“I love you too. I’ll see you when I get home.” She could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke.

“Drive safe?” She ran her hand through her hair slowly.

“Always.” He hung up slowly.

Clarke honestly couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have found someone like Roan. Yes, there was a significant age between them but they didn’t care, they just seemed to fit together so well. Clarke honestly didn’t know that was possible after everything went down with Bellamy, she was a damaged, single teen mom with some serious trust issues. Roan was just as damaged but they seemed to health together and they were stronger for it. Clarke loved the fact that he was excited for their baby and he seemed to be in a permanent good mood since they found out. She loved how different this pregnancy was too her last, there was no shame and no arguments about it, they were just happy.

——— ——— ——— ———

A loud banging on the front door woke Clarke up, she glanced at the clock with a frown, 3 am.

Who the fuck was knocking on the door at 3 in the fucking morning?

Getting out of bed was a struggle, her body cried out with exhaustion, she wasn’t ready to be awake or to be out of bed. By the time she had made it to the stairs, Octavia and Lincoln had already answered the door.

Clarke still wasn’t awake enough to comprehend who was at the door. She froze when she noticed that there were two police officers standing at her front door.

“Miss Clarke Griffin?” The older looking officer asked quietly.

Clarke stared at them for a long time before nodding slowly.

No...

Chapter Text

There’s no handbook on what to do when you lose someone. There are no rules you need to follow when you feel like your world is crumbling around you. You just feel and everyone feels differently. Some become numb, some scream and some people lash out. Everyone reacts differently.

“I’m sorry to inform you that Roan Azgeda died in a car accident an hour ago.” The officer’s voice seemed muted to Clarke.

She felt her knees start to shake as she brought a hand to her mouth slowly. She fell to her knees as the officer explain that Roan’s car was t-boned by a drunk driver and he died on impact.

“We’re so sorry for your loss.” The officers spoke quietly before Lincoln ushered them outside knowing Clarke didn’t need to hear any more details or information.

Octavia got down on the floor with Clarke and pulled her into her arms, letting Clarke cry into her chest, rocking her back and forth gently. A loud painful cry left Clarke’s lips causing Octavia to soothe her, stroking her hair as her own tears streamed down her face.

“Mommy?” Somehow, Madi’s tiny voice could be heard over Clarke’s crying, she was standing at the top of the stairs, the Teddy bear Roan had gotten her years ago tucked in the crook of her elbow.

“Hey Madzy, Mommy was just having a bad dream,” Lincoln spoke quietly to the little girl as he bounded up the stairs. “Why don’t you come back to bed and Uncle Linc will read you a story?” He scooped up the little girl and she gratefully wrapped her arms around his neck, laying her head on his shoulder.

——— ——— ——— ——— ———

The sound of Madi screaming in a full-blown meltdown tantrum woke Clarke up, before she could fill register her surroundings she could hear Bellamy’s muffled voice, most likely in an attempt to calm down Madi. The events of last night hit Clarke like a landslide, she wanted to cry but the tears weren’t coming. She glanced at the clock on the bedside table. 1 Pm. She didn’t even remember falling asleep, she just remembered Octavia helping her up to bed and holding her, stroking her hair gently.

Clarke slowly pulled herself out of the bed against the will of her body, she felt like she had no energy. She picked up Roan’s sweatshirt and pulled it on. Inhaling his scent slowly. It wasn’t cold in any sense but she wanted to wear something of his but couldn’t bring herself to open his draws. The sleeves were too long but she didn’t bother to pull them up at all. She walked out of the bedroom silently and made her way downstairs slowly.

“I want Mommy!” Madi screamed in her tantrum, her voice carried from the lounge room.

“I know but Mommy is tired and needs to sleep.” Bellamy pleaded with Madi, obviously overwhelmed, his pleas were fruitless, Madi just cried more.

Clarke walked into the lounge room slowly to find Bellamy holding Madi as she thrashed mid-tantrum. Clarke silently held her arms out to Madi, the little girl practically leapt into Clarke’s arms. She sank onto the couch cradling her daughter. Clarke stayed there for the longest time letting her daughter calm down.

“Where’s Ro?” Madi spoke up after calming down, only a few sobs left in her. She had sat back on Clarke’s lap so she could look at her mother.

“Do you remember when Uncle Jasper’s dog Charlie died?” Clarke’s voice was hoarse, this was the first thing she had said since she had come downstairs.

“Yeah.” Madi frowned slowly and her bottom lip dropped slowly.

Jasper’s dog had passed away before the start of summer, Madi had spent a lot of time with the dog so Clarke explained what happens when pets and people pass away. After some explaining and questions, Madi seemed to understand.

“Last night.” Clarke took a deep breath trying to calm down. “Ro died. Just like with Charlie, we don’t get to see Ro again but he loved you very much. Okay, baby?” Clarke broke down and started to cry, tears coming this time.

Madi burrowed her head in Clarke’s chest, not crying just quiet. Clarke wrapped her arms around Madi and kissed the top of her daughter’s head. Clarke stayed like that for a long time until Madi started to get restless.

“Hey kiddo, do you want to go with Daddy to the park?” Bellamy suggested as he approached them slowly.

“Yeah.” Madi nodded slowly and looked at Clarke slowly.

“You can go with Daddy,” Clarke spoke quietly and kissed Madi’s head. “Go get your shoes.”

Madi got off Clarke’s lap and ran upstairs. It always amazed Clarke how resilient young kids were. Clarke stood up slowly and wobbled on her feet slightly, Bellamy reaches out and steadied her slowly.

“Thank you.” Clarke managed quietly.

“I’ll keep Madi occupied, do you need me to get you anything?” Bellamy kept his voice low and quiet.

Clarke shook her head slowly and hugged Roan’s sweatshirt around her more.

“Mom is in the kitchen, I’ll bring back Madi later, okay?” He spoke quietly and Clarke just nodded slowly.

Clarke slowly made her way into the kitchen to find Aurora cooking. Aurora Blake was notorious for cooking and housekeeping whenever something happened. When Clarke’s Dad died, Aurora turned up with a heap of meals ready to freeze for Clarke and her Mom. She was a mothering type of person, that’s why Clarke and most of their friends felt like part of the Blake family. Whenever she would go visit Bellamy and Octavia at college she’d bring not only meals and supplies for them but also for Murphy, Raven, and Bellamy’s old roommate Miller, who all went to the same college.

Aurora watched Clarke carefully as she sat down at the counter. Aurora immediately placed a plate of food in front of Clarke.

“I’m not hungry,” Clarke spoke quietly as she pushed the plate away.

“You might not be but your baby is.” Aurora’s signature tough love approach.

Clarke silently pulled the plate closer and started to eat the hearty pasta. She knew she needed to and she was glad that Aurora was giving her tough love, she needed it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Aurora asked quietly as she pulled a chair to the other side of the counter so she could sit opposite Clarke.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” Clarke swallowed her tears again. “I went to bed last night expecting to wake up with him in bed next to me but he’s gone.” She wiped away her tears using the sleeve of Roan’s sweatshirt. “We’re supposed to having this baby together, he was so excited and now this baby is never going to meet it’s Father.” She broke down completely now, crossing her arms over her stomach.

Aurora got out of her seat, quickly making her way over to Clarke and wrapping her arms around Clarke, kissing her head gently. Aurora just held Clarke close for a long time until Clarke calmed down again. Aurora pulled away once she knew that Clarke was ready.

“Come on finish eating, my grandbaby needs food to grow.” Aurora kissed the top of Clarke’s head slowly.

“I need to call Tybe and tell him about Roan. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with the bar.” Clarke sighed and pushed her food around the plate.

“Octavia and Lincoln are taking care of that, they’ve had everyone come in for a meeting and they explained what happened. Tybe suggested that we close the bar until after the funeral.” Aurora explained quietly.

A long silence hung in the house, it was so quiet, it was a sad silence. Almost as if the house had no life left in it. A knock on the front door made Clarke jump out of her skin. She automatically moved to get up but Aurora stopped her. Clarke could hear the muffled voices but couldn’t make out who it was.

“Clarke?” Aurora spoke quietly as she walked back into the kitchen. “Tybe is here to see you.”

Clarke got up slowly and walked to the lounge room to find Tybe sitting on one of the lounges. Clarke sat down slowly and crossed her legs slowly. She watched Tybe slowly, examining the expression he had on his face. It was one of sadness, something she had never seen him express.

“I’m so sorry Clarke,” Tybe spoke quietly, his rough aged voice breaking slightly.

A long silence hung between them again, it wasn’t an awkward silence but more like a joint silence of remembrance. Both of them remembering Roan.

“I’m the executor of Roan’s will.” He spoke again breaking the silence quietly. “He has instructions for his funeral arrangements. I’ll take care of all of that. The rest we can talk about when you’re ready.” His voice had a kind tone in it.

Clarke had a small sense of relief that she didn’t have to make those arrangements, she didn’t want to think about that doing that. She wiped away fresh tears slowly and ran her hand down her stomach slowly.

“What’s the rest of it?” Clarke’s voice cracked painfully in the way that she was on the edge of breaking down again.

“He’s left it all to you, the house, the bar and all of his assets.” He kept his voice quiet. “He really loved you, Clarke.”

Clarke broke down again and buried her head in her hands. Tybe did something she never expected. He sat next to her and pulled her into a tight hug.

“I know about the baby.” He whispered to Clarke as he held her. “Roan was so excited, he told me the night you found out. He was so happy. I have known Roan since he was a kid and I’ve never seen him happier than when he was with you.”

Clarke just cried harder into Tybe’s chest as he rubbed her back gently. Clarke had never seen this softer side of Tybe, the most emotion he had seen from the Stoic man was a smile at Madi. He stayed with Clarke for a while longer, reassuring her that he’d take care of the bar and the funeral before she spoke up saying she was tired.

Clarke was exhausted and all she wanted to do was curl up in bed. She wanted to hold Roan’s pillow and inhale his scent. She wanted to imagine he was still there, that she was curled up with her head on his chest. She wanted to wake up from this bad dream and him be there with her. Have his arms around her, have him whisper that he loved her and he was never going to leave her. She wanted to forget last’s night events and waking up today.

Clarke could hope that this was a cruel joke. She could hope that this was just a dream.

But she knew this was really happening.

He was gone.

Chapter Text

A week had passed since the two officers showed up at her door in the middle of the night and tore her heart from her chest. The pain hadn’t gotten any easier for her. The ache in Clarke’s chest had become a constant and most days she felt like she was suffocating. Tomorrow was going to be worse, tomorrow she was going to be saying goodbye to him. She didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t want to think about.

Clarke couldn’t sleep despite the fact that her body ached with exhaustion but she just laid there staring at the wall. She got up slowly with a heavy sigh and ran her hand over her stomach slowly. She looked at the alarm clock slowly. 1:47 am. Her body screamed at her when she stood up slowly, her body needed sleep but her mind wasn’t letting her.

She walked downstairs slowly and made a beeline for the kitchen. She opened the fridge and stared into it, trying to find something to satisfy her cravings.

“Can’t sleep?” Bellamy’s voice made her jump.

“Yeah and cravings.” She sighed and closed the fridge door slowly. “I thought you’d be at your mom’s.”

“I thought I’d stay over to help with Madz in the morning.” He kept his voice quiet as he watched her go through the cupboards. “I’m sorry, I should’ve asked first.”

“No, it’s okay.” Clarke sighed slowly and grabbed a few ropes of red liquorice.

Clarke watched Bellamy get a glass of water before heading back into the lounge room. She followed him and plopped down on the couch next to him. She looked at the tv and saw that he was watching some kind of documentary. It was predictable of him.

“What’s this one about?” She asked quietly as she watched the screen, taking a bite out of one of the ropes.

“It compares Greek mythological gods, Norse mythological gods and Roman mythological gods.” His voice was quiet, almost as if he didn’t want to disturb her. “It’s comparing the similarities that they all have.”

“You are a nerd.” She mumbled and took another bite.

Clarke yawned slowly before finishing off her late night snack. she was finding the documentary interesting and it was a good distraction from everything.

——— ———— ————

The early morning sun shining through the window woke Clarke up, an almost silent groan left her lips. She could feel arms around her and she could hear a heartbeat against her ear. She couldn’t remember falling asleep, she only remembered watching the documentary with Bellamy. Opening her eyes slowly and looked up to see that it was Bellamy holding her. Sitting up slowly, his arms dropped from around her but he remained asleep.

Standing up let her muscles stretch and relax, she could hear movement in the kitchen. She walked into the kitchen slowly to find Octavia making breakfast.

“Morning,” Clarke spoke up making her presence known.

“Hey.” Octavia gave her friend a small smile before walking over to hug her. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay.” Clarke nodded slowly. “I don’t even remember falling asleep last night.”

“At least you got some sleep.” Octavia nodded slowly.

Clarke was happy that neither of them brought up the fact that she had fallen asleep with Bellamy.

The smell of whatever Octavia was cooking hit her and her cravings and hunger went into overdrive.

“What are you cooking? It smells so good.” Clarke rubbed her stomach.

“Bacon and pancakes, it’ll be ready soon.” Octavia returned to the stove. “Are you ready for today?”

Roan’s funeral. Clarke didn’t want to think about it.

“Distract me, what’s new with you and Lincoln?” Clarke spoke quickly.

“Well, I’m thinking about taking a semester off, so I can stay here with you, help you with Madz and be here with you when the baby comes.” Octavia didn’t look at Clarke as she spoke.

“O, I love you and I love the fact that you want to help me but I’m not letting you do that. No way in hell.” Clarke shook her head and ran a hand over her stomach. “I’ll be fine, O. I don’t need to be babied.”

“I just worry about you.” Octavia’s head dropped slowly.

“I know.” Clarke wrapped her arms around Octavia from behind. “I promise that I’ll be okay,” Clarke whispered and Octavia turned around to hug her friend tightly.

Clarke held Octavia for a long time knowing that her friend needed it as much as she did. That’s when Clarke felt it, a flutter, a flutter released a small amount of the suffocating feeling in her chest.

“Holy shit.” Clarke gasped as Octavia moved away slowly.

“What is it?” Octavia stared at her slowly.

“The baby is moving.” Clarke gave a very slight smile as she looked down at her stomach.

“What’s does it feel like?” Octavia asked quietly and put her hand on Clarke’s rounded stomach.

“Like butterflies, I never felt this when I was pregnant with Madi,” Clarke whispered and tears began to fall from her eyes slowly.

“It’s a good thing, Clarke.” Octavia smiled and hugged Clarke again. “It means he’s healthy.”

“You think it’s a boy?” Clarke pulled away and wiped away her tears.

“Yup, it’s going to be a boy.” Octavia smiled and started to dish up the breakfast.

“Roan wanted it to be a boy, he picked out a name and everything.” Clarke let herself smile at the memory, it wasn’t a happy smile but a sad smile.

“Do you want a boy?” Octavia passed her a  plate of food.

“I just want the baby to be healthy,” Clarke admitted and sat down at the counter to start eating.

There was a long silence between them as they ate. Clarke stopped eating and just started pushing her food around the plate. The realisation of what was happening today weighing down on Clarke. She felt sick, she didn’t want to think about what she was doing today. She was saying goodbye today. Goodbye to the man she loves, to the man who changed her life, to the father of the child growing inside her. It was final and today would make it all feel so real.

——— ——— ——— ———

Clarke stared at the black dress laid out on her bed, she stared at it for the longest time before putting it on. She didn’t bother with makeup because she knew she was just going to cry and ruin it. She pinned back some of her hair before putting on sunglasses and heading downstairs. She felt like she couldn’t breathe and the dress being tight wasn’t helping. She hadn’t worn this dress since before she was pregnant. The tightness of her dress made her look more pregnant. It garnered her some looks as she walked into the service, the worst looks coming from Luna and the majority of people that she didn’t know. Tybe met her halfway down the aisle and put a hand on her back to guide her to her seat at the front of the service.

Roan had requested that the service to be held outside where he was going to be buried, Tybe had made sure that his every request was fore-filled. Clarke sank down in her chair slowly, she had hoped that the weather would reflect how she was feeling but it was a beautiful summer day instead. There was a light breeze brushing through the big oak they were sitting under, the breeze sent a shiver down her spine and the fluttering started again. Clarke was thankful that her sunglasses were able to hide how red and puffy her eyes were. She couldn't help but stare at the coffin, the box that held what was left of him. Her eyes slowly moved up from the coffin to the large picture of Roan, a happy smile on his face, his fingers running through his hair. It was her favourite picture of him, she had taken it one morning where they had decided to stay in bed with Madi and watch movies all morning.

Clarke couldn't hold back her tears as the service started, different people took turns standing up and talking about their memories of Roan. Tybe was one of the last people to stand up, he was reading the eulogy for Roan.

"I've known Roan all of his life, I saw him through his ups and downs, through his triumphs and failures. I made a promise to him when he was a baby that I'd be there for him no matter what. He was my family and I saw him as the little brother I never had. I was there for him through the hard times he faced and when he took a leap of faith to follow his dreams to open up the bar. I made sure I was there for him, helping and supporting him. He always made sure I was taken care of as well, he hired me when I lost my job, let me move in with him when I had nowhere else to go and helped me get back on my feet. He was the type of friend you could always rely on." Tybe took a deep breath and wiped away a stray tear from his eye.

Clarke held onto Octavia's hand tightly as she listened intently she could hear Madi's voice in the distance talking to Bellamy. Clarke was grateful that Bellamy was looking after Madi today, although Clarke still had to push away the guilty feeling in the pit of her stomach and remind herself that it was okay to concentrate on this while Bellamy looked after Madi, he was her father after all.

"Almost two years ago, we were having a couple of drinks at the bar when Roan told me about the job interview he had for the new bartender and how amazing this girl he had interviewed was. He told me that her name was Clarke and that she was strong, independent, tough as nails and that he thought she would fit right in. I thought it was great this girl would be starting soon which would let Roan would be able to step back and take some time for himself. He somehow slowly seemed to be at the bar more and mostly when she was on shift." Tybe laughed quietly at the memory along with some of the people sitting in the seats around Clarke. "He was in love with her from the moment he first saw her although he wouldn't admit it. He was like a nervous teenager around her but he was able to hide it through his signature stoic expression but I saw right through him. It took him almost two months for him to finally confine with me. He was worried, he was older than her and her boss but I knew that he couldn't pass this up just for those reasons. I told him to ask her out on a date. Roan being the stubborn man he was, he didn't which just drove me nuts cause he just kept talking about her constantly. It got to the point that I slapped him and told him to man the fuck up." He laughed again and wiped away another tear. "Turns out he didn't have to, Clarke had more balls than him and made the first move. The fact that she had a one-year-old daughter at the time didn't deter him at all, he fell in love with Madi just like he had fallen for her mother. Although he didn't have the balls to tell Clarke out loud that he loved her until a few months but it was unspoken between them up until then but they didn't need to say it, they both knew. I had never seen him happier than when he was with Clarke."

Clarke wiped away her own tears as she felt Octavia rub her back gently. Anya, who was sitting behind her put her hand on Clarke's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Clarke knew that Anya blamed herself for Roan's death, if she hadn't cut her hand on a broken bottle Roan would've come into the bar and he would still be alive. Clarke assured Anya that she didn't blame her at all, the only person she blamed as the drunk driver who hit Roan. The drunk driver turned out to be a regular from the bar.

"About of month ago, Roan pulled me aside at the bar, he looked like a giddy teenager, he had some news he had to tell me. He proudly told me that he and Clarke had just found out that she was pregnant and that he was going to be a father. I'd never seen anyone as proud as he was in that moment. He couldn't wait to be a father and he couldn't wait to have his family with Clarke and Madi. Roan was a tough man but anyone who truly knew him knows that he had a big heart and that he'd do anything for his friends and the family he had built with Clarke." Tybe finished speaking and sat back down next to Clarke slowly and put an arm around her slowly.

After a few moments, Clarke stood up slowly and walked over to the coffin slowly. She stared at the oak coffin for a long time, she knew everyone was watching her and starting to line up to say their goodbyes.

"I wish this was a dream, I can't believe you're gone," Clarke whispered slowly and rubbed swell of her stomach slowly. "I love you." She kissed her fingers and pressed them to the coffin before slowly turning away.

The fluttering in her stomach was the only thing giving her comfort as she walked back to her seat.

———— ———— ———— ————

Tybe held his hand out to Clarke which she gladly took as she got out of Octavia’s car slowly. Clarke was surprised with how supportive Tybe had been since Roan’s death, considering he was usually the strong silent type. He led her into the bar slowly, making sure she was okay every step of the way. The bar was already filled with people from the funeral. There was a buffet set up and Anya was working behind the bar. Clarke sat down slowly at one of the tables slowly with a sigh. She felt overwhelmed by the number of people here. The picture from the funeral was now hanging on the wall in the bar along with a picture of Roan smirking down at Clarke, it was from the Friday night before the accident when they were dancing on the bar. 

“Clarke?” Tybe asked quietly noticing that Clarke was staring at the picture.

“I love that picture,” Clarke spoke quietly as she finally looked at Tybe.

“I got it from the photographer, I thought you’d like it.” He rubbed the back off her neck slowly.

“Thank you.” Clarke got up and hugged him slowly.

When she pulled away she saw people waving Tybe over.

“It’s okay, go,” Clarke assured him slowly.

“I’ll be back soon.” He assured carefully. 

“I’m okay.” She assured him again and watched him walk away slowly.

Clarke looked around the room slowly before realising that Anya was swamped at the bar. Clarke walked behind the bar quickly.

“No Clarke, I’m okay,” Anya spoke immediately when she noticed Clarke.

“Too bad.” Clarke retorted and started taking orders to make drinks.

“So you’re Clarke.” A low female voice made Clarke look up slowly.

Standing at the bar was a woman close to Roan’s age with curly dark red hair. Clarke knew it was Luna but they had never actually met.

“Yep, I’m Clarke,” Clarke spoke bluntly as she finished making the drinks for the person next to Luna.

“You’re young.” Luna looked at Clarke up and down slowly.

“Yeah what of it?” Clarke snapped not appreciating Luna’s tone.

“You don’t seem like Roan’s type.” Luna snarked back as she stared daggers at Clarke.

“What would you know? You weren’t in his life for the last eight years.” Clarke was quickly losing her temper.

“Leave her the fuck alone.” Octavia seemed to have appeared out of nowhere to stand next to Luna.

“You’re Lincoln’s girlfriend, aren’t you?” Luna gave Octavia a once over with pursed lips.

“Don’t even start with me.” Octavia shook her head. “Get your drink and go back to wherever the fuck you’re sitting.”

Luna grabbed her drink with a scoff and disappeared to the other side of the bar.

“Go get some food and sit down,” Anya ordered with a stern look.

“Fine.” Clarke sighed slowly.

In all honesty, Clarke just wanted to keep herself busy. She walked back to her table and sat down slowly, staring at the picture of Roan looking down at her. She blocked out everything and just stared at it. Her heart pounded in her chest.

“We need to talk.” Luna marched over to the table.

Clarke felt like her dress was getting tighter. Her heart was beating faster and louder. she couldn’t even hear Luna’s rant at her. She gasped for air and started to hyperventilate. It felt like the room was closing in on her. She stood up slowly and gasped for air. She felt her knees become weak and begin to buckle before everything went black. 

Chapter Text

“I’m fine, O,” Clarke grumbled as she crossed her arms over her chest as she sat up in the hospital bed.

“You passed out.” Octavia countered as she watched her stubborn friend.

“I just needed some air and my stupid dress was too tight then Luna bombarded me. It was just a lot to handle.” Clarke admitted with a small sigh as she rubbed her forehead slowly.

“This is why I should take a semester off, stay here and help you.” Octavia put her hands on her hips as she stared down Clarke.

“I’m not letting you postpone your future just because I lost Roan.” Clarke snapped frustrated as tears began to well up in her eyes. “He’s gone and I feel like I’ve had my heart ripped out of my chest but I can’t just put a hold on my life or let you put a hold on yours. I have this baby and Madi to think about. I’ll be fine, O. Today was just a hard day okay.” Clarke wiped her tears away and laid back on the bed slowly.

There was a silence between the two friends, mostly because Octavia didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to do to help Clarke. The silence was broken when Nyko came in pushing the ultrasound machine.

“So I was told you had a panic attack today.” Nyko’s voice was gravely yet soft at the same time.

“My dress was too tight and emotions were running high,” Clarke explained quietly.

“We’ll check on the baby and make sure everything is all healthy. Did you want a few minutes to wait for Roan to get here so he can see the baby too?” Nyko smiled at Clarke slowly while Octavia threw her arms up in the air.

Octavia went to speak but Clarke cut her off.

“Roan died last week.” Clarke clarified and watched Nyko’s face drop, a look of guilt washed over his face.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” Nyko’s voice dropped as he spoke to her.

Clarke didn't want to think about it, today had been too much for her already.

“Can I see my baby now?” Clarke asked quietly.

Clarke pulled up Her hospital gown and let Nyko start the ultrasound. She watched the screen carefully as the black and white outline of the baby came up. Octavia held onto Clarke’s hand and watched the screen carefully. Clarke felt Octavia's grip tighten on her hand as they both watched the screen closely.

“You’re measuring to be 15 weeks and 1 day, everything looks healthy. So you’re a little further along then I first thought but that’s okay. I can see the gender if you’d like to know.” Nyko looked at Clarke and watched her nod slowly. “You’re having a boy.”

A smile spread across Clarke’s face as she stared at the baby on the screen. She blocked out the rest of the world as she focused on the baby. She was having a boy.

——— ——— ——— ——— ———

Clarke was surprised when Octavia climbed into bed with her later that night. They laid facing each other in silence for few minutes. Clarke’s birthday was tomorrow but she had already told everyone that she wasn’t doing anything for it and she definitely didn't want presents. She didn’t feel like celebrating, she just wanted it to be like a normal day. They used to share a bed a lot throughout their childhood. They were even sharing a bed when Clarke had moved into the Blake house, they stopped once Madi was born mainly for the fact that Octavia was terrifying when she was woken up in the middle of the night.

“Hey O?” Clarke broke the silence between them.

“Yeah?” Octavia spoke quietly as she watched Clarke carefully.

“I don’t think Bellamy will visit Madi as much as he says he’s going to.” Clarke’s voice was quiet.

There was a guilt eating at her for even saying it but she needed to talk about. Clarke had been sceptical about Bellamy’s almost instantaneous flip to wanting to be in Madi’s life. She had completely ignored it at first, mainly for the fact that she wanted Bellamy to be a part of Madi’s life. But now, knowing he was leaving two days she couldn’t push it away.

“Why?” Octavia’s brow furrowed deeply as she watched Clarke.

“He just flipped suddenly and decided he wants to be apart of her life. It’s been three years, O. Why now? I don’t understand, what suddenly changed?” Clarke raked her hand through her hair. "it's not like I ever kept Madi away from him, if he wanted to be there he could've easily. even after all the bullshit he put me through. but He's only seen her once or twice every holiday until now, all of a sudden he spends every day with her. It doesn’t make sense to me.”

“Well...” Octavia spoke quietly. “He hasn’t got that manipulative bitch controlling him anymore.” Octavia tried to explain.

“That still doesn’t explain it.” Clarke sighed frustrated. “She couldn’t have controlled him that much.”

“She made my brother unrecognisable,” Octavia commented quietly with a small shrug.

“Am I over thinking this?” Clarke asked quietly.

“Maybe a little,” Octavia admitted quietly. “Just wait and see. If he breaks Madi’s heart I will break his face.”

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh quietly at Octavia’s promise to break Bellamy’s face. Deep down she knew she let Bellamy back into Madi’s life too easily. Maybe it was for selfish reasons because she wanted Bellamy to step up and be a father. She knew that she would just need to wait and see how things went after he went back to campus. One thing that she knew was if he fucked this up, she wouldn’t let him back into Madi’s life as easily as she did this time.

“If he fucks up this time, I’m not letting him back into her life unless he works for it and proves to me that he actually wants to be a father to her.” Clarke pledged as she turned on her back to stare at the ceiling.

“Good, if he fucks this up he deserves to suffer.” Octavia did the same as Clarke and laid on her back, staring up at the ceiling.

Clarke was happy to just spend some time with Octavia, she always knew how to distract her properly and make her laugh for the first time since Roan had died.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Octavia was watching her again as she turned onto her side again.

“Yeah.” Clarke turned as well and hugged Octavia tightly. “I love you O.”

“I love you too Clarkie.” Octavia couldn’t hide her smile as she hugged her friend tightly.

——— ——— ——— ——— ———

Clarke shouldn’t have been surprised when all of her friends showed up to her house. It wasn’t a big birthday celebration but rather a quiet get together to make her feel better. Clarke didn’t mind it, it helped her actually, it helped her realise that her life needed to go on and that Roan wouldn’t want her to be sad for the rest of her life but rather remember the happy times they had together.

Clarke couldn’t help but smile as she looked around at her friend and family sitting around her lounge room. Raven and Murphy were sitting on the floor near the coffee table with Madi happily perched on Murphy’s lap. Monty and Jasper were sitting on the bean bags that Roan loves which Clarke couldn’t quite understand because she found them the most uncomfortable things she had ever sat on. Monty and Jasper both started dating girls from their college, Monty was more shy about it but Jasper was more than happy to start talking about his new girlfriend. Aurora sat on the three seater lounge with Tybe, who had seemed to have opened up to not only Clarke but Aurora as well because they seemed to easily fall into deep conversations. Lincoln and Octavia were cuddled up on the two-seater lounge, Clarke was happy that Octavia was happily in love and it was the first time since Roan’s death that they had been affectionate with each other. Octavia confessed the night before that she had been worried to upset Clarke if she was super affectionate with Lincoln but Clarke assured her that she was just happy that Octavia had found someone like Lincoln.

Clarke looked down at her stomach with a smile as she sat cross-legged on the armchair. Clarke had noted that Bellamy hadn’t turned up but brushed it away quickly. She could feel the fluttering every so often which she liked because it reminded her that the baby was safe. She had sworn Octavia to secrecy about the gender bust Clarke knew that Octavia wouldn’t be able to keep a secret for long.

“I’m having a boy,” Clarke spoke up and everyone stared at her for a second.

Raven and Aurora were the first ones to jump up and hug Clarke tightly. Monty, Jasper, Murphy and Lincoln offered her congratulations While Tybe hugged her after Aurora and Raven moved back to their seats. Clarke and Tybe didn’t speak they just hugged each other tightly before sitting back down.

“Mommy?” Madi spoke up as she crawled onto Clarke’s lap.

“Yeah, baby?” Clarke brushed Madi’s hair behind her ear with a smile.

“Mommy getting fat.” Madi smiled and poked Clarke’s stomach with a small giggle.

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh and kiss Madi’s head gently with a smile. Aurora and Octavia were watching them wide-eyed while Clarke just laughed even louder.

“Your baby brother is in Mommy’s belly.” Clarke smiled down at her Madi as the little girl cuddled up to Clarke more.

“Baby brother?” Madi grinned as she rolled her Rs.

“Yeah, baby brother,” Clarke whispered quietly as her stomach twisted in guilt and sadness washed over her.

The realisation that Roan was never going to meet their son or even know that it was a boy. Her arms tightened around Madi and she kissed her head gently until Madi pushed away. Madi never liked to be held for too long, she was a very independent little girl. Clarke needed to distract herself to stop herself from crying.

“Did Bellamy say what time he was leaving tomorrow? So I can take Madi over to say goodbye.” Clarke let Madi get off her lap.

Madi pulled at Jasper and Monty’s arms, urging them to get up. They followed the little girl out to the backyard. Raven and Murphy ended up following Jasper and Monty outside.

“He left this morning,” Aurora spoke up.

Clarke didn’t say anything as she got up and walked over to the kitchen to get her phone. She could feel her anger boiling up inside her as she dialled his number.

“He-,” Bellamy answered but Clarke immediately cut him off.

“I knew it was too good to be fucking true,” Clarke spoke through her teeth. “So you just upped and left, didn’t think to say goodbye to your daughter?” She could hear him open his mouth to talk again but she cut him off before he could make a sound. “I was so fucking stupid to think you could fucking man up and be a father to her.”

“For fucks sake Clarke, I had to get back for class registration.” Bellamy snapped back at Clarke.

“You could’ve just told me, Bellamy, this isn’t going to work if we don’t communicate.” Clarke groaned loudly.

“So I have to tell you everything that I’m doing?” Bellamy scoffed.

“If it concerns our daughter then yeah you do.” Clarke sighed loudly. “I actually thought you were becoming a better person but you know what I was wrong.” She looked down and sighed. “Call me when you decided to man the fuck up and then maybe we’ll talk about when you can see Madi.” Clarke hung up frustrated.

“You okay?” Octavia asked quietly.

“Your fucking brother is like a fucking yo-yo.” Clarke groaned loudly.

Clarke groaned again as her phone rang again.

“You have to let me fucking talk Clarke,” Bellamy spoke through his teeth. “I’m still getting used to this.”

“Talk then,” Clarke spoke quietly.

“Alternate weekends, I’ll come down or I’ll pick her up. If things need to be changed I’ll call you.” His voice was firm but Clarke just shook her head.

“Alternating weekends, you can come and see Madi at your mom’s place only. You’ve only been in her life for the last few months and I can’t let her stay at your place yet.” She countered as she watches Octavia stare at her.

“She’s my daughter too, she can come stay at my apartment.” His annoyance was obvious which just made Clarke roll her eyes.

“No, she can stay at your place once I know you’re going to be a constant in her life.” Clarke ran a hand through her hair. “And once I feel comfortable to have her stay at your place, she can but that’s going to take time.” She took a deep breath. “Madi is your daughter but you’ve only just came into her life.”

“I know that Clarke but I’ve tried to prove it to you all summer.” Bellamy sighed loudly into the phone.

“But leaving without telling me or saying goodbye to her isn’t proving it.” She sighed and sank down to sit on the kitchen floor.

“We’ll go by your terms then.” Bellamy sighed and hung up slowly.

Clarke sighed and rubbed her forehead slowly. Octavia sat on the floor next to Clarke and immediately Clarke laid her head on Octavia’s shoulder with a sigh.

“Your brother is impossible,” Clarke grumbled quietly. “I feel like I’m just going around in circles with him.”

“It’ll get better,” Octavia assured her quietly.

“I want to punch your brother in the dick sometimes,” Clarke admitted which just made them both laugh.

——— ——— ——— ——— ———

Being home alone with just Madi was weird but it was good at the same time. After Lincoln and Octavia left, Clarke settled down on the lounge with Madi to watch a movie. Clarke honestly just wanted some quiet time with Madi. This was the first time it had just been the two of them in the house since Roan's death. The thought of Roan just made her pull Madi closer to her and kiss her head gently.

"Mommy? You sad?" Madi looked up slowly at Clarke with her bright blue-green eyes.

"Yeah baby, Mommy is a little sad." Clarke did her best not to cry as she looked down at her daughter.

"Miss Ro." Madi's face dropped even more which broke Clarke's heart, she had been so consumed by her own grief that she had even thought about the fact that her daughter would be grieving too.

"I miss him too." Clarke brushed Madi's hair out of her face gently as she bit back tears quietly.

"You okay?" Madi frowned deeply as she touched Clarke's face gently.

"Yeah baby, Mommy's okay." Clarke pulled Madi closer and kissed her head.

Despite the crushing need to break down and stop doing everything, Clarke knew that she couldn't. She knew that Roan wouldn't want her to shut out the world and wallow in her sadness, he'd want her to focus on their family and that's what she was going to do. Focus on Madi and her son.

Chapter Text

Adjusting to life without Roan had been hard for Clarke and it took a lot of adjusting, she still found herself waking up in the middle of the night after having a nightmare and instinctively rolling over to cuddle up to Roan but finding his side of the bed empty. it always took her a few moments to remember that he was gone. On nights like that, she'd find comfort by rolling out of bed and pulling on one of his shirts or one of his jumpers before getting back into bed. It happened a lot in the first month and it got to the point where she'd just wear his shirts to bed every night. Keeping busy seemed to help as well, she'd focus on the bar and Madi, to the point where she'd gotten into a routine. She'd do the day shifts at the bar on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays then work every second weekend when Bellamy had Madi at Aurora's. That was working up until Bellamy had skipped the two weekends leading up to Thanksgiving. The first weekend that he had missed was his normal weekend but the second weekend was the one he had reorganized after missing the first. Bellamy had called to apologize and explain that he couldn't come to see Madi because he had some big papers to finish. Clarke understood that he had papers to do but just wished she had a little bit more notice.

Clarke was right when she called Bellamy a yo-yo. One phone call would end up with them in a fight because he was accusing her of not acknowledging the fact that he was trying. The next call, he was apologetic and acknowledging the fact that he could be trying harder. Honestly, the whole thing gave her whiplash and she was getting beyond frustrated with it. Octavia was sick of it too mainly for the fact that she was the one getting the phone calls from Clarke complaining about Bellamy. It got to the point where even Aurora was getting frustrated at Bellamy, by the beginning of October, she had told Bellamy to see a counsellor. Reluctantly, Bellamy had gone to counselling and it started to slow down the yo-yoing, which was a huge relief for Clarke. The yo-yoing would still happen but it had way less of a whiplash effect on Clarke.

By the time Thanksgiving break had come around, Clarke was run off her feet. The bar had been way busier than usual and she was left short staffed after she had to fire one of the new bartenders for giving out free drinks all night to their large group of friends. Clarke had been working the extra shifts despite Tybe's protests. The search for a new bartender was put off until after Thanksgiving because it was impossible to lock down anyone for an interview this close to the holiday. Clarke could've kissed Octavia when she promised to work Black Friday when they had a band playing, it was honestly the best news Clarke had heard all week.

Clarke walked into the bar slowly for her shift, she sighed quietly and rested her hand on her rounded stomach as she made her way upstairs to the office. The stairs had started to become a struggle for her as she entered her 24th week but now being 26 weeks pregnant she had slowly started to get the hang of them despite the fact that she was losing the ability to see her feet slowly. Clarke thought she was big when she was pregnant with Madi but this pregnancy was a whole different ballpark. The biggest difference was that this baby moved and kicked way more than Madi did, Clarke would only feel Madi kick maybe once a day but with this baby, Clarke could feel him kicking more times then she could count. Walking into the office she found Tybe sitting at the desk with a bunch of paperwork, he had taken a manager's position since Roan passed and would help Clarke keep the bar running smoothly.

"Clarke, what are you doing here?" Tybe frowned as he looked up at her.

"Hello to you too." Clarke huffed with a small smirk. "I'm working tonight."

"You shouldn't be." His frown managed to get deeper. "You should be resting."

"Nyko said it's fine for me to work, just no heavy lifting." She shrugged and put her bag down before taking off her jacket.

“When does Octavia get back so she can talk some sense into you?” His voice was grumpy as he pushed aside the paperwork.

“Tomorrow morning, she’s taking my shifts all this week except for the night the band is playing.” She ran her hand her stomach slowly.

“How’s my nephew doing?” He ran his hand down his beard slowly.

“Good, he kicks like there’s no tomorrow.” She smiled slowly. “You coming to Aurora’s for Thanksgiving?”

“Ain’t got nowhere else to go.” Tybe shrugged slowly.

“Good because I want all of my family there." she smiled slowly as she watched a small smile play on his lips.

Tybe was definitely part of her family, he did so much for Clarke and Madi that she could never thank him enough. Despite the fact that she found it rather annoying sometimes, he was always looking out for her and making sure she wasn't overworking herself or doing anything that could possibly hurt her or the baby.

"Let's make a deal." A smirk started to form on her lips as she watched him sit up slowly looking intrigued. "I'll take fewer shifts if you ask Aurora out on a date."

Clarke wanted them to get together, mainly for the fact that there was so much chemistry between them and she knew they both liked each other but wouldn't act on their feelings. There was only a few years in the age gap between them and both of them haven't dated in a long time.

"Stop," Tybe grumbled.

Clarke laughed quietly as she walked out of the office slowly.

--------- ----------- ---------- --------- --------- ---------- -------- -------

"Can I get a drink?"

A voice broke Clarke out of her thoughts as she cleared tables, it was around 8 pm and still pretty quiet. She turned on her heels in the direction of the voice and raised her eyebrow. Bellamy was standing behind her with his hands shoved into his pockets. His usual mess of dark curls were damp from the rain outside, pieces stuck to his forehead but he brushed them back as he ran his hand through his hair slowly.

"Hey, Clarke." His voice snapped her out of her shock.

"Hey, I thought you weren't coming until tomorrow." Clarke let a smile play on her lips as she watched him.

Clarke couldn't help but think about how sexy Bellamy looked right now, his grey shirt was tight against his chest, it showed off his hard, toned muscles perfectly and his dark jeans were tight in all the right places. She bit her lip slowly as she took in his appearance.

Damn hormones, she inwardly cursed as she tried to focus again.

"I want to surprise Madi in the morning and talk to you about something." His voice was husky as his eyes danced over her slowly.

"Well I'll get you that drink and we can talk." She felt nerves building up inside her slowly.

Clarke could feel his eyes on her as she walked back to the bar, bent down to grab him a beer and water for herself. She led him to one of the empty tables and sat down slowly. Clarke shifted uncomfortably under his gaze as he smiled at her.

"What?" She asked nervously.

"You look good pregnant." His smile was one of his genuine smiles, it reminded her of the smile he had when he met Madi the day she was born.

"Thanks." She offered him a smile slowly. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Spending more time with Madi during this break and Winter break." He explained slowly which just made Clarke frown confused. "I wanted to ask if I could stay at your place this week and during winter break. That way I'll be able to spend more time with Madi."

"You want to stay in my house?" She raised an eyebrow slowly at him.

"Yeah." He nodded and took a long sip of his beer.

"We fight all the time." She watched him carefully as she played with the cap of her water bottle.

"Well, my counsellor thinks that it'll be good for us. A way for us to build a better friendship, so we can co-parent better." He took another long sip as he watched her.

"There's a but in there, I can feel it." She focused on him, trying to read his body language.

"But he's given us a few exercises we need to do. To build trust." He clarified as he watched her carefully.

"Alright but ground rules." She leant forward and spoke in a serious tone. "No fighting in front of Madi, nothing negative around her. If we have a problem that we need to sort out with each other, we leave Madi with someone and we sort it out."

"Deal." He nodded slowly.

"No hookups in my house." She narrowed her eyes at him. “I’m serious, Bell.”

Bellamy mocked being offended with a smirk. Which just made Clarke shake her head.

“I would never.” He faked a serious look on his face but struggled not to smile.

“I’m serious.” She laughed and shook her head.

“No fucking in the house, got it.” He smiled at her slowly. “What if it’s us? Are we allowed to fuck in the house?” He raised an eyebrow slowly.

Clarke was shocked at his question, they hadn’t even reached the making jokes like this until now. Somehow, Clarke felt comfortable, maybe it was because she felt like this was how they used to be between them.

Before Clarke could answer, a small group walking into the bar caught her eye. Two particular members of the group caught her eye. Her mother, Abby and Marcus Kane. Clarke never had an issue with Kane, he was always nice to her. But the sight of her mother made her roll her eyes.

“I’ll be back, duty calls.” Clarke sighed slowly and started to get up.  “By the way.” She lowered her voice. “We’re not going to be fucking.” She laughed as she walked bar to the bar.

“Clarke, I didn’t know you worked here.” Abby’s voice cut through the noise in the bar and sent a shiver down her spine but Clarke just ignored her.

The male bartender, Atom walked over to them to serve them realising who they were while Clarke cleaned the bar.

“Can I speak to the manager?” Abby spoke loud enough for Clarke to hear.

“Clarke?” Atom smirked as he turned to Clarke.

“What seems to be the problem, Abby?” Clarke walked over to her slowly.

“So you manage a bar to support your daughter? Do you have a plan for your future?” Abby gestured to Clarke’s stomach which just made Clarke roll her eyes.

“Are you here for something or are you just here to criticise me?” Clarke crossed her arms slowly.

“I’m just concerned at your ability to be a good mother while your still a child yourself.” Abby countered with a disapproving look. “Managing a bar? Seriously, Clarke.”

“That’s enough, Abby,” Marcus muttered in an annoyed voice. “Clarke, it’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too, Marcus.” Clarke offered Kane a small smile.

“I believe congratulations are in order.” Marcus smiled slowly. “I was wondering if the owner was in tonight. I have a friend who manages a few bands that are looking to play in the area and they’ve heard some great things about this place.”

“We can definitely accommodate them.” Clarke nodded slowly and grabbed the card with the Bar’s booking details on it, she passed it to Marcus slowly.  “This is our booking information.”

“Oh, I was told to contact a man named Roan.” Marcus frowned confused.

Hearing his name hurt, she hadn’t heard someone say it in a few weeks. The baby kicking broke Clarke out of her thoughts.

“Roan passed away almost three months ago. I own the bar now.” Clarke explained quietly. “Can I get you something to drink before we sit down to talk about the bookings?”

“Scotch but can we make a meeting time instead?” Marcus seemed a little awkward now.

“Sure, I can do anytime tomorrow.” Clarke nodded slowly as she poured his drink.

“I’m free midday, does that work?” He watched her nod before smiling slowly.

“Do you even know who’s the father?” Abby spoke up and raised her eyebrow at Clarke.

Clarke felt anger boiling up inside her as she ran a hand through her hair.

“His Father is Roan,” Clarke spoke through her teeth, her anger boiling inside her.

“Clarke, I’m so sorry,” Marcus spoke up and elbowed Abby.

“Thank you,” Clarke spoke quietly. “I get it, Abby, I’m the family shame but the real shame of the family is you.” Clarke shot daggers at her mother. “You’re the one who kicked me out, you’re the one who will never know her grandchildren.” Clarke kept her voice steady as she crossed her arms slowly. “You judge me  as a mother with your holy than thou attitude but I sure as hell wouldn’t kick my daughter out when she’s sixteen when she needs her mother more than ever.” She was shaking with anger now. “You didn’t even ask me what I was going to do or if I needed to talk about it, you just set the timer and told me to get out.”

“Because that Blake boy was never good enough for you. You were following in his mother’s footsteps.” Abby snapped back at Clarke.

“Aurora is a better mother than you’ll ever be. She took me in without even knowing that it was her grandchild, she talked to me and asked me what I wanted to do. She supported me. Do you want to know why?” Clarke crossed her arms and watched her mother carefully. “Because she had more decency in her little finger than you do in your whole body.” She kept staring daggers at Abby. “I’m so glad that my kids will never know you and will never know what a horrible human being you are.”

Clarke watched her mother carefully waiting to see if she’d react. Abby was in shock, she just stood there with her mouth open.

“I think you should leave Abby.” Clarke narrowed her eyes slowly.

Abby walked out slowly, still in shock. Marcus finished his drink, gave a quick nod to Clarke before leaving with the two other people who came with them.

“Hey, Tybe?” Clarke spoke quietly as she walked into the storeroom where he was doing inventory.

“Yeah?” Tybe looked up from his clipboard slowly.

“I’m heading home, it’s quite and I’ll see you tomorrow okay?” She rubbed her back slowly.

“Go home, rest.” He ordered with a quick nod.

Clarke gave Tybe a quick hug before heading upstairs to get her bag and coat. She dialled Octavia’s number and told her what happened with Abby. She explained what had happened with Bellamy and how she was letting him stay at her place.

“So Bellamy’s staying at your place this week and winter break?” Octavia question for the third time.

“Yup, he’s staying at my place,” Clarke spoke as she walked into her house slowly.

“This is going to be interesting.” Octavia laughed as Clarke started to take her boots off slowly.

“You’re telling me.” Clarke wasn’t sure what she had gotten herself into but it definitely going to be interesting.

Chapter Text

Today was the day, Bellamy was moving in. Not permanently, just for the week but it all still felt weird for Clarke. During the summer, she would have never allowed it but the changing of seasons had led to not only a change in weather but a complete change in Clarke’s life. She was alone now and honestly, she hated it. She had Madi but it wasn’t the same, the house felt so empty without Roan in it. Maybe having Bellamy in the house will make it feel less empty, it wouldn’t be the same as having Roan in the house with her but it would be something. Having both parents under the same roof would be good for Madi.

Clarke walked downstairs with a sigh, the house was eerily quiet, she hated mornings like this. Waking up with Madi in her bed was her favourite thing, especially after she lost Roan, it made her feel like she wasn’t alone. Clarke readjusted Roan’s shirt over her growing stomach as she walked into the kitchen. Clarke felt her heart jump into her throat when she found Octavia and Lincoln sitting at her kitchen counter.

“You scared the shit out of me.” Clarke breathed out as she held her chest.

“We wanted to surprise you.” Octavia smiled as she jumped out of her seat to hug Clarke.

“I took no part in this decision.” Lincoln raised his hands defensively.

“I’ve missed you Clarkie.” Octavia hugged Clarke tightly.

“I’ve missed you too O.” Clarke instantly relaxed and hugged Octavia tightly. “I’ve missed both of you.”

Clarke moved to give Lincoln a quick hug before stepping back and running a hand through her hair.

“It’s getting long,” Octavia commented as she nodded towards Clarke’s hair.

“Yeah, pregnancy does that,” Clarke mumbled.

Her hair was now past her shoulders by almost two inches and her dark pink almost red streaks were completely faded back to blonde.

“When did you guys get here?” Clarke looked between the couple as Octavia took her seat again.

“We got to Mom’s at about 8 am,” Octavia commented. “We wanted to leave campus before the snow hit, so we left at 5 this morning.”

“I slept late,” Clarke mumbled as she looked at the Clock, it was almost 10 am. “I have a meeting at midday and then I need to go to the lawyers.”

“Why do you need to see the lawyers?” Octavia frowned deeply as she watched Clarke.

“Luna is contesting Roan’s will.” Clarke sighed and crossed her arms. “My lawyer said it won’t work but apparently her lawyer has sent new demands.”

A deep scowl began to form on Lincoln’s face as he watched Clarke carefully. His face held a disapproving look as his clenched into tight fists on the bench.

“What the hell was her last set of demands?” Octavia frowned deeply.

“The house, the bar and half of what was in his bank account,” Clarke mumbled and started to make herself a cup of tea.

“How can she even do that?” Octavia frowned slowly.

“I don’t know but I’ve got to meet with my lawyer to figure out what the hell to do.” Clarke sighed and rubbed her forehead stressed out.

“So she thinks she’s entitled to his stuff because they were married for a year when they were like 19?” Octavia frowned even deeper as she watched her friend run her hand over her rounded stomach.

“I can talk to her.” Lincoln finally spoke up causing both women to look at him.

“Thank you, Lincoln but I think it’ll be best if I just do what the lawyer says,” Clarke spoke quietly, the stress in her voice obvious.

“Get dressed and we’ll go out for breakfast,” Octavia spoke up knowing that the subject needed to be changed.

——— ——— ——— ———

Clarke walked into Aurora’s house slowly later that afternoon after her meeting with the lawyer. The house was quiet which Clarke knew that Madi was either not in the house or having a nap. She walked through the house to find Aurora sitting in the garden on a blanket reading a book. Clarke quietly sat next to Aurora and ran a hand over her stomach.

“How did it go?” Aurora asked quietly as she placed her bookmark on the page she was up to before gently tossing the book to the side.

“Luna wants Everything, the house, the money, the bank account. She wants it all.” Clarke’s voice shook as she spoke. “My lawyer wants it to go to court.” She let out a shaky breath.

“Does she really feel that entitled?” Aurora raised her eyebrow at Clarke slowly.

Clarke nodded slowly as some stray tears escaped her eyes slowly followed by a quiet whimper.

“They’re exhuming Roan because I need to prove the baby is his.” Clarke quickly wiped away her tears. “The lawyer said that it’ll strengthen our case against Luna and the baby can legally have Roan’s name on his birth certificate.”

Aurora pulled Clarke into a tight hug which just led to Clarke breaking down into more tears. Neither of them noticed the back door had opened until Madi barrelled into Clarke. The little girl jumping into her lap made Clarke pull away from Aurora slowly. Madi put her hands on each side of Clarke’s face, the little girl frowned deeply as she eyed her mother’s face.  Madi held Clarke’s face between her hands when she wanted her mother to tell her the truth or when she wanted to look at her mother’s face carefully.

“You okay?” Madi asked quietly.

“Yeah baby, Mommy is okay,” Clarke spoke quietly and brushed Madi’s hair behind her ear.

“You sad?” The little girl’s bottom lip dropped as she watched her mother with a sad look on her face.

“Mommy is a little sad but that’s okay,” Clarke spoke quietly and gave her daughter a small sad smile. “Mommy is okay.”

Madi just cuddled up to Clarke closely, the little girl’s hands running up and down her mother’s stomach slowly.

“Did you have fun with Daddy today?” Clarke asked quietly after a few minutes.

“We went to the park and fed ducks.” Madi grinned widely as she looked up at Clarke.

“That sounds like fun.” Clarke gave Madi a small smile. “Did Daddy tell you that he’s coming to stay at our house?”

“No!” Madi’s face immediately lit up as she looked over Clarke’s shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Is it okay that Daddy stays at your house?” Bellamy’s voice was quiet with a kind tone as he knelt down next to Clarke.

“Yeah!” Madi giggles loudly as she leapt from Clarke’s lap to Bellamy’s arms.

Clarke watched Madi with Bellamy quietly for a few minutes as they both spoke to each other about Bellamy staying with them. When Aurora got up slowly to head back inside, Madi ran after her. Leaving Bellamy and Clarke alone, they both sat in a comfortable silence until Bellamy broke it with a quiet voice.

“I’m graduating early, I officially finish after finals next month,” Bellamy spoke quietly as Clarke looked at him slowly.

“What’s your plan?” Clarke raised her eyebrow at him slowly.

“Find a place around here, I got offered a job at the high school, so I’ll be here for Madi.” He gave her a small bright smile.

“What about your baby with Echo?” She frowned slightly as she watched him closely.

“I’m only going to be part-time, Mom said she can take the baby on the three days a week I’ll be working.” He explained quietly. “The school has already said that I can take the first six weeks off after the baby is born.”

“That’s good.” She looked at the birds in the trees slowly.

“It’s a girl, I’m naming her Minerva.” His voice carried a joyous tone that showed whenever he spoke about Madi or the baby. “After the Roman Goddess.”

“I like that name.” She turned slowly and gave Bellamy a small smile. “It’s very you.”

“You got a name for your little boy?” Bellamy smiled slowly as he watched her.

“Theo,” Clarke spoke quietly, she hadn’t told anyone about what she was naming the baby but it felt right to open up to Bellamy. “Roan told me he wanted to name the baby Theo if it was a boy and Glass of it was a girl the day before he died.”

Clarke flinched slightly as Bellamy rubbed her back slowly. She looked at him slowly and felt herself slowly start to break down again but she was trying her best to keep it in. It was easy to keep it in when Bellamy started to rub her back again.

“Need to talk about it?” Bellamy’s voice was quiet with a soft comforting tone.

Clarke took a deep breath, hoping the new oxygen in her lungs would help her get the words out without breaking down.

“They’re exhuming Roan because I need to prove the baby is his.” Clarke paused again and took another deep breath. “Luna is contesting his will, she’s trying to get everything. My lawyer said if we do the DNA test to prove it then it will block Luna from contesting.”

“I’m sorry, Clarke.” Bellamy sighed, helplessness in his voice. “Is there anything I can do to make this easier for you?”

“Thank you, Bell.” She sighed relieved. “I’m asking my doctor at my next ultrasound about what I need to do.”

“Why don’t we get take out for dinner and have a movie night with Madz?” He offered Clarke a small smile.

“I’d like that.” She nodded slowly.

——— ——— ——— ———

Maybe Bellamy staying here wasn’t such a bad idea, Clarke thought as she gently stroked Madi’s hair as the movie started. Madi was comfortably nestled between Clarke and Bellamy. Madi shifted so she cuddled into Bellamy’s side. Bellamy put his arm around Madi and kissed the little girl’s head gently.

Slowly as the animated movie played on the little girl’s eyelids began to droop until they completely shut and she began snoring quietly. The little girl’s mouth hung open against Bellamy’s shirt and slowly created a drool puddle on his shirt. This caused Bellamy to flinch slightly when he felt the wetness and a small giggle to escape Clarke’s lips.

“O used to drool like that.” Bellamy let out a quiet chuckle.

“Our daughter is a lot like her aunt.” Clarke smiled at Bellamy slowly, resting her head on the back of the couch. “We should get her into bed.”

Bellamy nods and scoops Madi up before standing up slowly. Clarke walked ahead of him up the stairs and pulled back the blankets on Madi’s bed. Bellamy laid her on her bed, tucking their Teddy bear Roan gave her and the red dragon near her before kissing her head gently.

Clarke leant against the door frame as she watched Bellamy slowly, a smile playing on her lips. Bellamy flashed a proud smile as he walked towards Clarke. She pushed off the door frame and walked downstairs slowly.

“You raised a good kid.” Bellamy was quiet as they walked into the kitchen slowly.

“Thank you.” Clarke smile as she got the ice cream out.

“We made an awesome kid.” He smiled slowly and got the bowls out. “So O is taking Madi out tomorrow, I thought we could grab lunch and do one of the exercises the councillor gave me.”

“Yeah, it’s probably a good idea that Madi isn’t around when we do this.” She spoke quietly as she sat at the counter with her ice cream.

Tomorrow was definitely going to be interesting.

Chapter Text

A smile crept on to Clarke’s face as she watched Bellamy help Madi with her breakfast, it warmed her heart the watch her daughter smile up at Bellamy with admiration as he helped her. She loved watching Madi with Bellamy, this is what she had hoped for so many years, she had hoped that Bellamy would step up and be a father to Madi and now he was here actively being her father. Clarke got up from the table slowly and took her plate to the kitchen sink.

“Mommy?” Madi’s voice broke Clarke out of her thoughts.

“Yeah, baby?” Clarke walked over to the table again and gave Madi a small smile.

“O and Birdie coming?” The little girl perked up as she asked her question.

“Yeah, they’re coming. Lincoln and Murphy too.” Clarke smiled and brushed Madi’s hair behind her ear.

“Linc and Doodoo.” Madi nodded slowly before squealing when the doorbell rang.

Clarke walked over to the front door and opened it, revealing Octavia, Lincoln, Raven and Murphy. Clarke let them in before Raven engulfed her in a hug.

“You’re huge!” Raven smirked as she pulled away from Clarke.

“Thanks, Raven.” Clarke scoffed with a smirk. “How have you been?”

“Good, we found an apartment to move into in the New Year, so we’re officially moving in together.” Raven smiled proudly as she squeezed Murphy’s hand.

“Hi!” Madi squealed as she ran to greet her aunts and uncles.

“Madi!” Raven grinned widely and scooped up the little girl, kissing her cheek slowly.

Clarke just watched with a smile as her Daughter was passed around to each of her aunts and Uncles so they could say hi. Bellamy joined them in the entryway with a smile.

“Baby, why don’t you go upstairs with Daddy and get dressed?” Clarke spoke up and glanced at Bellamy who just nodded at her slowly.

Madi took Bellamy’s hand and went upstairs with him. Clarke leads the others into the kitchen to get them coffee while they waited for Madi.

“How did you make such an adorable little girl?” Octavia spoke up as Clarke finished handing out cups of coffee.

“I had sex with your brother.” Clarke deadpanned making Murphy spit out his coffee laughing.

“Ew, Clarke.” Octavia grimaced as Clarke started to laugh along with Raven, Murphy and Lincoln.

“It’s true, that’s how I made her.” Clarke shrugged with a small laugh.

“You’re disgusting.” Octavia grimaced again which just made them laugh again.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Clarke adjusted her position in the seat at the cafe. She convinced Bellamy to take the 15-minute walk to the cafe despite how cold it was. She liked walking and Nyko had been telling her that she needed to be exercising more frequently. The waitress had taken their order and returned with their drinks fairly quickly.

“Okay, so how does this work?” Clarke asked quietly as she leant back in her seat, watching Bellamy carefully.

“He said we should start with a dialogue one to help build up communication between us,” Bellamy spoke quietly as a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “We ask each other questions, kind of like twenty questions. He said it’ll be a way for us to clear up anything between us.”

“Let’s start off slow then, I don’t feel like jumping into the deep end straight up.” She spoke quietly and let out a nervous breath.

“I’ll start.” He took a deep breath, cracking his knuckles nervously. “What made you stay that day you came over after you walked in on Lexa?”

“I guess there’s no way to do this except jumping in the deep end.” She mumbled and let out a long sigh. “I trusted you and honestly I didn’t want to be alone.”

Bellamy pursed his lips slowly and nodded slowly.

“Why did you kiss me?” Clarke’s voice was nervous as she avoided eye contact with him.

He looked down ashamed as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“I liked you, Clarke, I had a crush on you for two years before that.” His voice was quiet as he avoided her eyes. “You staring at my lips didn’t help my self-control.”

Clarke just watched him slowly waiting for his question, there was a long silence between them. Only broken when the waitress brought over their food.

“Do you know what today is?” Bellamy asked quietly.

“We conceived Madi, four years ago today,” Clarke spoke quietly, her cheeks burning red. “Seems like a lifetime ago.”

“It definitely changed both our lives.” He spoke quietly. “Yours more than mine. I haven’t been a good father and I need to do a lot to make up for that.” He ducked his head as he picked up a chip.

“You’ve been doing good Bellamy. You’ve really stepped up.” She reached out slowly and put her hand on top of his. “What are you afraid of with your new baby coming?”

“I don’t know a thing about babies and I’m terrified of messing it up.” He admitted quietly as he looked up at Clarke as she started to eat.

“It’s okay to be scared.” She spoke quietly as she watched him carefully. “I’m scared too when Madi was born I had O and your Mom there for me. This time.” She looked down and ran a hand over her stomach. “I’m alone, Roan’s not here and I’m terrified because I don’t know if I can do it or if I’ll be any good at taking care of both Madi and this baby.”

“Clarke, you’re going to be great.” His voice drew her eyes to him. “You’re amazing with Madi, you make it look easy and I know you’ll be great with the new baby as well.” He offered her a small smile.

Clarke felt herself relax as she leant back in her chair slowly, smiling at Bellamy.

- ——— ———- ———- ——— ——-

Clarke walked slowly beside Bellamy as they walked back to the house. The questions were helping Clarke and Bellamy with their communication, it was already making a difference between them. They were openly talking about their feelings with each other, although they hadn’t really spoken about the break up yet.

“Madi smacked me for calling her a mess when she got into the mud yesterday.” Bellamy chuckled with a small smile. “I called her a silly billy when she fell into the mud again and she screamed at me that she wasn’t a silly billy, she was Madi.”

“That sounds like our daughter. She does that all the time.” Clarke laughed as she shook her head slowly.

It was freezing outside and there had been some snowfall, make Bellamy and Clarke’s breaths visible. Clarke kept her hands in her jacket pockets as she walked close to Bellamy to make sure they were both on the path.

“Was She always like this?” He asked quietly and glanced at her slowly.

“She’s been independent most of her life.” She smiled slowly, thinking about Madi. “Even as a baby, she only wanted to be cuddled when she wanted to be. She’s the same now, you can barely make her do anything she doesn’t want too.”

They both laughed quietly as they continued to walk slowly. Taking a step forward, Clarke started to slip on the icy pavement. A small squeal left her mouth as she felt herself start to fall. Suddenly, strong arms grabbed her before she hit the ground.

“It’s okay, I got you.” Bellamy’s voice was quiet as he held her tightly.

“Thank you,” Clarke whispered as she watched Bellamy carefully.

He slowly started to inch towards her until his lips gently brushed against hers. For a split second Clarke was in shock before she kissed him back gently.

She wasn’t ready for this at all but she couldn’t stop herself. It felt good. Having his arms around her and his lips on hers, took her back to being sixteen on the couch in the Blake house.

She needed to stop. She needed to pull away but a part of her didn’t want to. She was melting into him.

Stop Clarke. She told herself as Bellamy deepened the kiss.

Chapter Text

Clarke slowly pulled away, breathing heavily, her eyes danced over Bellamy’s face.

“Bell...” Clarke’s voice came out, quiet and shaky.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn't have done that,” Bellamy whispered quietly, his voice husky as he made sure to adjust her stance to ensure she was steady. “We better get you inside before you get sick.”

Bellamy released Clarke from his grip and they started to walk again in uneasy silence. Uneasy mainly from the fact that Clarke was positive that neither of them knew how to act after their kiss.

They walked their separate ways to their bedrooms once inside. Clarke sank down into the bed as an uneasy, guilty feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. She felt as if she had betrayed Roan by kissing Bellamy back.

Pacing the room didn’t do anything for her, it just made her feel worse. She needed to relax and calm down before her shift at the bar.

Clarke could feel the guilt eating away at her as she sank into the hot water of the bath. She let her head sink under the water, letting a scream out under the water before emerging out of the water. Drawing her knees to her chest as much as she could considering her bump.

——— ——— ——— ——— ———

The uneasiness between Bellamy and Clarke didn’t seem to dissipate by the time Madi got back and Clarke was getting ready for work. Octavia sat in the kitchen waiting for Clarke to finish getting ready.

“You promise to be good for Daddy tonight?” Clarke smiled at Madi as she bent down to Madi’s eye level as the little girl sat at the dining table eating dinner.

The little girl nodded with her mouth full of food. Clarke pressed a kiss to the side of Madi’s head with a small smile before straightening up.

“Can you make sure you wash her hair tonight when you give her a bath?” Clarke looked at Bellamy slowly.

“Yeah.” Bellamy nodded slowly. “Can we talk later?”

“Yeah if you’re still up.” Clarke nodded slowly.

Octavia eyed Clarke as they walked out to the car.

“What the hell is going on with you and my brother?” Octavia finally spoke as they got into the car. “You guys are acting weird.”

“We kissed today,” Clarke mumbled. “I’m not ready for this.” She let out a long breath. “It’s only been three months since Roan died. I’m not even ready to start thinking about it.”

“Hey Clarkie, relax.” Octavia frowned slowly. “It was just a kiss. Just tell Bell you’re not ready.”

—— —— —— —— ——

Clarke sighed as the bar finally got a break during their rush. Clarke met Octavia’s gaze and they let out a simultaneous sigh of relief. Due to the holidays, they were busier than usual.

“You okay?” Octavia raised her eyebrow slowly.

“My feet are swollen and the baby’s on my bladder.” Clarke smiled slowly. “I’m great.” She let out a small laugh.

“Go pee,” Octavia ordered but Clarke was already on her way to the bathroom.

Coming back out of the bathroom, a heavy frown set into Clarke’s face as she saw a man walk into the bar.

“Get him the fuck out of here!” Clarke snapped as she closed the space between her and the man.

Anger, hatred and sadness filled Clarke as her eyes filled with tears. Atom crossed the room from where he was clearing tables. She never wanted to see this man but here he was, standing in front of her, standing in her bar.

“Leave!” Clarke snapped again pushing the man’s chest.

“Clarke, what’s wrong?” Atom frowned slowly.

The man frowned slowly as his eyes bared down on Clarke’s stomach.

“How dare you set foot in here again?” Clarke pushed the man’s chest.

“You’re pregnant?” The man was in shock, just staring at Clarke.

“Get him out of here!” Tyne’s voice boomed from the other side of the bar as he came downstairs from the office.

Tybe crossed the room in a second and roughly pushed the man out of the bar. Clarke followed them outside of the bar.

“Don’t fucking come back!” Tybe snapped pushing the man further into the parking lot, making him fall down to the ground.

Tybe immediately turned on his heels leading Clarke back inside with an arm around her shoulders. As soon as they were back inside Tybe removed his arm from Clarke’s shoulders.

“Who is he?” Octavia frowned when they walked back to the bar.

“He killed Roan.” Clarke wiped away her tears.

Octavia’s brow furrowed as her hand came to her mouth. A look of sadness and anger came across her face. Octavia reached out to hug her friend but Clarke shook her head, not wanting to be touched right now.

“Clarke, go home. Don’t argue, just go.” Tybe ordered.

Clarke nodded slowly wincing slightly as the pain in her stomach. She shook her head when she watched the panic rise in both Tybe and Octavia.

“I’m fine. It’s just Braxton-Hicks.” Clarke spoke quietly.

“I’ll drop Octavia at her mom’s and I’ll take over for you,” Tybe spoke firmly watching Clarke carefully.

“I’m going.” Clarke nodded slowly and started to grab her things.

—— —— —— —— —— ——

Clarke found Bellamy on the couch watching tv when she got home. It was almost 10:30 but she felt dead on her feet. Today had been a lot for her, the kiss, her guilt and seeing the man who ripped Roan away from her drained all of her energy. Bellamy looked up at her slowly and patted the space on the couch next to him.

“About today...” Clarke sat down next to Bellamy slowly with a sigh.

“I should’ve done it. I was caught up in the memories and I should’ve put you in that position.” Bellamy spoke in a drawn-out nervous voice. “You only lost Roan three months ago. I don’t want this to affect us or Madi.” He met her eyes slowly, his nerves obvious. “Coparents?”

“Friends, Bell.” She offered him a small smile. “We had a moment, we both got caught up in the memories. I’m not going to let that change the progress we’ve made.”

“Thank you.” He smiled slowly. “You’re home early.”

“Unwanted guest at the bar.” She mumbled playing with the hem of her shirt.

“Luna?” A heavy frowned settled onto his face.

“The man who killed Roan.” She choked out as her tears began to flow. “He’s out on bail until the trial in March.”

“Clarke, I’m so sorry.” He spoke quietly and carefully put a hand on her back.

Clark’s fell into his arms and let herself cry.

—— —— —— —— —— ——

The next morning, Clarke woke up more uncomfortable than she had before. Her back hurt and she felt minor cramps. The only thing that kept her from completely panicking was the fact that she was already going to the doctor’s after breakfast and the baby was being active.

“I’ll drop Madi at my Mom’s and I’ll take you to your appointment,” Bellamy spoke up as he watched Clarke shift uncomfortably at breakfast. “Don’t argue, I’m taking you.”

“Thank you.” Clarke sighed gratefully.

Clarke stayed quiet the whole ride, she was too nervous. An anxious feeling was firmly settled on her chest making it feel like she could barely breathe.

“Clarke?” Bellamy’s voice drew her attention as he parked the car. “Nervous?”

“Every appointment.” She admitted, looking down at her stomach.

Bellamy got out and walked around to open her door. Clarke took his hand and got out slowly.

“Hey, Bell?” She spoke up quietly as they sat in the waiting room in the maternity ward of the hospital.

“Want me to come in with you?” It was almost like he was reading her mind.

She nodded quickly as she bit her lip. He watched her carefully before helping her up when her name was called.

“Clarke, how are you today?” Nyko smiled as they walked into his office.

“Uncomfortable, I’ve been had quite a few bad Braxton-Hicks since last night,” Clarke spoke quietly as she sat down slowly.

“Alright, I’m going to do a few checks, make sure everything is okay with the baby.” Nyko nodded slowly before finally looking at Bellamy. “Hi, I’m Nyko, Clarke’s doctor.”

“Bellamy, Clarke’s friend.” Bellamy shook Nyko’s hand before sitting in a chair out of the way, letting Nyko work.

Clarke could feel her anxiety build up as Nyko checked her blood pressure, weight and did a quick ultrasound.

“Clarke,” Nyko spoke up as he settled down at his desk. “Your blood pressure is very high, I’m rather concerned. I want you on bed rest until your blood pressure comes down to a manageable level. This is serious, Clarke. You could lose the baby.”

All Clarke could do was nod with tears in her eyes. She couldn’t lose the baby, she was going to do everything in her power to make sure that didn’t happen.

Chapter Text

“Get back to bed,” Bellamy ordered firmly on thanksgiving when Clarke snuck down into the kitchen. “Clarke.”

“I’m bored.” Clarke huffed as Bellamy started to guide her upstairs. “Can you convince Tybe to bring me the books from the bar? I want to feel productive.”

It had already been two days since she was put on bed rest but she was going completely stir crazy staying in bed constantly.

“I know but Nyko made it clear that you need to stay in bed until your blood pressure goes down.” He spoke quietly. “Tybe won’t bring them.” He shook his head as he watched Her crawl back into bed.

Along huff left Clarke’s mouth, she knew that it was important for her to rest but she never realised how useless it would make her feel. She felt like a burden, Bellamy had reorganised his exams with his professors, so he only had to be gone a week. Madi was going to be staying with Aurora. Aurora and Tybe were going to take turns coming to see Clarke while Bellamy was gone.

“What am I supposed to do until the baby is born?” She sighed raking her hand through her hair frustrated.

Bellamy walked over to the dresser and grabbed Clarke’s sketchbook with a few pencils. He sat on the edge of the bed and passed them to her.

“Plan the baby’s room, sketch up the plans exactly how you want it, order the things you need and I’ll set it up exactly how you want it.” He offered her a small smile.

“How did you get so smart?” She grumbled which caused Bellamy to chuckle quietly. “When are you going to get the stuff for Minerva?” She raised her eyebrow at her slowly.

“I hadn’t even thought about that.” He admitted looking down slightly ashamed. “I don’t even know what to get, to be honest.”

“I still have the majority of my things from when Madi was baby. You can have it all, it’s mostly pink stuff.” She watched his face light up with a smile as he looked at her. “I can help you figure out what else you need to get.”

“Thanks, Clarke.” His smile brightened a little as he said her name. “When I get back I really need to find a place. She’s going to be here before I know it.”

“What if you just live here? There’s plenty of room here, you get to be close to Madi and you’re going to need help when Minerva gets here.” Her voice dropped in volume significantly as she watched him, fiddling with the edge of the blanket. “You don’t have to, I just thought it would be good.”

Honestly, Clarke didn’t want to go back to having an empty house, the last few days with Bellamy in the house made her feel comfortable. It made her feel less alone but asking Bellamy if he wanted to live in the house made her anxious.

“Yeah, that’ll be a lot easier.” He gave her a bright smile and she could feel herself relax. “O will be here soon, so you won’t have to be bored by my company.” He chuckled as he got up slowly.

“Hey, Bell?” She spoke up again and watched him turn around slowly. “Thanks for helping me out with everything.”

“I’m happy to do it.” He smiled slowly before walking out.

Clarke let her mind flood with all the thoughts she had been holding back. Bellamy was moving in permanently, she wasn’t going to be alone again and he was actually taking care of her. It felt weird having Bellamy around, taking care of her while she was pregnant, mainly for the fact that he wasn’t there when she pregnant with Madi. She could feel her heart speed up a little bit when she was around him, she had tried to push it away but it kept creeping up the more he took care of her.

Clarke leant back against the pillows as she felt the guilty feeling start to wash over her again. She shouldn’t have these feelings for Bellamy, she was betraying Roan, he had only been gone for three months. She felt herself begin to curl up, squeezing her eyes shut. Pushing away the feelings she was developing for Bellamy. She couldn’t have them.

————- ————-

“Sup loser!” Octavia’s voice woke Clarke up as she fell back on the bed. “Warden Bellamy told me I need to keep you in bed and entertain you.”

“Hey O.” Clarke sighed and sat up, rubbing her eyes slowly.

“You bored shitless?” Octavia smirked as she settled down on the bed next to Clarke.

“Trying not to be” A heavy sigh left Clarke’s mouth as she pushed back the blankets. “It’s only been two days and Nyko thinks I’m going to be on a form of bed rest until I give birth.” Clarke started to get up off the bed.

“Uh-uh no ma’am, Warden Bellamy made it clear that you’re not allowed to get out of bed.” Octavia jumped up to block her with so much speed that Clarke was sure her head was going to spin.

“Nyko said I can get up and walk around for a few minutes every few hours. I need to stretch, O.” Clarke stepped around her friend, stretching her arms up in the air before walking over to the window.

Clarke sat on the bay window seat and looked out the window with a sigh as Octavia next to her quietly.

“Are you okay?” Octavia spoke quietly.

Clarke had noticed that a lot of the time people were unsure around her. Unsure what to say, unsure what to do and unsure what would upset her.

“It feels so weird not having Roan here,” Clarke mumbled running a hand over her stomach. “I hope he looks like Roan.” Her voice was quiet as she looked back out the window.

“I really can’t picture Roan as a baby,” Octavia admitted. “Every time I try all I see is a baby with a pissed off, scary look on its face.” Octavia’s comment earned a small laugh from Clarke.

“Roan was an unnaturally good looking baby.” Clarke smiled as the memory of Roan showing her the picture of himself as a baby before tucking it away it his nightstand drawer. “I have a picture of him as a baby.”

Roan’s nightstand draw was the only draw of his that she hadn’t touched since he passed away. She had rifled through all the others to find things that would comfort her but she never touched that draw. Thinking about it she didn’t know why she hadn’t touched it. Maybe it was the fear deep inside her that the memories she’d find in there may be too painful.

Clarke got up slowly and walked over to Roan’s nightstand. Opening it slowly, her eyes danced over the contents. Loose condoms, one of his watches, the necklace she had given him their first Christmas together, a few of his rings and photos strewn throughout the draw. Roan was the type of person that liked to have physical copies of photos, he would swap them out of his wallet depending on which one he wanted at the time. Picking a pile she started to go through them, hoping to find the one she was after. There were a few of Madi as she grew up and a few of herself, some more intimate than others. There were a few of her laying in bed either in the house or in Clarke’s old apartment with the sheets just covering her. The photos weren’t provocative but they were intimate in the fact that few people had seen this Clarke, this was something private. Shuffling through a few more photos she found the one she was looking for.

“Here O.” Clarke held the photo out to Octavia, who eagerly took the photo off her.

That’s when Clarke noticed the next item in the pile in her hand. It wasn’t a photo but an envelope with her name written on the front in Roan’s handwriting. Clarke’s eyes fixated on the envelope and she examined the elegant flow of the letters that spelt out her name, she had always loved how old-fashioned and formal his handwriting was. It didn’t matter what he was writing it was always formal and elegant.

“Damn, he was a good looking baby,” Octavia mumbled before realising that her friend was frozen staring at the envelope in her hands. “Clarke? What is it?”

“I don’t know, it was just with the photos.” Clarke’s voice was just audible enough that Octavia could hear her. “It’s Roan’s handwriting.”

“Are you going to open it?” Octavia’s voice had a careful tone as she watched Clarke carefully.

“No.” Clarke quickly put the envelope back in the draw with the photos and closed it, slamming it almost.

“Clarke?” Octavia asked quietly. “Are you okay?”

“I’m so sick of people tiptoeing around me and then asking me if I’m okay.” Clarke snapped walking back to the window. “Everyone acts as if I’m glass like I’m going to shatter if they bring up Roan or the accident. If they’re not asking me if I’m okay, they’re giving me a pity looks.” Clarke groaned frustrated as tears pricked her eyes.

“I won’t do that then,” Octavia spoke firmly and sat down on the bay window seat with Clarke again.

“I just want someone to tell me the truth and not be petrified about hurting my feelings.” Clarke sighed quietly.

“You want the truth?” Octavia raised her eyebrow at Clarke, who just nodded. “You look like shit,” Octavia smirked slowly.

“O!” Clarke laughed quietly wiping away her tears slowly.

“I’m serious, Clarke. Your pyjamas are gross and I could knit a baby blanket with the hair on your legs.” One of Octavia’s signature laughs left her lips.

“It’s hard okay, the baby’s in the way.” Clarke defended with a laugh. “Plus its winter and nobody is going to see me naked.”

“I’ll sneak you out and get you waxed.” Octavia laughed, shaking her head.

“I’m going to get someone to come here, there’s a company who’ll send someone who can wax, do my hair and nails.” Clarke smiled slowly relaxing.

“I’m sorry, Clarke.” Octavia sighed quietly. “I didn’t mean to tiptoe around you.”

“It’s okay.” Clarke sighed quietly. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

“You barely even snapped, besides you’re going crazy in here.” Octavia hugged Clarke tightly. “Get in the shower and get dressed. I’m going to get Warden Bellamy to let you downstairs to hang out with everyone.”

 ----------- ------------ ----------- ------------

Octavia was able to convince Bellamy to let Clarke come downstairs to sit in the lounge room with them once they started their Thanksgiving dinner. The dinner had to be moved to Clarke’s house to accommodate the fact that Clarke was on bedrest.

They had set up some collapsible tables in the lounge room for the meal. Bellamy hovered over Clarke as she moved from the lounge to her seat at the table. This garnered a look from Octavia and a raised eyebrow from Aurora. Clarke sat between Tybe and Octavia while Bellamy was sitting opposite her between Madi and Raven. Murphy and Aurora were sitting at each end of the table.

“How are you feeling?” Tybe asked quietly as they started to eat.

“I’m good, just a little stir crazy,” Clarke spoke quietly knowing that this was what Tybe was afraid of.

Clarke understood that Tybe was worried about her losing the baby. Both of them knew that it would be like losing Roan all over again. This was their last living connection of Roan, the baby was his flesh and blood.

“How did the band go last night?” Clarke had been worried about how the event went considering they would’ve been short staffed.

“It went fine. I don’t want you to worry about the bar, I’ve got it all under control.” Tybe had been quick to shut down every conversation about the bar with Clarke in the last few days.

“I know but I feel kind of useless just sitting here at home.” She sighed quietly.

“Mommy?” Madi spoke up, drawing Clarke’s full attention.

“Yeah, baby?” Clarke gave Madi a small smile.

“Baby brother okay?” Concern filled the little girl’s voice, Clarke was always concerned with how perceptive Madi was, she worried that she saw and understood things well beyond her age.

“Yeah, baby brother is okay.” Clarke gave her a smile but the little girl still looked worried. “Promise.”

Madi seemed to relax slightly but visibly relaxed more when Bellamy urged her to eat her dinner.

The rest of the Thanksgiving dinner was quiet and relaxed. After dinner, Bellamy promptly ordered Clarke back upstairs to bed. Clarke wasn’t going to argue, she was worn out and felt herself melt into the bed as soon as she got into bed.

Her mind immediately went to the envelope, she wanted to open it but couldn’t bring herself to actually do it. A part of her thought that the contents of the envelope could just be a birthday card. Another thought that it could be a letter or a list. She had no idea when he wrote it but the thoughts kept flooding her mind until sleep finally took over.

Chapter Text

Clarke could’ve jumped for joy when Nyko told her that she could come off bed rest just after New Years, she still had to take it easy and not over exert herself. It seemed to put Bellamy at ease considering he was starting to take classes as a substitute teacher. Bellamy and Clarke had fallen into an easy routine together, they’d have breakfast together every morning, they’d drop Madi off at daycare, at night after dinner they’d sit up either watching tv or finishing up the plans for the nursery.

The decision to put Madi into daycare was one that made Clarke anxious, dropping Madi off there wasn’t like dropping her off at Aurora’s. Bellamy seemed to put her at ease with the help from Aurora. Clarke knew that it important for Madi to have more social interaction with kids her own age. Madi loved going to daycare and making new friends, it was all she talked about when she’d got home.

Clarke stood in the nursery folding the freshly washed clothes they had for both of the babies. She put them in the draws and ran a hand over her bump slowly.

“One month to go.” Bellamy smiled as he pushed off the door frame where he had been leaning as he watched her.

“I called this hell month when I was pregnant with Madi.” Clarke let out a small laugh as she leant against the chest of draws.

“Why?” He smiled and sat down on the rocking chair they had in the corner.

“I barely slept, heartburn, couldn’t see my feet and had Brixton hicks like crazy.” She shook her head and looked down slowly.

“It’ll be worth it.” He smiled getting up again slowly.

“Yeah, it will be.” She smiled looking at her bump. “It’s going to be weird when you go.” She mumbled quietly.

Bellamy was leaving in two days so he could be there in case Echo went into labour early. Deep down, Clarke was worried that him going back to being around Echo again would change all of the progress they had made.

Bellamy broke Clarke out of her thoughts by giving her a hug, somehow lately he always knew how she was feeling no matter how much she tried to hide it. Clarke could feel the light kiss he pressed to the top of her head, it was so light Clarke could tell that he thought she wouldn’t feel it. He’d do small affectionate things every so often that he thought she wouldn’t notice but she almost always notices. It didn’t bother her mostly for the fact that it didn’t seem to change anything between them.

“Let’s hope I don’t go into labour while you’re gone.” She mumbled as he pulled away slowly.

Honestly, Clarke was terrified to go into labour while he was gone, mainly because she’d be alone because Aurora was going with him to support him.

“You won’t.” He assured with a smile. “Come on, I’ll make us some lunch.”

——— ——— ———

Later that night, Clarke settled down on the couch next to Bellamy with a slight wince which immediately set off Bellamy’s senses because he immediately tensed up as he watched her carefully.

“I’m fine b-.” Clarke couldn’t get the rest of the sentence out, she grabbed his hand tightly as she groaned loudly.

“Clarke?” Bellamy’s voice was filled with panic as his eyes danced over her.

After some time, Clarke let go of his hand and leant back on the couch panting slightly. Bellamy’s eyes never left her as he watched her carefully still filled with panic.

“Clarke?” His voice was surprisingly quiet.

“Contraction, a real one.” Her voiced huffed out in a sigh.

“We need to get you to the hospital.” He sprung up from the couch faster than she thought someone could move.

“Not yet.” She shook her head slowly. “They’ll just send me home, it’s too early.”

“But you’re in labour.” He frowned deeply keeping his eyes on her.

“I can be like this for days before I actually go into active labour. I was having contractions for three days before I went to the hospital with Madi.” She settled back down into the couch, finding the most comfortable position for her. “I have a checkup with Nyko tomorrow anyway, he can check.”

He sat down slowly still eyeing her wearily.

“I’m fine, Bell.” She reassured with a small smile to comfort him. “What documentary are we watching tonight?” She raised her eyebrows at him slowly.

“What makes you think we’re watching a documentary?” He challenged with a smirked.

“We always watch documentaries when it’s your turn to choose.” She let out a small laugh.

“It’s about World War II.” He sounded defeated as he put the tv on.

---- ---- ---- ---- --- --- ---- ---

Two days passed and Clarke was pretty much the same, having a contraction every few hours but not really making progress to giving birth. Nyko said that she was most likely going to be like this for a few weeks. Bellamy and Aurora were leaving to go to Echo. Madi was going with Bellamy and Aurora so she could visit Octavia and Lincoln while also making sure Clarke wouldn’t have to stress if she did go into labour while they were away.

Clarke sighed as she walked into Nyko’s office after Bellamy left earlier that day, she was having more frequent mild contractions and just wanted to get checked out. Nyko started to check Clarke and pursed his lips as he took his gloves off.

“Alright, we need to get you checked in. You’re having this baby fast.” Nyko spoke quietly as he buzzed his nurse in.

“What?” Clarke sat up frowning slowly.

“You’re 9 centimetres dilated, you’re having this baby today,” Nyko explained before ordering his nurse to get a wheelchair. “Do you have your hospital bag with you?”

“Yeah, in the car, I’ll go get it.” Clarke stood up slowly.

“No.” Nyko shook his head slowly. “Is there someone you can call to get it for you?”

Clarke nodded slowly and dialled Tybe’s number as the nurse helped her into the wheelchair.

“Clarke? What’s wrong?” Tybe’s voice had a sense of panic in it immediately.

“Can you come to the hospital? I’m in labour, I need you to get the spare keys to my car and get my hospital bag.” Clarke explained quietly.

“Alright, I’ll call Aurora on the way.” His voice had calmed and had a focused tone.

“No, she’s already left with Bellamy.” Clarke pleaded as she was wheeled down to the maternity ward.

“Okay, I’m coming.” Tybe hung up slowly.

----- ---- ----- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----

Unfortunately for Clarke, it was too late for her to have an epidural but they did give her gas to help with the pain. Nyko warned her that this was going to a lot faster than her labour with Madi. She kind of expected it considering she had become mostly dilated with her barely even noticing except for her mild contractions. Tybe visited her quickly before heading to the waiting room while she was taken straight to the delivery room.

The pains came hard and fast, it didn’t take long for Nyko to order her to push. Clarke honestly felt like her body was on

fire, the pain was almost unbearable. She felt like it wasn’t going to end and slowly she felt her energy drain out of her. It was taking every ounce of her to keep going and not to give up.

Clarke blocked out everything in the room and focused her energy on her breathing. Her focus came back to the room when the sound of a baby crying drew her attention.

“Meet your son.” Nyko smiled, laying the baby on her chest.

“You look just like your daddy.” Clarke smiled slowly and kissed the top of the baby’s head.

----- ----- ----- ---- ---- ---

Clarke honestly couldn’t keep her eyes off the small baby as she laid in the hospital bed with her son in her arms. Tybe spent a lot of time holding the little boy, even shedding a few tears over how much he looks like Roan. He left after an hour to let Clarke rest.

Clarke had decided to surprise everyone by calling them each. She decided to call Octavia first knowing that Madi would be with her.

“Missing Madi already?” Octavia giggled as she answered the phone.

“A little.” Clarke let out a quiet chuckle as the baby in her arms started to cry softly.

“No fucking way.” Octavia squealed that just made Clarke laugh. “I’m face timing you, I need to see him.”

Clarke answered the FaceTime call and showed the baby as he yawned.

“Clarke, he’s beautiful.” Octavia awed over the baby excited.

“Meet your nephew, Theo Roan Azgeda.” Clarke smiled as she kept the camera on the baby. “I still need to call the others.”

“Mom wasn’t with you?” Octavia frowned slowly.

“She had already left with Bellamy and it kind of happened really fast,” Clarke explained with a small yawn.

“Lincoln and I will drive over with Madi in the morning, she’s already crashed out.” Octavia gave Clarke another excited smile. “Love you Clarkie.”

“Love you too O.” Clarke hung up slowly.

Aurora and Bellamy were the last ones she was going to call, she was going to send out a text to everyone else because honestly she was exhausted and just wanted to sleep.

“Hey, Clarke,” Aurora answered, Clarke could tell that it was through the loudspeaker in her car because of the distance of her voice and the crackling in the background.

“Hey, Clarke.” Bellamy’s voice was deep and gravely.

Good, they’re both together, Clarke thought with a small smile.

“We’re just about to meet Echo at the hospital, her doctor is admitting her now,” Aurora explained slowly.

“Is everything okay?” The tone of worry became obvious in Bellamy’s voice.

“Everything is great,” Clarke spoke quietly as she watched the baby slowly. “I had a visitor today.”

“That’s nice. We’re pulling into the hospital now.” Aurora’s voice was rushed and kind of stressed.

Clarke understood what Aurora was feeling, she wanted to be there to support her son but she honestly couldn’t stand Echo.

“Good luck Bell,” Clarke spoke quietly.

“Thanks, Clarke.” Bellamy’s voice gave away how excited he was.

Theo began to fuss again, trying to tell Clarke he was hungry and she soothed him before starting to feed him while putting the phone on loudspeaker.

“Clarke?” Aurora spoke up confused.

“Is that the tv?” Bellamy spoke up confused.

“I had the baby.” Clarke smiled down at Theo, stroking his hair as he easily started to feed.

“What? When?” Aurora was still confused about it all.

“A few hours ago, I went in for my check up and Nyko had to admit me immediately and he was born about an hour after that,” Clarke explained, keeping her voice soft, not wanting to disturb Theo while he fed.

“You were alone,” Bellamy commented, the guilt obvious in his voice.

“Tybe came and waited in the waiting room but honestly it happened so fast,” Clarke reassured quietly.

“I’m sorry.” The tone of his voice dropped, still dripping with guilt.

“Don’t be, you’re about to go meet your daughter,” Clarke reassured again, she didn’t want him to feel guilty because honestly even though she was alone, she was fine and she got through it. “I’ll send you guys a picture of him.”

“What’s his name?” Aurora spoke quickly.

“Theo Roan Azgeda.” Clarke smiled slowly as she spoke. “Keep me updated, okay?”

“Will do,” Bellamy spoke quickly.

“I’ll see you soon,” Aurora spoke quietly before hanging up quickly.

Clarke sent out a quick text with a picture of Theo.

Clarke: Theo Roan Azgeda, 5:45 pm January 30th. 4lbs 7oz. He’s completely healthy

Raven: Omg! Clarkie, he’s perfect!

Jasper: Shotgun being his favourite uncle

Murphy: I don’t think you can shotgun that…

Monty: Jasper smh… shotgun being godfather!

Maybe putting them all in a group chat wasn’t the best idea, Clarke thought as she started to ignore the argument between Jasper and Monty had started. Her phone went off again while she was still feeding Theo.

Bellamy: He’s beautiful, Clarke.

Clarke: Thank you. How’s everything going?

Bellamy: Slow, it keeps changing. They don’t want to induce her, so it may be a while yet. On your end?

Clarke: Quiet, just feeding him before his tests. They’re going to see how he goes with everything before they tell me when I can take him home

Bellamy: I thought you said he was healthy

Clarke: He is, they’re just making sure everything is okay considering he was born four weeks early

Bellamy: You should get some sleep

Clarke: I will when he’s done feeding

Bellamy: I’ll check up you later, message me if you need anything

Clarke: Thank you but you need to focus on your daughter.

Clarke put her phone to the side and burped Theo with a yawn before putting him in his crib.

Chapter Text

Clarke woke up to the sound of her phone going off. A loud groan left her lips as she rolled over slowly to grab her phone. The light of her phone seemed to hurt her eyes in the dim room. By the look of the time, she needed to feed Theo soon anyway. She answered the call before she even read the caller i.d.

“Hello?” Her voice was heavy and thick with sleep.

“Shit, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Bellamy’s voice had a more prominent gravely tone to it, a telltale sign that he had slept little or not at all.

“Bell? No, it’s okay. I need to feed Theo anyway.” She sat up slowly rubbing her head. “Is everything okay?”

“She’s here.” The tone in his voice picked up causing Clarke to smile slowly. “She was born a couple hours ago.”

“Congratulations Bell.” She got out of the bed but pain started to radiate through her body. “Shit.” She muttered before sitting back on the bed.

“You okay?” The concern picked up in his voice immediately.

“Yeah, just stood up too quickly. Are you with her?” She changed the subject as she settled back against the pillows.

“She’s just getting some tests done and I wanted to call you.” A nervous tone came to his voice that made her frown.

“What’s wrong?” Worry filled her as a long silence hung between them. “Bell?”

“There’s something wrong with her breathing.” His voice cracked as he spoke. “I don’t know what it the exact word for it is but the doctor said TTN for short.” His voice gave it away that he was on the verge of breaking down.

“It’ll be okay Bell.” She reassured quietly as she put the phone on loudspeaker, so she could get Theo out of his crib.

“How do you know?” He wasn’t accusing, he wanted more reassurance and Clarke could tell.

“Madi had a really mild case when she was born.” She spoke quietly and started to feed Theo, stroking his hair gently. “It cleared up within two days. How bad did they say it was?”

“Mild, I’m just freaking out. Mom already went back to the hotel by the time the doctors told me.” His voice relaxed.

“You should try and sleep when she sleeps, you’ll be up every few hours.” She mumbled with a yawn. “What time is it again?” For the life of her, she couldn’t remember the time despite the fact that she just saw it.

“Just on six am.” He mumbled through a yawn. “Did you get much sleep?”

“A little in between feeds.” She smiled down at Theo again. “I’m a walking, talking food source at the moment.”

The comment earned her a hearty chuckle from Bellamy.

“I’m going to tell O to take Madi to come and see you and the baby today instead.” She spoke softly stroking Theo’s head, completely in love with the baby in her arms. “I’ll see you guys when you come home with Minerva.”

“Clarke, no, Madi and O can come to see you today.” He protested with a sigh.

“Let Madi meet her baby sister and then when you three come home she can meet baby brother at home.” She retorted quickly. “Besides I’d rather not have her being shipped back and forth, delaying her meeting Theo a few days is not a big deal.”

“If you say so...” his voice trailed off not completely convinced. “They’re really here, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, they are.” A smile played on her lips as she looked down at Theo.

“I need to feed her when she gets back.” He mumbled.

“Ask the nurse and she’ll show you.” She yawned again slowly. “Don’t be afraid to ask them, they’re more than happy to help.”

“They’re bringing her back, I’ll call you later with Madi.” His voice picked up.

“I’ll talk to you later, call me if you need me.” She managed to get in before he hung up.

—— —— —— —— ——

Having the first few days alone with Theo was great, Clarke felt like she really got to bond with him over that time. Tybe would come in for his daily visit but most of the time it was just her and Theo. Everyone had made the decision to come back with Bellamy when he brought Minerva home, which Clarke wasn’t mad about. After six days in the hospital, Clarke and Theo were going home and Bellamy was bringing Minerva home as well.

In the late afternoon, Tybe picked Clarke and Theo up from the hospital. He had made the decision that a car seat for Theo was going to become a permanent feature in his car so that he could pick up Theo whenever he needed to and so that he was always prepared. Clarke wasn’t ready for the fanfare that waited for her when she arrived. Everyone was there and by everyone, she meant everyone. Madi, Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, Jasper, Monty, Raven, Murphy and Aurora all stood on the front porch waiting for them. Clarke was surprised that Monty’s girlfriend Harper was even waiting there. The mother in her wanted to scold them for waiting outside in the snow.

Bellamy immediately went to Clarke’s door, opening it and started to help her out despite her protests. Octavia unsurprisingly went for Theo in the back.

“O, fawn over him inside, it’s far too cold for him out here.” Clarke scolded as Octavia cooed at the baby in the cold January air.

“Okay, okay.” Octavia sighed, carrying the baby inside.

Walking up the front stairs hurt and despite how hard Clarke tried to hide it, she openly winced. Bellamy’s arm immediately went around her waist to help her.

“You okay?” His voice was low and full of concern as his eyes danced over her.

“Yeah, just sore.” Clarke relaxed as they walked inside the warm air of the house.

Clarke didn’t even have to ask, Bellamy immediately helped her to the lounge before stepping back letting his mother see her.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” Aurora whispered as she hugged Clarke gently.

“It’s okay, Bellamy needed you with him,” Clarke assured quietly before watching Aurora’s eyes land on Theo. “Go meet him.”

Clarke didn’t have to say it a second time, Aurora made a beeline for Theo and Octavia. Clarke didn’t mind everyone around Theo and Minerva, who was in Raven’s arms. A smile crept onto her face as she saw Tybe watching over Theo protectively.

Clarke grabbed her phone from her bag as it started to ring loudly. Seeing Luna’s lawyer’s name flash on her screen made her groan and force herself up before Bellamy snatched the phone out of her hand.

“Hey!” Clarke shot a look at Bellamy but he just shrugged and hit the ignore button.

“You got the DNA test, she hasn’t got a leg to stand on,” Bellamy spoke quickly. “They should be contacting your lawyer, not you.”

She nodded slowly, knowing he was right and sat back down on the lounge. He took the spot on the lounge next to her.

“How are you really?” He gave her a look that made her know he meant business.

“I forgot that it hurts for so long after it.” She admitted with a sigh.

“Want me to tell everyone to come back tomorrow?” He raised an eyebrow but she shook her head.

“It’s fine, honestly.” She offered him a small smile. “How are you really?” She watched him as a silence began to hang over them.

“A little overwhelmed.” He finally admitted with a sigh.

“That’s okay to be overwhelmed, I’d be surprised if you weren’t.” She spoke quietly before she heard one of the babies start to fuss.

Instinctively, Bellamy jumped up and make his way over to Raven, scooping the small pink bundle out of her arms, rocking her gently.

“Want to meet her?” Bellamy spoke up as he walked over to her slowly.

Clarke nodded slowly with a small smile and Bellamy placed the small bundle in her arms. Looking down at the small little girl in her arms, Clarke was amazed about how much the little girl looked like Madi. Which was surprising considering Madi was a Blake through and through.

“She looks just like Madi.” Clarke smiled at Bellamy as he sat next to her.

“That’s what I thought when I saw her.” He smiled rubbing the back of his neck before looking at his watch. “I should probably make up a bottle for her, she’ll be wanting it soon.”

“I’ll feed her.” Octavia popped up in front of them.

“If you want.” He shrugged slowly. “I’ll go make it.” He got up slowly while Clarke relinquished Minerva to Octavia’s outstretched arms.

“I’ll be back,” Clarke mumbled not really to anyone because Octavia had already migrated to the other side of the room.

Clarke walked into to kitchen slowly as soon as Bellamy saw her he immediately stopped what he was doing to help her to a seat but she swatted away his hands.

“I’m fine.” She looked at him slowly and watched him slowly smile.

“Sorry, I’m hovering.” He admitted before going back to making Minerva’s bottle.

“Echo’s not pumping?” She raised her eyebrow slowly.

“No, but the doctor said that she’ll be fine on formula until I can get some milk from the milk bank.” He sighed and dumped the scoops of formula into the bottle.

“I can pump and you can give it to her.” She offered but she could tell quickly that he was hesitant. “I’m overproducing, the nurse said I need to pump anyway to make it easier for Theo to feed.”

“Are you sure?” He frowned worriedly as he watched her carefully.

“It’ll help her build up her immune system besides it’ll give us more room in the freezer.” She offered him a small smile.

“Thank you.” He gave her a tight hug. “Want me to help you upstairs?” He asked quietly as he pulled away.

“I’ve got the pump in my bag, I’ll just sit in here.” She smiled and walked back to the entryway where her bag was and retrieved the small bag with her breast pump.

By the time she returned to the kitchen Bellamy had set up a plate with a couple of cookies and a glass of water waiting for her at the counter.

“Thanks, Bell.” Clarke smiled slowly and waited for him to go back into the lounge room so she could set it up for her to pump.

“Oh yeah... right.” He laughed awkwardly and walked out of the kitchen.

By the time Clarke was finished and walking back into the lounge room, Minerva was crying a hungry cry. Clarke handed the bottle to Octavia, who was trying in vain to settle the baby girl. Clarke settled down on the couch, taking advantage of the time before Theo will need to be fed. Madi finally tore her self away from Theo’s side to come to sit next to Clarke, curling into her side.

“Hey, baby.” Clarke smiled, kissing the top of Madi’s head.

“Baby brother and sister.” Madi grinned as she looked up at Clarke. “Mini and Eo.”

“Yeah Mini and Eo.” Clarke let out a small laugh at her daughter’s nicknames for her brother and sister.

“Missed you, Mommy,” Madi mumbled as she cuddled into Clarke’s side more.

“I missed you too baby.” Clarke snaked her arms around Madi, pulling her close.

After a few minutes, Madi started to doze off and Clarke just kept her close.

“She’s feeding better today,” Aurora commented as she watched Octavia feed Minerva. “Bell, is it still the formula?”

“No, it’s Clarke’s...” Bellamy trailed off before looking at Clarke with a small smile.

“Thank you.” Aurora smiled at Clarke, who just nodded slowly.

——- ——- —— —— ——

Clarke woke up to the sound of a baby crying in the early hours of the morning. Yawning, she pulled herself out of bed and checked Theo but he was sound asleep. She crept down the hall to Bellamy’s room and found Minerva crying in her bassinet but Bellamy was still sound asleep. She scooped Minerva up and carried her out of the room rocking her gently.

With ease, Clarke went downstairs and heated up the milk she pumped earlier in the bottle warmer. She made her way back to her room and sat up in bed feeding the baby girl. The little girl fell asleep quickly after being fed and Clarke put her in the crib with Theo before crawling back into bed.

By the time she woke up again the sun was beginning to rise. Clarke smiled down at Theo as he fed, the early morning sun was breaking through the window and shining onto the bed. Clarke yawned slowly as Minerva started to fuss before she could even move Theo so she could get her, Bellamy walked into the bedroom. He froze when he saw Clarke was feeding Theo and turned on his heels.

"Shit sorry Clarke." He mumbled tiredly.

"It's okay, I don't mind." She watched him stay in place. "Bell, seriously, it's okay. It's not like you haven't seen them before." She watched him slowly turn around again. "Come feed Mini." she held out a bottle of freshly pumped milk to him.

"Sorry, I can't believe I slept through her crying last night." He sighed in a defeated voice.

"It's okay, Theo was almost due for a feed anyway." She watched him pick up Minerva and take the bottle to start feeding her. "Teamwork makes the dream work."

Chapter Text

Settling into a new routine over the months with Bellamy came naturally to the both of them. Bellamy would take Madi to daycare on his way to work and Clarke would stay home with both babies. Clarke would only go into the bar once a week for a couple of meetings and some paperwork. At night after the kids had gone to bed they would watch tv and talk. Clarke finally felt herself opening up more to him in more than just a friendly way. He looked out for her, helped with the kids and he always knew how to make her feel better. Clarke felt like she could really rely on him.

Everything started to change at the end of April. It started on the weekends after the kids had gone to bed, Bellamy would leave to go out. This wasn't a problem. He had every right to go out but it made Clarke feel more isolated being left alone after the kids had gone to bed. After a few weeks, Bellamy was coming home late on weeknights and asking Clarke to pick up Madi from daycare. To make up for it, he'd get up early to let her have a few hours sleep in. They changed the rules when Bellamy moved in permanently. He could have someone stay over if he was seriously dating them, not just a hookup.

Clarke sat at the kitchen table with Madi early on a Saturday morning in the middle of May. Theo was sleeping in his bouncer while Clarke gave Minerva a bottle. Bellamy was taking the kids today. Which meant, Clarke could focus on getting ready for the big event they were having at the bar that night. Clarke started to burp Minerva as a yawn escaped her lips. Bellamy came into the kitchen casually with a woman with long brown hair swept to the side in a plait.

“Gina, this is my daughter Madi.” Bellamy smiled at the woman, Gina, while running his hand through Madi’s hair. “Madi.” He crouched down to Madi’s eye level. “This is my girlfriend, Gina. Can you say hi?” His smile grew as he watched his daughter carefully.

“Hi Madi, it’s very nice to meet you.” Gina smiled, taking Bellamy’s place at Madi’s eye level.

“Hi,” Madi spoke shyly as she gave Gina a weary look before looking at Clarke, who gave her a reassuring nod.

Bellamy scooped up Minerva from Clarke’s arms and kissed the baby’s head. Gina stood up straight again when Madi went back to eating her breakfast.

“This is my other daughter Mini.” Bellamy grinned showing off the baby in his arms.

“She’s precious, Bell.” Gina smiled as she cooed over Minerva.

Clarke felt a little awkward. She sitting there during this moment, she felt like she was intruding on a private moment. Gina and Bellamy looked happy, truly happy and deep down Clarke felt an ache in her chest. Clarke pushed the feeling away as she palmed her coffee in her hand.

“Clarke, this is Gina.” A nervous smile played across his lips as he stepped aside to let Clarke see Gina.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Clarke stood up and held her hand out to Gina, letting a smile come onto her face.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Bellamy has told me so much about you.” Gina grinned shaking Clarke’s hand.

“Only good things I hope.” Clarke smiled, Gina seemed like a lovely person. No matter how bad the ache in her chest was, she wasn’t going to be the reason for Bellamy’s unhappiness. “Are you still right with the kids today?”

“Yeah, Gina and I are going to take the kids to the park so Madi can play. Want me to save some dinner for you tonight?” Bellamy smiled as he laid Minerva in her bouncer.

“No it’s okay, I probably won’t be home until really late. It’s a sold-out show tonight.” Clarke spoke quietly and ran her hand through her hair.

“Where do you work?” Gina smiled and stepped closer to Bellamy.

“Clarke owns a bar called the Dropship, they have a lot of live music events.” He smiled and turned to Gina.

“I’ve been there a few times but it was owned by someone different then.” Gina paused thinking. “It was a guy, I can’t remember his name though.”

A sinking feeling washed over Clarke as she bit her lip and looked down, running her hand through her hair again.

“Clarke has only owned it since the end of last summer,” Bellamy explained quietly.

“Roan, that’s his name,” Gina spoke up as the name finally came to her. “I wonder why he sold it.”

“He didn’t.” His voice dropped as he got closer to Gina, hoping she would get the idea to drop the subject.

“Gina, it was lovely to meet you but I’ve got to get ready for work,” Clarke got out before heading upstairs.

“Roan was Clarke’s boyfriend, he died last summer.” Clarke could hear Bellamy explaining to Gina as she walked upstairs.

“I didn’t know.” She heard Gina say before Clarke got to the top of the stairs.

By the time Clarke came back downstairs, everyone had migrated into the lounge room. Gina sat on the couch cradling Minerva while Bellamy held Theo and Madi watched cartoons.

“Baby, come to give Mommy a kiss before I go to work.” Clarke smiled as she bent down next to Madi.

“Bye, Mommy!” Madi grinned, leaping into Clarke’s arms, placing a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

“Be good for Daddy and Gina, Okay? Help them with Mini and Theo.” Clarke smiled and hugged her daughter. “Love you, baby.”

“Love you more.” Madi giggled sitting back down.

“Love you more.” Clarke smiled.

“Okay.” Madi smiled before becoming engrossed in her cartoon again.

Bellamy passed Theo to Clarke and she cuddled him close. She kissed his head gently before passing him back. Clarke leant over and kissed Minerva’s head.

“I probably won’t be back until 3 am at the earliest, depending on how clean up goes.” Clarke straightened up, running her hands down her skirt to smooth it. “There’s plenty of milk in the freezer for Theo and Mini but I’ll be pumping at work, so if you run out you can drop by and get it.”

“We’ll be okay,” Bellamy assured with a small smile. “Stop panicking.”

“Call me if anything happens.” Clarke raised her eyebrow at Bellamy who nodded at her.

“Clarke, I’m really sorry about before,” Gina spoke, biting her lip as she looked at Clarke

“It’s okay, you didn’t know,” Clarke reassured, not wanting to talk about it. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

The ache in Clarke’s chest returned as she walked out of the house to her car. She knew what the ache was but she didn’t want to name it, identifying it would force her to stop ignoring it.

—— —— ——

As summer approaches, Clarke couldn’t be happier. Raven and Octavia would be back and Clarke wouldn’t feel so left out. The family she thought she had with Bellamy felt like it was slipping away and she was being replaced by Gina. Not that Gina was a bad person, she was a nice person and she was great with the kids. Madi loved Gina, almost to the point of obsession. The little girl would constantly talk about what she had done with Gina or the things Gina had gotten for her. Madi didn’t seem interested in spending time with Clarke anymore, it was all about Gina And that hurt Clarke. Not spending time with Bellamy hurt too, they had grown so close and now they barely spent any time together.

Walking into the cafe with Madi and the babies to meet up with Raven and Octavia. Madi immediately ran to Octavia, throwing her arms around her aunt. Raven immediately picked up Minerva and cooed at Theo. Clarke sat down at the table with a sigh feeling ignored, if she isolated before now was worse.

“You should look happier to see me, you haven’t seen me in forever.” Octavia pulled Clarke into a hug and Clarke relaxed in her embrace.

“I’ve missed you,” Clarke mumbled before pulling away and hugging Raven.

It didn’t take long for Madi to become engrossed by the muffin. Clarke distracted herself by listening to Octavia and Raven talk.

“Hey Madz, I think your Daddy and Mommy love each other.” Raven smiled knowingly at the little girl.

“No, Daddy loves Gina.” Madi shook her head.

“Who the hell is Gina?” Octavia whipped her head to Raven and Madi.

“O.” Clarke scolded with a frown, only really tuning into the conversation.

“Daddy’s Girlfriend.” Madi continued before turning her attention back to her food.

“Hold up, Bell has a girlfriend?” Octavia’s gaze landed on Clarke who shrugged as an answer.

“Bell was going to introduce you to her tonight at dinner at your mom’s place,” Clarke explained, her voice was quiet as she spoke. “Be nice O, Gina is nice and she makes your brother happy.”

“Are you coming to dinner?” Octavia raised an eyebrow, looking at Clarke.

“No, I’m working tonight.” Clarke looked down, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

“I need to pee,” Madi announced loudly.

“Come on, I’ll take you.” Octavia stood up and escorted the little girl to the bathroom.

“Hey, You okay?” Raven moved to the chair next to Clarke. “Don’t say that it’s nothing, I know you, Clarke.”

“I don’t know,” Clarke admitted after a long moment of silence. “I think everything is going great and then everything changes. I don’t know anymore.” She bit back tears and took a deep breath. “This is the first time in weeks Madi has wanted to do something with me. I have to force her or she'll sit there angry the whole time. She didn't fight today because you guys were going to be here. I feel like no matter what I do I’m messing up somehow.” Clarke sighed wiping her tears away. “These last couple of months, I’ve felt so alone.”

“Clarkie.” Raven pulled her into a tight hug. “Why didn’t you call me?” The guilt was obvious in Raven’s voice.

“I didn’t want to bother you just because I felt a little lonely,” Clarke mumbled.

“You always know I’m one call away, Clarke. I would’ve come and had a girls night with you.” Raven pulled away and brushed Clarke’s hair behind her ear. “Now why aren’t you going to dinner tonight? The truth this time.”

“Bell asked me not to go, he didn’t want there to be any awkward conversations especially with O there.” Clarke sighed wiping her eyes with a napkin.

“Be the boss, have someone else take the shift and we’ll have a girls night. You and me.” Raven smiled. “We’ll go dancing.”

“I’m glad, you’re back.” Clarke smiled and hugged Raven, tighter than usual but needed.

Octavia came back with Madi skipping next to her. She looked between Raven and Clarke with a raised eyebrow.

“What are you two planning?” Octavia smirked slowly as she looked between her two friends.

“Girls night, you should come after dinner.” Raven smiled.

“It’s been so long since we’ve had a true girls night.” Octavia smiled as Madi crawled onto her lap.

“Our last one was before you even got pregnant with Theo,” Raven commented leaning back in her chair.

“To girls night.” Octavia raised her glass of coffee and they clinked their glasses together with a giggle.

—— —— —— ——

Clarke wished she hadn’t let Raven convince her to wear the dress she had brought over to the house. It had a plunging v-line neckline and flared out from under the bust. The dark crimson fabric complimented her skin tone. The plunging neckline showed more cleavage then she’d like but Raven stated it showed off her assets. It didn’t help that her bra size was three times bigger than what she was because she was breastfeeding. Clarke didn’t think this was the type of dress that she should be wearing four months after having a baby. But Raven convinced her to wear it. Clarke pinned back the front two sections of her hair letting the rest flow free.

They walked into the bar on the other side of town, not wanting to go to the dropship tonight. Clarke had to use her fake id because she wasn’t 21 until the end of the summer but Raven was already 21. The immediately walked up to the bar to get drinks. Clarke was thankful that she had plenty of milk frozen. She knew that she was not going to be able to give them her milk until at least tomorrow night. She was going to need to pump and dump. She pushed the thought out her head, tonight she needed to let go and have fun.

“That Guy is checking you out,” Raven spoke into Clarke’s ear and point to a table across the other side of the bar.

Sitting at the table was one of the bands that played at the Dropship. They were the same band that played the weekend Roan died. The lead singer, Liam was smirking at her before giving her a wink. They had played at the bar at least half a dozen times since last summer and each show had sold out. Clarke liked talking to them and became pretty good friends with them, work wise at least.

“I know them, let’s go say hi.” Clarke smiled grabbing their drinks off the bar.

Clarke walked over to them with a smile. The rest of the band seemed to notice her presence, getting up to greet her with a kiss on the cheek.

“Guys, this is my friend Raven.” Clarke smiled as the guys waved at Raven. “Raven, this is Liam, Chase, Derrick and Penn. They’re one of the bands that play at the bar pretty frequently.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Raven smiled as Clarke sat down next to Liam in the booth.

Raven scooted in next to Clarke causing Clarke to move closer to Liam. Raven engrossed herself in a conversation with Chase about what she was studying.

“You look beautiful,” Liam spoke into Clarke’s ear.

Clarke could feel Liam’s breath on her neck which sent a shiver down her spine.

Clarke could feel her cheeks burning red and his hand on the middle of her back.

“You’re blushing... cute,” Liam whispered into her ear before flashing her a smirk.

Clarke couldn’t quite remember who suggested they all dance. It was most likely Raven but they all ended up on the dance floor. It was well after 10 pm when Octavia finally arrived. She dragged Raven and Clarke into the bathroom.

“How was dinner?” Clarke asked as soon as they got into the bathroom.

“Gina’s perfect.” Octavia sighed defeated. “Anywhore, who’s the hottie?” She wiggled her eyebrows at Clarke with a smirk.

“He’s been all over her,” Raven smirked as she watched Clarke’s face flush red. “His name is Liam.”

“You mean Lead singer Hottie that’s had his eyes on Clarke since he met her?” Octavia giggled excitedly.

“I’m still not sure how to do this,” Clarke admitted with a sigh.

“Just keep doing what you’re doing.” Raven smiled reassuringly and hugged Clarke tightly.

Pulling back Clarke felt her purse vibrate from her phone and sighed quietly. Pulling her phone out she saw that she had 15 texts from Bellamy.

Bellamy 8:45 pm: Where are you?

Bellamy 8:48 pm: I thought you’d be home.

Bellamy 9:00 pm: Theo and Mini are unsettled.

Bellamy 9:00 pm: They need to feed.

Bellamy 9:10 pm: Never mind, found milk in the freezer.

Bellamy 9:30 pm: Thanks for not coming to dinner, it went really good. I just didn’t want it to be awkward for Gina.

Bellamy 9:35 pm: You understand. It gets awkward having you there sometimes.

Bellamy 9:36 pm: I mean you’re a part of the family. But it’s a little awkward to have you there when I introduce my girlfriend to my family.

Bellamy 9:37 pm: It’s just weird

Bellamy 9:45 pm: Where’s Mini’s white blanket?

Bellamy 10:10 pm: If you’re out, can you buy diapers on your way home?

Bellamy 10:13 pm: and wipes

Bellamy 10:14 pm: We need milk and bread too.

Bellamy 10:35 pm: Let me know when you’re on your way home

Bellamy 10:55 pm: Theo just threw up everything he drank, I don’t know what to do.

“I’ve got to go, Theo’s sick.” Clarke sighed and started to text Bellamy back.

Clarke: I’m leaving now. I’ll stop by Walmart on my way home.

“You guys stay and have fun.” Clarke gave them a small smile.

“Are you okay to drive home?” Octavia frowned with a worried look on her face.

“Yeah, I’ve only had one drink.” Clarke nodded slowly.

“You okay?” Raven frowned slowly.

“Yeah.” Clarke gave her a tight smile before walking out of the bathroom.

They walked towards the guys again. Liam's hands snaked around Clarke’s waist but she moved out of his hold.

“I’ve got to go but I had fun tonight.” Clarke turned on her heels and walked out of bar quickly.

“Hey Clarke, wait!” Liam called out as he followed Clarke out of the bar.

Liam managed to grab her hand and pull her back to him. He pressed his lips to hers as he laced his fingers into her hair. He pulled back slightly with a smirk.

“Let me take you on a date,” Liam smirked as he stroked her cheek with his thumb.

“Okay but I really have to go now.” Clarke blushed, giving him a small smile as she walked to her car.

—- ——- —— ——

Clarke walked into the house with the groceries. She sighed and put shopping down in the dining room. Clarke could hear the babies crying already. Bellamy came into the dining room with both babies in his arms. Immediately, he passed both babies to her. An overwhelmed look plastered on his face. Clarke immediately started to bounce them and hum to them.

Back to the real world, Clarke thought as she heated up the bottles for Minerva and Theo.

Chapter Text

Getting out of bed the morning after her failed girls night out was the last thing Clarke wanted to do. She honestly felt no motivation this morning but Theo’s cries through the baby monitor forced her up. She spent most of the night up with Theo and Minerva, both babies sick with a stomach bug. A long yawn left her lips as she picked up Theo.

“Are you feeling better baby?” Clarke smiled down at her little boy, trying to soothe his cries.

Minerva started to cry, triggered by Theo’s cries. Another yawn left Clarke’s lips as she walked out of the nursery to Bellamy’s room, knocking on the door.

“Bell? Can you come get Mini? she’s crying.” Clarke spoke through the door.

Bellamy opened the door and smiled at her.

“Are you able to get her? Gina and I are heading out for breakfast.” Bellamy’s words made Clarke scoff, she was tired and not in the mood to be nice.

“Your daughter is sick, you need to stay home and look after her.” She spoke sternly. “I love Mini like she was my own daughter but you're her father, you need to look after her. I was up with both of them most of last night.” She watched him try and talk again but cut him off. “Bell, look after your daughter.” She turned on her heels and walked back to her room.

—— —— —— ——

Clarke relaxed in the bath with Theo laying on her chest, Theo still wasn’t feeling well and just wanted some physical contact. She kissed his head gently and rubbed his back gently as the baby boy cooed. She liked bonding time like this with Theo, especially when he wasn’t feeling well.

“Does that feel good Theo?” Clarke smiled slowly and scooped the water over his back.

“Mommy!” Madi called out loudly.

“I’m in the bath baby,” Clarke called back and it didn’t take long for Madi to barrel through the door. “What’s up?”

“Aunty O’s here,” Madi announced loudly but Octavia was already walking in.

“Well, isn’t this cute.” Octavia smiled sitting on the stool in the bathroom.

“He wanted a cuddle and I could use a bath.” Clarke smiled as she continued to rub Theo’s back gently.

Clarke was completely comfortable being naked around Octavia and vice versa. They had been friends most of their lives and used to have baths together as kids. They’re just comfortable around each other completely.

“I thought we could have a movie night, grab some take out and chill.” Octavia shrugged slowly.

“That sounds perfect.” Clarke smiled slowly. “I could use a night like that.”

Octavia grabbed a towel and took Theo off Clarke’s chest, letting Clarke get out of the bath, wrapping a towel around herself.

“Are you all clean little man?” Octavia cooed down at Theo as she walked him over to the bed. “You don’t look like your Mommy at all.” She cooed laying him down on the bed.

“He’s Daddy all over.” Clarke laughed opening her draws to pick out pyjamas.

“Clarke, I need your help,” Bellamy said quickly as he opened the door and walked in.

“A little privacy, Bell.” Clarke groaned as she stared daggers into him.

“I heard O’s voice, I thought it was okay to come in.” He defended as he walked back out, shutting the door mostly.

“I witnessed Clarke give birth to your daughter, I’ve seen every part of her,” Octavia called out. “Never assume it’s safe to come in. That’s why there’s this magical thing called knocking.”

“It’s not like I haven’t seen it before.” Bellamy countered.

Clarke rolled her eyes as she changed into her pyjamas quickly before flinging the door open, glaring at him intently.

“Doesn’t mean you get to see me naked now.” Clarke crossed her arms, still glaring at him. “Now what’s the big drama you need my help with?”

“Can you watch Mini for a couple of hours while Gina and I go get dinner?” He raked his hand through his hair as he watched her.

“No.” Clarke threw her arms up in the air. “Mini is still sick, stay home and look after her.”

“It’s just a couple of hours.” He sighed, crossing his arms.

“I’m not your live-in babysitter for whenever you and Gina want to go out.” Clarke snapped.

“Hold up, douche lord,” Octavia spoke up, taking a spot next to Clarke. “Weren’t you the one getting up Clarke last summer about palming Madi off so she could go out?” Octavia paused for a moment to admire the fact that she had made her brother speechless. “Aren’t you just the little hypocrite? How about you and Gina get Take out and you look after Mini yourself?” She crosses her arms raising her eyebrow at Her brother.

Octavia waved at Bellamy before shutting the bedroom door in his face. Octavia turned to Clarke, narrowing his eyes.

“Does He always do this?” Octavia watched Clarke carefully.

“Since he started dating Gina, yeah.” Clarke sighed walking back to the bed where Theo was still laying, wrapped in a towel. “I forgot to grab a diaper.” She scanned the room quickly, hoping to find one. “Hey baby, can you grab baby brother a diaper?”

Madi had been sitting on the bed sitting chatting to Theo while the baby just grinned at her. Madi nodded at her mother, jumping off the bed to run to the nursery.

“It’s like when he dates someone, he completely forgets about his responsibilities and the needs of others,” Clarke spoke quickly before Madi got back. “And today, I’ve just had it. I was up with Mini and Theo almost all night. Did he help? Nope, he was too busy fucking Gina.”

“He needs to fucking learn that you’re not his fucking maid.” Octavia hissed as Madi walked back into the room, diaper in hand. “Has Liam texted you about your date yet?” Octavia wiggles her eyebrows.

“I haven’t looked at my phone.” Clarke shrugged as she put the diaper on Theo.

Octavia crawled over to the bed and grabbed Clarke’s phone off the bedside table. She unlocked the phone and froze reading.

“What?” Clarke frowned slowly as she finished putting the Onesie on Theo.

“He wants you to meet him at the high tower restaurant tomorrow at 6.” Octavia smiled slowly before typing something. “I’m telling him you can’t wait.”

“What are we getting for dinner?” Clarke changed the subject after rolling her eyes at Octavia.

“Hot wet rice!” Madi spoke up loudly.

“Italian it is then.” Octavia laughed slowly before pulling Madi into a hug.

Chapter Text

Clarke stared at herself in mirror one last time before finally feeling satisfied with her appearance. Clarke could hear a knock at the front and rushed to do up the back of the dress before heading downstairs. Bellamy opened the front door before Clarke had even made it to the top of the stairs. Raven and Octavia pushed past Bellamy into the entryway.

“Clarke’s got a date tonight and you’re not going to ruin it,” Raven explained to Bellamy with her arms crossed.

“Clarke, go have fun, we’ve got everything covered.” Octavia laughed as she pushed Clarke out of the door. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

Clarke shook her head as she walked to the car, laughing quietly.

—— —— —— ——

Nerves were the first thing Clarke felt waiting in the restaurant at the table for Liam. She hadn’t felt nervous like this in years. She was early, it was only 5:50 pm, bringing along her fake ID wasn’t a bad thing. She was able to settle some of her nerves by sipping on the glass of wine she ordered.

Her nerves gradually got worse when 6 pm rolled around. Liam walked into the restaurant with a smile as he made a beeline towards the table where Clarke was sitting. Clarke was glad she had decided to wear the black dress Octavia had picked out for her because Liam was dressed in a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to just below his elbows. Clarke couldn’t help but notice that he had gotten a haircut, his sandy blonde hair was neatly shaved around the sides leaving the hair on top longer.

“You look beautiful.” Liam smiled and kissed Clarke’s cheek before sitting across from her.

“Thank you.” Clarke smiled, blushing slightly. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

“I’m going, to be honest, I’m nervous as heck.” He admitted with a nervous laugh.

“You and me both.” She ran a hand through her hair. “How about we order and relax a bit?”

“Yeah.” He seemed to visibly relax, smiling across the table at her.

They both relaxed once they put their orders in, they settled into small talk easily.

“I never did find out what you ended up having.” He watched her carefully as he took a sip of his whiskey.

“I had a boy, Theo, he’s almost five months old now.” She smiled proudly.

“Is He your first?” He smiled as he watched her.

“My second, I have a daughter, Madi, she’ll be four at the end of summer.”

“Roan’s as well?” He raised his eyebrow slowly.

“No, I met Roan about a year after I had Madi.” Her eyes dropped slowly. “What about your family?”

“My parents weren’t ever really together but they were good parents. My dad got married for the first time a few years ago.” He took a long sip of his drink. “I can’t say that I’m particularly fond of the woman, I’ve heard stories about her.”

“What kind of stories?” A smirk played on her lips as she watched him.

“Just about how she’s treated her daughter. I honestly don’t see what my father sees in her.” He shook his head slowly. “Do I get to meet Mrs... come to think about it, I don’t even know your last name.” A low chuckle left his lips.

“Griffin and no you won’t meet her, I don’t speak to my mother.” She looked down, shaking her head.

“Griffin?” The chuckle grew louder as he shook his head.

“What’s so funny?” She raised her eyebrow slowly.

“Does your mother happen to be Abigail Griffin?” He smirked.

“Your father is Marcus Kane?” She stared at him with wide eyes.

“So technically we’re step-siblings.” He chuckled slowly.

“Technically not. Abigail disowned me over 4 years ago.” She smirked as she took a sip of her wine. “Dating you would piss her off.”

“Dating you would definitely piss her off.” He lent over the table and kissed her slowly.

Clarke couldn't help as the blush rose in her cheeks as she watched Liam sit down again. Liam looked at her and chuckled quietly.

"You're so damn cute when you blush." He smirked as he watched her. "You haven't dated much, have you?"

"There were two people high school but they don't really count. Roan was the only person I've properly dated." She admitted quietly.

"What about Madi's dad?" He raised an eyebrow but she just frowned.

"We didn't really date," Clarke mumbled slightly. "It's a long story. Do you remember Octavia from the bar?"

"The mean looking one?" he chuckled again trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, she has a mean looking resting bitch face." She smiled slowly. "Octavia's brother is Madi's father."

"Things didn't go well I assume." he sat back slowly.

"Definitely not." She shook her head slowly. "Let's talk about something else."

"It's okay, I just want to know your damage. I think it's good to know plus I'm positive I could one-up you." he offered her a smile as he took a sip of her drink.

"So what is your damage?" she met his gaze and bit her lip.

"My last girlfriend left me for my stepdad." He leant forward. "She's now 22 and he's 47. this happened two years ago, so she was 20 and he was 45, they announced their relationship a year after my mom died and two days after she dumped me. the thing is that I'm still pretty close with his kids and his parents but it's still messed up. took me a long time to get over that."

"That's bad." Clarke shook her head, unsure of what to say really.

"What's the story with Madi's dad?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I've known him all my life when I was sixteen around Thanksgiving, I walked in on my then girlfriend in bed with her ex-girlfriend. I went to find Octavia, found him instead. One thing leads to another.” She took a sip of her wine. “He was home from college, it kept going, we made plans for when he’d be home for Christmas. He told me he loved me and then the night before he left he told me he was using me.” She took another sip. “He had a girlfriend waiting for him back on campus. I told him I was pregnant when he came home for Christmas. He told me I’d be a horrible mother and that the baby was better if I had an abortion. I punched him in the face.”

“Damn, He sounds like a dick.” Liam shook his head slowly.

“She sounds like a bitch,” Clarke commented.

“To dicks of exes.” He raised his glass slowly.

“Cheers.” She clinked his glass as the waitress came back around with their meals.

“To getting better.” He smiled and reached across the table, taking her hand in his.

“To getting better.” She whispered as he kissed her hand.

—— —— —— ——

Clarke couldn’t help but smile the whole way home after her date. For the first time in a long time, she truly didn’t feel isolated. She felt normal. Liam made her feel normal tonight and Clarke didn’t realise how much she needed to feel normal until tonight.

Walking up to the house, Clarke couldn’t get the smile off her face. It was quiet as she walked into the house which Clarke didn’t expect, she thought that Mini or Theo would be up fussing because they’d both be due for a feed. But it was quiet. She found Raven feeding Theo a bottle in the lounge room while Octavia sat with Madi curled up on her lap asleep.

“How was it?” Raven smiled excitedly.

“Clarke.” Bellamy cut Clarke off before Clarke could talk as he came out of the dining room.

Clarke sighed slowly and walked out onto the front porch with Bellamy.

“Yes, Bellamy?” Clarke breathed out and ran a hand through her hair.

“You went out on a date?” Bellamy narrowed his eyes as he crossed his arms.

“Yeah, sue me.” Clarke shrugged.

“I thought you weren’t ready.” He frowned deeply.

“I’m ready now.” She sighed slowly. “What’s it matter to you anyway?”

“You told me that you weren’t ready.” He spoke through his teeth as he glared at her.

“When you kissed me before Thanksgiving.” She threw her arms up in the air, shaking her head. “You don’t get to play the jealousy card, Bellamy, you’re with Gina.” She narrowed her eyes and dropped the tone in her voice.

“We-“ Bellamy started but stopped himself. “Roan w-.” He started again but Clarke cut him off.

“Don’t you dare bring him into this.” She snapped.

“We should’ve discussed this before you went out.” He lowered his voice.

“You never discussed it with me when you started dating Gina or when you introduced her to Madi.” Her tone was icy as she looked him straight in the eye. “I’m done, Bellamy. This co-parenting under the same roof isn’t working because we’re not co-parenting, I’m looking after the kids while you run away from your responsibilities as a father. Tomorrow, I’m taking Theo and Madi to Tybe’s for a few days, I want you gone by the time I get back.” She turned on her heels and walked towards the door.

“What about Mini?” He countered and it made her stop in her tracks.

“She’s your daughter.” She spoke quietly, her chest ached from the thought of not being there for Minerva, the baby girl was like her own daughter.

“She still needs your milk.” He countered again and she could hear him step closer to her but she kept her back to him.

“She’s old enough to have formula.” Her voice was even quieter than before.

“You’re abandoning her.” His voice dropped.

Clarke couldn’t say anything, she just opened the front door and walked straight upstairs to her room, holding back tears as he chest painfully ached.

Chapter Text

Clarke honestly couldn’t remember how long she’d been standing at the edge of the cot staring down at the sleeping baby. The baby who had become her own in every sense of the word. The baby that she loved as much as the one she had given birth to. Her chest ached painfully at the thought of being separated from her. She could feel tears starting to sting her eyes as she kept her gaze on the sleeping infant.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Bellamy’s voice broke the silence that hung in the room.

He stepped into the room but Clarke didn’t move at all, she just kept watching Minerva sleep.

“You’re the only mother Mini has ever known and will ever know.” He kept his voice quiet. “That will never change, I don’t care where our paths take us, you’re her mother.”

He stepped closer but she still didn’t move.

“I’ve been beyond selfish.” He admitted quietly, taking a deep breath. “And it took our family almost breaking up for me to realise. I can’t lose this.” He took another deep breath. “I can’t lose our family.”

A silence hung between them again as he joined her gaze down at the small sleeping figure.

“I’ve made you deal with so much when we should’ve been working as a team. I’m sorry about that.” His voice was a shaky whisper. “I’ve failed you and the kids so much.”

“I should’ve told you that I was burning out sooner,” Clarke admitted in a whisper that matched his.

“I should’ve noticed it sooner.” He countered. “I shouldn’t have put all of the responsibility on you in the first place.” He sighed heavily. “Can we go sit outside? Let them sleep.”

Clarke nodded slowly and followed him without hesitation. The was a peaceful silence between them as they settled down into the seats they had on the front porch. Clarke turned up the volume on the baby monitor before putting it on the small table between the chairs.

“I have this constant fear in the back of my mind that you’re just not going to be there one day like when Madi was born,” Clarke admitted quietly as she fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. “I know that’s not fair for me to put that on you because you’re not the same person you were but it’s just always there.”

A sigh left her lips as she raked her hand through her hair.

“After what I did to you, I deserve it.” His eyes dropped to the floor. “I’m surprised you even let me into Madi’s life again.”

“She’s still your daughter and I promised I would never stop you from seeing her.” She moved her gaze to land on him.

“I don’t blame you for having that fear.” He admitted with a shrug. “I literally have no redeeming qualities.”

“That’s a lie.” She shook her head. “When you’re not doubting yourself constantly or distracting yourself, you’re a good father. You just doubt yourself constantly, you doubt that if you’re doing the right thing.” She took another deep breath. “Maybe that’s why you’ve been stepping back more.”

The silence crept over them again as they looked out over the sky.

“I’m scared I’m going to mess up.” His voice was a whisper. “I’m scared I’m going to hurt them or just do the wrong thing.”

“I used to feel like that constantly when Madi was first born.” She took a deep breath. “As a parent, you’re constantly learning and you are going to constantly worry if you’re doing the right thing. That’s just what a part of being a parent.”

Clarke lent back with a sigh as the chair creaked.

“What if we went to councilling together?” Bellamy suggested. “I don’t want our family to break up, I want to do this for our family.”

“I’ll do it.” She spoke up. “Roan will always be Theo’s father but you’re the only dad he’s ever known.” Her voice dropped down to a whisper as she looked at him slowly.

“Thank you.” His voice broke as he spoke.

—— —— —— ——

Looking around the room, Clarke didn’t think this looked like the place you’d go to counselling for. Mind you, she was still in shock by this councillor, he was completely casual, insisting Clarke call him Cage and not to call him doctor at all. Both Bellamy and Clarke spoke about their issues and their history, answering every question that Cage had for them.

“You two are a mess.” Cage sighed, tossing his notepad down onto the coffee table that separated him from Clarke and Bellamy. “You don’t know how to communicate with each other effectively, you ignore each other’s needs. Honestly, it’s like dealing with hormonal teenagers.”

Clarke fidgeted uncomfortably as she sat next to Bellamy on the small couch.

“Alright, I’m going to give you two some exercises and instructions. You two need to stick with it or you’re never going to fix this.” Cage gestured between the two of them. “The first exercise is the one you’re going to be doing the most.” He got up and retrieved an empty glass fish bowl, placing it in front of them. “You’re going to put this on your kitchen counter with a notepad and a pen. If either of you has any issues or something you need to talk about, you write it down and put it in the bowl. Once a week, you two are going to sit down, go through the bowl and discuss it. It’s important that you set aside time together to do this when you’re not going to be disturbed.”

“We can do that,” Bellamy spoke up nodding slowly.

“You have to be truthful with each other, no secrets.” Cage narrowed his eyes at Bellamy making Clarke frown deeply. “Clarke, I want you to take some time for yourself, go away for the weekend. Plan it carefully, it’ll give you a break and Bellamy can focus on the kids.”

Chapter Text

“Counselling?” Octavia raised her eyebrow at Clarke slowly. 

“Yeah.” Clarke nodded slowly as she put the caps on the liquor bottles. 

Octavia and Clarke were closing up the bar for the night. It had been relatively quiet all night so they were going to get out on time tonight. 

“We’ve got Madi, Mini and Theo to think about. This isn’t just about the two of us anymore.” Clarke sighed quietly running her hand through her hair. “Bell and I don’t talk, we fight. That’s all we’ve been doing lately.”

“Maybe this councillor will teach you two how to act like normal humans around each other.” Octavia chuckled slowly as a figure walked up to the bar. 

“Hopefully.” Clarke hummed quietly, keeping her back to the bar as she cleaned up. 

Octavia squealed as she ran around the other side of the bar to hug Lincoln. 

“What the hell?” Clarke turned on her heels to find Octavia lip-locked with Lincoln. 

“You weren’t supposed to be here for another week,” Octavia smirked as she pulled away slowly. 

“I wanted to surprise you,” Lincoln smirked and stroked her cheek gently. 

Clarke felt a familiar sting in her chest that she used to get a lot when she’d see couples together after Roan’s death. Now it’s didn’t happen as often but the sting was still the same. 

“I still have to close up.” Octavia pouted kissing Lincoln again gently. 

“Go, I’ve got this.” Clarke smiled, they had already done the last call, she would just have to wait for everyone to clear out and do the last of the cleaning. 

“Thank you!” Octavia ran around to give Clarke a crushing hug. “Love you!”

“Love you too, O.” Clarke let out a quiet laugh before watching the couple walk out. 

—— —— —— —— 

Clarke yawned silently as she walked into the house after closing the bar. She toed off her work boots and threw her keys onto the end table by the door. 

“Mommy’s home.” Bellamy’s voice was quiet but accompanied by Minerva’s quiet cries. “Hey.” He offered Clarke a small smile as she walked into the lounge room. 

“Hey.” Clarke returned the smile, sitting on the couch next to him. “Come here, baby.” She took Minerva and kissed her head. “She didn’t take the bottle?”

“Or the baby food.” He sighed defeated. “Theo was fine, he ate all of the purée you made and then had his bottle before bed. Hasn’t woken up since.”

“She might not be feeling well.” She mumbled as she crossed her legs and started breastfeeding Minerva. 

“I can try and get her an appointment at the doctor's.” He suggested quietly with a small shrug. 

“We can if you want to but honestly I don’t think it’s anything but her being a bit fussy and not feeling the best.” She stroked the little girl’s head gently. 

“Is she feeding properly?” He kept his gaze firmly on the tv in front of them, not wanting to make Clarke feel uncomfortable with how exposed she was in front of him.

“Yeah, she’s really hungry.” She shrugged slowly, not particularly caring that part of her chest was exposed while she fed Minerva. She was completely comfortable feeding both the babies that it didn’t even bother her anymore. 

“I was thinking that maybe we could go away for the 4th of July. All of us. Us, the kids, O, Lincoln and the others.” He suggested quietly. 

“Yeah, that’ll be good.” She turned her head and smiled at him slowly. 

“You could invite the guy you’re seeing.” He couldn’t even hide how awkward he felt saying it. “I mean, Gina is going to be there. It only fair.” His voice dropped to a mumble as his eyes stayed glued on the TV. 

“We’ll see.” She shrugged slowly. “I’ve only been out with him once, so it’s nowhere near that serious.”

Clarke could’ve sworn she saw a small smirk appear on Bellamy’s lips as his eyes never left the screen. 

—— —— —— ——

A few days later, Clarke weaved her way through the bar towards the stage where Liam was setting up with his bandmates. The bar was already pretty packed and she had already spotted Raven sitting at a table with Murphy, Jasper, Monty and their girlfriends. The next person she spotted she wasn’t too happy about, her mother was sitting at a table in the VIP section. She looked wound up as usual and as uncomfortable as ever. 

“Clarke!” Liam weaved past the others and kissed Clarke’s cheek gently. 

“Hey, I was coming to give you guys some water before you started.” Clarke smiled nervously as she handed out the bottles of water. 

“Lies! You just wanted to see Liam!” Chase laughed shaking his head slowly. 

“She didn’t just want to see him,” Derrick smirked slowly. 

“Shut up.” Liam laughed, ducking his head as his cheeks started to burn. “Thanks for the water, I’ll catch you later, okay?”

Liam dipped down to give Clarke a gentle kiss as his hands laced into her hair. When he pulled away slowly, Clarke smiled slowly before turning on her heels to weave back to the bar. 

“You’re under 21, you’re not getting a beer,” Octavia argued as Clarke made her way behind the bar. 

“Do you even know who I am?” The cocky young guy’s voice made Clarke’s eyes roll immediately. “Get me a beer or I’ll have your job. I’m VERY close with the owner, practically family.”

The comment made Octavia openly laugh, shaking her head causing her black hair fly out in different directions. 

“You’ve got two choices here, order something non-alcoholic or get out.” Octavia narrowed her eyes at the cocky guy. “Choose.”

The cocky guy didn’t say anything for the longest time causing Octavia to raise an eyebrow at him. 

“Fine, a coke but the owner will be hearing about this.” The Guy huffed out loudly causing Octavia to roll her eyes as she got his coke. 

“What seems to be the problem?” Clarke stepped forward raising her eyebrow. 

“Are you the manager?” The guy narrowed his eyes at Clarke but they had no effect on her. 

“I’m the owner, apparently we’re VERY close.” Clarke mocked with a smirk. “Practically family, apparently.” She crossed her arms slowly. “Here’s a tip, that shit doesn’t even work if you’re family with the owner, you’re underage, plain and simple. You won’t get served anything but Soda and water, pull that shit again and you’re out.”

The guy grabbed his drink with a grumble and paid Octavia the balance. Octavia mouthed a thank you to Clarke before she kept serving. Clarke smiled to herself as she disappeared into the storeroom to grab the bottles for table service. 

Clarke’s mind drifted to Roan a lot on nights like this, they shared so many memories in the bar. Clarke could remember the night she asked Roan out on a date for the first time. She had been working at the bar for about two months when Roan had come into to do inventory for the third time that week. 

—— —— —— —— 

Clarke’s gaze fell on the storeroom door again where Roan had disappeared through after mumbling a quick “I’m doing inventory” to Anya and her as he passed through the bar. Clarke’s crush was bad and she had it since her interview with him for the job. It was the type of crush where you got butterflies in your stomach anytime you saw them. He made her nervous. Really nervous. She constantly felt like she was going to say something stupid in front of him. 

Clarke was positive that Octavia was getting sick of hearing about Roan but then again Octavia would talk about Lincoln, the guy she was seeing just as much. Octavia’s words of encouragement to her were “man the fuck up and ask him out, the worst he can say is no.”

The bar was quiet with just a few regulars milling around in their usual seats. Anya was busy talking to one of their regulars. Clarke took a deep breath and gathered the courage to walk into the storeroom. She found Roan staring at a clipboard, cracking his knuckles, muttering something under his breath. 

“Hey,” Clarke spoke up with a small smile, Roan seemed a little startled to see her. 

“Clarke... Hey.” Roan’s voice was his typical stoic, hard tone. “I’m just doing inventory.”

“Yeah, you said you were going to be doing it.” She smiled nervously before looking down. “It’s the third time this week.” She looked up at him through the pieces of hair that had fallen in her face.

She watched him carefully as his shoulders dropped slightly disappointed. 

“We have some big events coming up, I wanted to make sure we have everything ready for it.” He started to crack his knuckles again, looking down at the clipboard as She narrowed her eyes trying to figure him out. 

She took another deep breath. 

It’s now or never. She told herself. 

“I was wondering if you’re doing anything tomorrow night?” Her voice gave away how nervous she truly was. 

His eyes snapped up from the clipboard and he met her gaze, she watched him swallow slowly. 

“N-n-nothing.” He stuttered slightly. “I’m doing nothing.”

“A new burger place opened up in Mount Weather, I was wondering if you wanted to check it out with me?” She bit her lip slowly as she watched him carefully, still trying to read him.

“Yeah, I heard about it. It’s supposed to be good.” He nodded slowly.

A silence hung between them, Clarke felt stupid for asking him out. He obviously didn’t want to go out with her, he didn’t even answer her question. She turned on her heels and started to walk towards the door.

“I’ll pick you up at 6?” His voice called out which made her stop and turn back to him.

“Okay.” She smiled slowly before turning back to walk into the bar again.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Clarke broke out of her thoughts and gathered the bottles before heading back into the bar. The lines at the bar had thinned slightly, Octavia had the bottle of champagne ready for Clarke to take to the VIP section. Clarke weaved through the crowd to the VIP section and started to give out the bottles to the right tables. Until the bottle of champagne was left, which she had to deliver to her mother’s table.

“Clarke, it’s so good to see you.” Marcus smiled widely as a frown set deeply into Abby’s brow.

“Marcus, how have you been?” Clarke smiled slowly.

“I’ve been good, excited to watch my son tonight.” Marcus’ had a proud smile on his face as he glanced over at the stage. “How’s the kids? The baby?”

“Madi is good, she’s at home with her dad, probably watching a documentary.” Clarke laughed quietly. “Theo is good too, he’s almost five months old now.”

“We have to have you over for dinner with the kids,” Marcus suggested, sending Abby a warning look to keep her mouth shut.

“I don’t know.” Clarke shook her head slowly.

“I’d love to meet the kids and I think it will be good for your mother to meet them as well.” Marcus’ tone dropped to a softer one. “My son, Liam will be there too.”

“I’ll talk to Bellamy and get back to you.” Clarke held back a sigh.

“Where will I be?” Liam’s voice broke their attention and Marcus turned to Liam with a proud smile.

“Liam, this is Clarke, Abby’s daughter.” Marcus smiled slowly. “Clarke, this is my son Liam.”

Liam moved past his father and planted a kiss on Clarke’s cheek as his arm snaked around her waist.

“I know,” Liam smirked before giving Clarke a long kiss.

When Liam pulled away, Clarke was in shock about what happened. She wasn’t the only one who was shocked, both Abby and Marcus’ mouths hung open as they watched the younger couple. Tension filled the air between the four, especially when Clarke moved away from Liam’s touch, feeling uncomfortable and overwhelmed.

“I better get back to work,” Clarke mumbled before slipping away into the crowd.

“Clarke, wait up!” Liam called out as he followed her as she weaved through the crowd.

He caught up to her as she started to head up the stairs to the office. He caught her hand and made her stop.

“Hey, I’m sorry.” Liam frowned slowly as he looked up at her. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“I just wasn’t expecting it,” Clarke admitted with a sigh. “I’m not used to this. Telling Marcus and Abby like that now, it’s just all too fast.” She shook her head slowly.

“I’m fucking this up, aren’t I?” Liam sighed leaning against the wall.

“We just need to put the breaks on and slow down.” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

“Slow.” He nodded his head thinking. “I can do that.” He looked up at her slowly. “We’ll go a slow as you want.”

“You better get back, you need to start or you’ll get fired.” She gave him a small encouraging smile.

“You wouldn’t dare.” He smirked as he headed back down the stairs looking back at her.

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Clarke sighed as she sat out the back of the bar on a break with Octavia on break. The night air letting Clarke relax slightly as they looked up at the sky.

“Maybe it’s good that you told him you need to slow down. You don’t need to rush into it, especially if you’re not ready.” Octavia looked at Clarke carefully.

“I just don’t know what I want anymore.” Clarke sighed with a small shrug. “I like Liam but something always draws me back to Bell.” Clarke's shoulders slumped at her confession. She felt a relief at admitting how she felt to someone.

“I can’t lie, you two always have had a connection.” Octavia slumped back slowly against the wall. “You two can’t work together until you can be friends without fighting.”

“I know, trust me, we need to sort out so much shit before we can even think about being together.” Clarke huffed out. “It might never happen. Everything might work out with Gina.”

“Maybe while you’re sorting stuff out with Bell and working on being friends, you can have fun with Liam.” Octavia raised her eyebrow slowly. “Take it slow with him but he might be good for you.”

“I’m just so confused.” Clarke groaned loudly.

“Don’t over think it, just let it happen.” Octavia looked at her friend slowly. “Just go with the flow.”

“Nice work tonight by the way.” Clarke smiled bumping shoulders with Octavia.

“Thanks, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” Octavia’s voice dropped a bit quieter.

“Shoot.” Clarke watched her friend curiously.

“Would it be possible to still have this job after the summer?” Octavia's voice gave away the fact that she was nervous.

“Of course, O. Your family.” Clarke gave her a smile as she bumped her shoulder. “What about your classes?”

“I’m doing my last year online, Lincoln’s graduated and he’s got a job at a friend’s gallery in town. We’re looking for a place to move into.” Octavia gave a small smile to Clarke.

“We better get back inside.” Clarke pulled herself off the bench with a sigh.

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Clarke woke the next morning to a knock on her bedroom door. She sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes with a yawn. She glanced at the clock and realised she had a pretty decent sleep in after getting home at 3 am.

“Come in.” Her voice came out croaky and the door creaked open.

Madi came running in with Bellamy behind her carrying a tray with a plate of pancakes and bacon, a cup of coffee and a glass of orange juice.

“Morning Mommy!” Madi squealed as she jumped onto the bed.

“Good morning baby.” Clarke smiled pulling Madi into a hug, kissing the top of her head gently.

“Madi wanted to make you breakfast.” Bellamy smiled as he sat on the side of the bed putting the tray in front of Clarke.

“I made this.” Madi proudly pointed to the pancakes. “And this.” She pointed the bacon. “And this.” Her smile grew wider as she pointed at the coffee.

“Aww, thank you, baby.” Clarke smile kissing Madi’s head. “Thank you, Bell.” She smiled at Bellamy slowly. “Where’s Theo and Mini?”

“Down for a nap. They got up pretty early.” Bellamy stretched with a small yawn.

“Thanks for letting me sleep in, it was a crazy busy night.” Clarke grabbed the cup of coffee. “I’ve got to book somewhere for all of us to stay for the 4th of July. When I looked yesterday there was this house on a lake still available a few hours away. It’s a little pricey but I’m happy to cover it if everyone else pitches in to get the food and drinks for the trip.”

“How close to the lake is it?” His eyebrows knitted together in thought as he moved to sit cross-legged on the end of the bed.

“It’s right on the lake, there are enough rooms for everyone, except Mini and Theo will have to share the portable cot in one of our rooms.” She smiled as Madi took a whole pancake off Clarke’s plate and started it with a cheeky giggle.

“That’s supposed to be Mommy’s!” Bellamy mocked being shocked but Madi just giggled again.

“Your lucky mommy loves you,” Clarke smirked and kissed Madi’s head gently with a loud mwah.

“Sounds good, it’ll a good few days away.” He smiled slowly watching Clarke.

“I can’t wait it’ll be good to get away. I’d actually like to get some family photos while we’re away. It’ll be the first closest thing to a family holiday the kids have ever had.” Clarke picked up a piece of bacon with a smile.

“Family photos, you’ve got it.” He smiled widely as he watches Clarke and Madi. 

Chapter Text

Clarke stretched before sitting on the couch cross-legged facing Bellamy, who was sitting in the same position as her with the fishbowl sitting on the lounge between them. There were only three pieces of paper in the bowl but there was a tension in the air that made Clarke shift uncomfortably. Bellamy reached into the bowl and pulled out the first paper.
 
“Um… This one says more family time.” He paused awkwardly. “I put this one in the bowl. I want us to set more times aside to spend with the kids together as a family.”
 
“I think that’ll be good for all of us.” Clarke nodded slowly with a smile before fishing out a piece of paper. “I wrote this one. Family time.” She opened the piece of paper and showed Bellamy.
 
“Maybe this will be easier than we thought?” he shrugged and pulled out the last piece of paper.
 
“That’s because we haven’t been fighting.” She admitted with a small shrug.
 
“I think Madi did this one.” He chuckled handing her the paper which was covered in crayon marks.
 
“I think she’s agreeing on the family time.” She let out a quiet laugh.
 
A smile spread across Bellamy’s face as he watched her slowly, he reached over and brushed the hair out of her face. His fingers lingered on her cheek as his eyes danced over her face.
 
“I should get to bed.” Her voice came out as a whisper as she stared at him.
 
A long silence hung between them as Bellamy’s thumb gently stroked Clarke’s cheek. Clarke’s eyes danced over his face as she bit her lip slowly. The sound of the front door opening made Clarke jump back from him. Gina walked into the lounge room from the entryway with a smile. 
 
“Hey, how’d you guys go?” Gina smiled slowly as she put a grocery bag on the coffee table. 
 
“Yeah, good.” Clarke nodded slowly. “I should head to bed.” She got up slowly. 
 
“You’re welcome to join us, I picked up plenty of beer and desserts.” Gina gestured to the grocery bag. 
 
“I don’t want to intrude, you guys enjoy.” Clarke offered them both a smile before heading upstairs. 
 
 
—— —— —— —— ——
 
 
Clarke bent over in the car buckling Theo into his car seat after she packed up the car. Clarke couldn’t lie, she was excited for their trip away, it was going to be good to get away for a while. Everyone was coming except for Liam, Clarke invited him but he was going to be out of town for a show. Clarke couldn’t lie, she was disappointed that Liam couldn’t come but she didn’t want to let it ruin her weekend.
 
“Madi?” Clarke stood up straight and walked over to the porch where Madi was sitting. “Are you coming with Mommy or are you going to wait and go with Daddy?”
 
“Daddy.” Madi grinned loudly as Bellamy came out the front door with Minerva in his arms.
 
“Madi wants to go with you and Gina, I’ll take Mini and Theo.” Clarke gave Bellamy a small smile and took Minerva off him.
 
“We’ll see you there, I’ve got to do pick up Gina.” Bellamy reached down and picked up Madi, cuddling her close with a kiss to her head.
 
“Be careful.” Clarke watched him carefully as she bit her lip.
 
“You too, okay?” His eyes followed her as she walked back to her car to put Minerva in her car seat.
 
“I’ll see you there.” Clarke gave him another smile once Minerva was in her seat. “Bye baby, be good for Daddy.”
 
“Bye!” Madi grinned widely and waved at Clarke.

—— —— —— ——

Clarke pulled up to the lake house and just stared at the huge house in front of her. Everyone was already here and Clarke was the last one to arrive because she had to stop a few times with the babies. Clarke sighed loudly and ran her hand through her hair before looking through the rear view mirror at Minerva and Theo as they started to stir. 

“Clarke’s here!” Jasper shouted as he jumped down the front stairs of Lakehouse. 

Jasper’s voice seemed to have triggered everyone to pile out of the house. Octavia bypassed Clarke and got Theo out, cuddling him close. Raven tackled Clarke with a hug, pushing them both against the car. 

“I’m assuming you missed me?” Clarke laughed and hugged Raven.

“What took you so long? We’ve been here for two hours?” Raven pulled away and tightened her ponytail.

“I had to stop for the babies, they needed to be fed, changed and they were a little fussy,” Clarke spoke quietly as she smiled and got Minerva out of the back of the car.

“Gimme her.” Raven immediately grabbed Minerva and kissed her head.

“Can you two watch them and I’ll get the bags out.” Clarke stretched again before she started to unload the bags.

“This place is epic!” Jasper grinned widely as he started to help Clarke with the bags.

“Did everyone choose their rooms?” Clarke passed some of the bags to Murphy and Monty.

“Yeah, you’re in the room next to Bell and Gina,” Octavia spoke up as she kissed Theo’s head.

Octavia led Clarke into the house and upstairs to her room. Clarke sighed and put her bags down on the floor as Monty, Jasper and Murphy brought up the last of her bags.

“We’ve set Madi up in the room on the side of Bell’s room.” Octavia sat down on the bed still cuddling Theo as he started to doze off again. “This place must’ve cost a fortune.”

Yeah, it did. Clarke thought to herself but she wasn’t going to tell anyone how much it actually cost. Clarke honestly didn’t mind paying for it, she had the money for it and it was good to get away.

“It’s worth it, it’s beautiful and private.” Clarke smile as she looked around the room.

“Five days here is going to be a dream.” Raven smiled as she walked in with Minerva as the boys walked out.

“Lincoln and I picked up some meat for the grill tonight.” Octavia laid Theo on the bed and let the sleeping baby stretch out.

“Thank you for sorting out the food and drinks.” Clarke smiled and started to unpack her bags.

“Thank you for organizing this trip, this is the first time we’re all been able to go away together.” Octavia smiled.

----- ----- ---- ---- ---- ----

Later that night, Clarke outside with everyone after the kids had gone to bed. They lit the fire pit that was in the backyard and they all sat around it having a few drinks. Jasper had decided that it would be the best idea if they played truth or dare while they were drinking.

“Truth or dare…” Jasper paused as he looked around the group with a chuckle. “O!”

“Truth.” Octavia moved closer to Lincoln with a smile.

Each couple were sitting on cosy love seats around the fire pit while Clarke sat cross-legged on the grass leaning against Octavia and Lincoln’s love seat.

“If you got to have a threesome with people in this room, who would you do it with and why? Not including Lincoln.” Jasper barely got through the question without laughing.

“Umm… Clarke and Raven.” Octavia tone was dead serious but it didn’t last long before she burst out laughing with Clarke and Raven following in tow. “Murphy?”

“Dare.” Murphy half groaned as he took a sip of his drink.

“Give Bell a lap dance.” Octavia managed to get out through her fit of laughter.

Murphy stood up with a serious look on his face as he walked over to Bellamy who had thrown his head back laughing. Murphy shook his hips back and forth in front of Bellamy’s face.

“Wooo! Shake that ass!” Raven called out with a loud laugh.

Murphy dropped down onto Bellamy’s lap while shaking his hips and whipping his head around. Clarke burst out laughing at the wide-eyed expression on Bellamy’s face as Murphy continued to move. Murphy finally got up and strutted back to his seat with Raven.

“Take note, that’s how you do it!” Murphy laughed and pulled Raven close. “Clarke?”

“Truth,” Clarke smirked as she looked at Murphy across the fire pit as Raven whispered in his ear.

“Where’s the craziest place you’ve had sex?” Murphy smirked as he watched Clarke.

“It’s between two places. The stage at the bar and the under the bleachers at the football field at the high school.” Clarke blushed furiously as she looked down laughing nervously. “Harper?”

“Dare.” Harper grinned and leant forward excited.

“You have to sit shirtless for the rest of the game.” Clarke took a sip of her drink as Harper peeled off her shirt.

The game went on and got crazier, Murphy, Lincoln, Jasper, Harper and Raven all ended up in some stage of undressing. Gina had called it an early night but Bellamy stayed up. Everyone was getting drunker and drunker, including Clarke. As the night went on, the couples slowly disappeared into the house. Once Clarke thought everyone had gone to bed, she stripped off her clothes until she was left in her bikini. She walked into the water and sank down letting the water cover her.

“Clarke, you shouldn’t really be swimming alone.” Bellamy’s voice made Clarke jump.

Clarke turned around slowly to see Bellamy walking into the water towards her. Clarke smiled as she watched him come closer to her. The world was spinning and felt herself start sway but Bellamy’s arm wrapped around her waist to steady her.

“How much have you drank tonight princess?” His voice was low and husky.

The nickname didn’t bother her like it usually did but she found it comforting as she leant against Bellamy’s chest keeping herself steady.

“I haven’t drunk this much in a while,” Clarke mumbled as she looked up at him slowly.

“You’ve been a bit busy lately.” He smirked as his hand ran up and down her back.

Clarke kept looking up at him with a small smile. Bellamy sank down into the water more as he kept ahold of her. There was a comfortable silence as they both looked at each other. He brushed the hair out of her face but his hand stayed on her cheek as his thumb stroked her cheek gently.

She started to lean in closer, Bellamy started to do the same until their lips timidly met each other. He pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. His hands reached down to cup her ass and pick her up, letting her legs wrap around his waist. Her hands looped around his neck as their kiss became more passionate. His hand snaked up her back and started to tug at the strap of her bikini until it came free. He kissed down to her neck as his hands crept down to her bikini bottoms. She could feel how hard he was against her leg. His lips met hers again as his thumbs hooked into the sides of her bikini bottoms.

Stop Clarke, she told herself as her mind started to sober up. You can’t, he’s with Gina, he loves Gina. He’s drunk, you can’t let him make this mistake. Her hand moved to his chest as she pulled back.

“We can’t.” She managed to get out between laboured breaths.

She moved away from him and walked back into the shore as she did her bikini top up again. She picked up her clothes and walked back to the house quickly, covering her mouth. She found Octavia walking out of the bathroom, a frown spread over Octavia’s face as she watched her friend.

“Clarke, what’s wrong?” Octavia’s eyes danced over Clarke.

Guilt washed over Clarke as she felt Octavia’s eyes bare into her. Clarke quickly walked into her room but Octavia followed closely behind frowning deeply.

“Clarke? What happened?” Octavia’s voice gave away how panicked she was over how her friend was acting.

Clarke turned on her heels to face Octavia with tears in her eyes. A sob escaped her lips as she looked at Octavia.

“I fucked up.” Clarke sobbed before covering her face again.

Chapter Text

“Woah, Woah, Woah. Clarke, calm down.” Octavia frowned as she watched Clarke hyperventilate the whole time she told her what happened.

“I’m a horrible person, O.” Clarke sobbed as she pulled her knees to her chest as the sat on her bed.

“Clarke, calm down okay?” Octavia pulled Clarke into a tight hug. “You both are so drunk and you got caught up in the moment. People make mistakes.”

Octavia held onto Clarke tightly as Clarke sobbed into her chest. It didn’t take long for Clarke to fall asleep, still being held by Octavia. Deep down, Octavia hoped that both Clarke and Bellamy kept what happened to themselves. Neither of them needed to deal with the drama for a mistake they made while they were drunk. Especially considering how many people would be affected by the aftermath.

----- ---- ---- ---- ----

Waking up the next morning, Clarke’s head hurt mercilessly, it pounded like a jackhammer. She wanted to stay in bed permanently but the smell of food willed her out of bed. She peeled off the t-shirt she had slept in and threw on shorts and a t-shirt with a swimsuit on underneath. She crept downstairs slowly, a part of her panicking over what the aftermath of what happened last night would be. Guilt began eating away at her and her stomach ached painfully as she walked into the kitchen to find everyone surrounding the kitchen island eating while Gina continued to cook bacon and eggs. The guilt became worse as Gina smiled at her as she walked into the kitchen.

“Morning, you need greasy food asap.” Gina’s smile widened as she passed Clarke a plate of food.

“Morning, thanks.” Clarke’s voice was quiet as she took the plate and sat in the empty stool next to Octavia, who pushed a cup of coffee towards her.

“Bell and I were talking yesterday about taking Madi on a hike today if that’s okay with you?” Gina took the seat next to Clarke with her own plate of breakfast.

“Yeah, of course.” Clarke’s voice came out as a mumble and her head dropped. “I’ll be back.” She grabbed her coffee and slipped off her stool before heading outside, settled down on one of the seats, bringing her knees to her chest.

“Is she okay?” Gina frowned and looked at Octavia.

“Clarke tends to get like this when she’s hung over,” Octavia reassured quietly.

“I’ll be back.” Bellamy got up from his seat next Madi and walked outside to where Clarke was sitting. “You okay?”

“No,” Clarke mumbled quietly as she hugged her knees tighter.

“What’s going on?” Bellamy frowned worried and confused as he sat down.

Clarke watched him carefully before frowning as she came to the realisation that he didn’t remember what happened. She cursed the universe, of course, he didn’t remember and didn’t have to deal with the crushing guilt. She did, she had to deal with the guilt and the fact that she felt like a horrible person. A heavy sigh left her lips as she rested her cheek on her knees and watched Bellamy.

“Don’t worry.” She forced herself to give him a reassuring smile. “I’m just hungover and feeling like shit.”

“I’m here if you need to talk or anything.” He gave her an awkward smile and she just nodded slowly.

“Thanks.” She mumbled quietly before watching him get up and go back inside.

Octavia walked out holding Clarke’s breakfast, she put the plate on the table and settled down into a seat.

“You okay?” Octavia’s voice was quiet but full of worry as she watched her best friend.

“He doesn’t remember what happened,” Clarke spoke quietly as she sighed quietly.

“Maybe that’s a good thing, it was a mistake and you just need to move on from it.” Octavia shrugged slightly as she watched her friend. “I know you feel guilty but honestly, what Gina doesn’t know won’t hurt her. I know that sounds horrible but honestly, it’s the truth.”

Clarke let Octavia’s words sink in as she thought quietly before putting her knees down and sitting forward. In Clarke’s mind, she was pushing away the memories of what happened, she was pushing the memory to the place in her mind where she locked away things she didn’t want to remember. This place in her mind held memories like the night the police turned up at her house to tell her about Roan, walking in on Lexa and Costia, Bellamy telling her that he was using her and him telling her that he wanted her to get rid of the baby when she told him she was pregnant. The memories were still there but they wouldn’t pop into her mind anymore, it was a surprising technique she had picked up after Roan died because she was haunted by the night the police turned up at her house. The guilt was still there but when Clarke finally felt like the memory was successfully pushed far enough back in her mind she felt the majority of the guilt lift off her because she wasn’t dwelling on the memories.

“You’re right, O,” Clarke spoke quietly before reaching out and hugged Octavia. “Thank you for always being here for me.”

“We’re family, Clarkie, I’ll always be here for you.” Octavia squeezed Clarke before pulling away. “We’re going to go water skiing today, you joining us?”

“I can’t, I’ve got Mini and Theo today but you guys have fun.” Clarke smiled grabbing her coffee, taking a long sip.

“I can stay back with you and we can hang out?” Octavia suggested, the guilt obvious in her voice.

“No, you go have fun. I’m fine having a relaxing day with the babies.” Clarke smiled slowly and drank more coffee. “Plus, I have a killer hangover and I’m not feeling up to physical activity.”

“If you say so.” Octavia shrugged slowly.

----- ----- ----- -----

The guilt didn’t completely go away, it sat there in Clarke’s chest but she was able to ignore it. The next night, Clarke walked down to the backyard towards the fire pit where everyone was already sitting. A squeal erupted from her lips as arms wrapped around her waist. Clarke turned around quickly, the arms still around her waist, she found Liam holding her with a wide grin.

“Hey.” Clarke grinned widely as Liam brushed the hair out of her face. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to surprise you.” Liam grinned as his thumb stroked her cheek. “I had the guys drop me off on the way home from the show.”

Liam leant forward and kissed her gently to a chorus of woos from everyone around the fire pit. Liam pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss before pulling away.

“Sorry, I know that you want to take it slow but I’ve missed you and really wanted to do that.” He smirked as he stroked her cheek again.

“I liked that.” She blushed as a smile spread across her face. “I just don’t want us to get serious too fast, that’s why I wanted us to slow down.”

“Does that mean I still get to do this?” He kissed her again.

“Yes, you can still do that.” She smirked before pulling away. “Come on.” she led him down to the fire pit.

Liam sat down on the ground and spread his legs, letting Clarke sit between his legs and lean back against his chest. A giggle escaped her lips as he placed a gentle kiss on her cheek as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Who the fuck is this guy?” Murphy said abruptly which earned him an elbow to the ribs from Raven.

“I’m Liam, you must be Murphy.” Liam smiled slowly as he kept his arms around Clarke.

“You shacking up with Clarke?” Murphy raised his eyebrow slowly.

“Yeah, something like that.” Liam let a chuckle with a small smirk.

Clarke tried her best to avoid looking at Bellamy, she could feel herself tense up but relaxed when Liam’s arms tightened around her.

“What are your intentions with our Clarkie?” Jasper narrowed his eyes at Liam as everyone started to laugh.

“Jasper, no.” Clarke laughed as she shook her head.

“Answer the question.” Jasper pushed, trying to force a serious tone.

“Whatever Clarke wants my intentions to be.” Liam chuckled as Monty handed him a beer. “Anything you want babe,” Liam whispered in Clarke’s ear, his voice sent shivers down her spine. “So who exactly do we have here?”

“Raven and Octavia you know. That’s Murphy next to Raven and Lincoln next to Octavia. Then we have Jasper, Maya, Monty, Harper, Gina and Bellamy.” Clarke pointed out everyone and they all gave Liam a smile with a small wave, Bellamy waved but barely smiled.

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Clarke giggled as Liam picked her up in the water, everyone was inside watching a movie but Liam insisted that they go swimming. He pulled her closer and kissed her timidly before pulling away slightly.

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” Liam whispered as he laced his fingers into her hair.

Clarke leant forward and kissed him slowly as ran her hands down his back. His hands moved down to her hips and lifted her up, guiding her legs to wrap around his waist. He smiled against her lips before kissing down her neck.

“Clarke?!” Bellamy’s voice echoed from the porch of the house.

“There’s probably something wrong with the kids.” Clarke pulled away panting slightly.

“Okay, I’ll meet you up in the bedroom.” Liam gave her another gentle kiss before letting her go.

Clarke walked into the shore, grabbing her towel before walking up to the house to find Bellamy rocking Theo as he cried hysterically.

“Hey sorry, I know it’s my night with the kids but he just won't settle.” Bellamy’s voice sounded defeated as he tried to soothe Theo. “He’s had a bottle.”

“Come to Mommy baby.” She took Theo kissing his head. “I’ll get him to sleep, he’s so tired.” She kissed the baby’s head again as his cries became whimpers.

“Maybe he’s just wanted, Mommy.” Bellamy let out a small chuckle. “Mommy’s boy.”

“Hey leave my baby alone.” She whispered, kissing Theo’s head gently as he succumbed to sleep. “You want to put him in bed?”

“Yeah, thank you.” Bellamy took Theo off Clarke gently. “You… ah… have a good night.” He spoke awkwardly as Liam walked up to Clarke, putting his hand on her lower back.

“I’ll introduce you to the kids in the morning,” Clarke spoke quietly as Bellamy went inside with Theo. “Come on.” a smirk played on her lips as she led Liam upstairs to the bedroom.

Clarke smirked as she kissed Liam and closed to the bedroom door. She hooked her fingers into the waistband of Liam’s swimming shorts as he placed both of his hands on the side of her head, lacing his fingers into her hair. She backed up to the bed pulling him along with her before laying back on the bed, pulling him on top of her.

“We don’t have to.” Liam’s voice came out as a huffed whisper as he hovered his body over hers.

“I want to.” She assured in a whisper before kissing him again slowly.

Liam’s hands travelled down her body to her hips and tugged at the side ties of her bikini bottom. A smirk played on his lips as he pulled her bikini bottoms free from her and tugged her bikini top off quickly. He sat back on his knees and took in the sight of her laying in front of him. He tugged his shorts off and slipped on a condom before kissing up her body gently before reaching her lips. A moan escaped Clarke’s lips as she kissed him passionately, his arms wrapped around her and pulled her closer. Clarke’s moan grew louder as he rubbed against her entrance.

“Are you sure?” he asked as he stroked her cheek with his thumb as he watched her carefully.

“Yeah.” Her voice came out as a whimper as she kissed him gently.

When he pushed into her, she gasped against his lips and dug her nails into his back causing a half moan, half groan to leave his lips. He pulled back from the kiss slowly and watched her carefully.

“Are you okay?” His voice came out as a whisper and his thumb stroked her cheek.

“Yeah.” She moved her hips against him, making her moan again.

Liam started to move slowly as he held her close, her leg moved to hook behind him, letting him go deeper with each thrust. Clarke’s nails raked down his back as his pace picked up. She honestly hadn’t felt like this in a long time and she could feel herself getting lost in the feeling of herself building up. She pressed a kiss to the curve of his neck as his pace picked up sending her over the edge. Clarke groaned burying her head into the curve of his neck to muffle the sound of her crying out. She tightened around him causing him to pick up the pace before he came undone inside her. He panted loudly into the curve of her neck as he held her close.

After a few minutes, Liam rolled off her and pulled her close, kissing her gently. Clarke felt herself start to drift off as Liam held her close.

Chapter Text

Clarke woke up as the light streamed into the room, she felt arms squeeze her and she shifted uncomfortably before slipping out of Liam’s arms. She grabbed her dressing gown and covered her naked form as she sat on the edge of the bed. She looked back at Liam’s sleeping form before looking away, a feeling of regret filling her. She got up slowly pulling the dressing gown tighter around her as she grabbed a change of clothes before disappearing into the bathroom.

After a few minutes, Clarke walked downstairs to find Octavia and Raven sitting outside having breakfast. Clarke grabbed herself a mug of coffee before heading outside. She plopped down on the seat next to Octavia.

“You had fun last night,” Raven smirked with a small laugh as she picked up her coffee.

“I wish I didn’t,” Clarke mumbled before taking a long sip of her coffee.

“Hey what’s wrong?” Raven frowned worriedly.

“I just wasn’t ready and it just didn’t feel right,” Clarke mumbled with a defeated sigh. “I wanted to take things slow but then I went and slept with him. Why am I such an idiot?” a groan left her lips before she buried her head in her hands.

“You were horny.” Raven shrugged slowly. “If you don’t want to do it again just don’t. You’re not ready and that’s completely fine.” She got up and gave Clarke a hug. “We’ve all done things we regret.”

“Please tell me you used protection. It’s like a guy breathes on you, Clarke and you get pregnant.” Octavia groaned slightly.

Raven and Clarke looked at each other and burst out laughing, it took a few moments for Octavia to join in.

“With Madi, yeah but for Theo, it took a lot,” Clarke spoke through her fit of laughter. “Like a lot of sex.” She calmed down from her laughing fit. “When we conceived Theo we were having a lot of sex, like twice a day.”

“Shit Clarke, no wonder you got knocked up.” Raven laughed as she sat down slowly.

“Fuck, like I knew you two were rabbits but I didn’t think that much.” Octavia shook her head slowly with a smirk.

“So what’s the full plan for the 4th?” Raven leant forward, rubbing her hands together.

“Fireworks, definitely.” Clarke crossed her legs on her seat and picked a piece of fruit off Octavia’s plate. “I want to get some family photos, all of us with the kids. You’re going to die of the outfits Bell and I got for the kids. Mini and Madi have matching outfits.”

“What are we talking about?” Murphy walked out with a grin and took the seat next to Raven.

“The plans for tomorrow,” Octavia answered as Lincoln came out and sat down.

“Clarke, you need to make your brisket.” Murphy smiled happily as he watched Clarke.

“And your watermelon and blue cheese salad.” Lincoln stole Octavia’s coffee and took a sip.

Bellamy and Gina walked up the ramp to the porch while pushing the pram with Minerva and Theo in it while Madi held Gina’s hand. Bellamy and Gina sat down slowly getting the babies out of the pram. Madi ran to Clarke’s side with a grin as she jumped up and down excited.

“Bake cake with Gina,” Madi announced with a grin.

“Are you making a cake for tomorrow?” Clarke smiled slowly as she pulled Madi onto her lap.

“Yeah!” Madi wriggled on Clarke’s lap.

“Is daddy going to help you and Gina bake the cake?” Clarke brushed Madi’s hair out of her face.

“No, daddy can’t bake.” Madi laughed as she covered her mouth.

“Do you want to help Mommy cook later?” Clarke smiled and stroked Madi’s hair.

“I don’t know,” Madi mumbled and looked down. “Gina help?”

“Gina can help if she wants to,” Clarke assured as she watched her daughter carefully.

“Maybe,” Madi mumbled slowly and started to get off Clarke’s lap.

“Can Mommy have a hug please?” Clarke held her arms out for a hug.

“Love you, mommy.” Madi hugged Clarke and buried her head into Clarke’s chest.

“I love you too baby,” Clarke spoke quietly as she hugged Madi, kissing the top of her head.

“Can I go play?” Madi asked quietly as she pulled back from the hug.

“Go play.” Clarke smiled and helped Madi off her lap before Madi ran off the porch to go play in the grass.

“So Gina and Madi are baking a cake, Clarke’s making her brisket and her blue cheese salad. We should make potato salad and maybe something like burgers?” Octavia spoke up as she made a list on her phone.

“We can just make up some side dishes as well,” Clarke suggested as she ran her hand through her hair.

They all started to talk amongst themselves about what side dishes to make as Liam walked out slowly running a hand through his hair with a smirk. He strolled over to Clarke and pressed a kiss to her lips.

“I’m going for a run, will breakfast be ready when I get back?” Liam raised his eyebrow at Clarke.

“I’m going to the store with the girls, there’s some cereal in the kitchen,” Clarke spoke quietly feeling uncomfortable.

“Fine.” Liam’s voice gave away how annoyed he was. “I’ll see you when I get back.” He kissed her cheek and it sent an uncomfortable shiver down her spine, making her tense up.

Everyone’s eyes followed Liam as he ran off into the woods that surrounded the lake house. Murphy and Bellamy’s face seemed to mirror each other, they both looked completely pissed.

“I don’t fucking like him,” Murphy spoke up as he crossed his arms across his chest.

“You and me both,” Bellamy grumbled as held Minerva closer.

“He can’t fucking talk to you like that.” Octavia’s frown deepened as she looked at Clarke.

“Do you guys want to get the fireworks while we got get the food for tomorrow?” Clarke mumbled and stood up.

“Clarke, you can’t let him treat you like that,” Raven spoke up with a frown.

“I’m telling to leave when we get back,” Clarke assured as looked down almost ashamed.

------ ------ ------ ------

Clarke sat on the couch with Bellamy after feeding Minerva and Theo while Gina and Madi were decorating the cake they made. Clarke smiled as she held Theo in front of her.

“Theo, do you love Momma or Dadda?” Clarke smiled as Bellamy leant in to smile at The baby, Theo reached towards Clarke more so she cuddled him close to her chest. “You love Momma? Mommy loves you, little man.” She kissed the top of Theo’s head.

“Momma’s boy.” Bellamy chuckled as he held Minerva out. “Mini, do you want Dadda or Momma?” he grinned at the baby but mocked being offended when Minerva reached towards Clarke.

“They change their minds quickly.” Clarke laughed as Theo started to reach for Bellamy. “They love their Daddy but Mommy has the milk.”

Bellamy laughed and swapped babies with Clarke, Theo let out a squeal when he realised he was in Bellamy’s arms.

“See he wants his Daddy.” Clarke laughed as she watched Bellamy with Theo.

“Clarke.” Liam’s voice behind her startled her. “Let’s go upstairs.” His voice softened but it didn’t ease Clarke’s nerves.

“I’ll be back,” Clarke spoke quietly to Bellamy as she passed Minerva to him.

Clarke walked upstairs with Liam close behind her. Liam wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and kissed her neck gently. Clarke moved away from his touch which left him confused.

“No.” Clarke shook her head. “I thought I was ready for this but I’m not.” She stepped back until her back was against the chest of draws.

“You were ready last night.” Liam frowned as he watched her, crossing his arms.

“I wasn’t, I thought I was but I was wrong.” Clarke’s voice dropped as she watched him carefully.

“It’s because of him, isn’t it?” he pointed downstairs.

“No, it’s not because of him.” she sighed and ran her hand through her hair.

“I don’t understand why he’s even here? From what you said about what he’s done he’s a fucking asshole.” His voice became more aggravated the more he spoke.

“This is a family trip, he’s my kids’ dad.” She watched him carefully. “It doesn’t matter what’s happened in the past, our kids are our priority.”

“So you’re replacing Roan with douche bag downstairs?” He pointed downstairs again.

“Leave Roan out of this.” She shook her head getting frustrated by him.

“Roan would be ashamed to see his son raised by that douche bag. He wouldn’t want that Bellamy anywhere near his son.” He snapped loudly. “Or want his son calling Bellamy dad.”

“You don’t know anything about Roan or what he would feel.” Anger was boiling up inside her. “How dare you assume that you’d know what Roan would want? You know nothing about Roan or our relationship.” Her voice was steady but had a deadly tone to it. “I want you to leave.” She crossed her arms slowly. “Now.”

“Whatever.” Liam shook his head and grabbed his bag. “So it’s my fault that can’t make up your mind if you’re ready or not despite the fact that you let me fuck you last night?”

“Leave.” Clarke crossed her arms as she watched him storm out, slamming the front door of the lake house.

Clarke walked downstairs and plop back down on the couch with a loud sigh. Madi immediately climbed up on the couch and hugged Clarke.

“You okay?” Madi looked up at her mother carefully.

“Yeah baby, I’m okay.” Clarke kissed her head gently and gave her a tight hug. “Did you finish decorating the cake?” Clarke asked quietly after a few moments of hugging Madi.

“Not yet.” Madi frowned slightly but went back to hugging Clarke.

The front door opened again and Liam stormed back in, he made a beeline to Clarke.

“Baby, go into the kitchen with Gina, okay?” Clarke whispered to Madi and she did exactly what Clarke said to.

“I wasted my time with you.” Liam snapped as soon as Clarke stood up after Madi left.

“Leave.” Clarke crossed her arms as she watched him.

“I should’ve known better to get involved with you after all the stuff Abby has told me about you.” He shook his head and pointed at her. “You’re as fucking thick as Abby said you were.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Bellamy snapped as he storming out of the kitchen.

“Abby regrets not calling the cops on your fucking ass.” Liam pointed at Bellamy. “Maybe Clarke wouldn’t be as fucked up as she is if Abby had of gotten your ass locked up.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” A deep frown set into Clarke’s brow as she watched Liam.

“Does statutory rape ring a bell?” Liam crossed his arms before turning to Bellamy. “You ruined Clarke future, Abby was fucking right about you.” Liam narrowed his eyes at Bellamy.

Bellamy started to lunge towards Liam but Lincoln caught him as he ran in from the back porch. Murphy slipped past Lincoln and Bellamy to stand in front Liam.

“Get out.” Murphy nodded his head towards the front door. “Now.”

“What are you going to do?” Liam laughed and pushed Murphy back but he barely moved.

“Touch me again and I’ll end you.” Murphy narrowed his eyes as he stepped forward which made Liam step back. “In a non-criminal way.” Murphy clarified as he continued to step forward making Liam step back.

“Nice fucking you Clarke,” Liam smirked before walking out, slamming the door again.

The was an eerie silence that fell over the house for a few moments until it was broken by Madi’s cries and Bellamy starting to struggle against Bellamy again. Gina started to comfort Madi with the help of Octavia and Raven. Bellamy started to calm down after a few minutes and he started to walk over to Clarke.

“Clarke…” Bellamy started to put his hand on Clarke’s arm but she flinched away from him.

"I want my Mommy!" Madi's voice echoed from the kitchen.

Clarke walked into the kitchen and picked up Madi holding her close as the little girl clung to her, crying into her mother’s chest.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Clarke whispered and kissed the top Madi’s head, holding her close. “Mommy’s sorry.” She whispered as tears stung her eyes.

Chapter Text

Clarke sat on the edge of the dock on the lake with her feet in the water, the sun was setting and she was still processing everything. Her mind raced over everything that happened and she couldn’t stop wondering about what Bellamy was hiding. She was able to keep her mind occupied earlier by getting as much of the food ready for tomorrow as she could and keeping her focus on the kids but Octavia and Raven told her to stop and take time for herself. Honestly, Clarke was kind of thankful for it, she needed to take some time to think about everything that happened.

“Can we talk?” Bellamy’s voice was quiet, his tone made her look at him. She hadn’t heard him use this tone since the night she drove him home from the bar when he got drunk after he got into a fight with Echo.

“Yeah.” Clarke moved over to let him sit next to her. “What was Liam talking about?”

“There’s something I’ve needed to tell you, I should’ve told you this earlier.” He sighed heavily as he looked down ashamed.

“No secrets, Bell.” She looked at him slowly. “We can’t make this work if there are secrets between us.” Her voice broke as she looked down.

“Remember after Thanksgiving dinner when I drove you home to pick up some of your stuff?” His voice was defeated and quiet as he spoke.

“Yeah.” She nodded slowly.

“Something happened when you went inside to get your stuff.” He mumbled.

------ ------ ------ ------ ------- ------

The drive was quiet and Bellamy just held onto her hand the whole trip. He smirked as he kissed it gently before giving it a squeeze as he drove. He pulled up to the house and Clarke pounced on him giving him a long lustful kiss.

“Go get your stuff.” He smiled as they broke apart. “I love you.” He smiled genuinely as she opened the truck door.

“I love you too.” Clarke smiled and closed the truck door before disappearing into the big house she grew up in.

Bellamy got his phone out and started to scroll through his photos smiling at the photos he had of Clarke. A knock on his truck window made him jump and he turned his head to see the one person he really didn’t want to see. Abigail Griffin.

Abby Griffin was a real piece of work. She was strict and completely focused on herself, ignoring Clarke the majority of the time. She wasn’t fond of the Blakes, mainly because Aurora had her kids so young, having Bellamy at 17 and Octavia at 20. Abby didn’t think Aurora was the best influence on Clarke but Jake Griffin loved the Blakes and encouraged Clarke’s friendship with Octavia. Jake was definitely more down to earth than his wife.

Bellamy rolled down his window and looked at Abby with an almost amused face. What the hell does she want? Bellamy groaned silently.

“Whatever is happening between you and my daughter ends now, do you understand?” Abby spoke through her teeth as she glared at Bellamy, hatred stirring up in her eyes.

“With all due respect Mrs Griffin, I love your daughter and I’m not going to break up with her just because you don’t want me dating her.” Bellamy raised his eyebrows at her.

Go fuck yourself, Bellamy wished he could say but knew that would just stir up a bucket of shit with Abby.

“You end and end now or I’ll be going to the police station and pressing statutory rape charges against you.” Her voice sent shivers down his spine.

Fuck, he didn’t even think about that, a painful ache spread throughout his chest.

“Your future will be ruined, I’ll make sure you and your mother never have a job again,” Abby spoke seriously as she narrowed her eyes at Bellamy. “End it.” She said again before turning on her heels and walked back inside.

------ ------ ------ ------ ------

“So my mother was the reason you broke up with me?” Clarke’s voice broke as she looked at Bellamy.

“She was going to press charges against me, I wouldn’t be able to get work. I’d be a sex offender.” Bellamy looked at Clarke with tears in his eyes. “Abby was going to get my mom fired. I didn’t lie when I told you I loved you, Clarke. It was true then and it’s true now.”

“She was going to ruin your lives.” Clarke finished and looked down.

“That’s why I said all of those things.” He sighed and looked down. “I wanted you to hate me, I thought it would be easier if you did.” His tears started to well up more. “I was going to break up with Echo when I got back to campus, she was pregnant.” His head hung low. “I didn’t want to do it over the phone but when I got back to campus she told me she lost the baby and that it was my fault.”

“Is that why you freaked out when I told you I was pregnant with Madi?” Clarke looked at him carefully.

“I didn’t want you to go through having a miscarriage, I didn’t want you to go through that pain.” He sighed and wiped his tears away. “I didn’t want to ruin your life but I did.”

“Having Madi didn’t ruin my life, she is one the best things to happen to me.” She looked at him. “I don’t regret having her or you being her father for one second.”

They both looked out across the water at the sunset, tears stinging both of their eyes as a silence hung over them. It was almost like a weight had been lifted off them.

“I’m sorry, Clarke.” His voice broke as he spoke, his head started to hang low again, ashamed.

“At least I know now.” She turned to him slowly. “We can work through this. No secrets?”

“No secrets.” He agreed as he turned to her. “Gina left, she got her mom to pick her up. She broke up with me, she said that I have a lot of shit that I need to work on and she wants to be friends.”

“How are you feeling about that?” She watched him as she brushed her hair behind her ear.

“I think it’s for the best.” He pulled his knee up as turned to face her completely. “I started dating too soon, I was afraid to be alone.” He admitted with a sigh. “I still have a lot of stuff I need to deal with after all the stuff with Echo.”

“Maybe you should get some help like you did when you first broke up with Echo.” She suggested quietly. “I know that I need to get some help, dealing with losing Roan and having Theo, I haven’t been dealing with it all properly and it’s making me feel isolated from everything.” She mumbled looking down. “I have a letter from Roan that I carry around with me that I haven’t been able to bring myself to open.”

“Shit Clarke, I didn’t know you were feeling like this.” He sat forward worried. “I’m sorry I should’ve known you were feeling like this.”

“I was good at hiding it.” She shrugged slowly. “We both need to get help, Bell.”

“We’ll make appointments when we get home.” He nodded agreeing. “I’m here, Clarke if you need me. I know I haven’t been supportive or helpful but I’m going to change.”

“Together.” She spoke quietly.

“Together.” He agreed quietly.

“Mommy!” Madi squealed as she ran from the back porch down to them.

Clarke smiled opening her arms to Madi before the little girl ran into them with a loud giggle.

“Hi, baby.” Clarke smiled kissing Madi’s head.

“Dinner is ready.” Madi smiled slowly as she pulled away from Clarke.

“Thank you, baby.” Clarke smiled and got up slowly with Bellamy.

“Can Daddy get a hug?” Bellamy smiled holding his arms out to Madi, she nodded and let Bellamy pick her up.

“Let's go!” Madi giggled and pointed towards the house.

Chapter Text

Clarke visibly relaxed as they sat around the fire pit, she was sitting on the chair with Bellamy since the spot was vacated by Gina when she left. Bellamy was more relaxed as well but they were the only ones not drinking. The others were getting considerably drunk as they played truth or dare again.

“Monty?” Octavia laughed before taking a long sip.

“Truth.” Monty shifted nervously.

“What is your deepest darkest secret?” Octavia tone was ominous as she watched him with a devilish smirk.

“I lost my virginity to Harper,” Monty mumbled as his cheeks burned bright red. “Murphy?”

“Truth,” Murphy mumbled taking a sip of his beer.

“Who was your first?” Monty smirked as he watched his friend.

“Roma,” Murphy answered easily.

“What?” Bellamy’s jaw dropped mainly for the fact that he used to sleep with Roma.

Everyone burst out laughing, including Clarke who bumped shoulders with him while laughing.

“Clarke?” Murphy spoke once the laughter died down.

“Truth,” Clarke spoke up as she stretched out over the chair, putting her feet on Bellamy’s lap, who shot her a look before chuckling and shaking his head.

“Since we’re on the topic of virginity, where did you lose your virginity?” Murphy mumbled throwing his arm around Raven’s shoulders.

“Umm…” Clarke gave Bellamy a look as she ran her hand through her hair. “The living room in Aurora’s house, on the couch.”

“Wait a second… You lost it to Bellamy?” Murphy sat forward intrigued by this development.

“Yeah.” Clarke shrugged with a laugh.

“You two are disgusting!” Octavia threw a blanket at Clarke and Bellamy but he just caught it. "I sit on that couch!"

“At least we didn’t tell them that’s where we conceived Madi,” Bellamy whispered in Clarke’s ear which made her laugh.

“O?” Clarke spoke up and nudge Bellamy to keep quiet.

“Dare.” Octavia rolled her eyes and took a long sip.

“I’m going to give you two options, either name which one of my kids is favourite or kiss Murphy,” Clarke smirked knowing that Octavia would hate either option.

“I fucking hate you.” Octavia narrowed her eyes at Clarke.

Octavia got up and walked over to Murphy, she grimaced before giving Murphy the tiniest peck. She stomped back to her seat and threw herself back onto the seat with a grumble while everyone laughed including Lincoln, who wrapped an arm around her, kissing the top of her head.

“Clarke?” Octavia narrowed her eyes at Clarke, letting her know she was going to get revenge.

“Dare.” Clarke challenged raising her eyebrow.

“I’m going to give you two options,” Octavia mocked. “Either name your favourite child or kiss Bell.”

“Screw you, O.” Clarke laughed, shaking her head before turning to Bell. “Sorry.” She mumbled before giving Bellamy a soft, timid kiss.

“Get some tongue in there!” Jasper shouted before Clarke could pull away.

Clarke pulled away and settled back into her seat quietly. Chatter broke out again before Clarke could make take her turn.

“Mommy?” Madi’s voice broke through the chatter, making Clarke and Bellamy turn around.

“Come here baby, what’s wrong?” Clarke gestured for Madi to come over. "Did we wake you up?"

Madi walked over holding her stuffed dragon close to her chest, Bellamy picked her and sat her between him and Clarke. The little girl cuddled up to her mother’s side as Clarke wrapped her arm around her.

“Do you want to stay out here with Mommy and Daddy?” Clarke spoke quietly and when Madi nodded, she pulled her daughter closer.

“Aww does the little baby want her mommy?” Murphy smirked, teasing Madi was a part of their relationship, they both picked on each other.

“Shut up Doodoo!” Madi snapped loudly with a deep frown on her face.

“Yeah, you tell him Madz,” Raven called out and blew Madi a kiss.

“Love you birdie,” Madi mumbled with a yawn.

“Love you too Madz.” Raven smiled slowly.

The sound of a baby crying over the monitor made Clarke start to move immediately but Bellamy stopped her.

“You stay, I’ve got them,” Bellamy spoke quickly before quickly walking up to the house.

Madi yawned and started to doze off again while Clarke held her.

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Clarke woke up with a smile on her face as Madi crawled into bed with her the next morning, the little girl smiled and hugged her mother tightly.

“Morning baby girl.” Clarke smiled and kissed Madi’s cheek.

“Morning,” Madi mumbled, burying her face into Clarke’s chest.

Clarke held Madi close as the little girl started to wake up more. Clarke ran her hand up and down Madi’s back letting her take her time to wake up.

“Should we get Mini and Theo to come with us to wake up daddy?” Clarke asked quietly with a smile.

“Yeah!” Madi practically jumped up.

Clarke got up and walked over to the portable crib, picking up both babies. She kissed each of their heads before walking with them to Bellamy’s room. Madi jumped onto the bed and then jumped onto Bellamy with a loud giggle.

“Ahh! You’re crushing daddy!” Bellamy chuckled pulling Madi into a tight hug.

Theo and Minerva started to squeal with happiness as Clarke sat down next to Bellamy on the bed.

“Say Hi to daddy.” Clarke smiled as she sat Theo and Minerva up on the bed.

“Hi, babies.” Bellamy smiled slowly.

Clarke relaxed back against the pillows as Bellamy sat up, settling Madi on his lap with a smile. Clarke pulled Minerva and Theo into her lap to start breastfeeding them at the same time to save time.

"Mini and Eo are eating." Madi looked at Bellamy like she was telling him something important.

"I know, Mommy milk makes Mini and Eo grow strong. Soon they'll be able to run around with you." Bellamy smiled brushing Madi's messy bed hair out of her face. "Are you excited for that?"

"Yeah cause Mini and Eo will play with me and we'll go to the park and go swimming and get a puppy dog." Madi started to bounce excited making Bellamy chuckle loudly.

"You want a puppy dog?" He smiled as he watched his daughter's eyes light up.

"I want a puppy dog." Madi nodded and started to bounce again.

"You hear that Mommy? Madi wants a puppy dog." he looked at Clarke with a raised eyebrow.

"Maybe Madi will get one for her birthday." Clarke grinned at Madi before looking at Bellamy. "We should have a look when we get home." She let out a hiss in pain.

"You okay?" Bellamy frowned as he watched her.

"Yeah, I think I'm getting an infection, I had it a few times after Madi was born." Clarke sighed closing her eyes.

"Maybe you should go see Nyko when we get back." The frown was still set heavily in place.

"I've got an appointment already." She opened her eyes and looked down at the babies, stroking their hair gently. "Are you ready for the fourth baby girl?" she turned her attention to Madi.

"Yeah!" Madi let out a joyful giggle making both Bellamy and Clarke smile.

------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------

A smile crept onto Clarke’s face as Bellamy went to open the front door after the doorbell rang. Clarke was in the kitchen with Lincoln and Raven getting the last things ready for Lincoln and Bellamy to head out to the grill.

“Mom? What are you doing here?” Bellamy’s voice echoed throughout the house before their footsteps echoed as they walked into the kitchen.

Bellamy, Aurora and Tybe walked into the kitchen, the happiness was clear on Bellamy’s face.

“I wanted to surprise you and O.” Clarke smiled and walked over to them. “It’s Mini and Theo’s first 4th of July, they had to be here too.”

“Thank you.” Bellamy grinned widely. “Mini and Theo are having a nap but they’ll be awake soon.”

“Bell, the meat is ready for the grill.” Lincoln smiled as he walked over carrying a plate of meat.

“I’ll be back.” Bellamy smiled and kissed his mother’s cheek.

“O’s outside with Madi.” Clarke smiled at Aurora.

“Let me get a hug.” Aurora smiled slowly and held her arms out to Clarke. “I haven’t seen you in almost a month.”

“It’s so good to see you.” Clarke hugged Aurora tightly. “I’m sorry, everything has been a bit crazy.”

“I know,” Aurora whispered, holding Clarke tightly. “How have you been really?” Aurora pulled away slightly to look at Clarke. “I’ve been worried about you.”

A part of Clarke knew that Aurora was seeing through the walls she had been putting up. Maybe it was because Aurora was a mother as well or maybe it was because Aurora was practically Clarke’s mother.

“I’m okay.” Clarke nodded, trying to reassure the older woman.

“Come with me.” Aurora led Clarke into the entryway, away from everyone else. “I worried about you, Clarke. I’m worried because I’ve been where you are. After I had O, I felt isolated from everyone else, like there was a wall between me and everyone else. It didn’t change the way I felt about O but it changed the way I felt about myself and everything around me. It felt like I was drowning while I was having some of the best moments of my life.”

Clarke felt the tears sting her eyes, she didn’t know that this was a common thing or that Aurora had experienced it. She had felt so alone in this feeling but now she didn’t feel so alone. Aurora wrapped her arms around Clarke as her tears started to spill.

“It’s okay,” Aurora whispered as she rubbed Clarke’s back for a long time until Clarke pulled away wiping her eyes. “Have you seen someone to get help?”

“I’m seeing Nyko when I get back, I’m going to talk to him about it.” Clarke nodded as she took deep breaths to calm down.

“I want you to call me if you need anything okay? It doesn’t matter if you need to talk or if you want me to take the kids for a little while if you need a break. I’m here for you Clarke.” Aurora gave her a quick hug.

“Thank you,” Clarke whispered quietly. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Clarke, you’re my daughter and a part of this family no matter what.” Aurora kissed Clarke’s cheek.

“You better go see O and Madi, they’ll be so excited to see you.” Clarke gave Aurora a small smile.

“Are you going to be okay?” Aurora asked quietly.

“Yeah, I need to talk to Tybe about some business then get your room ready for tonight,” Clarke assured before walking back to the kitchen with Aurora.

“Clarke, I needed to discuss some bookings with you quickly,” Tybe spoke quietly as he kissed Clarke’s cheek with a quick hug.

“No problem.” Clarke smiled before grabbing two beers, she passed one to Tybe as she led him into the dining room of the lake house and sat down.

“I had a call from Marcus Kane, he wants to book his son’s band, Dusk, we’ve had them a fair few times. We’ve just done normal bookings for them before but this time they want to do 6 contracted shows. The contract is pretty much 6 guaranteed shows with an 85% profit from the tickets.” Tybe took a long sip of his beer.

They usually gave their normal band bookings 70% of the profits from the tickets, the other 30% was used for insurance, equipment hire if they needed anything else for the night and extra security.

“No.” Clarke shook her head and took a sip of her beer. “We’re not booking them again; I want to give their spot to that band Preacher that came in last month to ask about playing. Offer them the standard booking agreement for a show towards the end of summer.” She took another long sip. “Tell them to advertise straight away, if they sell 75% of the tickets first show, we’ll book them again.”

“Sounds good, I’ll get on that when I get back in office.” He nodded slowly and typed the details into his phone.

“Enough business, this is family time.” She smiled before getting up slowly.

“How’s Theo?” He spoke quietly with a soft tone.

“Looking more and more like Roan every day. He’s a very happy and healthy baby.” She smiled slowly.

“Roan would be proud of you, Clarke. You’ve been so strong through all of this.” His voice was quiet; it was the volume he used when he was talking about Roan.

Clarke hugged Tybe tightly, she didn’t even know how to thank him for saying that, she needed to hear that.

“Thank you.” She whispered as she pulled away slowly.

“Can I ask you something?” His voice had it’s usual gravely tone to it as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Of course.” She nodded slowly.

“Would I be able to get a few things of Roan’s? I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while but I didn’t know the right time.” He dropped his head slowly and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Of course, I’m sorry I should’ve offered you it sooner.” She dropped her head slowly, she felt so selfish, she hadn’t even thought about it at all.

“No, no, no don’t apologise.” He put his hands on her arms. “I wanted to give you time and I didn’t mind waiting.” He gave her another hug.

“Come over to the house whenever you want. I haven’t gotten rid of anything.” She pulled away slowly.

“Can I ask you something?” He spoke even quieter than before and she nodded slowly. “Have you found a letter written by Roan?”

“Yeah.” She nodded slowly hugging herself.

“Have you read it yet?” he asked but she shook her head. “Read it.”

Chapter Text

Clarke walked out into the backyard with a smile as she watched Madi and Octavia run around the yard. Aurora and Tybe were sitting on a blanket with Minerva and Theo. She walked over to Bellamy and Lincoln at the grill.

“Where are my mom and Tybe going to sleep tonight?” Bellamy asked as he stepped back from the grill.

“Madi’s room, Madi can sleep with me.” Clarke stretched before leaning against the railing of the porch.

“I’ll take Mini and Theo tonight if you want. Have you pumped?” He watched her carefully.

“I have some pumped but not enough for today and tonight. I’ll need to pump again.” Clarke sighed, she was dreading pumping and breastfeeding because it made the pain worse.

“Is there anything you can do for the pain?” his voice was quiet but she shook her head.

“I might just breastfeed them to see if that helps, I don’t know.” She sighed defeated and ran her hand through her hair.

“Ask my mom about it. She might know what to do.” He suggested and looked back at his Mother.

“You’re right.” She nodded slowly as the cries of the babies floated through the air.

Clarke walked over to the blanket as Tybe and Aurora got up holding the babies. Tybe passed Theo to Clarke with a small nod. Aurora followed Clarke inside to the lounge room, Clarke sat down and started to feed both babies with a wince.

“Are you okay?” Aurora watched Clarke carefully.

“The last couple of days, it hurts to feed them and to pump. Honestly its just a constant pain.” Clarke sighed trying to ignore the pain. “I think it’s an infection.”

“Mastitis, it happens when some of your milk ducts get clogged. It hurts to feed and pump but helps. Make sure you tell Nyko, he’ll give you antibiotics, it’ll clear up in a few days after that.” Aurora smiled slowly. “Just make sure you empty out your supply often, it’ll help and hot showers help too.”

“Thank you.” Clarke smiled slowly.

After Clarke finished feeding the babies, they walked outside again and Tybe took Theo happily. Harper walked over to Clarke slowly with a smile.

“Madz is eating candy again.” Harper smiled with a small laugh.

“Jasper probably gave it to her.” Clarke shook her head slowly and watched Madi run up to them with a bag of gummy bears as she giggled. “Girl, no more candy, we’re about the have lunch.” She took the bag of candy off Madi before turning to Jasper who was sitting on the stairs that led to the porch. “Jasper, don’t give her any more candy.”

“Sorry, Mom!” Jasper grinned making Madi giggle.

“He called you Mom.” Madi giggled and ran over to Jasper, hugging him.

“Thank you for inviting me, it’s awesome staying here.” Harper smiled slowly.

“You’re apart of the family, Harper.” Clarke smiled before giving Harper a hug. “How’s everything been going?”

“Good,” Harper nodded slowly a smile. “I’m pregnant.”

“What?” Clarke turned to Harper with wide eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I’m twelve weeks.” Harper nodded slowly with a happy giggle. “Monty and I wanted to tell you and Bellamy first before we told everyone else.”

“Congratulations.” Clarke gave Harper a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you and Monty, this is exciting.”

“Madi, Theo and Mini are going to have a cousin at the end of the year.” Harper smiled as she pulled away from Clarke. “We’re going around to tell everyone before lunch.”

“Go.” Clarke encouraged with a wide grin.

------ ----- ----- ----- ------

Clarke was one of the last people to get her lunch after changing the babies and laying them in the portable cot so they could play while everyone ate. Clarke filled her plate with food and walked outside, taking the seat next to Bellamy.

“The brisket is good.” Bellamy smiled as he watched her sit down.

“Thanks.” Clarke grinned slowly as she settled down in her seat.

“I made sure Madi got plenty of veggies, she likes the asparagus.” Bellamy chuckled as he looked at Madi who had a piece of asparagus in each hand, taking turns to take a bite out of each one.

“Do you like that Madi?” Clarke smiled at Madi who just gave an exaggerated nod with a wide grin.

Throughout lunch there was a chorus of happy chatter, the conversations ranged from Harper and Monty’s announcement to what Madi was doing that they found amusing. Before Clarke could finish eating, Theo and Minerva began to fuss before Clarke could even move, Bellamy jumped up and went over to the portable crib.

“Thanks, babe.” Clarke gave Bellamy a smile but everyone seemed to turn and look at her confused, Octavia was one of amusement. “What?”

“You just called Bell babe.” Octavia was trying to hide her laughter.

“No, I didn’t.” Clarke was confused, she could’ve sworn that she said Bell. “I called him Bell.”

“You called me babe,” Bellamy spoke as he passed Minerva to his mother before sitting next to Clarke cuddling Theo.

“Sorry,” Clarke mumbled but Bellamy just laughed. “I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s fine, Clarke.” Bellamy chuckled again.

They all started chatting again while they finished eating. Clarke’s heart melted as she watched Bellamy and Theo. Bellamy was holding Theo to his chest as the little boy’s hands held onto Bellamy’s shirt and Bellamy had a soft smile as he kissed Theo’s head.

“Alright everyone,” Raven stood up slowly holding her beer. “I wanted to thank Clarke for making this trip happen, helping cook the food for today and just being an amazing friend and super mom. If I was a Mom of three, I wouldn’t be able to a fraction of the things you do. To Clarke!” Raven raised her beer with a grin.

“To Clarke.” Bellamy smiled at Clarke as he raised his beer as everyone followed suit.

Clarke got up and hugged Raven tightly as tears stung her eyes. Raven smiled and kissed Clarke’s cheek before pulling away. Clarke went back to her seat as Madi and Octavia came out with a big gift bag.

“Thank you, Mommy.” Madi grinned proudly as Octavia passed her the first wrapped parcel then whispered in her ear. “From Doo Doo.”

“Thank you, baby.” Clarke kissed Madi’s cheek. “Thank you, Murphy.” She smiled and opened the parcel, it was a mug that said dear Mom, thank you for wiping my ass and stuff. Love Madi, Mini and Theo. “I love it.” She laughed and put the mug on the table.

“From Harper, Maya, Birdie, O and Linc.” Madi grinned and passed Clarke a box.

“Guys, you didn’t have to. Thank you.” Clarke wiped away some stray tears as she opened the box.

Inside the box was a necklace with three ring pendants with Madi, Mini and Theo’s names engraved on it. More tears welled up in Clarke’s eyes and she wiped them away.

“From Jasper and Monty.” Madi passed Clarke another parcel.

“Thank you.” Clarke was able to get out through her tears.

Inside was a picture of Madi, Theo, Mini and Jasper in a frame that said ‘Best Mom Ever!’.

“From Daddy.” Madi smiled at Clarke and handed her the last parcel.

“Thank you.” Clarke gave Bellamy a quick side hug.

It was another picture frame with a picture of Clarke holding Mini a few days after she had come home. The wooden frame was engraved with ‘thank you for loving me as your own’. Clarke couldn’t stop the tears now; they were free-flowing.

“We wanted to show you how much we all love you.” Octavia smiled. “You’re constantly putting everyone else ahead of yourself and we wanted to show you how much we appreciate you.”

Clarke got up and hugged Octavia tightly before going around and hugging everyone. When Clarke finally got around to Bellamy, he had passed Theo to Raven so he could hug Clarke. Bellamy pulled her into a hug and Clarke nestled comfortably into his arms. Bellamy pressed a kiss into the top of Clarke’s head as he held her.

“You deserve it,” Bellamy whispered as he held her tight.

“Thank you, Bell,” Clarke whispered as he continued to hold her, kissing her head again one more time before pulling away with a smile.

------ ----- ----- ----- ------

After dinner, everyone was standing on the grass as Jasper and Monty got the fireworks ready. Madi stood with her parents while they held Mini and Theo, the kids were wearing earmuffs to muffle the sound of the fireworks. Jasper and Monty set off the fuse timers on the docks before running back to the group. Each couple wrapped their arms around each other and looked up at the sky as the fireworks exploded, spreading colourful spray of light through the sky. Bellamy put his arm around Clarke pulling her close into his side as they all looked up at the sky.

“It’s beautiful.” Clarke smiled before she looked at Madi, Mini and Theo’s reactions.

Madi was in awe of the fireworks while Mini and Theo were grinning widely up at the sky. Lincoln drew Clarke’s attention as he pulled over in front of the group before getting down on one knee.

“Octavia Blake, will you do me the absolute honour of becoming my wife?” Lincoln smiled as he opened the ring box.

“Yes!” Octavia spoke quietly as she nodded slowly.

Lincoln smiled and put the ring on her finger before standing up and kissed her passionately, spinning her around. Octavia and Lincoln turned to everyone will huge grins. Aurora practically tackled Octavia while everyone crowded around. Clarke went to join everyone but noticed that Bellamy was staying back not moving.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Clarke frowned as she adjusted Minerva on her hip.

“I just wasn’t expecting this,” Bellamy admitted.

“It’s okay, she’s your little sister.” Clarke walked closer to Bellamy. “She’s 21 and you worry about her but Lincoln and Octavia are made for each other. You know Lincoln, he’s a good guy.” Clarke assured.

“Maybe I should try to not be so protective.” He gave her a nervous smile.

“You have two little girls that you get to be protective of when boys come around.” Clarke smiled.

“Madi and Mini aren’t dating until they’re 30.” Bellamy’s voice mocked being stern.

“Bell, you’re not even 30. They can date at 16.” She kissed Mini’s head gently.

“No way, we were together when you were 16.” He shook his head slowly. “That’s how we got Madi.”

“Madi’s about to turn four and Mini isn’t even one yet, we have plenty of time to figure out the dating detail.” Clarke laughed, shaking her head. “Come on.” She took his hand and lead him over to Octavia and Lincoln.

------ ----- ----- ----- ------

Clarke sat on the balcony after everyone had gone to bed, she had been staring at the envelope. Her eyes danced over her name on the front of the envelope, the curling of the letters to make up her name in the familiar handwriting. She was nervous and she could feel her heart start to race as she turned over the envelope. Her fingers started to shake as she started to open the envelope carefully, afraid to damage it. She could hear her heart beating in her ears once the envelope was finally open. She pulled out the piece of paper and frowned confused when something else fell out of the envelope. Tears started to sting her eyes.

“Roan.” She sobbed.

Chapter Text

Clarke felt the tears fall down her cheek as she stared at the letter, she hadn’t started to read it yet. She was just staring at it, staring at the handwriting that she loved so much. She loved any time Roan wrote her a note, even if it was just a shopping list because she thought he had the most beautiful handwriting. She took a few deep breathes before she started to read.

Clarke

You know I’m not good at expressing myself so I thought
writing you a letter would be the best way to do this.
As you already know, I hid this letter in my top drawer of
my bedside table knowing you’d find it when I ask you to
grab my watch before we go to your birthday dinner.

You don’t know how happy you made me when you told me you
were pregnant. Our family is growing and honestly, it’s
the best thing to ever happen to me. You are the best thing to
ever happen to me.

I love that you’ve been so open with me, you’ve let me be a part
of Madi’s life and that’s just made me want to be a father even
more. And now you’re giving that to me. You and Madi are the
light of my life and now my life is going to get so much brighter.

After everything that has happened, I never expected to find
happiness or love again. But I did with you. You’ve shown
me what it’s like to have someone truly love me. You’ve shown
me so much since I’ve met you and you’ve taught me so much.

I’ve wanted to ask you this for a long time and honestly, I’m
Nervous, excited and scared all at the same time. Clarke, I love
you more than anything in this world. Enclosed is the ring my
grandfather gave my grandmother when he proposed to her.

So Clarke, will you marry me?

I’ll be downstairs waiting for your answer.

Roan

Clarke picked up the ring and stared at it, it was a beautiful ring. It had a thin delicate rose gold band with huge pear-shaped diamond framed by 14 small round diamonds. Clarke started to cry harder as she covered her face. She stayed like that for a long time before slipping the ring onto her right hand before heading inside to crawl into bed with Madi. Clarke pulled Madi into a hug, kissing her head gently.

----- ---- ---- ---- ----

Clarke stood in the kitchen cooking breakfast for everyone, they were leaving after breakfast. Octavia was the first one to make it downstairs, she was glowing and grinning from ear to ear. Clarke put on a mask on to hide the fact that she was sad, she didn’t want to ruin anyone’s mood.

“Isn’t it a beautiful morning.” Octavia grinned as she hugged Clarke.

“You’re in a good mood.” Clarke forced a smile as she hugged Octavia back.

Octavia pulled away slowly then she spotted the ring on Clarke’s right hand. Octavia’s jaw dropped as she examined the ring.

“Where the hell did this come from?” Octavia was in shock as she stared at Clarke’s ring.

“We can talk about that later,” Clarke assured as she turned back to the food she was cooking.

“Clarke, that’s a big ass ring.” Octavia crossed her arms slowly. “I know you. You don’t want to say anything because you don’t want to ruin my mood or some bullshit like that. So out with it.”

Clarke let out a long breath as she served up the bacon and eggs on to big plates for people to serve themselves. She turned around and leant against the bench, crossing her arms before she looked at Octavia.

“Do you remember the envelope that we found when I was pregnant with Theo?” Clarke’s voice was quiet as she watched Octavia nod slowly. Clarke went over to her handbag on the other kitchen bench and got the envelope out before walking back to Octavia. “I read it last night, it was a letter from Roan, proposing to me, he was going ask me to get his watch before my birthday dinner, so I’d find it. The ring was in the envelope.” Clarke was trying her best not to cry.

“Clarke.” Octavia pulled Clarke into a tight hug and held her for a long time until Clarke pulled away.

“I wanted to wear it, for him. that’s why it’s on my right hand then when Theo is ready to get married, I’ll pass it on to him. It was the same ring Roan’s Grandfather proposed to his grandmother with.” Clarke spoke quietly.

“That’s beautiful, Clarke.” Octavia gave Clarke a smile. “Seriously, it is.”

“I’m sad but I’m not at the same time, it’s just reminded me that what I had with Roan was beautiful.” Clarke gave Octavia a smile. “It reminded me of how much he truly loved me.” Clarke looks down at her ring. “It’s so beautiful.”

“It is, it’s so classy.” Octavia smiled down at the ring slowly.

“Let me have a closer look at yours.” Clarke smiled and Octavia gave Clarke her left hand. “It’s perfect, O.”

Octavia’s ring had a delicate diamond covered thin band with an emerald cut aquamarine stone, held in place by diamond-studded vine leaves. It matched Octavia and Lincoln’s relationship, they both were about nature and did so much outdoors, hiking, hunting, fishing.

“I’m so happy for you.” Clarke smiled and hugged Octavia tightly. “Once you and Lincoln figure out the details, I want to throw you a bridal shower.” She pulled away with a smile.

“Clarke, you don’t have to.” Octavia shook her head.

“My best friend is getting married, I want to celebrate it as much as possible with her.” Clarke smiled slowly.

Almost if on queue everyone started to flow into the kitchen, they served themselves breakfast. Bellamy came into the kitchen with a baby in each arm.

“Hi, babies!” Clarke grinned and tickled their stomachs.

“They slept really good last night.” Bellamy smiled slowly and kissed their heads.

“Would you mind getting me some coffee and setting aside some food while I feed them?” Clarke spoke quickly as she took both babies off him.

“Of course.” Bellamy smiled before Clarke walked into the lounge room.

----- ---- ---- ---- ----

Clarke didn’t want to leave, she didn’t want to leave the lake house and got back to the real world. But she had to, their bags were packed up and they were going home. Bellamy, Clarke and the kids were the last to leave because they wanted to leave the place clean.

“Alright baby girl, are you going with Mommy or Daddy?” Clarke smiled at Madi after they finished packing up the cars.

“Mommy!” Madi giggled and ran to Clarke to hug her tightly.

“Alright, I’ve got our Babies.” Bellamy laughed and started to put Mini and Theo into their seats.

“Well, Madz and I might head off so we can stop to have a little lunch date together.” Clarke smiled at Bellamy slowly.

“You’re going on a date without daddy?” Bellamy mocked being offended as he watched Madi.

“Ha Ha Daddy!” Madi giggled loudly.

“Be careful.” Bellamy gave Clarke a quick hug and kissed Madi’s cheek. “I’ll see you at home.”

Chapter Text

It had been a month since they’d gotten back from the lake and Clarke wanted to go back. She missed waking up and not having to do anything. At home, Clarke was constantly busy between the kids and the bar, she’d get downtime at night where she could relax and have a bath. However, she hadn’t had a full day off since their trip to the lake. 

Clarke walked into the bar just after opening, she was running late because she had to drop Minerva and Theo at daycare but they weren’t settling in, so she had to stay longer to help them get settled making her late to help open the bar. 

“Sorry, Anya,” Clarke spoke quickly as she put her bag down and tied her hair back into a ponytail. 

“It’s okay, Octavia did a lot of prep last night because it was quiet so there wasn’t much to do when I got in.” Anya gave Clarke a small smile. 

“Theo and Mini really didn’t want to go to daycare today.” Clarke let out a sigh. 

“I thought Aurora usually watched them?” Anya watched Clarke as she made a drink for a regular. 

“Tybe’s taken Aurora away for a few days, a little romantic getaway.” Clarke smiled slowly as she wiped down the bar. 

“Who knew Tybe was the romantic type,” Anya smirked slowly. “I need to grab some stock.”

“Go ahead.” Clarke nodded with a smile. 

Clarke didn’t expect to see Liam walk into the bar with his bandmates. Clarke watches them walk straight up to the bar. 

“Hey, Clarke.” Chase smiled at Clarke while Liam stayed back behind the guys. 

“Hi Chase, what can I help you with?” Clarke kept her voice even and emotionless. 

“We wanted to see you about playing more shows,” Penn spoke up as Clarke wiped her hands on a cloth and put it down slowly. 

“Liam didn’t tell you guys?” Clarke raised her eyebrow slowly and smirked. 

“Tell us what?” Chase frowned deeply. 

“Liam had his father present us with a contract for 6 shows, the terms were not beneficial to us so we rejected it,” Clarke explained before glancing up at Liam. 

“We had no idea about any contract,” Penn spoke through his teeth and shot Liam a look. 

“Is there any way we can organise with you again?” Chase looked worried and Clarke knew it was because they earned most of their money playing here, through the ticket and merch sales. 

“At the moment, no.” Clarke felt bad because she liked the other three guys but Liam ruined it. “We’ve filled your spot for the rest of the summer, maybe at the end of the year depending on how this new band works out. Or I’ll try and put you on the roster for next year.” Clarke was only offering to see because she felt bad for the other guys but she knew Liam would pay for it from them. 

“Thanks, Clarke.” The three guys said in unison, their voices both hopeful and defeated. 

All three of them pushed past Liam to walk out of the bar while Liam narrowed his eyes at Clarke. 

“Nice fucking you Liam,” Clarke smirked before he stormed out. 

“Damn Clarke, show him who’s boss.” Anya bumped shoulders with Clarke before they both started laughing. 

——— —————- ———— —————-

Clarke walked into the house after her shift at the bar, it was just after 6 pm and she honestly didn’t know what she was going to do for dinner. She took her boots off and threw her keys onto the side table with her handbag. She took her hair out of the ponytail, shaking her hair free as she walked into the kitchen. She found Madi and Bellamy cooking dinner while Minerva and Theo were laying in their bouncers drinking their bottles of milk. Madi was standing on a chair ordering Bellamy to put the food on each plate. 

“We make dinner Mommy!” Madi grinned as she saw Clarke walk in. 

“Aww thank you, baby!” Clarke smiled slowly and kissed Madi’s head giving her a quick hug.  “Thanks, Bell.” Clarke gave him a smile. 

“It was all Madz.” Bellamy smiled slowly. “How did the kids go getting to daycare?”

“Madi was fine as usual. Mini and Theo, on the other hand, looked at me like I betrayed them. I stayed with them for 45 minutes to settle them down.” Clarke spoke quietly as she bent down kissed Minerva and Theo’s cheek gently. 

“They were having fun when I picked them up after work.” Bellamy smiled bringing the plates of food to the table. 

“How was summer school?” Clarke smirked knowing Bellamy wasn’t fond of his students in summer school because they were disrespectful and rude. 

“It’ll be great if some of the girls would stop trying to pick me up.” Bellamy rolled his eyes as he sat down at the table. 

“Oh god.” Clarke chuckled shaking her head. 

“It’s bad Clarke, there’s this one girl, she wears the shortest, skimpiest skirts and dresses.” He shook his head.  “She sits in the first row and tries to get me to look under her desk.”

“That’s bad,” She couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Clarke, stop.” He pleaded but soon joined in on laughing. 

——— ——— ———

After a few beers, Clarke and Bellamy came up with a plan to try to deter Bellamy’s female students from trying to get him in trouble, probably wasn’t the best plan and Clarke wasn’t completely convinced that it would work. Bellamy came up with most of the plan which was probably why Clarke wasn’t 100% confident with it. The plan was for Clarke to go all out with her hair and makeup, dress in one of the dresses Octavia had given her but she never wore and turn up to the school with the kids to deliver Bellamy the lunch he “forgot”.

Clarke curled her hair into beach waves and did her makeup carefully before putting on the cream off the shoulder floral dress that was short but still appropriate. Clarke was thankful that her bra was holding everything in the right place especially in this dress. She dressed Madi and Minerva in matching dresses while she dressed Theo in black pants and a t-shirt that said Daddy’s little man.

“Mommy?” Madi asked once they got closer to the school.

“Yeah, baby?” Clarke glanced at Madi quickly in the rearview mirror.

“Where are we going?” Madi asked quietly.

“Daddy forgot his lunch so we’re going to visit Daddy at work and give him his lunch,” Clarke explained as she turned into the high school’s parking lot.

“You look pretty Mommy.” Madi grinned widely as Clarke parked the car.

“Thank you, baby.” Clarke turned and smiled at Madi.

Within a few minutes, Clarke had the babies in their pram and was walking up to the school, pushing the pram while Madi was holding onto the side of the pram. They walked through the hall of the high school. She walked into Bellamy’s classroom where he was sitting at his desk while one of his female students obliviously flirting with him while a few other female students stood around his desk.

“Daddy!” Madi squealed and ran towards Bellamy, who stood up and scooped her up.

“Hey, baby girl.” Bellamy grinned widely and kissed Madi’s cheek.

“Hey, babe,” Clarke smirked slightly and kissed Bellamy’s cheek.

“You look amazing, sweetheart,” Bellamy smirked as he saw the looks on his students’ faces.

“You forgot your lunch,” Clarke spoke with a smirk as she put her hand on Bellamy’s chest.

“Who’s this?” The female student who was previously flirting with Bellamy spoke up.

“This is my girlfriend, Clarke and our kids, Madi, Minerva and Theo.” Bellamy smiled and wrapped an arm around Clarke’s waist.

“Oh wow, how long have you two been together?” Another female student spoke up.

“About five years now,” Clarke spoke with a smirk slowly before she looked up at Bellamy. “But we’ve known each other all our lives.”

“Best decision of my life,” Bellamy smirked and kissed Clarke’s forehead.

The girls cleared out of the classroom quickly and Bellamy looked at Clarke before they both started to laugh.

“I think that worked.” Bellamy chuckled slowly as he put Madi down so he could give Minerva and Theo kisses. “Hey, little man.” Bellamy’s grin widened when he saw Theo’s shirt.

A knock on the door made both Clarke and Bellamy look up. Bellamy smiled at the older woman standing at the door.

“Who do we have here?” The woman smiled as she walked in.

“Kara, hey.” Bellamy smiled straightening up. “This is Clarke and our kids, Madi, Mini and Theo.”

“They’re beautiful.” Kara smiled slowly as she looked at the kids before holding her hand out to Clarke. “It’s lovely to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Clarke smiled shaking Kara’s hand gently.

“Bellamy, we have that staff meeting,” Kara spoke up as she turned back to Bellamy.

“Oh yes, right.” Bellamy walked back to his desk and grabbed his bag.

“I was just dropping off your lunch.” Clarke grabbed the Tupperware container out of the back of the pram and gave it to Bellamy. “I’ll see you at home, I’ve got a few meetings tonight, so I won’t be home for dinner.”

“No problem, I’ll see you tonight,” Bellamy spoke quickly and kissing each kid’s cheek.

“Bye Daddy!” Madi grinned as they walked out.

Clarke’s phone went off by the time she got the kids buckled into their seats and ready to go. It was a text from Bellamy.

Bellamy: Thanks Clarke

“Alright babies, ready to go?” Clarke smiled at the kids before she started the car.

Chapter Text

Two weeks after their successful plan, Clarke and Bellamy had everyone over for a movie night, they thought it would be a good way to hang out with everyone. Monty was gushing over becoming a dad and Harper was peppering Clarke with questions. Jasper was bragging about being the kid’s favourite uncle. Octavia and Lincoln announced their wedding date which was going to be May 14th the following year.

Between the first and second movie, Clarke walked into the kitchen with a sigh. Her infection had come back with a vengeance, she was on antibiotics but it seemed to take longer to start to clear then it did last time. She threw the heat pack in the microwave and slammed the door frustrated by the fact she was going through this again. Minerva and Theo needed to be fed before they went down to sleep for the night, she hoped the heat pack would help her relieve the pain while she fed them. She got drinks ready for everyone while she waited for the heat pack to heat up.

“I was looking at booking the lake house again for Clarke’s 21st,” Octavia’s voice carried from the lounge room. “It’s $3,500 a night.”

“Holy shit!” Raven’s voice was raised in shock but was immediately followed by shushing from the others.

“We’ve got to give her some money,” Lincoln spoke up as Clarke got the heat pack from the microwave.

“She spent over $17,000, of course, we fucking do,” Bellamy spoke up.

“Monty and I have $2,000 we can give her now,” Harper spoke up.

“I won’t take a fucking cent from any of you,” Clarke spoke up and walked into the lounge room, carrying the heat pack under her arm and a tray of drinks.

“Clarke, we have to,” Monty protested.

“You and Harper have a baby coming, you two need to save for that.” Clarke passed Harper and Monty their drinks. “You two have rent and student loans to pay.” She spoke sternly as she passed Murphy and Raven their drinks. “Jasper, you need to focus on moving out of your parents and paying off your car.” She passed Jasper his drink. “You guys have a wedding coming up to pay for.” She continued to hand out the drinks. “Bell, they pay you peanuts at the school as a temp.”

Clarke settled down on the bean bag she put at Bellamy’s feet and nestled the heat pack under her breasts over her shirt.

“Clarke,” Raven started but Clarke cut her off.

“I can afford it, that’s why I said I’ll pay for it if you guys sorted everything else out.” Clarke shifted uncomfortably. “I’m not saying I can do it for every occasion but once a year I can.”

Bellamy noticed how uncomfortable Clarke was once she grabbed Mini and Theo off Raven and Octavia. Clarke was comfortable breastfeeding in front of her friends, she did it when she had Madi so didn’t phase her or her friends at all when did it. She started to feed both babies with a hiss. Bellamy immediately started to rub Clarke’s arms and kiss the top of her head.

“You okay?” Bellamy asked quietly.

“Yeah, it’s just uncomfortable,” Clarke whispered as she felt Bellamy start to rub her shoulders.

“Aren’t you touchy-feely tonight?” Octavia commented as she narrowed her eyes at her brother.

“O.” Bellamy sighed and stopped rubbing Clarke’s shoulders.

Clarke sighed and hunched her shoulders, she was enjoying that because everything was aching because of her infection.

“So what’s going on with you?” Harper spoke up as Lincoln headed into the kitchen with Murphy and Jasper.

“I have mastitis,” Clarke let out a heavy sigh. “Some mom’s get it when they’re breastfeeding. I had it at the lake house, it went away and then it came back last week with a vengeance.”

“What happens with it?” Harper leant forward with Monty following in suit, the parents to be interested in learning.

“A milk duct is clogged so I’m really sore, it hurts to pump and breastfeed. I get headaches, fevers and body aches.” Clarke winced slowly and readjusted Theo.

“Did you have an epidural?” Harper tilted her head to the side.

“With Madi, Yes. Theo, no it was too late.” Clarke answered quickly before looking down to see that both babies were starting to fall asleep.

“Will you be there with me when the baby comes?” Harper seemed to be a little embarrassed by the question she was asking.

“Of course.” Clarke gave Harper a smile which made Harper visibly relax. “I’m more than happy to.”

“Thank you.” Harper smiled.

“Relax and enjoy your pregnancy, don’t stress over the little things.” Clarke smiled slowly and stroked Mini’s hair as she drifted off.

“Look a Momma Clarke being a Momma,” Raven smirked.

“It’s my job being all of your Mommas.” Clarke laughed as she relaxed because both babies stopped feeding.

------- ------- -------- -------- ------- -------

They didn't plan to have everyone sleep over but it happened, Octavia and Lincoln ended up in Madi's bed, Harper and Monty in Clarke's bed, Raven and Murphy in the guest room, Jasper and Maya on the fold out lounge in the lounge room. Clarke's plan was to sleep in the rocking chair in the nursery but when she went to go sleep there, Bellamy put his hands on her shoulders and led her to his room. Madi was already sound asleep in the middle of the bed, Bellamy guided her to one side of the bed before going to the other side to get in. Clarke didn't realise how tired she was until her head hit the pillow, it felt like she fell asleep instantly.

Clarke woke up early the next morning to Bellamy cuddling Madi who was cuddling into Clarke's side, both sleeping peacefully. A sigh left Clarke's as she turned her head to look at Bellamy's alarm clock on the bedside table. 5:00 am. Clarke forced herself up slowly but as soon as she sat up she felt a strong hand on her arm.

"Go back to sleep." Bellamy's voice was low and husky as he watched her not moving from his head up from his pillow.

"I need to get up and put some laundry on before Mini and Theo wake up," Clarke spoke in a hushed whisper.

"Do that later, lay back down," he ordered and honestly Clarke just wanted to lay down again.

"Fine." she fake grumbled and laid back down.

"That's better." he smiled, closing his eyes and throwing his arm over both Clarke and Madi. "Sleep."

------- ------ -------

Clarke only slept for another two hours when the sound of hushed whispers woke her up. She found Raven and Octavia at the end of Bellamy's bed with Madi. Clarke then realized that Bellamy was spooning her close after the absence of their daughter between them. Clarke quickly slipped out of Bellamy's arms and ushered the three lurker's out of the room.

"We've trained Madi well," Raven smirked at Octavia.

"Trained her? What are you talking about?" Clarke raised her eyebrow as she picked up her daughter and started to walk downstairs to the kitchen.

"A little birdie told us that Bellamy called you his girlfriend at work the other day," Octavia explained as she slid onto one of the stools in the kitchen.

"So we told her that if she saw Mommy and Daddy doing anything she needed to tell Aunty O and Aunt Birdie." Raven finished taking the stool next to Octavia.

"Sit with your crazy aunts," Clarke spoke to Madi quietly before placing her on the last stool. "Bell had some of his students relentless flirt with him because they thought he was single, so I got dressed up, did my hair and makeup then went to the school with the kids to give Bell his lunch and pretend to be his girlfriend," Clarke explained and put the coffee pot on.

"So you're not dating?" Raven asked quietly, already sounding defeated.

"We're not dating." Clarke watched her two friends closely.

"Why were you in his bed then?" Octavia narrowed her eyes at Clarke.

"Because every other bed in the house was taken including my own, I was going to sleep in the rocking chair. He told me to just sleep in his bed with him and Madi.” Clarke watched Octavia.

“Why were you guys cuddling then?” Octavia countered, raising her eyebrow slowly.

“Madi was laying between us, So when she moved, he just moved closer to me.” Clarke shrugged.

“Just tell us you’re dating.” Octavia threw her arms up in the air.

“We’re not. Neither of us are ready for a relationship, we both have a lot of things we need to work on before we can even consider dating anyone.” Clarke started to pour them cups of coffee before walking over to the fridge.

“He was so touchy-feely with you last night,” Octavia commented which made Clarke roll her eyes slowly.

“Because I’m in pain O and Bellamy knows that it hurts for me to feed Mini and Theo.” Clarke passed Madi a cup of milk then Raven and Octavia’s coffees to them. “Can we drop this?”

“Fine,” Octavia grumbled.

“Get off Clarke’s tits, O.” Raven finally spoke up. “Drink your coffee, so you’re not so grumpy.”

There was a long silence while Octavia drank her coffee. Clarke decided to break the silence once Octavia was halfway through her coffee.

“Are you two going to help me pick out a P U P P Y for M A D I?” Clarke relaxed as she sat up on the bench.

“I’m down.” Raven smiled slowly.

“Do you think I could convince Lincoln to let me get one?” Octavia took a long sip.

“Better to ask forgiveness than permission,” Clarke commented with a small laugh.

——— ——— ——— ———

Clarke walked through the pound with Raven and Octavia. Bellamy had tasked Clarke to pick out the puppy for Madi’s birthday in two weeks. Octavia had decided on the ride over that she was definitely going to get a dog today.

“Clarke, look at these two!” Octavia gushed as she pointed at two Dogue de Bordeaux puppies. “We should get them! They’re all alone, their mommy died Clarke.”

Octavia knew exactly what to say to make Clarke feel for them and want them. Clarke walked over to the cage slowly and crouched down slowly.

“Okay, we’ll get them, they need to stay at your mom’s place until Madi’s birthday okay,” Clarke spoke quietly as she watched the puppies.

Octavia couldn’t contain her excitement as the worker took them to the office to fill out of the office to fill out the forms and pay the fees.

“So it’s going to be $600 for each puppy.” The worker spoke after she handed them the paperwork.

“Shit,” Octavia mumbled not realising that it was going to cost that much.

“Early Christmas present.” Clarke smiled slowly and passed the woman her credit card.

“Thank you!” Octavia crushed Clarke with a hug.

“Your welcome.” Clarke smiled slowly. “Don’t let Lincoln kill me.” Clarke laughed quietly.

Chapter Text

Madi’s birthday came with a mixture of emotions, it was happy because her daughter is turning another year old but also sad because it marked her last day with Roan. It also marked the day that they told Madi she was going to be a big sister. Clarke pushed aside her sadness and focused on Madi. They were having a relaxed barbecue with everyone and invited Madi’s friends from daycare.

Clarke smiled as she watched Madi run around with a few of her friends while Clarke brought out the side dishes. She put the bowls on the table before she walked over to grill where Bellamy was standing with a few of the dads of Madi’s friends.

“It’s almost ready.” Bellamy smiled down at Clarke.

“I can’t wait for Madi to see her present.” Clarke smiled excitedly.

“How long have you guys been together?” One of the older Dad’s asked.

“We’re not together,” Clarke clarified.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” The dad spoke quickly.

“It’s okay, perfectly innocent question.” Bellamy smiled slowly.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Clarke spoke quietly before walking inside.

Clarke sighed quietly as her mind started to drift to Roan.

“Hey, Clarke? Are you okay?” Raven asked quietly as she walked over with Minerva on her hip.

“Yeah,” Clarke forced a smile as Mini started to reach for Clarke. “Hey, baby.” She took Minerva and kissed her head.

“Roan?” Raven asked quietly.

“Yeah but I need to focus on Madi today.” Clarke’s voice broke slightly.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Raven watched her friend carefully.

“I have to go to the nurse to get my iv antibiotics set up then I was going to take Theo with me to visit Roan’s grave.” Clarke’s voice was unsure as she spoke.

“It’s okay if you’re not ready to go there yet.” Raven rubbed Clarke’s back gently.

“I’m not ready,” Clarke admitted quietly. “I kind of want to get a tattoo.”

“What do you want to get?” Raven asked curiously.

“Always, it’s the last thing Roan said to me,” Clarke spoke quietly as Minerva cuddled into her chest.

“O and I will take you to the nurse, after that, to get your tattoo.” Raven offered with a smile.

“I love you guys.” Clarke hugged Raven tightly.

“We love you too, Clarkie,” Raven smiled slowly and gave Clarke a squeeze. “Let’s go get this party started!”

“Relax, Madi is only four.” Clarke laughed and let Raven lead her outside.

Bellamy made a beeline for Clarke as Tybe took over the grill.

“Mom thinks we should give Madi her present now,” Bellamy spoke quickly as Minerva reached for him and he took her off Clarke.

“Yeah, okay.” Clarke nodded slowly. “Madi? Come here Baby girl.”

Madi ran over and gave a twirl to show off her new dress that Harper and Monty had bought her.

“Very beautiful baby girl.” Clarke smiled and kissed Madi’s cheek. “Mommy and Daddy have a present for you.”

“From Mini and Theo too?” Madi asked with a wide grin.

“Yeah from Mini and Theo too.” Bellamy smiled slowly.

The back door of the house opened and the puppy ran out, straight to Madi who screamed with joy. She got down on her knees and let the puppy lick her face.

“Baby, can you give him a name?” Clarke smiled after a few minutes.

“Ro!” Madi smiled widely hugging the puppy.

Bellamy, Raven and Octavia, who had emerged from the house, looked at Clarke.

“Madz, maybe you can name him something different?” Bellamy spoke gently to Madi.

“No!” Madi frowned deeply and scowled at her father.

“It’s okay, baby if you want to name him Ro if you want to.” Clarke gave Madi a gentle smile.

Madi had an important relationship with Roan, maybe naming the puppy Ro was her way of remembering him. Maybe it was just Madi being Madi. Maybe it was Madi trying to have that bond again. Whichever one it was, Clarke wasn’t going to stop her.

“Are you sure?” Bellamy asked quietly.

“Yeah.” Clarke nodded slowly and played with the ring on her right hand.

———— ———— ———— ————

The birthday party went well, Madi and her friends played with Ro and Octavia’s puppy Chewy until they were all exhausted. Madi curled up in her bed with Ro curled up next to her. Minerva and Theo were exhausted too after not having their naps all day so they barely staying awake while they were having their bottles. Clarke yawned as she walked out of the nursery with Bellamy.

“You okay?” Bellamy asked quietly once he closed the door to the nursery.

“Yeah just tired.” Clarke nodded slowly.

“Do you need me to drive you to your appointment tomorrow?” His eyes danced over her as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

“O and Raven are taking and then taking me to out for a while.” She explained quietly. “Are going to be alright with the kids?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about the kids okay.” He gave her a quick hug.

“Thanks, Bell.” She smiled before heading to bed.

——— ——— ———

Dreams haunted her, visions of the police coming to her door, Roan leaving to go to the bar and Roan’s destroyed car haunted her dreams. She wanted to wake up but she couldn’t.

“Drive safe?” Her voice echoed.

“Always.” Roan’s voice echoed as she watched him leave Madi’s birthday party.

The sound of a knock at the door echoed through her dreams. The image of Roan's wrecked car haunted her again. The twisted metal, the smoke escaping from the hood of the car, the dripping sound of the petrol escaping the car, the continuous sound of a car horn. Shouts for someone to call 911, the sound of footsteps running away from the scene, the panicked screams when a child's car seat was found in the back. The key ring that had a picture of Roan, Madi and Clarke was laying on the road with a blood covering it. Roan was hunched over, limp with his head on the horn, his eyes blank and empty. She screamed but no sound came out, she felt like she was trapped. Everything she had tried to forget was now haunting her.

A gasp escaped Clarke's lips when she was finally able to wake up, she gripped onto the blankets but soon realized that it wasn't the blankets she was clinging onto.

"You're okay, I've got you," Bellamy assured her quietly as he held her close. "I've got you." he kissed the top of her head.

Clarke felt herself relax but she still held onto Bellamy, afraid to be alone, afraid for the dreams to come back. She felt Bellamy lay down, letting her curl into his arms, her head laying on his chest.

"Thank you." Clarke croaked out not moving.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked quietly.

"I was dreaming about last year... the crash... it was so vivid." she shuttered at the thought. "I don't want to sleep." she admitted quietly not looking at him.

"Want to go for a walk?" He asked quietly.

"We can't leave the kids." she shook her head gently.

"Lincoln and O are in the guest room, they came over after you went to bed. O wanted to be here in case you needed anything in the morning." He explained quietly as he stroked her hair.

"A walk would be good." She sat up slowly.

Clarke changed into a pair of sweats and a hoodie while Bellamy went to his room and got dressed in record timing. The walked outside into the cool air of the morning, she took a deep breath and let the cool air fill her lungs. The sky was beginning to light up with a pale hue of pink beginning to peek through before it met with the dark morning sky.

"Why don't walk down to the creek?" Bellamy asked quietly as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "It'll be nice out there."

Clarke nodded slowly and they walked down the street before turning down a dirt road that led to the creek. there was a comfortable silence between them as they walked. Once they reached the creek, they both sat down on the bench that overlooked it.

"Sorry that I woke you up." Clarke's voice was quiet as she looked down at her hands, she fiddled with her engagement ring from Roan.

"Don't apologize, it's fine honestly. I was worried about you." Bellamy's voice was quiet, almost as if he didn't want to disturb the peacefulness of the area around them.

"Thank you for being there for me." She spoke quietly and rested her head on Bellamy's shoulder.

"You don't need to thank me, we're a team remember?" He put his arm around Clarke gently.

"I can't believe it's been a year already." She mumbled quietly as she closed her eyes.

"A lot has happened. The bar has been busy and Theo is almost seven months old." He gave her a gentle squeeze.

"Theo and Mini are growing up too fast." She let a small smile play on her lips.

"He'd be proud of you, you've been so strong through all of this." He spoke quietly as he watched the sun begin to rise. "I didn't know him very well but he was a good guy and he loved you a lot, even a blind person could see that."

"You used to call him a man bun wearing asshole." A small laugh left Clarke's lips.

"A man bun wearing asshole who was a good guy and loved you very much." he chuckled quietly. "He wasn't an asshole, I was the asshole who was keeping secrets and lashing out."

"There are no secrets between now," she whispered. "No reasons to lash out."

"Maybe I'll actually be an adult now." he chuckled again quietly.

"Maybe we'll both be." She looked at him slowly. "You're not the only one guilty of being immature."

"Sometimes growing up and being a mature adult is easier said than done," he admitted and looked at her.

Another comfortable silence hung over them as they watched the sunrise, taking in the beauty of the new year.

"I got a call from the DA last week, I have to the court to make a victim impact statement at his sentencing next week." Her voice was quiet as she looked down, she never spoke his name, he didn't deserve that dignity.

"What day? I can come along with you if you want." He watched her carefully with a small frown.

"Tuesday," she spoke quietly and ran a hand through her hair.

"That's your birthday." he frowned deeply.

"I didn't have any plans anyway and I want to be there to make sure he gets the longest sentence possible." She spoke in a determined voice. "Tybe's going too, so I think you should just stay home with the kids."

"I can do that." he nodded slowly. "We should head back, I'll make breakfast."

------- ------- ------ ------

Clarke couldn't help but smile at the tattoo on her wrist, the tattoo artist was able to copy Roan's handwriting from a note she had saved that was written by him. she couldn't be more thankful to have Raven and Octavia in her life, they had taken amazing care of her, taking her to the nurse to get her portable IV antibiotics in and then taking her to the tattoo shop before taking her to coffee in their favourite coffee shop.

"So I've booked the bridal shower for O the end of next week, everyone needs to meet at my place at 10." Clarke smiled slowly as she watched Octavia get excited.

"Thank you!" Octavia squealed and hugged Clarke tightly.

"Isn't it just what friends are supposed to do?" Clarke smiled hugging her friend tightly.

"Raven and I have organised something for your birthday next week." Octavia pulled away excitedly.

"I can't really do anything, I don't know what time I'll be home. I have to go to court that day, he's being sentenced." Clarke explained quietly. "We could do a movie night when I get home."

"Nope, we'll just make adjustments to the plans we made." Raven shook her head slowly. "It's your 21st birthday, we're partying and you have no say in it."

Chapter Text

Clarke’s hands shook as she walked up to the podium with Tybe after he had made his statement. Tybe stayed next to Clarke with an arm around her as she got out her piece of paper from the pocket of her dress.

“Roan Azgeda was the love of my life, one year and six days his life was taken too soon. I loved Roan and in an instant, my world was flipped upside down and crushed when he was taken from us. We lost him in an instant and our lives are forever changed. This year has been the hardest year of my life, there’s an empty space in my life that I’m not sure will ever be completely full again. Birthdays, holidays and family gatherings feel strange without him by my side. Our last day together, we spend celebrating my daughter’s third birthday and we had just announced that we were expecting our first baby together. I’m haunted by nightmares of that night, of the police officers knocking my door at 3 in the morning.” Clarke took a deep breath and Tybe rubbed Clarke’s back gently before she turned to the man sitting in his seat with his head hung low. “You used to be a regular at the bar we owned, you left after our staff refused to serve you. They took your keys and called you a cab like they had done on so many nights before. You got the cab to your house to get your spare car keys before going to another bar. You returned to your car and started to drive around town. You were speeding, you ran a red light and t-boned Roan’s car. You killed him, you murdered him.” She wiped away her tears. “You tore Roan away from his family. My son, Theo will never meet his father, he will never get to know the man who was so excited to meet him. I went through my pregnancy alone, I gave birth alone because of you. Every day, my son grows up a little more and looks more like his father. He has to grow up without his father because of your actions.” She watched as the man put his head in his hands. “Look at me. Look at the pain you have caused. You have spoken about the pain and suffering that this has made YOU go through. You have not even considered the pain you’ve caused, the suffering you’ve caused. You have no remorse for what you’ve done and I hope with all of my heart that you suffer for a very long time for what you’ve done. You deserve no sympathy or pity. You are a murderer.” She took a deep breath before turning back to the judge. “I hope your honour and the court sentences this man to the punishment he deserves for killing Roan, robbing me of the love of my life and robbing my son of his father before he even got the chance to meet him.”

Clarke sat back down with Tybe letting him hold her hand as they waited for the judge to read the sentencing out. Clarke blocked out most of the small information, she just wanted to know the sentencing.

“On count three of vehicular homicide, we sentence you to life in the state penitentiary.” The judge continued to speak but Clarke tuned him out, he was going away forever, he was punished and will be punished for the rest of his life.

———— ———— ———— ————

Clarke walked into the house slowly to find Bellamy giving the kids dinner. It was early but the kids looked tired, Mini was yawning, Theo was dozing off in his high chair with cooked spinach hanging out of his mouth. Madi was sneaking Ro food under the table when she thought Bellamy wasn’t looking.

“How did it go?” Bellamy asked quietly after he gave her a quick hug.

“He got life.” Clarke spoke quietly.

“That’s good.” Bellamy smiled slowly. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.” Clarke smiled and gave him a quick hug.

“Happy birthday Mommy!” Madi squealed and ran over Clarke hugging her tightly.

“Thank you, baby.” Clarke smiled picked Madi up.

“Mommy still has an owie in your arm?” Madi frowned putting her hand on Clarke’s cheek.

“No baby, the nurse took it out this morning because Mommy will be better soon.” Clarke kissed Madi’s cheek.

“Daddy Get Mommy’s present!” Madi ordered with a smile.

“You got Mommy a present?!” Clarke smiled and hugged Madi close.

“Put me down!” Madi ordered and Clarke obeyed while Bellamy passed Clarke a big box.

“Woah!” Clarke smiled as she put the box on the table so she could open it.

In the box, there was a bottle of expensive gin, a couple bath bombs, a martini set, lotions, a fluffy robe and a framed picture of her, Bellamy and the kids from the 4th of July.

“Oh Bell, I love it.” Clarke hugged Bellamy tightly and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

“I’d thought you’d like it.” Bellamy smiled slowly.

“Do you like it, Mommy?” Madi smiled and walked over to her again.

“I love it, baby.” Clarke scooped up Madi. “Thank you very much.” She kissed Madi’s cheek gently.

“Daddy picked it!” Madi grinned widely.

“He did! Daddy did a good job then.” Clarke smiled hugging Madi tightly.

“Come on Madz, it’s time to go to Nanna’s.” Bellamy smiled as he got the kids out of their high chair.

Clarke put Madi down and kissed Mini and Theo’s head.

“Are you alright going alone? I’ve got to pump and try to unclog what’s going on.” Clarke gestured to her chest.

“If you need me to help when I get back I can, Nyko showed me how to do it.” He spoke quietly.

“Thank you.” Clarke kissed his cheek gently. “I’m going to try to use the pump first.”

“I’ll be back soon.” He smiled and walked out with the kids.

———— ———— ———— ————

Clarke walked downstairs dressed in a pair of shorts and a graphic t-shirt. Clarke smiled as she opened the front door. She had barely opened the door when they all started to pile in.

“Happy birthday Mom!” Jasper barrelled into her giving her a tight hug.

“Thank you.” Clarke laughed and hugged Jasper back.

“Come on,” Octavia dragged Clarke out the house to the car. “You wore your bikini right?”

“Yeah I did, where are we going?” Clarke laughed loudly.

“It’s a surprise,” Raven smirked. “Bell, blindfold her. Don’t get too frisky you two.” Raven smirked as she watched Bellamy.

“Don’t worry,” Bellamy whispered in Clarke’s ear as he tied the blindfold on her.

They guided her to sit in the back seat of the car, she was sitting in the middle with Bellamy on one side of her and she assumed Raven on the other side. The car started to move and Clarke sucked in a deep breath nervously. The drive was quiet and it made Clarke’s nerves worse. The car stopped and Clarke could hear the door open.

“Bell, she’s going to need to sit on your lap, Maya needs to get in.” Octavia’s voice echoed.

Clarke felt her seat belt being taken off then strong hands moving her onto Bellamy’s lap before his arms wrapped around her waist. She shifted on his lap, probably more than she should have and heard him suck in a breath before she felt him start to get hard against her ass.

“Fuck,” Bellamy muttered in her ear. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Clarke whispered and relaxed, letting the tension leave her body.

The rest of the ride wasn’t as quiet, the car was alive with conversation. She felt Bellamy’s arms tighten around her as the road started to get bumpy.

“Where are we going?” Clarke laughed as they went over the bumps.

“It’s a surprise,” Octavia spoke up. “Bell, distract her.”

“How am I supposed to do that?” Bellamy chuckled slowly.

“Make out with her or something.” Octavia’s voice at a humorous laugh to it. “We’re almost there.”

“Why do you want me to make out with your brother so much?” Clarke laughed.

“I ship it.” Octavia laughed quietly.

“Same!” Raven laughed.

“Leave them alone!” Maya spoke up.

“I agree with Maya,” Lincoln spoke up.

“Thank you,” Bellamy spoke quietly as he readjusted Clarke on his lap.

Clarke sucked in a breath when he readjusted her on his lap, he rubbed against her as he did this. She balled her hands up and tried to steady her breathing. She relaxed slightly when the car stopped and the door opened. She was pulled out of the car.

“Ready for this?” Octavia asked quickly before taking the blindfold off.

Clarke looked around slowly, they were at a campsite near a river, there were tents already set up and a fire pit.

“Happy birthday!” Everyone called out in unison.

“Thank you, guys!” Clarke hugged Octavia and Raven. “I love you guys.”

“We love you too.” Octavia grinned hugging Clarke.

“Geez guys, why don’t you just make out?” Murphy walked over from his car.

“Don’t tempt me.” Clarke turned to Murphy with a smirk.

“You wouldn’t dare.” Murphy challenged.

“Are you challenging her babe?” Raven raised her eyebrow slowly with a smirk.

“I wouldn’t do that, I did it once when they were drinking and they made out to prove me wrong,” Lincoln warned as he carried the cooler over to the fire pit.

“Don’t challenge us then,” Octavia smirked slowly as she watched Lincoln.

“Our back up plan is to marry each other it doesn’t work out with you guys.” Raven laughed slowly.

“I’m down for all of the threesomes.” Clarke laughed slowly.

“Enjoy my sloppy seconds, O,” Bellamy smirked as he walked passed the girls.

“Did you just call me sloppy seconds?” Clarke crossed her arms and walked over to him.

“Shit, no, that’s not what I meant.” Bellamy stuttered.

“Screw you, Bell,” Clarke smirked and pushed past him.

Clarke took off her shirt and shorts before walking into the water.

——— ——— ———

Clarke smiled around at her friends as they sit around the fire pit after they had dinner. They were making Clarke do shots if she said particular words but hadn’t told her what words they were, she’d only find out when they’d yell at her to drink. She was drunk. Like really drunk. She sat with her legs over Bellamy’s lap, her hand would move to play with his hair every now and then. Her head was spinning from the alcohol.

“I want to go swimming,” Clarke announced as she took her legs off Bellamy’s lap.

“Drink!” Murphy, Raven and Octavia shouted at her.

“What did I say?” Clarke pouted as she watched Murphy pour her a shot.

“We’re not telling you.” Murphy smiled and watched her take the shot.

Clarke grimaced from the shot before handing the shot glass back. She started to stumble away from the fire pit towards the water's edge. She pulled her shirt off and took her shorts off.

“Tits out for us Clarke, get your tits out for us Clarke!” Raven, Murphy, Octavia and Monty started singing loudly.

Clarke laughed and pulled off her bikini before she walked into the water before dunking under the water. By the time she reached the surface again, Bellamy had shed his shirt off and was making his way towards her in the water.

“You’re too drunk to be swimming,” Bellamy spoke in a low voice as he reached her.

“I’m not drunk.” Clarke slurred as Bellamy pulled her close making her head spin more. “I’m drunk.” She nodded and put her hands on his chest. “Woah.” She mumbled as she ran her hands down his chest, feeling his hard muscles under her fingertips.

“You okay?” He smirked, watching her slowly.

“Mmhmm...” she smiled and let her hands lower to the waistband of his swimming shorts.

“Woah.” Bellamy grabbed her hands, shaking his head slowly.

“I know you want it, I felt you in the car.” She looked up at him pouting slowly.

“I do but not like this.” He shook his head slowly. “I do want you, trust me but we’re not ready.”

“I want you.” She pouted and looked up at him, she crossed her arms under her breasts, pushing them up.

“Clarke.” He groaned as he watched her.

Clarke kept her eyes on Bellamy as she ran her hand over crotch feeling that he was hard already. She stroked him through his shorts and smirked as he moaned quietly.

“Clarke.” He pulled her hand away from him. “Not like this okay.”

“I’ll get myself off then.” She whispered in his ear and watched him shutter.

She swam back to shore and looked back to see him watching her carefully. She grabbed her bikini top and put it back on. She looked around and realised the others had made their way to bed. Clarke went to the tent she was sharing with Bellamy and laid down with a sigh. The world was spinning and Clarke started to realise exactly how drunk she was. She couldn’t get her mind off Bellamy, how he felt against her in the car and how hard he was against her hand.

She found her hand creeping into her bikini bottoms, she stroked herself gently and let a moan escape her lips. She closed her eyes and imagined that it was Bellamy rubbing her clit gently. She imagined him running a hand down her body before he rubbed her clit more intensely. She could feel herself building up before she felt herself release.

“Fuck.” She muttered as she panted and opened her eyes.

She was definitely fucked.

Chapter Text

Clarke’s head pounded when she woke up, she sat up with a groan to find Bellamy holding a bottle of water out to her as he sat crossed legged across from her in the tent. She thankfully took the water and the painkillers he offered her as soon as she took the bottle of water.

“Thank you.” Clarke’s voice came out croaky. “How much did I drink last night?”

“A lot.” Bellamy chuckled with a small smile as he watched her.

“I did embarrassing stuff, didn’t I?” Her memory was still fuzzy as she threw the pills into her mouth and gulped down the water greedily.

“Not really, except stripping half naked to go swimming then feeling me up when I went to get you out of the water. That was before you told me you were going to go get yourself off because I refused to sleep with you.” He chuckled as he watched her start to choke on her water.

“Oh god.” She managed to get out when she stopped coughing. “I’m sorry Bell.” She groaned as the memories started to clear up.

“It’s okay.” He smiled slowly before going into the bag in the corner, pulling out the pump bag. “Here, you’re going to need to pump. I’ll give you some privacy.”

“Thanks, Bell.” She took the pump slowly. “I’m really sorry about last night.” She spoke quietly making him stop.

A smirk spread across his face as he turned back to Clarke.

“I never said I didn’t like it.” He flashed her another smile before he climbed out of the tent.

I’m definitely fucked, Clarke let out a long breath.

———— ———— ———— ————

Clarke emerged out of the tent and dumped the milk out of the bottles before washing them out with the rest of her bottle of water. She threw the bottles back into the tent before walking over to the chairs they had set up from the night before.

“I could smell the tequila in my breast milk.” Clarke grimaced and took the bottle of water Jasper offered her.

“It’s not over yet, mom,” Jasper smirked slowly. “We still have all day before we leave.”

“Drink up Clarke,” Raven smirked as she held a shot glass out to Clarke.

“Uh-uh.” Clarke shook her head slowly.

“Drink it,” Octavia ordered as she walked over.

“You know I need to be able to feed Mini and Theo when I get home.” Clarke raised an eyebrow and looked at the both of them.

“No you don’t, we’ve got plenty of milk in the freezer,” Bellamy called out.

“Hey! You’re meant to be on my side!” Clarke pouted and eyed the shot. “I hate you guys.” She shook her head and took the shot.

The gold liquid burned her throat and she could feel the heat in her stomach. She gagged and groaned loudly before she chugged the full bottle of water.

“Raven and I got you a present.” Octavia pulled Clarke out of the seat and to the car, she opened the boot to reveal two boxes.

The first box was a clone a Willy kit and the second box was a standard rabbit vibrator.

“I picked the clone a Willy, I thought you could clone Bell’s,” Raven smirked while Octavia grimaced. “He does have a good one.”

“You’re disgusting.” Octavia nudged Raven before shooting her a look.

“How would you know?” Clarke frowned as she started to connect the dots, Clarke stepped back slowly.

“Clarke...” Raven stepped closer to Clarke but Clarke just stepped back again.

“When?” Clarke spoke quietly as she watched Raven carefully.

“Clarke.” Octavia stepped towards Clarke.

“You knew?” Clarke’s voice was quiet as she watched her two friends.

“Clarke, it happened a long time ago.” Raven pleaded.

“When did it happen?” Clarke asked again and crossed her arms.

“The summer before you got pregnant with Madi.” Raven sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m sorry Clarke.”

“I’m not angry that you did it,” Clarke ran a hand through her hair. “It hurts that you didn’t tell me, either of you.”

“Clarke...” Octavia’s voice was full of defeat.

“I was understanding when neither of you wanted to talk to me after found out that Bell was Madi’s dad and I gave you space,” Clarke looked down slowly. “Just give me time to process this.”

Clarke walked away from them and passed everyone getting ready for breakfast. She ignored their calls for her, she sat down with a sigh. She wasn’t angry she was just hurt that they didn’t tell her. Clarke sat down staring at the river with a quiet sigh.

After a while, Clarke heard footsteps coming towards her. She looked up to Raven walking towards her and sitting down next to her.

“I’m sorry, Clarke,” Raven spoke quietly. “ I never wanted to tell anyone about it, it was just after the second round of shit with Finn. I never should’ve gotten back together with him after all the shit went down between the three of us. I was such an idiot to get back together with the fucker who played us both.” Raven sighed. “I wanted a rebound so I called Bellamy. We slept together, it was just the once. I was never going to tell anyone but Octavia caught me leaving his room. She flipped her shit at me for an hour and I made her promise not to tell anyone.”

“I’m not mad, Raven.” Clarke looked at Raven slowly. “I’m sad that you didn’t feel like you could tell me.”

“I didn’t want to tell anyone, it meant nothing to me and Bell,” Raven spoke quietly. “I’m sorry, Clarke.” She looked like she was on the verge of tears.

“It’s okay.” Clarke pulled Raven into a tight hug. “I just didn’t expect it.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you, ever,” Raven mumbled into the crook of Clarke’s neck.

“Stop, Raven.” Clarke pulled back slightly. “I love you, Raven, no man, not even Bellamy Blake will ever get between us.” She smiled and brushed the hair out Raven’s face.

“I love you too Clarkie.” Raven smiled and hugged Clarke again.

“Thank god you guys got me a vibrator, I need it.” Clarke laughed and covered her face embarrassed.

“You and Bell didn’t get it on last night?” Raven wiggled her eyebrows with a small laugh.

“Drunk me tried to but we didn’t, we’re not ready for that.” Clarke smiled slowly. “But I do need release in my life.”

“We picked out a good one. I have the same one and it’s amazing.” Raven smirked.

Octavia walked up to them slowly, a little hesitantly with her head hung low.

“Come here, O.” Clarke held her arms out for Octavia to come and give her a hug. “I’m not mad.”

Clarke hugged both girls with a smile as they both relaxed.

“I’m sorry I overreacted.” Clarke sighed quietly.

“It’s okay, we kind of blindsided you.” Raven shrugged slowly and kissed Raven’s cheek. “We love you anyway. Do me a favour?” Raven spoke quietly. “Don’t be mad at Bell about this please.”

“I’m not mad at him,” Clarke assured quietly. “Let’s go back, I’m starving.”

Clarke got up slowly and started to walk back with the others following close behind her. They maid it back to the campsite and walked over to everyone who was serving up breakfast. Bellamy frowned slightly as he watched Clarke walk back with Raven and Octavia. He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked over to her slowly. Raven and Octavia passed them to give them privacy.

“I know we said no secrets but I didn’t want to put Raven in that position.” Bellamy sighed quietly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“It’s okay, I just didn’t expect it,” Clarke spoke quietly. “I was just blindsided by it. We’ve never spoken about who you’ve slept with because it’s none of my business.”

“You probably don’t wont to know, I’m a bit of a man whore.” He shrugged slowly.

“The father of my children is a man whore?!” She faked being shocked while trying not to laugh.

“Shut up.” He chuckled and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Should I be hugging you? I might catch something.” She giggles as he held her close.

“Catch something Hey?” He started to tickle her causing a loud squeal to leave her lips.

“Stop!” She squealed trying to get out of his grip. “Bell!” She squealed as he picked her up and continued to tickle her, the pain started to shoot through her breast. “Bell, stop.” She winced loudly.

“Shit, you okay?” He put her down quickly.

“Yeah.” She nodded before going to the tent quickly holding her chest.

She set up the pump and quietly groaned as she started to pump knowing that she was unclogging her clogged milk ducts. Bellamy picking her up helped release the clog, letting her fully in clog it. Relief washed over when she felt the clogs finally release.

“Clarke? Can I come in?” Bellamy called out after fifteen minutes after she disappeared into the tent.

“Yeah, I just finished pumping,” Clarke called out and he came in immediately.

“Holy shit.” He mumbled as he saw the pumping bottles that had a small amount of bloody breast milk, just like it was the first time she had Mastitis. “Are you okay?” He frowned slowly.

“Yeah.” Clarke gave him a small smile. “They’re finally unclogged.”

“That’s good.” He spoke quietly. “Food’s ready.” He gave her a small smile but it was obvious that he was uncomfortable.

“Can you serve me up some while I clean up this stuff?” She started to get out of the tent slowly.

“Yeah.” He spoke quickly and let her go clean up.

——— ——— ——— ———

Clarke had to make a quick exit from the house the day of Octavia’s bridal shower, Theo was being extremely clingy all morning. She could hear his heartbroken cries as she shut the front door. She felt a pang of guilt as she heard his cries. She honestly didn’t know why he was being so clingy this morning. She wasn’t sure if he was sick or tired or just felt like being clingy. She walked down to Harper’s car where Octavia, Raven and Aurora were waiting for her.

“Alright Clarkie, where are we going?” Raven smiled as Clarke got into the car.

“Well, Octavia is getting married, so we’re going to go to the bridal store so Octavia can try on dresses. After that, we’re going to lunch.” Clarke smiled as Harper started to drive.

Octavia couldn’t contain her excitement as they got to the bridal store. She practically skipped into the store with everyone following her with grins from ear to ear.

“So which one of you lovely ladies is our bride?” The assistant asked with a grin.

“I am!” Octavia practically squealed with happiness.

“Congratulations, why don’t you all follow me into our lounge and we’ll get you set up some champagne.” The assistant smiled widely and lead them into the lounge area.

“Clarke?” The manager smiled as she stopped Clarke. “Let’s step into my office and we can discuss the details.” She spoke discreetly while Octavia and the others were distracted.

Clarke followed the manager into the office. Once she was in the office, Clarke set a budget and handed over her credit card. Clarke was buying Octavia’s wedding dress as an engagement/wedding present as a surprise. By the time Clarke snuck back into the lounge, Octavia was being shown some options to go try on.

“Clarke, which one do you like the best?” Octavia asked with a grin as the assistant held up two dresses while the third was hanging on a hook on the wall.

“This is about you, O. Go try them all on.” Clarke smiled as she took a glass of champagne from the coffee table in front of her.

Octavia excitedly went into the change room with the assistant. While everyone broke out in chatter.

“I saw you sneak off with the manager,” Aurora spoke quietly with a smile. “What are you planning?”

“I’m buying O’s wedding dress.” Clarke smiled slowly.

“Clarke.” Aurora hugged Clarke tightly.

“I just want her to have her dream dress.” Clarke smiled as She pulled back slowly.

“She’s going to be so grateful.” Aurora wiped away her tears of happiness.

Octavia came out of the change room slowly wearing an ivory geometric organza bridal ball gown, draped V-neck bodice and beaded back piece, full skirt with pick up detail and tiered tulle underlay. Octavia was glowing with a huge grin as she stood up on the podium to the sound of a chorus of aws from the women sitting on the lounge.

“I love the shape and the beading piece on the back.” Octavia grinned slowly. “I’m just not too sure this suits us or me in general.”

“Alright let’s try on your second choice.” The assistant smiled leading Octavia back into the change room.

“I’m just going to check in with Bell, Theo wasn’t too happy when I left this morning,” Clarke spoke quickly as she got up and walked a few steps away dialling Bellamy’s number.

“Clarke, they’re fine,” Bellamy spoke as soon as he answered. “Theo was fine as soon as he got some banana.”

“I just felt bad, he was so heartbroken when I left,” Clarke spoke quietly.

“Go have fun.” Bellamy chuckled slowly.

“Thanks, Bell.” Clarke smiled and hung up before heading back to her seat.

Octavia emerged in a dress that suited her and Lincoln perfectly. It was a spaghetti strap dress, the bodice was covered floral appliqué that flowed down the A-line tulle skirt. Octavia had tears in her eyes as she stood up on the podium.

“It’s perfect.” Octavia smiled as she wiped away her tears. “Mom?”

“O, it’s beautiful.” Aurora smiled wiping away a few tears of her own.

“How much is it?” Octavia turned to the attendant slowly.

“It’s already taken care of.” The attendant smiled slowly.

“What?” Octavia covered her mouth slowly as the attendant pointed to Clarke. “I can’t let you.”

“Yes, you can. This dress is perfect.” Clarke smiled as the manager came in and passed Clarke her credit card. “It’s already paid for.”

“Clarke.” Octavia cried as she walked forward and hugged Clarke.

“You’re my family, O,” Clarke whispered. “You’re my sister, I want to see you happy.”

“Thank you,” Octavia whispered hugging Clarke tighter.

Chapter Text

A lot can change in 9 months and a lot did, not just in Clarke's life but in everybody's lives. Minerva and Theo had their first birthday, they were walking and talking. By early May, they were 16 months old and running around with their big sister. Madi had grown up so much, she was getting ready to start school after the summer, she was excited to be Octavia's flower girl and happy with her role of helping Minerva and Theo at the wedding, 'being the best big sister' as Octavia put it. Harper and Monty welcomed their baby boy Jordan into the world, Clarke felt sorry for Harper because her labour went on for a gruelling twenty-six hours but she faced it like a champ and was ecstatic to meet her little boy at the end of it. They had chosen the name Jordan after Jasper and the huge role he played in both of their lives, Jasper hadn't stopped boasting in the six months since Jordan's birth. Jordan was stealing hearts left, right and center. One of the most notable hearts he had stolen was Minerva's, she was obsessed with 'Jor' and every time she was around him, she'd hover over him and kiss his head. Harper, Monty and Clarke joked about arranging their marriage much to the dismay of Bellamy, who made his disapproval obvious, stating that 'Mini isn't dating until she's thirty'. Bellamy had become full time at the high school and was loving it. Their relationship had grown a lot closer and they were working together as a family unit, they worked through their issues and were slowly fighting less and less. Madi seemed to be obsessed with getting Mommy and Daddy to love each other, Clarke suspected that Octavia and Raven were behind this obsession.

 
Clarke sat down on the floor of the lounge room next to Bellamy after trying on Madi and Minerva's dresses for the wedding tomorrow. They needed to make sure they didn't need Aurora to do any last minute alterations, considering the kids grew so fast. Clarke smiled, resting her head on Bellamy's shoulder as she watched Minerva and Theo play with their blocks while Madi was colouring at the coffee table.

"Dada!" Theo squealed as he pointed at Bellamy.

"Dada." Minerva nodded, seemingly agreeing with her brother. "Beep Beep."

"Beep Beep." Theo turned his attention away from Bellamy to Minerva.

"Do you ever wonder what they're saying to each other?" Bellamy asked with a small chuckle.

"They're talking about Daddy's car and how they want to go for a drive." Clarke laughed quietly. "But they still can't say Mommy."

"Jealous, are we?" He eyes followed Minerva and Theo as they started to crawl around the floor, playing with their toy cars.

"I feel unloved." She pouted slowly. "Theo? Who's this?" She pointed as Bellamy.

"Dada," Theo responded promptly.

"Who's this?" She pointed at herself.

"No-no." Theo shook his head went back to playing.

"Mini will say it," Bellamy assured. "Mini? Can you say Momma?"

"No-no." Minerva shook her head just like Theo.

"It's because Mommy isn't the milk supplier anymore." Clarke smiled and got up. "I'm going to start dinner, I don't know if we should bath them tonight or in the morning before we head over to your Mom's to get ready."

"I gave them a bath today after they decided to play in the dirt," Bellamy spoke as he got up and followed her into the kitchen. "Why don't I just grab a shower and they can hop in with me?"

"Sounds good." She smiled as she started grabbing things out of the fridge to make dinner.

"When will Mommy have a shower with Daddy?" He smirked as he watched her.

"Let me think about that." She winked at him as she closed the fridge door.

Neither of them could lie, they wanted each other, over the months it was building up more and more but they haven't acted on it yet. They were getting better at hiding it from their friends and acting as natural as they possibly could with each other. However, away from their friends, their flirting and teasing was driving them insane. Their teasing of each other would get to the point of heavy petting, not really kissing except for a peck here and there. Maybe both of them had unconsciously made the decision not to kiss until they finally made the decision to move forward with each other, passed the teasing stage. the teasing stage was driving Clarke crazy, in the last nine months, she had to replace her vibrator twice because she was using it almost on a daily basis.

"You're driving me crazy, Clarke." Bellamy grabbed her by the ass and pulled her against him.

"Maybe I like driving you crazy," Clarke smirked and started to run her hand down his chest. "Go calm yourself down and go shower our kids." she pushed him away with a small laugh.

“Mommy?” Madi came into the kitchen after Bellamy left to take the two little kids upstairs.

“Yeah, baby?” Clarke smiled as she started chopping the vegetables for their dinner.

“O and Lincoln getting married tomorrow?” Madi climbed up onto the stool and watched her mother intently.

“That’s right,” Clarke smiled slowly and moved the chopped vegetables onto the baking tray.

“Then they go away?” Madi wrinkled her nose while her brow slowly started to furrow.

“For one week then they’ll be back.” Clarke put the chicken on the baking tray as she watched Madi, trying to figure her curious daughter out.

“We stay at Nanna’s tomorrow?” Madi’s brow furrowed deeper and her nose wrinkled more, when Madi started to purse her lips, Clarke knew she was thinking about something.

“Yep, you, Mini and Theo are staying at Nanna’s house tomorrow night. Miss Bree is going to pick you up and take you to Nanna’s then stay with you until Nanna gets home, okay?” Clarke explained quietly.

Bree was a local girl who babysat for Bellamy and Clarke from time to time when both Bellamy, Clarke and Aurora weren’t available. Aurora had planned it months ago that the kids would stay the night at her house and let Bellamy and Clarke have the night off. Both Bellamy and Clarke hadn’t had a kid free night in almost 4 months. The last kid-free night they had was Lincoln and Octavia’s joint bachelor/bachelorette party.

“I don’t like Miss Bree.” Madi’s frown grew deeper.

“Why baby?” Clarke put the tray in the oven and turned to Madi with a slight frown.

“She likes daddy.” Madi made a fake puking sound that made Clarke laugh quietly.

“Did she tell you that?” Clarke wiped down the bench slowly.

“No, but she said Daddy was hot.” Madi crossed her arms. “You say someone is hot because you like them.”

“Who told you that?” Clarke knew exactly who she was talking about.

“O and Birdie said that you think daddy is hot and that you like daddy,” Madi explained easily.

“What are your aunties teaching you?” Clarke shook her head slowly. “Do you think you can do Mommy a favour?”

“Yeah,” Madi spoke with a sigh.

“I need you to look after Mini and Theo while you’re with miss Bree until Nanna comes home.” Clarke leant over the bench and smiled at her daughter.

“Yeah.” Madi sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes. “Can Ro come to Nanna’s?”

“Yeah, we’ll bring him with us when we go over to get ready. Chewy is going to be there too.” Clarke was trying to hold back at her daughter’s behaviour.

************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********

 
After the kids had gone to bed, Clarke settled down on the couch next to Bellamy. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as the documentary he had picked started to play.

“Madi said she doesn’t like Bree.” Clarke sighed resting her head on Bellamy’s shoulder.

“Did she say why?” His arm tightened around her.

“Madi thinks Bree likes you.” She mumbled quietly.

Bellamy threw his head back and Clarke pulled away slightly, narrowing her eyes at him.

“You slept with our babysitter?” He voice was low as she continued to narrow her eyes at him. “Way to be a cliche, Bellamy.” She moved away from him.

“Back in high school. It happened once with Roma.” He clarified as he watched her.

 
"A threesome?" She slowly moved to the other side of the couch. "Fucking hell," she whispered quietly.

 
"Clarke." he watched her carefully.

 
"How maybe people in our lives have you slept with?" she could feel the jealousy building up in her, she hadn't felt this jealous before, not even when girls would be all over Roan. This was worse. much worse.

 
"Clarke, it's not like that and you know it." He sighed running a hand through his mop of curls.

 
"Am I going to find out that you slept with one of my bartenders next?" she rambled ignoring what he said.

 
“Are you jealous?” A smirk played on his lips as he watched her.

 
Silence. God, he could read her like a book. she thought.

 
He raised his eyebrow slowly but he still no answer.

 
“Clarke.” He leant over and grabbed her by her hips, picking her up easily, making her straddle his him. “You know I haven’t been with anyone since last summer. If you want this you’ve just got to say the word.”

Bellamy reached up and laced his fingers into her hair, his thumb gently stroked her cheek while his other arm stayed hooked around her waist. Clarke wanted it, he wanted what he was offering her. She wanted the love. The companionship. The sex. she wanted it all. She wanted him. all of him, his body and his heart. Most importantly his heart.

“I’m ready whenever you are. I’m not going anywhere, I’m right here.” He pressed his forehead to hers as he held her close.

 
Clarke closed her eyes slowly, trying to gather up the courage to say the word that they both wanted her to say. The word that would mean they didn't have to hide what they want. the word that meant that they didn't have to tease each other anymore. The word let them be together.

“Together,” Clarke whispered quietly.

A smile lit up Bellamy's face, his eyes watched her with pure love and happiness. he kissed her gently, pulling her closer, his hands searching for more. He could be blamed, nine months of teasing was building up to this. Clarke rolled her hips against him with a smirk, causing him to groan and grip her hips tightly.

“Clarke.” He groaned against her lips.

A little more teasing won't hurt. Clarke thought with a smirk and climbed off Bellamy’s lap before standing up.

“You know what, I should get to bed, it’s going to a big day tomorrow,” Clarke spoke quietly with a small yawn before walking upstairs.

By the time Clarke got to her bedroom, Bellamy was behind her, his hands on her waist. He pressed a gentle kiss on her bare shoulder next to her tank strap.

“What are you doing?” Clarke spoke in a hushed whisper as they walked into her room.

 
She knew what he was doing but she wanted to tease him a little longer.

“Going to bed with my girlfriend.” He turned her around to face him.

Bellamy calling her his girlfriend made her heart skip a beat and butterflies to form him her stomach. She couldn't stop the smile forming on her face.

“Girlfriend huh?” She smiled up at him.

 
Saying it herself made the butterflies worse and her smile wider.

“Together, remember?” He smiled slowly.

 
The word together meant so much more to her now. This was the start of their new story together, not as friends or just co-parents but together.

“Together.” She agreed and gave him a kiss.

 
That's enough teasing. She thought to herself.

 
“Let me help you with that.” She nodded down at the bulge in his pants.

She pushes him to sit on the bed against the headboard, a smirk played on her lips as she kelt on the bed. Bellamy hissed as she freed him from his pyjama pants. A loud moan left his lips as she ran her tongue along the entire length of him, from the base to the tip. His second moan was a whimpering kind as she took him into her mouth. She started a steady rhythm as he gathered her hair up in his hand as she continued bobbing her head. One of her hands kept her steady on the bed while the other gripped the base of his cock, squeezing it gently in the same rhythm.

 
"Clarke..." Bellamy moaned loudly. "Fuck." his breathing was starting to pick up.

 
Clarke took this as a sign to pick up her pace a little more. She knew he wasn't going to be able to hold on for much longer. She kept her pace steady as his hips started to buck up, making her take more of his length. He quickly reached his peak and erupted in her mouth. She swallowed as much as she could but the remaining spilt on her hand, she took her time ensuring he was clean. When she finally sat up, she watched Bellamy carefully. His eyes were closed and he his chest was heaving slightly.

 
Clarke took this time to get off the bed and walked into the ensuite to wash her hands. While she brushed her teeth, Bellamy walked up behind her, kissed the curve of her neck with a smile.

 
"That was amazing." He whispered in her ear after she finished brushing her teeth. "Let me take care of you." he pulled her closer.

 
"We should head to bed, it's late." Clarke turned around in his arms. "We have the house to ourselves tomorrow night." she gave him a small chaste kiss before walking over to the bed again.

 
"Can't wait." He followed her to the bed and leant down to kiss her. "Can we keep this to ourselves for now? I'm not ready for the onslaught from everyone."

 
"You read my mind." Clarke smiled easily. "Plus it'll be fun to sneak around. If Madi sees us she'll tell Octavia and Raven. They've trained her well."

 
"Trust my sister to corrupt our daughter." He rolled his eyes and settled down in bed next to her. "I'll set in an alarm to make sure I'm out before the kids wake up. I just want to hold you tonight." he smiled and pulled her into his arms, letting her rest her head on his chest.

 
Clarke felt herself relax in his arms, she felt him press a kiss to the top of her head as she started to drift off.

************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********

Clarke couldn't remember a more hectic morning then the morning of Octavia's wedding. Octavia was stressed wanting everything to be perfect and Clarke as the unofficial maid of honour was running around like crazy. Octavia didn't assign the role of Maid of honour because she couldn't choose between Raven and Clarke, so they both were her unofficial maids of honour. Raven was busy trying to steam everyone's dresses, Maya was on a coffee run for everyone, Harper was busy breastfeeding Jordan and Aurora was at the church helping put out the flowers with the help of Monty and Murphy. This left Clarke with her hands full, she was trying to make the kids were calm while also making sure everything else was ready to go. Clarke was the most stressed out because Octavia was freaking out because the hairdresser was late and the time was ticking on how long they had before the wedding. the time they had left wasn't going to be enough time to do everyone's hair.

 
"What the hell are we supposed to do?" Octavia panicked trying not cry because she was in the middle of getting her make up done.

 
"It's fine, O," Clarke assured quietly. "I'm going to do Mini and Madi's hair after that I'll start my own, when Harper finishes feeding Jordan she can do her hair and Raven's. Maya's hair is already done. When the hairdresser gets here, she just has to do yours. There's still plenty of time."

 
"Thank you," Octavia whispered taking a deep breath.

 
"I'm going to start Mini and Madi's hair." Clarke smiled before walking downstairs.

 
Bellamy was walking into the house when she got down to the bottom of the stairs. He smiled at her slowly with a small wink.

 
"I thought I could help out with the kids, so you guys can get ready." He smiled slowly and looked around slowly, making sure no one was around before he gave her a quick kiss.

 
"Thank you, today has been stressful." Clarke huffed out. "The kids are watching a movie, I'm about to grab Madi so I could start doing her hair."

 
"How about help you relieve some stress before you disturb the kids?" He smirked before she could answer, he was pulling her towards the laundry, knowing that was the only place they wouldn't get caught. "try to keep quiet." he smirked and picked her up, placing her on top of the washing machine.

 
He opened her legs and kissed her inner thigh with a smirk. He started to pull her silk pyjama shorts off and she lifted herself up to help him slide them off her. He got down on his knees, pulling her closer to the edge before hooking her legs over his shoulders. He kissed up her thigh torturously slow.

 
"Bell." She panted already significantly wet. "We don't have a lot of time, I have so much to do." She whispered, still panting.

 
"It'll be worth it," he smirked before ran his finger down her sleek slit causing her to moan quietly.

 
When he pressed a gentle kiss on her clit, Clarke's whole body to shake, in tune making Bellamy chuckle against her. The vibrations of his chuckle caused her to lurch forward, gripping his head as a loud moan escaped her lips.

 
"You've got to keep it down, we're gonna get caught," he mumbled against her making the vibrations more intense causing her to bite down on her lip to muffle her moans.

 
Fuck. Clarke thought, knowing that she was going to last long. Her body was shaking and she was almost to the edge. when he took her clit into her mouth and started to suck on it, she was a goner. Her body shook violently as she held onto his head. she leant back huffing, still coming down, still shaking.

 
"How was that?" Bellamy smirked as he stood up wiping his mouth slowly.

 
"Mhm..." was all she managed to get out between her laboured breaths.

 
Bellamy chuckled and pressed a kiss to Clarke's forehead. He grabbed her shorts and started to pull up her legs before picking her up to pull them onto her properly. He kept an arm around her waist as he put her on her feet.

 
"Such a gentleman." Clarke smiled and kissed him slowly.

************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********

The music started to play and Madi walked down the aisle holding Minerva and Theo's hands. Minerva and Madi were wearing matching halter neck long dresses that were somewhere between an ivory colour and a bone white. Madi's hair was curled into beach waves and both girls were wearing baby's breath flower crowns. Theo was wearing dress pants that were in the same colour as the girls' dresses, a white dress shirt and suspenders, he was matching Lincoln exactly, down to having his sleeves rolled up to the exact amount. Madi and the kids went to sit next to Tybe in the front row. The bridesmaids were walking in next, Maya went first, then Harper, Raven and finally Clarke. They were all wearing a pale sage green chiffon off the shoulder dress, with loose short sleeves which were more like just a piece of chiffon that draped down there arms. There was a slit in the dress up to the knee that let one of their legs poke out when they walked. Their hair was curled and half pulled back with baby's breath flowers pinned into the back. They all took their spots at the altar before the doors opened. Octavia looked breathtaking, her dress fit her perfectly. Her long hair was curled and half up in an intricate braid that had baby's breath pinned into it, she decided not to have a veil because she found it too traditional. Bellamy and Aurora were walking her down the aisle, both of them were grinning ear to ear. Once they reached the altar, Aurora kissed Octavia's cheek gently before sitting next to Tybe. Bellamy kissed Octavia's cheek gently before taking his spot with the groomsmen. Lincoln was grinning from ear to ear, tears obvious in his eyes as he took Octavia's hand gently. Clarke had never seen Octavia so happy than she was in this moment.

 
"Marriage is a sacred union. A union that binds two souls together as one." The minister started to speak. "Their union is a union of love. Their union is an expression of their love. Lincoln and Octavia have asked you here to share in their love because you are the ones that have loved and supported them." He smiled as he looked around the room. "Attending a wedding can make us reflect on our own relationships and the love we share in those. Watching these two share their love can make you want to love and cherish your own even more."

 
That line made Clarke look at Bellamy, her heart beating a little faster because he was already looking at her smiling. He mouthed the word together and she mouthed it back immediately. She felt her heart swell as she watched him with a smile.

 
"Lincoln and Octavia decided to write their own vows to express their love to each other." The minister's words drew Clarke's attention again.

 
"Lincoln, since the day I met you, you taught me so many things, to love, not only you but myself. You taught me to value myself, believe in myself and to follow my dreams." Octavia's voice was full of emotions and Clarke could tell that she was trying hard not to cry. "I never thought I could find someone who loves me like you do. Being in love with you has brought me so much happiness and I can't wait to start our future together. Today is the start of our forever and I promise to always be there for you, through the ups and downs, the good times and the bad times. I promise to love you and care for you. I love you Lincoln and always will."

 
"I've gained so much since I've met you, I immediately became a part of your family. Your friends are a part of your family and I love that. I remember coming home with you for a weekend and all of a sudden I became an uncle to a little girl who stole my heart just like her aunt. I've never had someone in my life who is willing to drop everything to help me. Someone who is willing to finish her degree online because I got a job here in an art gallery. I'm not going to lie, it hasn't always been easy but together I know we can face anything." Lincoln wiped one of his eyes quickly, making Octavia let out a small giggle. "Today, I give you my name, my soul, my everything. I love you Octavia and always will." They exchanged rings quietly, smiling and whispering 'I love you' to each other.

"Octavia, do you take Lincoln to be your husband? To have and to hold, from this day until your last?" The minister smiled slowly.

 
"I do." Octavia grinned as she blinked away happy tears.

 
"Lincoln, do you take Octavia to be your wife? To have and to hold, from this day until your last?" The minister smiled between the couple.

 
"I do," Lincoln spoke quietly as he held Octavia's hands gently.

 
"By the power invested in me, I pronounce you Man and Wife." The minister grinned wider. "You may kiss your bride."

 
Lincoln smiled before tipping Octavia back to kiss her to a chorus of cheers from everyone in the church including Madi who was jumping up and down clapping.

"I'd like to present you, Mr and Mrs Lincoln Woods." The minister announced when the newlywed couple came up for air.

 
Octavia and Lincoln walked down the aisle slowly, greeting people along the way and thanking them for coming. Each bridesmaid was paired off with a groomsman. Maya with Jasper, Harper with Monty, Raven with Murphy and Clarke was with Bellamy. Lincoln opted out of a best man when Octavia decided to not have a maid of honour. Bellamy and Clarke were the first pair off after Lincoln and Octavia had made it out the door. Clarke took his arm and smiled up at him as they walked back down the aisle.

 
"You look amazing," Bellamy whispered quietly with a small smile.

 
"You're looking very handsome yourself," Clarke whispered back as she looked up at him.

 
"I love you." He whispered in her ear just before the got out of the church and whisked away for photos.

************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********

Clarke leant against one of the pillars holding a glass of wine as she watched Bellamy talk to one of Lincoln's cousins, Ivy. He was smiling and laughing at their conversation. Ivy was flirting, that was clear and it wasn't surprising, Bellamy looked damn good in the suit he was wearing. The sleeves of his shirt were now rolled up and he undid the first three buttons of his shirt. Clarke was jealous, it was burning up inside her but she knew he wasn't doing anything wrong. Clarke pushed off the pillar and walked outside to the balcony. It was a beautiful evening and the sun was starting to set. After a few minutes, Raven walked outside slowly with Minerva and Theo following behind her with huge grins.

 
"Birdie!"Minerva squealed as she followed Raven.

 
"Birdie!" Theo echoed with a squeal.

 
"They can say my name." Raven beamed happily.

 
"Ask them what my name is." Clarke raised an eyebrow at Raven.

 
"Who's this?" Raven crouched down so she could be at eye level with them.

 
"No no." Theo shook his head.

 
"No no." Minerva echoed.

 
"Should Mommy go bye-bye?" Clarke asked with a small pout.

 
"Bye bye bye bye." Minerva and Theo said in sync as they started to wave at Clarke.

 
"Don't you love Mommy?" Raven asked them while trying to hold back a laugh.

 
"No no." Minerva shook her head.

 
"No no," Theo mumbled getting distracted by the sleeve of Raven's dress.

 
"Damn that's cold." Raven straightened up slowly.

 
"Wait until you see when Bellamy's around. That's when I don't exist." Clarke gave a small laugh. "This never happened with Madi but apparently it's common." She took a sip of her champagne. "It sucks," she admitted as the kids started to play.

 
"No no!" Theo screamed as he ran towards Clarke.

 
Clarke scooped Theo up quickly, kissing his head, trying to soothe him while she looked around to try and find what scared him.

 
"He doesn't look like he's Roan's at all." A voice spoke and made Clarke roll her eyes.

 
"DNA doesn't lie Luna." Clarke turned to find Luna walking towards her, Raven scooped up Minerva quickly.

 
"Where the hell did you get that ring?" Luna frowned deeply as she stared at the ring on Clarke's right hand.

 
"What's it to you?" Raven asked, her annoyance obvious.

 
"That's Roan's grandmother's ring. Why the hell are you wearing it?" Luna narrowed her eyes at Clarke.

 
"If it'll make you shut up, it's the ring Roan proposed to me with." Clarke sighed slowly.

 
"You shouldn't be wearing it." Luna crossed her arms eyeing the ring. "That ring was supposed to be mine."

 
"Well it's not, it's mine." Clarke shook her head. "Come on Raven, Bree is here to pick the kids up." She said quickly before walking inside with Raven close behind her.

 
"I'll help Bree put them in the car, go get yourself another drink and try to forget the b-i-t-c-h," Raven spoke quietly. "Say bye to Mommy." she flashed a smile at both kids.

 
"Bye-bye," Theo mumbled and pushed to be put down.

 
"Bye baby," Clarke whispered kissing his head before putting him down slowly.

 
"Bye-bye," Minerva mumbled and Clarke kissed her head as Bree walked over to them with Madi.

 
"It's okay, I'll take them, Madi will help me." Bree smiled and Theo immediately walked over to Madi.

 
"Bee!!!" Minerva squealed reaching for Bree.

"Mommy?" Madi asked quietly and Clarke immediately couched down so she was eye level with Madi.

 
"Yeah, baby?" Clarke spoke quietly.

"I love you," Madi whispered and hugged Clarke tightly.

 
"I love you too baby." Clarke smiled and hugged her daughter back tightly. "I'll come with Daddy tomorrow and pick you guys up, okay?"

 
"Okay." Madi nodded before leaving with Bree.

 
Clarke watched them leave as Raven disappeared to find Murphy. Clarke grabbed a drink from the bar and sat at her assigned seat at the table while she watched everyone around her. Clarke turned to see Bellamy and Ivy still talking with her flirting like crazy, she would laugh and touch his chest every now and then. Clarke sighed talking a long sip of her Gin and Tonic before getting up and walking outside to the now empty balcony, seeing that it was dark out there. The jealousy was burning inside her and she hated it. She sighed and walked down the steps off the balcony into the garden below, she sat down on one of the benches slowly. She was out of sight unless you were really looking around. She just needed a breather. She sighed quietly and took a long sip of her drink.

 
"Clarke?" Bellamy's voice made her jump slightly.

 
"You scared me," Clarke spoke quietly as she gave him a small smile.

 
"I know that look." He spoke quietly as he sat next to her. "You gave me that look last night."

 
"I can't help it." She admitted with a sigh. "I don't like people flirting with what's mine."

 
"I love you." He chuckled and kissed her gently, knowing no one would see them.

 
"I love you too." She whispered after she pulled away slightly, it was early into them dating but honestly, she had known this for years, even after everything that had gone on when they broke up and she told him she was pregnant, a part of her still loved him. It never went away, she just buried it, from herself mostly, she didn't want to admit she still loved him. She never really stopped. She denied it to herself but now there was no more denying it.

 
"You don't need to be jealous," he whispered as he put his hand on her cheek gently. "This morning, I was on my knees worshipping you and I plan on doing a lot more of that." His voice sent shivers down her spine.

 
He kissed her again gently as his thumb stroked her cheek gently.

 
"I'm sorry," she mumbled quietly.

"Don't be, I like it when you're jealous." He smirked. "It's kinda hot." He stood up slowly and pulled her up gently. "Let's go back inside."

************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********

Clarke felt like she was sixteen, she was getting butterflies because Bellamy was holding her hand under the table. She wanted to curse at herself for being so immature. He held her hand through the speeches and only let go of it once he stood up for his. His speech was short and brief, he spoke about how he loved Octavia and was so proud of her. he spoke about how Lincoln was a good guy and no one, not even him could deny how much they love each other. Bellamy held her hand tighter as they watched Lincoln and Octavia had their first dance before dinner, Octavia wanted to have their dance before dinner because she was nervous as all hell for it. Honestly, she didn't need to be, she was beautiful and together they were graceful. After the meal, Bellamy gave her hand a quick squeeze before he got up and went to talk to Ivy again.

 
"I'm pretty sure Lincoln's cousins have a betting pool on who's going to sleep with him tonight." Raven nodded over at Bellamy who was talking to Ivy as a few more of Lincoln's cousins slowly started to migrate over to them. "I heard them talking about it in the bathroom."

 
"Could you imagine if Luna was apart of it?" Clarke let out a quiet laugh and looked at her friend with an amused smirk.

 
"I'm proud of Theo's reaction to her, he's got good senses about people," Raven spoke quietly.

 
"He knows when he doesn't like someone." Clarke smiled slowly as she watched her friend's gaze fall on Bellamy again.

 
"I'm not going to lie, Bell is looking damn good tonight," Raven smirked as she watched Bellamy reach up and run his hand through his hair. "I'd go back there, just so I could get a cute kid."

 
"I'm sitting right here." Murphy piped up from his seat next to Raven in his usual sarcastic tone.

"You could watch." Raven deadpanned making Murphy smirk, pulling her into a quick kiss. "Let's go dance." Raven smiled as she watched others start to go to the dance floor.

"Only because it's you." Murphy stood up slowly pulling Raven up with him.

"Clarke?" Raven asked quietly.

 
Clarke almost didn't hear her, she zoned out looking around the dance floor to see people starting to couple up to start dancing. She saw Bellamy being pulled to the dance floor by Ivy and he bumped into her when she stopped walking suddenly, making them both laugh.

 
"Go, it's okay." Clarke turned to Raven with a smile slowly.

 
Clarke watched Raven and Murphy go off to the dance floor followed by Monty, Harper, Jasper and Maya. Clarke didn't mind being left alone, she wasn't really the dancing kind, never had been. She was perfectly contempt with watching everyone else dance. Clarke smiled slowly as she watched all of the couples dance, she smiled when she saw Aurora with Tybe, he was holding her close and kissing the top of her head gently.

 
"Why are you all by yourself?" A voice spoke behind Clarke, she turned to find one of Lincoln's cousins, River standing behind her.

 
River was one of Lincoln's older cousins, he was in his early thirties with the same tanned skin and short hair as Lincoln. Lincoln came from a huge family, he had no siblings but he had more than 30 cousins and a lot of aunts and uncles. It was obvious that Lincoln's family dominated the wedding guests. Clarke knew that River was Luna's brother so she wasn't too excited for their exchange.

 
"I'm not one for dancing." Clarke spoke quietly.

 
"I'm River." He grinned as he took Bellamy's seat next to her.

 
"I'm Clarke." She gave him a small smile.

"Your Clarke? You're the one who messed with Roan's will." He spoke with a slight scoff.

A sigh left Clarke's lips as she looked down before getting up slowly.

 
"Whatever." Clarke mumbled before walking away, she weaved her way through the wedding guests to the bar but was stopped by Bellamy catching her by the arm.

 
"I want you to meet someone." Bellamy smiled.

 
"Soon, I need some air." Clarke spoke quietly before turning to walk out to the balcony.

 
"Clarke?" Bellamy followed her out and down the stairs to the garden.

 
Clarke didn't say anything, she just hugged him tightly and he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

 
"You okay?" He asked quietly not letting go of her.

 
"Yeah, I just needed to get out for a while," she whispered.

 
"Clarke." he pulled away slowly. "What happened?"

 
"There were just some comments made about Roan's will have kind of just thrown me in a loop." She admitted with a sigh.

 
"Don't listen to them." He pulled her close and gave her a small kiss. "What do I have to do to get a dance with you?" He asked quietly.

 
"Just ask." She mumbled and looked down slowly.

"Dance with me?" He whispered, lifting her chin gently so she'd look at him.

 
"I'd love to." She whispered and gave him a gentle kiss.

 
He smiled and lead her back into the reception and straight to the dance floor. He pulled her close as they started to sway in time with the music. He winced quietly when she accidentally stepped on his foot.

 
"I'm sorry." Clarke frowned but he pulled her closer with his lips to her ear.

 
"You're lucky I love you." he chuckled quietly as he made sure to lead her carefully as the song played on. 

************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********

Clarke wished she was able to see more of Octavia and Lincoln at the reception but she understood that they had plenty of people there to see them. She was able to give them a quick goodbye before they left the reception. Clarke ordered an uber half an hour after they left, the party was still going pretty strong but she and Bellamy were calling it an early night. Bellamy started kissing her neck as soon as the car drove off causing a giggle to leave her mouth. They made out shamelessly in the back of the uber. He pulled her out of the uber and into the house cause her to giggle loudly. As soon as the front door was closed, he unzipped her dress slowly and let it fall off her before he picked her up, letting her legs hook around his waist.

 
"Your mine?" he growled against her neck as they got up to his bedroom.

 
"Always," Clarke whispered holding his head between her hands, giving him a gentle kiss.

 
He laid her down onto the bed gently before kissing down her body gently before unbuttoning his shirt slowly with a smirk. She leant up and kissed him slowly as she started to unbutton his pants. Bellamy stood up off the bed and let his pants drop before pulling off his briefs.

 
"I'm one fucking lucky man." He smirked as he ran his hand up her leg from her ankle before hooking his thumbs into the side of her underwear. "Fucking perfect." he smiled a genuinely happy smile as he pulled her underwear off slowly before unclipping her bra in one quick movement.

 
He ran his finger along her slit, Clarke watched his cock twitch when he touched her and she moaned quietly. He planted a kiss on her hip before he moved up to meet her lips in a passionate kiss. She pulled away from his kiss, moaning as he rubbed himself against her entrance.

 
"Condom, Bell." She whispered as she breathed heavily.

 
He reached into his top draw, the movement caused him to push inside her, they moaned in unison before he pulled out to put the condom on. He pushed into her again, this time a little further causing her to moan loudly as he started to stretch her. She forgot how big he was, he was stretching her, it hurt but it was so good.

 
"Fuck." He moaned quietly as he pushed in further.

 
"Bell." She moaned loudly as she wrapped her legs around his waist letting him slip in deeper.

 
Bellamy started to move at a steady pace, slipping his arms under her so that he could hold her close. She moaned loudly into his mouth as she kissed him. She could feel herself tightening around him and she moaned louder as his movements picked up his pace.

 
"You're so tight." He moaned as he held her closer, his becoming even faster, the tighter she became around him.

 
Her moans were growing louder and she threw her head back, she ran her hands down his back. She was on the edge, her body quivering under him.

 
"Cum for me," he growled, biting down on her neck gently.

 
"Bell." She cried out as his pace picked up, tipping her over the edge.

 
Her body quivered, she tightened down on him even more as she cried out. A few hard, powerful thrusts and Bellamy was spent, he hovered over her for a few moments before rolling off her pulling her close, kissing the top of her head.

 
After a few minutes, Clarke yawned loudly, already starting to drift her off when Bellamy kissed the top of her head gently. The bedroom was only lit by the moonlight that was coming in through the window.

 
"I love you," Bellamy mumbled quietly. 

"I love you too." Clarke smiled and let up kissing him quietly.

 
"I'm happy we're doing this." He smiled kissing the top of her head. "I want to complete our family. Get married, have a few more kids." he ran his hand down her back.

 
"Married, Bell? We only just figured this out." She turned to look at him.

 
"I meant down the road." He chuckled loudly. "You didn't oppose having more kids." He smirked slowly brushing her hair out of her face.

 
"I wouldn't mind having another baby in two or three years times." She spoke quietly. "Or maybe when Theo and mini are at school."

 
"We can talk about that later along the line." He smiled and kissed her slowly before she pulled away yawning. "Let's get some sleep." He pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head gently.

Chapter Text

Clarke smiled as she walked through the bar, clearing tables. It was a busy night but she couldn’t complain about it. She took the tub to the back room and loaded the glasses into the dishwasher. She didn’t mind doing any of the jobs in the bar, she loved this bar and wanted this place to be the best that it could be. She was finalising a deal on buying the restaurant next door so they could expand the bar and start serving food as well. It was a big change and it needed to be planned out flawlessly before they start construction on that half before they closed the bar for two weeks while they knock down the adjoining wall and made the finishing touches. That wasn’t going to start for a few more months.
 
Clarke pulled her hair up into a ponytail before walking out into the bar area again. She glanced around the bar trying to see what needed her attention the most. Octavia and Atom were tending the bar with ease while Anya topped up the ice wells. Clarke glanced at Octavia who just nodded. Clarke’s ear’s perked up when she heard an argument across the other side of the bar.
 
“Atom, get security,” Clarke called out as she weaved through the crowd.
 
She made it through the crowd to the two males that were squaring off. Clarke got in between them and pushed the men apart.
 
“Not in my bar,” Clarke growled keeping herself between them, waiting for security to get through the crowd.
 
“Fucking asshole!” One of the men yelled pushing against Clarke to get to the other man.
 
“Step back!” Clarke growled louder as she pushed the man back.
 
The guy who was yelling lunged forward, aiming his fist at the guy he was fighting with but in his drunken stupor hit Clarke in the eye instead. Clarke groaned as she held her eye, Security grabbed the man, pulling him out of the bar. Clarke recovered quickly and walked back to the back room. Octavia walked into the back room holding a towel with ice in it.
 
“You okay?” Octavia asked quietly as she put the towel to Clarke’s eye.
 
“Yeah, I should’ve just waited for security.” Clarke winced slightly.
 
“Why don’t you head home? We’ve got it covered here.” Octavia smiled slowly.
 
“I might actually.” Clarke nodded slowly. “I’ve got to pack for the kids for the 4th of July trip.”
 
They were all heading to the lake house again for the 4th of July, they were staying for a full week this time because Bellamy didn’t have to go to work. They were leaving in two days and honestly, Clarke was excited to sneak around with Bellamy at the lake house.
 
“Go home,” Octavia encouraged with a smile. “You’ve got a shiner coming up.”
 
“I can feel it.” Clarke laughed quietly. “Alright, I’m going home.”
 
 
************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********
 
 
Clarke walked through the front door and put her keys down quietly, she wanted to surprise Bellamy. She toed off her boots and walked upstairs silently. She found Bellamy laying on her bed reading, his glasses were starting to slip down the bridge of his nose. Clarke thought he looked so sexy like this, shirtless, shorts hanging low on his hips, hair messy and his glasses on. She knew he didn’t particularly like the way he looked when he was wearing his glasses but she loved it. His brow furrowed his brow as he turned the page. She pushed the door open more and watched his head snap up, a smile spread across his face immediately.
 
“You’re home early.” Bellamy smiled slowly as Clarke walked over to the bed slowly, he lurched forward as soon as he saw her eye. “What the hell happened?”
 
“I was breaking up a fight at the bar, the idiot was trying to punch another guy but missed. I’m fine, security kicked them out.” She assured as she sat on the edge of the bed.
 
“Are you sure?” His voice was full of concern as he put his hand on her cheek gently.
 
“I’m sure. I’m going to get into the shower, I smell like a distillery.” She leant forward and gave him a gentle kiss.
 
“Let’s take a shower then.” He smiled slowly, following her to the bathroom.
 
He lifted her shirt up over her head and planted a kiss on her shoulder. She slipped off her shorts and underwear as he turned the shower on. Bellamy turned around and kissed her slowly as he unhooked her bra.
 
“I love you.” Clarke smiled up at him.
 
“I love you too.” He gave her a gentle kiss before they got into the shower.
 
Bellamy took the body wash and started to wash her back gently. His hands moved down her back and over her ass.
 
“Just relax.” He whispered and kissed her neck.
 
Clarke relaxed with her back against his chest as he washed the rest of her body. He kissed her cheek and before he started to wash her hair gently. His fingers massaged her scalp gently before rinsing her hair.
 
“That feels so good.” Clarke smiled and gave him a kiss.
 
“Good, let me finish.” He smiled and grabbed the conditioner.
 
He massaged the conditioner into hair before he rinsed the conditioner meticulously. He pulled her closer, holding her close to his chest, kissing the top of her head gently. A knock on the door made Clarke pull away and turn off the water.
 
“Mommy?” Madi’s voice echoed through the door.
 
“Give me a second baby, Mommy just has to put her robe on,” Clarke called back as she got out of the shower with Bellamy close behind her.
 
Clarke put her robe on while Bellamy wrapped a towel around himself and positioned himself behind the door. Clarke slipped out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her to find Madi waiting for her by the bed with Ro beside her. Madi had tears streaks down her cheeks.
 
“Hey, baby, what’s wrong?” Clarke knelt down in front of her, her voice was full of worry as wiped Madi’s cheeks.
 
“There’s a monster under my bed and I couldn’t find daddy.” Madi sobbed and wrapped her arms around Clarke’s neck.
 
“baby, it’s okay.” Clarke stood up, holding Madi close. “How about Mommy makes you a hot chocolate then we’ll get daddy to check under your bed and makes sure Ro protects you?”
 
“Yeah,” Madi mumbled as she rested her cheek against Clarke’s shoulder.
 
“Let’s go, baby.” Clarke kissed her head and started to walk downstairs.
 
Clarke sat Madi on the bench and started to gather everything to make the hot chocolate. Madi watched Clarke carefully as Bellamy came downstairs, dressed.
 
“Hey Madz, what are you doing up?” Bellamy kissed Madi’s head gently and Madi leapt into his arms.
 
“There’s a monster under my bed.” Madi sobbed into Bellamy’s chest.
 
“Nothing’s going to hurt you, daddy promises.” Bellamy held her close and kissed her head. “Want daddy to go check it out?”
 
“Yeah.” Madi nodded as she pulled away. “Take Ro with you.”
 
Bellamy nodded and went upstairs with the dog following happily behind him. Clarke poured three cups of hot chocolate before picking up Madi from the bench, putting her down on the ground so she could carry all of the hot chocolate cups.
 
“Let’s go watch a movie baby.” Clarke smiled and picked up the mugs, following Madi to the lounge room, settling down on the couch with her.
 
A loud knock at the front door made Madi scream terrified as Bellamy raced down the stairs.
 
“It’s okay baby,” Clarke whispered holding Madi close to her chest as the little girl cried.
 
“What the hell man?” Bellamy's voice grumbled after he opened the front door. “Madz, It’s okay, It’s just Uncle Murphy and Aunt Birdie,” Bellamy assured as he walked into the lounge room with them.
 
“I don’t like you, doo doo.” Madi sobbed as she curled up on Clarke’s lap.
 
“Does the little baby need her Mommy?” Murphy teased as he slumped down onto one of the bean bags.
 
“Shut up doo doo,” Madi mumbled as Clarke held her close.
 
“Drink your hot chocolate baby.” Clarke encouraged passing her daughter her mug of hot chocolate.
 
“Murphy locked us out of our apartment,” Raven explained sitting in the lounge chair. “Can we crash here? I can get the landlord to open our door in the morning?”
 
“Yeah, of course,” Clarke spoke quietly and took the mug off Madi as she started to doze off, exhausted.
 
“Bell? Can you put her in bed?” Clarke looked up at him and he was already picking up. “Thanks, Bell. You guys can sleep in the guest room.”
 
“Thanks, Clarkie.” Raven smiled and went upstairs, pulling Murphy along with her.
 
Clarke walked upstairs to her bedroom and settled down into bed, accepting the fact that she was going to be sleeping alone. Bellamy slept with her most nights and one of them would sneak back into their own room before Madi woke up. Clarke grabbed one of the pillows and cuddled it as she settled into sleep. She felt lonely to be completely honest, she missed having him with her to cuddle.
 
“Clarke?” Raven’s voice echoed through her room as the door creaked open.
 
“Yeah?” Clarke spoke up as Raven crept into the room, closing the door and crawling into the bed.
 
“Murphy passed out,” Raven explained as she laid next to Clarke. “I have to tell you something,” Raven whispered quietly.
 
“What?” Clarke eyed her friend in the dim light of her bedroom.
 
“I think I’m pregnant,” Raven whispered quietly, her voice was unsteady and full of worry.
 
“Have you taken a test?” Clarke asked quietly as she analysed her friend’s reactions.
 
“No, I’m scared,” Raven admitted quietly, taking a deep shaky breath.
 
“Hey, it’s okay.” Clarke pulled her into a tight hug. “I’ve got a spare test here if you want to take it.”
 
“Yeah,” Raven whispered, hugging Clarke tightly.
 
“Come on.” Clarke got up, pulling Raven along with her to the bathroom. “How late are you?”
 
 
“Two weeks,” Raven admitted as Clarke riffled through her draws until she found the box of tests.
 
“Just pee on the end of the stick,” Clarke spoke quietly as she watched Raven look upset again. “Hey, it’s okay.” She hugged Raven tightly. “It’ll all be okay.”
 
“I’ve just got to man up and take this test,” Raven said firmly and Clarke quickly got out of the bathroom, letting Raven have some privacy.
 
Clarke sat on the bed and grabbed her phone when it went off. She smiled at the text Bellamy sent her.
 
Bell: Madi wants to sleep with me, sorry babe. I love you x
 
Clarke: That’s okay, she’s having a rough night. I love you too x
 
Bell: Guess what?
 
Clarke: What?
 
Bell: You’re all mine
 
Clarke: I’m all yours x
 
Bell: Get some sleep babe
 
Clarke: Night
 
Raven came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, she looked relaxed as she sat on the bed.
 
“I’m not pregnant.” Raven smiled, relaxed as she ran her hand through her hair.
 
“You’re probably just late because it’s been a stressful couple of weeks with you guys moving and looking for jobs.” Clarke gave her friend another hug.
 
“I’m going to head to bed,” Raven spoke quietly and stood up slowly. “Love you, Clarke.”
 
“Love you too Raven.” Clarke smiled slowly and watched her friend walk out.
 
 
************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********
 
 
Clarke smiled as she watched Madi sit on Murphy’s lap as she ate breakfast, his insults from the night before forgiven easily. Madi finished her breakfast and cuddled up against Murphy’s chest. Raven was sitting next to Murphy with Theo happily perched on her lap. While Bellamy shared his breakfast with Minerva. Clarke finally sat down with her breakfast after finishing up making everyone else’s.
 
“Mommy, juice please!” Madi asked as soon as she sat down with her breakfast.
 
“Mommy just sat down Madz, wait until Daddy finishes eating his breakfast and I’ll get it.” Bellamy watched his daughter sigh frustrated.
 
“I’ll get you some juice,” Murphy spoke up putting her down as he stood up. “Babe? Want anything?”
 
“More coffee please.” Raven smiled up at him and gave him a small kiss.
 
“What time are you guys leaving tomorrow?” Murphy asked quietly as he got Madi a cup of juice.
 
“10 am, it’s around the same time Mini and Theo take their nap so they’ll sleep most of the drive,” Bellamy spoke up as he mocked being angry when Minerva stole a piece of his bacon.
 
“Madi still going with O and Lincoln?” Raven watched Madi nod with a huge grin.
 
“Yeah O wants to take Madi for lunch and spoil her.” Clarke smiled slowly as she picked up her cup of coffee.
 
“Are you guys just taking the one car?” Murphy asked quietly as he sat down again giving Madi her juice.
 
“Yeah, it’s just easier for us. Plus, Mini and Theo are older so we don’t need to pack as much.” Clarke explained quietly and smiled at Theo as he watched her grinning at the mention of his name.
 
“Who’s that?” Raven asked pointing at Clarke.
 
“No no.” Theo shook his head.
 
“Theo, love you.” Bellamy smiled across the table at Theo.
 
“Wove you!” Theo squealed happily.
 
“Love you baby boy.” Clarke smiled at Theo.
 
“No no.” Theo shook his head before cuddling up to Raven.
 
“Mini, I love you.” Clarke smiled at Minerva but the little girl shook her head and cuddled against Bellamy.
 
“Wove you,” Minerva mumbled as she looked up at Bellamy.
 
“Love you too baby girl.” Bellamy smiled kissing her head.
 
Clarke pouted causing Raven, Murphy and Bellamy to laugh quietly before Murphy whispered into Madi’s ear.
 
“I love you sometimes Mommy.” Madi giggled. “Only sometimes.”
 
“I’ll take that.” Clarke laughed quietly. “Love you too baby.”
 
“What are you guys getting up to today?” Raven asked quietly.
 
“I’m packing and getting some last minute things done before tomorrow.” Clarke finished up her breakfast quickly.
 
“I’m taking the kids to my mom’s for the day,” Bellamy mumbled kissing Minerva’s head.
 
“So who’s coming for actual 4th of July besides all of us who are staying?” Murphy asked quietly.
 
“Aurora, Tybe and O invited Gina with her new boyfriend, Lee,” Clarke spoke as she gathered everyone’s plates to clear them. “So that night, Tybe and Aurora are in my room, Gina and Lee are in the kid’s room. I’m getting a blow-up bed for me and the kids that night, I’ll put it in the lounge room.”
 
“I’m actually excited to see Gina, I haven’t seen her since O and Lincoln’s party.”  Raven smiled as she stood up, resting Theo on her hip.
 
“Isn’t it weird that your ex is coming?” Murphy eyed Bellamy carefully.
 
“Not really, we left it on good terms.” Bellamy shrugged as he put Minerva on her feet before walking into the kitchen. “I’ve got the dishes.” He took over and shooed Clarke out of the kitchen.
 
“Come here, Mini.” Clarke scooped up Minerva and kissed her head.
 
“How do you not find it weird?” Murphy kissed Madi’s head and put her down.
 
“I work with Gina now, we’re actually pretty good friends, we just didn’t work together as a couple,” Bellamy explained as Clarke’s phone started to ring.
 
Clarke picked it up and walked into the lounge room away from the others. She answered it knowing it was a work call.
 
“Hello, Clarke speaking.” She answered as she readjusted Minerva on her hip.
 
“Hey Clarke, it’s Chase, we were wondering if you were free for a meeting this morning?” Chase spoke politely, she knew that Liam’s actions, making them lose their booking at the bar hurt them financially.
 
“Sure, what time are you guys available?” Clarke felt bad for them, not for Liam of course, he deserved it but they suffered from his actions.
 
“Why don’t we meet at Starbucks in half an hour?” Chase suggested.
 
“No problem, I’ll see you guys there.” Clarke hung up as Minerva started to play with Clarke’s hair. “Are you ever going to call me Mommy?” Clarke watched Minerva carefully.
 
“No no.” Minerva shook her head with a wide grin.
 
Clarke walked back into the dining room and put Minerva down so we could play with Theo and Madi.
 
“I’ve got to go for a meeting, are you right taking the kids to your Mom’s?” Clarke spoke quietly running her hand through her hair.
 
“Yeah, go, I’ve got it covered.” Bellamy nodded with a smile.
 
“Thanks, Bell.” Clarke smiled before heading to get ready for the meeting.
 
 
************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********
 
 
“Gentlemen.” Clarke greeted as she sat down with her coffee and folder.
 
“Clarke, it’s good to see you,” Liam smirked and was immediately elbowed by Chase.
 
“Thanks for seeing us,” Chase spoke quietly as Clarke shook all of their hands.
 
“I’m assuming you guys want to see if you guys can play some more shows at the bar?” Clarke watched them nod slowly. “I’m prepared to offer you guys the same deal we offer to all prospective performers.”
 
“We’re happy to accept that,” Chase spoke up, it was obvious to Clarke that they were having Chase speak for all of them.
 
“Okay, so it’s the standard 70% of the ticket profits, we’ll book you for three shows to start. If you sell 80% of the tickets we’ll pick book another three and so on.” Clarke explained as she got the contract out of her folder. “We’ve got the 10th and 9th of July then the 25th of August for the dates.”
 
“Perfect.” Chase smiled. “Thanks, Clarke.”

“I just need you guys to sign this then you guys can start advertising.” Clarke handed over the contract.  

Clarke watched them as they all signed the contract, Liam started mumbling but Chase elbowed him to get him to shut up. Chase seemed to be on top of Liam’s behaviour and honestly, Clarke was happy to give them a second chance considering how serious they were taking this. Most importantly they were making sure Liam was keeping his mouth shut. 

“We’re doing an expansion on the bar, it should be done before the end of the year, it’s going to double our capacity, we’re going to be keeping an eye out on all of the bands to see who we’ll book for the reopening.” Clarke took the contract and signed it before putting it in her folder and taking a sip of her coffee. “It’s going to be a big night, we’re paying a $2500 booking bonus to whoever we book because we need whoever is playing to stay on for longer than usual.”

All of them perked up at the mention of the bonus. It was a considerable amount plus if they sold out they’d be doubling their earnings for that night. 

“What would we need to do get that booking?”  Chase asked quietly. 

“Show is that you guys can sell us out that night. See if you can get both our regulars and new customers interested in coming.” Clarke watched them as smiles lit up their face. 

“Alright, we’ll do that.” Chase nodded with a smile. 

“I need to get going, I’ll see you guys on the 10th.” Clarke gathered her things and stood up as they said goodbye to her. 

************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********

It was late when Clarke finally crawled into bed with Bellamy, she wanted to double check they had everything they needed for this trip. For a change, they were sleeping in his room and neither of them really had to wake up early to sneak out.  Madi was staying at Lincoln and Octavia’s place with Ro, both Ro and Chewy were staying at the lake house with them. A yawn left Clarke’s lips as she curled up into Bellamy’s side, he was already half asleep and he immediately wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer. 

“Love you.” He mumbled, barely audible. 

“Love you too, get some sleep.” She whispered giving him a gentle kiss. 

A groan left Bellamy’s lips as Clarke’s phone started to ring on full volume, Clarke had to make sure it was on full volume otherwise she’d sleep through it most nights, she was a light sleeper when it came to the cries of her children but everything else she could sleep through. Clarke sat up answering the phone. 

“Hello?” Clarke’s voice was croaky as she spoke. 

“The alarm’s going off at the restaurant and we don’t know how to shut it off,” Anya spoke loudly over the Alarm. 

“Shit, yeah okay, I’m coming.” Clarke sighed and hung up. 

She had picked up the keys from the real estate today and she officially owned that building now, she hadn’t changed the security code yet but she never expected the alarm to go off. 

“Bell, I’ve got to head to the bar, the restaurant’s alarm is going off. I’ll be back.” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

“Want me to come with you?” He could barely keep his eyes open as he spoke. 

“You stay with the kids,” she walked out to put her clothes on quickly. 

Tybe met Clarke at the restaurant, he was waiting for her with the police. Clarke yawned as the police checked the building, the police came out 20 minutes later, assuring them the building was empty.

“What do you think could’ve set off the alarm?” Clarke frowned as she looked at Tybe.

“I have no idea, a possum maybe?” Tybe shrugged slowly.

“I want to check it out again before we rearm the alarm.” Clarke opened the back door to the building and walked in slowly with Tybe behind her.

Clarke jumped when they heard rattling coming from the kitchen, Tybe immediately walked in front of Clarke. In the kitchen, they found that some of the metal bowls had been knocked off the bench when the wind blew in from the open door.

“God that gave me a heart attack.” Clarke laughed as they picked up the bowls.

“Let’s lock up and get home.” Tybe smiled and led Clarke outside again.

They rearmed the alarm again and locked up the doors. Clarke yawned as Tybe walked her back to her car.

“I have some news to tell you.” Tybe smiled slowly. “I wanted you to be one of the first to know before we tell everyone at the lake house.”

“What is it?” Clarke smiled and leant against the side of her car.

“Aurora and I are having a baby.” Tybe smiled proudly.

“No way! Tybe that’s amazing!” Clarke hugged Tybe tightly. “I’m so happy for you two.”

“You better get home, you’ve got to get up early tomorrow.” Tybe smiled, pulling away.

“I’ll see you guys in a few days.” Clarke smiled and got into her car.

************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********

Clarke yawned loudly in the front passenger seat, Theo and Minerva were already fast asleep. She didn’t get home until 2 am and the kids woke them up at 6 am, she was tired, really tired. Bellamy got in the car carrying two take-out coffee cups.

“Here babe.” Bellamy passed her the coffee with a smile before he started the car and got back onto the highway.

“I love you,” Clarke mumbled taking the coffee happily.

“I love you too.” Bellamy leant over kissing her slowly. “I like this dress.” He smirked and ran his hand up Clarke’s leg with a smirk.

“Bell, the kids are in the back.” Clarke bit her lip as his hand made it up her leg even more.

“They’re asleep.” He smirked and started to rub her slowly.

“Bell.” She moaned quietly, biting her lip harder.

Bellamy smirked as he rubbed her faster as he drove, making her moan louder and try to close her legs.

“Clarke.” He growled at her and opened her legs more.

“Dadda?” Minerva’s voice started to sook as she woke up.

“I’m here, baby girl,” Bellamy spoke up moving his hand away from Clarke.

“Do you want a bottle Mini?” Clarke turned back to look at her daughter, who nodded slowly.

Clarke grabbed a bottle out of the nappy bag and handed it to her.

“Here baby.” Clarke smiled at her daughter.

“Ta,” Minerva mumbled quietly.

Clarke shifted as she grabbed her coffee, drinking it slowly. She could see Bellamy adjusting himself in the corner of her eye.

“I’m sorry.” Bellamy held her hand and kissed it gently.

“We can sneak off when we get there,” Clarke smirked slowly.

“Can’t wait.” He kissed her hand again.

************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********

Clarke got out of the car and stretched slowly, she was able to nap on the way up. Bellamy started to get Minerva and Theo out of the car.

“Anyone here yet?” Bellamy asked as he put the kids down.

“Nope,” Clarke smirked as she got the keys out of the coded lock box.

“We’ll unpack soon.” He picked up the kids and carried them into the house.

As soon as Minerva and Theo were put down on the ground they ran to the block that was already in the lounge room. Bellamy smirked and pulled Clarke into the kitchen. He kissed her roughly as he hiked up her dress, rubbing her again.

Over the last 6 weeks, Clarke was able to experience many different sexual experiences with Bellamy. Slow sensual, loving sex where they’d take their time exploring each other's bodies and taking their time to give each other as much pleasure as possible. Then there was their basic sex, the type they did the most, where they’d take some time for foreplay before getting down to the deed. Clarke knew the last type of sex was what was going to happen now as Bellamy bent her over the kitchen bench. The downright dirty sex, where it was quick, exhilarating and most likely not in the most appropriate place. This was when they didn’t have time to stop and go to the bedroom, most likely because the kids or work needed their attention. One night late in May, Bellamy had to leave for a field trip, Clarke had worked late the night before and they hadn’t had the chance to have some time alone. He pulled her into the closet and had her against the door before he left in the morning while the kids ate their breakfast in front of the tv. Of course, leaving the kids alone with their breakfast resulted in Clarke having a mess to clean up but it was worth it. Clarke found it the hottest sex she’d had because of how much need Bellamy had for her in that moment. Since that morning, they’d had a few more moments of lust like that. Once in the car, when the kids were having a sleepover at Aurora’s, they had gone to the 24 hour Walmart when Clarke finished at the bar at Midnight. The parking lot was dead and after shopping, she wanted him bad. Bellamy was shocked when Clarke climbed on top of him and rode him, fogging up the window in the process. The only moment that was more daring than that was when they were having a movie night at Octavia and Lincoln’s place the week they got back from their honeymoon. Everyone was in the lounge room while Bellamy and Clarke were getting more popcorn and drinks. Bellamy pushed her up against the fridge, covered her mouth and took her from behind. He free hand rubbed her clit to make sure she came. They walked back into the lounge room with the drinks and popcorn as if nothing had happened.

“Be quiet.” He whispered in her ear as he slipped a condom on before pushing inside her.

He covered her mouth and let her moan into his hand as he started to thrust hard into her. Clarke balled her hands up into fists as she moaned into his hand. The sound of a car outside made Clarke panic but Bellamy didn’t stop, he just slipped his hand under her and started to rub her clit in small circles. She tried to straighten up when she heard a car doors slam.

“Are you afraid we’re going to get caught?” He whispered into her ear as he kept his pace steady. “You know, they could walk in at any point and see us.” He whispered and soon let out a heavy breath as she tightened around him. “You like that huh?”

He picked up his pace, feeling her tighten around him, her orgasm pushing her over the edge. Her legs started to shake as he rubbed her clit hard her and her orgasm washed over her. After a few powerful thrusts, he held her close as finished.

“We’re here!” Octavia’s voice echoed through the house as she opened the front door.

Bellamy pulled out of Clarke quickly with a smirk as Clarke raced to straighten up while Bellamy slipped into the bathroom. Octavia found Clarke in the kitchen and engulfed her in a hug.

“We had so much fun on the way up, we stopped at this awesome park for lunch and the dogs got to run around and have fun.” Octavia gushed while Clarke tried to steady her breathing. “I’m so happy we brought the dogs with us. We’re going to take Madi and the dogs for a hike tomorrow, let them run around.”

“We’re here bitches!” Raven called out from the front door and Octavia immediately ran to the front door.

Clarke took this opportunity to go into the bathroom after Bellamy slipped out with a smile on his face. In the bathroom, Clarke splashed her face with water and took a moment to recover.

When Clarke emerged, the lounge room was filling up, Murphy, Raven, Octavia and Lincoln were on the lounges while Bellamy sat on the floor with the kids.

“Clarkie, where were you hiding?” Raven eyed her friend carefully.

“Can’t a girl pee?” Clarke rolled her eye and sat on the floor as Mini crawled onto her lap.

“Are you guys ready for this week?” Murphy smirked mischievously as he looked around at them.

“Oh Boy.” Clarke laughed shaking her head.

Chapter Text

Clarke laughed at the memories that came to her as they all sat around the campfire, everyone was drinking except for Harper who opted out because she was still breastfeeding Jordan. They opted out of truth and dare this time because no one was drunk enough to play that. Two truths and a lie was their chosen game for their shenanigans. They decided to not reveal what was the lie instead the group had to come to a consensus about what was the lie and then try to convince the person to tell them if they were right.
 
“Lincoln and I had sex in the limo after the photos at the wedding,” Octavia spoke up as Bellamy cringed from his seat next to Clarke. “I’ve seen every part of Clarke and I once had sex with Raven in high school.”
 
“You didn’t have sex with Raven,” Bellamy spoke up and took a long sip of his beer.
 
“Did you sleep with Raven?” Murphy eyed Octavia before turning to his girlfriend. “Did you sleep with O?”
 
“Yeah, senior year.” Octavia kept her voice steady and her face straight.
 
“That’s bullshit!” Clarke announced as she eyed Octavia but she ignored Clarke.

Clarke noticed the fact that Octavia was ignoring her but she brushed it off.
 
“The consensus?” Jasper asked loudly. “Sleeping with Raven is?”
 
“Bullshit!” They all sung in a chorus as Octavia laughed.
 
“Alright, Clarke your turn.” Raven smiled and poured more of the Vodka and orange juice mixture into Clarke’s cup.
 
“Okay um, I’ve slept with twelve people, I’ve never tried passionfruit and before you guys got here, Bellamy bent me over the kitchen bench and fucked me,” Clarke spoke quietly as everyone watched her carefully.

"Disgusting!" Octavia screamed and threw a cushion at Clarke.

"You're the one who wants me to hook up with your brother." Clarke raised her eyebrow slowly.

"Yeah but I don't want to hear about it." Octavia grimaced.

"And Bell wanted to hear about you and Lincoln banging in the limo." Clarke countered.

"She has a point," Lincoln admitted taking a sip of his beer.

"Back to the game," Jasper ordered loudly, getting annoyed by the conversation drifting off.
 
“You guys didn’t fuck!” Raven disagreed loudly.
 
“No way you guys fucked, you two are too chicken shit!” Murphy argued, shaking his head.
 
“The consensus?” Jasper hollered loudly making them all laugh. “Bellamy fucking Clarke in the kitchen is?”
 
“Bullshit!” Everyone called out before downing their drinks.
 
The sound of crying through Clarke’s baby monitor made her get up immediately.
 
“I’ll get them.” Bellamy stopped her and started to get up.
 
“I’ve got them, besides it's your turn.” Clarke smiled before walking up the house.
 
Clarke found Theo sitting up on the bed he was sharing with Minerva and Madi, he was rubbing his eyes and crying loudly while the girls slept through it.
 
“Hey, baby boy,” Clarke whispered and scooped him up, kissing his head gently. “Did you have a bad dream?”
 
Clarke cuddled Theo close and carried him into her room, she got into the bed with him. She grabbed a necklace from her handbag for Theo to play with as he sat up in the bed.
 
“Did you know this belonged to your father?” She asked the little boy, understanding fully that he was too young to understand. “He died while you were still in my belly but he loved you very much and he was excited to meet you.” She brushed his hair out of his face. “You look just like him.” she smiled slowly as she watched him play with the necklace. “He would be so proud of you baby boy.” She kissed his head gently.
 
“Hi!” Theo grinned widely.
 
“Hi baby,” Clarke smiled slowly at him as she watched him play. “You and I are so lucky to have your daddy, he loves us very much. He’s the best daddy we could’ve asked for because he loves us very much and he’s so happy that he gets to be in your life.”
 
“Dadda!” Theo looked around for Bellamy but didn’t seem bothered when he didn’t find Bellamy.
 
“I love your Daddy very much.” She whispered quietly. “And I love you very much my little Theo.” She kissed his head and cuddled him close as he yawned. “Goodnight baby boy.” She let him drift off to sleep again.
 
 
************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********
 
 
By the time Clarke came out to the fire pit again, everyone was heading to bed except for Bellamy who was still sitting there, staring at the fire. Jasper gave her a hug as he headed inside. Clarke sat next to Bellamy with a smile.
 
“I heard what you said to Theo, I came in to check to see if you needed help and I watched you talking to Theo.” Bellamy smiled and took Clarke’s hand gently.
 
“You did?” Clarke felt her cheeks flush, suddenly feeling embarrassed.
 
“I’m the lucky one, Clarke.” He squeezed her hand gently. “I’m lucky that you were able to forgive me after everything that I did and I did some unforgivable things.” He took a deep breath. “I love you Clarke, more than I have ever loved anyone.”

“A part of me always knew I’d forgive you because of how much I love you.” She admitted quietly. “Even when I hated you, I loved you. I never stopped loving you even after everything that happened.” She looked up at him slowly and his lips came crashing down to hers as he pulled her close. 

Bellamy pulled back and smiled, he brushed her hair out of his face. 

“I love you, Bellamy Blake.” Clarke smiled and interlaced her fingers with his. 

“I love you too.” He stood up slowly, pulling her along with him. “Let’s go swimming.” He led her over to the edge of the lake and peeled off his shirt.

"I don't have my bikini on." She shook her head slowly as she watched him.

"Neither do I." He smirked slowly and pulled down his shorts, leaving him naked. "Come on." He looked at her with a smirk.

Clarke took in the view of him naked in front of her in the moonlight. She looked up at the lake house knowing they were out of view and couldn't be seen. She peeled off her dress slowly and immediately tried to cover herself up with her arms.

"Don't, you look beautiful." He moved her arms away and took in the sight of her. "Come on." he smiled, taking her hand leading her into the water.

Once they were in deep enough where only he could stand up, he picked her up letting her wrap her legs around her waist. She wrapped her arms around his neck before giving him a gentle kiss.

"This is our first proper family holiday with us together," Clarke spoke quietly as she watched the water dripping from his wet hair.

"I think we should go away for a weekend, just you and me." He pressed his forehead against hers. "After the summer, we could drop the kids off to my Mom's and drive into the city, get a hotel room and just have some time together, alone. Just the two of us."

"That sounds so good." She smiled slowly. "I'll check what I've going on with the bar, it's just going to be kind of crazy while these renovations are happening, the bar is completely changing and the addition of the kitchen but I'll make time. I promise." She gave him a small kiss.

"We can hold off until the new year if you want." He watched her carefully, his forehead still pressed against hers.

"I'm going to make time. As soon as we get home, I'll allocate a weekend in my schedule." She pulled herself closer to him and kissed him again.

"Clarke?!" Raven's voice echoed down from the house. "Clarke!"

Clarke untangled herself from Bellamy and swam back to shore, slipping her dress back on before walking up to the house quickly.

"What's wrong?" Clarke frowned, worried as she got to the stairs up to the back veranda.

"Your phone's been going off like crazy, you've got missed calls from Anya, the bar phone and Tybe." Raven handed Clarke her phone with a worried look. "What's going on?" 

Raven watched Clarke unlock her phone and look at the messages, swearing under her breath.

"We had the alarm at the restaurant go off last night and we thought it was just a mistake, police checked it out. Someone's broken in, it's bad." Clarke raked her hand through her hair.

"Shit, Clarke, how bad?" Raven frowned and followed Clarke inside.

"Bad. Tybe needs me to go to the bar." Clarke made her way upstairs to her room and grabbed fresh clothes, she started to get changed quickly.

"Want me to come back with you?" Raven watched Clarke as she rushed around her room, grabbing everything she needed. "Are you right to drive?"

"Can you just help Bell with the kids if they're being a handful? I'm fine to drive, I only had two drinks." Clarke pulled her hair back into a messy bun, Clarke was thankful that she didn't get her hair wet when she went swimming.

Raven followed Clarke downstairs as Bellamy walked into the house, he frowned as he watched Clarke search for the car keys.

"I've got to go home, there's been a break-in at the restaurant, it's bad," Clarke explained as she found the keys on the bench.

"Want me to come with you?" Bellamy frowned as he followed her out to the car.

"Stay with the kids, they'll freak out if they wake up and both of us are gone," Clarke spoke quietly. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Be careful Clarke." Raven gave her a quick hug before heading inside as she yawns.

"Call me the second you get there, I want to know you're safe." Bellamy got closer to her, pulling her into a tight hug, kissing the top of her head. "I love you."

"I love you too," Clarke whispered, hugging him tightly. "I'll call you." She whispered and got into the car slowly.

************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********

Clarke's chest ached as she stepped through the restaurant as Tybe showed her the damage, the windows were smashed out, the walls were covered in spray paint. Everywhere she looked there was damage, there was water leaking everywhere because firebombs that were thrown through the broken windows causing the sprinklers to go off. It was 4:30 am but the building was lit by the emergency lights.

“Oh god,” Clarke mumbled as she looked at the damage in the kitchen.

The kitchen was destroyed, the tiles smashed off the walls, the equipment destroyed by the fire and just things being broken everywhere.

“Do they know who did this?” Clarke turned to Tybe slowly.

“A couple of teenagers, Anya kicked them out of the bar when they tried to order drinks with fake ids.” Tybe sighed leading Clarke outside. “The police caught them, the reports have been made and they’ve taken photos, they’ll forward it to the insurance company.”

Clarke sighed looking at the building, Tybe and Atom had boarded up the windows and secured the building.

“That has to be at least $35,000 of damage.” Clarke raked her hand down her face. “You should head home, Aurora is probably worried sick.”

“Do you want to come back with me?” He asked quietly and watched her.

“I think I’m just going to go home, sleep for a couple hours then come into work tomorrow. Make sure everything is done for the insurance company then head back to the lake tomorrow night if everything is done.” Clarke spoke quietly and watched him yawn.

“I can do all that, you can head back to the lake.” He argued but Clarke was having none of it.

“Nope, you work too much.” Clarke shook her head. “Go home, get some sleep and take Aurora to the lake tomorrow instead.”

“We’re not supposed to go until the end of the week. I have work.” He shook his head as he crossed his arms.

“I’m your boss, Tybe and I’m telling you to take the rest of the week off. Anya can take care of the bar for the week.” She spoke as she walked him to his truck. “Besides, I want my whole family at the Lake for our holiday.”

“Fine.” He grumbled defeated as he opened the door to his truck. “I’ll take Aurora in the morning after we get up.”

“Good, I’ll see you when I get back to the lake house.” She smiled before walking back to her car.

************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********

Clarke yawned loudly as she walked out of the bar, it was almost, she was meant to have left earlier but the insurance company were giving her the run around all day and she needed to fix up the restaurant to secure it better. She was exhausted and didn’t feel comfortable driving all the way back to the lake house. She hit Bellamy’s number on the car’s loudspeaker as she drove back to the house.

“Hey, are you almost here?” Bellamy answered and Clarke immediately knew he was around everyone.

“The insurance company gave me the run around all day, I only just got out.” Clarke yawned quietly. “I might just head back in the morning.”

“Give me a sec, I’m just going outside, I can’t hear you.” He spoke up and there was rustling for a few seconds. “Are you okay babe?”

“Yeah, I’m just exhausted and stressed out.” She sighed as she drove around a corner trying not to yawn. “They did so much more damage than what we first thought, I got a quote today for it. $89,000.”

“Fuck, is the insurance going to cover it?” He let out a loud breath.

“Yeah, they’re going to start gutting the place in two weeks.” She sighed as she pulled into the driveway. “There’s nothing else we can do for now.”

“Get some rest babe.” His voice was comforting to her, especially under all of the stress she was feeling.

“I will, I’m going to go crash.” She let her body relax against the seat. “I’ll drive back as soon as I get up in the morning.”

“I love you.” He spoke quietly.

“I love you too.” A smile played on her lips. “How are the kids?”

“They miss you, Mini and Theo have been running around looking for you. Theo had a tantrum about 20 minutes ago asking for no no.” He explained and it broke her heart.

“Let me get inside and I’ll facetime you.” She hung up quickly and got inside the house.

Clarke stripped off and threw on one of Bellamy’s t-shirts before climbing into bed. She face timed Bellamy and smiled when he answered.

“Mini, Theo, say hi to Mommy.” Bellamy smiled and pulled them onto his lap so they could see the phone.

“No no!” Theo squealed pointing at the phone.

“Hi, Theo.” Clarke smiled as the little boy grinned. “Hi, Mini.” Clarke tried to get Minerva’s attention.

“Mini, look who’s on the phone.” Bellamy tried to coach Minerva to look at the phone but she climbed off Bellamy’s lap and ran away with Theo following her.

“Does Madi want to say hi?” Clarke ran her hand through her hair.

“No!” Madi called out causing Clarke to sigh.

“I’ll see you guys in the morning.” Clarke sighed.

“We’ll see you soon.” Bellamy hung up and Clarke laid back with a sigh.

************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********

Clarke walked into the lake house just after 8 am, she had woken up early so she just decided to get up and go. She just wanted to be back with Bellamy and their kids. The house was quiet but she heard the kids playing quietly in the lounge room. She crept into the lounge room to find Minerva and Theo sitting on the ground playing with their blocks.

“Hi, babies.” Clarke smiled, happy to see them but they didn’t even look up at her.

Clarke walked over Minerva where she was playing and knelt down to her eye level.

“Hey Mini, can Mommy have a hug?” Clarke asked quietly but Minerva got up and walked away without even looking at Clarke.

Theo got up and followed Minerva causing Clarke to sigh quietly and stood up slowly, she turned to Madi who was curled up on the couch.

“Hey baby girl, I missed you.” Clarke smiled and sat down next to Madi.

Madi got up and walked over to the other side of the lounge room where Minerva and Theo were now playing, she didn’t even look at her mother. Clarke sighed and ran her hand through her hair before walking into the kitchen where Bellamy was. She felt her chest tighten and tears started to well up in her eyes.

“Hey.” Bellamy frowned and pulled her into a hug. “They’re just grumpy today.”

Clarke hugged him, holding back her tears and tried to hold back her tears. Bellamy kissed the top of her head as he held her close.

“Birdie!” The kids called out in unison, drawing Clarke’s attention.

Clarke turned to see the kids running to Raven, battling to all hug her at the same time.

“Grumpy huh?” Clarke mumbled and walked out the back door as she wiped away her tears that were free-flowing now.

“What’s up with Clarke?” Murphy asked as he dodged Raven, who was being smothered with kisses from the kids.

“Tired, stressed, the kids are ignoring her. Just a whole lot.” Bellamy sighed watching Clarke through the window as she curled up on one of the lounge chairs on the veranda.

“What’s going on?” Harper frowned as she walked downstairs with Jordan on her hip.

“Jor!” Minerva squealed and reached up at Harper.

“Soon Mini. After breakfast.” Harper promised in a gentle voice before walking over to Bellamy while Raven was still distracted by the kids.

“Kids are ignoring Clarke,” Murphy commented.

Harper nodded and walked outside slowly, she sat down next to Clarke. Clarke was trying to wipe away her tears.

“You’re back.” Harper smiled as Jordan reached over to Clarke. “He wants his favourite aunty. Just don’t tell the others.” She laughed quietly which Clarke joined in quietly.

“Hey, Jordy.” Clarke smiled taking the baby boy. “I’m a mess,” She sighed. “I don’t know if it’s just the fact that I’m tired or stressed out. The kids ignoring me when I came in has just made me bawl like a baby.”

“It happens.” Harper shrugged. “I cry like all of the time, if Jordan wants Monty more or smiles at Monty and not me, I bawl uncontrollably.” She admitted with a sigh. “It’s all the hormones I guess.”

“PMS makes sense now.” Clarke nodded slowly, it was dawning on her that she was due soon. “I swear to god it’s worse since I have the kids.” She laughed quietly shaking her head.

Jordan gargling in her arms drew Clarke’s attention again.

“You’re such a clever boy.” Clarke smiled and kissed the baby’s cheek.

“Let’s go inside and get coffee, it’ll make you feel better.” Harper smiled standing up slowly.

Clarke followed Harper inside as she held Jordan close, kissing his head gently and cuddled him close.

“You’re getting so big.” Clarke gushed at Jordan.

Seeing Clarke paying so much attention to Jordan made Theo notice. Theo made a beeline for Clarke, following her into the kitchen. He held his arms up, waiting for Clarke to pick him up. Clarke was distracted by the conversation she was having with Harper and didn’t notice Theo reaching up for her until he started having a full blown tantrum. The little boy pulled on Clarke’s dress as he screamed.

“Theo, give Mommy a second.” Clarke’s words just made his tantrum worse.

Clarke handed Jordan back to his mother before crouching down at Theo’s eye level.

“What’s wrong Theo?” Clarke asked quietly but Theo was already jumping into her arms.

Clarke stood up, adjusting Theo on her hip and his little hands gripped her dress. Theo little boy was narrowing his eyes at Jordan, who was reaching for Clarke again. Clarke stepped back just before Theo lashed out at Jordan.

“Theo.” Clarke lowered her tone as she couched down again and put Theo on his feet. “Did you just try to hit Jordan?”

Theo started to whine again and tried to climb into Clarke’s arms again but she stopped him.

“Theo, we don’t hit.” She warned as she watched her son. “Jordan just wanted Mommy to hold him with you.” She spoke quietly and Theo started to pout not happy with his mother’s words. “Come on.” She scooped him up again and kissed his head.

“He’s jealous that Mommy is paying attention to another baby.” Harper laughed as she watched Theo cuddle up to Clarke. “I wonder if Jordan going to get like that when he gets a little older because right now he’s so chilled out he’ll go to anyone and doesn’t bat an eye when I hold Mini or Theo.”

“Most likely.” Clarke laughed grabbing her coffee walking into the lounge room.

“Hey Bell, give me your phone, I want to show Lincoln the photo of me with Madi last night,” Octavia asked as she walked over to her brother who handed her phone over with ease.

Clarke felt herself start to panic because she knew Bellamy would have the nude pictures of her that she sent him last night in his photos. She was trying to hide the fact that she was freaking out. Her face wasn’t in the photos but she was still freaking out.

“Bell, do you have a girlfriend?” Octavia smirked as she looked at her brother.

“Show me.” Raven snatched the phone.

“Damn,” Murphy commented looking at the picture.

Clarke wanted to cover her face from embarrassment but she couldn’t, she distracted herself by drinking her coffee and kissing the top of Theo’s head.

“Why didn’t you bring her along?” Octavia raised an eyebrow as she watched her brother shrug.

“What’s going on?” Aurora asked as she walked downstairs with Tybe.

“Bellamy has a new girlfriend,” Octavia spoke up as she grabbed Bellamy’s phone off Raven.

“Dad has a girlfriend?” Jasper frowned as he walked downstairs.

“She’s been sending him dirty pictures.” Raven laughed.

“Madi, why don’t you bring Mini outside with me?” Aurora asked, realizing this conversation was nowhere near appropriate for the kids to be around.

“Here, I’ll take him.” Tybe smiled and took Theo off Clarke, following Aurora and the girls outside.

“Is she coming for the fourth?” Harper spoke up as she rocked Jordan.

“Have you ever thought that I don’t bring girls around because I don’t want to scare them off?” Bellamy countered.

“I wonder how long this one will last.” Octavia tossed Bellamy his phone again.

“Have you always got to be so negative?” Bellamy crossed his arms, frowning deeply.

“Kinda, especially when you cheat on every girl you date with Clarke.” Octavia narrowed her eyes at her brother. “You got Clarke pregnant while you were dating Echo and you almost fucked Clarke in the lake last year while Gina was upstairs asleep. Whenever you two are together, all of your morals go out the window. Both of you were in relationships but that didn’t seem to matter.”

There was an awkward silence hanging in the air, Clarke and Bellamy were both in pure shock while everyone else was confused by Octavia’s outburst.

“That was uncalled for, O,” Raven spoke up, breaking the silence that was hanging in the room.

“It’s true, they need to stop dragging people into their cluster fuck of a situation.” Octavia crossed her arms. “All they do is hurt people when they bring into their lives.”

Clarke put her coffee down and walked out silently. Bellamy followed after her but stopped at the door, turning to his sister.

“For the record, O, they were my mistakes, Clarke didn’t know about Echo and I was the one who fucked up last summer. She was drunk, I wasn’t.” Bellamy shook his head slowly before walking out, slamming the door.

“Seriously, O?” Raven walked away shaking her head.

Bellamy found Clarke on the dock, hugging herself as she looked out at the water. He walked up to her slowly, he reached out to touch her arm but she moved away from his touch.

“O’s right,” Clarke mumbled not looking at him. “All we do is hurt people.”

“Clarke, O’s just being a judgmental bitch right now,” Bellamy spoke quietly. “Because she thinks she’s had the perfect relationship and thinks that she knows what’s right.”

“She’s right tho, Bell.” Clarke turned to him slowly, running her hand through her hair. “We hurt people, look at how many people we hurt when I got pregnant with Madi and when people found out you’re her father. O and Raven wouldn’t even talk to me after they found out. You’re Mom seemed to be fine but it hurt her that I didn’t tell her.” She took in a deep breath. “I hurt them by keeping secrets.”

There was a silence and Bellamy reached out for her again but she moved away again.

“We hurt Gina last summer, I was jealous and wanted to sleep with you. I was vindictive, Bell.” She looked down. “Gina was nothing but nice to me and I tried to sleep with her boyfriend.”

“Clarke, stop.” He raked his hands through his mop of curls. “We’ve moved on from that. Gina and I were never really going to work, we both knew that when I flipped out after your date with Liam”

“We haven’t moved on from that because we’re still keeping secrets, Bell.” She threw her arms up in the air. “We’re toxic to everyone around us.”

“So you don’t want this?” He gestured between them.

There was silence between them for a long time. Bellamy was watching her every move while Clarke shifted uncomfortably.

“I don’t want to hurt people.” She whispered as she looked down slowly. “I don’t know.” She started to walk past him but he stopped her.

“You’re not the bad guy.” He spoke quietly looking down.

“With us, there are no good guys.” She mumbled walking up to the house again, leaving him at the dock staring after her.

He only stared after her for a few moments before walking up to the house. He found her in her bedroom, packing up her things.

“You’re not leaving.” He crossed his arms as he watched her.

“It’s for the best.” She mumbled, not looking at him.

“For who?” He narrowed his eyes at her. “Cause it’s not what’s best for me or our kids. We want you here.”

“All I seem to do is cause problems.” She continued to throw things into her bag.

“Clarke, stop.” He grabbed her hands to make her stop packing her things. “I’m not letting you leave.”

“Bell, we’re no good together.” She pulled out of his grip. “It’s not good for us, our kids or our family.”

“Bullshit, Clarke!” Bellamy snapped. “Just because O is being a bitch doesn’t give you an outs with us!” He was shouting now, frustrated.

“How many people have we hurt in the last 6 years?!” She snapped back.

“We said together and I meant it!” He shouted, frustrated that she was giving up. “I meant it when I said it. Did you?”

“We’re not good, Bellamy, can’t you see that?!” She snapped frustrated, throwing the last of her things into her bag.

“Clarke, just fucking stop!” He shouted louder. “I’m not tearing apart our family just because O said some fucking bullshit that we moved on from!”

The shouting echoed louder through the house as their fight became more intense. Jasper walked out of the kitchen eyeing Octavia who was sitting on the couch with her arms crossed.

“Mom and Dad are fighting, great job O,” Jasper spoke through his teeth as he glared at Octavia.

“You’re not fucking leaving, Clarke!” Bellamy’s voice boomed as he followed Clarke downstairs.

“It’s for the best!” Clarke snapped walking into the kitchen trying to find her phone so she could order an Uber.

“I’m not letting you leave us.” Bellamy’s voice was quiet, defeated and it made Clarke stop.

Clarke looked down, feeling ashamed and Bellamy took this moment to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke whispered.

“It’s not your fault,” Bellamy whispered as he held her close, not letting go of her.

It was a quiet moment between them, they both relaxed in this intimate moment. Their breathing slowed down to a calm pace and the tension started to leave their bodies. The sound of Octavia scoffing made the tension return to Clarke’s body. Clarke moved out of Bellamy’s arms and walked over to Octavia, she was somewhere between hurt and angry.

“Why? Haven’t I been a good friend to you?” Clarke was holding back tears. “I thought we’re supposed to be family, O? What have I done that’s so wrong to you?”

“Everyone else has to pay for their mistakes,” Octavia stood up slowly. “Everyone else has to pay for hurting people. Except for you.” She crossed her arms eyeing Clarke. “Everyone forgives you, everyone forgets the fucked up things you’ve done. You never face the consequences. Now you are. You’re a horrible person just pretending to be good.”

“Are you serious?” Clarke threw her hands up in the air. “After everything I’ve done for you. 21 years of friendship, out the window like that?”

“What the hell, O?” Bellamy growled as he stepped forward but Clarke stopped him.

“If that’s what you want, fine done.” Clarke stepped away from Octavia.

“Good.” Octavia stared at Clarke with a raised eyebrow as Clarke turned away. “Luna was right about you.”

Octavia’s words made Clarke stop in her tracks, turn on her heels to face Octavia.

“Right about me?” Clarke scoffed before looking down, shaking her head. “I can’t.” She shook her head slowly before turning away from Octavia.

“Babe.” Bellamy tried to stop her from walking out.

“Babe? You stayed faithful to your new girlfriend for what? Five minutes?” Octavia scoffed loudly, crossing her arms.

“Go outside,” Bellamy whispered to Clarke, kissing her head and waited for her to walk out the back. “My girlfriend just walked out of that door. You’re the first one to point out when I’m being an asshole but right now, I don’t even know who you are anymore.” He shook his head slowly. “Do me a favour, stay away from us and our kids.”

Bellamy shook his head and walked outside. Madi immediately ran up to him and he picked her up, holding her close.

“Babe lets pack up and head home,” Bellamy spoke quietly.

“I don’t want to go home.” Madi sobbed loudly.

“I’m sorry, She’s been a bit weird the last couple of days since she went shopping with Luna and she’s just been critical of Clarke since then.” Lincoln sighed rubbing his forehead.

“She’s made her bed.” Bellamy sighed. “She’s done a really fucked thing to Clarke, they’ve been best friends for 21 years.” He sighed and took a deep breath.

“Don’t leave, I’ll make sure Octavia keeps her mouth shut.” Lincoln sighed shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Why does it not surprise me that Luna has something to do with this?” Bellamy sighed heavily and kissed Madi’s head.

************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********

Clarke crawled into bed straight after putting the kids to bed, she didn’t feel like socializing, she was still reeling over what had happened that day. She wanted to cry and scream angrily, there was an ache in her chest. She couldn’t believe what Octavia had said to her. Clarke curled up under the blankets and just stared at the wall in the dark room. Bellamy crawled into bed and pulled Clarke into his arms, letting her bury her head in his chest. She started to cry quietly as he held her close.

Clarke didn’t know what she did that was so horrible to Octavia. This was going to change everything; this was going to split them all apart. She wished she could fix this but all she could do was cry.

Chapter Text

Clarke laid awake, staring at the wall. She couldn’t sleep. How could she after everything that had happened the day before? Her mind was racing, trying to go over every interaction she has ever had with Octavia to try to find where she had messed up, trying to find what she had done to Octavia. Her chest ached but she didn’t want to cry anymore. Her head ached along with her chest, she ignored the pounding. She looked at the alarm clock, the red glowing numbers told her that it was 5:02 am. Bellamy’s arms tightened around her and he kissed the back of her head gently.

“You okay baby?” His voice came out as a husky whisper.

“I can’t sleep.” She admitted quietly, not moving. “I’m just waiting for the third bad thing to happen.”

“What do you mean?” The frown could be heard in his voice.

“Whenever something bad happens to me, they come in threes.” She mumbled turning to face him. “Finn cheats on me, my dad dies and Lexa cheats on me. You break up with me, you flip out when you found out I was pregnant, Abby disowns me and kicks me out. Roan dies, the lawsuit with Luna and I almost lose Theo.”

“Nothing else is going to happen.” He assured stroking her cheek gently.

“The restaurant is broken into and Octavia dumps me as a friend. Something else is going to happen.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Something will happen.”

“Don’t think like that baby.” He pulled her closer, kissing her forehead. “Let’s go watch the sunrise.” He sat up, pulling her up with him.

“I need to tell you something.” She mumbled hugging her knees.

“What is it?” He put his hand on her back, rubbing it gently.

“I think I’m pregnant.” Her voice was barely a whisper but it was loud enough for him to hear.

There was a silence hanging between them, his hand didn’t leave her back though which gave her hope that he wasn’t mad at her.

“Okay.” He spoke quietly.

“Bell, I’m really hoping I’m not pregnant.” She admitted quietly, keeping her head down, a silence hanging between them. “I don’t want to be pregnant.”

She kept her head hung low, ashamed. Ashamed that she knew if she did end up being pregnant, she wouldn’t be happy about it.

“We’re not ready for this in the slightest, we’ve been together for few months. That’s why I’m on the pill and why we use condoms, Bell.” She whispered quietly.

“I know but if you are, we can do it okay?” He spoke quietly and pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head.

“I know.” She whispered leaning against him. “Together.”

“Together.” He whispered kissing her head. “Did you want to go to the store and get a test?”

“Yeah.” She mumbled quietly and turning around slowly. “I love you, Bell.”

“I love you too.” He kissed her slowly.

************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********

Clarke threw herself down onto the bed after taking the test, she glared at the test sitting on the bed. Bellamy sat down next to her, pulling her close. Clarke knew her reactions to this were affecting him but this is why she didn’t want the chance of her getting pregnant, she wasn’t ready for this. Clarke’s whole body tensed up when the alarm went off on her phone. Bellamy leant forward slowly, picking up the test, he tensed up before turning to her.

“You’re pregnant.” He mumbled and she just stared at him.

“What?” her voice came out so small, she felt her heart sink in her chest and she swallowed, looking down.

“Hey.” He spoke quietly, lifting her chin gently to look at him. “It’s going to be okay, I promise. Together remember?”

Clarke took in a deep breath and looked at him. She knew they would be able to do this together but they had to stick together and support each other.

“Together.” She whispered quietly and he pulled her closer to his chest holding her close.

“This isn’t what we planned but we’re here and we can do this.” He spoke quietly, kissing her head.

“I don’t think we should tell anyone for a while.” She mumbled as she pulled away from him slowly.

“How far along do you think you are?” Bellamy watched her, running a hand through his mop of curls.

Clarke frowned, grabbing her phone, opening the app that she used to track her period. She clicked onto the pregnancy section, letting it automatically calculate based on last period.

“6 weeks.” She threw her phone down with a sigh.

“How long do you want to wait?” His eyes were following her every movement; he was analyzing her.

“Until I give birth?” she let out a nervous laugh.

“Babe.” He eyed her as he put a hand on her cheek, knowing how much this was upsetting her.

“We can tell everyone After 14 weeks.” She ran her hand through her hair and rested her cheek more against his hand. “I’m still trying to process this.” She pressed a kiss to the palm of his hand before getting up. “I should start making breakfast.” She walked downstairs to the kitchen.

Bellamy followed her downstairs and watched her stop at the sink, taking a deep breath. He wrapped his arms around her waist kissing her just behind her ear as he held her from behind. His arms being tight around her made her feel comforted and protected, she felt some of the tension leave her body. She relaxed, leaning against him, letting out a long breath.

“I love you, Clarke,” Bellamy spoke in a low husky voice. “I know this isn’t what we planned but this baby is a part of our lives now. I know you’re scared because we haven’t worked everything out yet and it’s sooner than we wanted. We can do this.” He held her tighter and kissed her cheek. “Together.”

“Together.” She agreed, putting her hands on top of his on her stomach. “I love you too.” She whispered quietly.

Tybe and Aurora walked downstairs slowly, hand in hand. They slid into the stools at the island and Clarke passed them cups of coffee and tea.

“How are you Clarke after yesterday?” Aurora asked quietly.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Clarke shook her head, getting the bacon and the eggs of the fridge.

“I’m here if you need to talk.” Aurora offered.

“I’m not putting you in the middle of this.” Clarke shook her head and started to get everything ready for breakfast.

The was a silence hanging in the kitchen as Clarke turned her back to start cooking the bacon and eggs, she was trying her best not gag from the smell of the eggs.

“Bell, Tybe and I wanted to tell you something,” Aurora spoke up with a smile to Bellamy who was getting out the plates for breakfast.

“What’s up?” Bellamy raised an eyebrow slowly.

“You’re going to have a new baby brother or sister.” Aurora smiled holding Tybe’s hand.

“Serious?” Bellamy’s voice proved how shocked he was.

“I’m not that old Bellamy.” Aurora scolded with a smile.

“I’m not saying that Mom, I’m just shocked.” Bellamy tried to explain himself. “Clarke and I are having a baby too.” He spoke quickly before realizing what he had said.

“Bell.” Clarke snapped her head to his direction and frowned deeply.

“Really?” Aurora smiled widely.

“We literally only found out twenty minutes ago.” Clarke sighed rubbing the back of her neck. “Please don’t tell anyone else, it’s way too soon.”

“We won’t but I’m happy for you two.” Aurora smiled, taking her mug of tea in between her hands. “I’m so happy you two are together, you’re good for each other.” She smiled widely. “When did it start?”

“The day before Octavia’s wedding.” Bellamy took over cooking the eggs and bacon, realizing that Clarke was struggling with the smell.

“Hi, Nana,” Madi spoke quietly and slid onto the stool next to Aurora.

“Good morning, my little Madi.” Aurora smiled and kissed Madi’s head. “You’re growing up so fast.”

Clarke smiled and walked around to the other side of the island, standing behind Madi.

“I can’t believe my little girl starts school soon.” Clarke smiled and went to kiss Madi’s head but Madi frowned moving away from her mother’s touch.

“Don’t kiss me. You’re mean to O.” Madi frowned, glaring at Clarke. “I hate you.”

“Madi,” Aurora frowned deeply. “Say sorry to your mom, that’s a really horrible thing to say. Your Mom loves you very much.”

“No she doesn’t, O said she loves Theo and Mini more.” Madi shook her head and frowned deeper.

“I’m going to get some air,” Clarke mumbled and walked out to the back porch.

“Madi, Mommy loves you very much, don’t listen to O anymore.” Bellamy gave his daughter a stern look. “Now, go outside and say sorry to Mommy now please.”

“No, I hate her!” Madi snapped and ran upstairs.

“I’m going to check on Clarke,” Aurora spoke quietly and walked out the back door to find Clarke sitting on the outdoor lounge. “Are you okay?” she asked quietly and sat down next to her.

“Yeah, I know Madi doesn’t mean it.” Clarke sighed running a hand through her hair. “I just don’t understand why Octavia hates me.”

“It’s Luna,” Aurora grumbled. “Octavia has always let bad people manipulate her. She never realizes that its happening. It’s one of her flaws that I wish I could change about her.”

“I’m hurt, angry and sad. She knows me better than most people.” Clarke’s voice broke as she spoke quietly. “I just don’t know why she would turn on me because of something Luna said. Now she’s bringing Madi into this, it’s too far.”

“I’m going to talk to her.” Aurora shook her head. “The kids should never be brought into it.”

“No, I’m not putting you in the middle of this.” Clarke shook her head and stood up slowly. “I’ll talk to her.”

Clarke walked back inside slowly with a small sigh but smiled when Minerva ran to her with her arms reached out. Clarke scooped her up and kissed her head.

“Good morning Mini.” Clarke smiled as Minerva cuddled up to her. “Love you baby girl.”

“Mom and Dad are dating!” Jasper walked downstairs with a wide grin and Theo in his arms.

“Dadda!” Mini grinned widely.

“I’m so happy.” Jasper grinned as Theo reached for Clarke, whining as he did.

Clarke put Theo on her free hip and kissed his head.

“You okay?” Bellamy walked over to Clarke.

“Yeah.” Clarke nodded slowly and gave Bellamy a small kiss.

“No!” Theo screamed as he pushed Bellamy away from Clarke.

“Isn’t Daddy allowed to kiss Mommy?” Bellamy smiled watching his son.

“No,” Theo mumbled hugging Clarke more.

“But Daddy loves Mommy,” Bellamy smirked and kissed Clarke again.

“No!” Theo started to cry loudly.

“Don’t tease him Bell.” Clarke frowned and kissed Theo’s head. “He doesn’t like people touching his Mommy.”

“He can’t even say, Mommy.” Bellamy teased.

“Ma!” Theo shouted loudly as he cuddled Clarke.

“Yeah, baby.” Clarke grinned and kissed his head. “I’m your Mommy. Can you say it again?” Her heart swelled at Theo calling her Ma.

“Ma,” Theo mumbled and Clarke kissed his head.

“Good boy.” Clarke smiled widely. “Yay!”

“Yay!!!” Theo grinned throwing his hands up in the air.

Clarke put Minerva and Theo down, she winced as a sharp pain shot through her abdomen.

“Babe?” Bellamy frowned worried.

“I’m fine, just bent down the wrong way,” Clarke assured and with a sigh.

“Get some food okay?” Bellamy spoke quietly and started to get breakfast for Minerva and Theo.

Raven and Murphy came downstairs with yawns, followed by Lincoln and Octavia with Madi, sticking close to Octavia.

“Monty and Harper have gone out for breakfast with Jordan,” Raven explained grabbing a plate.

Clarke served up herself some Bacon, toast and some fruit with Octavia standing close behind her dishing herself breakfast.

“No eggs huh?” Octavia scoffed, shaking her head. “Do you really think it’s wise for you two to have another baby?”

“Octavia,” Lincoln growled, obviously annoyed at his wife’s actions.

“It’s true, Clarke hates the smell of eggs and refuses to eat them when she’s pregnant.” Octavia shrugs. “They’re in no position to have another baby.”

“That’s not any of your business, O.” Raven narrowed her eyes at Octavia. “If Bellamy and Clarke are having another baby, it’s their business. After the shit you pulled yesterday, you’ll be lucky to have any part of their baby’s life.” She spoke through her teeth.

“So you’re taking HER side?” Octavia shot a glare at Clarke as She took a seat at the island.

“There are no sides, O,” Clarke spoke up from her seat. “What this is.” She gestured between them. “Is between us, I’m not going to let you drag everyone else into this.”

“Oh cause you’re so high and mighty.” Octavia snapped. “You never think about anyone else but yourself, you never consider anyone else. You’re always so fucking selfish.”

“Enough O!” Bellamy shouted. “You’re really going to call Clarke selfish?” He scoffed shaking his head. “Who bought you Chewy? Who paid for your wedding dress?” He glared at his sister. “Have you even told Lincoln that Clarke spent $12,000 on catering for your wedding because ordered all of the expensive stuff without even thinking about how much it was going to cost for all of your guests?”

There was an awkward silence in the room as everyone stared between the two couples.

“Is it true?” Lincoln looked at his wife.

“He’s lying to stir trouble,” Octavia mumbled but it was obvious she wasn’t telling the truth.

“I’ll work it out to pay you back Clarke,” Lincoln spoke quietly taking his plate and sitting down at the island.

“Despite all of this, you guys are family, I’m happy to pay for it,” Clarke spoke up as she pushed her plate away.

“We’re out of coffee,” Murphy grumbled.

“I’ll pick some up later,” Clarke mumbled and grabbed her juice before walking outside.

Clarke leant against the railing looking out at the lake, she took a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill her lungs. Bellamy walked out and wrapped his arms around her from behind, his hands resting on her stomach.

“You okay?” Bellamy whispered and kissed the spot behind her ear.

“I just feel sick,” Clarke whispered and put her hands on top of his.

“How long have you been getting morning sickness?” He rested his chin on top of her head as he held her close.

“A little over a week, it’s what made me realize that I might be pregnant.” She spoke quietly, closing her eyes hoping that the fresh would ease her nausea. “It didn’t happen this early when I was pregnant with Theo but the same smells were setting me off.”

“What sets you off?” He tightens his hold around her, pulling her closer to his chest.

“Eggs, my old deodorant, the aftershave you wear, Ro, dirty diapers, perfume, chicken and you, when you’re smelly.” She leant her head back, taking another deep breath.

“How did O know you’re pregnant?” He asked quietly.

“She guessed it when I was pregnant with Theo too. She knows me better than I do sometimes.” She mumbled looked down slowly. “I don’t get it Bell.”

“Me either.” He sighed kissing the back of her head.

“I love you.” She whispered quietly.

“I love you too.” He smiled, kissing her neck.

************ *********** ************ *********** ************ *********** ************ ***********

The tension was growing within the lake house, Clarke was trying to avoid it, Bellamy was trying to stop it aggressively, Lincoln was playing peacemaker and Octavia was stirring the pot. The more the tension rose the more stressed Clarke was becoming. After two more days of it, Clarke was beyond stressed on the morning of the 4th of July. She had barely slept and exhausting. Clarke finished making some of the salads and walked outside slowly to Bellamy who was standing at the grill. She leant against the railing of the porch, she wasn’t feeling well, her head was spinning and she felt weak. She hated the feeling.

“Hey, babe.” Bellamy stepped away from the grill and gave her a quick kiss. “Are you feeling okay? You’re pale.”

“I’m just feeling off,” Clarke mumbled quietly. “I want to go home in the morning, I’m over this fighting and the drama.”

“I was actually going to suggest it to you later.” He spoke quietly.

Clarke sighed and hugged Bellamy, burying her head into his chest. He kissed the top of her head gently as she hissed from a pain that shot through her abdomen.

“Clarke?” He pulled back and examining her face with a frown.

“I’m okay.” She said unconvincingly.

“Clarke,” He lowered his voice. “What’s wrong?” the look he was giving her made it obvious that he was serious.

“I’m having some cramps.” She admitted looking down.

“Shit, Clarke.” Panic filled his face. “We need to get you and the baby checked out.”

“Yeah.” She nodded slowly.

“Lincoln? Can you take over?” Bellamy looked over at Lincoln who was sitting on the deck chairs with Octavia.

“Is everything okay?” Aurora frowned, worried.

“Do you mind watching the kids?” Bellamy asked quietly as Lincoln took over the grill.

“Of course, is everything okay?” Aurora asked again quietly.

“She’s probably being a drama queen,” Octavia muttered as she got up walking over to Lincoln. “She can’t use being pregnant as an excuse. She gets pregnant by accident for the third time, that doesn’t happen. Maybe she’s just that fucking stupid to not know how birth control works. You don’t deserve to be pregnant.” She sneered.

“Shut up O,” Bellamy growled before ushering Clarke inside to grab their wallets and keys before taking her to the car.

Panic filled Clarke as it dawned on her what was happening. Her chest was tightening and tears started to sting her eyes. Bellamy holding her hand and kissing the back of it did nothing to soothe her nerves.

“It’ll be okay,” Bellamy whispered as they got closer to the hospital.

Chapter Text

Driving back from the hospital alone felt somber. Bellamy raked his hand down his face as he drove, it was a long painful day of sitting, waiting, seeing doctors, hearing answers and holding Clarke's hand. He only felt comfortable driving back to the lake house to collect some clothes for her after she fell asleep. He was hoping to be back before she woke up, he hated the thought of her waking up alone. He pulled into the driveway and just waited for a moment, taking in everything that had happened that day. He sighed forcing himself to get out of the car, he knew he was going to barraged with questions as soon as he got in the door. He took a deep breath and prepared himself before opening the door. He walked in to find everyone sitting in the lounge room, there was a sense of worry hanging in the room. Bellamy was surprised to see his sister looking worried after what she had said to Clarke. He frowned slightly noticing the absence of his children but brushed it off realizing they were probably having a nap. His mother was the first one to notice his presence, she looked at him with the panicked filled eyes of a mother. Of course, she was the most worried, Clarke was a daughter to her.

"How's Clarke and the baby?" Aurora spoke up, gripping Tybe's hand tightly.

The baby. It hurt to even think about it, he had been avoiding it and focusing on Clarke, making sure she was okay. He hadn't really thought about it before this moment.

"Clarke will be okay, she needs to stay in the hospital for a few days, she had some complications so the doctors are keeping an eye on her." Bellamy's voice came out quieter than usual with no energy behind his words.

There was a pause among them all as they took in his words.

"The baby?" Harper spoke up in a small, worried voice.

Like his mother, Harper was holding onto Monty's hand tightly to the point where her knuckles were turning white from her tight grip. The worry was evident on her face and her eyes glistened with tears that were threatening to spill. Looking at her made Bellamy want to break but he needed to be strong for Clarke and their family.

"We lost the baby." Bellamy's voice came out in a heartbroken tone and he hung his head low knowing he'd break at the reactions of his family.

"She lost the baby?" Octavia said in a quiet defeated voice.

Hearing Octavia's voice sent a pulse of rage through Bellamy, he glared at his sister, hatred filling his eyes.

"She lost the baby right after you told her she didn't deserve to be pregnant!" Bellamy screamed making Octavia and some of the others jumped, shocked from his outburst. "Do you know how much your words are going to fuck with her head? Thanks to your words she thinks that deserved to lose the baby!"

"I didn't want her to lose the baby." Octavia was on the verge of tears as she looked at her brother.

"What a great best friend you are! Don't act like you're so fucking upset over this! This wasn't your child!" Bellamy screamed, his anger making the tears that were in his eyes disappear. "You have no fucking idea what you've put Clarke through this last week, she been there for you through everything, she will do anything for you and you just throw her under the bus. Even after all of the shit you've pulled, she's still doesn't mind bearing the cost from your wedding! You've destroyed her!" He moved closer to his sister. "And for what? Fucking Luna! Why would you even agree to meet with her when you know she hates Clarke?"

"Bell I'm-." Octavia started to speak with tears in her eyes but he cut her off.

"Make sure you say goodbye to the kids today because there is no way in hell I'm letting you around my kids again." He spoke through his teeth as tears started to stream down his sister's face before he stalked upstairs.

Bellamy made quick work of packing up Clarke's things before heading back downstairs, he dropped the bag at the bottom of the stairs and walked into the movie room to find Theo, Minerva and Madi fast asleep. He kissed their heads before walking out closing the door of the room silently. Raven was waiting by the stairs for him, she picked up the bag and handed it to him.

"Thanks," Bellamy mumbled quietly.

"When can I go see her?" Raven asked quietly watching him slowly.

"She doesn't really want to see anyone right now, she barely wants me there." He mumbled rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, I understand." She spoke quietly. "Murphy and I can drive them home with us, so you don't have to worry about it."

"Thanks, Raven, that'll actually help a lot, I'll leave their car seats here tomorrow, I've got to come back and pack up the rest of our stuff. They're keeping her for a few days, tomorrow I'll have a better idea of when I can bring her home." He spoke quietly.

"Was it really that bad?" She frowned worried and watched him nod slowly.

"She had to have emergency surgery, they have to watch her because her vitals got really low. She was sleeping when I left, the nurse gave her medication to help her sleep because her body needs to rest." He spoke quietly, his voice was shaky as he spoke. "I'll ask Clarke if you can come to see her tomorrow."

"I don't want to bother her, I'll come to see her when she gets home, she'll probably be more comfortable that way." She walked with Bellamy back to the car.

"I'll still ask her, it might be good for her." He put the bag in the boot of the car.

"Thanks, Bell." she gave him a small sad smile.

"Thanks for watching the kids." he returned the somber smile before getting into the car.

********* ********** ******** ********* *********

Bellamy found Clarke curled up in a ball when he came back from getting breakfast when he had left her she was laying spread up out on her side. He immediately knew she was awake, he put the coffee on the table along with the pastries. He took his seat beside her bed and brushed the hair out of her face.

"Hey, is the pain getting bad again? Want me to get the nurse again?" He spoke in a soft kind voice.

"I'm okay." Clarke's voice came out croaky as she watched him. "What time did you go back last night?"

"I stayed here, Raven offered to watch the kids and take them back home with her tomorrow." He spoke quietly and took her hand in his as she nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry, Bell." She sobbed as tears began to spill down her cheeks again.

"You did nothing wrong, you don't need to apologize for anything." He wiped away her tears.

"I told you I didn't want to be pregnant, it's my fault this happened." She sobbed quietly.

"It wasn't your fault, Clarke." He moved to get on the bed and pulled her into his arms. "You did nothing wrong." He assured as he kissed the top of her head.

Clarke held onto him tightly as she cried. Bellamy knew the only thing he could do was hold her and let her cry, he was trying his best to hold back his emotions because he needed to be strong for her. She needed him to be strong. He cursed inwardly as one of his own tears ran down his cheek. Clarke sat up slowly, realizing this, she wiped away the stray tear on his cheek and gave him a gentle kiss.

"I love you," she whispered, pressing her forehead against his.

"I love you too." He leant in slowly giving her another kiss.

"Is that coffee?" She asked once they separated from their kiss.

"I thought you'd want something other than hospital food for breakfast." He gave her a small smile.

"Thank you for breakfast and for staying with me." Her lips gave the slightest hint of a smile, the first thing that was close to a smile since before this happened.

Bellamy knew she was in a lot of pain, not only physically but emotionally as well. That smile no matter how small it was gave him the assurance that she was going to be okay. It was definitely going to take some time but no matter how dark their lives were in this moment, there was always a light, they just had to find it.

********* ********** ******** ********* *********

Bellamy kept his hand firmly around Clarke's waist as he helped her into the house. It had been four days since she had gone into hospital and the three-hour drive home had taken it out of her. He knew everyone was coming over, it was actually Clarke's idea, she knew they were all worried about her. By the time they got into the house, they could hear the kids squealing as they played. Bellamy helped Clarke sit down to the lounge.

"I'll get you some coffee." Bellamy gave Clarke a quick kiss before starting to walk away but Clarke caught his hand.

"I love you," Clarke whispered quietly.

"I love you too." He gave her a smile before leaning down and kissing her slowly. "I'll be back okay, call out if you need anything."

He kissed her forehead before walking into the kitchen, he found Raven and Murphy cooking while Madi watched from one of the stools.

"Hey, Madz." He kissed the top of Madi's head. "Mommy's in the lounge room, can you go say hi?"

"Is mommy mad at me?" Madi looked up at him with her big eyes that here identical to her mother's, he loved Clarke's eyes.

"No, Mommy isn't mad at you." He assured and hugged his daughter. "Just be gentle when you hug Mommy okay."

"Is Mommy still sick?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah, Mommy is sick." He mumbled pulling away from Madi. "So say hi to Mommy." he watched her run into the lounge room.

"How's Clarke?" Raven asked quietly after she put the baking dish in the oven.

"She's being Clarke." Bellamy sighed sitting down. "Hiding the fact that this is tearing her apart. Hiding the fact that she hurting. she thinks she has to be strong."

"That's Clarke." Raven sighed. "She did that when Roan died and she hid it when she had postpartum depression after having Theo." She mumbled running her hand through her hair.

"Yeah, Nyko is putting her back on the antidepressants, the hospital sent their reports to him and he called on the way back today. I need to go pick up the prescription tomorrow." He sighed rubbing the back of his neck.

"How are you?" She watched him carefully.

"I'm okay. Drained but okay." He nodded slowly. "Go see her, she's been wanting to see her." He gave Raven a small smile. "Thank you for looking after the kids."

"It's no problem, they had fun with their aunt Birdie and uncle Doo Doo." Raven smiled hugging Bellamy.

"I told you not to call me that," Murphy grumbled drying his hands on a towel before throwing it on the bench.

"Too bad the name has stuck." Raven poked her tongue out at Murphy before walking into the lounge room.

"I kind of like the name," Bellamy smirked looking at Murphy.

"My kids are going to call you fucking ding dong," Murphy grumbled, glaring at Bellamy.

"I look forward to it." Bellamy chuckled getting up, pouring three cups of coffee. "Thank you for watching the kids, it was a big help."

"It's okay, they were good. It's good practice, you know." Murphy rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "If Raven and I ever decide to... settle down." he shrugged.

"Don't sound so terrified." Bellamy chuckled, handing him a cup before walking into the lounge room with the other two cups. "Here babe." he handed Clarke a cup with a small smile.

Madi was curled into Clarke's side while Clarke kept her arm their daughter. Theo and Minerva were playing with blocks on the floor by her feet. While Raven was on the other side of Clarke with her head on Clarke's shoulder, Bellamy smiled and handed Raven the other cup of coffee.

"Everyone should be here soon," Clarke spoke quietly as Bellamy sat down in the armchair across from the lounge.

"Mom said she's bringing over a chocolate and salted caramel pudding," Bellamy spoke quietly as he picked up Minerva when she wattled over to him.

"That sounds so good." Clarke smile slowly, resting her head on top of Raven's. "I need to pee." She mumbled and started to shifted to get up.

Bellamy jumped up, adjusting Minerva at his side and rushed over to Clarke to help her up. She pushed away his hand with a glare up at him.

"Space, Bell." Clarke snapped. "Give me some damn space." She winced as she managed to get onto her feet. "You're always hovering, I hate it. I really hate you sometimes." She growled.

Bellamy stepped back and sat back down wordlessly as she walked passed him, making her way to the downstairs bathroom. Bellamy put Minerva back down letting her go play again.

"She didn't mean it." Raven tried to explain, the look of pity on her face was clear.

"It's okay, the doctor warned me that she'll get mood swings and will most likely snap a lot at me because I'm the one around her the most." Bellamy rubbed the back of his neck. "I should probably make myself scarce for a little while, I'll gonna do some laundry."

Bellamy got up slowly and walked upstairs to start gathering the dirty clothes.

********* ********** ******** ********* *********

Bellamy understood that Clarke needed space from him, she needed the space from him. Maybe he reminded her of what happened, maybe it was because he had barely left her side in days, maybe it was both of them. Either way, he was going to give her space and be there for her when she wanted him. Right now, she wanted to be around their kids and their family. He kept back a little, giving her physical space but stayed close enough that he'd be there if she wanted him. He kept busy by catching up on housework and anything else that needed to be done around the house. The back screen door was becoming loose, so he took it off and started to unscrew the hinges off the door when Aurora walked out to the backyard.

"Are you okay?" Aurora asked quietly watching her son carefully. "What are you doing?"

"Yeah, the door was coming loose, I'm just checking if I need to strip the drill holes or if need to just tighten it," Bellamy mumbled, keeping his focus on the door.

"I mean what are you doing out here and not inside with Clarke?" A frown appeared on her face as she watched him.

"Clarke wants space from me, I'm giving her space." He did move his attention from the door.

"She might want you inside with them." She suggested quietly. "Come back inside."

Bellamy straighten up slowly and put the screwdriver down with a sigh, he knew Clarke was going to snap at him but he was going try anyway.

"Okay." He mumbled following his mother inside.

They found Clarke on the lounge with Minerva and Theo curled up on her lap, they friends were spread across the other lounges, bean bags and the floor. Aurora took her seat next to Tybe again as Bellamy just stood behind the lounge that Clarke was sitting on. He shoved his hands in his pockets and stepped closer to the lounge.

"Babe, do you need anything?" Bellamy asked quietly knowing she was going to snap at him like she had the last time he asked.

"Space from you." Clarke's tone was angry as she shot a glare up at him. "How many times do I need to tell you?" She narrowed

"Sorry." He mumbled, turning on heels walking out the back again.

He went back to fixing the door, knowing he should've left Clarke alone.

********* ********** ******** ********* *********

Bellamy was the last to come in for dinner, everyone was already halfway through eating by the time he came in. He grabbed a plate and dished himself some food. All the seats were full so he carried his plate outside and sat on the back steps. He ate in silence as it started to get dark, he ducked his head as he ate in silence. He cleared his plate and walked back inside, putting his plate in the dishwasher silently.

"Bell?" Raven's voice echoed behind him.

"Yeah?" Bellamy turned around slowly to face Raven.

"Why don't you take my seat next to Clarke for dessert?" Raven's voice was low, so the others didn't hear her.

"She wants space from me, sitting the next to her right now is exactly what I shouldn't do." He mumbled rubbing the back of his next. "I've got to get the kids ready for bed," he mumbled walking over to Minerva and Theo who had been freed from their highchairs. "Bath time." He smiled at them, scooping them both up. "Madz, do you want to have a bath with Mini and Theo or after they're done?"

"After," Madi mumbled playing with her hair.

Bellamy nodded and carried the two toddlers upstairs to the kid's bathroom.

********* ********** ******** ********* *********

Sleeping alone felt weird, Bellamy laid on his back staring at the ceiling. A sigh left his lips, he should be relaxed to sleep in a bed for the first time in over four days. He knew he wasn't going to sleep very much. He hated sleeping without Clarke curled up into his side, her head resting on his chest. Giving Clarke space was hurting him, he wanted to be there for her but the fact she didn't want him there hurt. The door creaked open, he assumed it was one of the kids and sat up slowly. He found Clarke standing at the doorway nervously.

"Come one." Bellamy pulled back the blanket and she crawled into the bed quickly.

She laid down and Bellamy laid back down, pulling the blanket over them and pulled her into his arms. He pressed a kiss to her forehead gently.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you so much today." Clarke's whispered as she pressed her hands against his bare chest.

"It's okay." He held her tighter. "I'm always going to be here for you, I'm not going anywhere."

"I love you." She whispered quietly and looked up at him slowly.

"I love you too." He kissed her slowly, pulling her closer. "If you need to be alone, you just need to ask me, okay? If you want, I can take the kids to my Mom's for a few hours."

"That'll be good." She whispered kissing him again.

"Get some sleep." He settled down, yawning slowly.

Chapter Text

It wasn’t fair. Just as Clarke was getting used to the idea of having another baby it was ripped away from her. The last six weeks had been horrid. All she could think about was what had happened and she was constantly snapping at Bellamy. She didn’t want to but it just kept happening, being around him reminded her what happened. She hated seeing the heartbreak in his eyes every time she did snap at him. Every night, after they’d gone to bed, she’d creep into his room, climb into bed with him and apologise, every night he forgave her. She hated herself for putting him through all of this. She wished she hadn’t told him she was pregnant then he would’ve had to go through all of this pain. Distraction was the key for her now, she needed to keep her mind busy. Working on the plans for the restaurant conversion kept her mind busy most of the time. She was trying her best to relax and not get dressed out at home. Despite the fact she hated them, the antidepressants Nyko had prescribed were helping a lot, they had taken a little while to kick in but once they had she felt more level. She still had to work through a lot of things but seeing a counsellor was helping her work through those things. The councillor praised Bellamy on how supportive and understanding he was being especially when things got bad, he never seemed to falter. This made Clarke love him more, for better or worse he was there for her, facing everything together. 

Clarke came downstairs after putting Minerva and Theo to bed. She found Bellamy sitting on the lounge with Madi on his lap, he had her favourite book and was teaching her how to read. He had been doing this for three weeks and was amazed by how fast Madi was learning. Bellamy would help her sound out each word and understand each letter. Clarke watched them with a smile as Madi yawned loudly, trying to keep her eyes open.

“Ready for bed baby?” Clarke spoke quietly as she watched Madi yawn again.

“Night Daddy.” Madi gave Bellamy a kiss before crawling off the lounge.

“Night Madz.” Bellamy smiled and watch his daughter run over to Clarke. “You right to put her to bed?”

“Yeah, just relax.” Clarke smiled and took Madi’s hand taking her upstairs.

Madi was almost asleep when Clarke tucked her into bed, Clarke kissed Madi’s forehead gently.

“Night baby, I love you,” Clarke whispered.

“Love you, Mommy,” Madi mumbled almost asleep.

Clarke walked back downstairs slowly, she found Bellamy sitting in the same spot, reading a thick history book. His glasses were slipping down the bridge of his nose but he pushed them back up with ease. His focus left the book, even when Clarke moved in front of him. They hadn’t done anything sexual in over six weeks, not even a hand job or a blowjob. She was given the all clear from Nyko two weeks after she was discharged from hospital but emotionally she wasn’t ready. Bellamy was completely understanding and patient letting her make the first move. She got down on her knees in front of Bellamy, he was still engrossed in his book. Clarke smirked and ran her hands up his legs until she made it to the waistband of his pants. He inhaled sharply and looked down at her, he was growing hard already.

“Clarke.” He breathed out, putting his book aside.

“Just relax.” She whispered, freeing him from his pants.

“Come here.” He motioned for her to come closer and she obliged, pushing up and kissing him gently. “Come here.” He pulled her onto his lap, deepening the kiss.

She moved to straddle his hips as he pulled her closer and kissed her harder.

“Bell.” She moaned pulling away from the kiss. “I wanted to do something for you before we do this.”

“I’m not going to last long, I want to make you feel good too.” He whispered and put her hand on her cheek.

“I want to do this.” She kissed him again for sinking down onto her knees.

Before he could say anything, she had freed him from his pants and taken him into her mouth.

“Fuck babe.” He threw his head back and moaned loudly.

She hummed as she deep throated almost his entire length, the hum sent vibrations down his shaft causing him to moan louder. Clarke kept a steady pace, using her hand to gently squeeze the base where her mouth couldn’t quite reach even when deep throating him.

“So good.” He moaned as he laced his fingers into her hair and pulled it out of her face.

Clarke picked up the pace and she felt him start to pulse, letting her know that he was going to cum soon. She thought she had more time but soon he took her by surprise by cumming in her mouth. She swallowed as much as she could, letting the rest spill onto her hand. She sat back catching her breath while Bellamy had his head laid back panting, coming down slowly. Clarke grabbed the baby wipes off the coffee table and cleaned up her hand.

“Do you want something to drink?” Clarke asked quietly as she stood up slowly.

“Water would be good, thanks, babe.” Bellamy smiled and pulled up his pants.

*********** *********** *********** ***********

A knock on the front door forced Clarke to pull herself out of bed. They were having a lazy morning, the kids had crawled into bed with them a few hours earlier. They put cartoons on the tv they had in the bedroom and just chilled. Clarke stretched as she walked down the stairs to the front door. She opened the door to find Octavia standing at her front door. Clarke felt anger boiling up inside her. Seeing Octavia at work was different, at work Clarke didn’t have to interact with Octavia if she didn’t have to and when she did it was strictly professional.

“Clarke, I’m so so-.” Octavia started but Clarke interrupted her by slapping her across the face hard.

“Don’t you dare think that you can just come over, apologize and everything goes back to normal,” Clarke spoke through her teeth.

“Clarke, please, you’re my best friend. You’re my sister.” Octavia pleaded, the pain was obvious in her voice but Clarke didn’t care.

“Was your best friend. Was your sister. You’re the one who ended our friendship.” Clarke kept her voice even as they spoke. “After everything I’ve done for you, after 21 years you’ve thrown that away for what? The words of Luna?”

“You don’t understand Clarke, she convinced me that you changed Roan’s will after he died.” Octavia ran her hand through her hair. “She had a copy of his will, the house and the bar were supposed to be left to her.”

“And you believed her? You were meant to be my best friend, O.” Clarke scoffed shaking her head. “I went to court with her and won, his will is legal. So what you believed that she was supposed to get everything? What about Theo? So Luna was meant to get everything because she was married to Roan for a year, ten years before he died? But his son gets nothing?” Clarke shook her head slowly.

“Clarke.” Octavia started but Clarke put her hand up to stop her.

“We’re not friends anymore, O. The only reason why I haven’t cut you out is that your Bell’s sister, my kids’ aunt and I don’t want to make our friends feel like they have to choose. The things you said to me are unforgivable.” Clarke crossed her arms. “Nothing is going to be the same again and that’s on you.”

Octavia stood there in shock and Clarke just closed the door in Octavia’s face. Clarke wanted to scream at Octavia but didn’t want the kids to hear her. Clarke walked back upstairs and climbed back into bed.

“Everything all good?” Bellamy asked quietly as he sat up slowly.

“Yeah, it was O-C-T-A-V-I-A,” Clarke spoke quickly so Madi wouldn’t catch on.

“You okay?” He frowned worriedly.

“Yeah,” She nodded slowly and he leant over the kissed her slowly.

“No my Momma!” Theo screamed pushing Bellamy away from Clarke.

“Can’t Daddy kiss Mommy?” Bellamy looked shocked at Theo.

“No my Momma!” Theo crawled onto Clarke’s lap.

“Well, I’m going to kiss Mommy again cause Daddy loves Mommy.” Bellamy smiled kissing Clarke again only to have Theo push Bellamy away.

“Do you want a kiss, Theo?” Clarke smiled and kissed Theo’s cheek.

“Me me me,” Minerva mumbled crawling over to Clarke.

“Kisses for Mini.” Clarke smiled and kissed her cheek gently. “Can you say, Momma?”

“Mama.” Minerva grinned widely.

“Yay! Good girl!” Clarke grinned and kissed her daughter’s cheek.

“I think we should go out for breakfast,” Bellamy suggested and Madi sat up at Bellamy’s suggestion.

“That sounds good, we could go to that place with the indoor playground.” Clarke thought it would be a more relaxed place for breakfast because the kids could play if they got bored.

“Can we walk there, daddy?” Madi asked quietly.

“Yeah, go get dressed.” Bellamy smiled and watched Madi run to her room.

*********** *********** *********** ***********

Clarke held Madi’s hand as they walked down the street while Bellamy pushed the pram with Theo and Minerva. Clarke found Bellamy the most attractive when he was doing anything with the kids. They were almost at the kids café when Clarke saw two people walking towards them that she really didn’t want to see, either together or apart. Echo and Liam, together, holding hands, walking towards them. Clarke glanced over at Bellamy, his jaw was locked and he was glaring at the couple in front of them. Madi squeezed Clarke’s hand nervously when she saw the couple, Clarke knew Madi didn’t like Liam at all after what happened last summer. What Clarke didn’t know was if Madi remembered Echo and Echo had done to her.

“Look what we have here,” Liam smirked as they stopped in front of them. “You’re shaking up with my ex so I thought I’d shack up with yours.”

“Like I care.” Bellamy walked around them and Clarke did the same.

“Have you gotten the papers from the lawyer yet?” Echo smirked as she turned around, her words made Clarke and Bellamy stop in their tracks.

“What papers?” Bellamy turned around as he spoke through his teeth.

“I’m filing to have the termination of my parental rights reversed so you can’t keep me out of my daughter’s life.” Echo continued to smirk.

“I’ve kept her away from you? You signed away your rights voluntarily.” Bellamy scoffed, shaking his head.

“I’m her mother, Bellamy and I intend to be in her life.” Echo dropped Liam’s hand and crossed her arms.

“You’re her Mother?” Clarke felt anger building up inside her. “You carried her and gave birth to her that’s it. I’m her mother, I breastfed her, I take care of her when she’s sick, I’ve raised her. When she wakes up in the middle of the night crying wanting her Mommy, she wants me not you.”

“I have rights.” Echo growled.

“Babe, let's go.” Bellamy pulled at Clarke’s arm and she followed him, walking away from the horrid couple.

Clarke was angry that after almost 19 months, Echo can walk back in town and pretend to be some form of a mother to Minerva. Clarke and Bellamy settled down at the table in the café while the kids went off to play.

“I’ll get a meeting with the lawyer.” Clarke sighed and took a long sip of her coffee.

“Try not to get stressed out about this, we’ll leave it to the lawyer to deal with.” Bellamy kissed her cheek gently and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“It’s not fair, Bell.” She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder.

*********** *********** *********** ***********

Clarke walked downstairs after checking on the kids. Everyone was over for a movie night, including Octavia and Lincoln which didn’t bother Clarke too much because it was the whole group over. Mind you, Clarke still didn’t want to be friends with Octavia again. Everyone was staying over and Jordan was slipping in Minerva and Theo’s room. Clarke sighed running her hand through her hair and watched Murphy walk outside. Clarke followed him out and found him sitting on the back steps lighting a cigarette.

“Can I have one?” Clarke asked quietly and sat down next to Murphy.

“Will Bell kill me if do?” Murphy raised his eyebrow slowly.

“No.” She assured quietly and took the cigarette off him.

She lit the cigarette and inhaled the smoke before letting it out in a long breath.

“What happened to you guys today? You and Bell are wound up tight today.” Murphy watched her slowly. “You guys didn’t get to bang today?”

“Echo’s back in town.” She sighed quietly. “She’s filing to get her parental rights reinstated.”

“That bitch is crazy.” He shook his head taking a drag.

“You’ll never guess who she’s dating.” She let out a quiet laugh before taking a drag.

“Does she have a magic vagina or something?” He shook his head slowly.

“Well, Liam is pretty desperate.” She shrugged slowly.

“Oh god, that asshole.” He shook his head looking down.

Bellamy walked outside and sat next to Clarke, draping his arm over Clarke’s shoulders.

“Here Murph.” Bellamy passed Murphy a beer.

“Not drinking Clarkie?” Murphy raised an eyebrow slowly, taking a drag.

“Can’t drink on antidepressants,” Clarke mumbled taking a long drag, leaning her head against Bellamy.

“When are you getting off those?” Murphy asked quietly.

“After Christmas, they’re weaning me off them,” Clarke whispered quietly. “Has everyone decided on what we’re watching?” she looked at Bellamy.

“Harper brought over that lady Gaga movie, a star is born,” Bellamy spoke quietly kissing the top of her head.

“Aren’t you going to ask our dear Clarkie what she’s doing?” Murphy nodded at Clarke who was taking a long drag of her cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray she kept on the back steps for when Murphy came over.

“She can do what she wants Murph,” Bellamy shrugged. “It’s a stress reliever and if it’s not obvious already, she deals the most amount of stress out of all of us.”

“I’m surprised she hasn’t snapped and killed us all.” Murphy put out his cigarette and stood up.

“Clarke loves me too much to kill me,” Bellamy smirked and stood up. “Plus she’ll miss all of the things I do to her.”

“You better watch that mouth of yours, she’ll smack it,” Murphy smirked.
“She loves what I do with my mouth,” Bellamy smirked and kissed Clarke’s neck.

“Let’s go watch this movie,” Clarke smirked standing up kissing Bellamy slowly.

*********** *********** *********** ***********

After the movie, everyone had gone to bed, Madi was sleeping on a blow-up mattress in Minerva and Theo’s room, so everyone had somewhere to sleep. The movie made Clarke emotion and clingy towards Bellamy. Clarke cuddled up to Bellamy close when he crawled into bed after his shower.

“You okay?” He asked quietly as he held her close.

“Yeah.” She mumbled and laid her head on his chest.

“The movie huh?” He asked quietly and ran his fingers through her hair. “You’re not going to lose me.”

“It just scares me sometimes.” She rested her chin on his chest so she could look at him. “After going through losing Roan, I’m just scared that I’m going to lose you one day.”

“You’re not going to lose me, you’re stuck with me for life.” He smiled giving her a small kiss.

“I love you.” She smiled, crawling on top of him.

“I love you too.” He smirked running his hands up her body before pulling her shirt off leaving her naked. “Fucking perfect.”

Clarke leant down kissing him again as he pulled his shorts down, freeing himself. Bellamy went to flip Clarke onto her back but she stopped him with a smirk.

“I want to be on top.” She kissed him slowly and gave him a condom to slip on.

She slowly took the length of him in slowly, inch by inch. Moans leaving both of their mouths as she nestled down taking the full length of him.

“Fuck babe.” Bellamy leant up and kissed her.

Clarke started to move slowly, bringing her hips up to the point where he almost slipped out of her before sinking back down onto him with a loud moan. A loud knock at the door Made Clarke stop.

“Clarke? Are you still awake?” Harper’s voice echoed through the door, the panic was obvious in her voice.

“Something must be wrong.” Clarke got up slowly and grabbed her robe. “I’m sorry.”

“Clarke? It’s Jordan. Something’s wrong.” The panic in Harper’s voice was worse.

“Go, babe, it’s fine,” Bellamy assured giving her a quick kiss.

Clarke opened the bedroom door to find Harper holding Jordan who was vomiting over himself.

“I fed him and then he just started vomiting, I don’t know what happened.” Harper had the panicked look of a first-time mother written all over her face.

“Babe? Can you check the kids?” Clarke called out before leading Harper to the kids’ bathroom.

Clarke ran a bath and helped Harper strip off Jordan. The little boy had begun to wail not liking the way he felt.

“It’s most likely a vomiting bug, Mini and Theo had it when they were a few months younger than Jordan,” Clarke assured and put Jordan in the bath.

“Okay.” Harper’s voice was shaky and worried.

“He’s just crying because he’s not feeling well,” Clarke assured quietly. “Take over, he’ll feel comforted feeling his mom’s touch.” Clarke let Harper take over bathing Jordan. “I’m going to check on the kids.”

Clarke knew that if Jordan was sick, most likely all of the kids were sick. She was right, the other kids were sick. Clarke found Bellamy holding a bucket in front of Minerva and Theo while they vomited into the bucket. Madi was puking into a bucket held by someone Clarke didn’t expect to see, Octavia. Octavia was rubbing Madi’s back gently. There was vomit over all of the bedding.

“Let’s get them into the bath when they stop, I clean up the bedding,” Clarke spoke quietly.

“Alright, our bathroom?” Bellamy looked at her as Minerva and Theo started to cry loudly.

“Yeah.” Clarke sighed quietly. “We’re all going to get sick now, I think we’re all going to need bunk down in the house until it passes.”

This was going to be an interesting few days.

Chapter Text

By morning everyone was at some stage of the sickness, most were at the full puking stage. Bellamy and Clarke were lucky enough to have escaped the illness and hadn't even felt queasy at all but they knew it was only a matter of time. Everyone was curled up in their respective beds with buckets ready in case they needed it. The kids were passed out exhausted after being sick and crying most of the night. Bellamy made his way through the house, ensuring everyone had a water bottle beside their bed and the little kids had their sippy cups. Bellamy found Clarke sitting on their bed feeding Jordan a bottle, the mother in her never stopped, she always took care of everyone even when she was just as sick as everyone else.

"You should get some sleep," Bellamy spoke up as he got into bed next to her. 

"I will, after he finishes eating," Clarke mumbled as she yawned. "I told Harper and Monty I'd take care of him, they're so sick."

Watching Clarke feed Jordan made Bellamy's mind fill with thoughts. Some were sad, surrounding what they had lost. While others made him hopeful of what they'll have in the future. His heart swelled, he loved watching Clarke with kids. In a way, he found it sexy, Clarke was a fierce, protecting and loving mother that always put their kids first. He even thought Clarke looked sexy when she would breastfeed Minerva and Theo were younger. Maybe Bellamy was a weirdo, he didn't care, he loved her.

"What are you smirking at?" Clarke's voice broke him out of his thoughts.

"I was thinking about how much I love you and how sexy you look right now," Bellamy smirked and placed a kiss on her bare shoulder.

"Sexy?" She looked at him sceptically. "I'm a mess." She gestured at her old pyjamas that she put on after having to shower after Minerva puked on her and the fact that her hair was falling out of its messy bun.

"Still sexy." He smirked as he watched her. "I love watching you with kids." He admitted as his fingers danced down her back gently.

"Do you think we'll be able to have another baby?" Her voice was barely louder than a whisper.

"Of course we'll be able to." He spoke firmly trying to push the doubts out of her mind.

"What if I have another miscarriage?" Her voice was terrified as she kept her head hung low.

"We'll get through it together." He put his arm around her and kissed the side of her head. "There's no reason why we can't have another baby when we're ready." 

"I'm just scared." She admitted quietly and watched Jordan greedily gulp down the milk from the bottle.

"And that's okay." His arm tightened around her. "Sometimes the world can be dark but there's always light, you've just got to find it." He stroked Jordan's head gently.

"I love you." She whispered before turning to kiss him gently.

"I love you too." He smiled against her lips. "How about Uncle Bell burps this little guy?" He smiled taking Jordan once he finished his bottle.

"Two years." She spoke up as he burped Jordan gently.

"Two years?" A frown formed on his face out of confusion.

"In two years I want to try for another baby, by the time I have the baby, Mini and Theo will be in school." Her voice was full of determination, letting him know she was serious.

"Two years." He agreed and sealed it with a gentle kiss.

"The start of July." She mumbled typing on her phone.

"Are you setting a reminder on your phone?" He chuckled shaking his head.

"Two reminders actually." She put her phone on the bedside table. "One to get my birth control rod removed and a month later one to start trying."

"You dork." He chuckled kissing her.

****** ****** ****** ******* ****** ****** ******* ********

Bellamy woke up to Jordan pulling his hair, they had fallen asleep with him laying between them. The little boy grinned when Bellamy opened his eyes. Bellamy couldn’t help but smile at the little boy before sitting up. 

“Come on buddy, let your Aunty Clarke sleep.” Bellamy picked up Jordan and carried him downstairs. 

Bellamy yawned as he got a bag of Harper’s breast milk out of the freezer that they kept in case of emergency for Jordan. He heated it up like he had done so many times before with Minerva and Theo. Harper stumbled into the kitchen as Bellamy screwed the lid onto the bottle. Harper looked horrible, all of the colour was drained from her face and there were dark circles under her eyes. 

“I can take him.” Harper’s voice came out croaky and weak.

“Harper, go back to bed. I’ve got him.” Bellamy shook his head slowly. “Grab one of the sports drinks and back to bed.”

Harper didn’t argue, she grabbed a sports drink out of the fridge and walked upstairs. Bellamy started feeding Jordan when Octavia wondered downstairs.

“I need your help.” Octavia slid onto one of the stools as she watched her brother.

“What is it?” Bellamy sighed looking at his little sister.

“It’s Clarke, she won’t talk to me.” Octavia sighed.

“You’re lucky she’s even tolerating having you around,” Bellamy muttered. “What do you expect O? You hurt her, badly.”

“She’s got to forgive me, Bell.” Octavia ran her hands through her hair.

“Everyone else has to pay for their mistakes.” He glared at his sister. “You never face the consequences. Now you are. You’re a horrible person just pretending to be good” He quoted his sister’s words exactly from what she said to Clarke.

Bellamy shook his head and walked upstairs, still feeding Jordan. He walked into the bedroom he shared with Clarke to find the woman he loves up and making the bed.

“You let me sleep late.” Clarke’s voice came out as a whine, turning to him.

“You needed it, you were up all night.” Bellamy kissed her gently.

“Harper still sick?” She stroked Jordan’s cheek gently as he drank.

“Dreadfully, he tried to come downstairs but I sent her to bed again.” He sat down onto the bed slowly.

“I’ll need to make a run to the store soon, pick up some things and some condoms.” A smirk played on her lips.

“Take two tonight?” He smirked slowly.

“That’s if we don’t get sick.” She commented quietly.

“How are you feeling?” He watched Clarke carefully.

“Like I want you to throw me up against the wall and fuck me senseless.” She deadpanned. “Oh, you meant if I was feeling sick, no I’m fine.”

“I love you.” He chuckled kissing her gently.

“I love you too.” She mumbled against his lips.

****** ****** ****** ******* ****** ****** ******* ********

Fear and pain filled her eyes as she watched him carefully. Bellamy stayed expressionless as he watched her every move. Clarke bit her lip, lately, she couldn’t keep a poker face around him and he could read her like a book. He was taking it to his full advantage in this moment.

“I’m really sorry about this.” He watched as tears glistened in her eyes.

She was good, really good.

“Bell, I love you.” She looked at him, really looked at him, it was the type of look he’d usually melt at the sight of.

“I love you too.” A smirk played on his lips as he leant forward over the kitchen counter and kissed her gently.

“Bell, please.” She mumbled against his lips kissing him again.

Bellamy knew what she was trying to do but it wasn’t going to work. He sat back with a smirk as he watched her.

“I don’t want to do this.” He let out a long breath. “Believe me, babe, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“No Bell, please.” She begged.

“I don’t have any other choice.” He watched her carefully.

“No, please, I love you.” She begged again as she held back tears.

“Uno.” He smirked putting down a draw 4 on the pile of cards on the kitchen counter.

“You’re a horrible person.” Clarke snapped pushing the pile of cards towards him with a grumble.

“Babe, it’s a game.” Bellamy chuckled as Murphy and Raven walked into the kitchen.

“You’re never touching me again!” Clarke snapped making Raven and Murphy chuckle.

“She’s serious, Bell.” Raven laughed as she watched Clarke glare at Bellamy.

“We’ll see how long she lasts.” Bellamy chuckled as he got up slowly.

Madi walked downstairs and rushed towards Bellamy.

“Hey, baby.” Bellamy smiled and kissed Madi’s head.

“Theo’s not waking up,” Madi spoke up with tears in her eyes.

“Clarke!” Bellamy shouted as he raced upstairs.

Panic filled Bellamy, his stomach dropped and his chest ached. Something was wrong with his little boy. Bellamy rushed into Minerva and Theo’s bedroom. He picked up Theo quickly and realised that the little boy was just in a deep sleep, snoring peacefully. Bellamy checked the little boy's fever and relaxed when he didn’t have one. Bellamy relaxed, peppering the little boy with kisses. The little boy started to fuss as he woke up, awoken by Bellamy’s kisses.

“Hey, little man,” Bellamy whispered and kissed the toddler’s head.

“Dadda,” Theo mumbled cuddling up to Bellamy’s.

“Is he okay?” Clarke asked as she walked into the bedroom.

“Yeah, he was just in a deep sleep,” Bellamy spoke quietly and kissed Theo’s head. “I was so worried.”

“He gave us a scare.” Clarke picked up Minerva as she started to wake up.

“He must’ve been sleeping like a log.” Bellamy let out a quiet chuckle.

“Do you remember when I was still pregnant with him and Madi fell off the couch without even waking up?” Clarke let out a small laugh.

“Sometimes it scares me how deep they can sleep.” He admitted quietly. “Still mad at me?” he smirked slowly.

“No.” She shook her head slowly and kissed him gently.

Chapter Text

The vomiting bug that was afflicting them was still lingering after two days, Clarke ended up being sick with it after the kids started to get better. She couldn’t keep anything down but was trying to push through it, she had too much to do. Clarke forced herself to get up out of bed and get her day started. Her head was spinning and her stomach aches painfully. Almost everyone was better except for her, Bellamy hadn’t gotten sick at all.

“Woah Woah Woah, get back into bed.” Bellamy came out of the bathroom and frowned.

“I have things I need to do, I haven’t worked for three days, Bell,” Clarke argued as Bellamy pushed her gently to sit back down.

“I’ll bring your laptop and folder to you but you’re staying in bed.” He tucked her in slowly. “Raven, Murphy, Harper and Monty have taken Mini and Theo to Harper and Monty’s place for the day. Madi’s watching a movie, she’s still not feeling well.”

Bellamy disappeared downstairs and Clarke relaxed against the pillows. Bellamy passed her folder for the restaurant plans and other planning documents.

“Thanks, I just want to get some things done,” Clarke mumbled taking the sports drink off the bedside table.

“Call out of you need anything, I’m going to get laundry done.” He kissed the top of her head before heading downstairs.

Clarke started looking at the plans and writing notes when Madi walked in, climbing onto the bed.

“Hi, Mommy,” Madi mumbled resting her head on Clarke’s shoulder.

“Hey, baby.” Clarke smiled putting her notepad to the side.

“What’s this?” The little girl asked quietly as she stared at the floor plans curiously.

“We’re making some changes at the bar, Mommy bought the restaurant next door. So we’re making the bar bigger with a kitchen and everything.” Clarke smiled watching Madi stare at the floor plans in awe.

“What food is the kitchen going to make?” Madi looked at her mother.

“I don’t know yet baby, Mommy has to pick a chef to make a menu,” Clarke explained. “Mommy is going to have them cook for us in a few months so we can choose which one we like. Do you think you can do an important job for Mommy?”

“I can do it, I’m a big girl!” Madi grinned excitedly.

“I need you to help Mommy, Daddy and everyone at the bar to help decide which chef we should pick.” Clarke brushed Madi’s hair out of her face.

“Mommy?” Madi spoke up again.

“Yeah, baby.” Clarke stroked her hair gently.

“You love Daddy?” Madi asked quietly.

“I love your daddy very much.” Clarke smiled, putting her work and laptop on the bedside table before turning her full attention to Madi.

“Are you and Daddy going to get married like Linc and O?” Madi laid down in the bed more.

“Maybe one day.” Clarke laid down on her side, watching her daughter.

“When?” Madi started to pull her thinking face, her brow furrowed, eyes narrowed, lips pursed and her nose wrinkled.

“I don’t know, your daddy needs to ask me first but that won’t happen for a while baby.” Clarke brushed more stray hairs out of Madi’s face.

“I’ll talk to him.” Madi jumped off the bed and ran downstairs.

Clarke laughed quietly watching her daughter leave, only to return a few minutes later, excited.

"Daddy said that he'll marry you when he's ready." Madi giggled loudly.

"Stop sending Madi to do your dirty work!" Bellamy's voice echoed from downstairs, the amusement obvious in his voice.

"I'm not!" Clarke called out laughing quietly.

"Bullshit!" Bellamy called out again.

"Bullshit Mommy!" Madi echoed giggling.

"Don't copy what Daddy says, he's saying bad words," Clarke spoke quietly. "Bell, you're making our daughter swear!" Clarke called out with a slight frown before Bellamy appeared at the doorway.

"That's not a bad word Mommy, Fuck is a bad word," Madi spoke in a matter of fact voice, putting her hands on her hips.

"Madi." Bellamy frowned deeply. "Where did you learn that?"

"You said it the other night really loud when everyone went to bed, then Mommy said it really loud yesterday before breakfast." Madi started to explain and Clarke felt her cheeks start to burn, their daughter had heard them have sex. "And Birdie said it at breakfast when she spilt her coffee."

"Well, we say it because we're adults," Bellamy explained watching his daughter.

"I'm a big fucking girl Daddy!" Madi shouted with a wide smile.

"Baby, you can't say that word or you can't go to big girl school, if you say it while you're there they'll kick you out," Clarke explained quietly and the little girl nodded, knowing how badly she wanted to go to big school.

“I’m sorry,” Madi mumbled looking down, her voice giving away that she was upset that she had done the wrong thing.

“It’s okay baby.” Clarke offered Madi a small smile.

“Just promise not to do it again.” Bellamy knelt in front of his daughter.

“I promise,” Madi mumbled, still upset.

“Come here.” Bellamy pulled her into his arms and kissed her head. “Love you.”

“I love you too Daddy,” Madi mumbled.

Clarke’s heart melted as she watched her daughter being enveloped into a tight hug, Bellamy’s arms were holding her close to his chest. Madi started to sob quietly into Bellamy’s chest.

“It’s okay, Madz.” Bellamy rubbed her back before pulling away to wipe away Madi’s tears.

“You mad?” Madi asked quietly, sniffling.

“No, I’m not mad.” Bellamy smiled wiping away her tears again. “Please don’t cry Madz, Mommy and Daddy aren’t mad.”

Clarke came and knelt beside Bellamy before giving Madi a tight hug.

“How about Mommy and Daddy put on a movie? We can lay down and watch it.” Clarke suggested quietly.

“Yeah.” Madi nodded slowly.

“Do you want Daddy to make some popcorn?” Bellamy asked quietly and Madi nodded slowly.

“Can you get me a sports drink and some water?” Clarke asked quietly, feeling uneasy in the stomach again.

“Yeah babe, you two get into bed and I’ll be back soon.” Bellamy kisses Clarke’s forehead before heading downstairs.

********** ********** **********

Clarke felt her nerves build up in her as she walked around Target with Bellamy and Madi. Summer was over and Madi was starting Kindergarten the next day, they had all of her school supplies except her backpack, they had promised to let her pick it out. Clarke wished they hadn’t left it so last minute but time had just slipped away from them. They arrived at the wall of backpacks and Madi started at it in awe.

“Anyone?” The little girl looked at her parents for confirmation.

“Anyone you want, baby.” Clarke smiled and leant against Bellamy as he wrapped his arm around her.

Madi walked up the aisle slowly and examined each bag. Her brow furrowed, lips pursed, eyes narrowed and her nose wrinkled, her classic thinking face.

“I can’t believe she’s starting school tomorrow,” Clarke mumbled watching her daughter.

“She’s growing up fast.” Bellamy chuckled kissing the side of Clarke’s head.

“Anyone one?” Madi called out again.

“Anyone you like Madz,” Bellamy confirmed with a chuckle as they walked slowly to catch up with Madi.

Slowly, Madi made it past the school bags into the bags in the outdoor section. Madi’s eyes lit up as she stopped in front of an olive green canvas bag with thick brown leather straps and each pocket was fastened with by more of the brown leather and buckles. Madi turned her attention to her parents, clasping her hands together in a begging motion.

“This one please.” Madi was barely hiding her excitement.

“This one.” Bellamy took the bag off the shelf and Madi nodded eagerly.

“Can I have it please?” Madi voice raised in pitch as she extended the E sound.

“What do we think Mommy?” Bellamy grinned at Clarke.

“It’s definitely sturdy and practical,” Clarke commented, a smile playing on her lips. “That’s definitely the one you want as your school bag?”

“Yes please, Mommy.” Madi stepped closer to Clarke and Clarke put her hand on Madi’s cheek.

“Of course you can have it.” Clarke smiled and Madi jumped excitedly.

Bellamy got the bag down and gave it to Madi, who put it on immediately, the bag made her look so tiny but she was the happiest little girl.

"We're going to pick up some things Daddy needs for work okay, stay close yeah?" Clarke spoke quietly as Madi walked slightly ahead of her parents as they walked to the school supply section.

Bellamy stopped dead in his tracks, Clarke frowned and followed his gaze to Echo who was making a beeline for them. Madi noticed Luna and walked back to her parents. Clarke stood in front Bellamy to draw his attention to her instead of Echo.

"Bell remember what the lawyer said, she can't take Mini or even get visitation. She's not Mini's parent, she signed away those rights. She was just trying to get a reaction out of you." Clarke squeezed his hand until he relaxed visibly.

Madi frowned putting her hand up to motion Echo to stop, her other hand was firmly placed on her hip. Clarke wanted to laugh she looked so sassy.

"Fuck off!" Madi snapped crossing her arms.

Madi's words made Echo stop in her tracks, Echo's mouth hung open in shock.

"We have nothing to say to you Echo," Clarke spoke quietly putting a protective arm around Madi. "Just leave us alone."

Clarke took Bellamy's hand and led around Echo and towards the section they needed.

"I'm sorry." Madi looked up her parents.

"That's okay baby, just don't do it again." Clarke smiled and kissed the top of Madi's head.

"I don't like her," Madi mumbled looking at the pencil cases.

"Me either, Madz," Bellamy mumbled throwing supplies into his basket.

"What are you getting daddy?" Madi asked curiously.

"Well, Daddy likes to have extra supplies in case my students forget their things," Bellamy explained quietly.

"That's nice," Madi mumbled quietly.

"I’ll be back.” Clarke kissed Bellamy’s cheek before walking down the aisle, turning the corner where she knew she’d find Echo waiting there and she did.

"I just want to know her." Echoed pleaded but it just made Clarke cross her arms.

"After what you did to Madi and Bellamy? There is no way in hell." Clarke narrowed her eyes at Echo. "You're not her mother and never will be, your empty threats and stalking aren't going to make us let you anywhere near her." Clarke stepped closer to Echo. "forget her, she is not any part of you, she's not your daughter or any part of your life. Follow us or turn up at our house ever again and you'll regret it." Clarke turned on her heels and walked back to Bellamy and Madi.

********** ********** **********

Clarke felt nerves in the pit of her stomach as she stood in the hallway of the school with Madi, Bellamy and the two little ones. Bellamy had gotten permission to be late for work so he could be there for Madi's first day. Madi had been excited all morning about going to school and was eager for her parents to go so she could go into the classroom.

"Have a good day baby, Daddy will be here to pick you up after school okay?" Clarke crouched down to Madi's eye level.

"Okay." Madi let out a long breath.

"I love you." Clarke kissed Madi's cheek gently.

"Love you too Mommy!" Madi grinned proudly.

"I love you Madz." Bellamy kissed Madi's cheek and gave her a tight hug.

"Love you too Daddy, can I go in now?" Madi asked anxiously.

"yeah go in." Bellamy chuckled as he straightened up.

"bye-bye." Theo and Minerva smiled in unison as they waved from their stroller.

Madi waved at her siblings before running into the classroom. Bellamy started to push the stroller down the hall with Clarke following behind them.

"Mrs Blake?" A teacher called out as she followed after them. "Mrs Blake?" It took a second for Clarke to register that the teacher was calling out to her.

"Yes, sorry, please call me Clarke." Clarke smiled and turned around, walking closer to the teacher.

"We just need to know who will be picking Madi up this afternoon." The teacher explained quietly.

"Her Father, Bellamy will be picking Madi up." Clarke smiled and the teacher nodded before walking back to the classroom.

Clarke turned back to Bellamy, he had a huge grin on his face as she walked towards him.

"Mrs Blake, I like the sound of that," Bellamy smirked and kissed the top of Clarke's head as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "You didn't correct her." He smirked.

"I like being called Mrs Blake," Clarke smirked kissing him gently.

"My Mrs Blake," Bellamy smirked proudly and kissed her slowly. "I've got to get to work, do you want me to drop you and kids back home?"

"No that's okay, it's a nice day, I'll walk home with them." Clarke smiled as they made it back to his car.

"I love you." Bellamy smiled and kissed her, it was a slow lingering kissing.

"I love you too." Clarke smiled and watched him kiss Theo and Minerva's cheeks.

"Bye, Dada." Theo grinned widely.

"Bye, Dada." Minerva squealed, waving her arms around at him.

"Be good." Bellamy smiled at them and got into the car.

Chapter Text

Bellamy honestly couldn't believe how lucky he was, he had the woman he loved by his side and three beautiful kids, who were growing up too fast. Madi was about to turn 8 which blew his mind, she was so beautiful, kind and intelligent but she was never afraid to speak her mind. Honestly, that just made Bellamy feel even more proud, he knew he'd never have to worry about her getting picked on because she wasn't afraid to stand up for herself. He couldn't get over how much she looked like Octavia at the same age except for her eyes that were the same shade as her mother's. Minerva was a mini Madi all over, appearance and personality. The only difference was Minerva's eyes were straight blue rather than blue-green like her older sister's. Like Madi, Minerva had a soft side, she'd show this mostly around family. Like Madi, she was very independent and hated it when she felt like she was being hovered over. A part of Bellamy was thankful that Minerva didn't look like Echo at all. Theo was the exact spitting image of Roan, long hair and everything. The long hair suited him perfectly. Physically, Theo barely looked like Clarke at all but some of his mannerisms were definitely from Clarke, he had the same sense of humour as Clarke and he contemplates his choices, even the small ones like Clarke did. He was definitely a quiet child and kept a very stoic face, he got that from Roan. He wasn't loud like his sisters but he had a fierce protective streak in him and would stand up for his sisters at the drop of a hat. Unlike with Minerva, Bellamy was actually happy that Theo looked like Roan. Despite the fact that he wasn't Roan biggest fan, mainly for the fact that Roan had what Bellamy wanted, he was happy that Roan had a living legacy in Theo. They hadn't told Theo about Roan being his biological father yet, they wanted to wait until he was old enough to understand. They were waiting to tell Minerva as well. They were going to wait until towards the end of the summer before they started school.

Clarke had changed as well over the last couple of years. Her figure had become more toned, mainly from working out with Raven on a daily basis. She had grown out her hair since having Theo, the ends just brushed her waist now. He loved her hair long, especially when she would be topless and her hair would cover breasts. He found it so sexy when she'd lay on the bed naked with her hair flowing free. He couldn't say that she had aged because honestly she still looked as good as the day he kissed her in his Mom's living room eight years ago. Bellamy, on the other hand, was starting to show signs of ageing, he was starting to get stray grey hairs that Clarke would tease him about. He had grown a beard that honestly made him look older. Clarke had a love-hate relationship with it, she hated it when it tickled her when she kissed him but when he kissed her in other places she never seemed to mind.

The drive to the lake house was more relaxed since they upgraded to an SUV with seven seats, it meant that the kids could have their own space and Ro could be the back as well. Minerva and Theo sat in the seats directly behind Bellamy and Clarke while Madi took the seat in the very back with Ro comfortably next to her. Madi was engrossed in the movie she was watching on the iPad while she patted Ro. Theo was looking out the window, bobbing his head along with the music that was playing. Minerva was happily chatting away to Bellamy as he drove. Clarke had finished up some last minute work emails before shoving her phone back into her bag. Bellamy carefully laces his fingers through hers and brought her hand to his lips to place a gentle kiss on the back of her hand with a smile. This trip away marked when the hormones from Clarke's birth control had passed and they could try for a baby. Bellamy was honestly excited for it and Clarke was too after some reassurance from both Bellamy and Nyko that everything was going to be okay.

"Daddy?" Minerva spoke up trying to gain back her father's attention.

"Yeah Mini?" Bellamy smiled looking at her through the rear view mirror.

"I have a boyfriend!" She announced with a huge grin.

"You don't have a boyfriend." He half grumbled causing Clarke to giggle quietly.

"I do have a boyfriend, Jordan's my boyfriend." The little girl argued back, crossing her arms.

"You're not allowed a boyfriend under my roof." He grumbled trying to stop the smile from forming on his lips.

"I'm moving out then!" The little girl snapped with a huff. "I'll go live with Nanna, Poppy and uncle Roman!"

"No, you're not." He made eye contact with Minerva through the rearview mirror.

"No one loves you, Daddy!" She snapped in anger which made him chuckle quietly.

"Your Mommy loves me." He countered with a smirk.

"You're not even married!" The little girl snapped getting angrier.

"Does that matter?" He posed the question with a raised eyebrow.

"All the other mommy and daddies are married." she huffed again.

"It doesn't matter, Mommy and Daddy love each other," Theo spoke up looking at his sister.

"Exactly Buddy." A smirk formed on Bellamy's lips.

Theo is so smart, Bellamy thought as he pulled into the driveway of the lake house.

Bellamy got out of the car slowly and stretch, letting his back crack as he stretched. He smiled as he watched his little brother run to him, his arms stretched out.

"Bell!" His little brother, Roman giggled.

"Roman!" Bellamy's voice boomed as he scooped up the little boy, kissing his cheek. "Did you want to say hi to Clarke?"

"No." Roman shook his head, the little boy for some reason didn't like Clarke.

"Why not?" Bellamy brushed the hair out of Roman's face.

"Bell, don't push him," Clarke spoke up as she unloaded the bags for the car.

"Run inside with Mini and Theo." Bellamy placed the little boy on his feet again and watched him run back into the house.

Bellamy gave his mother and Tybe a quick hello before they went inside with the kids. He smirked and wrapped his arms around Clarke's waist from behind, kissing her neck.

"Are you ready to make a baby?" He whispered against her neck.

"We don't even know if it's the right time, I haven't checked my app," Clarke spoke quietly putting her hands on top of him.

"I thought instead of dealing with calendars and alarms, we could just have a lot of sex." He breathed against her neck as he ran his hand up her thigh and rubbed between her legs gently.

"Bell, someone could see us!" she hissed with a moan.

"Everyone is already inside." He rubbed a little faster, making her moan louder.

"Bell," she whined as he freed himself, lifting her dress, pushing inside her.

"Keep it quiet." he turned her head with his hand and kissed her as he thrusted into her.

"Bell, we're going to get caught." She moaned, leaning forward into the trunk of the car, plating her hands down firmly for support.

"Do you want me to stop?" He stopped and started to pull out of her but she whined before he had fully left her body. "Tell me what you want," he demanded.

"Fuck me." Clarke moaned, begging.

Bellamy still didn't move and she started to whine again.

"Please fuck me," she begged again quietly, a small whining noise leaving her lips until he started to move again.

His thrusts were fast, hard and made her quiver under him. He hooked his arm around her waist to keep her steady as her legs began to give out under the power of her orgasm. Her orgasm sent him over the edge and he thrusted deep inside her, coming undone inside her. He held onto her panting, he pressed kisses to her bare shoulder.

"Are you guys coming in or what?" Raven called out from the front door.

Luckily enough, they were out of sight from where Raven was standing.

"Yeah, Ro just made a mess in the back!" Clarke called out as Bellamy pulled out of her.

"Bloody dog," Raven grumbled and walked back inside.

"That was too close." Clarke giggled shaking her head.

"You can't say you didn't like it," Bellamy smirked pulling her into a kiss.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Bellamy smiled as he put the plate of meat on the table for dinner, everyone was eager to eat. Immediately the mothers of their group started to dish up plates for their children, including Clarke who was expertly balancing two plates on one arm while she served the food onto them. Bellamy dishes up Madi’s dinner, she was old enough to do it herself but it was always easier for him to do it for her when they having a big group dinner like this. Once the kids had their dinner over at the kids' tables, the adults served up their dinner and settled into their seats.

The group dynamic had started to change more over the last few years, they were growing up. It was becoming less about getting drunk and going crazy and more about spending time together. Mind you they still got drunk but they weren’t getting crazy drunk every night while they were away.

Relationships had changed as well. Murphy and Bellamy had grown closer, spending time together more often. This started to happen when Murphy, surprisingly enough started a teaching job at the high school. He was teaching geography and often sort out Bellamy’s advice on how to deal with his students. Clarke and Harper were closer than ever, mainly because they spent so much time together with the kids. Clarke was friends with Octavia again but Clarke wasn’t letting her too close. She kept Octavia at arm's length but they had a form of their friendship back.

“Alright, it’s been a few weeks since we’ve all caught up. Does anyone have any news to share?” Aurora spoke up as everyone had started eating.

“Monty and I just got approved for a house, we move in next month,” Harper spoke up with a smile.

“Harper’s heading back to work as well, she has gotten a job at the gym as a personal trainer.” Monty smiled proudly, kissing Harper’s cheek.

“That’s great you guys,” Clarke spoke up with a smile.

“Murphy? Raven?” Aurora smiled widely.

“Well...” Raven raised her left hand to show off the new addition on her ring finger.

“Holy shit.” Bellamy breathed out, kind of in shock, he didn’t think Murphy would propose. “Congrats.” He smiled and shook Murphy’s hand.

There was a round of congratulations, hugs and kisses. It took a few minutes before everyone settled back down. Jasper and Maya had no news for everyone. Octavia and Lincoln announce that Lincoln had become a part owner of the gallery he worked at.

“Bellamy? Clarke?” Aurora asked with a raised eyebrow.

Bellamy knew what his mother was implying, she wanted them to get engaged. Aurora had been dropping hints constantly about Bellamy proposing. He had a plan but it was going to take a while longer.

“No news from us, really.” Clarke shrugged slowly. “Everything has just been good.” She gave Bellamy a smile before leaning over to kiss him.

“It’s been perfect,” Bellamy whispered to Clarke, kissing her again.

“Well, Tybe and I are moving,” Aurora announced loudly. “Tybe has a job opportunity in the city, it’s a contractor job, so we’ll be moving for a year.”

“I haven’t told Clarke yet,” Tybe mumbled to Aurora quietly which made Aurora cover her mouth.

“When do you guys move?” Clarke asked quietly.

“Three weeks,” Tybe spoke up. “I was going to tell you after dinner. I’m sorry Clarke.”

“Don’t apologise, that’s okay. I’m happy for you.” Clarke assured quietly with a smile.

Bellamy knew Clarke was blindsided by this but she wouldn’t want Tybe or Aurora to know that she was upset. Bellamy only knew because he could read her like a book.

“Mommy? Can we go watch a movie?” Minerva spoke up as she walked away from the kids' table.

“Yeah baby, ask Madi to set it up when she’s done eating.” Clarke gave her daughter a smile.

“I know this is a shock, the possibility of it came up a couple of months ago and they offered me it a month ago,” Tybe explained.

“Tybe, it’s fine, honestly.” Clarke got up and gave Tybe a tight hug. “I’m going to miss you both,” Clarke mumbled before heading back to her seat.

“You okay?” Bellamy whispered, brushing her hair out of her face.

“Yeah, I just have some things to sort out at the bar.” Clarke nodded slowly.

“We can do it, we’ve got all summer before I go back to work.” He assured giving her a kiss.

“I just wasn’t expecting it. I guess I always just thought that he’d always be there.” She admitted quietly. “He’s always been my safety blanket.”

“We can do it,” he assured again, kissing her gently.

“Together.” She mumbled against his lips.

***** ***** ***** ***** ******

Bellamy pressed a kiss to the top of Clarke’s head as he ran a hand down her bare back. It had been two days since his mother broke the news that they were moving and Tybe would no longer be working at the bar. The news had taken a toll on Clarke and he could tell. She had been quieter than usual, he knew she was still processing and planning what she was going to do now.

“Clarke?” He spoke up, still stroking her back.

“Mm?” She rested her chin on his chest so she could look at him.

“Everything is going to be okay, we can do this.” He brushed the hair out of her face.

“I just always thought he’d always work at the bar.” She sighed quietly, closing her eyes. “It’s time I promote Anya anyway and Chris has the kitchen covered.”

“See babe, you’ve already got it covered.” He smiled kissing her gently. “I’ll go in and do a few shifts throughout the summer.”

“Thank you,” Clarke leant up and kissed him slowly.

“I think you’ll get pregnant this week.” A smirk started to form on Bellamy’s lips as his hand ran down her back, over her ass. “I have had you a fair few times this week already.” He bit her bottom lip gently.

“Twice this morning already, four times yesterday, three times the day before and five times the day we got here.” She smirked and kissed him slowly.

He would love to take her again but honestly, he was spent, it wasn’t even 9 am and he had already had her twice.

“I love you.” Bellamy smiled and brushed her hair out of her ear.

“I love you too.” She gave him a loving smile, the smile she reserved just for him.

The smile she used when she was really happy with him. Her eyes would brighten and her nose wrinkled very slightly that he thought was just adorable.

“What’s on your mind?” He smiled stroking her cheek.

“I was thinking about how far we’ve come in the last few years.” A smile started to tweak at the corners of her mouth. “How lucky I am to have you and how lucky our kids are to have you as their dad.”

“I’m the lucky one.” He pulled her closer and kissed her, lacing his fingers into her hair.

“Morning Mom and Dad!” Jasper burst through the door and threw himself down on the bed.

“Jasper!” Clarke squealed covering herself up more with the sheet.

“Morning!” Raven strolled into the room with a grin.

“Morning!” Theo and Minerva squealed in unison as they ran into the room jumping onto the bed.

“Guys, a little privacy!” Bellamy groaned sitting up.

“Are you guys naked?” Raven wiggled her eyebrows.

“Mini, Theo, go get dressed before breakfast.” Bellamy watched them run back to their room. “Can we have a little privacy? We’ll come downstairs when we get dressed.”

“You guys are no fun!” Jasper groaned getting up.

“Did we interrupted you guys getting dirty?” Raven wiggled her eyebrows again. “Well, I’m going to make it my personal mission to stop you two getting down and dirty for the rest of the week.”

“I’ll help!” Jasper volunteered a little too eagerly.

“I call this morning a success.” Raven high-fived Jasper.

“You failed,” Clarke mumbled, sitting up holding two fingers up.

“It’s not even 9 am!” Raven shook her head.

“I’m not complaining.” Clarke shrugged before smirking at Bellamy. “Get out pervs, let us get dressed.”

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Bellamy relax on the dock with Murphy as they watched the kids swim. Legs dangling in the water, sun shining and a beer in hand, it was a perfect afternoon.

“I can’t believe you’re getting married.” Bellamy chuckled and looked at his friend.

“Can’t let her go, she’s too good.” Murphy shrugs. “She puts up with my shit and makes me a better person.”

“Good, that’s good.” Bellamy nodded slowly.

“When are you going to man up and ask Clarke to marry your sorry ass?” Murphy eyed Bellamy.

“Soon, I have a plan.” Bellamy took a long sip of his beer. “I’m not telling any of you when none of you can keep a secret.”

“If you like it then you should put a ring on it.” Murphy deadpanned and Bellamy almost spits out his beer.

“Did you just quote Beyoncé?” Bellamy chuckled loudly.

“What? They’re wise words.” Murphy shrugged.

Chapter Text

Clarke's body felt tired, it was probably from the amount of 'exercise' she had been doing with Bellamy. Trying for a baby wasn't exactly what she expected, she honestly thought they should keep a log of when exactly when they had sex, her ovulation and the best times to try but Bellamy just wanted to have a lot of sex. Clarke wasn't going to argue with that, the idea of the kept a log and schedule kind of stressed her out.

Clarke stretched as she sat at the table on the back porch with Raven, Octavia and Harper. The conversation was focused on Raven and Murphy's engagement and honestly, Clarke felt a little left out. Octavia was married, Harper and Monty were planning on getting married soon and Raven was engaged. Clarke on the hand was neither planning on getting married or engaged. Bellamy hadn't said a peep about getting married lately when they got together he would talk about getting married and having another baby all of the time. Now he just talked about having another baby. Maybe he didn't want to get married at all now and she would need to come to terms with that. She was usually fine with it but with all the wedding talk it made her feel left out.

"Clarke?" Raven frowned. "Earth to Clarke." Raven waved her hand in front of Clarke's face.

"What? Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts." Clarke gave her friends a small smile.

"When are you and Bell going to tie the knot?" Raven smirked watching Clarke carefully.

"I don't know, we've never really spoken about it." Clarke lied easily with a small shrug.

Clarke knew she needed to push those thoughts out of her mind, she couldn't let those thoughts worry her. They were happy, they weren't fighting and things were good. Getting married or not getting married wouldn't change their relationship, they would still be together and happy either way.

"We need to organize going to get your wedding dress. I can organize an appointment at the bridal store we went for O's dress." Clarke smiled slowly. "I'm buying it, it'll be your wedding present from me, Bell and the kids."

"I fucking love you." Raven jumped up and hugged Clarke tightly.

"I love you too." Clarke laughed quietly as she hugged Raven.

"We should grab my laptop and look at wedding dresses online," Harper suggested as she jumped up.

"Yeah go get it." Raven nodded excitedly. "O, help me get the wine and snacks." Raven headed inside with Octavia, leaving Clarke by herself.

Bellamy walked up the stairs to the porch with a grin before he walked over and kissed her slowly.

"You okay?" Bellamy frowned slowly.

God, he could read her like a book, Clarke though with a sigh as he sat down pulling her off her seat and onto his lap.

"The wedding talk huh?" He turned her so she could face him. "I haven't said this in a while and I should be saying it more." His hand moved up to cup her cheek. "I want to marry you and I will marry you. Our time will come."

 Clarke felt a weight come off her chest, she was worrying for nothing. She knew he was just waiting for the right time now. 

"Sorry, it's just everyone is asking about it and it's just getting in my head." She sighed quietly.

"It's okay, we should know that our family will meddle in everything." He let out a hearty chuckle. "Everyone has been asking the last couple of days. I have a plan."

"I love you," Clarke mumbled and kissed him slowly.

"I love you too," he mumbled against her lips as he held her closer, his hands travelling down her body.

"Bell, I'm tired." she pulled away from his kiss.

"I should give you a break huh?" He chuckled and gave her a quick kiss. "I should get back to the water, our kids might drown or something."

"Don't joke about that." she slapped his chest and got up.

"They're fine, Monty, Jasper, Lincoln and Murphy are down there with them." He chuckled and stood up. "I'm sorry I joked about our kids drowning. It was a bad joke."

"Don't do it again." She frowned up at him as she sat down in her seat again.

"I won't." he gave her a peck before walking back down to the lake.

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Clarke had to admit she liked looking at the wedding dresses online with the girls, It made her look forward to the future. Clarke knew it she'd want to have the baby before they got married, she didn't want to be pregnant at her wedding. Bellamy's words just made her look forward to it more. Her mind was planning ahead, maybe it wasn't the best but she was having fun doing it.

"Do we have a budget, Clarke?" Raven Looked at Clarke with a raised eyebrow.

"$6,500 max, it's the same budget I had for O's dress and it'll be the same for Harper when she gets married." Clarke leaned back and ran her hand through her hair.

"We can call them to find out if they have the dress you want," Harper suggested.

"Where do you want to have the wedding?" Octavia asked quietly as they scrolled through the Pinterest board.

"I've got to talk to Murphy but I think it'll be good to have it here, we both love this place." Raven beamed, she was glowing with happiness.

"Do it, you could book it out for the weekend," Harper spoke excitedly.

Raven looked at Clarke, almost for approval. Clarke just gave her friend a small smile and nod before getting up slowly.

"I'll be back, I'm going to check on the kids," Clarke spoke quietly before walking down to the lake.

She found the kids swimming with Bellamy, she stripped off her dress and walked into the water, swimming out to them. Theo immediately swam over to Clarke and wrapped his arms around her neck.

"Are you guys having fun?" Clarke smiled and kissed Theo's cheek.

 Theo nodded with a wide grin as Bellamy came over holding Minerva. Bellamy grinned widely and kissed Clarke's cheek as Madi climbed up the ladder out of the water onto the dock.

"Mini, Theo, did you know that this the first place you ever went swimming?" Clarke smiled as she looked between the two. "Daddy took you two swimming here the first time we came here when you were a baby."

"Did Madi swim too?" Mini asked quietly.

"She was almost your age." Bellamy smiled slowly.

"Baby, you okay?" Clarke made her way over to the dock slowly.

"Yeah, I just want to sit up here." Madi smiled slowly and hugged her knees.

"Should we go get changed and go out for lunch?" Clarke smiled up at Madi.

"Can it just be you and me?" Madi asked quietly.

"Yeah baby, Mini and Theo can have lunch with Daddy here." Clarke smiled slowly. "Bell, Madi and I are going to have a little lunch date together."

"Well, why don't I go out with Mini and Theo, we can drop you off," Bellamy suggested with a shrug.

"Sounds good." Clarke gave Bellamy a quick kiss. "Let's go get changed."

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Clarke smiled as she sat down in the cafe with Madi, she loved having little lunch dates with Madi. Clarke loved having one on one time with her kids and thought that it was one of the important things to do with her kids, to make sure they all felt like they got to have proper time with her.

"What do you want for lunch?" Clarke smiled as she looked up from the menu.

"Can I get the risotto?" Madi asked quietly biting her lip.

"Of course, want a milkshake?" Clarke smiled and put the menu down.

"Are you getting one?" Madi asked quietly.

"Strawberry all the way." Clarke smiled widely but filled with worry when Madi frowned.

"You always get chocolate when you're with Dad." Madi frowned deeply. 

"That's because you Dad's favourite is chocolate and I always share it with your dad." Clarke smiled slowly. "Plus your dad hates strawberry and I like sharing with him."

"Who's Theo's real Dad?" Madi frowned watching her mother after they ordered.

"You might not remember because you were still really young." Clarke sighed running her hand through her hair. "Theo's biological father is a man named Roan, that's why Theo has a different last name to you and Mini."

"Who is he?" Madi frowned deeper, they never really spoke about Roan to Madi.

"He was someone very special to me and to you too. You used to call him Ro." Clarke smiled at the memory. "He used to take you out for a whole day twice a month. You used to say you were going on a date with Ro."

The waitress gave them their drinks before walking away.

"Did he leave?" Madi frowned and took a sip of her chocolate milkshake.

"He died almost five years ago." Clarke looked down at her milkshake. "I was pregnant with your little brother when he passed away."

"Why don't I remember him?" Madi's brow furrowed even more.

"You only just turned three when he died." Clarke got her phone out and showed Madi a picture of her and Roan at her birthday party just before he died.

"I'm sorry mom." Madi brow furrowed, it was obvious that she was upset because she thought she upset her mother.

"It's okay, I'm always happy to answer any questions you have about anything," Clarke assured quietly.

“Then you fell in love with Dad?” Madi watched her mother carefully.

“Yeah I did but I loved your Dad before I had you too.” Clarke smiled slowly. “I’ve known your dad all my life because I was friends with your Aunty O since I was a little girl.”

“Mini has a real Mom too.” Madi sat back.

“Yeah, The woman who had Mini didn’t want to be a mom, so I became Mini’s mom like dad became Theo’s dad,” Clarke explained.

“I like that.” Madi smiled suddenly which made Clarke smile immediately.

“You do?” Clarke raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, Theo didn’t have a Dad anymore so My dad became his dad and Mini’s Mother didn’t want to be a mom so you became her Mom.” Madi smiled. “It’s good because we’re all a family now.”

“Exactly and nothing will ever change that.” Clarke smiled as the waitress dropped off their food. “Your Uncle Murphy convinced you that risotto was called Hot wet rice when you were little and it’s all you would ask for when we asked you what you wanted for dinner.”

“Hot wet rice.” Madi pondered the idea for a few moments. “Makes sense.” She shrugged slowly making Clarke let out a small laugh.

“How are you growing up so fast?” Clarke watched her daughter shrug.

Clarke couldn’t believe she was turning eight at the end of the summer, the time had passed so quickly. Madi had grown up so fast, she was growing more beautiful and intelligent every day. So many aspects of her life had changed so much since she was born. Clarke couldn’t help but wonder sometimes what her life would be like if she never got pregnant with Madi, not that she regretted having her for a second but she was just curious. Her mother wouldn’t have disowned her, which Clarke didn’t think was necessarily a good thing. She would’ve left for college with Octavia and things probably wouldn’t have been the same with Bellamy after they slept together. Given the opportunity to change what happened, she wouldn’t for a second. She had a gorgeous little girl smiling at her across the table. This little girl turned her life upside but had filled it with so much love and happiness. She wouldn’t change a thing.

“Hey, Mom?” Madi’s voice broke Clarke out of her thoughts.

“Yeah, baby?” Clarke smiled slowly.

“I love you.” Madi smiles brightly.

“I love you too baby.” Clarke smiled even wider, her heart swelling with happiness.

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Clarke felt her eyes drift closed as she rested her head on Bellamy’s chest, his arm wrapped around her. Her mind was racing but she found sleep easily.

~

When her eyes opened again, she was in a crowded room. A party. Octavia was busy in the corner making out with Lincoln, Raven was off with Murphy doing shots. She looked around and saw vaguely familiar faces but no one she really wanted to talk to. She ran a hand through her hair before weaving her way into the kitchen of the crowded house. She sifted through the bottles of liquor trying to find one that wasn’t open. Failing to do so she grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge and cracked it open with a sigh.

“I didn’t know you liked beer.” A voice spoke up from behind her. Bellamy.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” Clarke rolled her eyes as she turned to look at him.

“What are you doing here Clarke?” The annoyance was clear in his voice.

“I’m at a party with my friends, it’s not like you control the guest list.” She shook her head and walked away from him, taking a long sip of her beer.

She made her way out to the front porch of the house, suddenly needing air and space from the crowd of people. She took a deep breath and let the cool air fill her lungs.

“You shouldn’t be here. Echo’s here.” Bellamy sighed as he walked outside.

“So I’ve got to stay from everything on this campus because you were afraid to break up with her.” She stepped back from him, leaning against the railing of the porch. “Because you are afraid to tell her what happened between us. What was still happening until a month ago.” She crossed her arms.

Sleeping with her best friend’s older brother when she was sixteen wasn’t the best idea. Continuing to sleep with him for three years definitely wasn’t the best idea. Continuing to sleep with him while he had a psychopathic girlfriend was the worst idea. So she ended it a month ago, she couldn’t be that person anymore. The person who was lying to her friends and being the other woman. She couldn’t do it and now everywhere she turned, he was there.

“You know what Echo is like.” He rakes his hand through his hair with a sigh.

“It doesn’t matter.” Clarke shook her slowly. “This was my farewell party, I’m transferring to New York State.”

Maybe being on the other side of the country will be far enough away so she could get him out of her head. So she could not be in love with him anymore. She needed the space.

“You’re what?” He stumbled back like she had hit him.

“Leaving Bellamy, to get away from you and all of this bullshit.” Clarke walked away, back inside.

She said a quick goodbye to her friends before walking out of the party. She walked down on the street with her hands shoved into the pockets of her jacket. She had a ten-minute walk ahead of her back to her dorm room. She collapsed into her bed as soon as she made it back to the room she shared with Raven and Octavia. Both girls were devastated about Clarke transferring and were still trying to convince her to stay. She wanted to stay but she needed to get away from Bellamy and Echo. Clarke woke up a few hours later to Raven and Octavia climbing into her bed sandwiching her.

“Don’t go,” Octavia mumbled sadly as she hugged Clarke.

“O, you’ll still see me.” Clarke sighed quietly.

“Why are you even leaving?” Raven grumbled.

“I just need to, there’s a lot that has happened. Is still happening.” Clarke mumbled as she closed her eyes.

She didn’t want to leave her friends and comfort of having them there but she knew if she didn’t leave she’d never get over Bellamy. She’d always love him.

“What the hell has happened?” Raven frowned sitting up, making Clarke sit up as well.

“Clarke!” A voice boomed followed by banging on the door. “Open the fucking door.” 

“Is that Bellamy?” Octavia hissed sitting up.

Clarke sighed getting up off her bed walking over to the door, she opened the door, glaring at Bellamy.

“What Bell?” Clarke huffed out.

Before Clarke could say anything else, Bellamy’s lips came down onto hers. His hands lacing into hair as he pushed her against the wall. There was a stunned silence in the room as Raven and Octavia started at the scene in front of them. Bellamy pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against hers, his breathing was heavy as his thumb stroked her cheek.

“Don’t go.” His voice came out as a whisper. “I can’t lose you.”

There was a long moment of silence, all Clarke could hear was Bellamy’s heavy breathing.

“You already did,” Clarke whispered, moving away from him and his touch.

“Clarke. Please.” He begged. “I need you.”

“You need me here to fuck you. You don’t give a shit about me, you never have.” She shook her head at him. “You were just using me, I was just stupid enough to fall for you.”

“I love you.” He said unconvincingly as he reached out for her.

“No you don’t, you don’t love anyone but O and your Mom.” She shook her head and moved away from his touch. “You’re only saying that to make me stay. I’m not staying, now please get the fuck out of my room.”

“Clarke, please.” He grabbed her arm gently.

“Leave me the fuck alone Bellamy.” Clarke glared at him and moved out of his grip.

“Clarke, I don’t give a shit about Echo, it’s you that I want.” He tried again.

“You should’ve realised that three years ago instead of using me.” She spoke quietly and grabbed her bag. “If you’re not going to leave my fucking room, I will.”

Clarke stormed out of her room and down her car in the parking lot. She got into her car and sped over before Bellamy could catch up to her. She didn’t know where she was driving but she just wanted to get away from him. Her phone started to go off like crazy, she unlocked it and started to read the messages, her eyes glancing between the phone and road. A sudden bump in the road made her drop her phone onto the floor beneath her feet.

“Fuck.” She grumbled and reaches down to grab her phone.

When she finally grabbed it and sat up, it was too late, a truck was coming right at her. All she could hear was the truck’s horn blaring.

~

Clarke’s flew opened and her breathing was laboured as she tried to remember where she was. She glanced around and realised she was in their bedroom at the lake house, Bellamy was holding Clarke from behind.

“You okay?” Bellamy asked quietly, brushing her hair out of her face.

“I just had the weirdest dream.” She mumbled relaxing in his arms.

“What happened?” He loosened his arms, letting her turn around and face him.

“It was us but we didn’t have Madi and We were younger.” She frowned slightly at the memory of the dream.

“Were we together?” He asked curiously.

“Not really, we started sleeping together when I was sixteen but it wasn’t like when we were together before we had Madi. I knew you were with Echo and we were just sleeping together for three years. You never broke up with her. We went to the same college and I would have to avoid Echo at all costs. It was just weird.” She sighed quietly.

“Did I at least dump her ass in the end?” He looked at her with an amused smile.

“No, I was transferring to a college on the other side of the country. You found out and was trying to get me to stay but you failed at convincing me.” She shivered at the memory. “It wasn’t us, like at all. I was such a pushover and you were a full blown douche bag.”

“Worse than I was when I denying that I was in love with you?” He raised an eyebrow slowly, the amused smile still plastered on his face.

“A hundred times worse.” She shook her head slowly.

“What happened to make you wake up like you did?” The smile disappeared and a frown began to form on his face.

“We got into a fight, I left my dorm room and started to drive around. I was stupid enough to be checking my phone while I was driving. It dropped on the floor and I reached down to get it. When I sat up, a huge truck was coming at me head on.” She shivered again at the thought and he pulled her closer.

“You’re okay.” He assured giving her a small, gentle kiss.

“What time is it?” She yawned quietly.

“Just after 3 am.” He pulled the blanket up over them. 

“What were you doing awake?” She frowned slightly, watching him.

“Madi had one of her night terrors again, I just got her back to sleep.” He sighed quietly.

“How bad was it?” She began to feel the worry rise up in her.

“Not bad, Mini came and grabbed me because It woke her up.” He reaches up resting his free arm behind his head. “Madi didn’t even realise she was having it, she woke up pretty unphased by it.”

“At least she doesn’t remember it.” She relaxed slightly. "I don't think I'll go back to sleep." a heavy sigh left her lips.

"Anything I can do to help?" He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I think I'll just go for a walk." She sat up slowly with another sigh.

"I'll come with you." He sat up slowly and got up.

“Thank you.” She whispered as she got up and grabbed one of his sweatshirts.

“I’m always happy to, besides I can barely sleep without you.” He gave her a bright smile and a gentle kiss.

“I love you.” She mumbled against his lips, pulling him closer by the shirt he was wearing.

“I love you too.” He smirked against her lips, his hand drifting to her ass, gripping it tightly.

A moan escaped her lips as she deepened the kiss until he pulled away slightly.

“You know, there are other ways to make you sleepy.” He smirked.

Clarke responded by kissing him, pulling her body closer to his. He picked her up easily, letting her legs hook around his waist. He was ready for her, a tent already formed in his boxers. He freed himself easily and pushed aside her pyjama shorts, letting himself rub against her. A loud moan escaped her lips but he muffled it with a tender kiss as he laid her down on the bed. She was happy he was on the same wavelength as her. She didn’t want this to be a quick uncaring fuck. She wanted slow and loving, especially after her weird dream. He slowly pulled her shorts off her and let his drop to the floor before he climbed on top of her, trailing kisses up her body until he reached her mouth again.

“This Bellamy loves you.” He whispered as he brushed her hair out of her face. “And plans on keeping you forever.” He pushed into her slowly, watching her as she threw her hair back moaning. “And intends on making you Mrs Blake.” He kissed her neck and started to move slowly inside her.

Clarke moaned loudly, his slow movements making it so much better. Her body was already tingling anticipating her orgasm. He pressed his lips to hers to muffle her moans. A moan escaped his lips when she made herself tighten around him.

“Clarke.” He moaned against her lips as he thrust harder into her.

His thrusts started to make her build up and within a few more hard thrusts tips her over the edge. Her body started to shake and her nails started to dig into his back. He thrusted into her a few more times before his orgasm overtook him, he held her as tight as he could and thrusted as far into her as he could. His body shook as he held onto her coming down from his high.

He loosened his grip on her and pulled out of her, laying beside her, still holding her with a happy smile spread across his face.

“Mrs Blake huh?” Clarke smiled slowly.

“That’s the plan.” Bellamy’s smile didn’t falter as he kissed her slowly. “If you’re not pregnant after this week, I don’t know how much sex we’re going to need to have next month.” He let out a low chuckle.

“I wouldn’t mind another few months of this.” She grinned slowly.

“I wouldn’t mind it.” He leant over and kissed her. “Sleepy?”

“Mmhm.” She hummed before yawning.

Clarke snuggled into Bellamy’s side and let her eyes drift closed again. They had a big day ahead of them in the morning, the 4th of July was always huge for them.

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Clarke relaxed against Bellamy's chest as they sat around the fire put. The fourth of July was way more relaxed than it had been in years. They had a huge lunch, leftovers for dinner and now they were all just relaxing around the fire pit, roasting marshmallows. Theo and Minerva patiently waited for Madi to toast the marshmallows.

"Mom? do you want one?" Madi asked as she put the toast marshmallows on the plates for her little brother and sister.

"I'd love one baby." Clarke smiled.

"Dad?" Madi raised her eyebrow slowly.

"Yeah." Bellamy smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of Clarke's head.

"I can't believe our trip is almost over already." Raven groaned as she took a sip of her drink. 

"It went by really quick this time." Clarke ran her hand through her hair.

"I think it's because we spent so much time just having fun," Aurora spoke up as she adjusted Roman on her lap.

“On the upside, we have wedding planning to do when we get home.” Harper grinned widely.

“This is going to be a lot of work, isn’t it?” Murphy half groaned, rolling his eyes.

“Yup and you’re going to love every second of it,” Raven smirked and kissed him slowly.

“Let’s play a game,” Harper suggested as she sat up straight. “Peak and pit. We all go around and tell everyone what was our peak and pit of this trip. Kids too.”

“I’ll start,” Aurora spoke up with a grin. “Peak was spending time with all of you. The pit was knowing this was the last time we’ll be able to have family time before we move. 

“Peak was going swimming with all of my grandkids,” Tybe spoke up. “Pit was definitely Clarke finding out we were leaving because I know it’s thrown her in a loop.”

“Roman, what was your Peak and pit?” Aurora asked quietly.

“Bell.” Roman grinned widely. “Pit Clarke.” The little boy frowned deeply.

For some unknown reason, Roman really didn’t like Clarke. It was ever since he was a baby, he hated Clarke holding him and sometimes even her looking at him made him cry.

“Peak, announcing our engagement,” Murphy spoke up. “Pit, the killer hangover I’ll have in the morning.”

“Peak, engagement. Pit, getting a flat on the way down.” Raven smiled as she looked around at everyone.

“Peak, family time. Pit, burning the cake today.” Octavia laughed quietly.

“Peak, having a break from the real world. Pit, having to go home.” Lincoln spoke up and kissed the top of Octavia’s head.

“Peak, having time away and watching Jordan run around with the kids. The pit would have to be not being able to stay here as long as we usually do.” Harper relaxed against Monty’s side.

“Peak getting to spend time with my family. Pit going home.” Monty spoke quickly.

“Peak, seeing everyone. Pit Maya having to leave early.” Jasper sighed.

Maya has to go back to work yesterday and Jasper was obviously upset not having his girlfriend with him.

“Peak going for lunch with Mom. Pit Nanna, Poppy and Roman moving away.” Madi grinned widely as she looked at Clarke.

Clarke felt her heart swell as she looked at her eldest daughter, she couldn’t stop the smile from forming on her face.

“Peak swimming,” Theo spoke shyly as he looked down. “Pit going home.”

“Peak Mini!” Jordan laughed loudly and hugged Minerva. “Pit going home.”

“Jordan is my boyfriend.” Minerva giggled hugging Jordan back. “Pit going home.”

Bellamy groaned slightly, throwing his head back and pinching the bridge of his nose. Clarke laughed watching Minerva glare at Bellamy.

“Peak was definitely having so much stress free family time.” Clarke smiled widely. “Pit finding out I’d need to say goodbye to Aurora and Tybe.”

Tybe gave her a sad look but she gave him a small smile to let him know she wasn’t mad at all.

“My Peak was having time to relax with Clarke,” Bellamy smiled down at Clarke. “My Pit was definitely being tired too much during this holiday.” He smirked.

Murphy and Jasper started a chorus of Os and wolf whistling.

“You’re gross Bell.” Octavia groaned loudly.

“Too much information.” Aurora shook her head with a small chuckle.

A chorus of laughter filled the group as Madi handed out toasted marshmallows. Clarke honestly could imagine a better 4th of July, surrounded by family and laughter. This was a perfect night.

Chapter Text

Bellamy knew that two weeks after they came from the lake house, they'd know if Clarke was pregnant or not but Clarke hadn't brought it up. Bellamy assumes that she had done the test by herself and it was negative. A part of him was upset that she kept this from him but the other part of him understood why she would keep it to herself. She was afraid to lose another baby, afraid to let him down. In this, Clarke could never let him down, her previous miscarriage wasn't her fault but he didn't know what to do to stop her from blaming herself. he felt useless in this situation, he couldn't help her feel better, he couldn't take the feeling of fault away from her.

Bellamy didn’t know how Clarke did it, working a full shift at the bar left him exhausted. His body ached as he walked into the house after his night shift. It was the first week since Tybe had left and honestly, it had been a hard week. He didn’t realise how physical the job actually was, he was constantly lifting and moving things as well as running all over the place to make sure everyone had what they needed. He wasn’t going to complain, Clarke did it without complaining and he was going to do the same.

He threw his keys onto the bench and walked upstairs. He was ready to collapse into their bed and cuddle up to Clarke. He expected her to be in bed fast asleep but instead, he found her sitting up, holding a small box with a wide grin.

“What are you doing awake?” A smile spread across his face as he watched her carefully.

“I wanted to give you something,” Clarke spoke quietly and her grin grew wider as she spoke. “Here, open it.” She handed him the box as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

Bellamy opened the box carefully and his heart skipped a beat at the contents of the box. Inside, surrounded by tissue paper was a positive pregnancy test.

“Really?” His voice broke as he turned to look at her, tears started to well up in his eyes.

“Yeah.” She nodded slowly. “Nyko did the blood test today to confirm.”

“Seriously?” The happy tears were beginning to spill from his eyes. 

“Seriously.” She confirmed.

Bellamy pulled her onto his lap and kissed her slowly. He held her tightly as he ran his hand down her back. His head buried into the crook of her neck and he could feel her chest vibrate as she laughed quietly. He pulled back slowly and smile widely, she wiped away his tears of happiness as she straddled his lap.

“You’re pregnant.” He smiled as she brushed his hair out of her face. 

“I am.” She smiled widely. 

“Incredible.” He smirked and pressed his hand against her stomach.

“Nyko says I should be about 8 weeks, he’s going to do a scan tomorrow. He said that’ll help reassure me if I can actually see the baby.” Clarke explained quietly, the nervousness coming out in her voice again.

“Okay, it’ll be good to see the baby.” He assured quietly.

Bellamy knew that she had kept it a secret for a few weeks. Most likely out of being scared she’d miscarry again.

“I love you.” He whispered, brushing her hair out of her face.

“I love you too.” She smiled and kissed him slowly.

***** ***** ***** *****

Bellamy couldn’t keep the smile off his face when he woke up the next morning. He found Clarke asleep next to him with her hand resting on her stomach. He bent down and kissed her stomach gently. A groan left her lips at his touch.

“Good morning,” Bellamy smirked and kissed her gently.

“Morning, are the kids up yet?” Clarke’s voice came out croaky as he watched her.

“Yeah, Madz came and asked me if they could watch cartoons about 20 minutes ago.” Bellamy stretched as he sat up.

“I should get up huh?” She frowned slightly as she watched him.

“If you want to stay in bed for a while, I can take the kids out for breakfast before I drop them off at Raven and Murphy’s.” He suggested quietly.

“Can you?” She raised her eyebrow at him.

“I’ll be back later.” He leant down and kissed her slowly. “I love you.” He grinned widely. “The both of you.”

“We love you too.” She smiled shyly and gave him a small peck.

“I’ll be back later and then we’ll get to see the little peanut.” Bellamy grinned getting up off the bed.

“Yeah.” She nodded, letting her eyes drift closed again.

***** ***** ***** *****

Taking three kids out to breakfast wasn’t the easiest task but Bellamy thought that he had it pretty down pat by now. Soon he’d be taking his four kids out for breakfast, letting Clarke sleep in. He was over the moon excited and yet terrified at the same time, he just wanted to know everything was all good with both Clarke and the baby. He only had to wait a few more hours, so he pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind and concentrated on the kids. Madi was content with her bacon and eggs, Theo was expertly cutting up his sausages while Minerva was struggling cutting up her bacon pancakes.

“Want some help?” Bellamy spoke up.

“I’ll help Mini,” Theo spoke up and automatically started to cut up Minerva’s food.

Theo had a lot more patience then Minerva and Bellamy supposed that was from Roan. It meant that he mastered skills faster than Minerva because he didn’t get frustrated, he just kept at it until he figured it out.

“Thank you,” Minerva mumbled and hugged Theo tightly.

“That’s okay,” Theo mumbled and went back to eating.

“You guys excited to spend the day with Birdie, Murphy, O and Lincoln?” Bellamy smiled around the table at them.

“Birdie is taking me to get a haircut,” Madi announces loudly.

“Did Mom say you could?” Bellamy raised his eyebrow slowly knowing he could read his daughter just as easily as he read her mother.

“Yes.” Madi lied easily, causing Bellamy to raise his eyebrow even further. “No, but Mom won’t mind I promise.” She spoke with a sigh.

“It should be okay, as long as it’s just a haircut, no crazy hair colours or anything like that.” Bellamy sighed.

“We should cut off Theo’s hair.” Minerva laughed and tugged on Theo’s ponytail.

“No, I like my hair.” Theo frowned and moved out of his sister’s reach.

“You look like a girl.” Minerva teased.

“Leave your brother alone,” Bellamy spoke in a low warning tone that let the kids know that it was time to stop.

“Do you like Theo’s hair?” A deep frown formed on Minerva’s face as she looked at her father.

“I do, I think it suits him.” Bellamy smiled at his youngest children. “Besides If he likes it, he should be able to keep it.”

“Daddy, why didn’t Mommy come with us?” Theo asked quietly.

“Mommy didn’t sleep too well last night, so she’s sleeping in. Besides, Daddy wanted to have breakfast with three of his favourite people.” Bellamy grinned as he looked at the three of them.

A silence hung over them as they continued to eat quietly. The silence didn’t last long when Raven, Murphy, Lincoln and Octavia joined them. The kids all greeted them happily, giving them hugs and kisses.

“So what’s the plan for today?” Bellamy asked once they had pulled over an extra table and ordered some coffee.

“Well Madz wants a haircut, so I’m going to have a little girls day with O, Madz and Mini.”Raven grinned as she looked at the two girls. “We’re going to get our hair and nails done then go have high tea.”

“While the girls do boring girl stuff, Lincoln and I are taking Theo to manly stuff like teaching him to play football.” Murphy smiles patting Theo’s back. “We’re going to buy him a football and a soccer ball. Then we’ll go to the steakhouse for lunch. He’s surrounded by girls, he needs some man time.”

“Man time?” Bellamy chuckled.

“Being a dad to girls has made you soft,” Murphy commented with a raised eyebrow.

“Soft?” Bellamy scoffed with a grin. “Have you seen my girls? They can beat you up.”

On cue, Madi locked eyes with Murphy and raised her fists into a fighting stance. Minerva did the same almost immediately.

“I raise them tough, no one is going to mess with them.” Bellamy beamed proudly.

“My money is on Mini and Madz,” Raven commented taking a long sip of her coffee. “You pick on Madi too much, you have it coming.”

“It’s not my fault the little baby needs her Mommy and Daddy too much.” Murphy shrugged.

“Shut up Doo doo, you need Birdie too much.” Madi snapped back easily.

“Oooo you just got burned by a seven-year-old.” Raven laughed, patting Murphy’s shoulder. “Alright, girls say goodbye to daddy.” Raven got up slowly and the girls followed suit.

“Bye Daddy.” Minerva grinned and hugged Bellamy.

“Bye Sweetie.” Bellamy smiled kissing the top of her head.

“Bye Dad.” Madi gave Bellamy a quick hug before following Raven.

“Bye Madz,” He called out after them as they left.

“Say bye, it’s time to do a manly stuff.” Murphy gave the little boy a wide Cheshire cat grin.

Theo silently rose up from his seat and walked over to Bellamy, giving him a hug.

"You okay buddy?" Bellamy frowned slightly.

"Is Mommy okay?" Theo asked with a frown.

"Yeah, Buddy, Mommy was just really tired this morning," Bellamy reassured quietly. "She's perfectly fine, Buddy." he smiled slowly. "I want you to have fun today and I'll see you tomorrow morning okay?"

"Okay," Theo mumbled shyly and hugged Bellamy again tightly.

"Love you, buddy." Bellamy kissed the top Theo's head.

"Love you," Theo mumbled pulling away.

The little boy took Lincoln's hand and walked out of the diner, leaving Bellamy deep in his own thoughts. He worried about Theo sometimes, he was at times too good and kind for his own good. He worried a lot for a little boy. Bellamy often found himself wondering if he forgot Theo sometimes cause of how quiet he was. Bellamy would make sure he set aside time to just have with Theo alone, sometimes they'd just go for a walk or read a book but it was nice to have the time with him alone.

Chapter Text

Nerves were building up in Clarke as she sat in the waiting room with Bellamy. She squeezed Bellamy’s hand tightly and let out a long breath. He just smiled and kissed her hand, she felt herself relax slightly. She silently prayed that everything was okay with the baby. Nyko had already warned that they won’t see much until a later ultrasound Today was just to check to make sure everything was okay so far.

“Clarke Griffin?” The nurse smiled as she appeared in the waiting room. “Nyko is ready to see you now.”

Clarke stood up slowly biting her lip as Bellamy put his hand on her lower back. Her chest tightened as she walked into the room to find Nyko smiling at her.

“Alright, let’s settle your nerves, lay down on the table.” Nyko smiled, immediately sensed Clarke’s nerves.

Clarke laid down on the table and lifted her shirt, closing her eyes tightly as Nyko squeezed the cold gel onto her stomach.

“It’s okay,” Bellamy whispered and kissed her head.

Clarke held her breath as Nyko started the ultrasound. She let it out when she heard Nyko quiet chuckle.

“What?” Clarke opened her eyes and looked at Nyko.

“Look here at the screen.” Nyko smiled between her and Bellamy. “There is Baby A and there is baby B. You two are expecting twins.”

“T-twins?” Clarke stuttered, her brow furrowed in confusion as she stared at Nyko.

“Here, this is baby A’s heartbeat.” Nyko pressed a button and the beating sound echoed through the room. “And Baby B’s heartbeat.” He moved the wand until a second heartbeat echoed.

“That’s amazing.” Bellamy breathes out in awe.

“Twins?” Clarke asked again for confirmation.

“You’re having twins. Congratulations.” Nyko grinned widely.

“There’s two babies in there?” She stared at the screen. “Are they healthy? Is there anything wrong?” Panic started to fill Clarke again.

“They’re measuring perfectly and they’re healthy. There’s nothing wrong, this is a healthy pregnancy.” Nyko assured with a smile. “I’m going to print your guys some pictures.” Nyko handed Clarke some tissues before getting up. “I’ll be back in one moment.” He walked out leaving Bellamy and Clarke alone.

“We’re having twins.” Clarke looked at Bellamy slowly, who just grinned.

“It’s amazing.” Bellamy kissed Clarke slowly.

“There’s two.” She mumbled still in shock.

“Yeah.” He chuckled.

***** ***** ***** *****

Clarke finally felt like she could relax after her appointment with Nyko. She was still in shock over the fact that they were having twins but Bellamy seemed over the moon. Bellamy insisted that they go out for date night considering it had been over a year since they had a date and the kids were having sleepovers. Clarke took her time meticulously curling her hair and doing her makeup before she put on Bellamy’s favourite red dress.

“Are you ready? We’re going to be late.” Bellamy called out from the bottom of the stairs.

Clarke walked downstairs slowly and watched Bellamy state at her with wide eyes. Clarke felt her cheeks burn red.

“You look amazing.” Bellamy smiled taking in her appearance again. “I’m so god damn lucky.”

“I thought I’d pull this one out before I’m inevitably too big to wear it.” Clarke laughed quietly as she reached Bellamy. “So where are we going?”

“An Italian place, I thought it’ll be the best place to take my beautiful girlfriend, especially when she’s carrying not one but two of my children.” He smirked and kissed her.

Bellamy led her out to the car and opened the door for her to get in.

“Why thank you.” Clarke smiled getting in.

The drive to the restaurant was quietly, Bellamy rested his hand on top of Clarke’s stomach with a grin on his face. His grin didn’t falter when they walked to the restaurant, sat down and ordered.

“I can’t believe it’s twins, it’s insane.” Clarke laughed and took a sip of her water.

“It’s amazing, we were only trying for two months if you include the month where we were waiting for your birth control to leave your system,” Bellamy commented with a smile.

“In 7 months we’re going to have five kids in our house.” Clarke relaxed back in her seat.

“Do you want any more?” He had a smirk on his face as he watched her.

“Not after these two, I want to get my tubes tied or something so we don’t need to worry about it.” She looked for disappointment in his face but didn’t find any.

“I think our family will be complete with these two.” He smiled as the waitress dropped off their entrees.

Clarke looked down at the dish in front of her and sighed quietly when she noticed the shrimp on the plate. Knowing they were cold, she couldn’t eat them.

“Can we switch?” Clarke asked quietly, biting her lip.

“Yeah, babe.” Bellamy smiled and switched their plates around.

“Thank you.” Clarke smiled and started to eat.

“So when do you want to tell everyone?” Bellamy raised his eyebrow slowly.

“I want to wait as long as possible, just to make sure everything is okay.” She spoke quietly.

“Thanksgiving?” He suggested with a raised eyebrow, taking a bite out of the piece of shrimp.

“If I can hide it that long.” She nodded slowly.

“Your first?” An older lady from the table next to them. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.”

“Our fourth and five actually, twins.” Bellamy smiled proudly.

“Oh wow, you’re both so young.” The woman smiled slowly. “How old are your others?”

“One that's about to turn 8 and two that are about to turn 5.” Bellamy beamed, he loved bragging about their kids.

“Two sets of twins? You two are really blessed.” The older lady smiled.

“That we are.” He grinned widely.

“You two have a lovely night.” The older lady smiled and turned back to her meal.

"You look so beautiful tonight." Bellamy grinned, his eyes firmly locked onto her.

"You're lying but thank you." Clarke felt her cheeks burning red.

"It's true and I'm the luckiest man alive to have you." He leaned over the table and kissed her slowly.

"We're both lucky." She smiled slowly and kissed them again. "We need to go school shopping for the kids, we have so much to buy and we have a parent meet up for Mini and Theo." Clarke sat back with a quiet sigh. "We have so much to do." she groaned quietly.

"We can do it, just relax babe." He smirked as he watched her, his eyes were full of love and affection.

***** ***** ***** *****

The morning sun peeked through the curtains, the rays warming the bare skin it hit. Clarke groaned quietly as she sat up, running her hands through her hair. her stomach churned at the movement of her sitting up. Morning sickness was definitely something that she never missed about being pregnant. Keeping the pregnancy from Bellamy was selfish but she was terrified how hurt and disappointed he would be if she had another miscarriage. She didn't want to disappoint him. Now knowing they were having twins, she didn't know exactly how to feel. A part of her was excited and happy, another part of her was terrified that something was going to go wrong. She ran her hand down her face with a sigh and pulled back the blanket, getting up slowly, she grabbed her robe to cover her naked form.

Clarke walked downstairs into the kitchen with a yawn, neither of them had gotten much sleep last night. They were busy exploring each other. It wasn't often that they had the house to themselves and they could do whatever they wanted and make as much noise as they wanted. She put a pot of water onto the stove to heat up so she could make herself tea and put the pot of coffee on for Bellamy. Another yawn left her lips as she opened the fridge, she bit her lip trying to decide what to have for breakfast.

"Good morning," Bellamy whispered in her ear before kissing her neck.

"Good morning." Clarke moaned quietly as he kissed her neck.

Bellamy turned her around and kissed her slowly as his hands travelled down to her ass. He lifted her with ease and carried her over to the counter.

"Bell." Clarke giggled against his lips as he put her down on the counter.

Clarke felt him smirk against her lips as he put his hands on her knees and willed her legs to open. They opened willingly and his hands travelled up her thighs and pulled her closer to the edge of the counter.

"Didn't you have enough of me last night?" Clarke giggled against his lips as he pulled his boxers down.

"I can never have enough of you." he breathed out with a grin as he pushed inside of her.

Clarke moaned loudly as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him slowly. He started to move slowly inside her, his arms wrapping around her. As his pace picked up, Clarke through her head back moaning loudly.

"Bell." Clarke whimpered as she bit her lip.

Clarke took a fist full of Bellamy's hair and pulling it slightly, causing a groan to leave Bellamy's lips. Bellamy bucked his hips into her causing her to cry out. She rocked her hips against him, craving more stimulation, his hands moved from her back to her hip to stop her from rocking her hips.

"No." he growled against her lips.

He started to pause between thrusts, taking his time to build up more power behind each thrust. She dug her nails into the bare skin of his back and gently bit into the skin of his shoulder causing him to growl and thrust harder. Bellamy pulled her closer and rested his chin over her shoulder as he sped up.

"Shit." Bellamy pulled out abruptly causing Clarke turned her head to see Aurora and Tybe turning around quickly.

"Oh my god." Panic filled Clarke as she pulled up her silk robe and got off the bench, her face turning red.

"We're just going to wait in the living room," Aurora spoke quickly walking into the lounge room.

Clarke ducked her head and rushed upstairs, she couldn't believe they just walked in on her and Bellamy having sex. Bellamy had followed her up and got dressed as fast as she did.

"I'm mortified Bell," Clarke mumbled as she pulled her hair up into a ponytail.

"It's definitely not what I ever wanted to happen." He groaned, running his hand through his hair. "Let's go see what's up."

Clarke reluctantly went downstairs with Bellamy. They found Aurora and Tybe waiting in the lounge room.

"Sorry, we should've knocked." Aurora apologised quickly.

"It's okay." Bellamy shrugged quickly, it was obvious that he'd rather just forget what just happen.

"We just wanted to see if you guys wanted to come out for breakfast," Tybe spoke up as he crossed his arms.

"Yeah, we could go for breakfast," Bellamy answered quickly.

"Why don't you guys meet us at the diner?" Aurora smiled slowly.

"We'll see you there." Bellamy smiled easily but Clarke still felt mortified.

Chapter Text

There was nothing that put a damper on your sex life than having your mother and her boyfriend walking in on you, right in the middle of you having sex with your girlfriend in the middle of your kitchen. Bellamy knew that this was going affect their sex life for a while but he hoped Clarke’s hormones would help them get over that. Bellamy knew his mother and Tybe wouldn’t drive 3 hours from their new place in the city without Roman just to have breakfast, something was definitely up.

Bellamy stares sceptically at his mother across the table as their food arrived.

“Alright, What’s this really about?” Bellamy raised his eyebrow slowly. “You didn’t drive all this way, just for breakfast.”

“We were planning to talk about after we ate.” Aurora sighed loudly.

“We can talk about it now.” His voice came out more annoyed than he had meant it to.

“Okay.” Aurora sighed and put her fork down pushing her plate away slightly. “Your father has reached out to me and wants to meet you.”

Bellamy scoffed and shook his head, pushing his plate away. Anger was starting to boil up inside Bellamy. His father had left his mother before Bellamy was even born. Bellamy never wanted to meet his father, he had made up his mind when he was around Madi’s age.

“Did you tell him there’s no chance in hell?” Bellamy crosses his arms, watching his mother.

“No, I said I’d speak to you about it.” Aurora ran her hand through her hair.

“If he wanted to see me he should’ve tried 28 years ago.” His voice was slick with hatred.

“Bell, he was young and he made a mistake, when he found out I was pregnant, he was terrified. His family were extremely religious and would’ve disowned him.” Aurora sighed quietly. “I forgave him a long time ago, Bell, I found peace with the fact that he left me to be a single parent.”

“Doesn’t mean that I have to,” Bellamy muttered and stood up. “Clarke lets go.”

Bellamy shoved his hands into his pockets and watched Clarke, waiting for her to get up. Clarke didn’t move, she just watched him with a frown.

“You’re not so different than your father,” Clarke muttered and got up, pushing past him to walk out of the diner.

A growl left Bellamy’s lips, his anger exploding inside him. He stormed out of the diner, slamming the diner door open.

“Are you always going to hold that against me?” Bellamy snapped loudly. “I get it I fucked up but haven’t I made up for it the last six years?”

“I’m not holding it against you!” Clarke groaned frustrated. “I was just saying that you’re not so different from your father! You have a lot of similarities to him, you’ve both been through difficult situations and haven’t made the best choices!”

“That’s holding it against me!” He snapped again, closing the space between them. “You’re always just going to see me as that asshole who left you to go through your pregnancy and raising Madi alone for three years!” He screamed, frustrated. “I’m just that asshole, aren’t I? Clarke!”

“I forgave you a long time ago for that.” Her voice was quiet and she shook her head. “I forgave you, I know why your mom forgave your father. You and I both know what it’s like to be terrified when you find out you're going to be a parent. At least you still have the chance to get to know your father.”

“Clarke...” Bellamy sighed defeated and reached out for her, she was right.

“No Bell, I need some space.” Clarke shook her head and walked away from him quickly.

Bellamy raked his hand down his face and watched Clarke walk down the street towards the bar. Bellamy knew he had fucked up, he didn’t mean to snap at her. He groaned, raking his hand down his face and walked back inside the diner.

“I’ll meet with him, give him my number,” Bellamy spoke quietly to his mother, not sitting down.

“Clarke’s not wrong, Bell.” Aurora sighed. “Like your father, you weren’t there for Clarke’s pregnancy with Madi.” She took a deep breath. “You had the sense to be there for your child. Your father didn’t but that’s on him. He’s trying to make up for that. At least you have the chance to get to know him, Bell.”

“I know,” Bellamy let out a loud sigh. “I blew up at Clarke about it, I really shouldn’t have. I hate that I put her through that.”

“I know you do, Bell.” Aurora sighed rubbing the back of her neck.

“I’ve got to go find her, she walked off.” He sighed and leant down kissing his mother’s cheek.

“We’ll come by later to see the kids.” She spoke quietly as Bellamy got a couple of twenty dollar bills out of his pocket and put them on the table.

***** ***** *****

Bellamy found Clarke in her office at the bar, she was slumped down on the couch in her office eating a huge bowl of scrambled eggs. He leant against the doorway watching her, not sure if he should go in or not. He found it slightly odd that she was eating eggs, she hated the smell of eggs when she was pregnant. His chest ached painfully when he realised that she had been crying.

“I’m sorry.” Bellamy finally spoke up but he didn’t move.

“I’m not angry, your father is a sensitive subject,” Clarke spoke up as she sat up properly. “You don’t know what he’s like Bell. He was a scared 17-year-old from a super religious family when he left your mom. He’s had to live with that decision for the last 28 years.”

“I know, I told my mom to give him my number.” He spoke quietly as he ran his hand through his hair. “A part of me has always been angry at him for not being there.”

A silence hung between them as he ran his hand down his face.

“The other part of me realises that even without my father, I still had the same amount of love and my life didn’t feel empty because he wasn’t there.” His voice lowered in volume as he looked up at her through his hair.

“I’d like to see if you look like him,” Clarke spoke quietly with a small smile.

“Yeah, that’ll be interesting to see.” He smiled and walked over to sit on the couch next to him.

“I’d like to see where you, Madi and Mini get your tanned skin from.” She smiled slowly.

“You know I’ve never even seen a picture of him, Mom never kept any.” He turned to watch her start eating the bowl of scrambled eggs again. “I thought you hated eggs when you’re pregnant.”

“I do but they,” She pointed at her stomach. “Want eggs all of the time. I gave in and got eggs.”

Bellamy smiled and spread his hand across her stomach.

“Give your Mommy a break okay?” He spoke down to her stomach.

“I’m half enjoying the eggs but the other half of me is gagging.” She let out a small laugh.

Bellamy kissed the top of Clarke’s head gently. Clarke put the bowl aside and climbed onto Bellamy’s lap.

“What are you doing?” He smirked slightly as he watched her.

“I want to finish what we started this morning.” She whispered and kissed him slowly, lifting up her dress.

“Even after this morning?” He mumbled against her lips.

She hummed, agreeing and undoing his pants, freeing him. He hardened in her had as she guided him to her entrance. A moan left both of their lips as she sunk down on top of him. He threw his head back, taking in the feeling of her wrapped around him. He could never get tired of the feeling.

“Bell.” She let out a whimper as she started to move, letting him move inside her.

Bellamy bit his lip, trying to control himself. He wanted to make sure she was satisfied before he came. From the feeling of her pulsating around him, she wasn’t going to last long. She soon began bouncing on top of him, biting her own lip to stop herself from moaning too loudly. He just watched her as she planted her hands on his chest to steady herself as she sped up her movements.

“Come on baby.” He encouraged as he slipped his hand between them so his thumb could rub small circles on her clit.

Clarke’s body responded with a jerk and she tightened around him even more. Her orgasm was starting to take over her, her movements slowed to a rocking motion. Clarke burrowed her head into the curve of his neck as she moaned. Bellamy grabbed her hips and began to thrust upwards into her. It only took a few thrusts for him to unravel inside her as she shook with her own orgasm.

“I love you,” Clarke spoke with laboured breaths.

“I love you too.” Bellamy kissed her slowly, wrapping his arms around her.

Both Bellamy and Clarke jumped when the office door flung open. Bellamy saw Tybe over Clarke’s shoulder, turning on his heels.

“Shit sorry,” Tybe muttered.

“Twice in one day,” Bellamy muttered as Clarke climbed off him and he did up his pants again.

Clarke and Bellamy got up of the lounge, straightening up their clothes.

“Hey Tybe, what’s up?” Clarke walked over to him slowly.

“Can I talk to you about something alone?” Tybe spoke up rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’ll go pick up the kids.” Bellamy gave Clarke a quick kiss before walking out.

***** ***** ***** *****

After putting the kids to bed, Bellamy found Clarke sitting on the floor sifting through boxes marked with Roan on the side in black sharpie. Clarke picked up a photo of Roan and stared at it for a long time.

“You okay?” Bellamy asked quietly, sitting on the floor next to her.

“Yeah.” Clarke nodded and put the photo back in the box, he knew that she wasn’t completely okay.

“It’s okay not to be, you don’t have to pretend just because of me.” He spoke quietly as he rubbed her back.

“I just have looked at these boxes since I packed them away.” She spoke sadly. “I can’t believe it been five years already.”

Clarke was quiet for a long time. Bellamy could tell that her mind was being flooded with memories and possibly thoughts of what could have been.

“You know, every time I see the photos of him at the bar and even seeing this one.” He picked up the photo that she had put back in the box. “It reminds me how much Theo looks like him.”

“He does, doesn’t he?” She smiled looking and the photo as she rested her head on his shoulder.

“We should give this to Theo when we tell him.” He suggested quietly.

“There’s a few more in here, then there are a few things I’d like to give to him at different times, birthdays and special occasions.” She stared at the picture.

“What did Tybe want?” He asked quietly as he picked up a stack of photos from the box.

“He wanted some of Roan’s things and to ask if he could open another Dropship a few towns over. He wanted to ask we can be partners in it.” She spoke quietly.

“What stuff of Roan’s?” He shuffled through the photos slowly, examining each one.

“A ring that belonged to Roan’s aunt.” She spoke quietly.

“He’s proposing?” He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“He said that he’s planning to do it in the next couple of months.” She spoke quietly.

Bellamy stopped looking through the pictures when he found a couple of Clarke in bed naked, the sheets just covering her. A pang of jealousy washed over him when he found a picture of Clarke and Roan in bed, they were both obviously naked and his lips were firmly pressed against her temple. He quickly shuffled through the photos, he felt stupid for being jealous of a dead man. He put the photos down leaning back against the lounge.

“We need to tell Theo and Mini tomorrow before they go with O to your Mom’s.” Clarke looked at him slowly. “Then we can go school shopping for them.”

“Yeah, why don’t we give him something of Roan’s?” He suggested quietly.

“I was thinking this and a few pictures of him.” She picked up a necklace out of the box. “I used to give him this to play with when he was a baby.”

***** ***** ***** *****

Bellamy hadn’t felt these kinds of nerves in a very long time. They sat in the living room with Theo and Minerva getting ready to tell them about their birth parents. They were going to tell Minerva first because hers was the easier story or at least that’s what Bellamy thought.

“Mini and Theo, Mommy and Daddy need to tell you something,” Clarke spoke up. “Mini will go first okay?”

Both kids nodded slowly watching their parents. They had tossed up telling them at the same time or telling them separately. They decided to tell them at the same time so both of them knew what was happening.

“A birth mom is a mom who had you in their tummy,” Bellamy explained quietly. “Do you understand that?” He watched the little girl nod. “Mommy isn’t your birth mom. Your birth mom didn’t want to be a mom when you were born. When Daddy brought you home, Mommy decided that she really really wanted to be your Mommy.”

“Okay.” Minerva shrugged not really phased by the news.

“Are you okay sweetie?” Clarke asked quietly, her voice was full of worry.

“Yeah, Mommy.” Minerva smiles widely.

“Is Mommy my mommy?” Theo asked quietly.

“Yeah baby, I’m your Mommy.” Clarke nodded slowly as Minerva climbed into Bellamy’s lap and he kissed her head.

Bellamy watched Clarke take a deep breath and pick up the photos. Theo watched his mother worried and it made Bellamy worry that he wasn’t going to take the news well.

“Baby, your name is Theo Roan Azgeda not Blake like Daddy, Madi and Mini,” Clarke explained.

“Daddy isn’t my daddy?” Theo frowned deeply.

“Daddy is your daddy but like how Mini has a birth Mom you have a birth, Father,” Clarke explained. “Your father went to heaven while you were still in my tummy. When Daddy met you, he really wanted to be your daddy.”

“What was his name?” Theo asked curiously.

“His name was Roan like your middle name.” Clarke moved to sit next to Theo. “This is him, he was really excited that you were coming. He picked out your name and everything.”

“He had long hair too?” Theo looked up at Clarke curiously.

“He used to grow it really really long and then chop it back to this length, just to do it all over again.” Clarke smiled indicating the length just touching his shoulders.

“Daddy is still my daddy?” Theo asked dropping his head.

“Theo, nothing changes. I’m always going to be your daddy.” Bellamy assured quietly. “Come here, Buddy.”

Bellamy pulled Theo onto his lap and held him close as Minerva went back to sit on the couch.

“Mommy and Daddy just wanted to make sure that you two knew okay?” Bellamy said quietly as he held Theo close.

“We’re special.” Minerva smiled excitedly.

“Yeah, baby.” Clarke smiled and hugged her daughter.

“I love you, Daddy,” Theo mumbled and hugged Bellamy.

“I love you too buddy.” Bellamy smiled hugging Theo.

“Did you know him?” Theo looked up at Bellamy slowly.

“I did, he was a very good guy,” Bellamy spoke quietly. “He was a very good man and he loved your Mommy very much.”

“As much as you love Mommy?” The little boy asked curiously.

“Yeah, he was going to marry your Mommy and I know for a fact he loved you very much.” Bellamy pressed a kiss to the top of Theo’s head. “This belonged to your father, Mommy and Daddy want you to have it okay.” He passed the little boy the necklace.

“Can I wear it?” Theo asked quietly and he fiddled with the dark crystal pendant.

“Of course you can baby.” Clarke took the necklace and put it over his head. “Do you two have any questions?” She looked between the two kids.

The two kids shook their heads and silence hung over them for a few moments.

“We go shopping now?” Minerva asked quietly.

“Go put your shoes on.” Bellamy chuckled quietly.

Chapter Text

Clarke was honestly surprised with how well Minerva and Theo adjusted to the news about their birth parents. Mini was unphased by the news and Theo peppered his parents with questions about Roan. Theo never took Roan’s necklace off, it was his favourite thing. Clarke was thankful that she was able to adjust the necklace so it wouldn’t fall off him. Clarke had framed a picture of Roan So Theo could have it on his bedside table. Clarke had noticed that Bellamy was making sure to spend extra time with Theo, she knew that a part of Bellamy was worried that Theo would feel left out or not loved enough by Bellamy since they told him. Theo used to be all about Mommy but since telling him about Roan, all he wanted was Daddy. Mini was normally a Daddy’s girl like her big sister but now seemed to want to do a lot of things with Clarke. 

The school had decided they wanted to an orientation day with the new kindergarten students and their parents the day before school started. Bellamy had a faculty only day at work so Clarke was taking them then Bellamy was going to come straight after his meetings. Clarke had started showing the week after her appointment with Nyko and now there was a definite curve in her once toned stomach. Loose shirts and dresses were her best friend right now. She was definitely showing way more than in her other pregnancies. Bellamy seemed amazed the day she popped, he kept staring at her stomach and kissing it as they laid in bed. It took most of her energy to hide her grimace when smells set off her morning sickness but she was determined to keep it a secret until thanksgiving. 

Clarke knew she was going to be one of the youngest Moms at the orientation day. She picked out a loose dress, pairing it with heels and a cardigan in and effort to look more mature. When they arrived they had separated the children from the parents so they could play games and get to know each other. The parents were ushered to another room where they explained what they needed volunteers for and class snacks. They then decided to have everyone go around to introduce themselves and explain who they were parents of. The group of parents were predominantly Moms with a few fathers. Apparently Bellamy wasn’t the only parent who was coming later. Each parent introduced themselves and spoke a little about their children. Clarke was one of the last parents to stand up and from the look of it, Mini and Theo were the only “twins” in the Class. 

“Hi I’m Clarke, I have two kids in kindergarten this year.” Clarke felt awkward standing up. “Minerva Blake and Theo Azgeda. Mini is an outgoing little girl much like her big sister and is very curious about everything around her. Theo is very shy and quiet but he’s very observant and learns very quickly.”

Clarke sat down again feeling embarrassed and slightly judged from the looks that some of the more snobby mothers were giving her. After everyone was finishing introducing each other the teacher was going around asking what each parent was volunteering to do. 

“Hi Clarke, it’s so good to see you again.” The female teacher smiled, she had taught Madi and was a regular at the bar on weekends. “I’m really excited to see how Mini and Theo are like Madi, cause she was such a bright little girl.”

“Hey Sam, it’s so good to see you too.” Clarke was thankful to see a friendly face. “Mini is exactly like Madi, Theo is a bit more shy but he’s hungry to learn constantly. He likes to ask a lot of questions.”

“I’m sure we can open Theo up, what would you like to volunteer for?” Sam smiled politely as she looked down at her clip board. 

“Bell and I can do the welcome Class party,” Clarke smiled. “That’s on Thursday ri-.”

“We haven’t decided on a budget for that.” One of the snobby mothers interrupted. 

“That’s okay, we’re more than happy to cover the cost.” Clarke faked a smile at the mother. 

“You’re going to cover the whole cost? We planned to order the food, so the kids can have a full meal.” The snobby mother crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes at Clarke. “That might be a bit out of your budget.” The mother looked Clarke up and down as Sam stifled a laugh. “My husband and I are more suited to do the welcome Class party, we have the means.”

“We’re more than capable of doing the welcome Class party.” Clarke crossed her arms getting annoyed. 

“Where the hell are you going to get proper catering on such short notice or do you plan on cooking yourself?” The mother crossed her arms. 

“We have a chef at the Dropship who will be catering the party.” Clarke narrowed her eyes. 

“Do you work there or something?” The mother scoffed. “The staff discount would definitely help.”

“Bell and I will have everything sorted for the Welcome Class party on Thursday,” Clarke walked away from the mother, trying to calm her own annoyance. 

Clarke was on her way to the other side of the room when another woman stopped her. 

“You’re Clarke, right?” The woman smiled. “You own the Dropship, right? I’m Ellie. My son Taylor loves the food there, he makes us take him there all the time.” 

Ellie looked like she was in her late thirties but seemed really laid back, her hair was in a messy bun and she was wear a white T-shirt tucked into her jeans. 

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m glad he likes it. My kids help test out the new menu items, it’s their favourite part of helping Mom with work.” Clarke smiled relaxing. “He’ll be excited, we’re doing the Welcome Class party, I’m getting the chef to pretty much make the whole kid’s menu.”

“He’s going to die when he hears that.” Ellie smiled. “You should meet my husband, he literally only just got here, he had work meetings to go to before he could get off to come. Alex, come meet Clarke, she owns the bar.” Ellie called out. 

The man who walked over from her call looked eerily familiar, he had tanned skin and a mop of dark brown curls that had been tamed slightly with a styling product. Clarke couldn’t make the connection but brushed it off. He was wearing black dress pants with a button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He must have been in his mid to late forties with a wide bright smile. 

“So you own the bar my son has been obsessed with since we moved here.” Even his voice seemed slightly familiar. “I’m Alex, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“I’m Clarke, it’s nice to meet you too.” Clarke smiled and shook Alex’s hand. 

“We should set up a play date for our kids, I think Taylor will love that.” Ellie smiled widely. 

“Mini and Theo would kill for one.” Clarke smiled, pushing her hair behind her ear. 

“Is your husband coming today?” Ellie smiled slowly. 

“Yeah he should be here soon, he just had some meetings today, he works over at the high school.” Clarke’s smile widely at the fact that Ellie called Bellamy her husband. 

“He works at the high school? That’s where Alex just started.” Ellie grinned at Alex. 

“What department does he work in?” Alex smiled slowly. 

“History, he’s a big nerd for it.” Clarke blushed slightly as her phone buzzed in her purse. 

“What’s his name? Maybe I met him today.” Alex asked as Clarke sifted through her purse to find her phone. 

“Bellamy Blake.” Clarke didn’t look up until she retrieved her phone, she found Alex and Ellie staring at her in shock. 

There was a long silence between the three adults and it took a few moments for it to click in her head. 

“You’re Bellamy’s Father?” Clarke huffed out still slightly dumbfounded by the revelation. 

“We were supposed to meet up this weekend.” Alex rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. 

Before Clarke could respond, she felt a kiss on her cheek and turned to find Bellamy smiling at her. 

“Bell.” Clarke breathed out, still in shock over the revelation. 

“What’s wrong?” Bellamy frowned and looked towards Alex. 

“I hoped we weren’t going to meet like this.” Alex breathed out and extended his hand towards Bellamy. “I’m Alex.”

Clarke watched Bellamy’s brows knit together, he had spoken on the phone to him and knew his name. She watched Bellamy slowly outstretch his hand to meet Alex’s.

“Bellamy.” Bellamy cleared his throat and shoved his hands into his pockets. “So why are you here?” He frowned, not quiet connecting the dots. 

“I have a younger son, Taylor, who’s starting kindergarten.” Alex explained quietly. “This is my wife, Ellie.” He smiled putting a hand on Ellie’s back. 

“It’s so nice to finally get to meet you.” Ellie smiled widely, holding out her hand which Bellamy shook immediately with a small smile. 

“It’s nice to meet you too, forgive me, I just wasn’t prepared to meet you today.” Bellamy spoke awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Why don’t we all go out for lunch? They don’t need the parents again for another couple of hours while the kids play and get to know each other.” Clarke suggested, hoping that it would make this meeting less awkward. 

“That sounds like a great idea,” Ellie agreed quickly. “Should we go to the bar?”

“That sounds great.” Bellamy spoke up quietly. “We’ll meet you there.” 

Bellamy was quiet as they walked out of the school to his car in the parking lot. Clarke wondered what was on his mind as they got in.  Clarke relaxed back in her seat with a loud sigh as she ran her hand over her stomach. Bellamy reached over, putting his hand on her stomach, his thumb gently rubbing her stomach. 

“You okay?” Clarke asked quietly as she looked up at him. 

“Yeah, I’m kind of happy that meeting him was stress free.” Bellamy visibly relaxed as he kept his hand on her stomach as he started the car.   “And there wasn’t the anxiety of waiting to meet him.”